Chapter 22
The deed is done, the choice made. I'm in his arms; feeling like it's the most natural place in the world to be. Only it isn't.
Edward has to be the most complex man, or enigma I've ever crossed paths with. There are more than enough reasons for me not to get involved with him, and yet here I am, ignoring every one.
I'm not sure that I can trust what's happening between us. I'm not particularly sure that I can trust him, and yet here I am, falling, no diving, headfirst into this.
"So, now what?" I breathe in his clean, fresh scent.
"I could suggest we go back to my place and make love all day and night."
I look up at him in irritation. "Edward."
"Okay…fine, your place it is then." He smiles mischievously. I push him away, letting him that I'm serious.
"I'm kidding. Come here." He pulls me back to him and tucks a stray wisp of hair behind my ear. "We can do what normal people do when they like and are attracted to each other. It doesn't have to be difficult."
"This situation between you and me is far from normal, and difficult is the mildest word that I would use to describe you. We're pretty much doomed," I say playfully, emphasizing the 'd'.
"We are not doomed, and I'm going to prove to you that we can be normal. Come with me." He laces his fingers with mine and leads me to the door.
"Where are you taking me?"
"I'm taking you to lunch. I'm starving."
"But I have a patient in forty-five minutes. I don't have time to go to a restaurant right now."
"Who says I'm taking you to a restaurant. There's a hotdog cart right down the street from your office," he winks and gives me a dazzling smile. At this moment he's just too adorable and irresistible to not follow.
"Two chili-dogs with the works."
I wait as he orders for both of us. I study everything about his appearance. My eyes travel over the soft texture of his coppery, chaotic hair, and down over his chiseled features. I find myself thoroughly entranced with the way the muscles in his jaw clench, the curve of his lips. My mind conjures up a list of things he could do with those, none of them being "normal" things.
"Bella?"
"Mmm?" He pulls me from my daydream by waving his hand in my line of sight.
"I asked if you wanted anything to drink."
"Oh! Seltzer water… if they have it." I feel my face flush his mouth turns up confidently. He knows that I was shamelessly ogling him.
I smile nervously at the girl who hands Edward our lunch. Her face is turning the same color that I'm sure mine is at this moment. She too, has been caught up in the physical beauty of Edward Masen.
"Thank you." She smiles hesitatingly when he waves her off as she tries to give him his change.
He indicates for me to make my way ahead him to one of the nearby tables in the small park area directly across from the vending cart. It's an area where I've had quick lunches before, mostly of with Rosalie, sometimes with Jake.
He cracks open the bottle of seltzer and slides it and my hotdog toward me. I smile at his chivalry and unwrap my lunch. I stare at the mountain of toppings and suddenly feel prissy. If I'd been with Rosalie or Jake, who've both seen me tuck into messy food before, I would not have cared. I glance at him and see that he's watching me with an amused look.
"You said normal, right?"
"You did this on purpose." I laugh.
He stifles a laugh, his jaw stuffed full, after taking a huge bite. That single bite nearly devoured the entire thing.
I examine the meat stuffed bun, trying to find the best way to eat the damned thing without looking like a pig or ruining my two hundred-dollar, silk blouse.
"Just go for it, princess," he rolls his eyes jokingly. He's enjoying this my discomfort.
"I'm not a princess," I huff and finally just stuff the damned thing into my mouth.
"Woo!" He claps, drawing the attention of several passers-by.
I fight the adolescent urge to flip him the bird.
"Good, isn't it?"
I nod and give him a 'thumbs up'. He laughs and takes a healthy swig of his bottled water. We eat mostly in silence, just watching random joggers run past, mothers strolling their babies and other business people having a quick bite to eat.
We briefly lock eyes a number of times, and I wonder what he's thinking, but don't question him. I can tell that he also wants speak, but for whatever reason, he refrains.
I can't stop from studying his every feature; transfixed by the way his Adam's apple bobs up and down. I feel strange that I find little things like that about him sexy. And it doesn't help that he's sitting across from me in his hospital scrubs.
Damn it! How am I just noticing this?
"You're still in your scrubs."
He glances down at himself quickly and frowns.
"You're just noticing this?"
"You came to see me directly from the O.R.?"
"Yeah," he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, "let's just say our last time together was needling at me in the most consistent manner. I had to see you."
"I'm glad you came," I whisper.
"Me too." His piercing green eyes lock with mine, and my stomach flutters. The intensity of his eyes is almost too much to bear. Never has a man been able to affect me so deeply with a single look.
