TRIGGER WARNING: There's a small mention of a very problematic behavior between the three consecutive lines. Its nothing that isn't made known in the game, but if you think you might get triggered by it, either skip it or be prepared in case it triggers a crisis. Be safe, okay? There are some behaviors that are specially contagious and this is one of them.

Chapter 24: Road trip~ Off Road!

"So Bella, I hear your time has been much on demand lately"

I looked up, startled. I'd been refilling my bottles and hadn't notice the assassin sneak up on me. It was an alarming thought.

"Eh, not as much as you'd think. It's just that Wynne is taking my magic training very seriously, so I have to as well" I grimaced "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it very much. Its just super tiring, but complaining after she's accepted my request is just too shameless"

Zevran chuckled "Shameless, is it? I find it easier that way myself, but to each his own, I suppose"

I laughed awkwardly "That's cause you're a lone wolf, buddy"

He arched an eyebrow "An interesting phrase. I dare say not completely unfounded, in this case, but what does that have to do with shamelessness?"

I set aside the newly refilled bottle and reached for another one "Well, you know how some animals, such as cats, are lone hunters? As opposed to, say, wolves, who are pack animals"

Zevran hummed, and asked me to go on.

"Shame, like every other emotion, serves a purpose. It prevents us pack animals from doing something that might get us expelled from our packs, facing a higher probability of death and an altogether harsher way of life" I gathered my watery loot and stood, facing Zev "Loners who don't need a pack have an underdeveloped sense of shame, simply because it isn't necessary"

Zevran hummed again, taking half of the bottles from me and motioning for us to sit on a nearby rock formation "So what you are saying is I'm a loner, yes? And therefore, I feel no shame"

"I wouldn't say no shame" I sat down, legs crossed, next to him, turning a bit to face him properly "Just that you've had to develop certain skills in order to survive and thrive in the environment you grew up in. And unless I miss my mark" I grinned a little at the accidental pun "Shame wasn't something all that useful to you, so you somewhat adapted to not feeling it as much as I might have. Morrigan, living a mostly secluded life, hasn't either, for example. Whereas Kallian has, growing up in the Alienage"

"That makes some sense" he admitted. I tried not to take offense. It made perfect sense from an evolutionary point of view. Don't mess with Papa Darwin. Of course, a deep sited adaptation process took thousands and thousands of years, so I guess it was more accurate to say Zev had adapted more from learning experiences. Which explains why, although watered down, he was still capable of experiencing shame.

"So I see its true. You do know of our pasts"

I squinted at him as he spoke. Zev was the very picture of nonchalance. I couldn't see even a crack of discomfort in his semblance, but logic told me it had to be there. Despite his open personality, I thought of him as a rather private person.

"I know some things" I answered, evasively.

Zev gave me a sidelong glance "Such as?"

Ha! Permission granted "I know you grew up in a brothel until you were b-bought by a group of Antivan Crows" I frowned a little. I'd decided bluntness was the way to go with Zevran but as expected, speaking aloud of how the person in front of me was literally bought was not so easy "You teamed up with two other members, until–"

"Stop"

I clamped my mouth shut. The look Zevran was giving me had me shivering, before my head cooled down at once.

So Combat Tactics activated. Damn.

That made fucking angry.

"What, you going to get me shot again?"

He blinked, thrown off by my suddenly going on the offensive. And just like that, the mood shifted.

He smiled again, as if nothing had happened "Ah, I see you are still cross over that. Do forgive me, it was nothing personal"

This asshole. He was a dangerous one. Though I already knew that, seeing it was a whole different experience.

I gave him a hard stare and, despite Combat Tactics, a trickling of fear made its way through the pit that was my stomach. The anger hadn't faded though, and I like to think that's what made me ballsy enough to continue.

I unhinged my jaw "I know what you were mislead to do. I know you showed no mercy. I know why you took the job to kill the Wardens"

BALL. SY.

His smile was gone once more, replaced by the most neutral look you could imagine. The way he looked at me, though, made me wish I'd invested another point in Combat Tactics. Or else one less point, so I wouldn't have dared to push him like this.

The silence that followed was charged enough to be asphyxiating. I resisted the urge to cast Rock Armor, with difficulty, and kept my gaze level. I don't think I did a good job in hiding the fear I felt.

Eventually, amazingly, Zevran looked away first.

I took in a shaky breath, head dropping. Good God.

"So you know"

My eyes snapped back to him, but he hadn't moved at all. His voice deceptively soft.

I managed a trembling "Yes"

His answering laugh was more than a little jarring "And you condemn me as well"

I kept my breathing steady. The moment had passed; the skill no longer in effect. So I had to rely on my more mundane skills to keep calm.

Space

Space

Space

"There's no need for me to do something you already do yourself" my face fell then, remembering the reason he sought the contract on the Wardens, draining all the fight right out of me "Zev you… you gave your life to Kallian. You can't kill yourself because your life isn't just yours anymore. You said so yourself"

Zevran turned to me, mildly surprised "Are you trying to convince me to live? Truly?"

