Disclaimer: I own nothing. Aaron McGruder owns is all. If I did, Huey would be POTUS.

REVIEWS:

LavenderLuvER18: Thank you for your comment! I like that the actual show had a lot of diversity (especially with all of Grandad's dates) and so I wanted to keep on with that. Thank you again. I hope you like the next chapter.

WARNING: I'm keeping the story still PG but it's getting, well, you know, mature. I mean they are growing up so it's gonna happen, but I still feel I have to warn you'll. I hope you still enjoy it and if at any point any of you think I should up the rating, please PM me okay. Thanks you'll.

CHAPTER 29:

Ok. It looks natural because we got the good quality ones. It's just for a few hours and then I can take it off. I feel my smile thinking about how shocked he's gonna be. It feels weird, not caring if he likes it. I just want to shock him. But, I wonder if he will like it.

I hear my sister's sweet voice say, "Jazzy boo." I smile, look over to my right in the mirror and can't help but feel my eyes open even more. I cannot believe we're doing this. And, I hope one day she sees just how pretty she really is.

I smile and say, "Sissy?" I see her inhale, exhale, and look to the side. I turn, knowing, hug her, smelling that coconut lotion she uses that I love so much and whisper, "You're the prettiest girl in our school sissy and you look even prettier today." I feel her arms going around my torso, hear her exhale, and hear her say in that small voice, "I love you sissy." I hear a knock down stairs, pull away, and see that smirk on my beautiful little sister.

We walk out to the hallway, hearing mom laugh, look downstairs, and I see our friends. I see her run downstairs and can't help but laugh. Once I'm downstairs, seeing my little sister hugging Leo, I see her let go of him, and see those big dark eyes look at me.

I exhale, walk up to him, see him look down at me with that big smile and those eyes that remind me of the black night sky I saw through Huey's telescope one of those nights we stayed at his house during the chicken flu week. I remember that was the first time he showed me the north star. That was one of those things I had forgotten. I exhale, knowing Huey doesn't know it was after that week that Tom started getting mean. Thinking about it now I know he was jealous that day about Thugnificent. I don't remember everything from that argument but I remember hearing Tom tell mom when we were in the kitchen at our house after we had come back from that he had seen Thugnificent look at mom. She had looked up, surprised I think. I remember mom smiling and telling Tom he was being jealous and she didn't remember Thugnificent looking at her. I remember Tom telling mom he wasn't worried because Thugnificent wasn't well-off anymore anyways. I didn't know what 'well-off' meant back then. I just remember sitting there in the dining room with them and not knowing why Tom seemed mad, just seeing mom's face looking confused and I think a little sad after Tom said that about Thugnificent. I remember grabbing mom's hand, seeing her look at me, looking at my eyes, and seeing her face light up. I think that was when it started. But really I remember, it was Pretty Boy Flizzy when it got bad. It was the week after he was supposed to sing at my birthday party that I heard that sound the first time coming from their room. Now I know it wasn't just pushing. He was hitting her. I feel myself inhale and then hear, "Jazzy." I blink, looking at those black eyes that remind me of that night Huey showing me the North Star. The North Star reminds me of mom's eyes. And I know that black night sky treats that North Star really nicely and I'm sure will take care of her and protect her if she ever needs protection. I smile, hearing my nickname, hug him, and smell that Hugo Boss cologne he wears that I know mom likes. I think men are supposed to smell like that. Men his age. Dad's. They're supposed to smell like Hugo Boss. And, I can't remember if Tom used cologne anymore. It's been that long since he hugged me. I exhale, smelling that cologne, and know, no matter how much I love that Irish Spring soap, I hope one day, a long time from now, I can smell that cologne on my bestie. I hope I know him when he's a dad, when he's a pops.

I hear myself say, "Hi pops." I inhale and before I can take it back and apologize if that made him feel uncomfortable, I feel my little sister's arms around me, and hear her say, "You be coming to our game in two weeks and be wearing our colors right pops?" I hear that hearty laugh coming from Leo and hear mom, my sister, and friends all laughing. Tonight's gonna be awesome.

I hear mom say, "Okay girls, I know you all want to get ready so remember to use both restrooms okay." I smile hearing mom tell our friends to also use the restroom connected to her bedroom.

I hear the door open, smile as I finish the eyeliner under my sister's right eye, look up at that face and can't help but think I was so right about what I told her earlier. I see her mouth open, see it turn into a smile, and hear her say, "Damn Mimi's you look hot." I laugh, turn around to my bedroom door, and feel my mouth open. I see Ming in her dark blue cheongsam with the bright red seems around the collar as one of those seams comes down over her left chest connecting two thin bows to her left arm hole, seams of that same color around her arm holes showing off her light skin toned arms, the bright red waistband showing her very small waist, and the bright red loose pants that can be seen because that cheongsam opens on the sides under her waist. I keep going down and see that those pants go from red to white under her knees, where the cheongsam ends, and see the red matted flat boots she bought to match her outfit. I go back up and see those bright red wristbands and can't help to smile seeing Lauren's gift under her right wristband, just in case. I go up and see that bare face, no lipstick, no blush, just dark eyebrows and eyeliner that took me a few minutes to get right, that make her eyes look smaller and even prettier. I go up and see those bangs she clipped on with her naturally long hair framing her pretty diamond shaped face. Most of her rich thick black hair is being held in that tub like red scrunchy. Just like Chichi looked in the first season, with hardly any make up, only dark eyeliner, and a total fighter. That girl at our school that looks at her boyfriend has nothing on how pretty Ming is. I see that smile on her and know she's thinking the same thing. I see her walk in and wonder if Lauren is done using mom's restroom. Then I feel my smirk turn into a smile seeing her walk in after Ming and close the door behind her.

I see that blue hair in a high ponytail being held up by a big bright pink bow, knowing the long part of that blue hair is in a braid coming out of that bow. I see those short blue hairs framing her forehead, those dark eyebrows with a little blue I had to match myself because make up companies don't know what blue black eyebrow powder is, the long dark blue eyelashes, no blush and no lipstick. I just noticed that dark blue black mascara makes the hazel eyes look even lighter brown, almost like a pretty yellow. I see that dark purple bandana hanging around her neck loosely, how it makes her dark skin stand out, the light pink loose, short-sleeve, short dress with her name on the front in black letters, the brown belt, the light blue square shaped purse hanging off that belt, and the dark brown glove on her right hand. I feel my smirk seeing how short that skirt is and wonder if she knows how tone her legs are, probably because of the basketball. I see those loose purple socks that match her bandana and the old school blue vans with sticky straps that match the outfit and cost more than the entire outfit. Just like Bulma looked in the first season. I feel my smile knowing both their boyfriends are going to get to see how pretty and fit they both are.

I hear my sister say, "Damn Laurie, you and Mimi's might make Cartoon Network bring back that damn first season." I start laughing, hearing them all laugh, and then hear Ming say, "Damn shit. How bought your asses? They might bring back your favorite show Cin bear." I hear my sister say, "Shit, hopefully. And next year we make 'em bring back ma Jazzy's favorite show to. They on't fucken know what they be losing without those shows." I hear them laughing, smile, and look over at my beautiful sister, knowing Riley will not be able to speak seeing her in that dark brown hair that makes her dark ocean blue eyes stand out even more, coming down in different strands, with most of it hanging to the left, twisted in the back with those hair sticks with small red balls at the end of those sticks. I go down to see her pretty face, framed by those brown strands, see those dark brown eyebrows, that very dark eyeliner over her eyes and tiny eyeliner I drew under her eyes, the rose colored cheeks, and no lipstick. I wonder if the guys all like that we normally don't wear lipstick, just lip gloss or lip balm. She's so pretty. She's also so cute with her stuffed plush Momo on her shoulder. I look down and see that white henari that's really the undergarment she's wearing underneath, covered by the rich creamy pink colored kimono with the darker pink almost red sleeves over her chest, the same colored obi, which looks like a big sash that covers half of her stomach and chest, the creamy pink bow over that sash that's called an obijime, the long sleeves that open up at the end with those light pretty pink flowers at the end that remind me of the sunflowers she was looking for in the show, as that kimono travels down her waist, covering her legs and ending with those flowers again. My pretty sister 'Fuu' from her Champloo show. I smile seeing those cute wooden sandals over those short white socks.

I hear Lauren say, "I just hope the guys like our outfits." We all look at her, see her blush, and I say, "I don't think your Hiro's gonna take his eyes off of you tonight Laurie." I see her get complete red as she smiles and hear my sister and Ming laughing. We hear a knock on the door, smile at each other, and then see mom's pretty head pop in, smile at us, and say, "You all look gorgeous loves." I feel my smile and then hear her say, "Leo said he wants to walk you all over even though I told him you're all grown up enough to walk across the street but he's just being so overprotective." I look at my sister, see her give me that small smile, and know she's happy for our mom.

We hear him say, "Okay girls. Enjoy yourselves but call if anyone wants to leave early and we'll come pick you up okay?" We nod, smile at him, see him smiling at us, turns around and starts walking back to our house where he'll be staying with mom tonight. We hear the door open, turn back around to the front door, and see Hiro in his gold and white body armor with those extended shoulder pads, the red symbol on the right part of his chest that looks like a 'w' over a 'v', the long red cape that reaches his knees, the loose white gloves, the blue tights under that fuzzy brown belt that's supposed to be his tail, and the white boots with pointy gold tips that match the white on the body armor. I also see the top of his hair is kind of spiked up today. The sides still of course have that nice fade but the top part almost looks like a flame. 'Vegeta' in what Lauren says he would've been like in season one as Prince Vegeta. I know this character showed up in a later season but Lauren says he was still around in season one, just not part of the show. I realize, seeing Hiro looking to my right with his mouth open, he has some really cool tattoos, like that dragon that comes down from his right arm to his elbow with the mouth open like it's eating that elbow. I also see some Japanese lettering on his left arm. I think Lauren said that's the spelling of the name of his family's gang from Japan. She also said his mom, dad, and sister live on the east coast now after wanting to get away from the family he has in Chicago. She only tells us a little because that stuff should stay between them but I just can't believe someone as sweet and nice as Hiro is connected to a gang, any gang, especially one from Japan. Maybe that's how Riley and he connect so well. Like they both know what it's like to be part of a family with a really bad past and maybe not want to be part of it. And another thing I just noticed about Hiro is that he's really muscular. Are they all like that? Like, into being strong and fit? Is that not even a Freeman thing, just a 'Huey, Riley, Caesar, and Hiro' thing? I hear Hiro say, in a much deeper voice than I think we've ever heard him, looking at that pretty and fit 'Bulma' to my right, "The guys are in the living room. We'll be in in a minute."

