"First I blame you, then I want you
Fucking hate you, then I love you
I can't help myself, no
When I have you, wanna leave you
If you go, that's when I need you
I can't help myself, no
You come in waves, waves, waves
Every hour, every day, day, day
You come in waves…"
Normani Feat. 6lack – "Waves"
Califia found Erik sitting on the sand of the beach she had once trampled on as a teenager. It was a cool day in Oak Bluffs, and Erik wore a beige sweater and jeans with a pair of new kicks on his feet.
She watched him throw a few ragged shells into the water.
"JaJa, come eat," she called out.
Erik's head snapped around to stare at her, his face absent of the normal joyful expressions he had for her. They were not in a good place together and it was her fault. She had refused to allow him to contact his father. She'd taken away his phone and pulled it apart before they left Oakland. She had a burner phone for herself and she told no one where she and Erik were staying for the last two weeks.
N'Jobu had returned from Wakanda the previous week and she knew he was probably frantic trying to find them. She left him a message on his phone once she knew he was in the air and unable to track her. The only information she left him was that she and Erik had taken a little vacation together and would be back in another week. She had even allowed Erik to say hello on the message so that everything sounded normal. They had taken trips before when N'Jobu was gone. Except this time, she didn't come back right away.
All that high tech from his country made it easy to find anyone. Her only recourse was to use a burner and leave no social media footprints for him to trace. He didn't know anyone in Oak Bluffs. Even if he went to Bakari to try and pump info, she knew Bakari would keep his mouth shut for her sake even though N'Jobu was his boy. To be extra safe, she didn't even tell Bakari where she was.
She kept a tight leash on Erik, forbidding him to try and call his father. She even lied saying he was in Wakanda for longer hoping her son wouldn't try to sneak a cell call from anyone's phone. It worked for a while. They took no computers with them, so he couldn't jump online without her knowing it. She told her friend Ayanna that Erik was not allowed to use any computer because he was on punishment. She gave no explanation of what he had done to be grounded from the internet.
"Hungry?" she asked.
Erik stood in front of her, his eyes sullen.
"I asked you a question."
He shrugged.
"What did I tell you about shrugging at people as an answer—"
He stalked past her and headed for Ayanna's home.
She refused to get angry with him even though he was pissing her off. She followed behind Erik as they moved from beach sand to pavement. A tiny breeze ruffled the crinkled curls of Erik's 'fro.
Ayanna's house smelled of savory soup and fresh bread.
"There he is," Ayanna said.
Dr. Ayanna Youngblood had been a balm in Gilead for Califia right before she reunited with N'Jobu so many years ago. Staying in Oak Bluffs, hooking up with childhood cohorts Cedric and Albert had been a trip and a half. A lifetime ago.
Erik's face stared at the stove and Califia knew he was famished. Ayanna was a fabulous cook, and Erik was filling up on her East Coast specialties. Erik washed his hands at the kitchen sink and sat down at the small kitchen table that was decorated as if they were about to have a high tea.
"Sit, sit Califia," Ayanna said.
Fresh sirloin steak soup was ladled into their bowls, and slices of cranberry bread were slathered with fresh creamy butter on their plates. Erik spent no time talking, and Califia felt happy to see her boy chow down well. Ayanna watched him and her eyes strayed to look at Califia too. The woman could see the tension between Erik and Califia.
"Good day today at the beach, Erik?" Ayanna asked.
"Yes."
"See anything exciting?"
"Not really. It was just peaceful," he said.
Erik cut his eyes at Califia, but she ignored it, happy that he was speaking.
"This soup is delicious…everything has been so good Ayanna. Thank you for spoiling us," Califia said.
"I'll keep making good food for as long as you stay."
Erik stared at Ayanna when she said that. His eyes turned and glared at Califia.
"I want to talk to Baba."
Califia scooped up chunks of steak on her spoon. Ayanna's eyes fell on Califia too.
"I said I want to speak to my father."
She watched her son's face and the anger she saw there made her shiver. He looked so much like N'Jobu when he was mad.
"We can talk about that later—"
"I want to talk about it now!"
Erik pounded his left hand on the table.
"Raising your voice at me? Being this disrespectful-!"
Erik leaped up from his seat and stormed out of the house. Califia put down her spoon and stood up.
"Let him be," Ayanna said.
"He gets worse every day—"
"Why won't you let him talk to his father?"
"We are having some…problems and I need time away from him."
"Why does it feel like you've run off with Erik?"