"I'm trying to convince you to keep your word! You said you'd keep helping Kallian!" I stopped, realizing my voice had grown louder.

Breathe, Maya.

Space

Space

Space

It was my turn to look away, staring at my hands instead of his searching, caramel eyes "This is a story I've lived many times. I know it sounds weird, because it was a make believe story. But I came to know all of you. And you know, it isn't that out of the ordinary to be emotionally involved with characters from a story. Happens all the time. I met you a long time ago" I shrugged "I came to care about you as I got to know you"

My checks were hot, as if I was confessing my undying and unhealthy love for him instead of the simple feeling of caring for another huma– person.

The silence that followed was uncomfortable, but in a different way than before. At least this fear wasn't the holy shit I don't wanna die like the previous one.

"I'm sorry"

I met his gaze, my brows furrowing. What, was he rejecting me or something? Oh God, he hadn't misunderstood me, had he?

"For scaring you just now. It was rather unfair of me"

Oh.

"And" he continued "For having you shot. Granted, it was business, but I am sorry, nevertheless. I suppose I will have to make it up to you and our dashing leader in the future, yes?"

I felt my lips tugging into a small smile "Okay"

After the emotional roller coaster that was my conversation with Zevran, I decided I needed a break from the continuous psychological punches. And so, I stuck to Kallian, Leliana, Wynne and Zevran. All the people I had already covered. My safe guys.

Of course that only lasted for so long; more specifically, until the Wicked Witch of the Swamp cornered me while I was bathing in a stream one morning.

"What is it with you people?" I complained as I tried to cover myself underwater "At least Leliana played it classy. Who barges in on someone like this?"

"You left me no choice" said Morrigan, unrepentant as she stared down at me, fully clothed from the riverbank "You kept avoiding me. Tis' you who brought this on yourself"

I made a face somewhere between a grimace and a I can't believe you're this dumb.

"Ugh, just wait for me to be done, okay? I'll come find you" You crazy bitch.

She arched a queenly eyebrow.

"I will! Promise!"

"I will be waiting. Do not, think of running again"

And off she went.

Jesus Christ Superstar.

I took my time before getting out. Petty, I know, but screw Morrigan.

I walked back to camp while toweling my short hair dry -these microfiber towels were the bomb-, intent on keeping my promise when Morrigan intercepted me.

"You weren't thinking on running, were you?"

I scoffed softly "Of course not" I made a sign for her to wait as I put my stuff back in the tent, then walked back and motioned for her to lead the way.

You know, Morrigan was rather dangerous. And she was leading to a place away from camp and deep into the forest.

Hmm.

Morrigan looked over her shoulder "Come along now"

Said the spider to the fly.

We walked by Alistair as he returned to camp from doing who knows what. He took one look at the situation and mouthed 'Scream if you need help'

'Thanks man' I mouthed back.

We kept walking until Morrigan suddenly turned on her heel, eyes thunderous, making me almost stumble into her.

"What do you know?"

"Cows can kick sideways"

"…what?"

"Also, kangaroos can't hop backwards. Oh! And capybaras are nature's biggest rodent"

Wow. If looks could kill.

"Cease your babbling! Do not test me, little girl. You will tell me what you know"

"…or?"

"I told you to cease–"

"No no, I got that part. I'm just waiting for the threat. There's usually a threat attached to an 'or'. Do this or consequence"

I could literally feel the air come alive with magic. Like it was dormant before and it was just waking up, responding to the mage's ire.

Alright, maybe riling her up like that wasn't my smartest move. But Combat Tactics had activated -again- as soon as she began talking. I was so done with being threatened by my companions.

"Morrigan, honestly, in all the time you've known me, when has being aggressive worked to get what you wanted from me?"

She looked at me, the picture of calmness. But thanks to Wynne's teachings, there was fooling no me. I could still feel the air charged full of her magic.

Now, I knew a few things for sure. Morrigan didn't know if I knew her secret, but she suspected it. So to her, I was dangerous because I could potentially ruin her plan. However, if she killed me right this moment, her plan with definitely fail. There was no way the rest of the gang would welcome her with open arms if she returned without me.

I also knew she was one smart cookie.

So I took a gamble. I walked away.

I gritted my teeth. Fucking hell, please don't shoot.

"Wait"

Oh thank God.

I stopped and looked back at her.

She seemed to struggle with something, then let it go "I would make a bargain. Tell me all that you know about me and I shall give you another lesson. You seem to be learning still from the old bat. Let me assure you, I can teach you magic she could never imagine existed" Unlike the begging of her speech, the ending was all confidence.

I wondered if she remembered she already owed me a lesson. Then again, I still owed her a question myself.