I snicker, hearing my sister and Ming doing the same thing, and walk in pass Hiro into the Freeman house, leaving 'Bulma' to fend for herself with 'Vegeta'. As we get to the living room I hear Caesar's voice say, "See Riley. I told your ass if you can't pass the first damn level on Mario Brothers you don't know how to play shit." I hear Ming laughing along with my sister. As we turn I look into the living room and see those two on the floor playing with Caesar's Super Nintendo. I see those dreads in a half ponytail again, but this time a high ponytail, high like that hairstyle his character has. I see his loose orange gi with the awesome 'Kame' logo on the right side of his chest, the loose dark blue undershirt, blue belt, those blue wristbands matching his blue shirt and Ming's red ones, the loose orange pants that match the material and color of his orange top, and those blue boots with a red lined middle section and brown bow at the ankle, off his feet and next to him. I want to laugh thinking about how similar Caesar is to 'Goku' with their big smile and energy. And another thing I just noticed and can now confirm. The strong and fit thing is a 'Huey, Riley, Caesar, and Hiro' thing. I mean just looking at him I can see Caesar doesn't have the tattoos but he makes up for it in being pretty bulky and muscular. I get this weird feeling he's gonna look a lot more like his uncle when he's older. I smile, knowing why even though Ming has a lot of guys look at her, they know they have no chance with her.

I hear Riley say, "It's ma damn first time playing this game Caes. Shit. How the hell people play this shit man. Fucken hard not being hit by those damn turtles or fucken birds or whatever the fuck they are." I laugh, hearing my sister and Ming laughing harder. I see the guys look over in our direction and can't help but stop laughing looking at Riley with those glasses. He's really, cute. Like Riley is a cute guy. I never noticed. And it's kind of gross. Like that's my little brother, kind of. But, he's still a cute guy. Those glasses with those braids I took care a few hours ago for him and are now pulled into a tight low ponytail, make him look older. Not like Huey, just like an older version of Riley. A more mature and professional looking Riley. I wonder if that's what he'll look like when he's older. I look down at what he's wearing and can't help but smile at how much he's trying for my sister. I see his own white henari under the dark blue kimono with those white rhombuses or are they parallelograms? I don't know, it's been too long since geometry. But one of those four grouped rhombuses is over his right chest and two other are over his long sleeves. I see that red thin sash over his waste and want to laugh at how happy I am seeing those loose fitting black pants that almost look like a dress because of how loose they are. He's really trying for her. And I think my mouth just opened the biggest it ever, ever, has seeing those white socks and wooden sandals next to him. He's really, really, trying. I expected Riley to wear anything else but the actual sandals 'Jin' wears. I exhale seeing both of them no longer looking at the screen but looking at my left where I know their girlfriends are standing. And they're all so good looking, but more than that they're just all such sweet guys trying so hard to match their girlfriends' outfits. And, thinking about it now I'm starting to maybe think, with how sweet and cute they are, that girls were really giving them their phone numbers that first week. I wonder if they've stopped doing that. I exhale, looking down, and wonder if girls will ever stop looking at my bestie like that. My really cute best friend that's my boyfriend. I feel my smile thinking about him.

I hear a creaking and look up to my right, down the hallway towards Huey's room. I also feel my heart stop. I swallow, step forward towards that hair and look up to see that perfect Huey Freeman afro that looks a little messy today and I'm going to have my hand in later tonight, the small stubble on his chin he let grow out just for today and I want to kiss right now, the cute green clip on earnings he has on and I don't know where he got but somehow they're shining like 'Mugen's' do, those broad shoulders with the green and yellow striped sword holder and a sword on his back I hope isn't real and wonder if I can make him leave it at home, and the red long sleeve shirt open where I get to see that gray shirt under it. I look inside the red shirt at the gray one and see the stitching on that gray shirt that begins at the collar and ends at top of his stomach and wonder if I can unstitch that shirt one day. I look down and see those long dark gray shorts with the red lining at the end and then see those strong calves I've only touched once, and those clean toes in those brown sandals. I swallow knowing he's probably the cleanest guy I know because he says it's healthy to be clean. Then I see those blue stripes across his ankles and my eyes get big knowing he even did that. I look back up at his hands and see those blue stripes on his wrists. Two blue stripes on his wrists and one on each ankle. A tradition for the Ryukyu people that Mugen is from. I feel those hands on my hips and wonder when we got this close. I look back up at that stubble, see those soft lips move, and hear him say, "You said you'd try Jazmine." Then I feel his lips on mine.

I only knew it was her because of those eyes and that body. And she's not leaving this house wearing that. I pull away, knowing I just wanted a taste and she told me months ago I could kiss her all I want, hear those small slow breaths, and hear her say, "Bestie, everyone's here in the living room." I exhale and say, "And they're my trusted idiot friends now go change." I see that small 'o' shaped mouth turn into that smirk, followed by that smile, and she says, "No." I close my eyes, feel those hands on my shoulders, knowing it was months ago when I discovered her massages have that effect on me, and wonder if she can do that tomorrow after my solo training. I hear her say, "You like how I'm dressed and I'm not changing." I exhale, trying to relax, feel those fingers going through those sore muscles, remembering the training from earlier today we all did, just in case there's trouble tonight, and squeeze those hips.

I feel those crisscrosses going up those hips, the skin on those hips, open my eyes, see those dark forest greens under that dark hair that's being held by a white rubber band with those dark brown strands framing her forehead and face. I can tell it's not her real hair, which means she did not add chemicals to it, possibly remembering the last time she did, it took another explosive compound to remove the residue from the first one. That last time was my fault. I put my fingers under those crisscrosses feeling the small shorts under them and see her swallow. I exhale, knowing she is trying to not drive me insane and still be Jazmine. But those undershorts are still too short.

I look down at that tight sleeveless gray shirt with those small shoulder pads and see those toned arms she somehow got through her training and I'm sure her African lineage, the long red gloves that begin below her elbow and end between her middle and ring finger, the black sash over that soft stomach I was enjoying last week showing how small that waist is under those full breast, the length of the gray shirt as it covers her mid-section and part of the small black shorts that are hugging those thighs and are twice as high from her knee than I'm accustomed to, those small undershorts she's wearing under those longer ones that I can see under the crisscrosses and I know are not part of 'Yatsuha's' original costume, but even now on Halloween when most girls and grown women take the opportunity to wear close to nothing, she's still trying to be proper. I exhale, feeling myself getting hard, swallow, and look further down and see those red long socks covering those toned calves and end at the arch of her feet, those brown wooden sandals showing me her small toes that she doesn't cover with paint, and close my eyes, berating myself for being an idiot and looking at those entire legs and everything else. I feel her kiss my lips and hear her whisper, "I promise to help you later but try to calm down." I open my eyes, see that tint over those freckles I'll have to recount at some point, exhale, and say, "You don't have," but she cuts me off with, "I want to." I feel myself at that point and wonder if she can help me before this damn party.

Then I hear my brother's voice say, "We gonna be late nigga." I look up at him and exhale, remembering I do not beat him anymore for saying that word because I've gotten tired of explaining to him that that word came from those that enslaved our people and if he wants to keep adding to the effect it has on our community than I'm no longer going to try to stop his dumbass. I see him looking at me in that costume several years back I would have said I would never see him in, even after Gangstalicious tricked him into wearing women's clothes, but apparently for Jazmine's younger sister he's willing to wear it and hear him say, "I means McHater. We gonna be late." I feel my eyebrow rise, knowing having them in the same school has possibly helped. And maybe, he's not as much of a dumbass as he used to be.

I inhale, preparing for tonight, and look over at my other two friends with their costumes, knowing Lauren and Cindy picked this year's costumes based on their favorite cartoons being Dragon Ball, apparently specifically the first season, and Samurai Champloo, and next year will be Ming and Jazmine's turn. The fact they all think we will all be together as we are now in one year, even though it's high school, we're all still too young to be making those kinds of plans by society's standards, the idiots and imbeciles at school that continue to tests us all, and the fact that we have all had set backs in relationships and with family that would normally lead to unhealthy relationships and out of control behavior, makes me consider they're all either delusional in planning for a year from now or possibly, maybe, their maturity, possibly along with my own, makes us aware of what is worth struggling for, holding on to, and what can be placed by the waste side because it doesn't matter.

I hear Caesar say, "Hu." I look over at Caesar, by my own standards, my best friend after the girl standing in front of me, who stood with me on those sidewalks in front of that museum every damn weekend. I nod, grab the hand of that girl, and then hear Hiro say, "Gotta say one thing befor' we go." I look over at him and see him holding his girlfriend's hand, looking at my brother. He says, "Fucken morons, and that includes females, show up we don't want there, we leaving, no questions asked. Alright?" I exhale, knowing even though they do not acknowledge it, those two are as close and similar to each other as Caesar and I are.

I hear my brother say, "A'ight." I look down at those forest greens, see that smile, and feel my smirk, knowing she seems happy.

