Hey guys, I'm back!
I'm sorry for keeping you waiting all this time.
In past year, I've spent a lot of time and energy bettering my life.
I've lost weight, I go to the gym regularly, and I'm working through a significant relationship.
I'm proud of what I have accomplished and now I'm onto my next goal: my writing.
I have many reasons that hold me back. They all stem from fear.
I'm scared that, one day, I'll write something that proves I'm a horrible writer.
It's weird, I know, but it's the truth.
Regardless, I'll be working hard to hone this hobby into an art. I'm in it for the long haul!
I thank you all for sticking by me and this story.
Without further ado, here is the next chapter.
Happy reading!
Clarke clings to Octavia, desperate to make the horse run faster.
"We're going as fast as we can, Clarke," Octavia says over her shoulder.
"We can't lose Lexa," Clarke snaps.
Octavia gives her a look before focusing on the path ahead, "we're almost there."
Keeping her mouth shut, Clarke swallows the worry clumping in her throat. Skaikru, couldn't lose Lexa. They wouldn't have gotten this far without her. The fate of her people rested in her survival. Without Lexa, they would be alone against the world. They needed her. This was about her people, Clarke tells herself as she tries to calm the grief clenching her insides.
Lexa's sly smile flashes in Clarke's mind and an onerous feeling sets into her chest. Clarke should have never let her go after the Demonkai. She should have found another solution. Because of her, Lexa was laying in the dark somewhere, hurt and alone. Clarke briskly shakes her head and focuses on the cold evening air soothing her stinging eyes.
Feeling the other girl squeezing her again, Octavia spurs her horse to run faster.
They ride for what feels like hours until Clarke finally spots a small patch of light ahead. It peaks through the underbrush, barely visible through the dark forest.
Clarke all but leaps off the horse when they come to a stop.
She comes to a slight pause at the mouth of the tent. Her body trembles, images of a gruelling and disfigured Lexa coming to mind – or worse, a pale-skinned Lexa whose unblinking eyes stare up at the blank tent canvas. She takes a deep, shaky breath before ducking into the tent.
The tent is small and damp but its fabric provides a decent barrier against the cold night air. The flickering campfire nearby creates a rhythmic light inside that grows brighter then darker, never reaching a point of stability. Despite the warmth, the air feels heavy as she sees a dark figure hunched over a bed.
When it rises, she recognizes the figure as Lincoln.
"She is alive," he says immediately.
Clarke lets out a small sigh and nods before hurrying to her side after spotting the girl lying on the makeshift bed of soft moss and leaves.
"We got here as fast as we could," Octavia voices the only thought that comes to mind.
"I know," Lincoln cups her face in his hands. "She is strong and she has Clarke," he quickly kisses her. "What about Arkadia?"
"Abby will cover for her but we don't have much time," Octavia sighs.
Clarke places a free hand on Lexa's forehead as she wiggles out of her jacket. It comes back warmer than she would have liked. She slides two blankets off the Commander before spotting the small stock of supplies nearby.
The brunette's eyes slowly flutter open. Her pale lips smile softly upon seeing Clarke's face.
"Clarke," Lexa says softly.
Clarke stops rummaging through the supplies to look at her patient. Her heart swells as she sees two green orbs looking up at her.
"Lexa," Clarke touches the other girl's arm, "don't move."
Just for a moment, Lexa forgets where she is. She forgets her pain and her worries. All she sees is Clarke's face – her eyes, her hair, her lips. A warmth settles in her chest.
Then, everything comes crashing back. "Clarke, the Demonkai have her."
Without thinking, Lexa tries to sit up. A fury of pain explodes in her side and ricochets up to her shoulder causing her to sink back down. Clarke places a firm yet gentle hand on Lexa's shoulder.
"Try not to move," she whispers. "We don't know what we're dealing with."
Her body was worse than she thought, Lexa realizes. Her ribs produced constant waves of pain while her hand throbbed with every slight movement. She felt cold yet her body was damp with sweat. Fatigue washes over her and she wishes she could sink into the mattress for eternity but the Commander cannot rest, not now. Gritting her teeth, and preparing for the pain, Lexa tries to sit upright, ignoring Clarke's hand.
"Lexa-"
"They know of our attack. Our people are in danger." Lexa manages to grunt through the pain blazing in her side as her torso reaches a vertical position.
