30. Open Hearts
Goji went to bed on Monday night anxious and dreading the next day. It was odd, then, to wake peacefully in the morning. For a quiet moment, she thought she was in a pleasant dream. Her clock's soft red screen read 5:42 and she felt rested instead of ragged from nightmares. She lay motionless in bed as if one twitch would bring the panic cloud down around her head. It didn't come, and it didn't come.
Near 6:00 she sat up and took a long breath. She wasn't herself, but her stomach didn't churn with fear. Neither was she paralyzed by headlong racing thoughts. She felt lighter – light enough to get up, dress, and eat toast without nausea or shaking hands. She lingered too long and knew she'd probably be late, but she'd been late so much that it hardly mattered.
Outside, the sky was a pale, cloudless blue that turned bright and gold as the sun rose over the offing. Goji watched it around buildings and trees on the drive to work. It made the clinic shine like a diamond.
Ruby was waiting for her as usual. "Good morning," she greeted with a smile. "How're you feeling today? Little better?"
"A little."
"I was hopeful. You looked perkier yesterday."
"I did?"
"Mhm. And look – it's going to be a beautiful day. I'm proud of you, baby girl. You stuck with it through the worst."
"I don't want to get my hopes up."
"But that's exactly what you should do. Hope is strong medicine."
Not strong enough for Mom, Goji thought.
Through her shift, she waited for her mood to change. She had no appetite by lunch, but neither had she fallen into a panic attack. It was a miracle given how many scenarios for Sera's release occupied her mind. There was no word from Callie on whether Marie would be there. Even without Marie, going to Agency HQ was always a test of mettle. She prayed it would be as simple and quick as Callie promised.
Ruby met her at the end of the day while she gathered her things from her locker.
"You did well today."
"Thanks."
"Tomorrow will be even better. Got any plans tonight? You look like you're in a hurry."
"I'm going to see Serashura," Goji said. "It's been too long since we caught up."
"Good! Getting out and about is healthy. Let me know how the kid's doing, okay?"
"I will."
Sera was outside when Goji arrived, pacing by the dry bushes at her building's door. She sat like a coiled spring in the passenger seat.
"Thank you for coming," she muttered.
"Are you ready?"
"I never wanted to return to that place," Sera said, wringing her shirttail. "But it is better than the secret police making a scene here. Word would travel fast."
"I understand. I'll be right beside you the whole time."
"If they allow you."
"They will."
Sera watched the sunset as they pulled onto Harbor Avenue and headed for Agency HQ. "Mia and Dr. Nashov will be there tonight?"
"I don't think so. It will probably be just a few agents."
"I see." It seemed to disquiet her more.
Sera sat up straight and tense when the steel-and-glass wedge of HQ came into view. Goji felt her own nerves worsen; the sick feeling in her stomach shot straight up to her heart. What if Marie was there after all? What if Nagisa herself made an appearance? Surely she had enough sense not to mention Goji's past with Sera present. One hint of her time as Agent Three would be enough to shatter Sera's glasslike trust. The girl couldn't know until long after this unpleasantness was over.
Sera studied her. "You are apprehensive too."
Goji forced a smile. "I don't like being here either, but it'll be okay. I promise."
Following Callie's instructions, Goji approached HQ's staff entrance. She showed her driver's license to the officer in the guardhouse who wordlessly waved her though. Nothing had changed since her last day here. Cement glowed white under halogen lights. Chain link and barbed wire surrounded the compound. Beside her, Sera's hooks bristled.
"This looks like a prison."
"It's to keep people out, not in." Goji spotted two figures standing by the entrance and parked a safe distance away. Callie, on the left, wore her mantle teal and hid her face behind wide sunglasses. The one on the right was shorter and slouched against the wall. Hana hadn't changed her bob style since they ran missions together. "Here we go. Try to relax. We'll be okay." It was as much for her own reassurance as Sera's. The Octoling trailed behind her as they approached the agents.
Callie raised a hand in greeting. "Right on time. We can keep this short."
"You have weapons," said Sera.
"Always carrying on duty. Only precautions."
"Go on," Goji urged. "It's all right."
"Serashura?" Hana stepped forward. "Call me Agent Five. Ankle, please."
Sera rolled up her pantleg without taking her eyes off of Hana and Callie.
"I thought there might be more of you," Goji said pointedly to Callie.
