Hey. Authors note. Here we go.
So as you may have gathered from the last chapter, this story has some darker elements and themes that have yet to be explored.
A couple of issues are going to end up being explored - old readers may remember one or two of those, but this will be going more in-depth.
I am not going to make this story gratuitously detailed, I see no point in trying to shock people. However, I feel it needs to be explored as it relates directly to my characterisation of Amy and her backstory in this version. There's a couple of reasons why I decided to do this - I want this story to be an inversion of the typical tropes associated with fanfiction or a lot of YA. I don't dislike those tropes, but what I am trying to write is an accurate exploration of being a teenager, and of mental illness and trauma. As someone who has dealt with and is dealing with mental illness and had, what was in many regards a rather traumatic childhood, I feel that these aren't often dealt with properly in fiction for young adults (I give fanfiction more leeway because most of that is written by teenagers and isn't meant to explore these issues anyway, while YA is written by adults and goes through publishers etc).
As an adult (I am twenty years old), I feel that I owe it to depict events as realistically as possible and not pretend that all problems go away because a cute guy kisses your scars and tells you he loves you.
But also because this is a rewrite of a fanfic that I started writing when I was twelve years old. Because it was in the first person it very quickly became quite autobiographical in how I depicted Amy. I was virtually friendless throughout most of secondary school, I was extremely socially anxious (pulling out of school trips so I wouldn't have to talk to people anxious), and also dealing with undiagnosed depression. I didn't have all of the vocabularies to express this, or the supports at the time to realise that was what I was going through, but as an adult with hindsight, I want to explore it more so.
In many ways yes! This is a cute highschool AU fanfic! I have fluff planned! I have teen drama planned! I have school dances planned! And I am more than willing to take suggestions from people for things they'd like to see! I'm not going to pull a "and then they all died the end!" on you guys!
BUT at the same time, I really want to explore some darker elements and themes in a realistic manner.
I just feel the need to clear the air after the dark turn of the last chapter. I'd hinted at darker elements before, but they will become more evident - now it's not all doom and gloom, the story isn't going to suddenly be all about trauma. The next chapter has some Sonamy moments (I feel bad about not giving you guys a kiss!)
I just know that some people were surprised. And I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable reading this story, so if you feel like these kinds of issues are triggers for you then you need to be mindful of yourself. That being said, I will include warnings for individual chapters, I will not go into a lot of detail, AND I will make sure it is largely high school shenanigans and romance above all else. It's going to be talked about in the next chapter, and only a handful of other times afterwards. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to stop reading though!
As for the next update? It shall probably be next week, once my exams are done! Thank you all so much for the reviews, I really love hearing from you all!
Love always,
Scarstar xxx