Author's Note: Not all of this chapter is in chronological order, so please follow the time stamps!

(0400 hours)

One of the great myths of space travel is that your ship would always arrive during waking hours. Unfortunately, that wasn't always the case. Maybe if you were a civilian on a luxury vacation cruiser, you could sleep overnight. But Shepard was neither a civilian nor had ever gone on a vacation. That would take too many credits from his meager paycheck. Taking time off was of very little concern for him anyway; with no family to visit and nothing outside of the military, why would he ever leave? Doing nothing just gave him time to think, and he hated thinking; it gave him reflective moments that were just too painful. He'd rather just drink until he collapsed for a night, then get back to work. It always numbed the pain. With alcohol, you never had to think; drinking is one of the only times when he could just "be." He wasn't a notorious drinker or alcoholic; but if he wasn't working, poising his body and his mind was a favorite pass time.

Shepard finished putting on his armor. He stood in front of the mirror, holding his helmet at his side, looking at himself. He thought maybe staring into the mirror would let him peer into his soul, find out what he really was and what he should do. He placed the helmet on his head and turned to leave the room, fully encased inside metal and death. It was 4 am, nothing out of the normal for Shepard. He exited his cabin, peering to see if anyone was there. Damn that quarian. Tali sat at the mess table, her head in her hands. He watched her, looking for any indication that she was awake; he saw none. He began to quietly walk to the stairs, taking gentle footsteps as opposed to the powerful strides he usually took. The last thing he wanted to do was get stopped by one of the soldiers on the ship. He needed to slip off this floor, quietly.

He got to the staircase and went upstairs to the command deck. It was empty and desolate, a far cry to what he had seen two days before. Only Joker and a comm operator were awake, manning the ship. "Making our final descent now, commander," Joker informed him. "But are you sure we should be continuing while the full crew is asleep?" It was odd to be entering combat without the ship being on full alert; both of Shepard's combat team and the flight crew of the Normandy.

Shepard took a deep breath in and sighed. "Yes, joker. I'm sure you can pilot the ship just fine without them anyway."

Joker chuckled. "Oh, I can pilot my baby just fine. I was talking about your crew, for the most part."

Shepard grimaced under his helmet, invisible to Joker. "I don't need them."

"Whatever you say, commander," Joker sighed out loud. "We'll be at the drop off point in five."

Shepard just turned around and walked away without saying a word. There was nothing to say.

(0415 hours)

The Normandy zoomed out of the clouds as its cargo bay began to open. It descended until its bottom deck faced a hill. Shepard watched the rocky landscape get closer and closer to him. Eventually, the Normandy stopped moving altogether. Shepard hopped to the ground. "Normandy, I'll contact you for pick up when I'm done here."

"Copy that. Good luck, Shepard."

Shepard shut off his comm before speaking again. "I don't need luck."

Shepard began to trudge up the slope of the hill, planting one foot after the other into its dusty surface, until he reached its peak. He got down on one knee to admire the landscape around him. It was so completely unlike anything he had seen before. The sky was a hazy brown-green, and he could see the planet's moon looming large in the distance: a blue coin in the sky, only half-lit. Odd wisps and trails of green dotted the air around him, so unlike anything he had seen. The sun was setting too, giving the glassy rock a glistening red appearance. It was beautiful. Oh, what he would give to leave everything behind, set up a little house up here, and live out his days. He would be alone and forgotten, not having to care about the world at all. He looked down at the ground in front of him, suddenly saddened by a revelation: he could never do that.

Why, his mind cried. What has the galaxy ever given you?

But that was exactly the point. It hadn't given him anything; it did the opposite; it had taken things away. He needed to hunt those responsible down, just like he was doing now. Otherwise, he'd be wracked by guilt until the end of his days; and the deep hatred he carried would never leave him knowing that he had just let it all go. The problem was that he could not let go of all he had: his desire for revenge. Even when it broke him. He'd defined his life by it, so much so it eventually became like a drug. Recently, he'd gone into a relapse after killing Balak, but Akuze was giving him another 'hit'. He stood up, glancing at the view one last time, before turning away. Far into the distance, he could see the facility.

