In Flux

April 1998
Aurora

Remus stopped as he reached the greenhouse, taking a few moments to watch Aurora through the glass panes as she took care of the plants. He had just put Ryan down and hurried back to her, finding he didn't want to spend much time away. Though she had promised she wouldn't run off, ever since the night she nearly went after Evan, he couldn't help but worry that she'd slip out when his back was turned. Run off to find and kill her ex-husband.

Even now, despite her calm exterior, he could sense her agitation and anxiety. He could feel it himself, wanting nothing more than to leave right now. Go to Hogsmeade and figure out a plan from there. Just being closer to Hogwarts would help. But the rational side of him said that they couldn't just run off without a plan. It would be walking straight into the Death Eaters' arms. They controlled the school and the village. And it would take time to work something out so that they wouldn't get caught especially with the number of people they were planning to get in and then out. But it was time that he wasn't completely sure that they had.

He then sighed and pushed the door open, feeling the warm air settle around him as he walked into the greenhouse. Aurora stopped what she was doing and looked over at him, her brow furrowed.

"Any news?" she asked. He held out the latest letter from Theodore Nott and she quickly grabbed it, reading through it.

"He believes that she's hiding out somewhere in the castle, though he doesn't know where. She hasn't been to class in a week or so," Remus said. Aurora looked up at him, her eyes wide.

"How do we know that?" she nearly whispered, her fear taking over. "He could have slipped in and taken her in the night."

"He says that Alecto Carrow is agitated. Sending Slytherins out to look for her," he replied. "If Selwyn had gotten to her, she wouldn't be doing that. I suspect DA has her and is keeping her safe wherever they are hiding the other students."

Aurora nodded, frowning as she looked down at the letter, reading through it again. Though Ellie was safe for the time being, she couldn't help as her worry increased. If she was hiding in the castle from the Carrows, then she wouldn't be safe for long. The castle was only so big and even with all its enchantments, they would find her eventually. They needed to get her out.

"We will get to her before he does," Remus said firmly, knowing she needed firmness right now. She looked up, meeting his eyes. He could tell that she was attempting to maintain her mask of strength. The mask she had worn for 14 years for Evan Selwyn. All this time away from him and she still didn't want anyone to know just how frightened she was. "Rora… you know you don't have to hide from me… let me in…"

Aurora shook her head and walked away, passing her hands just under her eyes, sweeping away any tears that may have fallen.

"Just help me get her," she stated, keeping her back to him. Some habits were hard to break. Though she knew that she could trust Remus - that she already trusted him far more than anyone else - she didn't want him to see her like this. He had already seen her half mad. She had to keep it together if they were going to rescue Ellie and whoever else they could manage to get out of the castle with her.

Though Remus longed to walk over and take her in his arms, assure her that he wouldn't let anything happen to Ellie, he refrained. The peace between them was still fragile yet and he worried all it would take for her to push him away again was one wrong word. One wrong move. It had already happened far too much already.

"I will," he vowed. "The others… we're devoting all our time to figuring this out."

"How much longer do we have to wait?" she asked, turning to face him. She asked him the same question every day. And every day it was the same. Not yet. "Can't we just… go there? Wait? Even if we can't get into the castle, I would feel much better if I were there planning. Not here, miles away."

Remus took a deep breath and then sighed heavily. She asked that nearly every day as well. And part of him wanted to give in and tell her they could go right now. If anything to ease the worry that constantly filled her eyes. But it would be foolish to go without ensuring they could get in unseen. It wouldn't do to launch a rescue mission, only to get caught before they could get to the person they were trying to rescue. While it might end up saving Ellie, Remus didn't want to think what Evan would do to Aurora if he finally got his hands on her.

So instead, he walked over to her, gently taking her upper arms in his hands, squeezing them lightly.

"Soon," he said. As much as it killed him, it was the only thing he dared offer to her. Anything more and he worried if he would be able to follow through with it. He would give her the world, if he could. Aurora nodded and looked back down at the letter in her hands, reading it yet again.

"SOMEONE! HELP!"

The shout pierced through the manor, tearing apart the calm that had settled in. Remus and Aurora looked towards the door, the both of them wondering and worried over who it could be. What shape they might be in. It didn't take long before they were rushing towards the door.

At top speed, they then crashed into the library in time to see Charlie Weasley carrying an unconscious Tonks to a sofa. Aurora felt her heart seize for a moment before shoving her fears aside and rushing over to assess her injuries. Whatever had happened to her, she had to save the young auror. She had far too much life to live yet.

