Sitting in the Potter's drawing room, Sirius tried to put on the best smile he could but his mind kept drifting somewhere else. To her. He pushed the thought as far away in his mind as he could and concentrated on why James and Lily had asked for him to come over.

"It's not long before the baby is born," James started, glancing towards Lily, who smiled and nodded. "And we have something to ask you."

"Me?" Sirius inquired, his brows furrowing together.

"Yes," Lily answered with a nod. She extended her hand towards Sirius's hand with a smile. "Would you do us the honour of being our baby's godfather?"

Sirius's jaw dropped to the floor, and he froze in his place. 'Did I hear that correctly?' he asked himself. "Me?" he breathed, still unable to move a single muscle in his body as a lump formed at the back of his throat.

"Yes, if you want, because it would mean so much to both of us," James grinned, his eyes gleaming.

"How could I ever refuse?" Sirius's voice wobbled, a tear dropping to his cheek that he quickly wiped away, "Of course!" he exclaimed.

"Are you crying?" Lily jested, giving Sirius's hand a light squeeze.

"No!" Sirius lied, wiping away the tears that were cascading down his cheeks.

For the first time in what seemed like eternity, the three of them laughed wholeheartedly and with genuine happiness filling their hearts. Without any other thought occupying their minds, other than the common love for the child that was going to be born in a few months.

The happiness, however, was short lived; which seemed like a trend in their lives. It wasn't long before Dumbledore arrived at the Potter's doorstep with McGonagall to inform of the news no one would like to hear for their child.

"My baby?" Lily asked, tears blurring her vision, her hands automatically wrapped around her bump in a protective manner.

"We don't think you-know-who will make a move as quickly until after the birth of the baby, waiting to see if he is actually born in July," Professor McGonagall tried to calm Lily, but no matter her words, she knew it was useless. Voldemort had decided that the Prophecy was about her child.

"Lily, we haven't just brought bad news, we come with a solution," Professor Dumbledore said calmly.

Lily and James exchanged glances and James wrapped his arm around Lily's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

"I don't have any problem being your secret keeper," Sirius whispered, as James and he stood in the hallway, "But I am too obvious."

"Then should I ask Moony?" James questioned; the worry lines never seemed to disappear from his face.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed, shaking his head.

"Why not?"

"Prongs I know you trust Moony but –"

"Padfoot you are joking, right?"

"No, I am not."

"Moony can't be a – spy. It's Moony!"

"Nothing would make me happier than knowing I am wrong but there is no way to know, so don't put your family in danger like that and just be cautious."

"Then who do you think? Dumbledore? He offered too."

"Definitely not! The last thing you need is a favour from him."

"You suggest then."

"Wormtail."

"Wormtail?"

"Yes, he is the last person anyone would suspect and go after, so you won't be putting him in any sort of danger, besides you know he needs it," Sirius sighed, shaking his head.

"He loved Olivia, didn't he?" James shuddered to think that his best friend had lost the woman he loved.

"I thought Slytherins were safe, but apparently not," Sirius said, huffing loudly.

"It's because she was associated with an Order member," James shrugged.

"But she wasn't an Order member herself, and Peter isn't even that deeply involved with the Order," Sirius had his lips set in a straight line.

"You either stand with you-know-who or stand against him and get killed, there is no in between," James said, his brows knitted together in frustration.

"I have no idea how Wormtail is holding up," Sirius crossed his hands in front of his chest.

"Have you seen him? It is breaking him, I am afraid he might do something stupid," James said, his lips turning upside down in a frown.

"This is why I have asked him to come here, and let him be your secret keeper, he needs it, he needs to feel that he is important enough to not do something stupid," Sirius placed his hand on James's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

"But Dumbledore would be casting the spell tonight, and he doesn't know we changed the secret keeper," James said, pushing his glasses back.

"Don't tell him, don't tell anyone. Let them think it is me and that way we know Peter is safe."

The Order was meeting on 30th July 1980 when the news of the birth of Neville Longbottom – Alice and Frank Longbottom's son – arrived. It was assumed that the prophecy was after all about the young infant son of the Longbottom's rather than the Potter's child who showed no signs of arriving.

Sirius wondered if it made him a terrible human for feeling relieved that his godchild won't be a target after all if he arrived on 1st August, something which seemed more plausible now. After all, it has to be terrible twist of fate for his godchild to arrive on the last day of the seventh month.