He started his journey, step by step. Maybe if he finished fast enough, he could finish the mission before anyone started asking where he was. The reason he hadn't brought anybody was that this was his fight. No one else should be getting involved. Especially with what he was about to do.

(0430 hours)

He hated guard duty. Standing out in this toxic environment was no fun. Who the fuck is even going to find us here?, he thought.

He walked over to his fellow guard. "Why do they always stick us with this?" he asked.

The other guard clapped him on the shoulder. "Cheer up. I've been here way longer than you. Trust me, sitting out here where it's all quiet is so much better than listening to the screams down there."

The first guard looked down at the floor, apprehensive. Who exactly had he gotten himself involved with? He joined because he wanted to help humanity. But he wasn't exactly sure about their methods. "Do you… ever have regrets about what they do?" he asked.

The second guard lightly punched him in the chest. "Knock it off. You'll get used to it. Now can you stop asking questions?"

"Fine."

He left his location, wanting to get away from the other man, and headed towards the opposite side of the bunker's entrance. He needed time alone to think. You know what? Forget about thinking these stupid things. Just do your job and help the human race. He just leaned against the wall for a while, gazing out into the distance.

POP. POPPOP. He heard three shots fired in quick succession. He held his assault rifle in his grip, squeezing the handle. "Do you have eyes on the attacker," he asked the other guard over the comms. No answer. Maybe this was a prank? "Where the hell is he? Are you messing with me?"

He rounded the bunker to meet up with the first guard, only to find him on the floor, bleeding out. He was already dead. Before he had time to react, he was attacked from behind. He tried to shake the assailant off, but eventually, he lost control over his assault rifle. He felt a kick in the back, and he was sent flying forward. He looked behind him, only to see a man in heavy black armor, a skull painted on his faceplate. He got up to run away, but two more shots were fired, and he felt his legs give out as his knee caps were blown. He collapsed to the ground, rolling over on his back. Now, all he could do was to slowly crawl away in retreat. "Please, what do you…"

Shepard fired a shot right into the soldier's visor, killing him instantly. He tossed the assault rifle to the side. He did not want to hear what this man had to say. He approached the body, searching for the access key to the bunker. As he was ransacking the contents attached to the supply belt, he came across a wallet. Maybe it's in there. He grabbed the wallet, rummaging through its contents. He found what he was looking for, but then he noticed something else. It was a picture, of a smiling man and a woman hugging him. He saw the gaze in their eyes, how they smiled at the camera: they clearly loved each other. Shepard tossed the wallet back onto the body and left towards the entrance. He did not care; if he felt any guilt, it would come later; but he doubted it; this man deserved what was coming to him.

He jogged to the access door, pressed the keycard into the access panel, and stepped inside. The quiet winds were gone now, replaced by the whir of life-support systems and machinery. A guard turned around and saw him. "Hey, you can't-"

Gore splattered everywhere as Shepard's shotgun tore the guard's head off. Another guard started to fire at him, but Shepard lifted him off the ground and sent him flying into the wall. The final guard in the room was speaking into the bases PA system. "Intruder alert. Armed combatant at the front gate. All security personnel-"

Shepard clubbed him over the head with his shotgun, held down the PA system button, and fired twice into the man's chest. The shots could be heard all throughout the base. They knew he was here anyway; might as well scare them with his ferocity. He walked forward into the hallway; it was now or never. He created a biotic barrier in front of him and marched forward. More Cerberus soldiers tried to fire at him, but their bullets bounced off his barrier. Once one of the soldiers passed through the barrier, Shepard fired his shotgun, gutting them. Seeing this, the others retreated out of the hallway and into the next room. He continued walking forward, unfazed.

Once he exited the hallway and walked into the main room, oldiers sprung out from behind crates on both sides, all pointing weapons at him. "We have you surrounded! Surrender now or we will kill you!"

He scanned the crowd, analyzing their weapons and their armor. Maybe when he first started, like when he was on Akuze, he might have died. But he was not the same man from Akuze. They had made sure of that. He was back to haunt them.