"Ayanna…please. I'm trying to get my head together. Work some things out."
"Whatever issues you have with Joseph shouldn't keep him from his son. That child misses his father. You'll push Erik away from you further if you keep hiding here."
"I'm not hiding—"
"Yes, you are. Every time the house phone rings you jump. You check your cell every hour on the hour. You watch your son's every move. Did Joseph…did he abuse you?"
"No…no it's nothing like that. We just have some fundamental differences in how we are living—"
"You don't have to sell me a snow job, Cali. I'm your friend."
Califia tried to convey the truth without telling the truth.
"JoJo is planning to uproot us from Oakland and I'm not down for that. I vacillate between wanting to talk to him and not wanting to. I miss him, and then I get mad about some things, and then I shut down. It comes and goes."
Ayanna stared at her face for a long time. She ate a bit of her soup but didn't challenge Califia for more information.
"You are hurting him."
Califia felt her eyes water.
"Excuse me…"
She put her dishes and Erik's in the sink and left the kitchen. Walking outside she let the cool breezes flow over her as she tried to get her mind to stop racing. She felt confused and a sense of disorientation. Deep down she knew it was wrong to hide Erik from N'Jobu. But she was also afraid of him too. Even with her long history with N'Jobu and the trust she had with him, discovering the entire truth of his world made her anxiety spiral. Right at that moment, she felt lost. The anger toward N'Jobu's choices still simmered. She didn't know how to fix them. Going back just seemed too scary. Uncertain. N'Jobu came from people who were like Gods. How could a mere mortal like her stand against him if he made decisions that she was against?
She walked back to the beach and didn't find Erik there. A bit of panic set in until she saw him riding Ayanna's beach cruiser. The bike was so big, but he handled it, rolling without pedaling.
A car horn caught her attention.
"Cedric?"
Cedric pulled over in a silver sedan. Two children sat in the back seat.
"Hey, a little bird told me you were out here," Cedric said.
She gave Cedric a weak smile and he frowned a bit.
"Is it a bad time to visit? I heard you had Erik with you and thought maybe we could go to a movie. The kids are all crazy about that new Disney movie. We could catch the next show in an hour."
Califia glanced over at Erik.
He rolled the bike her way and stopped when he saw Cedric's face.
"Hey young man!"
"Hi," Erik said.
"I was just asking your Mom if you would like to join me and my kids for a movie. Popcorn, soda, candy, all the works."
It would be a nice distraction.
But Erik's face hadn't warmed up, and Califia was afraid that he would act out just to get under her skin.
"Okay," he said.
She couldn't hide the grin on her face.
###
N'Jobu stood behind his brother as he waited for the procession of Ramonda's family to make the wedding prance in front of the Udaku Clan. The tiny buzz of drones flew around them as the televised event was presented to the entire nation.
T'Chaka stood like the proud King he was as he waited for his formidable bride to make her appearance. And when she did…Holy Bast. Even N'Jobu felt air rush out of his mouth when the Nkoli Clan stepped into the Royal Hall of the Ancestors. The family moved in tandem to the rhythm of their family song that was sung by their family griot, an older woman whose sweet voice echoed throughout the hall telling the world why Ramonda and her people were worthy of this union. Shoulders hips and feet danced the steps of their Clan as they moved closer to T'Chaka. All eyes were on the radiant figure in the back, Lady Ramonda Nikoli who was dripping with jewels, the thick locs of her hair swept back in a dramatic flourish with diamonds and amethysts braided into her tresses. Her dress was a soft cloud of purple and mauves and her face was…
N'Jobu turned away from looking directly at Ramonda in case any of the drones caught an improper facial expression. In Oakland parlance, Ramonda was a bad bitch. His brother might have met his match and then some.
The Udaku family griot was N'Jobu's cousin Didah, the youngest griot to facilitate a wedding in their lifetime. Didah held a large wooden staff and challenged The Nikoli griot in a call and response song battle that thrilled everyone present.
N'Jobu leaned into his brother and whispered, "Do not mess this up."
T'Chaka was waiting for his cue to sing the traditional call and response of the man to his future wife. Ramonda clearly was ready to do her part.
