Free Time Events: Himeno Himemiya (Side C)

Spoiler Alert: Possible minor spoilers in Event 4, in addition to the obvious ones for Chapter III.

EVENT 1: While Himemiya-san and I haven't gotten off on the right foot, she does seem to realize that she's harsh with me.

I spent a little while with Himemiya-san. We didn't know much about each other apart from our names, our talents, and some of the people we liked or disliked, so we were practically starting from square one.

"I must admit that I didn't expect you to ask to spend time with me, Nagato-san," Himemiya-san said. "I had been under the impression that you disliked me."

I shook my head. While we hadn't spent much time together before Akira-san died, and Himemiya-san was undoubtedly closer to Tsukimura-san, Akira-san ad Sayuri-san, the worst I felt about her was disappointment that she thought I might plot a murder to save myself and my mother on the second island.

"I know we haven't exactly been close, Himemiya-san," I said, "but please tell me. When did I ever say anything that would give you that impression?"

"It's more what you didn't say," Himemiya-san said. "In my house, telling someone you dislike them is as inappropriate as announcing that you're going to the toilet. In both cases, you simply dance around the issue, saying what you need to without actually saying it."

While Mom had been certain to teach me good manners, I didn't socialize much as a child, and so didn't have much practice spotting subtle social cues. Maybe that went both ways, and I ended up being just as clumsy with what I implicitly expressed to others.

"Well, that wasn't what I intended," I said, "and I'm sorry if I sent that signal by mistake."

"No, I should apologize," Himemiya-san said, "for reading subtext that wasn't there."

Himemiya-san bowed in apology. It seemed to me that the best course of action was to accept that gesture while changing the subject.

"It's fine, I won't hold it against you," I said. "Anyway, your parents and the rest of your family are strict about manners, aren't they?"

"They are," Himemiya-san said, "as well as about anything that would impact the family's reputation- my grades, my behavior, and so on and so forth. I suppose they succeeded in imparting their lessons on me, though, since I worked hard and stayed out of trouble."

"I think so, too," I said, "but you don't seem pleased."

"I benefited from playing by my parents' rules, but it didn't make me happy," Himemiya-san said. "When my parents had company over, it was never any fun for me. There was very little I could say apart from mere pleasantries, and it was often wisest to say nothing at all. The adults' remarks were carefully calculated on the basis of appearances, too, so they were also concerned about their reputations."

I remained silent.

"Because of that, I wasn't sure I wanted to spend much time with you," Himemiya-san said. "Since you seemed like you were cut from the same cloth as I was, I thought you were deliberately holding yourself back, not sharing what you really felt. I thought you might judge me unfavorably if I gave any indication that I wasn't really that kind of person."

"I can't do that," I said, "since I'm not that kind of person, either."

Himemiya-san nodded, while faintly smiling.

"But now that we've actually talked, I'm grateful," Himemiya-san said, "since this conversation has been more meaningful than most of the ones I've had with my family. If it's all right with you, Nagato-san, I'd like to do so again."

"It certainly is, Himemiya-san," I said. "I'd be happy to talk with you again."

While I hadn't talked much with Himemiya-san in the past, due to our differing backgrounds and personalities, I realized I'd missed out. on a lot. There was no guarantee Himemiya-san would still be around tomorrow, so I had to make every day with her and the rest of my remaining classmates (or at least the ones I could stand) count.

EVENT 2: Himemiya-san hasn't had all that many friends in the past.

I had tea with Himemiya-san. I didn't know the first thing about tea ceremony, so Himemiya-san said there were only three rules for teatime with her- "Don't spill your tea," "Don't drop the cup," and "Don't burn your tongue," which applied to virtually every other beverage.

"You know, Nagato-san, I'm still a bit surprised that you're so willing to spend time with me," Himemiya-san said, "but I'm definitely not unhappy. It's just that I doubt we ever would have met if we hadn't come to this school, and not just because our old schools were in different prefectures."

My first guess was that Himemiya-san's school was more prestigious than mine, since Himemiya-san seemed like a much better student than me, and if it were true, I couldn't have gotten in. It wasn't good to make assumptions, though, so I decided to ask more about it.

"Why is that?" I said.

"To put it bluntly, we don't have much in common," Himemiya-san said. "Unless we ended up getting into the same class, we'd probably join different clubs, hang out with different groups of friends. I'm not the sort to make a lot of friends, so I probably wouldn't have gone out of my way to befriend you."

I nodded. With dozens or even hundreds of students in any one grade in high school, the chance of two students meeting or becoming close was fairly low unless they had a class or a club in common.

"What about Tsukimura-san?" I said. "You got along well with her, didn't you?"