Sirius in his opinion was holding up just fine until a certain blonde arrived. He reluctantly tore his gaze away from her as tears started to blur his vision. It was no secret that they had parted ways. Sirius had been a constant presence in her life the weeks following their fall out, but Marlene had shut him off, eventually falling off the radar for him as her family moved away. His only chance of meeting her was during the Order's meeting, which she scarcely attended, always away on Order's missions.

"Don't chase after her," he was advised by Caradoc Dearborn, who often accompanied Sirius during Order's missions. "She isn't wrong to protect her family."

"Do you believe it has something to do with my association with her?" Sirius asked the senior wizard about the danger the McKinnon's were put in and Marlene's brother's demise.

"I wouldn't put it past the blood purity fanatics to see it that way, and I believe it is better safe than sorry," Caradoc shrugged, "But I am sorry that it has come to this."

"But she is in the Order anyway," Sirius mumbled, trying to find any excuse to continue pursuing Marlene.

"Yes, which is why she doesn't need the extra attention on her," Caradoc told Sirius firmly, "And you both are young, once the war ends, you can find your way back to her."

Sirius stopped actively trying to pursue her after that, but it still wasn't enough to completely stop. The final nail in the coffin was the death of Peter Pettigrew's girlfriend Olivia. She was the embodiment of a safe person in the war, she was a pure-blood, talented witch, sorted into the Slytherin house; the only problem was her association with Peter. When neither of them let go of each other, Olivia was murdered in cold blood, her body missing ever since. That started a new wave of family members, friends and loved ones getting murdered to target and slow down the Order.

So, when Marlene started walking towards Sirius after the meeting, Sirius tore himself from the chair he was sitting on and excused himself as quickly as he could. His heart pounding loudly in his head.

"Sirius," Marlene called out, as Sirius turned towards the hallway of the Order's headquarter house.

'KEEP WALKING!' Sirius mentally shouted at himself, but his body had come to a halt long ago. He gulped in hard and turned around, avoiding Marlene's gaze.

"How is Lily – and James?" Marlene asked, her voice low.

"They're fine," Sirius mumbled. Marlene had been out of contact with Lily ever since the two wizards went into hiding. Only a few people had been in contact with them, that list included Sirius.

"How are you?" Marlene asked after a long pause.

"Why are you asking me that?" Sirius questioned back, he immediately wanted to slap himself. He allowed himself to look at Marlene and the way she flinched; it was clear that she was taken aback.

"I know you are angry and I am sorry," Marlene said, fidgeting with her fingers as she looked at the ground and then back at Sirius.

Sirius balled his fists to his side, resisting the urge to take Marlene's hands in his own and kiss her once again. She looked vulnerable and devastated. The dark circles under her eyes kept getting prominent and Sirius wanted to ask her if she hasn't been taking care of herself properly and if not, why.

"I am not angry," Sirius said, his voice flat and emotionless. He turned around and rushed out of the headquarter. He knew he had to get as far away from her as possible, because that was the only way he could stop himself from holding her in his arms.

31st July 1980 marked the birth of Harry James Potter and without a doubt the baby had instantly captured everyone's heart around him. The first time Sirius held his godson in his arms, he couldn't help as tears continuously cascaded down his cheeks. 'I would die protecting you,' Sirius silently promised Harry and himself. He was over the moon with the arrival of his godson but also devastated at the same time. It enraged him that this tiny human's whole life was going to be ruled by some stupid prophecy, one he wasn't even aware of.

"Prongslet is the most adorable baby I've ever met," Sirius cooed, holding baby Harry close to himself.

"Prongslet?" Lily scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, since James is Prongs, his son is going to be Prongslet," Sirius shrugged, making Lily snicker. "Don't worry, when you have a girl, we'll call her flower," Sirius jested.

"How original," Lily jested back.

"If you don't like that, you can put your faith in my abilities to find a better nickname for her by the time she arrives, for now I will be calling this one Prongslet," Sirius said, grinning from ear to ear.

Harry had Sirius wrapped around his fingers the moment he arrived. If need be, Sirius would throw himself under a train to make Harry smile. So, it was only natural that Sirius was jealous when Moony or Wormtail would hold Harry, he would constantly nag about how hard they were rocking the baby or if they were holding him too tight. When Harry smiled at Sirius for the first time (even though Lily told him it wasn't really a smile, just a reflex), the dam gates flooded open, and something similar happened when Harry held Sirius's finger for the first time with his tiny hand.