I hear my sister say, "Sissy, this shits fucken great." I smile, feeling her put her head on my shoulder. I feel my smile getting even bigger looking down at that prep LSAT book he hasn't opened once. I look up and see my Mugen talking to Goku and an awesome Batman across the yard and can't help but want to laugh at how cute they all look. Then I see a really pretty Cat Women with dark skin, long pretty braids, almost charcoal colored eyes, remembering 'charcoal' is a new color I learned from Riley the other day, and see her hug that Batman from behind.

I hear my sister say, "I 'member his ass being so fucken shy I thought he'd never see a girl." I smile seeing that pretty Cat Women kiss that Batman on his cheek, see that Batman get red, and hear my sister laughing and I start laughing with her. I hear chairs move, open my eyes from that good laugh, and smile at Ming and Lauren in their Chichi and Bulma outfits. They give us our drinks and then Ming says, "This is how all parties should fucken be. Love this shit." I smile and hear Lauren say, "Yep. It's been great. Like I know everyone here is with someone and they all wore couples outfits and it's so cute." I look up, smiling at all the couples, Batman and Cat Women, Joker and Harley Quinn, Superman and Lois Lane, Bugs and Lola Bunny, an actual Popeye and Olive Oyl, of course a Fred and Wilma Flintstone, Leela and Fry from Futurama, and so many more Disney couples that I can't name them all. Not a lot of Japanese animation like our little group, but some, like Edward and Winry from Fullmetal Alchemist, Ken Kenaki and Touka from Tokyo Ghoul, Inuyasha and Kagome from Inuyasha, and last but not least, Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune. Okay, so maybe there are some other Japanese anime fans. I want to laugh this is all so great. I hear another chair move and look to my left and see that pretty Cat Women sitting next to my sister. I hear her say, "What's up girls?" I smile and hear my sister say, "Never thought I'd see your man that red but that shit was cute as fuck." I laugh with my friends and then hear her tell my sister, "So how did you get your man to dress in that because I wanted Phil to be Van so I could be Hitomi from Escaflowne and he begged me for another choice because he didn't wanna wear a muscle shirt out in public? I just can't get that boy to stop being so shy. I mean he has the body for it." I look over where the guys are standing and talking and look at Phil in that Batman costume. I know he's on the football team and I'm sure he's fit. I feel my smile knowing even though girls were always looking at him he only got the courage to ask me about Lena because she's that pretty. I hear my sister say, "Lots and lots of fucken cuddles man." I feel my eyebrow lift, look back down at my little sister and see her looking to the far left of the yard where I saw Riley and Hiro in their Jin and Vegeta costumes last, hear the girls all laughing, and I laugh with them.

After we're all done having that laugh I ask Lena, "So what are Huey, Caes, and Phil talking about?" I see Lena exhale, look back at the guys and she says, "Politics and who they're planning on helping with their campaign next year." I feel my smirk and I ask, "Is Phil's family democratic or republican?" I see her look back at me with a confused look and she says, "Well when I met his mom yesterday I saw her watching CNN and I asked her if she was a democratic and she said their family was more liberal so they couldn't be part of either big party." I feel my smirk get bigger and she says, "Why?" I look back at the crowd, see those dark burgundy eyes looking at me, feeling my cheeks getting warm, and knowing he can read lips I say, "Because that means Phil's family is probably registered as Libertarian, which is the best party to be part of if you want both Democrats and Republicans to actually fight for your vote." I feel those burgundy eyes focus on me and then do that thing where he looks me up, sitting in this chair with the table in front of me, and I start feeling that warmth in my stomach and feel my legs squirming like they were when he was looking at me in my costume in his house. How does he do that and he's not even near me? I need to focus on something else before I get up and go kiss him.

I look back at Lena and say, "He's probably telling Phil to tell his family to stay in that party because that way when elections happen they won't be automatically calculated by either of the big parties so they'll have a bigger voice in what those politicians say because politicians know those Libertarians that aren't registered to either big party, like Phil's family, sometimes have the last say in a swing vote." I hear Lauren say, "Yeah, my family's Republican but I think that's only because we used to live in Florida where most of my other family is also in that party. And I heard my parents talking about changing their party to the democrat one." I look at her and see her smiling at me in that pretty blue hair. I hear Ming say, "Yeah, my parents became Democrats the moment they could vote. I'ma start voting when I turn 18 cuz I'm damn sure the way they are, wanting to be part of this country and all, I'ma feel like it's my responsibility to." I feel my smile get bigger, so proud that my friends are this aware. I hear my sister say, "Damn straight and with Riles watching the news sometimes at night I hear shit and how bad things are and I knows I gotta vote to." I feel my eyes get big, look over to that far left and see Riley and Hiro talking to some guys. I remember Sam told us earlier those guys are part of her girlfriend's astrology club and are also wanting to start an art club at school. I see Hiro flex his arm and point at that dragon. I look over at Lauren and see her looking over there and then hear my sister's voice say, "Your ass betta vote when you can Lena." I look over at Lena, see her smirk at my sister, and she says, "You ain't lying girl."

I feel that warmth, look over my right shoulder, see those eyes, and see those soft lips move and say, "It's been an hour." I smile, look back at my little sister, see her smirking up at me, and she sits up. I grab my matted crossbody bag that luckily matches my outfit, get up, and follow my broad shouldered Mugen to the house, who remembered I told him I might want to go to the restroom every hour to check my makeup or just go to the restroom.

After using the restroom and washing my hands, I look up at the mirror and smile at my grandma's eyes. Then I hear a knock, roll my eyes, turn around, unlock the door, see him standing there in his Mugen outfit that shows off his muscular calves and clean toes, wearing those cute green earrings that make him look even cuter today with that stubble I'm starting to really like after just a few hours of having it, and I say, "Yes bestie?" I see him look down at my lips and I suddenly remember I didn't get a chance to drink that lime soda the girls brought me when they brought us drinks. I hear him say, "Are you done?" I swallow and say, "Yes. Why, is everything okay?"

I feel his lips on mine, close my eyes, put my hands on those shoulders, squeezing them, and hear my reward in his groan. I feel his tongue push pass my lips and I taste that lime soda on his tongue, feeling that heat again between my legs. I feel those hands on my butt, feel him lift me, and I put my arms around his shoulders. I hear the door close and then feel the cold restroom sink under my butt. I feel those hands move up onto my hips and I move my hands into that hair I've been wanting to touch all night, happy I did make him leave that sword at home because it could get in the way of my hands in that hair. I put my tongue in his mouth, tasting that lime soda again, and hear him say my name. Did he just do that again? Say my name like that? And why do I like it so much when he says it like that? When he says 'Jazzy' like that? Focus Jazmine. I keep tasting that tongue and feel his hardness on my stomach, so I bring my hand down to touch that lower part again, where his balls and his penis meet, the 'base' mom called it when she showed us pictures the week after that last party. She said that's where the sperm actually are and we shouldn't be scared of it. That's where the sperm are kept and that part of a man is just as sensitive as any other part so we need to be careful with it. I feel my cheeks getting warm thinking about it, press my hand down on that part again, wanting so much to help him again just so I can feel it again in my hand, and hear him groan loud and curse. I feel him pull away and I open my eyes and see those burgundy eyes a few inches away looking down at me. I see him close his eyes and exhale and inhale, several times.

I see those eyes open, look at me, and he says, "I want you to help me right now but not here because you're." I see him stop and I inhale, knowing, and finish for him, "Special." I see him exhale and I continue, "And you're Huey and you're just not that kind of a guy and you're my best friend." I feel those lips on me again, let go of that base, hear him exhale and put my hands in that hair again. I hear him say, in between kisses, thinking how much I don't want this to end, "How much longer?" I bring my hands down from that hair, hold those cheeks, pull back, smile at those eyes, and say, "Midnight okay?" I see him exhale and I say, "In the meantime you can keep talking to people downstairs about things that matter, like how the democrats that are planning on running for president are not extreme enough and we need more than just their promise for free health care and wiping out student loans this time." I see him inhale, see that smile, knowing it's smile number four I have ever seen and I still need the world to see it, and hear him say, "You are the most aware girl I know." I feel my eyes get big, knowing Huey just said that, and even if we're alone and no one ever hears it, I heard it. He just told me I'm the most aware girl he knows. And I don't care that we live in a city where very few people care about politics or about how the poor really live and about how income inequality is making the poor poorer and the rich richer and how institutionalized racism exists right now everywhere. I don't care that most people in our school, other than at least our friends, don't know about any of that and that he's comparing me to those people. I don't care about Huey comparing me to those people because when Huey compares things he compares things to everything else he knows. And, I know he's met other girls, not just the ones here, but also in Chicago and maybe other places I don't know about and still, he just said I'm the most aware girl he knows. I feel my smile, lean up, kiss those soft lips, feeling those hands squeeze my hips, pull away, see him open his eyes, and I say, "Let's go big hair so we can keep having fun until midnight okay?" I see that smile turn in that cute smirk and I hear him say, "Midnight." I feel my smile.

After we're back downstairs, with Huey back in that crowd, making me feel happy he's talking to people, with Caesar, Hiro, and him talking to some of the math club students, and my sister, Ming, Lauren, and Riley talking to the same guys that want to start that art club, I hear a guy's voice say, "Jazmine." I look over to my left and smile at Phil in his Batman costume and Lena in her Cat Women outfit. I see them sit down and then Phil says, "I wanted to say you know, thanks again for you know, introducing us." I smile at him, see him look over at Lena, and can't help but feel happy for them. I say, "No problem and honestly I just wish I had more classes with Lena." I see her look over at me and smile. I hear say, "Is that guy still bothering you in the class you have after ours?" I exhale and say, "Not so much. Just whenever I have to talk to him he says dumb things so I just try to not talk to him at all." I see her purse her lips and then I hear Phil say, "Yeah, I heard about that guy. What does Huey say about it?" I look over at Phil, see those blue eyes, happy he stopped being shy with us after that fundraiser, and I say, "That as long as he doesn't bother me than he'll let me take care of it. And honestly, it's fine as long as he doesn't say anything too dumb. And really, after that last time and what I found out about him, I don't think I'll be okay with him for a while so it doesn't really matter what he says to me anymore." I look away and exhale, remembering what he said and just not believing he was so okay with saying that stuff, like using people was just so easy for him.