Their parents sat down next to them watching the entire ceremony. Umama had such pride on her face. T'Chaka was finally getting his family. She would probably have more grandchildren soon to keep her busy. N'Jobu glanced down at T'Challa who held the traditional red silk binding rope that he was charged with tying onto his father and new mother. He had practiced on N'Jobu and W'Kabi so many times to make sure he got it right. Draped in royal purple robes that matched his father's, N'Jobu could feel the excitement bubbling off his nephew. As always, he thought of his own son and wondered what Erik was doing at that moment. Practicing on his berimbau or sparring with his mother? Video games? Writing in his journal? Working on some new robot? Slumber party with Walter? Reading a new graphic novel? Sleeping? Wondering about the fantastic world he had stumbled across in his father's beads?
N'Jobu thought of Califia. Was her anger still burning in her heart? Would she forgive him and let him come home and accept the changes that would be coming for them? He missed her terribly. Missed his boy.
Didah raised her arm up toward T'Chaka as he walked down to meet Ramonda before the royal court. T'Challa walked with him, his grip on the red silk cord tight. Didah placed T'Chaka and Ramonda's hands together and they all watched T'Challa do the proper tie to bind them all as a family.
Regality was made for Ramonda and N'Jobu could see all the admiration for her from all the faces in the room. It was a good match. Umama had done well. Ramonda's eyes glanced at N'Jobu for a moment, and he gave her a slow nod. They were sister and brother now. Whatever she may have felt for him was dead.
The grin on T'Chaka's face made their father laugh.
"Look at him my love…if he smiles any harder his face will split int two!"
Umama slapped their father's hand but he clasped her fingers in hers and kissed her cheek which brought excited oohs and ahhs from the crowd who caught it. A priestess officiated the vows before the palace guests, and in a blink of an eye, T'Chaka, Ramonda, and T'Challa were rocking their shoulders as the people sang to them, blessing their union. N'Jobu sang with great feeling but his heart and mind were still back in Oakland.
When he was free to have a moment to himself before the reception, he tried calling Califia and Erik. No answer.
The nation of Wakanda witnessed the union of two families. N'Jobu harbored the fear of disunion in his own family.
"Uncle!"
T'Challa grabbed N'Jobu's hand when he arrived at the reception and dragged him to meet his new relatives. New cousins his own age. W'Kabi walked with them and sneaked glances at N'Jobu. He was fascinated with N'Jobu's suit of arms. As part of the wedding ceremony, T'Chaka asked that N'Jobu wear his military uniform to reflect the power of the Udaku family. His fits were formal military wear, and W'Kabi admired the uniform.
"W'Kabi, you seem to like what I have on."
"Yes, Your Highness. I want to wear a uniform like that one day."
His big eyes were enthralled that N'Jobu was speaking to him with informal words again.
"Maybe you will. Maybe you will follow in your father's footsteps, eh?"
The boy nodded until T'Challa grabbed his hand and pulled him into play with the Nikoli children. His nephew now had more children his age to play with. If Ramonda and T'Chaka had a child, they would be too young for T'Challa to pal around with. It was good to see his family circle expand. Whenever N'Jobu came home, T'Challa was under his feet every second of the day.
Lonely.
The boy was lonely.
It broke N'Jobu's heart. Things could be so different if Erik were there. They could—
He stopped himself. The path he was on was beyond that scenario. That fantasy.
Poor sheltered T'Challa. Stuck in a palace and groomed to take it one day, but so isolated. Even with W'Kabi living within the palace part-time wasn't enough to make the boy feel different. Their Uncle/Nephew talks consisted of questions about the outside world, but also time spent playing games one-on-one. T'Chaka had become a better father over the years, but there was still something lacking in their bond that made T'Challa look elsewhere for it. And that elsewhere was always N'Jobu. The emails and photos he received from his nephew on a secret chat link were constant. And now that the boy had reached full puberty, questions about girls and body parts were more frequent.
Perhaps T'Chaka had been so busy with Ramonda that he was missing the cues from his son. N'Jobu marveled at how conservative his brother was with T'Challa in all things having to do with relationships and bodily functions. Whereas Erik was never sheltered from sexuality or open talk about what happened behind closed doors (or not so closed doors), T'Chaka seemed embarrassed whenever T'Challa approached him about it.
If T'Challa caught T'Chaka kissing Ramonda, the King acted like it was a shameful thing to see. Erik had seen N'Jobu tongue his mother down so much, he was bored with it and found it corny.
It was just odd to N'Jobu that two brothers raised in the same palace could have such different ways of teaching their sons about becoming men sexually. They weren't raised like that and N'Jobu couldn't figure out why T'Chaka was that way now.
