Chapter 28
Mary Poppins and Bert aren't sure what language they're being yelled at as they climb out of the plane's cargo hold and start running. It definitely isn't English. Judging by the palm trees lining the airport runway, they are somewhere tropical.
"They're shooting at us!" Mary yells as they bolt across the tarmac.
"That's because you're a terrorist, Mary Poppins!" Bert shouts back. "I watched a movie once called The In-Laws. Two of the characters were caught in a similar situation in Tijuana. Do what I tell you, Mary Poppins. Drop and roll!"
"What?" she asks, confused.
"DROP AND ROLL!" Bert yells, throwing himself on the ground. He rolls left and right as bullets fly around him.
"Certainly not!" Mary announces indignantly, hands on her hips. "It will ruin my suit!"
"Better that than lose your head!" Bert shouts as he rolls along the ground.
"Lose my head? Bert, I'm Mary Poppins, the Mary Poppins. I assure you I never lose my head over anything!" Mary sniffs haughtily then adjusts her hat. Moments later, it is taken off her head by a bullet. "Well, maybe this once," she says, dropping to the ground. She rolls back and forth, like Bert, while bullets sail over them.
"We're not safe here, Mary Poppins! We need to make a run for the car!" Bert yells.
"What car?" Raising her head, Mary sees it. There is a small orange Toyota in the distance, unoccupied.
"Make a run for it, Mary Poppins, but don't run in a straight line. Serpentine!" Bert is already on his feet, weaving unsteadily towards the vehicle.
"Serpentine?" Mary doesn't understand Bert's peculiar instructions.
"Yes, Serpentine, woman! Move like a snake. Just like I'm doing. It's the best way to dodge the bullets!"
Bert's path to the car is chaotic. But he hasn't been shot, so Mary Poppins gathers his method is sound. Following his uneven pattern, they eventually reach the car. Luckily, the keys are inside. Unluckily, Mary can't stop thinking about her missing hat. It is lying on the ground about twenty feet away.
"I'll be right back. I need to get my hat," she tells Bert.
"What? No! Mary Poppins, have you lost your mind?" Bert asks.
"No, just my hat," Mary replies. "According to the rule book from The School for the Education of Exceptional Au Pairs, going out without a hat is a scandal. I won't be a moment."
"Serpentine, Mary Poppins!" Bert yells at her through the window.
Mary Poppins follows his advice and weaves to her hat. The gunmen shoot at it, causing it to bounce along the ground. Mary eventually catches up to it and, hat in hand, she serpentines back to the car. "Go!" she says once inside. "And seatbelt on, Bert. We are not a misdemeanant."
"Right," Bert says, putting the car in gear. They speed off the tarmac and onto the main road, but they have failed to escape airport security. They are behind them in their Ford Rangers, with two officers in each cargo bed shooting at the Toyota.
"A spoonful of sugar," Mary sings before popping a mint from her purse into her mouth.
"Jagged Little Pill," Bert sings in return, accepting his own mint.
Fortunately, the road is narrow and all it takes is one bus for Bert and Mary to dodge security. They zigzag around the bus, causing it to swerve and block the road. The officers are unable to continue their pursuit.
Mary and Bert are jubilant. Breaking out into a verse from Jolly Holliday, the car races towards town.
"Where are we?" Mary Poppins asks with concern. Although she is dressed demurely, she does not fit in with the women in their cover-ups and sarongs.
Bert parks the car and peers around. "We are in Banda Aceh, Mary Poppins. Indonesia. Why, we haven't been here for years!"
"Banda Aceh! How wonderful!" Mary Poppins claps her hands. "Do you think Cardamom WellBeing is still open? I would love to see the Panggabean children and have a cup of their father's famous sweet tea. Goodness, Bert, those were the days. All that rebelling. Spoonfuls of sugar flung into tea to give everyone the strength to carry on. It's a wonder Mr. Panggabean managed to keep the shop open in such difficult times. I wonder how young Mr. Andi is getting on with his math."
"That was thirty years ago, Mary Poppins. Young Mr. Andi is now middle-aged Mr. Andi," Bert cautions.
"Pish posh, Bert. Once a student of Mary Poppins always a student of Mary Poppins," she asserts. "Now, where are we? This street looks familiar. There it is! Cardamom WellBeing! Come along, Bert. Let's pop in for a cup and a quick chat."
Bert glances around anxiously. "I'm not sure, Mary Poppins. The police are probably looking for us."
"Looking and finding are not the same thing," Mary says, leaving the car.
Cardamom WellBeing has many tourists, some sipping the Panggabean's famous sweet tea, served as always with a cardamon-flavoured biscuit. It doesn't take Mary long to spot Mr. Panggabean. Now 70, he is as spry as ever in beige khakis, white tennis sneakers, and a colourful Lacoste golf shirt. "Mr. Panggabean!" Mary yells from across the shop.
