Dick: Sweet, Jason is being unfair!

Jason: in what way was that unfair?

Dick: in every way!!!

Jason: that's not an answer.

Ugh, guys! Jason didn't steal your chicken nuggets, and Dick didn't pour gravy all over your burger!

Dick: then who did?

Tim: hey guys.

Dick: Tim!!!!!

Jason: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Why are you complaining? I'm the one putting up with you guys.

Chapter Start

Mari almost screamed when she got upstairs.

Almost.

She walked into the upstairs library, only to find Uncle Roy and Uncle Wally cuddled together on the couch.

After getting over her initial shock, an evil smirk overtook her face and she removed her phone. She snapped three quick pictures of them, then poked Wally on the shoulder.

He woke up with a jolt, but didn't seem to be shocked at where he was. He rubbed his eyes blearily and yawned, waking Roy up as well. They finally noticed Mari, and noticed where they were, and wide, horrified faces turned to her.

"Hey, guys," she said happily. Roy nodded his head in greeting, disentangling himself from Wally with a red face.

"Mari, how did we get like this?"

"I assume it was Uncle Jay," Mari told him. "You know how my family is-all pranks. Speaking of pranks, what would happen if my dad consumed a lot of sugar?"

"Uh, well, when he was 10, he would go into a super saiyan kind of state and destroy everything in sight," Wally explained. "Why?"

Mari was… shocked, to say the least.

"So, when my dad was a sugar-high Robin, he managed to destroy everything in sight? No wonder Batman decided to train him," she said. She realized her slip-ups after she spoke and covered her mouth.

"Well, technically Robin forced Batman to train him-WAIT A MINUTE," Roy said. He only realized what he had said… but, more importantly, what Mari had said.

"You know?" Wally asked. Mari nodded, removing her hands.

"Shit, we should probably-"

"Don't tell my dad!" Mari interrupted. Wally reared back in shock at her urgent tone.

"Why not?" Roy asked. Mari smirked.

"It would spoil my fun," she admitted. Wally chuckled, shook his head, and looked down at the floor.

"Yep… you're your father's daughter, all right."

Mari was going to throw in a comment, but wisely decided not to. Instead she asked if her dad still had the sugar problem.

"Well, when he turned 15, his sugar problem practically died," Wally said. "However, he still gets little bursts of energy… it's these kinds of days we try to avoid giving him sugar. No telling what might happen."

"So, if he was kicking his legs back and forth, and bouncing in his seat, and constantly looking around, DON'T give him sugar?" Mari asked, worry seeping into her voice. Roy's eyes narrowed.

"What did you do?"

"Left my uncles to doom themselves while I ran upstairs to call Aunt Barbara, but I ran into you guys, then we talked, then you found out that I know that my family is the bat family, THEN you found out that I made a big mistake by leaving my Uncles downstairs by themselves to pull a stupid prank, then we found out that when I get nervous I tend to ramble which isn't something I never knew about myself-"

Roy slapped a hand over her mouth and reminded her to breathe. When he removed his hand, Mari stopped talking and was taking deep breaths.

"We need to stop them from giving Dick any sugar," Wally said.

"Duh," Roy agreed. He thought for a moment. "Does Bruce know about this?"

"Well, he knows dad is feeling hyper," Mari said. "He said not to give him any sugar."

"That's why they're doing it," Wally theorized.

"Well, no dip," Roy snapped at him. He turned to Mari. "Go ahead and call Barbara, let her know the situation. Let's only hope Dick hasn't eaten any sugar yet."

Line Break

Truth be told, he did.

And the boys saw it.

And they regretted it.

They called Dick back in for lunch after having made it themselves.

Dick was understandably suspicious of them, but he sat down and ate what they had set out.

The rest was a blur.

When Dick came out of his sugar rush, the manor was (almost) completely destroyed. He was lying down on the couch in the fetal position surrounded by broken glass and various stains everywhere that he just wasn't going to think about.

He sat up with a yawn. He already knew how he got the sugar. Whatever he did to the boys, they probably deserved it.

"Where are they?" He asked himself. He looked up at the ceiling. He never knew why, but whenever he was in a sugar state, he either tied, glued, duct-taped, stapled, or cream-cheesed (don't ask) people to the ceiling.

Well, that was one down. Jason was unwrapping himself from some plastic wrap, which was glued to the ceiling.

"Hey, Jason!" Dick called. Jason froze and stared down at Dick.

"Uh-"

"Which ceiling is Tim stuck to?" Dick asked him. Jason frowned.

"I think he has the kitchen," Jason answered him. Dick nodded, and Jason continued to struggle his way out of the plastic wrap.

Dick, with a smirk, walked into the kitchen and studied the ceiling. There was Tim, stapled by his jacket, to the ceiling.