N'Jobu grabbed a glass of wine that drifted by on a floating platter that tracked the walls of the room. W'Kabi's father Tankiso made his way over N'Jobu. They stood a discreet distance from the crowd of onlookers.
"Your Highness. Any word on when we shall act?"
N'Jobu nodded.
"Klaue will inform me of his movements. You will know then," he said.
"Baba!"
W'Kabi saw his father and ran over to hug him.
"Your son was admiring my uniform. Although I think your own is much smarter than mine," N'Jobu said.
W'Kabi puffed up his chest with pride.
"W'Kabi, I think you should grow into the uniform of your father. He is an important man. Without him, my brother could not run the nation properly."
The boy's eyes were wide with adoring admiration.
Ululations rang out as dancing began in the coronation hall. Ramonda now wore the isicholo of a Queen, and she took on that new title with a flourish the moment it was placed on her head by Zinzi. Her shoulders seemed more thrown back. She clasped her hands in front her just like his mother did. There was a new haughtiness about her as she addressed people. She was made for this.
N'Jobu watched Ramonda dance with T'Challa. She loved the boy dearly. Spoiled him much to T'Chaka's chagrin. N'Jobu was glad of that. She twirled his nephew's hand and they promenaded down a line dance together. T'Challa was all smiles. Having lost his mother at birth, the maternal love Ramonda gave T'Challa made N'Jobu happy. The female power Ramonda exuded was exactly what the boy needed. The balance of a woman with great confidence and intelligence united with his father.
As the night grew longer and more celebrating commenced, N'Jobu took his leave.
"Prince N'Jobu. Where are you going? You haven't danced with me yet."
Ramonda's sharp eyes watched him.
Other eyes watched them as well.
Things were different now.
N'Jobu's eyes darted about and they landed on Zinzi for a split second. Zinzi cut her eyes at Ramonda.
"My Queen," N'Jobu said with a slight bow.
Ramonda was now above him in status. He couldn't refuse her without causing a scene. He didn't want to dance. He wanted to retire to his quarters and call his woman.
T'Challa ran up and pushed him toward Ramonda and the guests laughed. N'Jobu took Ramonda's hand and led her to the grand ballroom floor.
"So now we are truly family at last," Ramonda whispered.
N'Jobu kept his hands on her limp and polite. The orchestra played a traditional march that required very little movement.
"Are you happy?" he asked.
"Very. My life has become truly richer. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful son. And a brooding brother."
Her eyes latched onto his.
"Come home. Take your place by his side."
He shook his head and looked over at his brother and nephew watching the spectacle of the reception.
"Take care of them. For me. And my parents. They have been so alone together that it is hard for them to connect to others. My brother needs you, but my nephew needs you the most. Be an extraordinary mother for him. Promise me that."
Her eyes regarded him with concern.
"I will raise T'Challa to be a good man—"
"Like his father—"
"And you. He loves you so much, Prince N'Jobu."
N'Jobu turned his head. A tear escaped his eye. Ramonda saw it. She hugged him tight, causing them to stop dancing.
N'Jobu broke away from her and nearly ran to his suite.
###
Panic didn't set in for N'Jobu until Califia became evasive about where she was and when she was coming back in her text messages.
Up until the moment he touched back down on American soil, N'Jobu had been under the impression that he and Califia could work things out since she and Erik now knew about the real Wakanda.
They often traveled out of state when he was overseas, and he figured she would travel a lot to be around family and friends while they worked through their rough patch. It wasn't until six weeks had passed, the month he was gone and the two weeks he was back, that N'Jobu suspected that something was wrong. Califia had taken Erik out of school for far longer than his Spring Break.
The shock of it knocked him for a loop. None of her friends or family, including Bakari could tell them where they were. All his calls to her went to voicemail. He couldn't track them at all, not even Erik's cell. His only guess was that she had to be on the East Coast. Nana Jean had called relatives in Atlanta for him, and that woman never lied about anything. She was upset and Dante wanted answers as to why his daughter was avoiding her man.
Being in Oakland was tense. He leaned on James for a lot of support. The man was practically living with N'Jobu in his apartment. With Klaue ready to act, N'Jobu did not need this family crisis looming over him. He needed Califia and Erik with him in case he had to move out fast. He needed to set the world for them and get them on board. Once he had the vibranium, the planet would tilt on a new axis.
He bought a plane ticket to D.C.
The only way to get answers was to confront his friend in person.
One thing Bakari could never do was lie to N'Jobu in his face.