Everyone falls silent, including Mr. Panggabean. He stares at Mary Poppins, bewildered. This does not stop her from crossing the shop to shake his hand. "It's good to see you, Sir. I'm delighted to find you so well after that unpleasantness all those years ago. Upon being forced to abandon my post as your children's nanny because of that terrible earthquake, I thought your little shop might have been swept away by the tsunami. How delighted I am to find that you're still here. How are the children, Andi and Adelia? Indeed I have missed them."
Mr. Panggabean smiles uneasily. "Miss, I do not know you. But if you would like a cup of tea, I would be happy to make you one."
"Not know me, Mr. Panggabean? How can you not know me? Why, I'm Mary Poppins, the Mary Poppins. I was your children's nanny for almost two years. I taught them how to sing and dance and fly kites. Indeed you knew nothing about sweet tea until I taught you 'A Spoon Full of Sugar'. Did I not help you make your biscuits practically perfect by suggesting you add a pinch of cardamon to your recipe? Not know me, indeed." Mary sits at a table, her nose out of joint.
"Sorry," Bert says to Mr. Panggabean.
It's too late. Mr. Panggabean is already looking for his son. Andi is beside his father in an instant. "Is there a problem, Father? Can I help?"
Mary brightens immediately. "Andi! My goodness, you've grown so tall! Remember me, Mary Poppins? How is your sister, Adelia? Still collecting butterflies?"
"Miss, who are you? I've never seen you before in my life. Is she a crazy woman?" Andi asks Bert.
"Not yet, but she will be if this keeps happening," Bert replies.
Andi disregards this. "Can I get you a cup of sweet tea? It's very good. The cardamom biscuits are a house specialty."
"I know. Did I not help create the recipe?" Mary mutters unpleasantly from her seat.
"Tea for two, if it's no trouble," Bert tells Andi before sitting down. "Don't get upset, Mary Poppins. Without Senor El-Dodo your magic is gone. They don't remember who you are."
"Obviously. ...Bert, this is extremely vexing. We should have our tea and be on our way. The sooner I find Senor el-Dodo, the better," Mary Poppins says.
"Did you get your travel vaccines before coming here?" an elderly couple asks from the next table.
"What?" Mary Poppins has no idea what they're talking about.
"For Hep A and Hep B? Myrtle here got the yellow fever vaccine, but I don't think the mosquitoes are bad this year. It doesn't hurt to be careful, though, especially if you're drinking the local brew. Who knows what's in the water." The fellow and his wife share a laugh.
Mary Poppins is unimpressed. "Kind sir, I know the Panggabean family and I assure you there's nothing in the water other than the finest Indonesian tea, cream, and some sugar to help it go down."
"You need that alright," the fellow says, chortling as he sips his tea. He puts the cup down and grimaces.
"Bert, I can't listen to this," Mary whispers. "If you will excuse me, I must go to the ladies room to compose myself."
"Do you need help finding it, Mary Poppins? I don't like letting you off on your own," Bert offers.
"Bert, I may be losing my mind, but I can assure you my sense of direction is completely intact." Standing, Mary disappears through a door leading to the back of the shop.
"Oh, hello," she says to the four children in the next room. They are younger versions of Andi and Adelia.
"Hello. Who are you?" they ask shyly.
"Why, I'm Mary Poppins, the Mary Poppins. You must be Mr. Panggabean's grandchildren," she assumes.
They nod and smile. The oldest one, a boy, says: "Andi Panggabean is our father."
Mary knows this already. The boy is the spitting image of Andi when he was that age. "Of course he is. Do you know I was your father's nanny when he was as old as you?"
The children shake their heads, surprised. "Father never said he had a nanny."
"Well, it was a while ago. He and your Aunt Adelia and myself went on many adventures together, with the help of my magic umbrella, which I've lost. But that's not your concern. Tell me, what are you doing?" Mary glances at the kitchen table. It's covered with bowls and baking ingredients. Each child is dusted in flour, utensil in hand.
"We're rolling out dough for our father. We come here after school to help Father make cardamom biscuits for the next day so he doesn't have to work late," a young girl answers. Rolling the dough into logs, she passes them to her sister to slice into circles. Another brother places them on baking sheets before sliding them in the oven.
"You're good children to help your father like this," Mary tells them. "And I can see from the amount of dough that it's exhausting work. But as I say, in every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. Would you like to sing a song?"
"Sing?" the children ask.
"Of course!" Mary Poppins returns. "Not just sing, but dance and sing. Work can be fun, especially if you laugh a little. Which reminds me:
I love to laugh
Loud and long and clear
I love to laugh
it's getting worse every year.