"Please," Clarke tries to calm the other girl. "You need to lay down."
Lexa takes Clarke's hand. "If they've taken the girl, it's only a matter a time before they attack one of my villages, or Skaikru." Lexa looks past Clarke to the others standing nervously at the edge of the tent. "We need to warn them."
The Commander's eyes lock onto Octavia. "Indra's village is the closest. She must be informed, they need to prepare."
Octavia's forehead furrows, and her back straightens. "I'll go."
"It's too dangerous," Lincoln says immediately.
"Lincoln, they need to know what's coming," Octavia barks.
Lincoln squeezes his jaw but says nothing.
"Lincoln's right," Clarke gets to her feet, addressing everyone. "The Demonkai are still out there. They know Lexa betrayed them. They won't hesitate to kill any Skaikru they find. Besides," Clarke turns back to Lexa, "there's no way Indra's village could hold them off. They need an army."
"They don't need to fight; they must evacuate to the capitol. My men can protect them." Lexa concentrates on keeping her voice even while actively fighting the desire to clutch the intense pain stabbing her side with every word. She could not afford to appear weak right now.
Lexa steadies herself. "We have time before the Demonkai move again."
A crisp breeze flies into the tent, kicking up a few leaves and leaving a chill in the air.
"How?" Clarke asks, a strange feeling settling in her stomach as she sees Lexa's face.
"Now that they have the girl, they'll undergo a ritual to extract and kill the demon within her." Lexa says slowly. "That will give us time to evacuate nearby villages."
Octavia doesn't hesitate, "I'll tell them."
Lincoln frowns.
"There's something else," Lexa voice becomes rough and they all perk up. "We need Titus. He is due to arrive in Arkadia soon. He has answers about the Demonkai – we need him here."
Octavia and Lincoln look between Clarke and Lexa, unmoving.
"What about Arkadia?" Clarke says with a little more bite than she meant. She couldn't help but feel how familiar this felt; Lexa putting her own people first.
"Arkadia is safe enough for us to come up with a plan," Lexa coughs, her hand immediately shooting to her side as a lightning storm of pain rips through her body. She can't help the gasp that escapes her lips.
Clarke immediately lowers herself to the brunette. Over her shoulder, she looks to the others.
"I'll stay here. Find Titus and warn the villages," Clarke's voice is clear and sharp.
Octavia nods firmly and ducks out of the tent. Lincoln follows her out.
Clarke turns back to Lexa and their eyes meet. A soft ache twists in Clarke's chest as she examines the other girl. Her pale brow holds beads of sweat and her body is stiff with pain yet her unwavering eyes burn in the darkened tent like lanterns.
"I'm sorry, Clarke," Lexa whispers. "I failed to bring her back."
Clarke shakes her head, "you need to lay down." The possibilities of what could be broken in Lexa's body fill her mind and she looks through the supplies again.
Lexa sees Clarke avoid her eyes as she pulls out a small rattling container. Lexa waits as Clarke pops off the lid and tips three small capsules into her cannister of water. She shakes it for a moment before giving it to the brunette.
"Drink it," Clarke orders, her eyes only locking with Lexa's for a moment before turning back to the dancing shadows cast on the tent's wall behind Lexa.
Lexa looks into the canteen's mouth, finding only an opening of darkness. When she looks back at Clarke, the girl is busy looking for something else in the supplies. Lexa swigs back the canteen and drains its contents in a few gulps, hoping it spurs Clarke into saying something.
Clarke has the ointment, bandages and even a few sleeping powders. All she needed now was to see what she was up against.
"Lay down," Clarke tells her, putting her hand on Lexa's back for support.
When the brunette doesn't move, Clarke speaks louder. "Lexa, you need to lay down."
Lexa looks directly into Clarke's eyes and places her uninjured hand on Clarke's. "We'll stop them."
Clarke lets out a short sigh, annoyed now. "I know that, now lay down."
Lexa reluctantly slides herself down inch-by-inch as Clarke helps manage her weight. Once flat, Lexa release a great exhale as the throbbing ravaging her sides and collarbone subside. Clarke immediate starts to search Lexa's body for wounds. She doesn't find any immediate external wounds but her shirt was soaked in blood, she'd have to remove it. A small smudge making its way up Lexa's neck reminds Clarke of a red-splattered rose.