I hear Phil say, "Well, I'm not trying to defend him because I'm not cool with girls being treated like that but." I hear him stop, so I look back at him, see him looking down at the table, and he says, "Some girls at this school are alright with guys like that and some even like being treated like that, even when nice guys just wanna be nice to them and I don't know just be their friend, not date them or hook up with them, just be cool with them. But, when you tell them that's what you want they get mad like you not wanting to hook with them is a bad thing." I feel my eyebrow rise, knowing I didn't see him talking to girls ever but maybe that's because he did try and some of those girls maybe turned him down when they realized he was such a nice guy. I see a hand on his shoulder, see him look up at Lena, smile, and he says, "But not all girls are like that and not all guys are like that either. Some girls are cool with just getting to know each other and then all the other stuff can happen if it does, not forcing it. Just letting it happen when it does you know." I feel my smile seeing Lena smile at him and feel like laughing seeing Phil blush. I see him look back at me with that blush that reminds me of when we were all ten and he says, "So all I'm saying is stay away from both of them. Especially that girl. I'm not gonna say anything because that's her business but that girl and those other girls she hangs out with they're you know." I see him stop, look down, exhale, and he says, "They're just not nice girls you know." I feel my lips twist and my eyes water thinking that maybe Phil tried talking to Ashley or one of those popular girls and they turned him down because he's so nice. But looking at him I can't help but think how dumb those girls were. Phil's so good looking with his blue eyes, sandy blond hair under his Batman mask, and just so nice and smart and now he's even on the football team. They really lost out. Then I see Lena kiss his cheek and laugh seeing him get completely red again. I see him look up at me with that red face, see him smile and he says, "So thanks Jazmine for you know, letting me meet my girlfriend." I feel my eyes open, same with my mouth, look at Lena, and see her smile and nod, and can't help but laugh again.

Then I hear, "Hey Jazmine." I look over to my right, see Nicki in her Sailor Neptune outfit with that pretty aqua marine wig, and those pretty green eyes. She really looks like Sailor Neptune. I smile at her and say, "Hi Nicki. What's up?" I see her smile at Phil and Lena, say 'hi guys' to them, turn back to me and she says, "Well I just wanted to tell you, because I know you and your friends wanted to know, that security is leaving in fifteen minutes and you're definitely welcomed to stay but I know you didn't wanna be at a party if like anyone from the school that bothered you guys last time was here and I don't know if I can promise they won't come after security leaves." I feel my mouth open and before I can ask she says, "Yeah I know, it sucks. My parents paid them so they could stay until two when I want the party to end but I just talked to the head of security and he told me that they have another party they have to go work at." I see her purse her lips, look away, and she says, "I'm gonna tell my parents so we don't use that company again and they can get a refund for the hours they weren't here."

I look over at the crowd, see my friends and sister still talking to some people, how much fun they're having, exhale, look back at Nicki, and see her worried face looking at me again. I smile at her and say, "Don't worry about it Nicki. I'll let my sister and friends know and they can decide if they wanna leave. It's been the best party we've been to, so just know that okay." I see her exhale, smile, and know what my sister meant when she said Nicki's hot. She really is pretty with those eyes and now knowing how nice and sweet she really is. I hear her say, "Thanks Jazmine and it's been great having you all here. All my club friends liked talking to all your friends and I think some of my friends are even trying to start a new art club with your sister's boyfriend." I feel my smile, look over at Riley and see him still talking to those guys. That would be awesome. I hear Nicki say, "Well come say bye if you do go okay?" I turn back to her, smile at her, nod, see her turn to Lena, and she says, "And you and your boyfriend are still staying right Lena?" I look over at Lena and I see her smile and nod at Nicki. I hear footsteps leave, see Lena turn to me, and she says, "You should join our math club Jazzy. We need more girls." I smile and say, "I would Lena but I'm still volunteering at the nursing home. Maybe next semester." I see her smile. Next semester, that's not too long from now. Wait, time. What time is it? I pull out my phone, see it's a little pass 11:30 and I told Huey midnight. I exhale, thinking maybe it's okay if we stay until midnight. It'll only be fifteen minutes of no security. I look back at the crowd and see my little sister in her 'Fuu' outfit with that pink dress, her small sandals, and Momo on her shoulder and I exhale, not wanting her to go through what she went through last time.

I look over at Lena, see her smirk at me, and she says, "I'll see you on Monday, go." I smirk, look back at Phil, and say, "Take care of her after security leaves okay because she's really pretty." I see him smile so big I don't think I knew just how good looking he was until right now and he says, "Of course."

I grab my bag, my bestie's book, holding my cell all in the same hand, and walk over to the crowd, happy I feel comfortable in this party even though I know what I'm wearing is a little revealing. It's been so much fun. I exhale, get to that afro, see him stop talking to the group he was talking to, turn to me, see those burgundy eyes look down at me, feeling flushed, swallow, remember why I'm here, and tell him about security. I see him inhale and I grab his hand with my free hand. I look back down at my phone and see it's 11:35. I look up, see him turn back to the group, look over at Caesar, and I look over and see Caesar look at Huey. I see some kind of exchange between them, see Caesar exhale, turn back to Hiro and whisper to him. I hear the guys all say we're leaving and I see the group they were talking to look at me and smile. I smile and say bye to, feeling sad we're leaving and how much fun this has actually been. I feel that pull on my hand and I follow those broad shoulders.

As we get to my sister and friends in the other group I hear Riley say, "Nah man, it's 'bout water colors, I mean black and white is a'ight but you can't get deep with just two damn colors and whatever's between 'em. Shit, that's why colors are there. Think about that shit." I feel my eyes get big hearing Riley. I feel that warm hand let go, I'm sure to go around the group to go tell Riley about security. I see my little sister, walk up to her, grab her shoulder, see her look back at me with that very dark eyeliner and those rosy cheeks and can't help but smile. Focus Jazmine. I lean in and whisper into her ear about security. I pull away, see her pursed lips, see her nod, and then feel confused seeing a mask from the movie 'Scream' out of the corner of my eye. I look to my right at the person in that mask and black costume and see him looking in our direction, feeling really uncomfortable. I shake my head, look back down at my phone, see it's 11:40 and wonder if security left even earlier. I should tell Nicki. And she told me to say bye if we did leave.

I look up at that afro, see him talking to his brother, see him turn back to me, and I point to the guy with the mask. He looks at him, looks back at me, says something to his brother, and walks up to me. As he gets close, I put my hand on those shoulders, lean up towards his ear, feel him bend down, wanting to smile that I'm that short that he has to bend down even if I get on my tippy toes to get to his ear, and whisper, "I wanna say bye to Nicki." I hear him exhale and hear him say, "Hurry." I smile, lean back down, grab that warm hand, and head back to the back of the yard where I saw Sailor Neptune walk towards. As we get close I see Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus and can't help but smile at how pretty they both are. I let go of his hand, walk up to them, see them turn to me, and I say, "Okay, so we are gonna go but thank you again Sam and Nicki. It was great." I hear that monotone voice, remembering how he was raised no matter how much he doesn't like small talk, behind me say, "Thank you." I see them smile at us and then I hug Nicki, whisper about the guy with the mask and how I think security left earlier than they said they would, and she thanks me. Then I hug Sam, and whisper, "Take care of her because she's really really sweet Sam and remind her that it's her party and she can end it whenever she wants okay." I feel her hug me tighter and she whisper's, "Thanks Jazmine." I say, "Call me Jazzy." I feel her nod into my shoulder, pull away, and see her smiling at me.

I smile back, turn back to those burgundy eyes, and see them looking across the yard towards the house. I look around the yard and see a couple of witches that have to be cold, a few dead football players, some ghost, and costumes I think people just put together in their garage and closets. Then I feel my eyebrow rise seeing a blonde playboy bunny, which is really just a set of black bunny ears, a maid's choker with a bow, white cuffs with long black gloves, a black strapless swimsuit with a bunny tail on the back, and black pumps, knowing who that girl is, and wonder with the money and house she has why she's not having a party there. I feel that warmth around my hand, feel the pull, and follow those broad shoulders, feeling stares this time from those dead football players and ghost and feeling guilty wanting them to stare at the witches and bunny instead of me.

As we get to the house I see that person with the 'Scream' outfit in the corner, reminding me of that last party when Cairo was leaning on the side of the wall of the backyard, just looking at me. I look down, knowing I don't like looking down anymore, but feeling almost naked with my arms and legs exposed, walk up closer to Huey, feel his knuckles brush up my hip, and I exhale. I feel him stop, let go of my hand, and before I can ask what's wrong, I see him take off that red open shirt Mugen is supposed to wear, see him turn to me, and put the shirt over my shoulders. I smile, put my arms through the arm holes, keeping my purse over my shoulder and moving the book from one hand to the other, feel him grab my hand again, and we continue walking towards the house, feeling better about this shirt that smells like Irish Spring soap covering my arms and my butt and my thighs.

As we get through the house I hold the book over his shirt tighter seeing girls in costumes that look more like clothes I see in Gangstalicious's music videos, and guys not wearing costumes at all, just looking like they're going to a party, walking pass us.

As soon as we're outside, in front of the house, I see the vans for the security guards are gone and they did leave early. I hope Nicki's parents get their money back.