"There are always more of us, miss," Callie said. "Some just prefer to stay out of sight."
"Hurry up," Sera snapped as Hana fiddled with the tracker.
"Gotta give me a sec, kid. Pulling some data." Hana fitted a needlelike key into a tiny hole in the tracker. The device beeped, and a green light gave three quick flashes. As soon as it popped open, Sera yanked her leg back. Her hooks flashed out and she retreated from the Inklings.
"Touchy little scamp, aren't you?" Callie said.
"Don't," Goji whispered.
"We can go now?" Sera called.
"Hold on," Hana said. "Got some formalities for you to sign."
"Sign?"
"Your signature. I need it." Hana pulled a small tablet from her pocket and tapped the screen.
Sera scowled. "I have heard that makes contracts binding here, and that from one of you, it is always a trick."
"C'mon, kid. I'm trying to get you outta here quick as possible."
"You will show Goji everything!" Sera pointed at Goji. "Then I will signature it."
Hana groaned. "You mind, Fayuda?"
"No, no, of course not." Goji took the tablet from her and scanned the documents. Sera stayed where she was, arms folded crossly.
"How you been, girl?" Hana murmured.
"Not so good," Goji replied.
"What's up? Need me to thrash a fool?"
"No." The corners of her lips twitched. "But it's good to see you haven't changed."
"Can't beat perfection." Hana smirked. "Missed you since you dropped off the map. We should get together and catch up."
"Well?" Sera cut in from a distance. "There is a trick?"
Goji pushed her attention back to the tablet and finished reading the short page. "There's no trick," she said. "It's just saying you had the tracker removed and you weren't harmed in the process."
Sera reluctantly – awkwardly – swirled her finger over the screen after Goji showed her how.
Hana took the tablet back and gave them a thumbs-up. "You're good to go."
"Now we can go?" Sera begged.
"We can go. Thank you both," Goji said to the agents.
"Miss Fayuda." It sounded strange coming from Callie. "Oly sends her best wishes."
Goji paused, deciding if she wanted to reply. There wasn't time to say what was on her mind. Hana was listening, and Sera had lost patience and marched away. "Thank her for us," Goji said, and ran toward the car. Inside, she counted down a few breaths. Nagisa wasn't there to stare her down. Marie wasn't there to implore. Sera was free.
Sera didn't speak until they were past the guardhouse and out of the compound. She looked over her shoulder as HQ dropped out of sight around a turn, and her fingers idly touched her ankle. "It is strange to feel it gone. I'd nearly grown used to it." She suddenly giggled. "I am not dreaming?"
"You're not dreaming."
Her smile, so rare, was infectious. "Thank you, Goji. I do not think I deserve your kindness after what happened, but without it..."
"I'd help you all over again."
Sera played with her tips. "This ordeal drew us together. Now that it is over, I hope we can remain friends."
"Of course we can."
"I never had a firm place in another's life before. I worried that once you no longer felt compelled to help me, we would drift apart."
"I don't want that to happen. These months have been hard, and not just because of moving. I'm sorry if I made you doubt that I cared."
"A bit," Sera admitted. "But no more. Kiyoza asked you about this weekend?"
"No. What about it?"
"He suggested a celebration meal for me."
"Kiyo did?"
Sera stiffened. "Oh... I did tell him what was happening tonight. And about being under observation. I was so excited for the end of it that I told him when he..." Guilty eyes looked out the window. "I am sorry if you did not want him to know."
"It doesn't matter, Sera. Like you said, it's over anyway. A celebration dinner, huh? That's a great idea."
"Really? We thought you would be busy."
"We'll find time."
Sera beamed.
Back at the apartment project, they climbed out of the car together.
"You would like to come in again?" Sera asked.
"I really need to get home tonight," Goji said. "But we'll make something work this weekend. Promise."
"Very well." Sera hesitated, then stepped forward and hugged Goji tentacles and all. "Shi ga nan, Goji Fayuda."
Goji had lost most of her rudimentary Ottoshi to disuse. "Sorry?"
"I am not one for ceremony," Sera said, blushing. "But it means, my life is yours. Or, anything you need, you may call on me."
"Sera..." Goji's throat tightened as she searched for words. For once, the tears in her eyes weren't bitter or cold.
Sera let out a ragged sigh. "For the first time, I am not rushing back to my solitude."
