Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, that right belongs to the talented Rumiko Takahashi; nor do I own Naruto, that right belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
Author's Note: This was another multi-word challenge fic. All words provided by friends and family!
1 - Enigmatic: (adjective) difficult to interpret or understand; mysterious.
For the life of her, Konan couldn't figure out the person they were supposed to be escorting from Iwagakure to Kirigakure. Hell, she didn't know why Pein even took the damned mission. It was so far out of the way and had nothing to do with the organization or its ideas. Add on top of that; it called for two female ninjas to escort a singular girl — one who was silent, blank-faced all the time. Though the air around her left, Konan's skin was crawling, and that said something.
But the girl was pleasant enough when she seemed to realize that she wasn't alone in the small coach wagon. Her smile was warm, bright, inviting. Though the girl never said a single word.
2 - Exclusion: (noun) an item or risk specifically not covered by an insurance policy or other contracts.
Three damned weeks, this mission had taken three damn weeks just to reach the border from one country to the next. And there had been over fifty different attempts at their small party. One had almost blown Konan's partners cover. Though at this point, Konan was tempted to do it herself. She was rather tired of the fucking Bitching Deidara did over being dressed like a woman. He was the only option as Itachi was out on another mission, and they'd all be killed without hesitation at even suggesting it to the Uchiha. But it was beneficial that Deidara was from Iwagakure, to begin with. Knew the territory.
Looking over to the girl, who was now curled up and pressed as far as she could go into the corner of the little coach, Konan couldn't help but notice as her deep blue eyes seemed to glaze over. There was no fear on her face. Hell, her body language as at odds with her actions. It was almost as if the girl had been expecting this. She was making Konan narrow her eyes as there was a call from outside, telling them that everything was okay, and they'd continue over into Water country. If there were something that was not put into the contract, then she would take blood as payment.
3 - Pancakes: (verb) flatten or become flattened.
She was trying so hard not to laugh. It had been a week since they'd entered into Water country. And Deidara had changed from bitching about being trussed up like a girl to his hair being ruined by the moisture in the air, which was annoying as their base was located in Amegakure, where it rained almost every day. But it seemed like their 'charge' had finally gotten annoyed with the blondes whining. Because she was now pressing the very shocked stone nin into the soft padded seat, blue eyes flashing.
The frown pulling her full lips downwards as she hissed at Deidara like a wet cat had the man going very still. She wasn't sure if it was because the girl was making a noise for the first time in a month, or fear that she'd figure out he was a male. Either way, he was being squished like his favorite food. And the grin the girl was now flashing her was beautiful.
4 - Vision: (noun) experience of seeing someone or something in a dream or trance, or as a supernatural apparition.
Reaching over, Konan pinched Deidara. Wanting to make sure she was awake and in the real world. Because what they both had just witnessed could not be reality. There had been no warning as they reached the marker that indicated that they were only days from their destination. Their charge had become slightly agitated and started moving around in the coach. Though she said nothing, her actions spoke volumes. And they'd finally been able to read her body language.
Then it had happened. The coach and its entourage had been struck with an incredibly strong water jutsu. It was knocking the coach over, leaving them both in their wrapped around the girl, soaked to the bone. Neither wanted to leave the confines to see what was going on but from the shouting and the slight tint of copper on the air. It was an all-out fight. They were supposed to be masquerading as simple people. So fighting as a ninja was off the list of options.
But that all changed when the door to the coach had been ripped open, and a man had climbed in. A manic light in the depths of his eyes. It was clear he wanted to kidnap their charge. Though when he reached for her, Konan had readied to attack, she went still. The man was stopped, unable to reach them because of a pink barrier between them. When she looked to Deidara, his face was glowing that same pink in the darkness of the coach's interior. And Konan knew it was not him, but their charge.
5 - Prestidigitation: (noun) magic tricks performed as entertainment.
It had been a few hours since the attack and the death of their escorts. But that didn't deter Konan as she ran through the forest, Deidara had their charge on his back. Since she adamantly refused to be carried bridal style. Her voice had been soft and dry from disuse. But she had put her foot down with a rather impressive conviction.
"So... just what type of magic trick did you use to create that barrier? I mean, only the most powerful of Ninja could do that... but not for as long as you did," Deidara asked the girl.
There was silence before the girl sighed quietly. Looking over, Konan saw the girl's eyes closed as she thought about what to say.