"Surrender?" Shepard laughed. "I'm just getting started."

(0500 hours)

A thin veil of smoke clouded the air in the facility. Some small fires burned here or there. Dead bodies littered the floor. Shepard had killed all the soldiers and guards; at least he thought he did. But not without injury. He was leaking blood from his abdomen, where he'd been stabbed by a blade that had slipped between the plates of his armor. The handle had broken off, and the blade remained buried inside him. The suit started to administer medigel, trying to stem the tide from the wound.

He was in the labs now. Vats filled with the fetuses of mysterious creatures lined one of the walls. The several scientists that worked in the room now cowered in the corner as Shepard slowly made is way towards them. He passed through the myriad of science experiments, a world he would never understand.

Eventually, he stood in front of them. "Which one of you is the head researcher?" he asked in a quiet voice, but no one answered. "WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE HEAD RESEARCHER? ANSWER ME?"

One of the scientists feebly raised their hand. "It's…it's mu-mu-me," he stuttered.

Shepard beckoned him forward with his finger. The scientist took slow, meager steps towards him. When he was in arms reach, Shepard grabbed onto his arm and hauled him closer. "Are you sure you are the head researcher?" he asked.

The man nodded his head, fright in his eyes.

"Good." Shepard tossed the man to the ground and pointed his assault rifle at the other assembled scientists, spraying the crowd with bullets. They screamed, both in fear from Shepard and in pain from being shot.

"No! What are you doing?" begged the man on the ground, and he tried to tackle Shepard. In response, Shepard paused his fire, kicked the man in the gut several times, and returned to finish his work. Shepard stopped firing, and the room was silent except for the ragged breathing of the head researcher. "What are you…what are you doing?" he gasped.

Shepard dropped his rifle and grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt, dragging him to his feet. "You are going to tell me everything I want to know. You are going to tell me the location of your bases. And then you are going to die," Shepard said in a quiet voice, almost whispering. Despite his volume, the tone in his voice carried his conviction better than if he were yelling.

"I… I have money," the doctor cried, reaching into his pocket. "Here. My accounts are on that credit chit. Ten million. Just take it. Just take it all!"

Shepard snatched the credit chit out of the man's hand. He would still kill this man. But he couldn't not take the money. It was more than he'd ever managed to save up on meager alliance paychecks. He punched the man in his gut again, dropped him to the floor, and took a seat in one of the lab stools. He bent over to pick up his assault rifle off the ground, and he placed it on the lab bench behind him, carelessly knocking over test tubes and vials.

"You're going to tell me what I want to know. Everything… I want to know." He unholstered his pistol from his thigh and pointed it at the man in front of him.

The scientist held up his hands in a sign of surrender. "I…I will answer your questions…just…I don't want to die."

"Is Cerberus responsible for the Thresher Maw attacks on alliance soldiers?"

"Yes," he nodded.

"Why?" Shepard demanded.

"It was weapons testing. Genetic modification to create living weapons."

Shepard turned to look at the vats from before. He pointed at them; "is that what those…" he struggled to find the word, "things…are?"
"Some, yes."

"What do you mean some?!" Shepard demanded as he fired his gun into the man's shoulder.

He cried out, in obvious pain. "Rachni, they're rachni. A long-extinct, insect-like species," he said in between gasps. Blood stained his white lab coat, and slowly spread outwards from the injury.

"Akuze. You took my men. What. Happened. TO THEM?" He slammed his fist into the table behind him, destroying more laboratory equipment in the process.

"Testing. Experimentation. It was years ago! But I wasn't in charge of that! I swear" he cried.

"Lair!" he roared. "What kind of test?" Shepard got up from his chair, enraged, swing his arms around him violently into tables and chairs before returning to the scientist.

"Implants. Mind control. Regeneration. Sometimes," he gulped, "resurrection." Even he occasionally felt repulsed by the stories. But he wasn't responsible. All he did was grow cells in a test tube!

"And did they survive?" Shepard asked, his voice quivering with emotion. Resurrection meant bringing back somebody to life. Sure, maybe they died. But if they were "resurrected" the could still be alive somewhere, floating around in a vat, just waiting for Shepard to find them.