The cab ride was slow and hot and by the time he arrived at Bakari and Shavonnes's house, N'Jobu knew there were two things that had to happen. Bakari telling him where his family was willingly. Or Bakari telling him with the use of force.
Bakari's new house was located in a D.C. suburb. They were doing well. Shavonne's lobbying gig and Bakari's law career kept them comfortable in the upper class. Their house was solid rich brick with a cultivated yard and two fancy cars in the driveway.
He knocked on the door.
"N'Jobu!"
Shavonne's face showed sincere surprise and joy at seeing him. She hugged him tight and pulled him inside their home.
"Yo man! What are you doing here!"
Bakari ran down the stairs and practically jumped in N'Jobu's arms. Both their faces showed no trace of concern seeing him there.
"I need to talk to you," N'Jobu said.
The serious tone in his voice didn't crack any façade in Bakari's expression.
"What's going on? Cali and Erik with you?"
"No. I don't know where they are."
"What?" Shavonne said pulling on N'Jobu's arm.
"I haven't heard from or seen them in weeks. I thought maybe they came here and you were keeping their stay a secret."
Bakari's face stayed open. N'Jobu detected no bullshit from him.
"Damn man. I didn't know…I thought…let's go in the den. Shavonne, babe, could you bring us some beers?"
Shavonne took N'Jobu's jacket and grabbed the duffle bag he carried.
Following Bakari into the den, N'Jobu kept his guard up.
"Sit down," Bakari said.
He turned off the giant wall screen that had been playing a baseball game. N'Jobu clasped his hands together and tried to keep his voice steady.
"I have to find them—"
"Y'all been having problems like that, man? Cali ain't the type to run off from a fight…I mean…what exactly is going on with you two?"
"I just…we have some fundamental differences with our home life right now and we haven't been able to come together."
Shavonne handed them cans of beer and sat next to Bakari.
"I just can't believe she'd just take Erik and not tell you anything," Bakari said.
N'Jobu opened his beer and drank.
"What is the problem, N'Jobu?" Shavonne asked.
"We have some cultural differences and we're butting heads—"
"Cultural differences? Nigga, you act more American than me," Bakari blurted.
"It involves Erik and how we're raising him…"
N'Jobu left it at that. They both seemed to believe him, especially when he mentioned Erik.
"I've called everyone, her father and grandmother have too. You are the closest person to her. If she hasn't told you anything, I don't know where else to go."
"I put your bag in the guest room. Let's have dinner and then we can figure out something. Bakari?" Shavonne said. She looked at Bakari with a hopeful expression and N'Jobu latched onto that sense of hope.
"Sounds good," N'Jobu said.
He checked his phone wishing that Califia would reach out to him.
He had to find them.
Soon.
###
Califia felt such relief watching Erik laugh with Cedric's children as they ate ice cream and walked outside of the movie theater. The film was a success and Erik looked a lot different with a smile on his face.
They returned to Cedric's family cottage for a nightcap. It was within walking distance of Ayanna's house and the children went into a bedroom to watch a streaming service for the Disney channel. She and Cedric could hear an animated action flick going, and even though Erik was mentally ahead of most children, he still enjoyed watching animated cartoons. Cedric's son and daughter asked Erik questions and their excited voices bounced around as the movie went on. She could hear Erik explaining the different characters, and the more she heard, the more she knew they were watching something with robots or transformers.
Califia sat with Cedric on his couch and they talked about their lives in general and what they had been up to since their last run-in. They drank wine and Califia felt loose and good for once. They fell into easy banter and Cedric moved in closer to her as they knocked back another new bottle. Laughing about old times Califia was startled to see Erik watching them from behind the couch. His eyes were narrow and his lips were tightly pressed together.
"Hey baby, what's up, you guys okay back there?" she asked.
Erik's eyes drifted over to Cedric.
"I'm ready to go," he said.
"We'll go soon. I'm still talking with Cedric."
She saw her son's lips downturn into a scowl she didn't like.
"Can I just go? I can walk back on my own."
"I said we'll leave in a bit. Go on back there with the kids—"
"You want something to drink, Erik? I have soda and juice. I can bring you all some potato chips to snack on—"
"I just want to go. You can stay here with him if you want-"
"Outside!"
Califia jumped off the couch and gave Cedric an apologetic look. She stormed out onto the small porch and Erik sauntered out with his lips poked out and his eyes challenging her.