"What happened?" she asked, her dark blue eyes scanning over her body, taking in the cuts and gashes. The bruises. She wasn't completely sure where to start. At a surface level, they didn't seem too deep, but there was no telling what would be just under that.

"We were out on surveillance. They got the drop on us," Charlie said, his eyes fixed on Tonks. He then met Aurora's eyes. "Don't let her die. You have to fix her."

"I know. It'll be fine, Charlie. I need to know what happened exactly if I'm going to help her," Aurora said calmly. Remus stood back a ways, allowing her space to work and amazed at how calm she was being right now.

Charlie started quickly explaining what had happened. How Tonks had gotten hit in the crossfire, jumping in front of him when a Death Eater had taken aim, but he hadn't seen it. All the while, Aurora nodded as she listened, lightly feeling around Tonks' body before waving her wand over her, furrowing her brow as she ran through a few diagnostic charms. She was no healer, but once again found herself thankful for the many books she had taken to reading during her downtime. They were coming in habit. Seemed that was happening far too often nowadays. When she wasn't reading, she was making other preparations, but that wasn't something to think about now.

Tonks needed her full concentration right now.

She then calmly and methodically called out various supplies for Remus to grab from the greenhouse and told Charlie to step away, allowing her space if he was going to stay. The ginger man stood back in front of the fireplace, pacing as he watched Aurora while chewing on his thumbnail.

Remus quickly walked back with the supplies and dropped to the floor next to her, placing them on the table behind her. Aurora's brow was furrowed as she waved her wand, muttering things under her breath.

"There's internal bleeding," she said softly so that only Remus could hear her. "I think I can stop it but… Merlin, we could use an actual healer here. I'm worried I could make it worse."

"You're doing fine," Remus replied, glancing at her. "I can help. Just tell me what to do." Aurora nodded and kept at it, occasionally asking for him to hand her something or hold something. Minutes passed as she worked quickly and quietly, doing everything that she could think of, all the while praying that it would be enough to save Tonks' life.

Finally, she sighed as she stood, surveying her work. There hadn't been as much blood as with Remus, but with the most severe of the wounds internal, she had no way of really knowing if they were healed. They would have to wait.

"How is she?" Charlie asked, immediately at her side. She looked over, seeing that he was beyond himself in concern.

"I… I've done all that I can, and I believe she'll live," Aurora said. "But we'll need to watch her closely for the next few days. And she needs rest." He nodded as he looked down at Tonks, the creases in his forehead smoothing out slightly. "She shouldn't be moved just yet, but when we can, we should take her to her room. She'll be more comfortable there."

"Can I stay with her?" he asked, his eyes trained on Tonks.

"Of course," Aurora said, stepping aside as he dropped down to the floor next to her, taking her hand in his.

"Hang in there, Tonks," he said softly, reaching out to brush her hair from her face - it had gone a dull brown. "Merlin, you have to wake up… I still haven't told you that I love you..."

Aurora paused in walking towards the fireplace, looking back down at the couple with raised eyebrows. Charlie was bent over Tonks, still murmuring to her as he caressed her cheek. When had that happened? Something had obviously gone on between the two while they were out on missions.

"Did you know?" she asked softly. Remus looked over at the couple and then back at Aurora, who was watching them intently.

"I had my suspicions," he replied. "I knew they had been close in school… but I didn't know for sure…" Aurora nodded and started towards the door, motioning for him to follow her so the two could have some privacy. "How long will she be out?"

"Likely not longer than a few hours, I should think," she replied, the two of them continuing through the house to the den. The other aurors were nowhere to be found and Aurora wasn't completely sure just where they were. She sank down on the sofa, suddenly rather tired and overwhelmed.

It wasn't necessarily from taking care of Tonks - she was patching someone up nearly every day it seemed - but rather from the open way that Charlie Weasley had expressed his feelings for the auror, though she was unconscious. He had said it with such ease.

Part of her was jealous of how easy it was for him. Why couldn't she bring herself to say anything to Remus that was remotely close to that? So far, all she could manage was to tell him that she wanted him to stay with her. That she didn't want to lose him. And it didn't seem like it was enough. Remus deserved so much more than that. It had taken him years to feel as though he had the right to even think he could be with someone. Taken a large step in dating Tonks. It took a large amount of bravery for him to even admit he had feelings for her, she knew this from years of watching him. Being his friend.