"N-n-no." Shepard's shoulders slumped; he had failed again. "Then you are of no further use to me, doctor."

Shepard pressed the barrel of his pistol into the scientist's head, preparing to pull the trigger.

"Wait. Just wait. I can still be of use!" he begged.

"How so?" Shepard asked, pressing the barrel even harder into the man's head. However, the scientist was too afraid to speak, even to save his own life. He picked up the scientist by the collar with both hands, holding him at eye level. "Answer me!"

"I overheard one of the soldiers say that they'd brought in an alliance admiral for questioning."

Kahoku, he could still be alive. I haven't failed yet. Shepard put down the scientist, letting him stand on his own two feet. "Take me there."

The scientists slowly led the way out of the dark laboratory and towards the prison block. He stepped over the broken glass of the door and took one last look at his former colleagues. The sharp jab from the gun in his side told him that he would have to keep walking.

(1215 hours)

"Wha-wha-wha-what. So you're telling me Shepard went down there, all by himself!" Kaiden asked, "and you didn't say anything?"

Joker shrugged. "I'm a pilot. I just followed orders and dropped him off. Believe me, it was no fun being awake at four."

Kaiden sighed. It was now twelve, and they had only just found out where the commander was. Shepard should have contacted the ship by now if his mission was completed, but he had failed to do so. That did not bode well. Initially, nobody had noticed because Shepard rarely left his room anyway. He'd only found out that Shepard had left from one of the nighttime engineers who saw him earlier in full combat armor, jumping out of the cargo hold onto the planet below.

But Joker had an idea. "Let me get the story straight. He never told you or anyone else that he'd left already?"

Alenko nodded his head. "Very odd, and I don't like it."

"Well, since he never said anything to you, and he never said I couldn't drop you off, all you'd need is Pressley's permission."

"You know, that just might work," Alenko replied. "Thank you, Joker."

Well, I'm at least glad to know somebody around here appreciates the work I do.

(0510 hours)

The scientist scanned his keycard against the lock's interface, but its light turned red. "I, I don't have access."

Shepard retrieved the security card he had found earlier and handed it to the scientist. "Try this. Your life very much depends on it," he added menacingly. His hands trembled as he took the keycard from Shepard, scanning it on the door. He sighed with relief as the lock turned green and the door buzzed, indicating it was open. He handed the keycard back to Shepard, placing it in his outstretched palm.

They walked through the door and into the prison block. Two rows of cells lined the walls. It was very dark, almost too dark, but Shepard could tell that someone occupied the last one. Through the bars, Shepard could see the rough outline of a body. "Admiral, are you there?" Shepard called out, but no response came. "Admiral!" The admiral was tied to a vertical table, arms and legs outstretched, almost as if he was being crucified.

Shepard grabbed the bar door, trying to rip it off its frame, to no avail. Remembering that he had the keycard, he swiped it against the lock and the door flew open. He turned around to the scientist. "Save his life, and then maybe, just maybe I'll let you live."

Hearing the promising news, the scientist rushed inside. Crude and bloodied instruments lay on a supply cart. Shepard too noticed this, and his mood darkened. The scientist pressed his finger into the admiral's neck, checking for a pulse. But touching the admiral's skin made him nervous at his prospects of saving him: the skin was cold. What made it worse was that with every passing second that he checked for a pulse and none came, he realized with greater certainty that he was going to die.

Shepard grew tired of the scientist's inaction. Why was he just standing there? "Well, can you save him, doctor?"

The scientist retracted his hand from the admiral's neck slowly. He turned to face Shepard in order to deliver the bad news, and possibly his death sentence. "Yo-your f-f-f-friend is d-d-d-deed." Shepard continued to stand in front of him, motionless, almost as if he hadn't heard the news. The scientist stood there, his hand's shaking, waiting for the inevitable. There was no way he could overpower the alliance soldier. He looked down at the instruments on the tray which had been used to torture the admiral. He could see both needles filled with sedative and a stimulant. Oh, they were torturing him like that too, he realized. Administering a sedative to put him to sleep, and then injecting him with a stimulant to jolt him awake; with enough doses, you could kill a person from a heart attack. But he suspected that wasn't Kahoku's mode of death.