This Lil nigga…
"I've let that mouth of yours slide for the last few days, but now it's going to stop. When I tell you to do something, you do it."
His eyes didn't back down from hers and at that moment, he was more like her than anyone else.
"I'm sick of your behavior—"
"I'm sick of being here," he said. Those fucking eyes of his. N'Jobu all the way.
"I don't care!"
His lip trembled when she shouted at him, and she saw his eyes well up.
"Erik…Erik…!"
He ran from her and she followed him. He didn't head for Ayanna's but the beach instead. Against a bloodred sunset, Califia chased after her son as he ran toward the sand and headed for the water.
"Erik! Stop!"
He was barely in the water before she grabbed for his arm and yanked him back to the sand. She spun him around to face her and he tried to pry her hands off of him. She couldn't believe how ferocious he was, like a cat gone berserk. When he scratched her hard, she let go and watched him take on a fighting stance. The fuck?
She circled him carefully. His chest heaved and his body shook with adrenalin.
Califia rolled her neck and jumped up twice before kicking her leg out toward him.
"Let's go," she said as her body swayed low.
He was wound up too tight and so was she. It was best to fight it out in a safe way for them.
The look on his face was one of surprise. He backed up from her.
"Nah…don't stop now. You got fire in your belly. Let's work it out. You're mad at me. Upset with what I'm doing…"
Her hands moved forward and back and she inched in closer to him. His eyes glanced down at her feet. He knew she was deadly with them if he didn't watch out. He'd had his share of knockdowns from her speed when they played in the past. She needed him to play with her. Work through his anger with her.
"Come for me, JaJa. You don't want to talk to me with a respectful mouth, then you can talk with your hands. That's what you really want, right?"
"No. I just want Baba."
"Baba is still traveling—"
"You're lying. I can see it in your face, Mom."
"I'm not ready for us to go back home."
"Why not? What did Baba do that was so bad?"
"I'm just trying to figure what is best for us."
"All of us?"
Califia stood up straight and put her hands on her hips.
"You and me, JaJa. Just you and me."
"You want to divorce my father?"
"I didn't say that."
"Can't you figure out stuff back home with him? He'll be worried…he'll be scared…"
Califia closed her eyes.
"I'm scared," she said.
"Of Baba?"
She nodded her head and Erik walked up to her and hugged her waist.
"Why Mom?"
"Your father is not the man…I don't know who he really is Erik. His home…Wakanda. All of it scares me. "
"He's Baba. My father. Your husband."
"He's more than that."
"I know. He loves us, Mom. You shouldn't be scared of his home. Or him. He comes from an awesome place and we could go there…"
She stroked Erik's hair.
"I need more time away, okay? I'll figure out what to do—"
"No!"
Erik pushed away from her and she saw his hands were balled into fists.
"Let's go back to Cedric's. Let me finish talking to him and you hang out with his kids, and then tomorrow we'll talk about going home. Okay? I just need tonight to talk with my friend and then—"
"He doesn't look at you like a friend Mom!"
"JaJa-"
"He's not your friend. Not how you want him to be—"
"JaJa…baby…please just let me talk with him and then we can go?"
Her son's eyes were straight fire. He kicked a bit of sand, but then he looked at her.
"Okay."
"I promise we'll leave soon."
She reached out a hand to him and Erik took it. She squeezed it tight as they walked back to the cottage together.
"Things okay?" Cedric asked once they made it back.
Califia nodded with as much confidence as she could muster. Erik stood next to her glaring at Cedric.
"I have chips," Cedric said holding out a large bowl of Doritos.
Erik glanced at Califia then grabbed the bowl and took it back into the bedroom with the children.
"Is…?"
"We are struggling. But it'll be okay. You know, pre-teen shit. Get ready for it."
They sat back down on the couch and drank more wine.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Hell no. I want to talk about Albert. What has he been up to?"
"Get some more wine because it's a doozy," Cedric joked.
Califia listened for the children. They were quiet but a new movie was on.
"Alright, tell me everything," she said.
###
N'Jobu stacked dishes in the dishwasher of Bakari's kitchen then stretched his back. The meal of corned beef and fried cabbage was good and he felt better being around his dear friends. He pondered going for a jog and listening to music to distract himself when his cell rang. It was a number he didn't recognize.
"Hello?"
"Baba?"
"Erik!"
N'Jobu lowered his voice and headed up the stairs to the guest bedroom. Bakari and Shavonne were watching another ball game in the den.
"Son, where are you?"