"Because, Deidara, former ninja of Iwagakure, I am not a ninja. I am what is called a priestess," the girl said.
6 - Paradox: (noun) a situation, person, or thing that combines contradictory features or qualities.
Another week had passed, and they'd learned a lot about the girl. Her name was Kagome Higurashi. She said she was about seventeen, though Konan knew that was not the truth. Though she kept silent on that matter. Kagome had explained that this was par for the course. Her 'master' the Lord of Iwagakure would offer his most precious treasure as a way to cement relations with another country, only to send in ninja to kill the party and steal her back. Making it look like countries own people had murdered her. And instead of having to make an even trade, he made a killing extorting the other country. This took place every so often, never in the same region.
Konan found this rather odd and stared at Kagome, who just looked back at her without an ounce of intimidation — causing Konan to raise an eyebrow before shaking her head. This whole thing had reeked since the beginning, and now she found out why though it had struck a chord as to why there was a ninja hired for the girl's protection.
"To that question you're thinking on, I sent out a close friend. Someone I trust to hire me ninja's to keep me from being taken back to Iwagakure," Kagome said.
7 - Fungible: (adjective) (of goods contracted for without an individual specimen being specified) able to replace or be replaced by another identical item; mutually interchangeable.
They had finally reached the outskirts of Amegakure; of course, it was raining hard. Kagome had been somewhat open about what exactly her duties as a priestess were. And it had left quite an impression on not just herself, but Deidara, who was openly fawning over the girl though the feeling was not mutual as she always seemed to dodge his attempts at throwing his arm over her shoulder.
Konan wondered if Pein would be okay with having Kagome roaming the base. She didn't worry about Kagome being hurt or taken advantage of. Because the girl was rather adept at reading people and maneuvering the situation to something else, though Kagome was quite the catch, would she be able to be replaced with something that could be of equal or more value? Konan hardly thought it possible. But they were sorely in need of a medic, a role that Orochimaru had filled.
8 - Boogaloo: (verb) perform the boogaloo dance.
Responsibility for the girl had fallen on her shoulders. Though she knew Pein was happy for a medic. Hell, the girl was a sweet breath of fresh air. Had a no-nonsense attitude and could be somewhat volatile and dangerous when provoked. Kisame had been the first to rile her and bring her wrath down upon his head. Leaving his body wracked with pain from the little pieces of paper, she called 'Fuda' stuck to his body.
Konan shuddered at the memory of it. She was having heard him scream until he apologized to the petite girl. It was a clear warning to all of them as she stood over him, uncaring, steadfast, a dark smiled on her lips as she watched them all as if she didn't hear Kisame.
Though at the moment, she was doing her best not to spill her beer. Hidan had challenged Kagome to a drinking contest. Though she had warned the man, it was futile to win against her, trying to explain she was unable ever to get drunk no matter how much she drank. The Jashinist priest wouldn't listen. And it had garnered the attention of everyone at the base, Pein included.
And their wondrous leader showed his twisted sense of humor in saying all who partook of the contest and lost would have to do something of Kagome choice. And it was safe to say that while she, Pein, and Sasori had declined the competition, they were getting a free show right now. Every last one of them had lost to Kagome, who was clapping and squealing in utter delight at all the biggest, baddest S-class criminals dancing the Electric Boogaloo.
9 - Freebird: (Urban Dictionary) A kickass song by Lynyrd Skynyrd that features some excellent slide guitar and a five-minute guitar solo.
It had been entirely in the base for a few weeks. Most everyone had been sent out on missions, leaving Konan, Pein, Tobi, and Madara there with Kagome. Who they'd found out didn't do well with boredom and had struck up a quick friendship with Tobi. The man had always made Konan feel a bit creeped out. As if he wasn't all he pretended to be. His Jutsu's when he used them were fearsome. He was a force to be reckoned with.
But right now, as she leaned against the doorframe to the living room, she was impressed with Kagome. She had gotten Tobi to go out and acquire an Xbox and Rock Band. And was currently facing a rather tricky song on both the Guitar and Microphone, which Tobi was holding up for her as she played through the rift. Her eyes narrowed and focused on the television, fingers flying up and down the little toy guitar and hitting the whammy bar perfectly.
