Bella
"All you need is for somebody to find you." Rosalie sighed. "I'm glad we found Bella when we did. I don't want to imagine what would've happened if we hadn't gotten there in time." said Rosalie. "Emmett and I had just arrived at the party. We talked to some friends for a few minutes before deciding to put our jackets in the sun room. As we got closer to the room and away from the crowd, we could hear some commotion. It wasn't until we entered the room that we realized what was happening."
"What was your first reaction?" Ms. Waters asked.
"Disgust." Rose sneered at Jacob. "And worry for Bella. She was curled up in a ball, shaking like a scared animal. At first I was afraid that we were too late- Jacob had already assaulted Bella. Emmett quickly subdued Jacob and I called the police. Ten minutes later they arrived and took Bella away. I couldn't ride with her in the ambulance but Emmett did. I met them shortly after at the hospital."
Ms. Waters paces back and forth. "I'm aware that you've had some personal experiences with abuse and sexual assault. From what you saw that night, is it fair to say that Isabella's been through an ordeal?"
My head snaps up. Rosalie looks away from me and at Emmett. They gazed into each others so lovingly that I had to look away. This was their private moment. Emmett gave a brief nod.
"That's right." she sighed. "My dad physically abused my mother for the first ten years of our life. He was constantly drunk and would get angry about the simplest of things. There were times when my mother's face was so badly bruised that she couldn't leave the house for weeks. We played the perfect family in public but in reality it was an actual nightmare. To the world, we had everything we could ever want. My mom was a housewife and my dad was lawyer. They were in a loving relationship and had the two perfect children."
"But that was all a lie." Ms. Waters sighed. "Did you ever tell anybody what was happening?"
"We couldn't. He threatened to kill all of us and if anything ever happened to my mom or brother then I'd never forgive myself." her voice trembled. Her eyes watered with tears but didn't spill over. "My father never put a hand on my brother and I because my mom wouldn't let him. She took all the abuse for us. It was finally on my tenth birthday the police were called. My dad had been drinking during the party and started beating my mom in a blind rage in front of everyone. People stopped him before he could go to far and was arrested. That's when everything came to light. Everyone knew the truth.
We moved from Atlanta to Forks a year later and settled down. My mom went back to college and got a degree in interior design and fell in love with my now- amazing father. I met the Swans and the Cullens and if it wasn't for their love and friendship then I'm not sure if I'd even be here today." a breathy laugh escaped her lips. She was crying happy tears.
"After the party at La Push, Alice Cullen and I brought her back to her house. Bella had thrown up all over herself so we decided to put her in the bath. When we removed her clothes, her skin was covered in bruises. I immediately knew what was going on. I had gotten the feeling that she wasn't as comfortable around me so I told Emmett what we had seen- hoping he could get some information out of her, but she adamantly refused to talk about any of it. I knew what she was feeling. I knew how terrified of retaliation she was. I had been her at one point. She was spiraling out of control and we could do nothing to stop it."
ooOoo
"After being in the psychiatric hospital, Bella moved in with the Cullens. Dr. Cullen was trained to take care of her in ways neither my father or myself could. It was the best option at the time." Emmett mumbled.
"Why was she in the psychiatric ward?" asked the lawyer.
"My sister attempted suicide." He lets out a shaky breath. "I didn't know how much pain she was in. Her own brother couldn't even help her. I was supposed to be there for her. She wouldn't even let me visit her at the hospital- that's how embarrassed she was. That's what this monster made her feel." Emmett growled at Jacob.
"Having known Jacob for a long time, are you surprised at these accusations?"
"I never liked him." Emmett said. "Bella couldn't see it but Jacob was always possessive of her. He didn't like her talking to anyone else besides him and Angela. He got really jealous whenever she was around Edward Cullen. I tried to tell Bella when we were younger but she wouldn't listen to me. She still never listens to me." Emmett cracked a small smile. "It was my job to look out for her and I failed."
You didn't fail. You could never fail.
"Tell us about your family life." Ms. Waters said.
"My parents separated last year. They'd been fighting for years and it was only a matter of time. Sometimes it felt like I was the only adult in the house. My mom wasn't that great with kids and wasn't the type of person to settle down with a family- she was always on the go. My dad was constantly at work and the few times we were together was for dinner. It was always me that looked out for Bella. Don't get me wrong- I love my dad but there was always so much tension and arguments. It was suffocating living with them."
"What about your mom?" the lawyer raised her eyebrows.
Emmett clenched his jaw. "I could care less about her. Mothers are supposed to love and care for their children no matter what but she did the exact opposite. She refused to believe that her own daughter was raped and never even attempted to visit her once in the hospital. She didn't even tell her that she and my dad were separating. We've called her several times but have heard nothing back. A good mother would've been on the first plane back." Emmett was shaking in rage. Sue and Charlie gripped onto each other's hands. I didn't dare look at them because we were all thinking the same thing. Only Emmett was brave enough to say it out loud.