"Hey, Tim," Dick greeted. Said boy screamed and slipped out of his jacket. He grabbed it at the last second, holding onto it for dear life.

"Ooh, that looks bad," Dick said. "How much sugar did you guys add? It feels like five cups… I've got a horrible headache."

"Seven!" Tim shouted, swinging back and forth from his jacket. Dick laughed.

"What's so funny?" Tim demanded.

"You look like a monkey!" Dick exclaimed. He continued to laugh.

"Very funny… could you get me down from here?"

"Let go and I'll catch you!" Dick called back up.

Tim looked like he would rather hang there all day then be caught by Dick, but he let go of his beloved jacket and Dick caught him easily.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"No problem," Dick said. He set Tim down on the floor and two stared at Tim's jacket.

"How are we gonna get it down?" Tim asked. Dick opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the sound of unwinding plastic wrap. Jason fell to the floor with a thud and didn't move for quite a while.

"You can work it out, I'm sure," Dick said, patting Tim on the back. "I'm gonna see if Jay is alright."

When Dick left the kitchen, something pounded on the vent. Tim opened it up, and out tumbled Damian, covered in soot and glitter.

"Let's NEVER let him consume sugar AGAIN," he demanded, and Tim nodded.

"Agreed."

Also a Line Break

"Should we just-"

"Don't. Ask."

Barbara stepped into the living room, avoiding the glass. Mari, Roy, and Wally were standing at the top of the staircase, debating how best to get down. Mari knew she could just fly down, but her dad... nah, best to stay there.

Dick was sitting in the Story Chair, whistling happily as he stroked an unconscious Jason's hair. Tim and Damian were cleaning the manor.

"What happened?" Barbara demanded.

"Sugar rush," Dick said, raising his hand.

"I thought I told you," Mari said.

"You said there was an emergency, but the phone cut out before you could tell me what it was."

"Oh."

Damian screamed and backed away from the back of the TV. His scream startled Jason awake.

"What's going on? Where's Dick?" He demanded.

"What's wrong Dami?" Dick asked. He sat up in a defensive position.

"G-glitter! Everywhere!" Damian screamed. He raced up the stairs, ignoring the glass.

"Glitter?" Mari asked. Wally, Roy, and Barbara shivered.

"Never trust sugar-rush Dick with glitter," they said. Nobody questioned the matter further.

"Where did the glass come from?" Barbara asked.

"I think that might be a window… not sure," Dick answered.

"Jason, we've gotta get this place cleaned before Alfred gets home," Tim said. He and Damian had already cleaned most of the mess-they got the stains out, the glass by the door swept up, found out that nothing overly expensive (or too important) had been destroyed…

Jason sighed and stood up, reaching for the vacuum.

They spent an hour cleaning up while Dick, Barbara, Mari, Wally, and Roy ate a nice, sugar-free lunch. Of course, they left some for Damian, Tim, and Jason.

When everyone was finished, Dick sat down in the Story Chair and admired their work.

"Great job, guys. With luck, Alfred will miss two things."

"Out of the hundreds of things that were destroyed," Jason mumbled. Dick tsked.

"Don't be so grumpy, Jay," he said. "Just remember-this was all your fault."

"Where's Damian?" Roy asked. Mari sighed.

"I'll go get him. I think I know where he ran off to."

She ran up the stairs. Dick turned to everyone with a smile.

"Well, now that that's done… let's get down to less important matters."

"I'm surprised Alfred isn't home, yet," Tim whispered to Barbara, who agreed. They sat down on the couch beside Jason.

"Alright, this story is How the Moon Got Caught in the Marsh."

Dick's leg started bouncing up and down, which made them all nervous. Tim and Jason backed as far away from him as they could, but they were pressed into the couch. Barbara made eye contact with Dick, who winked. She smirked.

How was Dick considered a Hero when he was so evil?

Once upon a time there was a tiny village located in the middle of a marsh. You're all probably thinking that that's a very bad choice, but they didn't mind. They didn't mind the damp, the smell, or the carnivorous trolls that lived there.

"Oh," said Jason.

It was all fine, because the moon, named Raven, always shone bright.

"But if Raven is the moon, who are the trolls?" Tim asked. Dick visibly flinched.

"Uhm…"

"Never mind…" Tim said. He gestured for Dick to continue.

Ok, so… the trolls weren't actually called trolls. The villagers called them Trigons.

Now Barbara flinched, and they heard a gasp from the stairs. They just assumed it was Damian. Dick was now treading on dangerous waters.

But, you see, the thing is he knew that Mari figured everything out. His silent conversation with Bruce was all about that. Dick had suspected it for a while. He just wanted to make sure by silent communication with Bruce.

Also, he felt Mari get out of bed the night before. What? He was a light sleeper. He was genuinely shocked that she didn't make any noise, so when he peeked out the doorway at her, he almost screamed when he realized she was flying.