Shepard was breathing rapidly, but no matter how many breathes he took, he felt like he was suffocating. His vision turned spotty and he found it difficult to stand. He'd let Cerberus, after killing all of his men, take another life. He'd been too weak to stop them. He was yet again a failure. Still struggling to breathe with the enormity of the news that he had just heard, he took off his helmet and set it down. He felt like he'd been in a similar situation before. From one of the buried recesses of his mind, he remembered a piece of advice: "Just take deep, slow breathes. Breathe through your nose and exhale through your mouth." He listened to the advice and found himself calming down, clarity returning. He remembered what he was planning to do now. Kill this motherfucker. "Well, you've been a great help. But if I am going to be perfectly honest, I was never going to let you live either way. This is goodbye."

However, the scientist had an idea. If he could somehow grab a sedative from the cart and administer it to the commander, he could live. He'd have several hours to get out of here, but that was more than enough.

Shepard began to reach for his pistol, intent on killing the man before him. The scientist jumped for the tranquilizer and jabbed it into Shepard's neck before he could do anything. He simply hadn't been expecting it. It enraged him even more than before. "You should have taken the blade!" Shepard roared as he punched the scientist in the face. He grabbed the scientist by the head and began to smash it into the wall again and again. When Shepard was done, the body slumped to the floor, leaking blood from the back of its head. The man was dead.

Shepard stumbled backward, feeling very tired. He felt like he had ice in his veins. His hand suddenly shot to his neck and pulled out the needle. He turned it over in his hands, reading the label even as his vision went fuzzy. 'Midazolam' it read, 'sedative.' He collapsed to the floor.

(1230 hours)

The Mako was much too packed with all of them inside, especially the Krogan. Alenko drove them off the ramp and slowly lowered the Mako to the ground with the jets. There was no need for a suicidal drop out here.

"Do you think he's…" Tali tried to say, unable to finish her sentence.

"No, they couldn't have killed the tough bastard that fast." But inside his mind, he didn't like the odds. If Shepard was alive, he would have made contact by now. No question about it. He just didn't want to say it out loud.

"I'm not seeing anything, Alenko. Although…yep, Shepard was definitely here. Can you get us to that facility up ahead?" Garrus asked. He was manning the main gun and had used its sights to scan the area around them.

"Sure thing. What'd you see?"

"Dead bodies."

"Fitting."

[1700 hours]

"What do you mean we've lost contact with the facility on Binthu?" The illusive man furrowed his brown in frustration.

"Sir, they haven't made contact in hours. And they are not responding to our hails," explained the scared technician.

The Illusive Man swirled the whiskey in his glass round and round before gulping it down. "Salvage whatever research you can from there databanks. Then, activate remote detonation. We can't have the alliance finding the sight."

"But they could still be alive. We should send a team to…"

"No. Do as I say. The facility is lost." The council's new lapdog was on their trail, and he would leave nothing to chance. He brought his cigar to his mouth and inhaled deeply, the tobacco smoke filling his lungs. His men hadn't been fast enough to secure Kahoku before he could transmit the coordinates. He held his breath for a second before exhaling the smoke. Now, their entire operation was vulnerable.

(1300 hours)

The team had quickly determined that the entire facility had been slaughtered. Bodies littered the floor and blood spatter clung to the walls. It was almost impossible to believe that one person could have been responsible for so much carnage. But they were dealing with a council spectre, nonetheless.

They eventually found him in the prison block, passed out on the floor. Williams rushed to his body to check for a pulse. It was faint, but it was there. She pried the needle out of his death grip, reading what it was: tranqs.

She held it up to the group. "Well, that explains it. Shepard's been drugged. The only question is if he did this to himself, or if someone did it to him."

She turned her head and immediately started to back away. What she saw horrified her. "Oh my god!"