"So you feel that there's always been a lack of parental figure in your household- that Bella really didn't have anyone else to turn to besides yourself?"
Emmett nods his head- deliberately avoiding my father's gaze. "Things are a little better now since my dad has gotten together with Sue. Unlike my mother, she cares for us, that much is obvious. Sue has made an effort to get to know us and help Bella in anyway possible. That's what a real mother should be like."
"Thank you Mr. Swan, that'll be all for now."
I grab onto Rosalie's hand and she squeezes back. I'm not alone. These people love me. Emmett loves me. I'm not alone.
ooOoo
"There was nobody Bella could really turn too. As said earlier, all of her friends left her at school and her parents weren't really in the picture. The overwhelming feeling of abandonment and constant threat of abuse clouded her thoughts. She couldn't think clearly and that lead her to believe that she truly had no one she could trust." Victoria said.
"In your experience working with trauma victims, are these behaviors common?" said the lawyer.
"Everybody reacts to trauma differently. Bella has gone through a chronic trauma having been repeatedly assaulted. In Bella's case, she has tried to block out the memories of the abuse by drinking. Drinking and drugs is a common way to numb the mind. The more she did it, the easier it was to appear normal."
"So you're saying her behavior is normal?"
"I-I wouldn't say normal-" Victoria paused. "It's typical. She has PTSD which is most common in victims. That can explain the fear and depression and increased anxiety. People will try anything to be whole again that they'll block out the initial problem until they just… explode."
Ms. Waters nods her head and looks down at her notebook. "What about acting out sexually? If she was raped then why would she want to have sex with Edward Cullen?"
"It all goes back to the point of trying to reclaim control of her life." Victoria sighed. "Isabella was taken advantage of in a very vulnerable way and she just wants to be like any other teen. She wants to have that connection with a boy and asserting her dominance in the relationship is one way she can earn back what was taken from her. Many victims want to retain that feeling of normalcy in their lives."
"So you're saying that by expressing her sexual desires, it was a… coping mechanism?"
Victoria nodded her head. "Yes, that's correct. It's meant to be a coping mechanism but usually backfires. It's just doing more damage to their health."
"Is that what happened when Isabella had a psychotic break?"
"Exactly." Victoria folds her hands in her lap and sits up straight. "Her body may have healed since the attack but she wasn't mentally ready to be that intimate with another person, even someone she trusted. The level of intimacy became to much for her which caused her to react as if it was Jacob she was with. The very act of lying in bed with Edward Cullen was enough to trigger a panic attack which lead to a full on psychotic break. Her behavior that night over April break was due to the flashbacks and she couldn't tell between what was real and in her mind."
I paled and sunk down in the seat. Why did they have to bring this up? I didn't need everyone to know how crazy I was. Victoria promised it would stay between us- she promised. My hands clenched into fists. I don't understand how Rosalie could be so calm. She sat next to me as still as possible. She never reacted to anything. Her expression was always neutral. It's like nothing affected her.
"Take deep breathes." she whispered in my ear. My chest was rising up and down and my leg wouldn't stop trembling. I was about to combust. Everyone thought that I was crazy. I was an unstable mess.
"No one thinks your crazy-"
She must have read my mind.
"I am here for you and so is Emmett and your dad and everyone in this room." she wrapped her arm around my shoulders. I leaned into her and released a shaky breathe.
ooOoo
Emmett and Rosalie were both able to confirm what Angela had said. Jacob lied about that day on the beach. Even Sam Uley and Embry Call turned on Jacob at last second. They had no credible testimonies and their story was falling apart.
I knew Jacob was getting nervous now. The judges were deciding the verdict. It had been two hours of waiting and I could feel my stomache turning. Everyone had gone to a cafe across the street from the courthouse but I couldn't eat. How long wa deciding a verdict supposed to take? How much longer would they make us wait?
"Bella you need to eat." Emmett gave me the second half of his sandwich.
"I'm not hungry." I gulped.
Emmett, Rosalie, and I were sitting at one table while Charlie, Sue, Esme, Carlisle, and Victoria were at a different one. Victoria thought that we should all have some space away from each other. I needed space to calm down.
"They'll call dad when they want us back. For now, you should try to relax and eat something-"
"Why would it take this long?" I ignore him. "It's been two hours, something must be wrong."
I lean my elbows on the table and cover my face with my hands. I needed to do something. I don't know what but I had to keep my mind occupied or I was going to go crazy.
"I don't know." Rose sighed. "Trials can be tricky sometimes. Some take shorter and others take longer to decide."