"I would rather trade a question for a question" her eyes turned hard again "Not any of your big dark secrets, I promise. It's something more… mundane than that"

She mulled it over "Very well. You may ask first"

Ah, she was so nice.

"Fine. What the hell happened between us?"

She raised an eyebrow "Us? I did not realize there was an 'us'"

I rolled my eyes "You know what? Yes, I though there was an 'us'. I thought we got along. Maybe even as friends. Next thing I know, you're taking every chance you get to make a jibe at me. Hell, you really pushed it back in Redcliffe. What was that all about?"

Morrigan blinked "I…"

I waited

"You what?" I snapped, patience basically fried.

Her gaze sharpened at my tone "I did not think–!" She clamped her mouth shut again.

Seconds trickled by, but still, Morrigan wouldn't utter a word.

I looked down, sadder than I though I would be.

"Fine" I muttered, turning on my heel again.

"Wait!" She said, just like before. But this time, I could hear something extra in her tone. Fearful. Maybe even a little desperate.

What I saw when I dared another look at her, was something I'd only seen in the game. Morrigan had her head slightly down, her shoulders hunched and eyes shut tightly.

She looked vulnerable.

Before I could even think of what to say, she snapped her eyes open and regarded me with those unsettling yet captivating yellow eyes of hers.

"I had never been called a friend before"

…

What?

She was looking at me, like that explained everything.

"I'm… sorry, I don't follow" I scratched the back of my neck "Did I cross some kind of line or…?"

Her eyes narrowed "You did. I had never been called a friend before" she repeated "Yet you did so without a shred of thought behind it. Do you have any idea how long it took to come to terms with such casually said words? And when I finally decide you might have been truthful, and it wasn't a ploy of yours, you come back a shell of your former self" she all but spat the last part.

…

Oh my God.

Wait wait, back up. So she thought I was somehow tricking her with a -no doubt- overcomplicated plot by calling her a friend? And when she finally ruminated enough about it and decided to trust me, I… what? Disappointed her by not being strong enough? Or maybe she thought she'd lose me somehow after just beginning to open up to me?

I had no clue, but I did have a feeling that asking her right now would only lead to pushing her too much. She was already showing more vulnerability than I'd ever seen outside of the game. I couldn't validate the last part, because I wasn't even sure what it was all about; but I wasn't letting her hard work today go without giving it its due credit.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize the effort you were making in trusting me. I did think of you as a friend. I still do. If its okay with you, I'd like it if we could try to… just, get along again" I smiled ruefully "Unfortunately, I don't have the mind reading ability" Yet "So if you don't tell me when I do something that ups– that bothers you, I won't know. So if you can promise to try and tell me when something's not going well on your end, instead of lashing out at me, I can promise to sit my butt down and listen to you until I understand what went wrong"

I took a step towards her, making sure to look her in the eyes with all the sincerity I could muster.

She looked so very troubled, I couldn't help but think she was cute. Morrigan. Cute.

Wonders never cease.

"Very well" she finally said, slowly "I shall attempt this. Know that if you betray me, I will not let you off easily"

Sigh. She just had to cover up her tracks, huh?

"Noted"

I might be fooling myself, but I would bet a decent amount of money that there was a small, satisfied smile on her face.

"Now. Your part of the bargain. 'Tis your turn to tell me what I wish to know"

Then again, maybe not.

I leaned my weigh on one foot, hip jutting "Well… I know about the Old God Baby Plan. Which I have no intention of telling anyone" I quickly added when she looked like she might lose it right then.

"And why would you keep my secret?" She asked suspiciously.

"Cause I don't want neither Kallian nor Alistair to die" I answered truthfully.

She contemplated my words carefully "So you truly know the effects of the dark ritual"

"I do truly know" I said teasingly.

But Morrigan wasn't paying attention to me anymore. Rather, she seemed deep in though about something, her hand positioned under her chin in a classic thinker pose.

"Would you…?" She began, then corrected herself "No. Just do not interfere with my plans. And should you tell anyone, I will find out"

I blinked owlishly at her "I ain't"

I'd kinda spilled the beans to Duncan already, though.

Whoops.

"Shall we get back to camp then, buddy?"

She harrumphed, but came along willingly.

Man, I could never tell her I couldn't remember when exactly I'd called her a friend.

Tee hee~

Emotionally spent -again- I foolishly thought I might have at least a day before I got called on again.

Boy, was I wrong.

That very night, a tall, blonde and handsome man was waiting for me beside my tent.

"Maya, I swear on the Maker, you're not getting away from me this time"

Too bad it was for the wrong reasons.

Sooo... yeah. I'm a little late. This week has been hell at work and it isn't over yet. I was planning on getting Alistair's part in there too, but I'll just begin with that next chapter and continue with the main story from there.

Btw, this chapter counts as a January chapter, okay? I'm getting two more out in February. No more procrastinating, promise to try.

Thanks for reading! And for the lovely comments, they made this week bearable.