Every so often, her tongue would come out to wet her bottom lip. It had Konan smiling when the rift was over, and Kagome finished singing the song in a beautiful voice that shouldn't be suited to this kind of music.
10 - Abnegation: (noun) self-denial
Orange-amber eyes clashed with Dark blue. It was a battle of wills. Neither female was willing to move. It was causing the guys in the kitchen with them to feel nervous. There was one piece of Chocolate cake, and both had denied wanting it, so the other could have it.
"Kagome, please take it," Konan hissed.
"No, thank you, Konan, you can have it," Kagome replied in response.
Thus continuing the whole battle of wills.
"What is going on here?"
Neither looked away as they heard the guys explain it to one Itachi Uchiha.
"Fine, I will settle this," was his response.
Next thing they both knew, he had taken the plate with that last piece of chocolate heaven and walked out of the kitchen door. A smug smile was turning his lisp upwards as both females watched him in shock and horror.
"Kunai?" Kagome asked.
"Ponytail?" Konan responded as she pulled out the kunai.
The guys would later deny all knowledge of watching the two furious females plot to cut off Itachi's precious, perfectly coiffed ponytail. The man had brought that kind of hell down on his head, stealing their cake, which they had eventually retrieved and shared happily on the couch, watching The Wedding Planner.
11 - Gumballs: (Urban Dictionary) A lazy wannabe mama's boy that thinks he's all that and is embarrassing to be seen around.
Konan leaned back, hand sliding along the wall. This was dangerous. Itachi and Kagome were in a standoff. And Kagome had just landed one of the biggest landmines on the ninja prodigy. Of course, she was well aware of how this whole fiasco had started. Itachi had told Kagome to stop blowing bulls and popping them. It was annoying and distracting.
This, of course, set the raven-haired priestess off. Since they all knew Itachi was still sore about them slicing off over half of his ponytail for stealing their cake. But it was sort of an unspoken rule in the base that no one brought up anyone's past. Well, amongst the members who had been apart of the organization the longest. And Konan had to wonder if anyone had told that to Kagome.
She knew she hadn't as she had been sent out scouting immediately after returning with Kagome in tow and Pein grudgingly, allowing the girl to stay as their impromptu healer. It helped that Kagome asked for nothing more than a room of her own, food, and clothes. As her gut clenched, Konan debated on helping Kagome out as she saw Itachi's hand inch towards his shuriken pouch.
"Do it, I dare you, you gumball," Kagome growled up at Itachi.
Konan swallowed. It was a slang term and derogatory, ridiculous. But its meaning was evident as the air she breathed. It was a well-known fact that before he had murdered his whole clan and gone rogue, one Itachi Uchiha was a total mama's boy. But that wasn't what was pissing the missing-nin off, no it was that Kagome was calling him lazy and that he was embarrassed to be seen around. The man oozed confidence and well... even she'd admit it in the darkest corners of her mind, sexuality mixed with deadly grace.
The slow smile that spread across Itachi's lips had Konan pushing away from the wall and walking over and putting herself between the two. She knew he would not attack her. But she also knew that smile never meant any good for the person it was meant for. This was a favor that Kagome would be owing to her for a long time to come.
12 - Moo: (Urban Dictionary) A rather more polite way of calling an unpleasant, disagreeable female a cow.
Mouth hanging open as she looked at the smug Uchiha. Who had his black eyes pinned to the stunned, open-mouthed Kagome? Whose face was slowly coloring to a brilliant shade of scarlet? She was not too sure since the red kept getting brighter than darker alternately. Either way, this was not going to end well, for whom she didn't know.
"Did... did you just...Moo at me?" Kagome hissed at Itachi.
"Yes," Itachi said in a soft, almost amused voice.
Konan watched as Kagome's blue eyes narrowed, a pink halo started to dance along her small frame. While Itachi didn't seem to be worried in the least, she wasn't sure if it was his ego, or he didn't even know the immediate danger he was in from that single word or rather comment.
"You... are a real piece of work, Uchiha," Kagome said, her voice going sickeningly saccharine.
It was at that tone that Itachi's body finally tensed visibly to Konan's eyes. The sound of others coming to see what was going on. Konan just lifted her arms to block them from entering the kitchen. While waiting with bated breath for Kagome to finally let fly all that Ki that was making her body practically glow like a neon sign.
"You know what, Itachi, I forgive you," Kagome said, reiki vanishing as she gave a soft laugh.