"Why are you crying?" Lily chuckled softly as she watched Sirius leaning over Harry's crib.

"He's so tiny," Sirius answered between his sobs.

"Well, he'll grow," Lily smiled, walking inside the nursery to see Harry fast asleep, holding Sirius's index finger. "Aren't you uncomfortable bending like that?"

"A little," Sirius sniffed, "But if I move, he'll wake up."

"Are you planning to stay that way for the whole night?" Lily asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"I would, for Prongslet," Sirius replied, smiling as he looked at Harry sleeping peacefully.

Lily chuckled, "Do you want me to help you?"

"Are you sure he won't wake up?"

"No, he won't wake up."

"And he won't cry? Because I would hate myself if he cried because I couldn't stay still."

"No, he won't, I promise," Lily whispered, as she drew small circles on Harry's chubby hands and his grip immediately loosened on Sirius's finger, who reluctantly withdrew his hand.

When Sirius was sent on a mission right after Harry's christening, he couldn't focus much on the mission at all, which resulted in a disaster. Not only had they lost a young auror but Sirius and Caradoc were injured brutally, the Death Eaters still tailing them, among them were the Lestrange brothers and Sirius's cousin Bellatrix. Hiding in the Knockturn Alley, Sirius trying to get a hold of his rapid breathing, looking at Caradoc, who was hiding behind a small shop, a few feet away from Sirius.

"We know you're here – hiding," Bellatrix's sing-a-song voice bloomed through the street, "but not for long."

Sirius tried to move, but his injured leg sent a wave of pain throughout his whole body and he had to supress his groan. He bit his hand and closed his eyes, as his tears mixed with the sweat dripping down his face.

"We have to move," Caradoc mouthed, and Sirius's brows furrowed together in anguish.

"Come out now cousin, let's talk, we have so much to discuss," Bellatrix's shoes clicked against the pavement. Sirius tried to gather his courage to move. "Let's talk about – what was her name? Marlene McKinnon?" Sirius froze in his place, blood draining from his face.

"I wonder what should I do with her?" Bellatrix continued, "Should I slice open her whole family in front of her eyes? Or would it be better if she watched her family wither in pain while I use Cruciatus Curse?"

Sirius's heart was pounding in his chest, his hands shaking as he finally stood up, limping on his right leg, pain shooting up in his left one. His mouth went dry at Bellatrix's threats. Having grown up together, he knew Bellatrix wasn't the one for giving ideal threats.

"Or Should I teach you a lesson too? For ruining our reputation like that! I would tear her to pieces in front of your eyes before you watch the Dark Lord kill that baby!" Bellatrix shouted, her footsteps coming to a stop.

Sirius clenched his jaw tightly, pulling out his wand, he could feel his ragged breath as rage boiled in the pit of his stomach. His eyes narrowed and he almost jumped out from where he was hiding, no longer focusing on the pain, but on Bellatrix's words when he caught sight of Caradoc's panicked face.

"Don't," Caradoc mouthed, shaking his head aggressively. "Dissapparate."

"WATCH ME KILL THAT BIT –" Bellatrix shouted as she set of a blasting curse towards the shop in front of Sirius, who dissaparated just in time to avoid getting hit by any debris of the collapsing establishment, the dust filling his lungs and eyes.

Two days later, the loud knock on his front door startled him in the evening. He was still recovering from his injury and the threats from his cousin. He had decided that if he could keep himself away from Marlene and Marlene away from himself, he would win half the battle and somehow if he could ask someone to convince her to drop off the radar completely and go into hiding with her family, they all could be safe.

He picked up his wand and made way towards the front door. Keeping his wand ready in his hand, he opened the front door and the wind was knocked from his lungs when his eyes met the beautiful, teary blue eyes.

"I am sorry, I had to come when I heard you were injured," Marlene whispered, her brows furrowed together.

"It's not safe, come inside," Sirius said, limping as he moved aside for Marlene to join him inside. He closed the door as Marlene entered his house and turned to face her.

"Are you still in pain?" Marlene asked, her voice barely a whisper, her eyes studying the almost healed wound on Sirius's cheekbone and then the rest of his body.

"Yes," Sirius's voice was steady, his eyes studying her face. 'Keep a grip on yourself,' Sirius reminded himself.

"You should sit down," Marlene said, extending her hand towards Sirius, who immediately withdrew his hand, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Why are you here?" Sirius asked, pursing his lips.