And yet, she still couldn't bring herself to say the words. To allow herself to let go of Sirius.

"I don't know how much longer of this I can take," she said softly as he sat next her. She didn't expound upon the statement, though she was fairly sure that he knew that she wasn't just talking about the injuries. The war.

"I know," he said softly, those two words speaking volumes. Aurora leaned over and rubbed her face, the exhaustion creeping into her eyes. She looked over at him a moment and then went back to staring at the fireplace. Her mind wandered back to Charlie and Tonks, the way he had watched her every move, unable to sit or stand still until he knew that she would be okay. The desperation in his voice when he shouted for help.

She had felt the same when they brought in Remus - bloody and near death. The panic that he could die right in front of her. And she hadn't told him how she felt. All of the tension, the worry, the confusion, it hadn't mattered in that moment. All that mattered was that he lived. Because Merlin knew if she could stand to live without him.

And now he was here, sitting next to her, likely concerned. She knew that he wouldn't push her. Wouldn't say anything. He would just wait for her to speak first. To act first. Allow her to set the pace. And yet she couldn't bring herself to do anything. To move. To speak. To say the things on her mind though she now had the time.

"Merlin… I just…" she stopped speaking, too afraid to say anything more. To go down that road again. Remus slowly reached out and squeezed her shoulder slightly, then started to pull his hand back. Aurora quickly covered his hand with her own, clinging to it tightly as though she were unable to let go. As though his presence were the only thing keeping her grounded in that moment. She supposed in a way, it was.

"Stay strong, Rora," he said softly. It was the only thing he could bring himself to say. There was more, of course. But now was not the time or the place.

She looked over at him, her blue eyes containing all the words, the emotions, that were coursing through her. The feelings that she couldn't yet vocalize. Part of her felt that it wasn't enough, but it was all that she could give at the moment.

"You're a good man, Remus," she finally said. "Far too good."

For a moment, Remus allowed his mind to wander, wondering just when it was that he had started falling for her. He had always been fond of her, even in school. But back then he had only ever thought of her as a friend. A brilliant and beautiful witch, but a friend nonetheless. Then she was Sirius' girlfriend. Then his fiancée. And then there had been nothing for 13 long years until that night she showed up on his doorstep that night, demanding to see Sirius.

He had been happy they found each other again - truly. There were the few months of happiness when they were all together. Then they had relied on each other to get through Sirius' death. He had been beyond worried for her when he saw how it killed her to lose her love. It had started out as it had always been. A friend helping out a friend. Being there for her and Ellie. Repaying the kindness that she and Sirius had always shown him. But then something unexpected happened.

He couldn't pinpoint a specific moment in time; it happened gradually. He had always thought her beautiful, but one day he looked at her and for a moment, it was as though he were truly seeing her for the first time. She had once again accepted him, allowed him a place in her family. Encouraged him to find his own happiness even while she was still grieving the loss of her own. All of a sudden, he had realized that his desire to have happiness and a family of his own, it was already right in front of him. With her.

It took him a few more months to allow himself to even consider that he could have that with her. Part of him felt as though he didn't deserve it. That maybe they would be better without him, an unemployable werewolf. But Aurora had always shown that she didn't care what others thought. And he knew that her hesitation had nothing to do with who he was.

Not that it mattered, he was far to gone now to turn back.

Remus knew that he would do anything - anything - to make her smile again. To make sure that she never felt this way - this helpless - ever again. He would run into Hogwarts himself and fight off all the Death Eaters Voldemort could send to bring Ellie home safe and sound. He would gladly give himself up to protect Aurora, Ryan and Ellie.

He loved her with everything that was in him. And though he couldn't tell her - couldn't express it in the way he wanted - he would do anything to protect her, Ellie and Ryan. To protect the family that she had so willingly offered him a place in, even if she couldn't bring herself to accept his love.

"Promise me," she started, her eyes still locked with his. "Promise me that you won't die on me." He blinked a few times, wondering if it was a promise he could keep. But he knew that more than anything right now, she needed to hear those words.

"I promise."

Truth be told, as much as I do like Remus and Tonks together, I always though she and Charlie were more suited for each other. So, figure this was my chance to make that happen. And maybe there's a side story in there about how that happened, since it's mostly off the page.

Thanks for reading and following!