"Damn kettle! You've got one job!" Lestrade shouted, smacking the office's electric kettle. "Work!"
I was growing rather impatient with his distraction.
"I need your support on this. Gregson won't listen."
"How about we have dinner together? We'll talk things over then," he proposed.
"Disgusting, no! Haven't you been listening? There's a murder syndicate lead by a nefarious undertaker and we have to take him out before he disposes of another pair of victims!"
"I'd offer you tea," he turned to the kettle and shouted, "if I had any!"
"Tea won't solve this case. I require police involvement."
"You don't have proper evidence," Lestrade sighed. "They need reason to investigate. So far all you've got is a hunch."
"My word ought to be enough to produce a warrant."
"Then make your half-brother believe there's some form of wrongdoing at hand."
"Frame the undertaker for his own murders? I like where you're heading…"
"No? That's not what I'm saying!"
"If the blood was on his own hands; then they'd be forced to investigate and would unearth his other crimes."
"Or, reason with Gregson and point him in the right direction. There's no need for people to die over your lacking ability to face your own problems." Lestrade, while woefully stupid, was right for once.
"If you'd take on the case yourself…"
"It's outside of my jurisdiction."
"If there were to be a double homicide attached to the undertaker here in London…" I thought out loud.
"More innocent people would be dead," he added. "His record is spotless. I don't know what else to say. You'd have to convince the police to setup a sting operation."
"Fine, I'll go undercover but it would be far more convenient to have him arrested outright."
"Still on for dinner?"
"No I'll skip dinner but I will still have the intercourse. I've come all this way; might as well."
"I thought you found me appalling."
"I still do. I'd get it elsewhere if I wanted."
"That's assuring. You sure you don't want to try it with someone else? Not many people would be willing to be called stupid and ugly-"
"I never said you were ugly," I reminded him.
"Are you sure John's not interested in having you?"
"Why are you looking to pass me on to someone else?"
"You'd see the good thing you have going for you and would come crawling back like you always do. It happens every time you run off with another detective. I'm the one that puts up with you, is at your beck and call, picks up the pieces when things need fixed… I don't just tolerate you, I love you."