N'Jobu's phone chirped and he saw an address pop up that Erik sent him.
"Hold on, don't hang up!"
He traced the address through his phone.
Martha's Vineyard.
"Is your mother there with you?"
"Yes. We've been here for two weeks. She won't let me talk to you. Why Baba? I don't know what's going on—"
"JaJa, don't let her know you talked to me. I'm going to fly out there and get you."
"I'm using her friend's phone. I took it from his jacket—"
"Who is this friend?"
"Mr. Cedric…"
N'Jobu couldn't believe it. She took their son to another man's home?
"I have to put the phone back, Baba—"
"The address you sent me. Is this where you are at right now?"
"No."
"Will you be going back to that address?"
"Yes. Mom is talking to him in the living room. I'm watching another movie with his kids. I'm in the bathroom right now. I have to go back."
"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Hurry, Baba. I don't want to stay here anymore. Mom says she's scared of you…"
N'Jobu could hear Erik getting worked up.
"Calm down, son. Everything will be fine. I'm going to hang up now. Remember, don't say anything to your Mom. I don't want her to leave with you if she knows I'm coming. Do you understand?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Put the phone back and go watch the movie—"
"Baba?"
"Yes, my son?"
"I miss you…and I love you…bye!"
N'Jobu held his phone to his chest and breathed in deep. They were fine. Safe.
But why would Califia be scared of him?
N'Jobu grabbed his duffle bag from the guest bed and ran down the stairs.
"Erik just called me. They are in Martha's Vineyard—"
Bakari snapped his fingers.
"Oak Bluffs. She's probably at—"
"Ayanna's," Shavonne finished for him.
"Ayanna?"
"Dr. Ayanna Youngblood. An old family friend," Bakari said.
"Don't call her. I'm going to fly out and get them. Erik sounded worried."
Bakari took out his phone.
"This is Ayanna's number and address—"
"Erik gave me the address."
"Why is he calling you and not Califia?"
"I don't know."
"I'll give you a ride to the airport," Bakari said grabbing his keys and kissing Shavonne on her cheek.
"Thanks."
"I should come with you—"
"No. It'll be fine—"
"What the fuck is going on with y'all? Shit don't sound on the up and up."
"I'll have her call you when I get there."
"Work this shit out. Y'all have a son who needs you. Put that boy first."
"We will."
###
Califia woke up with a hangover so bad it took her two hours just to move her head from her pillow to check the time on her cell sitting on the nightstand. Erik was curled up on her belly, his head pressing down on her bladder.
"Jaja, move over. I need to pee."
She stumbled out of bed and it took her a few bumps into a dresser and hallway table and an oddly placed sculpture to realize she was not in Ayanna's house but still in Cedric's.
She could smell bacon and eggs cooking and heard a video game being played on the wall screen in the living room. Barely making it to the bathroom, Califia voided her bladder and then stared at her face in the bathroom mirror. Rough. Who beat up her face in the middle of the night? Oh, yeah…two bottles of expensive wine.
"Hey, Cali."
Cedric poked his head out of the kitchen.
"We stayed here? I thought we walked back to the house?"
"You started to, but you were in no shape and neither was I to drive you. I just put you and Erik in my room."
"Thanks. My head is ringing."
"Wake Erik and come eat."
Califia moved sloth-like into Cedric's bedroom and shook Erik.
"JaJa. C'mon, wake up. Cedric cooked us breakfast."
Erik rolled over and stretched his legs.
"Get up," she said while throwing herself back on the bed.
Erik crawled off the bed and she heard him go into the bathroom. Her cell phone buzzed on the nightstand but she ignored it.
Erik walked out of the bedroom and put on his shoes.
"Let's go, Mom."
"Eat first," Califia mumbled as she pulled a pillow over her head.
"You promised we would go back to Ayanna's."
Her cell buzzed again.
"We will…"
Erik stalked out of the bedroom and Califia reached for her phone as she dragged herself off the bed again. Staring at her burner phone she saw Ayanna's number. She followed Erik out of the room as Cedric's children ran into the kitchen to find seats at the dining table. She swiped her phone and stared at Cedric's face as he took in her hungover appearance.
"Ayanna…"
Movement on the porch caught Califia's attention. She could see a large shadow looming behind the frosted glass in the door window.
"Califia, Erik's father…"
The knock on the front door made Califia's blood freeze. Her eyes sought out Erik and he was already running to the front door when he saw the shape in the window.
"JaJa…wait!"
