Free Time Events: Seita Kirishima (Side C)

EVENT 1: Kirishima-san believes that what one does with their life is most important.

I listened as Kirishima-san shared some of his research with me. Despite the fact that science was my worst subject, and what he was saying was no more comprehensible than my teachers' lectures, I did my best to show that I was at least paying attention.

After a little while of awkward one-sided conversation, Kirishima-san decided to get to the point.

"Pardon my bluntness, Nagato-kun," Kirishima-san said, "but you hate me, do you not?"

I hesitated a moment. While my answer was "no," it probably wasn't the one that Kirishima-san wanted to hear. As he looked at me expectantly, I realized he wanted me to answer, and so I did.

"I believe it's a sin to hate people," I said, "but it's also a sin to lie, so I'll admit it- I don't like you."

"That answers my question," Kirishima-san said, "but why did you choose to spend time with me?"

"I want to understand you better" I said, "starting with what you said after the third trial. More specifically, I want to know why you think Akira-san's life was meaningless."

"Her death," Kirisihima-san said firmly. "Azuki-kun gave her life for the others but her becoming responsible for Mihama-kun's death happened purely due to chance. We may have survived, but only until the next murder and class trial."

I had no rebuttal to that, especially not when Kirishima-san wasn't finished speaking.

"That being said," Kirishima-san said, "while I stand by what I said back then, I did not mean that her life was meaningless."

"Fair enough," I said, "but why do you say that her death was meaningless, but her life wasn't?"

"People can die for almost any reason conceivable," Kirishima-san said, "whether as a consequence of their own actions or mere chance. However, the worth of one's life come from the sum total of one's accomplishments. In the course of her short life, Azuki-kun starred in movies, which will likely be viewed many times after she died, and will become her legacy."

I appreciated the clarification, even if I still didn't think much of it... or the seemingly disapproving tone in Kirishima's tone.

"You don't think much of Akira-san's legacy, do you, Kirishima-san?" I said.

"I believe that making movies is of less significance to the human race than a useful invention or important scientific discovery," Kirishima-san said. "On the other hand, it is far more than most people can aspire to. If nothing else, those who watched her movies will remember her name and her accomplishments."

"Perhaps," I said, "but what about the power that movies and other forms of entertainment have to enrich people's lives?"

Kirishima-san scoffed.

"Perhaps they do have such power," Kirishima-san said, "but that power's benefit is difficult to ascertain, and so is of little meaning to me."

Knowing I wouldn't get anywhere with Kirishima-san, I dropped the subject. He seemed so intelligent and sure in his ways that it would be impossible for someone like me to teach him anything, but maybe I could learn from him.

EVENT 2: Kirishima-san is quite serious about one's legacy being all that matters. He's willing to make any sacrifice necessary for the sake of his legacy, but is it necessarily altruistic?

I talked with Kirishima-san again, and discussed famous scientists with him. He even admired some of the ones whose findings became obsolete later, since what they'd discovered had laid the groundwork for future research.

"Are people's careers and achievements really all that matter, Kirishima-san?" I said. "What about, say, raising a family?"

"That, too, is worthwhile" Kirishima-san said. "If you raise your children well, they may go on to become admirable members of society. Himemiya-kun, for example, is one of the latest members in a long dynasty that has upheld the family name for generations."

So at the very least, Kirishima-san agreed with some of my points. I was tempted to call this a victory of sorts, but I wanted to know more about his position.

"But if I recall correctly, Himemiya-san isn't her family's heiress, is she?" I said. "She'll probably marry someone else and take on his family name if she ends up having children at all."

Technically, it was possible for her to get pregnant out of wedlock, like my mom had with me. I didn't know whether her children would be considered Himemiyas in that case, or whether it would be any different from one of Himemiya-san's brothers getting some woman pregnant. Of course, Himemiya-san's eldest brother's children would have the advantage when it came to headship of the family.

"In that case, she will be unable to carry on her family name," Kirishima-san said. "It's then up to her what to do with her life, but I doubt she will have much of an impact on her family."

That was easy for Kirishima-san to say as an outsider, so I decided to put his belief to the test..

"I'd like to propose a hypothetical situation," I said, "in which we assume that you're the eldest son of the respectable Kirishima family. You would likely have little freedom as a child, with almost every spare moment used to groom you into the perfect heir. You would likely be expected to marry a woman from a respectable and/or wealthy family, someone you may not necessarily love. You would then have to have children, preferably at least one boy who could inherit the family. You would have to raise those children as strictly as you yourself were raised, with little room for paternal affection."