"We did," Himemiya-san said, "but Kanae, being outgoing and affable, was the type who got along well with everyone... at least those who gave her a chance."

I was a bit perplexed to hear this. I'd only known Tsukimura-san for less than a week, but she seemed like a kinder person than the vast majority of my schoolmates. I wished I'd had more time to spend with her, and that I'd used the time I had to get to know her better, but I was glad that we'd met.

"Why wouldn't they?" I said.

"Quite simply, because she's a servant," Himemiya-san said. "Of course, not everyone knew, since at school, she called me 'Himemiya-san,' essentially treating me like an acquaintance rather than her mistress. The fact that our school used to be one for rich girls helped give the impression that she was from a well-off family, so most of our classmates, who never saw us outside of school, didn't know any better."

Himemiya-san's tone was bitter, especially when delivering the latter remark.

"While we were attending the middle school division, Kanae and I met and befriended a girl named Hitomi Ayanokouji," Himemiya-san said. "Ayanokouji-san's family had become rather wealthy and influential not long before she was born, so my parents encouraged me to get along with her. I was a bit reserved around her, since I wasn't sure what kind of person she was, but Kanae hit it off with her really well; they called each other 'Hitomi-chan' and 'Kanae-chan' when it was just them. I was a bit jealous of how close they were, but I was happy for Kanae… emphasis on 'was.' Still, I was considering officially calling Ayanokouj-san a friend, as well as by her first name, and would've if not for..."

"If not for what?" I said as Himemiya-san trailed off.

Himemiya-bit her lip for a moment, then continued once she'd composed herself.

"The summer of the year we met Ayanokouji-san, my parents had the Ayanokoujis over for dinner," Himemiya-san said, "and Kanae, whose talent had started to blossom, had to help out. When she and Ayanokouji-san saw each other, she blurted out 'Hitomi-chan!' in surprise. I'll never forget how coldly Ayanokouji-san glared at her and said 'Don't act like you know me, servant.' Kanae was able to keep herself together until the Ayanokoujis went home, then broke down and wept while she was washing the dishes."

"That's horrible…" I said.

"After that, Ayanokouji-san started avoiding Kanae," Himemiya-san said. "In response, I spent as little time as possible interacting with Ayanokouji-san, who didn't seem to notice how gravely she'd offended me. Because I'm aware that friendship can be offered with dishonest motives or can involve only superficially getting along with others, I tend to be somewhat cynical about it, and thus slow to make friends."

I sighed. I had some idea of what Tsukimura-san had dealt with, since some of my classmates were outwardly polite to me but whispered behind my back, but this was one lesson I'd never learned.

"I'm honestly sorry Tsukimura-san had to deal with something like that," I said, "and I agree that people like Ayanokouji-san can be two-faced. However, as someone who hasn't had any friends until this cruise, I have no desire to go back to being lonely."

"I can't fault you for that, Nagato-san," Himemiya-san said. "Of course, when you have a friend like Kanae, few other people measure up. One of the few people I thought of as close of a friend was Akira, but..."

"I think we can agree on that," I said. "I can't replace Akira-san or Tsukimura-san, but I hope to be a better friend to you than Ayanokouji-san was."

"I'm sure you will, Nagato-san," Himemiya-san said, "and thank you."

While Himemiya-san likely imagined herself to be a person who was difficult to befriend, I could see the ice between us starting to break. Perhaps this process was helped by our commonalities- that we didn't make friends easily, but had managed to befriend Akira-san- but that was all the more reason to foster a good relationship with Himemiya-san.

EVENT 3: Himemiya-san wasn't exactly popular on her archery team, but she was grateful that her teammates were honest.

Himemiya-san and I talked for a little bit about our schools. Since I hadn't been in any clubs, I let Himemiya-san talk about her club.

"Were you on you school's archery team?" I said. "Surely you must have become well respected there."

"In a sense, I was," Himemiya-san said, "but 'respected' is not necessarily the same as 'liked.'"

"Why not?" I said.

Himemiya let off a sigh, as she once again revisited bitter memories.

"Let's say you're an aspiring archer," Himemiya-san said. "In your first year, you mostly do chores for the team, and maybe you get to practice a little when you have time. In your second and third years, you start moving up and getting recognized, and in your third, you might just get the opportunity to represent the team. Do you understand?"

"That sounds obvious enough," I said.

"Well, imagine that some exceptionally talented first-year ended up upstaging you," Himemiya-san said. "There's only so many spots on the team, and she takes one of them, so you don't make the cut. How do you think you'd feel?"