I break his mesmerizing hold on me by looking at my watch. I have thirty minutes before my next appointment, but I need to regain my equilibrium.
"I have to get going soon. Thank you for the normalcy. I enjoyed lunch." I rise to my feet while finishing my drink.
"This was okay, but I think I can do better." He stands up and rolls the empty hotdog wrapper into a ball.
"Better?"
"Yes, drinks tonight...at my brother's pub. You've been there before. It's a nice normal place…fun, friendly. What do you say? I'll pick you up after you get off."
I watch as he tosses the wrapper into the nearby trashcan like he's shooting a jump shot. He turns back to me for an answer.
"For a couple of hours…okay…yes, I'll have drinks with you after work." I ball up my wrapper and shoot it over into the same trashcan. He smiles at me, clearly impressed.
"I bet you can't do it again." He looks around and grabs a wrapper from the ground and balls it up, handing it to me.
I sigh as I take it from him and shoot it into the trashcan again.
He's admiration at my skill is obvious, but he's not giving up so easily.
He finds a couple more discarded wrappers and rolls them. He hands me one and holds onto the other. In perfect basketball form, he heaves the wrapper in the air, and it hits the rim, falling to the ground.
"Fuck."
"Tsk, tsk, Dr. Masen. Did you not eat your Wheaties this morning?" I laugh at his profanity. I take a few steps back. At this point a small crowd has gathered, suddenly interested in our little contest. Edward gives me a look of disbelief.
I hesitate for a moment, measure the distance then shoot the tightly crumpled paper into the can. The crowd cheers, and I curtsy elaborately and head in the direction of my office. I glance coyly over my shoulder at Edward, who is watching me with his hands on his hips and mouth open. I smile widely and walk away..
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.
.
"You look beautiful," he says as he holds his car door open for me.
"Seriously, Edward, I was wearing this when you saw me earlier." I wait for him to walk around to the driver's side.
"I know it's the same outfit. I meant the entire package. Your hair is down and two more buttons on your blouse are undone. There's a difference." He shuts the door, as his gaze runs over me.
I'm amazed, and if I'm honest, flattered by the level of attention he pays to me. No man has ever been that attentive to me before. He's changed and is wearing a simple black t-shirt and jeans, and looks utterly hot. I'm feeling a bit over-dressed.
"The fact that you're still wearing your glasses adds a sexy touch. You wouldn't believe the things that are going through my mind right now."
"Shut up and drive, Edward." I grin. He returns my smile and licks his bottom lip.
The pub isn't as crowded this time, which I find comforting. A rowdy place is not my idea of unwinding.
"Any place special you'd like to sit, a booth or…"
"A booth is fine."
He chooses a booth in the back corner; and to my surprise, he sits next to me rather than across from me. I'd normally be put off by the act, but nothing with Edward is conventional. I'm becoming comfortable with that.
He taps his fingers in time to the rhythm of the up-beat music.
"Would you like to dance?"
"Dance?" I fluster. "Uh…no…maybe later."
He simply nods and continues his rhythmic tapping.
I remember him dancing with Rosalie. He's good at it, sensual even. The way he moved his hips against hers was incredibly seductive. My flesh dampens at the memory.
"So, you surprised me a little earlier."
"I did? How so?" I lean back to look at him.
"Our little game of basketball…it was enlightening."
"Oh that. Well, you were just surprised that you lost to a woman."
"I didn't lose. It wasn't a win or lose situation." He sounds miffed.
"Oh please, Edward. Female domination scares you shitless," I laugh, and almost instantly recoil as I realize the impact of what I'd just said.
"I…I meant that…."
"Stop it, Bella. Don't even go there." He fixes me with a serious look
"I'm going to get us some drinks. "One of us needs to unwind and fast.".
.
.
.
I've loosened up considerably. Edward and I are enjoying each other.
He tells me all about his family, and how much I would love his sister Alice. He claims we are a lot alike. I'm looking forward to meeting her and his brother someday, I tell him. I wonder if Emmett is anything like Edward; but he assures me that he isn't. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing, but I'm about to find out.
Two familiar people walk through the door hand-in-hand through the door. Rosalie and Emmett notice us almost immediately. They have identical grins on their faces as they spy us. I can see right away that they are perfect for each other.
"This should be fun." Edward comments dryly.
