Best wishes for 2020!

Chapter 28

Since it had been Arwen who had suggested it, I found no fault in proposing to Legolas that he could join me in my study if he so wished it. He accepted the offer with a smile and my heart expanded at the sight of it. Then I conducted him there. As I closed the door behind us he turned to face me and his head was cocked to one side.

"Have you no pressing business, my lord?"

"No," I told him flatly and watched, transfixed, as humour glinted in his eye. I leaned against the door. "Are you happy to see my sons returned?"

"Aye," he said, wandering a little further into the room.

Distantly I wondered if there was to be a change in the weather for the afternoon light as it fell in through my window appeared to have dulled somewhat. But it mattered not for Legolas shone like gold.

"I am," he continued. "I enjoy their company. And I shall like to hear their latest tales."

I nodded but was given no chance to reply for suddenly he was coming closer again and there had come a thoughtful look into his face.

"Though I confess," he went on, quietly now, "that it would please me even more to spend that time with you, my lord."

My breath, at this admission, became a flimsy whisper of air. "I am sorry," I said, "for not giving you that time."

But he shook his head and flashed a small smile. "I understand. You are Lord and your time is precious."

Frowning, I reached for him and he did not flee as I stroked his cheek.

"You are precious," I said, and upon his skin blossomed a pale rosy fire.

It was indeed becoming real, I knew. Time, it seemed, was the issue – in so many ways. And courage, perhaps. And Glorfindel's words had stirred memory in me and now vague worries woke to writhe in my heart. There were matters I had not yet discussed with Legolas and it may well be that I was unconsciously avoiding them for fear of his response. Slowly, I lowered my hand and I drew a deep breath.

"I know our life here is different from what you are used to," I began. "I know also that I have robbed you of your purpose but Imladris is already protected and I cannot permit you to go hunting orc with my sons. No matter… what is between us, you are a guest here and as such it is my duty to ensure your safety."

He did not object. "I do understand," he said. "You need not explain."

"But I do," I persisted, and now something shifted in my breast and there was a sharp twang near my heart. "I have no great forest to offer. My home I made among the falling and flowing waters, not by root and stem. You are a wood-elf, Legolas."

He did not reply at once but only stood regarding me. A line appeared between his brows as he worked out the meaning of my words for himself. I who had throughout the years only felt an ever deepening love for my Valley – the stronghold-turned-haven – was suddenly less sure about its allure now.

"You have trees, my lord," he said slowly.

"Aye, but no woods. Not as you know them."

Then Legolas nodded and for many cruel heartbeats I thought that he was seeing what I saw and that he would agree with me and subsequently leave.

"A dark wound festers in Mirkwood," he began, "and it is true that parts of the Forest have become corrupted and are rotting into misery. Enchantment, too, lies upon it, as devised by my father, for as you know he is protective of his realm."

He glanced down briefly and I wished only to take him in my arms but I stayed the impulse.

"I suppose you took some notice of it, my lord, on your journeys thither, though it is not primarily set to unsettle elves. We do not see it as travellers do," he went on, after a pause. "To my people, the beauty of the Forest remains largely unmarred. I have lived among those trees in much joy."

At his words, a burst of trepidation twisted my breath into a tight knot. Was it not the love of the different faces of nature that had once upon a time led to the first sundering of the Eldar? And Thranduil was a Sinda, come to rule the Silvan Elves with the explicit desire to distance himself from the Noldor; what was to say that his son was not similarly inclined?

But Legolas, standing before me in the fading daylight, took another step closer and sought my eyes with his.

"You doubt yourself, my lord. And what you have to offer," he said, and his eyes briefly narrowed.

"I do," I admitted, above my breath. "As I never have before."

"Why?"

"I could not say."

If I looked into my heart perhaps I would find guilt there. Guilt for feeling such a love for Legolas as I had never felt for Celebrían. I would find true fear, I thought. Fear that he might leave me. His departure would darken my soul – my world – and my hröa would crumble and I would be lost. Fear of all this; of being so dependent on another's presence in my life. And I could not speak of this, for even as the words came into my mind my lips refused to move.

Long we stood and he watched me closely. Then, finally, and ever so cautiously, did he take my hand in his.

"Tell me more of your life here."

So it was that we settled in my cushioned chairs and, with a deep breath, I willed my fears away. I pulled out the map I had last been studying. I spread it out on the reading table and pointed to a marking, and a name.

"Here," I said, "are the Grey Havens, where Círdan the Shipwright dwells with his people. If you think I am old, I will tell you that Círdan was born under the stars, in ages long past, while the Valar still walked in the woods of Arda."