"What will happen to her?" Clarke asks, worried about what Lexa had said earlier.
Clarke searches for a pair of scissors of a knife.
"It's unclear what the ritual entails," Lexa tries again to catch Clarke's eye, ignoring the worry coating Clarke's voice. "But I know it isn't good. Nobody survives.
Without meaning to, Clarke lets out a desperate gasp. She had told Veda that she was safe, that everything was going to be okay. She pushes the thought aside as she continues to riffle for a sharp edge to cut through Lexa's clothes.
Lexa clenches her jaw at Clarke's response, swallowing through her dry, constricted throat. She hated seeing Clarke like this.
"We can get her back," Lexa says louder than she meant to, her eyes locked onto Clarke's.
Clarke finally looks up, "how?"
Lexa's heart constricts as she sees the hope in Clarke's eyes. "We'll make a plan when Titus gets here."
Clarke nods, finally finding a small knife and unsheathing it from its leather casing. The handle was worn and the sharp blade spotless. It must be Lexa's, Clarke thinks.
When she looks at the Lexa, she finds her staring up at the ceiling intently.
"I need to see your wounds," Clarke states, knife in hand.
Lexa doesn't recognize Clarke's face. Why was she hesitating.
"Um..." Clarke fumbles for other words, "I need to remove your shirt."
Lexa looks down at her currently hidden torso and back at Clarke. Her heart skips a few beats but she concentrates on controlling the butterflies that suddenly sprang up in her stomach. She manages a curt nod to Clarke.
Upon receiving the okay, Clarke pulls up the girl's shirt in one hand and, taking only a fraction of a second to prepare for what she was going to see, uses the knife to swiftly slice the shirt in half.
Lexa stares at Clarke once she's exposed, trying the ignore warmth creeping up her neck and into her cheeks. She remembers that Clarke's work will undoubtedly cause a lot of pain and closes her eyes for what's to come.
Clarke sees red and quickly finds the source. Two pieces of wood were wedged into the Commander's side – one between her ribs and the other just below her breast.
Clarke rapidly reaches for the other container of water and small towel she'd spotted earlier. She moistens the towel to start cleaning the blood. As she clears Lexa's skin, she notices dark bruising spreading from Lexa's ribs to her abdomen and her left breast. The contusion was worse than she'd expected but her external wounds appeared minor.
First things first, she'd have to remove the pieces of wood and dress the open wounds. Clarke looked around the tent for finer equipment but couldn't see any – her hands would have to do.
"Lexa," Clarke says as the other's girl's eyes find hers. "This is going to hurt."
Unafraid, Lexa nods her understanding as Clarke wraps her fist around the small wooden nodule sticking out from Lexa's side. Squeezing her grip as hard as she can, Clarke yanks the piece out in one swift motion.
Lexa hisses in pain but doesn't move.
Clarke finds the piece in her hand to be larger than expected, where only a fraction of the piece was visible above the flesh. Clarke instantly grabs the gauze and leans into Lexa to apply pressure on the wound. The brunette winces in pain.
The two pieces were close together, she'd have to remove the other before applying bandages. Without waiting, Clarke clasps the piece stuck beside Lexa's breast and pulls it out. Luckily this piece is only a few inches long. Clarke applies pressure to both wounds for a few minutes before releasing them to grab the bandages.
Clarke slides her hand under Lexa's back to help her sit up. Lexa, taking the cue, pushes herself into a sitting motion letting out a short groan in the process. With Lexa upright, Clarke quickly wraps the bandages around the girl's torso and above her uninjured shoulder to ensure enough pressure is distributed to both injuries.
Once she's finished, Clarke's pulse slows a beat. She takes in Lexa sitting slightly hunched with her hair falling over her face as the campfire's light glows behind her. A soft aura outlines the brunette in the dark tent. Clarke accidentally looks at Lexa's bare breast as it sits perked up, the small nipple hardened by all the commotion. Without realizing it, Clarke had reached out to place a hand on Lexa's back.
Lexa feels the touch and looks back at her. Clarke is taken off-guard by Lexa's beauty and has to clear her throat before speaking.
"You can lay down now," Clarke says gently. Lexa does.