When Kagome turned and faced Konan, she saw the way those blue eyes turned almost black as a malicious smile curled her lips. As she walked towards Konan, she moved out of the way and watched as the others parted like the red sea to let her through while Kisame slipped into the kitchen.
"Dude, tell me you didn't just tell short stack... Moo... Please!" Kisame stage-whispered to his partner, who Konan saw in her peripherals look up at him.
The soft groan that came from Kisame was echoed by Deidara, who muttered about telling Kisame that. Konan knew that there was no revenge to get; Kagome was the type to get even.
13 - Bouffant: (adjective) (of a person's hair) styled to puff out in a rounded shape.
Days turned into weeks and the weeks into a month. Then it happened. And there were no words to describe the chaos that had occurred after three specific males ran into the living area pissed off. All three eyes blazing, radiating an impressive bloodlust. Of course, Konan didn't have to ask who had done this, neither did their leader, who was sitting next to her. They just looked at Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, and laughed.
Each male's hair was styled in an old round puffy pompadour. And from the way their hair shone in the early morning light, whatever was used was not going to come out and had glitter in it.
"Where is she?" Deidara growled, his gray-blue eyes flashing dangerously.
Konan watched as Pein stood up, turned, and looked at them thoroughly, still laughing hysterically. The three stood a bit straighter.
"You will do nothing to the girl. You all brought this down upon yourselves by your actions. Did you think she forgot what was said to her, and who all was involved with that singular word?" Pein asked them, making Konan frown and glare hard, though it was ruined by her laughing too.
It had taken hours of coaxing to get Kagome to open her bedroom door. And even more hours of consoling the girl, who had a load of self-esteem issues to stop crying and come out. That was when Pein, Madara, and Tobi had seen her. Before extracting the information from Konan on what happened, which just sent Kagome into a fresh round of hystronics, rushing into her room and locking it again.
Though, from the fact that the guys' hair was so perfectly rounded meant that Kagome hadn't done it. The girl was a klutz, and there was no way that none of them wouldn't have woken up if there hadn't been a strong jutsu on them... Even if by chance, Kagome had succeeded in getting into their room and by their bed to put a fada on them, they'd have woken up.
"uh...erm..."Came a soft voice from behind the trio.
The laughter ceased as the guys turned to look at a rather bleary-eyed Kagome who just got out of bed. Her hair sticking up everywhere clearly unbrushed, her nightshirt hung off one shoulder while it was hiked up, revealing a nasty scar on her left hip as she scratched her belly.
The site alone had the guys going very still, Konan was even aware that Pein was not moving. Kagome was not a morning person and could be very violent. She was using her powers in a not pleasant manner that was a 180 from healing.
"Good morning... cookies.. and pickle?" she mumbled as she shuffled like the walking dead into the kitchen.
Once she was gone, Konan gave a pointed look to the three guys who were openly ogling the girl. Since she kept her body covered at all times. None of them aware of the scar on her hip. This would be fun to explain... But for the moment, they needed to be handled.
"If you stop to think for one second, you all would know that Kagome is unable even to accomplish this feat. She is a Klutz, and you'd have sensed her in your rooms... Think carefully about who would do something like this in her stead?" Konan questioned them.
In the next second, all three were gone, just to have high pitched, terrified screams coming from down the hall. Shuddering at the torture Tobi was receiving was a small price to pay. Though Konan knew Kagome had asked Tobi for help.
"You are evil; you know that, right?" Pein asked her.
With a sniff, Konan turned and sat back down on the couch. She didn't have to answer the obvious.
14 - Relieved: (adjective) no longer feeling distressed or anxious; reassured.
Orange-amber eyes darted around, looking at the mess that had been the base — shock coursing through her veins. There was only one thing on her mind, find Kagome. If she were dead, hurt, or missing, Konan knew for a fact that there'd be no safe place for whoever just attempted to blow it up. And she knew from the way the debris was all over the place it was not their arsonist. He was too much of a priss to do such a shoddy job.
A groan came from a large pile off to the side, making Konan whip her head around before her body followed. Seeing as a pile of rubbage shifted and slid sideways as Kakazu stood up, his green eyes flashed in anger. There was a killing intent rolling off him that was almost a physical thing. The man was immortal, but that didn't mean he was a fucking saint. No, he was a short-tempered man who would kill first ask questions later — hence being paired with Hidan so that he could continuously take out all his aggression on the foul, loud-mouthed Jashinist.