Slipping into the familiar role of the teacher, I found I still had some strength left.

"I do not think you old, my lord," said he. "Your son spoke in jest before."

"I doubt it," I said dryly, but Legolas only smiled. "In any case, the Valley provides the Havens which such provisions as they need, at times. Our friendship with Círdan's people runs deep."

"Following the Road," I went on, indicating the Great East Road with a forefinger. "Here is Bree. It is a settlement of Men, primarily, but Bree-folk see many travellers, and Halflings dwell there also. They are of the race of Men, yet different."

"They dwell together? Side by side?" He looked up questioningly.

"Yes," I said. "Though these lands," I circled a larger green patch west of Bree, "are truly the lands of the Periannath."

"'The Shire'," he read. "'South Farthing'… and 'Buckland'… I have never heard of these places."

"East of the Mountains, few have," I said. "It is a fair land, by all accounts. The Halflings are a trouble to no one and live yet untroubled by the Shadow."

"Then they are lucky."

"So they are," I said.

As I held his gaze I saw how a deeper shade of grey, cooler and harder, slipped into his eyes, but he shook it off and his eyes cleared.

"Will you not go on, my lord?"

I nodded and turned my attention back to the map. "Bree was once part of the kingdoms of Arnor ere its fall," I said. "Its economy was always based on trade and remains so to this day, though in these days, of course, trade has somewhat dwindled."

"And who is Lord of that place?"

I smiled. "No one. Bree-folk have taken neither King, nor Lord nor Steward."

He pondered this. "It seems to me a strange order," he said finally.

"But natural to them. Yet, they are not left entirely unwatched," I said, careful now to not reveal too much, but the curious light in his eyes spurred me on. "They do not know it themselves but there are those who would come forth and fight for them if need be."

He regarded me long. "Is this your work, my lord?" he asked at last.

"No." I shook my head. "For this task falls to others."

"Your sons spoke little of the Men of the North ere they rode out, but I think I gleaned as much: theirs is a task similar to the one of which you speak, is it not?"

"It is so," I allowed.

"Much have I learned of late," he said softly. "Men and Halflings may dwell in peace together, Men and Elves draw blades under the same trees… And the Naugrim, I have discovered, walk on two legs as the rest of us."

"Come here," said I, and I sat back in my chair and spread my own legs to give him room.

There was not much space but he managed what I hoped was a fairly comfortable position. He came to sit almost in my lap, but not quite, and I wound my arms around his waist and drew him close to me. He secured my hands around him and rested his head against my shoulder. Like this, we were more lying back than sitting, but I was content.

When I closed my eyes I saw sunlight dancing among oaks and alders, and birch leaves, fluttering like butterflies in a warm wind. He lay against me like a blanket of summer and I pressed a kiss to his golden hair and his contented sigh wrapped around us both.

With his fingertips, he drew circles on the back of my hand and my skin tingled where he touched me, as if he made light dance just underneath it. Long we sat like this, until his breathing matched mine and the air in my study grew warm and sweet.

When the sudden knock at my door came, it made us both start and the golden haze that lay wrapped around us cracked and fell to my feet in shards.

"Elrond!" came Glorfindel's voice from the hallway yonder. "It is only I."

Legolas twisted in my arms and I caught his eye. "No, I said. "Stay where you are."

Nonetheless, we straightened as best we could and there was a moment when Legolas could have slipped away from me, but I held on to him firmly.

"Come in," I called, and immediately the door slid open.

It was indeed Glorfindel on the threshold but where I normally would have expected humour in his face at the sight of us, there was now a sense of urgency. His gaze raked over us but then met mine over Legolas' shoulder.

"Forgive me, Elrond, for my intrusion, but you will thank me ere long. For word has come to us that riders have crossed the border."

He licked his lips and briefly his eyes settled on Legolas who had tensed but otherwise sat still. And then he spoke again:

"It is Thranduil riding hither and at great speed."

"My father?" This spurred Legolas into action and my hands fell away from him as he struggled to rise. The usual rich melody in his voice had given way to a metallic, thin note. "My father is coming here?"

"Aye," said Glorfindel, and his smile was grim, "and somehow I think he does not expect this."

"Legolas…" I stood, too, my thoughts coming far too fast for my liking. I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Do not flee," I added in an undertone.

His eyes were clear once more, and oddly bright, when they fastened on me. The light in them was skittish and revealed the edge of fear that had woken in him.

"He never leaves Mirkwood if he can avoid it."

"Then we shall divine the purpose of his visit when he arrives." I lifted my eyes to Glorfindel who was regarding us with a furrowed brow. "Thank you," I told him. "We shall greet him in the courtyard."

TBC