The children giggle as Mary sings. Eventually, they join her and dance around the kitchen, waving utensils in the air. Bowls of flour are flung carelessly about as they go:
The more I laugh, the more I fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more I'm a merrier me, it's embarrassing
The more I'm a merrier me.
Soon flour is everywhere, as are the children. One is dancing on the counter, while another one is on the table, stomping on dough. The other two are throwing food at each other in the middle of Cardamon Wellbeing's pristine kitchen. No one notices the growing mess.
The elder Mr. Panggabean and his son notice it, however, upon entering the kitchen. They are flabbergasted as they watch Mary Poppins trip the light fantastic, children singing and laughing with her.
"What is going on in here!" Andi Panggabean yells.
Mary and the children fall silent. Metal bowls and utensils are dropped, clattering on the floor. Bert runs into the kitchen, too, wondering what the commotion is about. He is as shocked as the Panggabean men at seeing the chaos.
Mary smiles, oblivious to their anger. "Mr. Panggabean, Andi, the children and I were singing and dancing, like we used to do when you were their age. Don't you remember? In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun?"
Judging by the look on his face, Andi thinks Mary Poppins is mad. "Lady, I have no idea who you are. I have never met you in my life. What kind of fun is there in cleaning up such a mess? Look what you've done to my father's kitchen! There's flour everywhere. It will take days to clean this up." The elder Mr. Panggabean is distraught. He is beyond words and wipes a tear from his eye.
"I never thought about it like that. You have my apologies, Andi. But I am certain we can clean up the mess quickly. Again we can have fun as we work. I will sing you a song, if you like," Mary says, still smiling.
Andi tosses his hands in the air, exasperated. "For God's sake, no more singing! Get out of my kitchen! Look at my poor father. He is weeping! Leave now, and take your friend with you!"
Andi Panggabean and his father shoo Mary and Bert out of the kitchen and the shop, the children following behind. Everyone pours out into the street, workers and patrons alike, wondering what the argument is about. Mary and the Panggabean men continue to share heated words, Bert standing nearby for moral support. That is until he notices uniformed men gathering in the distance. "Mary Poppins, we best be going," he says quickly.
Mary disregards this. "Not now, Bert. I'm still trying to convince Andi and Mr. Panggabean that I meant no harm in messing up their kitchen. I would be glad to clean it up if they would let me do it."
"Not now, Mary Poppins. Seriously, we need to go." Bert can't believe his eyes. One of the officers is loading a bazooka onto his shoulder.
"For goodness sake, Bert. What's the matter with you?" Mary follows his gaze. Indeed everyone on the street does so. Upon realizing what is about to happen, they flee in every direction. Soon after, a small rocket sails into Cardamom Wellbeing. It's blasted to smithereens.
Mr. Panggabean sobs uncontrollably. His son Andi is screaming, hands on his head. "Look what you've done, woman! You've blown up Cardamom Wellbeing. My father's teashop has survived a rebellion, an earthquake, even a tsunami, only to be taken down by Mary Poppins. Forgive me, the Mary Poppins!"
Mary adjusts her hat. "Right. Bert, maybe it is time to go. Goodbye Mr. Panggabean, Andi, Panggabean children. It was a pleasure seeing you all."
She and Bert start a fast trot down the road, occasionally looking over their shoulders. "I thought you were going to the bathroom," Bert says.
"So did I. Then I saw the Panggabean children and they reminded me of Andi and Adelia so much that I thought it was a wonderful occasion for a song," Mary returns.
"Not so much," Bert says, running towards the port. The military is fast upon their heels, shouting and shooting at them.
"Bert, where on earth are we going?" Mary is unnerved. The open sea is looming before them.
"I have no idea," Bert answers. That's until he spots a boat. "Look, Mary Poppins, it's a cruise ship. Let's hop on!"
Mary stops in her tracks. This particular ship bears no resemblance to Admiral Boom's frigate that he commanded in the Boer War. Indeed that was a charming ship. Mary and the Banks children enjoyed visiting it every chance they got. This ship is big and modern and it's called The Monte Carlo. "I don't think so, Bert. I don't like the water much, if you remember. Which is why I carry an umbrella with me at all times."
"Oh, hell's bells, Mary Poppins. Will you get on the damn boat before you get us killed? Your umbrella is why we're here, remember? We're off to find it in Nepal, which we'll never get to unless we leave this bloody island!" Bert is standing on a plank leading to the bowels of the ship. Dockworkers are busy loading crates and they pay no attention to he and Mary Poppins, who are about to become stowaways, once again.
"Thank you, Bert, but I don't think so. I'll wait for the next boat, if it's alright with you." Mary is unnerved by the guns discharging in the distance. Watching for the military, she doesn't feel the papaya on the back of her head, knocking her out.
Bert apologizes as she falls into his arms. "Sorry, Mary Poppins, but you're giving me no choice. Like it or not, you're getting on this ship."