Erik flung the door open and Califia felt her stomach drop when she saw N'Jobu standing there. His eyes fell upon Erik as their son ran and jumped into his arms.
"Baba!"
Erik's voice was a shrill cry and Califia felt all the pain and anguish she had caused her son by keeping him away from his father. She felt ashamed and even more frightened when N'Jobu's eyes captured hers. The smile on his face he had for his son seemed cold when it turned on her.
N'Jobu gripped Erik tight, their son's legs wrapped around his waist tight.
Cedric watched N'Jobu and Erik, and his eyes sought hers with confusion.
"I'm here," N'Jobu said rocking Erik who began to cry so hard that Califia felt her heart weaken. What had she done?
"I'm taking him," N'Jobu said.
He comforted Erik as best he could.
"Why is Erik crying Daddy?"
Cedric's daughter Rebecca leaned against him as she stared at Erik on N'Jobu.
"Go back in the kitchen, Sweetheart," Cedric said.
"I have his things from Ayanna's, we're flying out—"
"N'Jobu wait—"
"Califia?"
Ayanna was still on the phone.
"I'm here—"
"Is he there?"
"Yes."
"I didn't tell him—"
"I know. I have to go."
She swiped her phone and tucked it in the loose jeans she still had on from the night before.
"We're leaving."
The finality of his voice forced Califia to move.
Erik dropped down from his father's arms and N'Jobu grabbed his hand and took him out of the house.
"Let me explain!"
She jumped in front him trying to keep Erik in sight.
"What is there to explain? You took our son clear across the country, told me nothing of your plans, and I find you in the home of an ex? My son calls me terrified because he doesn't understand what you are doing? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Where are you taking him?"
"Away from you! We're flying back to Oakland."
Her stomach lurched. He could be lying. He could take her son to another world if he wanted. Her fears were manifesting right before her.
"Get out of my way."
His eyes were hot dark coals glaring at her.
"You called him Erik?"
She did her best to keep from crying, but she felt the leaking in her eyes.
"I used Mr. Cedric's phone when you were with him."
N'Jobu's head tilted and Califia held her hands up.
"We were talking, N'Jobu. The kids were in the next room watching a movie and we were talking in the living room—"
"I don't give a fuck what you were doing. Move out of my way."
"I'm coming with you—"
N'Jobu opened a rental car door and put Erik into the front passenger seat.
"I need to get my stuff from Ayanna's….N'Jobu…stop! Let me get my things—"
"I'm going on the ferry now and then the airport. Find your own way."
"Wait! N'Jobu, dammit…just wait a minute!"
She could see Erik crying in the passenger seat as he watched them argue.
"Erik, get out of the car!"
She slapped her hand on the hood.
"I have no idea of what is going through that thick head of yours, Califia. You should've talked to me. You had no right to just take him like this!"
"You can't take him either—"
"Watch me!"
N'Jobu jumped into the driver seat and started the car.
"Erik!"
Her son cradled his face in his hands.
N'Jobu backed the car out and Califia ran as fast as she could to Ayanna's house.
"I need a ride to the ferry. He's leaving with Erik. I have to be on that ferry with him!"
Ayanna watched her run around and pack her things in a whirling ball of confusion and angst.
"What airline is he taking?"
"I don't know!"
"Let's just get to the ferry first."
Within minutes she had her luggage together.
"He just came here asking for you and I told him I didn't know where you were. He asked for Erik's things…and…I just gave them to him. He had this way about him and I just did what he wanted—"
"It's okay, Ayanna."
The drive there was erratic and when they reached the ferry, Califia saw that she had missed the launch. The next ferry wasn't leaving for another hour. She stood on the pier and watched the boat Erik and N'Jobu were on. They had a head start and she had no idea where they were headed.
She tried calling N'Jobu's number on her burner, but he wouldn't answer. She dug into her suitcase and brought out her regular cell and put it back together. It took some time to charge it using Ayanna's car charger as they waited for the next ferry.
Calling him again she was shocked but happy that he picked up.
"N'Jobu…N'Jobu…"
Her voice sounded so weak.
"We'll be flying on a Delta flight to Oakland. I'll text you the flight details—"
"Wait for me—"
"No. Erik is going to stay with me until you get your shit together."
He hung up.
The salt of the sea, the soft breeze of the wind, and the touch of sunlight on her face were the last things she remembered before she buried her face in Ayanna's neck and bawled like a baby.
She had lost her man and her child.