Lexa makes no move to cover herself and Clarke takes a moment to check on the girl's bruising again. It didn't seem to be getting worse – that was good. The compression from the bandages would help and Lexa had already ingested a healthy dose of anti-inflammatory medication.
For now, it seems like the only thing left to do was wait. Clarke grabs the blanket clumped at Lexa's feat and drapes it over her. She leans over Lexa to feel her forehead once again. It wasn't getting warmer – another good sign.
Clarke's sweet scent fills Lexa's nose and she has to look away. Clarke had done well, the procedure wasn't as painful as she'd expected. Lexa takes comfort in the other's girl's touch and her close proximity.
When Clarke sits down, the two girls look at each other intently.
"Thank you," Lexa says softly.
Clarke smiles at her, her heart still racing.
Clarke takes a few minutes to reorganize the supplies and calm herself before coming back to her patient's bedside. Lexa feels her pain begin to dull as she lays bundled under the blanket. They don't say anything for a while, each enjoying the other's company in silence until Clarke remembers something.
"The last time we met, you asked me if Veda and I were together," Clarke' voice is soft as Lexa perks up. "Is that what you think?"
Lexa's heart begins to beat faster as she searches those big blue eyes for the thoughts they were hiding. She steadies herself before speaking.
"You care for her. More than that, she's important to you. She means something to you.
Lexa waits for Clarke to disagree. To say something that will deny Lexa's claims but Clarke stares at her silently. A dense ball forms in Lexa's stomach and she breaks eye contact with the blonde.
"I won't stand in your way, Clarke," the Commander keeps her chin high, even while laying down. "I want you to be happy, whatever that may bring. If she's the one you want, I won't stop it."
The proposition makes the air thick and Lexa hears her heartbeat in her ears. Her insides tremble as she watches Clarke's every move. The world seems frozen as both girls stare at each other until Clarke smiles through a sigh.
"You did all of that for Veda even while thinking that," Clarke says more to herself than to Lexa.
Lexa holds Clarke's gaze, unsure what she means by that.
Clarke looks at the girl she'd almost lost. She was so scared to lose her and it wasn't for her people. She didn't want to lose Lexa. She wanted her, needed her. Clarke examines the girl's face, her eyes lingering on her lips for a moment. As she leans down, she brings up a hand to cup Lexa's face and, a moment later, connects their lips.
Lexa's heart is racing as the other girl's mouth joins hers. For a moment, her pain melts away and all she can feel is her heart doing flips in her chest. She kisses Clarke back, deepening the kiss.
Clarke's chest fills with butterflies and her cheeks feel warm. Excitement pours out from her chest and spreads to her whole body, creating an electric reaction between her legs. She wants to let go of her anger, her hate. To lose herself in the other girl's body so that Clarke fade away and only Lexa remains. All she had to do was open herself up to Lexa and let her swell inside her empty shell, filling all the corners until she was Clarke and Clarke was her.
Clarke pulls her head back, breaking the kiss.
Lexa searches Clarke's face, still a little light-headed from the kiss.
"I don't want Veda," Clarke's voice breaks. "I want you."
Lexa's heart pounds in her ears and her chest swells when she sees the look on Clarke's face. Without thinking, Lexa reaches up pulls Clarke into another kiss.
It's hungrier this time, Lexa's want and desire spilling out of her. Clarke doesn't resist, instead sinking into Lexa, clutching the other girl's blanket.
Lexa's tongue brushes against Clarkes lips. The blonde opens them, letting Lexa's tongue dance with hers. Their tongues swirl together, each girl drinking deep of the other's taste.
Lexa breathes Clarke in, her sweet smell filling her nose and sending shocks to her lady parts. She slips her hand behind Clarke's neck to pull her closer.
Euphoria spreads down Clarke's neck and across her entire body. She lets the brunette wash over her. She wants to have all of Lexa but-
Clarke breaks the kiss again.
"Stop," Clarke feels out of breath, "you're hurt. You need to rest."
Clarke shudders at the desire in Lexa's eyes but gently caresses the other girl's cheek. She fixes Lexa's blanket before checking her temperature again.
"Try to get some sleep," Clarke smiles.
With her heart pounding in her chest, Lexa drinks in Clarke's eyes. She doesn't think she'll fall asleep any time soon but the Commander enters a deep sleep only moments later.