Kirishima-san stared at me, as if to ask "Where's the question?" Maybe it was a bad idea to talk about love and marriage, or to act as though I knew what paternal love was (although Kirishima-san probably didn't know about my father). If Kirishima-san agreed with either thought, though, he didn't openly say it.

"Anyway, my question is this," I said. "Is it all worth it?"

"It would be," Kirishima-san said. "I would grow up in relative wealth and comfort. I would eventually become the revered patriarch of the family, and after my death, my children would remember who had raised them and watched over the 'kingdom' they now rule. As long as my children grow up to be good stewards of that kingdom, as do their children and subsequent generations I wll be content."

I didn't hear any mention of love or even duty in Kirishima-san's answer, but one thing was clear. To him, one's legacy was most important, and he had little time for sentimentality. The more I learned about him, the wider the gap between his values and mine grew.

EVENT 3: Kirishima-san concedes that ordinary people can change the world, but doesn't think it's necessarily a good thing.

I talked with Kirishima-san again, and asked about using DNA in paternity testing. He was willing to answer my questions, but most likely never realized why I was interested in that subject.

"On the subject of family, there's someone I'd like to tell you about," I said, "specifically, my maternal grandfather. He never got very good grades, nor did he attend college. Instead, he worked at a car factory for his entire career, fell in love, got married, and raised a woman who grew up to be a teacher- our teacher. When I was fairly young, he retired, and the company replaced him with a younger worker who was willing to work for less. Just after I started middle school, he died of a stroke."

"I see," Kirishima-san said, not even offering a perfunctory "I'm sorry for your loss."

Of course, while Kirishima-san was rather cold, and I wasn't fond of that part of him, I didn't hold his lack of sympathy against him. It was hard to feel anything for someone you'd only just heard about, whose only significance to you was being the relative of an acquaintance (or two, if you counted Mom). If Kirishima-san had told me about his grandfather, I doubt I would have felt much sorrow for the elder Kirishima.

"You'd expect that no one would show up to Grandpa's funeral," I said, "but you'd be wrong. Not only did his wife, daughter and granddaughter- namely me- come to the funeral, but so did many of his friends, their families and other people. He wasn't especially smart or talented, but he had a reputation as a kind, honest and hard-working person. He wasn't famous, but he'd touched many people's lives, and all those people were sad to see him go."

"That... is admirable," Kirishima-san said. "But what will happen once everyone who remembers him is dead?"

"Then I suppose he'll be forgotten," I said, "but if one highly talented person can change the world, it takes millions, billions of hard-working people to keep it going. By combining their strengths, they can also affect change."

"Indeed," Kirishima-san said, "for good or for ill. After all, the chaos that consumed the world was not caused artificially, but was likely the result of many people being consumed by insanity."

As a part of me took offense at Kirishima-san's (admittedly most likely true) assertion, I realized we were gradually swapping our original positions about one talented person versus the ordinary masses. While that wasn't lost on me, I still hoped to continue this line of questioning.

"That may be so," I said, "but what do you suppose is the source of their insanity?"

"I can only hazard a guess," Kirishima-san said, "but people are capable of doing terrible things, often by blindly following another's will. The only question is whether the source of the madness is one individual or many."

That was a question that only political scholars could even try to answer, since even the most charismatic leaders owed their success to favorable political climates. Likewise, the talented students had benefited from circumstances that had helped them foster that talent- free time, access to resources and training, and people who could take notice of them, among others- so perhaps Kirishima-san was luckier than most. But what would Kirishima-san do with his good fortune?

EVENT 4: Kirishima-san believes that by continuing his research, he can leave a lasting legacy.

Kirishima-san and I discussed the legacy some of our classmates might have after their deaths- including the ones who had already died. Kirishima-san could count the number of Ultimates in our class who would influence the future on one hand.

"This is a question that I've been meaning to ask for a while, Kirishima-san," I said, "but while you've been quite open about how other people may be forgotten, what about you? Surely, someone will build on your research, or perhaps make it obsolete."

"I am sure they will," Kirishima-san said, "but if my research laid the groundwork for future advances, I will be satisfied with my accomplishments. Of course, this is only speculation, as such an event will likely only occur after I am dead. Such a pity."

Considering that Kirishima-san didn't hesitate to answer, he hadn't been at all fazed by the question, and considering that his response hadn't been a knee-jerk one, he'd clearly thought it through before.

"How so?" I said.