I look over at Leo's car, see my little sister's brown hair, Ming's black hair, and Lauren's blue hair over the hood of that car, getting in the back of the car, happy we all fit in Leo's car because it's a Cadillac Escalade. I feel my smile knowing he bought a used one, even though it's still really new, because there's no point in buying a new car because Leo said, 'as soon as it's off the lot it depreciates in value' and Huey said, 'buying a new one just makes the white man sitting at the top of the financial company richer'. And I like that that car can fit eight people if we make the back row into a bench. And that's where us girls, because we're smaller than the guys, are going to sit. As we get to the car I exhale, feeling happy we get to go home now. Poor Nicki. It seemed like she was having a good time to. Hopefully Sam takes my advice and reminds her girlfriend that she can stop the party whenever she wants.

I get up to the door, see Caesar in the front passenger seat putting on his seatbelt, Hiro and Riley in the two full seats behind the driver and front passenger seat doing the same thing, see my friends sittings in in the back row, feel that hand let go, those warm hands on my hips, feel a lift, smile, and jump in, grabbing Riley's hand for support. I feel those warm hands leave my hips, feel Riley's hand leave my own, grab Lauren's hand as she helps me further in, and smile, sitting down next to her with Huey's book on my lap. I hear the automatic door close, look to my left at my friends, and feel my smile get bigger seeing Hiro's red cape around Lauren's body, the top of Caesar's orange gi on Ming's shoulders, and Riley's dark blue Kimono over my little sister's shoulders. I feel so happy for us and the sweet guys we have. The sweet guys that got us out of there before it got bad. That party. It was so much fun. Hopefully we can do that again.

I hear a door close, look to the front, see that afro in the driver's seat that's the only person that has a permit in this car and I know drives safe enough that police never look at him twice. And if they do stop him I will not let them racially profile him without a good argument. I exhale, seeing him put his seatbelt on, and know we'll be home soon, safe from creepy people. I hear the car turn on, look at the rearview mirror, see those dark burgundy, almost auburn, eyes looking at me, and exhale. I can almost swear I see that pull on his face even if I can't see his lips. I see those eyes look towards the road, feel the car move, and I look back at that house we were just in. I see some more people walking in, also wearing really bad costumes, no costumes, or just close to nothing. Then I inhale, seeing that person with that 'Scream' outfit on the front yard looking at us. I also see Ashley in that playboy bunny outfit standing next to him and talking to him. I exhale, remembering what Phil said, how she might have been one of the girls that was mean to him, and know I'm not going to feel sorry for her anymore. I feel a warm small hand grab my hand, and I exhale and put my head on Lauren's shoulder, happy to be going home as the car moves.

I ask, "Did she reply sis?" I see her exhale, taking off that pretty kimono, looks back at her phone on my bed, smiles at it, and says, "Yeah. Just said her girl's shutting it down right now cuz of the stupid people that got there." I exhale and say, "Good. She doesn't need people there that she didn't invite." I start taking off the clips in my hair and then hear both our phones vibrate, look down at my phone on the bed, and say, "Sissy, Laurie just texted that she's home to." I hear her say, "Cools. Night was great until security fucken took off." I take off the last clip, take off the wig, and smile seeing that brown wig in my hands. I exhale, happy with the night, look up and see my sister looking at her wig with a smile. I see her look up, smirk, and she says, "Think Riles thought it was cool but I think he likes ma real hair more." I smile and say, "Let's hurry back sissy." I see her smile, nod, and turn, walking to her room to get ready.

After we're done we walk over to the Freeman house, without waking up Leo or mom knowing Leo will probably want to walk us over and we don't want him getting up just for that. We walk in, knowing the door is unlocked, close the door and lock it behind us, look inside, see the lights are off other than the ones coming from their rooms, and the guys are not around. I look at my sister, see her move her shoulders up and down, hugs me, and then walks up to Riley's room. I look down the hallway and see Huey's door open with his lights on. As I walk closer to the door I hear the trombone and trumpets, feel my smile, hear the bass, and feel it get bigger hearing the vocals start, 'I think it's time we blow this scene. Get everybody and the stuff together. Ok, three, two, one, let's jam!' I stop at the door, exhale, feel myself focus on that door frame, inhale, walk into the room, close the door behind me, put my night bag on the drawer by the door, turn back to the bed, see those feet, those calves, those dark basketball shorts he likes using to go to sleep in, that white cotton shirt that's thick and white like the bedsheets on that bed, see that book he's holding, and make a mental note to look for more books from that author. I see him bring that book down, see him look at my hair, and feel my smile seeing him exhale. He likes my natural hair. I like it to. It reminds me of who I am, which I'm still learning about, but I know I'm part black.

My hair also reminds me of how smart he is. How after I almost burned my hair off that day, washing it, drying it, washing it again, and drying it again, I came to him, so he could fix it because I knew he could. I remember I was so ashamed I had done that to my hair. I had been like everyone else and I just knew he would never want to be my friend again and I just had to be okay with that. Really, I just wanted him to fix it so I could spend more time with him, even though I knew after that day, after he fixed it, he would never talk to me again. I just knew it. I had lost him. And then when he shut the door, I knew I had lost him. I remember looking down at my wet sandals, cute pink sandals I had from the last time my parents had taken me to the beach and all of sudden, I wanted to throw those sandals away. I didn't want to look at them. They were ugly sandals. They were plastic ugly sandals. Plastic and ugly like I was after I changed my hair to look more like something I wasn't. I wasn't white. I knew that. The girls at school told me enough that I knew. I didn't know what it meant, but I knew it was a bad thing to not be white. I knew my hair, my lips, and maybe even my skin color not being white enough was a bad thing. I was a bad thing. I was weird and ugly and I tried changing it by putting that stuff on my hair. But, inside I would always be ugly because those girls at school were right. If I wasn't completely white, I was ugly. I remember looking at those pink plastic sandals and knowing I was just like them, plastic and fake like those girls on TV with the big boobs and the big lips that I knew weren't real. I was ugly and plastic like them. The girls at school told me I was ugly. Now I was also plastic. I was ten and I was weird and ugly and plastic. And because of that, I didn't deserve him as a friend. I remember looking back at that door, saying I was sorry for everything, but specially for being plastic and ugly. And then, I turned around, knowing as soon as I got to the trashcans by the garage I was gonna throw away those ugly sandals and I was gonna go up to my room and cry because I was just as ugly and plastic as those sandals and because I was those things I had lost him.

I remember getting to that sidewalk, looking at those trashcans from there, and then feeling something warm and strong on my shoulder, holding me. I turned around, saw those eyes I thought were a brownish red at the time, heard him say he could fix it, not really hearing anything else about how he could, just knowing I heard he said he could. I remember hugging him and crying some more, not knowing I had been crying, but happy, happy because he wanted to help me even after I put that stuff on my hair, after I became like everyone else, after I was ashamed of my hair that I thought came from Tom's part of the family. I realized as I was hugging him, that I had been ashamed about that side of me, my black side, because of what those girls said to me at school, the things my best friend didn't know they said to me at school. I was also ashamed because Tom didn't want to talk about that part of my family anymore and I didn't know why, and because I just didn't know what or who I was and if I would ever be pretty if those girls at school called me those names so much. I wondered if I would ever grow out of my ugliness. I remember smelling his shirt, not caring that I was smelling it and putting my tears and buggers on it, just wanting him to remind me that it was okay to be me, to be his best friend, no matter what I was. Smelling his shirt, knowing who he was, made me also think that I wanted to be black, at least little. I wanted to be proud and part of something so colorful and amazing like him. I didn't know if I would feel different about it on Monday morning when those girls would call me those names again, but at least at that moment, I didn't care as long as he was my best friend. And maybe hopefully one day I would know what I was and be proud of it and maybe even be part of something as colorful and smart as the black community was, because that's what Huey was and he was black. My best friend was black and I loved it.

That day, when he let me put my snots on his shirt, grabbed my hand, walked me up his shared room, sat me on his bed and left me there to go to the garage saying there was toxic stuff in there and didn't want me following him, coming back half an hour later with a bottle of pink liquid and telling me to put it on, I remember those hours of waiting for him to come back, putting that stuff on my hair that smelled like bubble gum, feeling him put that stuff in my hair in his restroom while I hummed a song, happy he was still my best friend, I just felt happy, happy he cared. I felt happy because was acting like my best friend, not giving me the bottle and just telling me to do it myself and sending me home and then never talking to me again, like I still thought I deserved. He had grabbed my hand, taken me to his restroom and put that bubble gum smelling stuff on my hair himself. And the best part was hearing him talk about that stuff and how he made it with those numbers and letters I didn't understand and hearing him complain about Grandad and Riley wanting more of that hair stuff. He was just talking to me like we were still best friends and would still be after that day. I didn't want to imagine my life without my best friend. And, I felt happy he wanted my hair to be like it used to be, big and fluffy. As I sat there in his restroom, humming, happy he was putting that stuff on my hair to fix it, I even remembered a day on our hill when he compared my hair to big fluffy clouds. I knew at that moment he liked my hair and maybe he liked who I was, even if wasn't sure about who I was. He's always liked my hair.

