Wow, Chandra marvelled at her reflection in her bedroom mirror. I look like shit. Staring back at her were eyes still bloodshot from the uninhibited sobbing and red skin, likely a result of her manic scratching; her lips were dry as if her body absorbed all the moisture from them to fuel the crying and she had a pretty offensive pimple on her chin which wasn't related but she thought, it really brings the whole look together.

As she turned from the mess that was herself, Chandra recalled a therapeutic method of finding the positives of a negative and she tried to consider how things could have been worse. Her migraine was calming down already, the pain that ran through her entire body was only a dull five and unlike the flashback she suffered once while Gideon was with her, she didn't...Chandra squirmed and shivered at the thought.

Well, that didn't help, though I do need to make a note to thank Gideon on my deathbed for never bringing that up. She couldn't force herself to be positive, but she could at least be more comfortable. Chandra slid her pants down which reminded her of the cute powerplay underwear she decided to wear this morning; she chuckled at the irony.

As she pulled her pyjamas up, a buzz came from the pocket of the pants she just dropped – which she chose to ignore, coming to the conclusion that Liliana had told her friends what happened. I'm already being coddled by mother, I don't obligatory niceties from you guys.

All Chandra's bravado and determination from only a couple hours ago felt lost to time There's nothing that takes the wind out of your sails quite like being an adult with their mommy staying home to watch them. "You know," Chandra spoke with strain as she returned to the living room, "you really didn't have to stay home to take care of me.

Pia joined her daughter on the couch to bring her a third cup of tea which would likely leave her bloated in no time. "If the shoe was on the other foot, you would do the same."

This was a factual statement, but it also shredded any last remnants of pride Chandra had. But the shoe has never been on the other foot, she thought to herself for the umpteenth time. There was a feeling of weakness and shame in crying so viciously in front of people, but there was normally a shred of dignity in this context. The tears were at least those of a soldier; she had earned them. Chandra knew that wasn't necessarily a healthy scope to view mental illness in, but it helped none the less.

However, looking at her mother out of the corner of her eye ripped that comfort away. Chandra was well aware that she had seen and done things no one should ever have to, but comparing her trials to her mothers – it wasn't close. The great General Pia Nalaar had hands that would never be fully washed of blood – those of enemies she cut down and friends that followed her orders without question. Despite all that, the young Nalaar never found her mother curled up and crying in a closet.

"Chandra," her mother spoke in solemn tone. I know that voice. She's going to ask me... "Have you had any anxiety or any other symptoms recently?" That. She's going to ask me that.

Now she was looking squarely into her mother's worried eyes. You yelled at Jace, hit Liliana, and refused to talk to your mother when you were well aware she would want you to. Why don't you do something right for once? It took willpower and a long period of silence before Chandra finally answered. "Yeah, well, no flashbacks, though I think I came close, maybe? A lot of anxiety though." The words came with a feeling of relief.

Chandra's face was and spirit were warmed by the hand she was now cupped in. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to worry you." There was no way Chandra was giving up the full truth. She planned to take what she assumed was the main trigger that brought all this on to her grave; thinking about it briefly reminded her that there had been a witness to that incident.

"Well, that's clearly worked out." Pia's delivery was as sarcastic as anyone could be, though her expression was conveying to Chandra how irresponsible she felt her daughter had been. Chandra chuckled to convey that the tone was received. "Maybe, if you don't want to talk to me, we should get you back into counselling."

There was a powerful groan in Chandra's mind. Dr. Evangela, who she spent a lot of time with years prior, was insufferable – both in her preachiness and her undeniable skills as a therapist. It annoyed Chandra that someone so annoying had been so helpful. "Maybe..."

Chandra brought her mother up to speed, with detail on the inner workings of her psyche over the past few weeks and the effects they had on her behaviour. She lost track of time while she was doing it and when the story was finished, Chandra was exhausted. Despite her entire body still throbbing in pain, she drifted in and out of sleep, only completely brought out of it by the sound of a door closing. She had no idea how long she had drifted, but the sun had gone down.

"Chandra?" Liliana's voice not only woke her from her daze, but it made her compulsively stand at attention. Chandra studied the other girl's face and saw a mark had been imprinted on her bottom lip, and she seemed to have the same expression of despair and fear that was there the last time they saw each other. The sinking feeling of guilt was back in force. "How are you feeling?" Liliana spoke timidly.

Even after hours of sleep, Chandra still felt like the universe had just kicked her ass. "Oh, you know, I guess I've..." She cut herself off when Liliana began walking towards her with small, gentle steps as if Chandra was a cat Liliana didn't want to scare off, eventually reaching and embracing her. Chandra considered mentioning that if Liliana was worried about setting her off again, wrapping her arms around her wasn't the best idea, but decided that could wait.

The moment they were sharing should have brought Chandra peace, or at least some amount of joy, but she felt Liliana's body shaking as she was wrapped up by it and the image of her cut lip and gloomy expression were burned into Chandra's mind. She just wanted a happy, normal family and I've probably ruined that forever.

When it seemed like nothing could make this experience anymore abysmal, Chandra heard a clicking noise – the sound of a phone doing a bad job of imitating a camera followed by her mother saying, "so cute."