"I needed to know if you were alright," Marlene mumbled in response, looking at Sirius from under her lashes.

"If I was alive?" Sirius scoffed, his heart clenching when Marlene's eyes grew slightly wider.

"Yes," Marlene answered after a pause, her lips pressed together as she gulped in hard.

"I am alive," Sirius shrugged nonchalantly.

"And I couldn't push a thought away," Marlene mumbled, blinking her eyes and looking away.

"What is that?" Sirius couldn't help but ask. He immediately closed his eyes for a brief second, mentally cursing himself for not remaining indifferent.

"That – if something happened to you – I don't want what I said to you to be the last words I ever told you and for you to think that I don't care about you or that I hate you," Marlene said, and Sirius's lower lip trembled, a lump forming at the back of his throat.

When Sirius remained mum, Marlene continued, "I want you to know that – I love you."

Sirius's heart skipped a beat and he almost gave up his façade – almost. The butterflies in his stomach returned and the hollowness suddenly seemed to disappear.

"I am sorry for being an idiot, I am so sorry for leaving you like that but I haven't spent a single day not thinking about you and not missing you and thinking how terribly I messed up," Marlene said, her eyes glistening with tears, "and I want you to know I still love you."

'I wish you didn't, I wish you just thought I was stopping you because my family meant something to me after all. I wish you thought I was a Black after all,' Sirius thought, but he collected himself before his emotions overtook him, he had to.

"And now I know," he replied in a stoic tone, moving away from the front door, gesturing for Marlene to leave.

"Have I lost you?" Marlene asked, her pleading eyes looked at Sirius and his heart dropped to his stomach, nails digging in his palm.

"Lost me?" Sirius asked, ready to deliver the final blow, "No, you never had me."

Marlene let out an audible gasp, her face falling as a tear rolled down her cheek. Her brows furrowed together, she bit her lower lip so hard, it almost turned white. "What do you mean?" her voice wobbled.

"Look, you were beautiful and easy, I enjoyed you but that was all," Sirius lied, trying to keep his voice as neutral as he could.

"You love me," Marlene shook her head, as more tears streamed down her cheeks, and Sirius let out an irritable sigh.

"Love? I am not the commitment type. I enjoy people for a while and that was that, I've had many flings, and you were beautiful and fun to chase," Sirius chuckled, but the hollowness was already returning.

"You said we'd be together forever," Marlene's voice cracked, as she wiped her tears away.

"Would you have agreed to date me if I said I was only in it for fun? C'mon, you're a sensible girl, you ought to know better. Besides, I hoped you would break up with me eventually and I was thankful when you did – at first I wasn't because I've never had someone reject me, but in the long run I thought it was for the best, after all I wouldn't have you chasing after me since you are the one who left. But then, you started doing just that – using James and Lily as an excuse to get back with me and trying to make small talks, even though I precisely tried to avoid you, but you just couldn't take a hint," Sirius ranted, digging in his nails deeper into his palm as he tried to subdue the anger towards himself engulfing him, he watched Marlene's face break in despair.

"I've never felt love – maybe it has something to do with my genes," Sirius pretended to give it a thought, "But I love the perks of being in a relationship. You know I've never had a relationship longer than what we had, right? Is that what made you think you're special?" Sirius asked, he wanted to cry, a dull ache started to rise at the back of his head.

"You know what people say about you?" Marlene asked, her face twisted in disgust, her nose scrunched. "They say, Sirius Black is charming, yes, but underneath all his charm he is heartless and pathetic," she spat back, tears burning her eyes.

"I am," Sirius replied, a small smile forming on his lips.

Marlene pushed past Sirius and yanked open the door, looking over her shoulder, she spoke in a low voice, "I would rather kill myself than come back to you." The loud thud of the door vibrated through Sirius's heart, his hand reached for the doorknob and he almost went after Marlene, but he stopped himself.

Pressing his back against the front door, he slid down to sit on the ground. His head in his hands, he let out a loud scream, unable to hold back the pent-up frustration, punching the wall right by the door repeatedly until his knuckles turned red and raw.

A/N: Hey Readers,

A huge shout out to AleBlu95 for your review as always! Sorry I was going to update sooner, but it was my birthday 2 days ago so I took a break! I hope all of you enjoy this chapter! To all my silent readers, I hope you leave a review and let me know what you think. Hit that follow and favourite button if you like the story!

Thanks!

-JT