I see those dark burgundy eyes come down from my hair that's down and still a little wet from showering only because I wanted to take the smell from that party and so many people off me before coming to his house. I see those eyes stop at my face and wonder what he sees, now that I have no makeup, no kind of revealing outfit, wearing my pink sweater and my jeans. I see him put down that book, hoping he made sure to mark the page he was on, see him get up from the bed, walk up to me, crane my neck to see that stubble I'm going to kiss tonight, and then feel those lips on mine. I smile, put my hands on those shoulders I like so much, feel those hands on my hips, and before he can do anything else, I jump and put my legs around that waist. I hear him groan, taste his tongue, that toothpaste he uses, feel those warm hands on my butt, feel him carrying me, and then that clean warm bed on my back. I feel those hands on my hips, that cock on my stomach, and remember I have my jeans on. I bring my hands down from those shoulders, put then between us, start unbuckling my jeans, feel him pull away, and hear him say, "Jazmine, what are you," but I cut him off with, "Taking off my pants because I'm going to help you, now lay down." I swallow, trying to figure out when I got this courageous, even with him, see him look at me with those eyes, see that smirk, and feel him move away. I see him step back, so I get off the bed, and feel him looking at me as I take off my converse, my socks, and my jeans, which I realize we've never done. I look back up at those eyes and see him looking at my low-rise purple and white striped cotton underwear that tie at the hips and I thought were a little too big to be sexy but right now I'm starting to think they're a little too revealing on the sides. I exhale, pull my pink sweater over my head, leaving me in only my white spaghetti strap I was going to use to sleep in, with no bra. I was also going to wear my shorts that are in my night bag but I can't remember what color those shorts are right now. Also, I just realized how tight this shirt is, enough that it's hugging my stomach. Then I feel myself squirm seeing him lick his lips and wonder if I really want to wait until my birthday next year. Focus Jazmine.

I swallow and say, "Lay down." I see that tall figure move to the bed, not taking his eyes off of my stomach for some reason, and lay down like he was when I had walked in. I exhale, get on top of the bed, by his legs, grab that book that's on the bed, knowing how important they are to him, climb back down, walk over to the nightstand next to him, put it down, hear him exhale and curse, feel that hand on my left hip, look to my right, see that face move in, and feel his lips on mine. I open my mouth, put my hands in that hair, and then remember. I pull away, see those glazed eyes, push those shoulders back on to the headboard, and he lets me. I look down at that stubble remembering he's my boyfriend and I can do this. I move in, kiss that chin, feeling that soft hair, and see his chest move up with that. I pull away, smile at those glazed eyes, step back to where his legs are, crawl back onto the bed next to his legs again, go over his legs, and this time stay on top of him, with my legs spread over his legs. I look back at those burgundy eyes and see them go from my hair, to my face, back down to my stomach and know last time we did this with the lights off. I exhale, remember he's my Huey, and he doesn't care if my hips are too wide, my hair is too big, I have acne scars my friends say they can't see but I can, or that I'm not ask skinny as girls like Ashley. He likes me just like I am, with my wide hips, my fluffy hair, my skin that's darker than it used to be, and my curves I'm starting to really like. And, I really want to taste it this time. I take the scrunchy I remembered to keep on my wrist, grab my fluffy hair and put in that scrunchy to hold it down, seeing that beautiful eyebrow rise, probably confused.

I put my hands on the bed next to his hips, look down at that cock under those shorts, not believing still that I do that to him, and pull down on those shorts with my right hand. I see those hips lift and pull down those shorts and briefs with my right hand while he pulls the left side down. Once it's out I swallow the saliva in my mouth, hoping I do this right, because I don't want to hurt him and I want him to like it. I place my hand on that base again, hear him inhale, put my hand around that base, hear him curse again, and move up slowly like I read online. I go up and down slowly to make sure to make the blood flow. I see his hands grab on to the bed sheets again and feel my smile knowing that's a good sign. I want him to really like this. And, I need to stop thinking about that heat that's building between my legs. Focus on Huey. I continue stroking, making sure I use that precum that's coming out of him, knowing what it is and knowing it's good for coating it, but I could get pregnant with just that if we don't use birth control. I hear him say my name in that voice and I look up and see those eyes completely glazed over and that auburn color I've only seen a few times. I exhale, realizing it happens some time at night and when we're doing this, whatever this is. I see him focus on my white shirt, that I also just realized might be see-through. I look back down at his hands, see those knuckles are white now, go back up to his eyes, and seeing those auburn eyes, feel my eyes glaze over seeing him that happy. I want him to be happy. So, I look back down at that cock in my hand, reach the top again, stop at the head like last week, holding it there bent towards his stomach, lower my face towards that cock, hearing him take a long inhale, go even lower down to those balls that are just as sensitive as any other part of his body, lick my lips, open my mouth, feel that cock in my hand twitch I think, and let my tongue go from the bottom of those balls, up that line between those balls, that's actually the extra skin over the urethra on his penis, tasting that skin I wanted to taste today, and reach the top of his balls where his penis starts.

I hear him curse and say my nickname again, look up, see those eyes are closed, like last time, look back down at that cock, feel my eyes open seeing the cum coming out, and know what I really want to do. Action Jazmine, no more descriptions. I move up and put my mouth over the head that I'm holding, feeling the soft skin with my lips and then my hand coated in that precum, feel a push down on my head, hear him say, "God yes", loud, knowing he doesn't believe in religion or god, and close my eyes, tasting it coming into my mouth. I still don't know why I wanted to do this. I don't really think this is what people call 'giving head' or 'giving a blow job' because all I did was stroke his penis, lick him, and then put my mouth over his head after he'd started to cum. I don't know what this is we're doing, but I do know one thing. I was right. He taste like clean vegetables, thick hard work, and energy that only comes from sunshine.

I'm trying to not think about it. I have more self-control than this. I do. But it was less difficult yesterday because she left early in the morning to spend time with her mother and sister at the mall. So I didn't have to look at those lips all day, thinking about what she had done the night before. But today I do. I inhale pulling out my book for my second period, knowing I still need to take out the one for my first period, see my journal, and exhale, knowing even though those lips are making me remember, I was looking forward to seeing them all day today. And, most things I look forward to, involve her. They always have. Even those experiments I did on myself as a kid, making myself watch black television for an extended period to see if there were detrimental side effects was in part to make her stop watching any of those shows with actual scientific proof of the negative effects. Yes, the goal was always the betterment of my community, but I considered her part of that community and knew the moment I had any new route or theory on how to better any part of it, I would tell her first. At the time I thought I told her my plans, theories because I wanted to talk out loud to sort them out and needed a living person there so I wouldn't seem even more delusional than I could be at times, like I had really lost my grip on reality, like I did when I finally started seeing that secret agent that was a figment of my imagination. At the time I thought she was just as good as anyone else. I just needed someone there. But, I also only ever asked her. And, I also talked about those plans, those theories, on that hill where I only met her. I exhale, accepting many things for just what they are.

I hear that voice whisper, "Bestie." I look down to my left at those morning jades that are my favorite color. Damn the world and what it thinks if it is my favorite color. I see that smile and hear her say, "Remember to make room for our lunch." I exhale, nod, and let her see my smirk, which is as close as whatever she calls my smile I have ever had at school. I look back to my locker and move some of the books for my other later classes over, the classes that teach nothing but I still have to attend.

Then, I hear that girl that invited us to her girlfriend's party talking to her and hope it's not another party because I want that Saturday night this week, with her sitting on my lap, in my room. I hear that girl panting and hear the words, 'Facebook, pictures, and party', close my eyes, and know I'll be missing homeroom and not enjoying it this time. I look back to my left at her, see those jades look at me with that worried look, exhale, and I say, "Make it to homeroom." I see that smile and feel this 'feeling' knowing she knows what I'm going to do and I do not have to explain it to her. I still need more time to figure out these 'feelings' but for now I need to make it home to my computer. I hear her whisper, "Okay bestie. I'll see you in 1st." I want to kiss those dark pink lips because I won't get to see them for an entire hour when I normally would but we're in the school hallway, fifteen minutes before homeroom is to start, with some idiot guys looking at her and girls I know pass by to look at me for their own reasons, regardless of the fact that I have a girlfriend, and don't need them seeing anything we do because that stays between us. I see those lips move and hear her whisper, "I know bestie. Later. Promise." I exhale, knowing that might mean until Saturday night because of the numerous responsibilities we both have during the week and for the most part, do not get to be alone until Saturday night. But right now, I have to make sure she's taken care of. I exhale, nod, zip up my backpack, turn back towards the front door of the school entrance and start jogging to make it home, take care of that, and then run back to school before 1st period starts where I already have the highest rank because it's only precalculus but I like watching her fidget while she tries to understand functions. I like things today. I exhale and run faster towards the entrance of the school.

I walk into 1st, see that thick blonde afro being held down by those two small braids, and I exhale. I walk towards the seat next to her, seeing those idiot guys look away, thinking I wasn't here and they could possibly talk to her today, and inhale, seeing my precalculus book on my desk. We get marked down if we do not bring those damn books to class and I just remembered I didn't take it out of my locker before running back home. She brought it for me. I look over at her, see her smiling at me, without that worried look anymore, and know that run back home was insignificant.

I sit down and hear that voice to my right whisper, "Thank you bestie. You fixed it." I exhale, knowing it only took one e-mail to my connections at Facebook, making them aware of the fact that they are all underaged, and now all the pictures of Jazmine and her sister and friends from that party have been pulled down. I'm sure those pictures are also on students' phones and could be posted through other social media so I also made sure to contact my connections at Instagram, Twitter, and Google, to make them aware of that possibility. Those contacts, who owe me for several 'job's' I completed in the last few years, said they would stay on top of it. And now, at least through Facebook, which was the only platform they were posted on, the few pictures idiot kids took of Jazmine and my brother's and friends' girlfriends before we left have all been removed and cannot be posted again unless those people want their Facebook accounts cancelled. I'm only concerned about the pictures of Jazmine and her friends so I won't put my energy into the other pictures students post that were taken after we left. Also, having thought about it beforehand, the only pictures that were posted of Jazmine and her sister and friends were of them wearing our larger clothing. I exhale, knowing my friends knew what was to come and also put those shirts and capes over them to cover them.

I see my math notebook and a pencil being placed on my desk, knowing she opened my backpack, took out my notebook and pencil, and placed them on my desk, allowing me to gather my thoughts, and I exhale, wondering if 'later' can come before Saturday night.