Emmett is huge. He seems to get larger, the closer he comes. You'd think a man that size would be intimidating, but his blue eyes twinkle so brightly that I feel instantly at ease.
"Hey, bro. I didn't know you'd be here tonight," Emmett says as Edward stands to greet him. They exchange an affectionate hug.
"It was a spur of the moment thing."
"Hi, I'm Emmett, Edward's brother, and this is Rosalie." He extends his hand with a wide smile.
"Hello Emmett, I'm Bella. I already know Rosalie, as I'm sure she's already told you." Rose and I eye each other skeptically. Things are going to get interesting as soon as she can get me alone.
"Rosalie, this is my brother, Edward."
"Oh, I'm very familiar with your brother, Sweetheart. Aren't I, Edward?"
"I wouldn't say we were all that familiar. I mean we haven't slept together or anything," Edward retorts snidely.
"Thank God for that," Rosalie and Emmett echo in unison.
"Would you two like to join us?" Edward jerks his head to look at me, silently pleading for me to rescind the offer.
"We'd love to." Rosalie replies in sweet voice. Edward mouths 'thanks a lot', and I brace myself for the Rosalie Hale onslaught.
"Cool, I'll get our drinks and something to snack on. Edward you can help me out."
I watch Edward and Emmett walk away.
"Well, well, well. This is…."
"Get it out of your system, Rose."
"I was just going to say that this…you and Edward, it's happening pretty fast, isn't it?"
"We're just having drinks, Rose…not that I owe you any explanation. I am a grown woman, after all."
"Listen, Bella, I'm not trying to police your life…"
"It sure feels like it." I snap, and she huffs in frustration.
"As I was saying, I'm not trying to police your life. I just want you to be careful. I know he's gorgeous, charming, sexy and successful. Those are his pluses, but his minuses…." She shakes her head at me in warning. "He's married, for God sakes, Bella!"
"Keep your voice down!" I whisper harshly. "His divorce papers were filed weeks ago. We're just getting to know each other. Is that so wrong?"
"Bella…"
"Look Rosalie. I've been over this in my head a million times, and I've been fighting it for months. I can't do it anymore. Yes, there are 'minuses' as you say, and believe me you have no idea how severe those minuses are, but the pluses…." I look over at Edward and Emmett, talking at the bar and get lost for a moment. "You can't comprehend the kind of man he is, Rose. I'm just…."
"You're falling in love with him. There is no doubt in my mind."
I remain silent, staring at him until he turns to meet my eyes. He smiles, and that feeling is back. The feeling I have every time he enters a room, or comes into close proximity of me, when he touches me, looks at me, or smiles at me; the feeling that engenders both joy and terror in me.
The men rejoin us at the table, and after a while, Rose loosens up.
We're having good time; so good, that we haven't noticed that the night has practically dwindled away.
The pub emptied out over an hour ago, and Rosalie and Emmett are dancing to a slow tune. Their eyes are locked. You can tell they're both smitten.
Edward and I sit in silence, watching them and glancing back at each other periodically. He nudges me a few times, suggesting that we join them, but I'm not comfortable just yet with being so close to him in a public situation. It's only the four of us, but I decline.
"What are you so afraid of?" He traces my knuckles gently with his fingertip. "We like each other, Bella, and we're obviously attracted to each other, but nothing has to happen that you don't want. It's just dancing, two people holding each other closely, while swaying back and forth to the music...innocent."
"Hardly," I chuckle and lean into him and whisper seductively, "two people who like each other and who are obviously attracted to each other, pressed closely together, swaying back and forth to music…dangerous."
Our faces are inches apart. I can feel the warmth of his breath, when he licks his lips it feels as if he's licking mine.
"Dangerous can be fun sometimes."
"You like danger?" I goad him. I move my glance from his lips to his eyes. They have darkened and he's watching unblinkingly.
"Some danger. And contrary to what you might think, female domination doesn't scare me, I welcome it," he whispers and leans in to run just the tip of his tongue over my bottom lip.
My eyes flutter closed, and I lean into him.
"Martinis taste good on you. I'll make a note of that. In the meantime…."
My eyes snap open as he pulls me from the booth and leads me past Emmett and Rosalie to the back of the pub.
My head swirls in anticipation of what he's about to do.
"Where are we going?"
"To indulge in something a little dangerous." His dark smoldering eyes and deep, sultry voice makes my breath hitch.
My heart thuds wildly as he draws me deep into the darkened area. He lets go of my hand and switches on the light, dimming it to create a pleasant ambience. I realize that we're in the game room.