I paused to think. Before I'd been named the Ulimate Tech Support, a title I didn't deserve, I hadn't truly been confident in any of my skills. Then again, most people, not just Ultimates, had at least a few things they were good at, even if a lot of people were better than them, so I tried to imagine their perspective.

"Probably a bit jealous," I said. "Alternatively, I could ask myself the hard questions- namely, whether I'm good enough to deserve it, and whether my competing would be in the team's best interests."

"You're right on both counts," Himemiya-san said. "Some people complained, but it's clear that they probably wouldn't have earned a spot on the team anyway. It'd be one thing if they were the best of the benchwarmers, but some of the people whining were probably ranked fifth, tenth, or maybe dead last."

"That's not exactly fair," I said. "After all, the coach and/or the team captain determined the lineup, not you, right?"

I didn't know a lot about an archery team, much less hers, so I hoped I wasn't too presumptuous. Luckily for me, Himemiya-san wasn't the type to judge me for making a good faith guess... or for getting it right.

"That's true," Himemiya-san said, "but I made a convenient scapegoat. It's easier to disrespect a first-year than it is to disrespect the captain or coach, so they chose to pick on me, making disparaging remarks about me whenever their betters weren't listening.."

"In other words, they chose the easiest target around," I said. "I guess that sort of cowardice is only natural for bullies."

Himemiya-san laughed out loud.

"Did I... say something funny?" I said.

"Not exactly," Himemiya-san said. "You just reminded me of how ironic the situation was. At home, my servants can't so much as look at me the wrong way, while the associates of my family know better than to antagonize me. Kanae knows this, too, and while she listened to me vent, she said she'd have gotten in so much trouble if she'd dared to talk to me like that."

I wondered what life would be like if I was born to a rich family with my status as an illegitimate child, but the latter probably would have voided all benefits I could expect from he former.

"Then again," Himemiya-san said, "that was honest, if nothing else. True, people were jealous of me, but at least they didn't put me on a pedestal or treat me well because of who I was related to. They treated me just like anyone else... well, just like any other talented upstart who managed to outshine them. If nothing else, they're more honest than many of the people who associated with me to curry favor with my father."

"I see," I said. "But why not hope for something better? Like maybe being treated as a friend?"

Himemiya-san remained silent.

"I'm sorry, Himemiya-san," I said. "That wasn't a fair question, since I haven't had any real friends until recently."

"It's a fair and honest question, Nagato-san," Himemiya-san said, "so I'll have to think it over."

Himemiya-san left for now, a lot on her mind. Maybe I wasn't the best person to say this, but I hoped she'd one day realize that there were people out there, including on this very ship, who valued her as a person. It had taken me a while to understand this, but I was sure that in the end, she would understand that, too.

EVENT 4: Despite her less-than-pleasant experiences in the past, Himeno-san values friendship, as well as the true friends she's made over the years.

Himeno-san and I spent a while making small talk, having gotten used to using each other's first names.

"You know, Chiyuri, I suppose some of my complaining about my so-called friends must sound rather depressing," Himeno-san said, "so perhaps I should instead talk about some of my true friends."

"I'm listening," I said, already expecting who would be first on the list.

"First of all, there's Kanae," Himeno-san said. "Despite being my servant, she's always been a true friend."

"I know," I said. "It sounds as though you two were really close."

Himeno-san smiled.

"Maybe I should move on to someone you don't know," Himeno-san said, "namely Shiho Suzuhara, a scholarship student at my old middle school. She met Kanae at lunch in the fall, not long after Ayanokouji-san abandoned Kanae. When Kanae said she was a maid for my family, Shiho asked two things. The first was 'So what?'. The second was whether my family had any openings, since they thought we paid well."

"That's hilarious," I said.

"I agree," Himeno-san said, "but Shiho's family was struggling to make ends meet, which was why she was one of the few students who had permission to work part-time. She could only do so as long as she kept her grades up, but she managed admirably- I think she's the second smartest person I know, after Mihama-san."

There wasn't really any way to compare to someone like Mihama-san, but coming from Himeno-san, that was high praise. Her remark also made me realize that I was fortunate enough to be able to focus on my studies, even if my grades weren't nearly as good as Suzuhara-san's.

"Shiho wasn't just smart or hard-working," Himeno-san said. "She also had a good sense of humor and was willing to treat everyone well. She never ended up coming over for a few reasons- she didn't have time and felt a bit intimidated by my family- but we got along well."

"I'm sure you did," I said. "I wish I could have met her."