I hear Hiro say, "Yeah man I'ma fuck him up if he talks shit again." I look over at him and see him looking over at that table that idiot that tried talking to his girlfriend at that party is sitting. Apparently, he's even more of an idiot and actually told Hiro's girlfriend she shouldn't be with him because Hiro's family is from another fucken continent. Fucken idiot. I look over at that table and see that idiot looking over at the line where I know those hips, along with her sister and friends, are standing in line to get drinks. I feel my eyebrow rise wondering how much of an idiot he actual is, thinking Hiro is someone to be trifled with. Then, I see that idiot look over here and then look away, possibly from Hiro looking at him or from what apparently are the rumors some girls started about Hiro being in some gang because of his tattoos, which is closer to the truth than they know.

I hear Caesar say, "Shit bro, well at least you can just fuck him up. I can't fucken believe I'm dealing with this shit. I thought that shit was done man." I exhale and look over at that girl, his ex-girlfriend, sitting next to the revolutionary moron she cheated on him with because she's apparently no longer seeing that girl Miranda. I exhale longer, trying to relax, looking at that table and seeing that other fucken moron that was hiding behind that mask at this last weekend's party, sitting next that girl again that was wearing a bathing suit and nothing else when it wasn't a pool party, it's fall and we live in Maryland. I also remember thinking, although I do not like the beach, sand, or warm weather in general, I want to see those hips and curves in a bathing suit one day. Those curves. I inhale seeing that fucken moron looking at those curves that I'm sure are at the front of the line now, over that girl's head again.

I hear my brother say, "Yeah man. The fuck happen? I thought her ass was keeping Miranda's crazy fucking ass busy." I exhale, look back at Caesar, see him looking down at the table, look up at me, and he says, "I know Hu. I can change my number but I don't wanna do that shit just cuz of her. My mom's and my other family got this number." I exhale and remember, after changing it when he moved here, he did give his new phone number to his family and of course his mother. But there are still ways as long as I know where she lives, which is the most likely place she'll be calling from at night and any other places she might sleep at. He continues, "I mean it was bound to happen man. This school's like that. I think it's that damn fucken counselor that makes it happen. The kids here, the white ones or the ones with money that want something just gotta go to him and he gets them the shit they need. Probably gave it to her cuz she paid his ass or some'ing. I don't know but I know my number's registered with the school cuz my uncle put in on there just in case anything happens to him and they need to find me and I ain't in class. So, I know that's probably how she got it. I knew putting my number there was a bad idea. Shit." I see him exhale, look away, and he says, "And I meant it when I said it. I don't fucken care that she's here. I just don't want her calling or texting me or fucken sending me pictures from different numbers at fucken weird hours of the night man, like fucken last night and then today in the morning. I don't even know if Ming's gonna believe that I didn't give her my number." I exhale and look up at the girls, seeing his girlfriend talking to that blonde afro, seeing those dark pink lips smile, and I exhale.

I hear my brother say, "Caes." I look back down at my brother and see he's turned around, looking at the girls. I hear Caesar respond, "Yeah man." I hear my brother exhale and he says, "I on't know Ming but I know Cin." I feel my eyebrow rise, see Caesar look over at my brother as he keeps looking at the girls, and then hear my brother say, "And I knows, for a fucken fact man, if Cin found out 'bout some ex texting and calling ma ass through anyone else but me, she wouldn't trust ma ass no more." I feel my eyebrows rise hearing him give good advice to Caesar. I look over at Caesar, see him look at me, with that smirk, knowing he's wondering the same thing about when my brother decided to grow up, see him exhale, stand up, and turn, walking towards the girls. I shake my head, look down and grab the next sandwich with those jalapenos she adds and she doesn't need to know are the only reason I eat as many as she brings me. I take a bite, tasting those jalapenos, look up at that those greens seeing her talking to her sister and Hiro's girlfriend, while Ming looks in our direction, I'm sure seeing Caesar walking towards her. I look back at those greens, down to those lips, and inhale, remembering some of those names. Those fucken names. I feel my temperature rising, see those greens look at me, and exhale, knowing even though I wasn't the best friend to her I should have been, I made sure no one would ever call her those fucken names again. I inhale, being reminded by those names about my LSAT book I didn't bring today and how much work still needs to be done for my people. Then, I feel my eyebrow rise seeing Caesar talking to Ming, holding both her hands in the middle of the cafeteria, either because he's never cared what people think or because he wants to make sure his girlfriend doesn't walk over to his ex-girlfriend after he tells her about those phone calls, texts, and pictures that apparently started last night after those pictures from that party were posted on Facebook.

Apparently, because of those pictures idiot guys and some girls at this school, including Caesar's ex-girlfriend found out how 'committed', which is really another term for 'not cheating', we are, because dressing up as couples for Halloween somehow proves that, and now they're trying to see if they can test us all again. But, I also understand what's really happening. I exhale. These students, kids, date each other, then date others who have also dated the same people. It's a circle in which STDs are prevalent. I'm not against people dating multiple people, but what these kids do not understand is that by dating and in many of their cases, having sex, with people without protection and using methods like pulling out, which of course can still lead to pregnancy, they are also contracting any STDs those people have through other people they've dated. It's a health risk. One that my people do not suffer as much by because, unlike society believes, the black community is somewhat conservative when it comes to sex and many choose to wait until they're in their later teens or even until they're adults. This of course comes from the fact that many know if they did become pregnant at a young age they wouldn't only have that to deal with but also the fact that their parents, black parents, much of the time fall under the poverty line and cannot afford to help their ill prepared teenage kids that are having a child of their own. Black kids do think about these things. Why have sex and possibly get pregnant when their own family cannot even support them and are still subjected to discrimination in many areas of life?

There is also another reason my community is conservative in this matter and is not fully discussed in history books and that reason is the fact that the black community has suffered from centuries of laws in place that made it difficult to have a settled home with a normal family unit, like the fact that slaves could not marry without the consent of their masters and even if they were given that consent those same masters used those familial connections to control those slaves by owning that person's spouse and children and even selling those children and spouses off if that slave decided they no longer wanted to be treated like cattle. So, many masters used those children, those familial connections, to keep those slaves docile. In response to those laws, most slaves waited to have sex, have children, families, because there was little hope, if any, in actually having those connections without the fear of them being severed by a master. And those ways in which my people lived, survived, with the fear of having children too early and having those connections severed, transcended those times and affect us even today in the form of fear of economic hardship, violence, and racism leading to violence. Slavery turned into subjugation, which then turned into control through laws like redlining and Jim Crow, placing and then keeping my people in the ghettos and under the poverty line, where violence permeates. I close my eyes to prevent the headache that comes when I think about history, how backwards this world is right now, and how my people are thought of today, which is wrong. And then there's these students, these kids that know nothing of this and do not care about any of this history, that are fixated on things like social media and television shows that mean nothing. I exhale. That's why these kids are testing us, because of those pictures on Facebook. These kids that, unlike much of my people, do not use protection are only interested because they think somehow the group that sits at this table is special in that regard, special from the black community and even special from them, because we are 'committed' and are known to not have dated or have had sex with numerous people at this school. I inhale, knowing we are not special from the black community or any other people, we just are. Just like those hips that should be walking over here soon are exactly what she is. I exhale longer, open my eyes, and see those hips, being reminded that she has them more than likely because she's part black, and feel my smirk knowing she's not only part black, she's the most aware girl I know. I take another bite from that sandwich, tasting those jalapenos, waiting for those hips to walk back here.

Then I hear Hiro say, "Riley, since your ass is finally cool talking about how into your girl you actually fucken are, tell me how the fuck to stop these girls from dropping numbers at my desk?" I look over at my brother, see him turn around, see his eyebrow rise and his smirk, knowing he might have grown up a bit but he's still my idiot brother, and I hear him say, "Tell their asses stop being hoes." I hear Hiro's cackle, followed by my brother's, and then hear Ming's voice from here say, "I'ma fuck up that hoe! The fuck's her problem that stupid bitch!" I look up and see Caesar holding Ming's waist, I'm sure trying to calm her down like that last time. I look over at those hips seeing them walk over to Ming and know she's going to help and not make things worse.

I take another bite, seeing the girls reach Ming, now talking to her, as Caesar holds her waist and I see him look at me with that smirk, I'm sure content she believes him because she found out through him. I look over at my brother seeing him watching the girls, I'm sure looking at Jazmine's younger sister, and I take another bite, knowing having them in the same school, at this age, has helped.

Then I hear Hiro say, "I'ma fuck him up if she tells me he said some stupid shit again." I look back at the girls and see that idiot that doesn't know Hiro's reputation walking up to them and I exhale. I put my sandwich down, ready to stop a fight I'm sure will end with someone having a few broken bones and none of them will be Hiro's. I see Caesar say, 'Idiot walking up here', and see the girls turn away from Ming towards that idiot as he gets to them. I exhale, knowing these kids do not want to see a real fight or it might just get my friend expelled. I inhale, knowing I have to be ready to stop that fight, focus on that ass, at the edge of her friends, as that idiot talks to them, and start wondering about the swimsuit again. Then, I see that ass move up, lift her arm in that purple sweater that she says reminds her of Grandad and I stand up, knowing what's about to happen and I won't get there on time to stop her. I start running towards them, hearing my brother and Hiro behind me and see her hand come up and slap that idiot, which he probably deserved, but she's going to get in trouble, making it that much more difficult to stay in AP classes with me. I don't lie to myself. I want her in those classes with me for more than just educational purposes.