How long had she been able to do that? How long did she know? Did she only find out about her powers? If so, how had she flown so smoothly, like it just came to her? Was it that easy for Kory when she first learned to fly? Did Kory know?

He shook his head slightly to get his mind back on track. Maybe he couldn't troll her anymore… not with their secret identities, anyway. But she didn't know that he knew. There is no out-trolling the family troll.

Though if it was a fight she wanted, it was a war she would get.

One night, a random villager named Garfield went out to get some food. The trolls tried to get him, but Raven was faster, shining brighter so the Trigons backed up, hissing.

Garfield continued on his way, maybe moving a little faster than he had been.

Raven, the moon, decided one night that she would see why people kept wanting to go through that very, VERY dangerous marsh. So, she dropped out of the sky, dimmed her light a bit, and went to Earth to check things out.

"Wait a minute, time out!" Tim interrupted. "The Moon just CASUALLY decided to take a vacation?"

"Yes, weren't you paying attention?" Dick answered.

This was a bit of a mistake since the Trigons took advantage of this. They grabbed her and tied her up, then dropped her in the marsh. To make sure she stayed there, they put a giant rock on top of her.

"Recap; the moon took a vacation, got kidnapped by a bunch of trolls-"

"Trigons," Dick interrupted.

"Sorry, TRIGONS," Barbara enunciated, "and got trapped under a rock."

"Yep."

"But isn't the moon a rock?" Tim asked. Jason scoffed.

"Try telling that to the people who write kid's fairytales."

"Oh, please. Who really believes the moon is made of cheese?" Tim asked him (rhetorically, of course.)

"Probably the same people who still think the Earth is flat," Jason answered. Dick continued the story before this conversation could go on longer.

Point is, Raven was trapped.

She was stuck there for three days. How people went three days without the moon beats me, but one day, Garfield decided he would head out and try to find her. In the dark that night, he and the rest of the villagers lit a bunch of torches and headed deep into the marsh to find Raven.

The torches were bright enough to keep the Trigons away, so they managed to search for quite a while.

Finally, they came to the marshiest part of the marsh, where they found a giant rock just sitting there randomly. They noticed a faint glow coming from the bottom of the rock. So, through a process known widely as "assumption," they figured that Raven was under the rock.

"So did Farmer Bruce invent assumption, or what?" Jason asked. Tim snickered and Dick glared. His leg started bouncing again, and the boys panicked slightly. Barbara didn't feel bad, this time. You see, this time, they deserved it.

They had the women hold the torches and keep the Trigons away from them while the men tried to lift the rock. Whenever a Trigon would get close, the girls waved the torches around like lunatics and chase it away. After a while, the men finally lifted the heavy rock and freed Raven, who shot straight up into the sky and glowed as brightly as possible.

"The End."

"But nothing was resolved," Tim pointed out. "The most that happened was moving a rock to save a rock that was trapped underneath that first rock."

"Yeah, the Trigons are still roaming free," Wally agreed.

"Ah, but Raven is back," Dick reminded them. "Also, in the original, when the moon rose from the marsh, it burned up all of the Trigons. Literally, they burst into flame and melted Wicked Witch of the West style."

Roy looked a bit horrified by Dick's description, but Mari and Damian entered the room at that exact moment.

"We were listening from the stairs," Mari informed them.

"Good for you," Jason told her.

"I had only one problem with it," Damian said. "Why did Garfield leave the village to get food? Wouldn't there be food in the village?"

"In the original, the random dude was actually running around because his wife was preganent," Dick told him. Damian frowned. "What?"

"Don't you mean pregnant?"

"That's what I said: preganent."

"As entertaining as this conversation is, I think we need to go do something else."

Everyone jumped at the new voice. Dick smiled wide when he saw Kory standing in the doorway.

"Hey Mom," Mari greeted. Kory smiled at her.

"Ready to go?"

"Can't I stay the rest of the day? Please?" Mari begged. Kory rolled her eyes and chuckled, joining Mari, Tim, and Wally on the couch.

"Well, you just missed this story," Dick informed her. "But not to worry, because you get to hear the next one!"

Kory sighed.

"How did you get to be so childish?"

"I work backwards, Kory," Dick winked at her. "I act younger the older I get."

"That's not how the body works," Tim pointed out. Wally snickered.

"You saw him on sugar, right? Imagine him as a ten-year-old, give him a hose and some spray paint, then learn 50 different languages, and you can keep up with him on a normal day."

Roy nodded his agreement.

"Well, now that that's out of the way," Dick said, "The next story is the North Wind and the Sun."

Chapter End

Dick: oh. So that's what happens.

See you guys next time!

Jason: Tim is a little turd!

Tim: I smell better than you!