"Next is my archery team captain, Mitsuru Mitsuzuri," Himeno-san said. "She was humble enough to admit that she still had room to improve, and could learn from her kohai; she even joked that she should be calling me 'senpai.' That said, she confident enough to stand by her decision to choose me to represent the school, which was why no one complained to her face. While I felt obligated to treat her as more of an authority figure than a friend- not unlike Kanae often did with me- I saw her as a good example of what a leader should be."

I nodded and made note of that for future reference. Maybe I couldn't live up to Mitsuzuri-san's example, assuming Himeno-san hadn't over-idealized her, but I did understand that a leader could be humble without being spineless, and confident without being arrogant.

"And, of course, there's people like Akira, Sayuri and, of course, you, Chiyuri," Himeno-san said. "All of you strike me as kind people, especially considering how well you treat Kanae."

"I'm honored," I said, "but I didn't know Tsukimura-san very well."

"It isn't a high standard to surpass," Himemiya-san said. "All you need to do are two things- know that Kanae is a servant and not treat her any differently. Sayuri gets high marks for befriending her, while you and Akira, at the very least, pass by a reasonable margin."

"What about Asakura?" I said. "I guess he'd fail, wouldn't he?"

"Yes and no," Himeno-san said. "His personality is repulsive, and I can't get along with him, but while he managed the improbable feat of alienating Kanae, he never looked down on her for being my maid. He passes the 'Kanae test' by the smallest possible margin, but his score on the personality test is a zero, so he fails the course. I don't think of the former as admirable- just one modicum of common decency that gives me one less reason to hate him."

I wasn't exactly impressed by Asakura's passing one half of the test- merely disgusted by those who had failed. Being commended for treating your lesser well was not only honoring something that should be common decency, but a privilege that only the privileged could enjoy, as Himeno-san knew.

"If it makes you feel any better," Himeno-san said, "this is one area in which Asakura-san can never compete with you."

I giggled.

"It really was nothing much," I said, "but thank you."

"You're welcome, Chiyuri," Himeno-san said. "You may not need words of gratitude for showing basic decency to others, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to hear them."

A part of me still wondered why people like Himeno-san, who seemed as though they might be popular or admired, would be interested in someone like me, but I'd found the answer, at least in Himeno-san's case. All I needed to do was be the person she saw me as.

EVENT 5: It took a while, but Himeno-san and I are truly friends, and I'm happy for that.

Himeno-san invited me over to her cabin, making me possibly the first person to set foot inside in days, if not weeks.

"I'm curious, Himeno-san," I said. "How many people are you on a first-name basis with?"

"Let's see..." Himeno-san said. "You, Kanae, Hitomi, Shiho, Akira, Sayuri and the twins."

"Ah, so not many, then," I said. "Since I only use first names with, you Akira-san, Sayuri-san and the twins, we're pretty much the same."

Himeno-san smiled, as if to concur. It wasn't lost on us that we had more than a few friends in common.

"Well, not all friends have to get on a first-name basis," Himeno-san said. "I got along well with my archery team captain, but she felt a bit weird about being called by her first name, so I called her 'Mitsuzuri-senpai,' when I didn't call her 'Captain,' and she called me 'Himemiya-san.' She joked even her parents called her 'Mitsuzuri-san.'"

I giggled. The idea of a parent calling a child by their shared surname wasn't completely unheard of, but Mitsuzuri-san's parents going that far was still amusing to imagine.

"In all seriousness, though, people do have different approaches to friendship," Himeno-san said. "Some want a lot, while others are content with just a few. Some are willing to spill their guts to their friends, while others are relatively distant. Some let their hair down while around their friends, while others are still somewhat formal. You shouldn't feel ashamed about not having many friends."

"I'm not, Himeno-san," I said, "just sad that I couldn't find people I could like and trust until now. Of course, I do want to make good friends, which is why I'm glad I befriended you."

"As am I, Chiyuri," Himeno-san said.

We shook hands. By now, I'd gotten past questioning whether I deserved to be friends with Himemiya-san and realized it for what it was. She'd chosen to befriend me, and all I needed to do was be worthy of that choice.

Author's Notes

Himemiya was originally going to be more blunt and rude, forgoing honorifics for acquaintances, as well as a bit more of a jerk than she ended up being. However, I decided to have her use honorifics, partly because of her strict upper-class upbringing and partly to make her a foil to Hoshino from Where Talent Goes To Die. Both of them are brutally honest, but while Hoshino speaks rudely and ultimately betrays the group to seek graduation, Himemiya speaks formally and cares about others.

Originally, her Free Time Events were going to feature her archery in more detail, but it does have different significance for each version of her Free Time Events. Azuki learns that Himemiya's archery is something she mastered independent of her family, while Chiyuri learns that it's a space in which she's judged for what she can do, not who she's related to.