He braces his hands on either side of the pool table behind me, and moves forward to gently pin me against it.
I'm waiting for the sexual grin or cocky behavior to make an appearance, but he just looks incredibly sexy and irresistible.
"Are you ready?" He whispers silkily in my ear.
"For what?" He senses my apprehension, I'm sure, and he leans right against and reaches for something behind me.
"Darts… three out of five wins." He kisses me on the cheek. "Tsk, tsk, Bella. What exactly did you think I was asking?" He laughs out loud and moves to switch on the electronic dartboard.
"You have no idea who you're dealing with, Edward Masen." I raise my arm and throw one of the darts at the board before he has a chance to move out of the way. He dodges adeptly and turns to look at me with a shocked expression.
"Christ! I said a little danger …Sheesh."
"Best three out of five, Doctor."
Instead of five games, the competition ends with ten games, and I win eight games to two. He's pissed off, and I find it both adorable and sexy.
He finally draws Rosalie and Emmett into the competition and things go from bad to worse.
"They're sharks!" Emmett yells, and Rosalie and I burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.
"Okay, okay. Enough!" Edward loudly silences our laughter. "New round…best three out of five wins."
"Uh…we've played about twenty-five games. I don't see the point in beating a dead horse," I tease.
"Oh, you think you're so funny, don't you? Well, here's one sport you won't be able to win."
He reaches me in two strides and hoists me over his shoulder.
"The sport of manhandling, perfect, Edward." Rosalie comments dryly.
"Put me down, Edward. Now!" I yell, but can't contain my humor. "You're a sore loser. Just take your punishment like a man."
"Funny you should say that," he says and whacks me on the backside, and I yelp in surprise. "I'll take my beating like a man if you take yours like a woman."
"This is beyond inappropriate. Rosalie, don't just stand there, help me!"
"Pluses and minuses, Bella. Pluses and minuses," she sings and strolls off with Emmett.
"Emmett!" I whine.
"What do we say, bro?" Edward spins around so and Emmett bends down to look at me.
"Never, ever, try and one-up a Masen. Good luck, Bella," he responds with a booming laugh.
"Oh, you have got be kidding me! Edward!"
"How many licks can you stand, Dr. Swan?"
"Your behavior almost certainly ensures that there won't be a second date." I spit from my upturned position.
"You mean a third."
"You know what I mean, Edward. Now put me down."
"As you wish."
He crosses the room and splays me out on the pool table, and stands between my legs, staring down at me with hooded eyes.
"This isn't what I had in mind when I said to put me down." My voice sounds breathless.
"Me either, and yet here we are."
"Edward…"
"You are so…." he reaches up to trace my exposed collar bone, "…beautiful. The things I could do to you right here, right now, like this." He draws his hand down and my breathing picks up.
"It's going to nearly destroy me to keep stopping myself, Bella."
I hold my breath, waiting to see how far he'll go.
"But I will." He steps back and holds extends his hand, and I take it, allowing him to pull me up. He unexpectedly straightens my rumpled skirt and smooths my hair.
"I'm sorry. I got a little carried away, I hate losing." He shrugs sheepishly.
"Is that all you have to say?"
"Is this really going to ruin my chance of a third date?"
"It should."
"Will it though?"
"I don't know. Let me think about it," I say sarcastically and look up at the ceiling, feigning deep contemplation.
"You're really thinking about this?" He sounds worried, and I think it's hilarious.
"Our next date has to be on my terms."
"Okay," he agrees immediately. "Whatever you want."
I tap my chin for a moment, this time truly in thought.
"I want a quiet dinner."
"Fine."
"And a movie."
"I can do that." He crosses his arms and snorts.
"And I want them on my territory."
"Done. Come, dance with me."
"No…I can't. I have to be getting home. I have an early day tomorrow."
"Oh, all right…well let me grab my keys, and I'll take you home."
"No, that's okay. Rosalie is probably saying goodnight to your brother as well. She'll take me home."
"Are you sure? It's not a problem."
"Tonight was good. I enjoyed myself. I think it's appropriate for us to say goodnight here."
"Trying to avoid the goodnight kiss on your doorstep, I see."
I'm not so much afraid of kissing him again, as what I know the kiss would lead to. I meant what I said about enjoying the night. Things have gone better than I'd anticipated, even with Rosalie in our company most of the night, but there were moments where the sexual attraction between us was severely tested. We were able to draw back from those feelings all night, but I know that once we're alone and kissing, things would not be as easy to control.