A soft couch came from behind Hidan, causing Konan's eyes to narrow as she moved towards the man. Who just reached behind him and gave a small tug. She was pulling a dust-covered, dazed Kagome out from under his overly large Akatsuki robe. Body swaying as Konan watched as Kagome put a hand on Kakazu then leaned into him, making her stiffen because Kakazu hated being touched.
"Thank you, Kakazu," Kagome whispered, before wrapping her arms around the man in a hug.
Konan could not believe her eyes. The man just patted the petite woman's head before extracting himself. A soft grunt his only answer as he walked away. That killing aura around him was still thick and strong. But Konan was more or less relaxed now that she knew her friend was safe. She was smiling a small smile as she watched Kagome looked at her and grins happily.
15 -Superfluous: (adjective) unnecessary, especially through being more than enough.
As they all sat there at the large dining room table, silence hanging over everyone. Konan waited with bated breath. She knew it was coming. Hell, it was long overdue. A year and a half had gone by since Kagome had come to live at the base and be their healer, leaving an impact on all in Akatsuki. Though it seemed to be an unspoken rule not to cross that line. Deidara knew from experience that crossing that line would do no good and had learned to temper his thoughts and feelings.
"So... uh... Kagome... if you don't like me that way, who do you like?" Itachi asked, his voice dazed at being bluntly refuted.
Konan watched as poor Kagome flushed a dark red. The shade was indicating she was embarrassed to speak up. But even she was curious about who Kagome liked. The unfortunate thing was so obviously smitten with someone in the base as she never left and by choice. And with everyone all waiting expectantly on her answer, Konan wondered if it would trigger her infamous temper.
"I like... K-Kon-nan!" Kagome squeaked.
It was dead silent at that answer as Konan met the girl's gaze. She saw the wealth of emotion in their depths. There was no mistaking that Kagome loved her. Though she had thought it was like a sister or a best friend, not as a lover. It was rather flattering, even if Konan had given her heart a long time ago to her dearest friend, Yahiko, now Pein.
As the silence drug out, it was becoming a bit much. And they all watched as Kagome ducked her head, stood up, and did her level best to not run from the kitchen. She was leaving Konan, now the center of focus for all the men in Akatsuki. She just shrugged her shoulders, stood up, and followed after Kagome. There was nothing she could say; she was just as surprised as they were.
16 - Anus: (Urban Dictionary) Polite synonym for asshole
"Come on; you can do this midget!" Hidan's voice reverberated from the den.
"I am trying," Kagome answered him sound a bit angry.
Feeling curious, Konan made her way to the den to see Kakazu, Kisame, Pein, and Itachi standing just inside the door. It was odd to see Kagome and Hidan in the same room and not verbally abusing each other. It was fun to watch and listen to. Hidan was as foul of mouth as they came. Kagome, his polar opposite with how sweet and polite she was. But both could be colorfully descriptive.
"Hey, what is going on?" She whispered.
"Hidan is certain he can get Kagome to cuss finally," Pein whispered back.
This had Konan's attention. It was a proven fact after almost two years that Kagome didn't cuss. Whether by choice or just her nature. So, that Hidan was attempting to get her to do so without being angry, not that Kagome cussed when she was upset, was pretty funny. The man was not teaching the material in any shape or form.
"Come on. You have got to be the most pathetic excuse for a human female if you cannot say a simple word," Hidan hissed at her.
"I am trying you an overgrown bag of foul-smelling Anuses!" Kagome shouted back at him, hands curled into a fist and planting on her hips as she glared up at the Jashinist.
Konan couldn't help it, she snickered. That was the closest she had ever heard Kagome come to using a foul word. Though it was still a polite way of saying her intended word, It had to be a lost cause as she watched Hidan just stare back down at her sweet-tempered girlfriend. And the way his mouth hung open was hilarious.
"I think Hidan, you should take this as a win. I do not think you will get any closer," Kisame stated, chuckling as he did so.
A few more grunts of agreement from the others before Konan walked into the room and wrapped her arms around her little woman. Who looked up at her and gave a sad smile. Before Konan smoothed her hands through Kagome's errant locks, shushing her and telling her she did just fine.
THE END!