"I would like to live forever," Kirishima-san said, "or at least have the ability to glimpse into the future after my death. Humanity makes new discoveries all the time, and I would like to see as many as I can."

"Even if you outlive everyone else you know and care about?" I said.

As I said that, I realized that I would probably outlive Mom- she certainly hoped I would. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, though, as both she and I hoped we would eventually reunite with each other and with Dad in Heaven. A part of me still clung the hope of such a heavenly reunion with my parents, as well as Akira-san and the others who'd died in the killing game, even if I wondered whether God existed, or whether He would allow such a reunion.

"Yes," Kirishima-san said. "It would be for the best if they could see these new developments unfold alongside me, but if not, such is life."

For a moment, I wondered if Kirishima-san would deem me one of the people he'd consider worthy to witness the future alongside him, but knew that was wishful thinking. It was just as well, though, since I'd also realized I didn't need his approval; I'd found other people who cared for me.

EVENT 5: I'll probably never truly be friends with Kirishima-san, but I have learned a lot talking with him.

Kirishima-san invited me over to his room. There were a lot of scientific charts up on the wall, even though they might. Since I wasn't very good at science, they might as well have been in a foreign language, and I was fairly sure one of them was in English.

"This may be our last time meeting like this, Nagato-kun," Kirishima-san said, "so I have a few questions for you."

"Go ahead and ask, Kirishima-san," I said.

Kirishima-san nodded.

"My first question is as follows," Kirishima-san said. "Do you believe you understand why I believe Azuki-kun's death was meaningless, but her life was not?"

"I do," I said. "She died senselessly, but her life left behind what you might call a 'legacy' of sorts. To you, that's all that matters."

"Indeed," Kirishima-san said, "and you already answered what would have been my second question. My third and final question is perhaps the most difficult- why continue to spend time with me, even knowing how different our values are?"

I paused to think for a moment.

"I wanted to learn more about you," I said, "to find out whether you saw people as people, or only judged them by the value of their accomplishments, and if possible, try to help you to see things from my perspective. I'm sad to say I didn't succeed."

"People's values do not change easily, Nagato-kun," Kirishima-san said, "since they are the foundation on which all they achieve is built. To use an extreme example, imagine a murderous zealot who believes his god commands him to kill nonbelievers. If he were to question his faith, or even renounce it, he would no longer be able to live with himself after committing so many atrocities for a cause he no longer follows."

Maybe I was over-sensitive, but I suspected that Kirishima-san, who was almost certainly an atheist, had chosen religion as an example due to his disdain for supposedly irrational faith. Despite that, I realized that if I ever lost my faith in God, I would be troubled, but I wouldn't question the life I'd led until now. I'd still try to be a good person according to the Bible's teachings, even if I was no longer a Christian.

"You're not necessarily wrong about people like him," I said, "but I think that people can change. All it takes is the courage to look inside oneself, the wisdom to realize what one must do and the determination to follow through. Sometimes, a catalyst may be necessary for this process to begin, but I don't think it's impossible for it to happen on its own."

"Perhaps," Kirishima-san said, "but I think that there is a fourth component, related to the third- the desire to change. Without that one spark, the process will never began."

"Fair enough," I said. "I suppose that's the difference between us."

I'd always hoped to become a stronger and more confident person, even if I didn't know how, and the only thing I lacked was the determination. My meeting Akira-san had helped provide me with the catalyst for that process to begin, and while I'd always be grateful to her for that, the rest was up to me.

"One more thing," Kirishima-san said as I started to leave. "Regardless of whatever you may accomplish in the future, you have proven worth remembering, as an honest and straightforward person who lives according to her beliefs. Even if few people will remember you, I doubt I will ever forget you."

"Thank you... I guess," I said.

"I meant it," Kirishima-san said. "The best thing you can do to honor someone's memory is to remember them- an act that signifies that out of the countless multitudes you meet, their existence had significance to you. In that way, remembering Azuki-kun is the best thing you can do for her as her friend."

"I will," I said, before bowing in gratitude. "Thank you very much, Kirishima-san."

I got up and politely excused myself. Kirishima-san's values were too different from mine to be friends, but I had enjoyed and learned a lot from talking with him. I promised I'd always remember our conversations, and learn from them as best as I could.

Author's Notes

This FTE chain shows Kirishima's values and how different they are from Nagato's. As you can expect, they don't end up becoming friends.

One aspect that I ended up cutting from Kirishima's backstory was how he was an illegitimate child, which influenced his desire to go into genetics. I couldn't find a good way to incorporate this information.