"Patience. The goodnight kiss will happen when the time is right. See me to the door."
I grab his hand and pull him to the entrance.
"Patience is something I'm definitely learning with you."
Rosalie and Emmett are passionately kissing, and Edward snorts in mock irritation.
I'm over-joyed that Rosalie has finally found someone that seems to make her happy. Emmett strikes me as the perfect guy for her.
"They look perfect together," I extol. "I think he'll be good for her."
"As long as he can control that mouth of hers, it should work out fine." Edward deadpans, and I playfully swat at him.
.
.
.
"Okay, I'll admit, Edward's not that bad."
"Mmhm."
"He's actually quite fun and charming."
"Mmhm."
I'm wrapped up in my thoughts and not really listening to Rose. She keeps glancing at me, and when we stop at a red light, she turns in her seat to look pointedly at me.
"I still think this thing between the two of you is…what words are the words I'm looking for?" She taps her chin dramatically.
"The words you're looking for are, none of my damned business."
"Ouch." She says sarcastically.
"Okay, fine, since the subject of you and Doc Masen is off limits, can we talk about how wonderful Emmett and I are?"
"Knock yourself out," I chuckle.
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.
.
I lie in bed, thinking about Edward. I wonder if he's thinking about me as well.
"This is ridiculous." I chastise and grab my cellphone. I send him a text that simply reads 'thinking of you,' and I instantly wish that I could somehow stop it from reaching him.
While I'm mentally kicking myself, he responds.
"I feel childish detailing my feelings via a text message. Can I call you?"
My phone rings before I can respond. I take a deep breath and answer, but before I can speak, he cuts in.
"So, you're thinking about me? Are they all good thoughts?" He sounds happy and relaxed. I imagine him naked beneath those black satin sheets.
Stop it, Bella.
"Yes, they're all pleasant thoughts."
"That's good to hear, and yes, you are on my mind too. In case you're wondering, you've been on my mind since you left."
"That's…good to hear." I slink down beneath my sheets.
"Mmhm… so, Bella?"
"Yes?"
"What are you wearing?"
"Oh, that's so typical and very clichéd of you," I laugh.
"I'm glad I didn't disappoint you," he laughs in return.
And suddenly we both fall awkwardly silent.
"Anyway…I just wanted you to know."
"That you were thinking about me. I got that, but what were you thinking? Were you wishing that I were there right now, that you had allowed me to drive you home so we could have had that kiss after all? Maybe, you're thinking about what could've happened after we shared said kiss?"
I realize that he's right; that is exactly what I'd been thinking and wishing for.
"Were you thinking about what my mouth would taste like, and about what my hands would be doing to you while I was devouring your tongue with my own?
I bet you were wondering what the kiss would have been like. It would have started off chastely; becoming slow and lingering, and before either of us could control ourselves it would be wild and passionate, with me pressing you against the door."
I feel that I should stop him, but his sultry, velvet voice and the thought of what he would have done, has my body responding, almost against my will.
"I know you're thinking that you need to stop this, to stop me, but your body disagrees. Don't bother denying it, I can read your response by the way you're breathing, Bella."
"Is that your medical opinion?"
"You tell me, Doctor."
"I don't have the same medical expertise."
"You can't tell me that you don't study your patients' body language. I know that you've studied mine."
I can hear the rustle of his sheets as he repositions himself. I try hard not to think of that.
"What would you do if I kissed you like that at your door?"
"I'm not answering that."
"You're not answering because technically, you wouldn't know what to do."
"Why, because you're so good at what you do?"
"Because I wouldn't know what to do if you kissed me that way, Bella. I would be mad with want. There would be no end to the amount of pleasure I would show you, the places I would take your body."
He paints one hell of a picture, and I'd be lying if I said that he isn't affecting me in the most intimate way. He's spoken this way before, but there is no smugness or arrogance in his speech this time, and he's not using sexual innuendo as a diversionary tactic. The power that he can exert over me with his honesty and sensuality continues to disarm me, and this vulnerability scares me to death.
"Because if you were thinking any of those things, you were only thinking what I have been."
"I.-it's too soon, Edward," I stammer. I feel flustered, my body quivering with repressed want.
"I know. Although, a man can fantasize."
I silently listen to his breath and the subtle rustle of his sheets.
His velvet voice lays one final caress on my scorching body.
"Have a good night, Bella."