A man was tied to a table, limp and dead. To his side, another man lay with his skull cracked open. Garrus stepped forward, resting his rifle over his shoulder. He was with c-sec, and it was time to put his skills to use. He approached the bodies, smelling them. "This one was dead long before Shepard got here," he stated matter-of-factly as he pointed to the first body. "Although I can't say the same about the other."

Ashley followed Garrus into the cell. Upon closer inspection, she realized the face looked familiar. "That's, that's admiral Kahoku!" she gasped.

"What does it matter? Let's get the commander and get out of here," Tali said. She was not liking the creepy vibe of this place.

Alenko agreed. "Wrex, you carry the commander back to the Mako. Tali, I want you to go with Williams; see if you can gain access to the network and mine their files. Garrus, since this is an admiral, I'm going to need you to document this case."

"And where are you going to be headed, human," Wrex replied. He was not amused with having to carry Shepard's body just because he was a krogan. Yes, he was the largest and strongest, but he wasn't a day laborer.

"Me?" Alenko said, "I'm going to head to the security room. See what happened here." Apart of him wanted to see what Shepard did when they weren't here.

(1500 hours)

Shepard awoke in the Normandy's medical bay. He felt tired, so tired. His eyes remained closed as he rolled on his side, trying to go back to sleep again. Wait a second, wasn't I… He jumped off the exam table, ready to fight. Except, he wasn't in his armor. He patted his thigh, searching for his sidearm, only to find it missing.

"Commander, I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to wake up at all." It was Dr. Chakwas. She sat in her chair, her legs crossed, making the finishing touches on the updates to Shepard's rather lengthy medical record.

"Where…how did I get here?" he asked in confusion.

Chakwas laughed to herself. "Oh, they carried you back, my dear. The thought, the great commander Shepard defeated by a needle."

Shepard disconnected the IV attached to his arm. "It'll take more than that."

"Oh, I know. How'd you end up with a handless knife in your stomach? It made it that much harder to remove. And do you know how many stitches I had to use? You really must take better care of yourself, commander."

Shepard waved her off and got up. He started to walk out of the medical bay when the memories of this morning came rushing back to him. He felt sick to his stomach. Akuze had been nothing more than a science experiment; his men were dead; admiral Kahoku was dead; and he'd passed out in the end. Fucking wonderful. And once again, he felt a dreaded sadness in his heart. He was yet again empty, without purpose.

(1305 hours)

Kaiden walked into the security room. Its front window had been shattered, and the lights flickered. Shepard had probably been in here at some point, looking for whatever it was he was searching for. Kaiden cleared the glass shards off the chair before taking a seat. Rows and rows of computer monitors lined the walls, each showing a different camera angle. At a glance, one could see what had taken place in the entire facility. He activated the haptic interface in front of him, trying to decipher the controls. He pressed the rewind button, and the displays zoomed backwards at incredible speed. He could see his team, searching the facility for Shepard, only in reverse. Before they had arrived, nothing had moved inside of the facility, which had made for hours and hours of nothingness. When he was about to give up, the recordings started to show some movement, and he could see Shepard walking. This must have been from before being drugged. I must be close to his arrival. He stopped the recording just before Shepard had started killing the guards, playing it at four times speed. Even at this pace, it was clear that Shepard had made short work of the guards at the facility.

Once most of the fighting was over, Alenko played the recording normally. He followed Shepard's progress as he made a beeline for the labs. Unfortunately, there was no camera in that area of the base, but the flashes of gunfire coming out of the dark room was all Alenko needed to confirm his suspicions. Shepard had never come here on a rescue mission, at least for the most part. His main goal was to kill all these people. He was the one responsible for the pile of bodies in the lab; Shepard had slaughtered them like animals in a cage. Alenko had no doubt that these scientists were evil, maniacal people; but they deserved justice, to be processed under the full extent of the law for both crimes against the alliance and humanity. However, once Shepard killed them, the point was moot. There would be no justice; there would be no satisfaction for the families who lost people; all that mattered to Shepard was his justice and his satisfaction. Yes, maybe Shepard was a spectre, but Alenko suspected that if he was just a normal soldier, Shepard would have done the same thing. Alenko got up from the chair. It was time he left this place.