"I'm glad you trust me," Goji said. "Feels like it's been a lifetime since you'd barely talk to me."
"Maybe is has been." Sera let go. "I will not keep you any longer. Thank you once more. Sleep well."
"You too, Sera."
"I know I will." Sera waved and hurried inside. She could be miles away by now; no one at the Agency would know. It's done.
The night was suddenly dark and silent save for the buzzing of lamps overhead.
Shi ga nan. If Sera only knew the colors Goji once wore, she'd never say those words to her. One day, Goji promised herself. One day when their bond was deeper and their friendship strong, she would confess and hope the girl found it in her heart to understand and forgive.
When she got a message halfway home, she expected it to be Kiyo asking where she was. Instead, it was Callie. She read it at a stoplight.
[How's the kid?]
[Fine. Happy,] she replied, hoping that would be the end of it.
[You doing okay?]
What to say? The light turned green, and she didn't get another chance to type until she parked in the shadow of her building. [Was Marie really there tonight?]
[Inside, yeah. She wanted to see it through but didn't want to make it worse for you.]
[I appreciated it.]
[Can I tell her that?] Callie asked.
Goji watched an early moth flit around the overhead lights. She left her car and took the stairs slowly to think. She stopped at her door and bit her lip. No more fear.
[I'll tell her,] Goji wrote.
Callie immediately started typing a message back, but Goji didn't wait for it. She pulled up a new conversation with Marie and wrote, as fast as she could, [Thank you for your help with Sera. She is happy and safely home.] That was enough. She jabbed the little blue circle to send it and turned her phone off for the night.
[I'm glad she's okay. How about you?]
Such a simple question should have a simple answer. Marie had sent the message last night minutes after Goji's. Goji was only reading it now over a bowl of cereal. Kiyo was already at school and she was alone with her second thoughts of what to say. It was 9:00 in the morning and the Squid Sisters were in the plaza; she shouldn't have to worry about keeping up a long conversation.
[Relieved it's over,] Goji wrote, and put her phone screen-down on the table. She washed her breakfast dishes, got dressed for work, and reluctantly checked.
Marie had replied, [Me too.] Then another: [How are we?]
Goji sighed. Of course Marie would rather talk than pay attention to her fans. Gawkers, she always called them. Getting fingerprints on the glass.
How were they? Goji didn't know for sure. She felt… delicate. Her rage had burned out, but its ashes were hot. She was afraid to kick them up. Still, staying silent in fear was an insult to her awakened self. She set her fingers on the screen and typed out her question letter by letter.
Marie stared through the studio window while Callie ran through strategies for rollers on Moray Towers. Her cousin's smiling face beamed from the big screen above the plaza. The giant Callie looked to her left, and suddenly Marie faced her own tired eyes.
"Marieee," Callie sang. "Hey, sleepyhead. Got any tips for the sharpshooters out there?"
"Oh. Um. Watch those flanks. Get glued to your scope and you'll get splatted before you know what hit you."
"By a superior roller, no doubt," Callie snickered. "That's all we've got for now, so good luck and go get 'em! Until next time…"
Marie's body moved on its own into her half of their signature pose.
"Stay fresh!"
Her phone buzzed against the tabletop. She snatched it up as soon as the camera lights shut off.
"Really?" Callie groaned, sitting down. "She had all night to answer and didn't. I said I'll try to get in touch-"
"It's her." Marie grinned and rapped out a message. "I don't believe it. She said we can meet! Tea at the Monsoon Café, just like we used to!"
"Color me shocked," Callie said. "What'd she say?"
"'I don't know how we are,'" Marie read. "'But too much to text. You may treat me to tea at the Monsoon tomorrow night. I'll meet you there. Can you make it?'"
"Tomorrow night is rookie field training," Callie whispered.
"Not anymore. Ten and Twelve can handle my parts. I have other plans now."
"What about me? I get to make up an excuse for you?"
"After I've made so many for you, you can manage one for me." Marie felt positively giddy. She looked up from her phone to wave at a little girl and her father outside.
"Was that a smile? One text and I don't even know you anymore." Callie folded her arms and smirked. "Kind of a snappy invitation, but it's better than silence."
"Anything is better than that silence."
"You mean the silence you planned to drag out forever?" Callie stretched. "I did what I could. This might be your last shot. Don't blow it."
"Not on your life."