"How long did it take with your dad's trial?" I blurt out.
Emmett slams the glass down on the table. My face burns bright red? Rose all but chokes on her cup of coffee. Why couldn't I ever keep my mouth shut?
"Isabella!" my brother hisses. "You don't say stuff like that-"
"I'm sorry-!" I don't know what else to say.
"It's alright." she regains her composure. Rose gives Emmett a look with her eyes, telling him- I'm ok.
"It took two days at my dad's trial." she sighed. "It was much more big and complicated though so that might have had something to do with it."
Two days?! I couldn't wait two days. I couldn't even wait two hours. How much longer was this gonna be? They've probably already decided and are just torturing us now. They want to make us wait until the last possible moment when they declare Jacob innocent and he walks free. That's probably what was gonna happen-
All of our heads snap up at the sound of a phone- it's Charlie's. He motions for us to get up. The jury has reached a verdict.
We make our way back to the courtroom and sit down. My nails dig into my wrist and I look down at my crossed ankles. I close my eyes and count backwards from ten.
Deep breaths, Bella. Don't freak out.
I don't hear what happens next. One moment I'm in the chair and the next, Lucy has her arms wrapped around my body. There are cries of anguish and happy tears.
"... we did it Bella!" Lucy exclaims. "We won!"
All I can do is look around in shock. Sue and Charlie are embraced in each others arms. Emmett has the biggest smile I've ever seen and Rosalie gives me a look saying- we did it- no- I did it.
I run to the people closest and am suddenly surrounded by the warmth of Carlisle and Esme. I let myself break down and cry. I let myself feel all the anguish and pain and heartbreak and hopelessness. Right now was my time. Nobody was going to take that away from me.
ooOoo
Jacob was sentenced to twenty years. I was disappointed at first, hearing the sentence. I wanted longer- he deserved longer. He only has to suffer twenty years while I have to live with his actions the rest of my life. How is that possibly fair? I'm the one with the life sentence.
"Don't let him take away anymore of your life." Esme whispered to me two days ago. "You are free to live your life. I want to see all your dreams come true. I want you to be happy."
Esme was right. I deserved to be happy. I wanted to be happy. For the first time in a while, I felt like I could actually breathe. I didn't have to live in constant fear. By the time he's out of jail, I'll be far away. He won't be able to reach me.
"Were you relieved?" I ask Rose.
We were sitting in her car in my driveway. I didn't want to get out yet. She had taken to picking me up after school. Emmett had just gotten a temporary job teaching youth football so it worked out for all of us. She's only here for another couple days though.
"Relieved about what?" she turned to me.
"When your dad went to jail. Did you feel any different?" I softly ask.
Rose told me everything after the trial. She told me about her abusive father and how she would cry herself to sleep every night, and pray for a guardian angel, which my brother had become for her. She portrayed the perfect popular wealthy girl but was breaking on the inside.
Nobody was as perfect as they seemed. Nobody had a perfect life.
"Not really no." she said after a few moments. "Yes, it was a relief that he was out of our lives but I still had the fear and anxiety. I still had the flashbacks of him hitting my mother. I couldn't even stand the smell of alcohol. I would break down in fright if I saw someone drinking."
"You drink now though." I cocked my head to the side.
"It took a while for me learn that drinking didn't always have to be a bad thing. It was a lot of therapy and support groups." she places her hand on top of mine. "The danger is no longer physically near but it's always on your mind."
"How did you survive? How could you just m-move on?" my voice broke towards the end. Tears burned in my eyes.
"I still struggle with the memories every single day." her voice raises an octave. "The trauma will always be apart of you but you can't let it define you. That is no way to live your life."
My lips quiver and I bite down on my bottom lip. My chest heaved up and down and heart raced to the beat of a drum. I turn my head to the side and press my forehead against the window. A sob caught in my throat and I squeezed my eyes shut. I could feel the pain in my leg- my nails were digging into my skin.
"It's alright to cry Bella. You don't have to pretend around me." she breathed. "You are a survivor and you should be proud of it. Just because you cry doesn't mean you're weak."
ooOoo
Authors Note:
Hey y'all! Thank you all for reading and reviewing and I'm so thankful for your support. To all those who celebrated, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! Plus Happy Hanukkah to everyone still celebrating!
I was literally sobbing throughout this chapter as I've waited and all of you have waited so long for this moment to come! Jacob is finally getting the punishment he deserves! Edward will be coming back soon so don't worry, I didn't forget about him :)
Also, i'll be skipping a few months in the next chapter, if anyone gets confused as to the time skip.
A last little note- the thing to separate the different sections in the story hasn't been working on fanfiction lately so I'm doing that other separator thing with the circles for now.
Anyways, I hope you all had/are having a happy holidays and I will try to update again as soon as possible!