I take those last two steps, grab that waist and pull her in, feeling her squirm, and hear her say, "The hell's your problem! You don't talk to her like that you jerk!" I squeeze that small waist and feel her stop squirming, probably knowing she needs to calm down. I hear her sister say, "The fuck is your problem you piece of shit saying that kind of shit to my Laurie! I will fuck you up!" I look over and see my brother standing next to Cindy with his hand on her shoulder I'm sure ready to stop her. Then I hear Ming say, "You better leave you piece of shit before we all fuck you up talking to our girl like that." I look over and see Caesar still holding her waist. Then I hear someone, much quieter say, "I'm gonna say this in the language you like using to flirt with me so you can understand and because I don't want the school knowing." I look down to my right and see Hiro holding Lauren's waist and hear her continue, "Pinche estúpido no lo conoces y te jodera. Él tiene una historia de jediéndose a chicos como tú y peor. No lo provoques. Y no me molestes otra vez o te pondré una demanda de acoso sexual." I see that hand that was helping me two days ago, remembering that gift for her next birthday, come up and hold onto Lauren's shoulder, feeling my smirk, knowing she might be close to being fluent in Spanish with how close Lauren and she are.

Then I hear, "But I will fuck you up before my girl even does that shit." I look at Hiro, see him looking at that idiot, and know that fight at the park was him holding back because he didn't want anything else on his record but that was before he moved here, with a clean record now because of that family he does have, and know he wouldn't care what's added to it as long as he's content, and Jazmine's friend, Lauren, makes him content and apparently knows about his history. I exhale, knowing I do not want him killing some fucken idiot but will only stop him after he makes sure the idiot blacks out.

Then I hear that voice say, "Of course." I close my eyes, knowing that idiot counselor stands by the cafeteria doorway during lunch to catch us during these kinds of times and I know I am not being paranoid about that as I've been called about the government surveillance we live under. Then I hear that voice under me say, "Mr. Leon. Leave. Now." I inhale, open my eyes, and look down at that blond afro under me and hear that counselor say, "Ms. Dubois you will not," but she cuts him off with, "Mr. Leon I just slapped him because he disrespected my friend and I will do it again. Now you walk away before I call my mom and tell her you stopped me from defending my friend from being sexually harassed." I look at that counselor, see him inhale, and hear Ming say, "Walk away you racist piece of shit." I see him look at Ming, squint his eyes at her, hear Caesar inhale, and wonder just how much not only students at this school, but the staff itself want to tests us all. Then I hear Jazmine's sister, low enough that only we can hear, which I didn't think was possible for her, say, "I'ma only say this shit one fucken time Leon. I will fucken post that shit online that you were caught being a trifling piece of shit with that hoe Ashley's mom last fucken week at the school again if you 'on't leave us the fuck alone." I feel my eyebrow rise, not necessarily surprised, but rather because I didn't think he would be that much of a fucken idiot to be caught again, in the same place, after what Jazmine told me. Jazmine. I squeeze that waist and feel her exhale.

I see that counselor look at Cindy, feel that inhale under me, and then hear my brother say, "Don't be looking at ma girl like that you piece of shit and leave." I see that counselor inhale, look down, know his thinking, see him exhale, turn, and walk away.

Then I hear Hiro say, "You come up to my girl again, I'ma look for you and break your arm befor' your ass blacks out." I look back at that guy, see him inhale, like that other fucken moron that came looking for Caesar's girlfriend, thinking he had an actual say in her choices, look at Hiro, look away, and walk away.

I hear a few exhales, followed by, "But why not Cairo!" I shiver, remembering we are too close to that table, move my hand away from her waist, grab her hand, and walk back to our table, not wanting these 45 minutes in which we're supposed to eat and prepare for the rest of the day get worse.

I ask, "Lena, do you think I can just go hang out with you during your 5th and your teacher will be okay with it? I'll be quiet and do homework. Please?" I hear her laugh, making me smile, and I hear her say, "I don't think Ms. Robertson will be okay with that but you could always skip." I exhale, knowing I thought about doing that by going to our room but I don't want to do anything else that I could get in trouble doing today because of what happened during lunch. I can't believe that jerk actually said that to her. I inhale, thinking about Lauren, and how much I want to slap him again.

I hear her say, "I'm gonna be sure to be in AP classes with you next year so I can help you deal with these people." I laugh and then feel my face fall seeing him standing outside of my class again, looking this way. I close my eyes, open them, look back at Lena, see her looking at me, and hear her whisper, "Just think about your sister's game and it'll make you happy." I feel my smile coming back and can't help but stop, bring my arm around her shoulders and bring her in. I hear her laugh, feel her arms around me, and hear her whisper, "I'll be there rooting for your sis and your friends and when football season starts I want you all at my boyfriend's games okay?" I smile, exhale, and say, "Okay."

I let go, see her turn and I watch her keep walking to her class. I feel my smirk, knowing no matter how bad some people at this school are, some people are awesome. I turn to my class, see him again, exhale, pass him and walk into class.

I hear Ms. Reed say, "Okay, since we are discussing rates of incarceration, specifically in the U.S. since the 1970's, I want you all to discuss the ways in which having racialized incarceration can affect a society. Write down whatever it is you discuss on a piece of paper and don't worry about writing everything down, just as much as you can. Make sure to write everyone's full name at the top of the page. One page per group. And try to see other's points of view on this very controversial topic. Groups of three to four people only and work on this until the end of class."

I exhale, thinking how much more these kids could learn from Huey being in this class, then I hear a girl's voice say, "Hey Jazmine, can we be in your group?" I look up, smile, and say, "Sure Adah, but it's just me so that's good because that makes three." I see Adah and Johnny smile and I exhale, knowing I like them both because they've always been nice. I see Adah sit in the seat next to me and Johnny in the seat in front of her, then I hear, "Hey can I be in your group?" I exhale, look away, and hear Johnny say, "Sure." I inhale and look at the clock on the wall. Twenty minutes and then class is over. I can handle twenty minutes with Cairo. I turn back to Adah, see both her and Johnny turned their desks and chairs to look at me, and she has a paper on her desk. I smile, happy she's gonna do the writing this time, stand, turn my desk towards them, not looking at him sitting to my left, sit back down, exhale, I say, "Okay, who wants to start?"

I hear Johnny say, "I guess I can start. I mean I know with my family all being part of our church I always hear about how we gotta help the people that come out of jail or prison the most because they need to repent and change their ways but it's hard for them because they can't show up to church like they're supposed to every Sunday and do their confessionals because they're at their parole officer's or doing community service. So, I don't know how we can help them like that, but I know people being in jail and coming out affects them going to church and that affects society." I feel my small smile, knowing he's really religious but I've never seen him treat people from other religions differently and I like that about him. I look back at Adah, see her writing, look up at me, and she says, "Well I think with that I can see that those people coming out of prison have a lot of problems already, not just going to church but like just getting a job because I think people don't like hiring people that come out of prison." I feel my exhale, knowing they're not getting the subject we're supposed be talking about. Then I hear Cairo say, "Teacher means about race and shit. Like how being black means you go to prison more than whites and how that makes it harder for blacks." I feel my eyebrow rise, remembering how my bestie told me about how he used to stand out there with him on those sidewalks. But, he's also not getting it. I hear Johnny say, "But Ms. Reed said how it affects society. Society is not just one race." He's right, but he's not getting it either. I exhale, thinking about that smart afro.

Then I hear Ms. Reed's voice say, "Good introduction into the topic." I look up, see her looking over Adah's shoulder at the paper, and then she says, "But you're missing the subject matter. Look at the prompt again and see if you can figure it out." I exhale, seeing her walk away, and then hear Adah say, "I just don't get it, what are we missing? I wrote down that we talked about people coming out of prison and not being able to do things like going to church, being part of the community like that, and finding jobs and how African Americans go to prison more than other races and it affects them. I just don't know what she means. This class confuses me." I hear Johnny say, "Yeah. I don't get it either. I like Ms. Reed but the stuff she teaches is just hard to understand sometimes." I exhale and hear Cairo say, "I mean I know she's talking about race and shit and how people that are in the same race go to prison cuz she said racialized and I know what incarceration means but I don't get what she thinks we're missing and shit." I look away and exhale, thinking if maybe he would've been on that sidewalk with that warm brain with those maroons and those dreads with that big smile, he would have learned about this stuff.

I hear Adah say, "Jazmine you know about this stuff. What are we missing?" I feel my eyebrow rise, look up at her, see her smiling at me, and then hear Johnny say, "She's right Jazmine. You've always been into this stuff and I know you always give the right answer when Ms. Reed asks questions. What are we missing?" Before I can answer him I hear Cairo say, "What you mean always been into this stuff?" I look away, not wanting to talk to him if I can avoid it, and then hear Johnny say, "Well, I've known Jazmine since middle school and she's always known about all this stuff about races." I feel my eyes get big, look back at Johnny, see him looking over Adah's shoulder at her notes and I feel my smirk seeing Adah blushing and looking away. I guess she thinks Johnny's cute.

I see Adah look at me, see that blush, and feel my smile, seeing her look at me with that look telling me to not say anything about her thinking Johnny's cute. I nod and see her smile and exhale. Then I hear Johnny say, "So, what are we missing Jazmine?" I exhale, look down at that paper with those three lines written down and say, "There's two parts to it. The first one is the racialized incarceration part. It kind of means that incarceration, you know like the process of committing a crime, being tried, and punished for the crime by being sent to prison, is racialized. So, the process affects races differently. Like, over all other races the black community does get affected the most where they are more likely to get arrested, tried, and giving worse punishments, like longer time in prison or having to do more community service, which is really expensive for people that are usually working more than one job already." I exhale, thinking about those arguments I'm starting to remember Tom and mom having over how he didn't put in as much work helping a black defendant over a white one. I see Adah writing on that paper, see her white hand holding that pen as she writes, remembering she's Jewish but she looks white, and remember she was one of those girls in our elementary and middle school that was nice to me.

I exhale and say, looking at her write on that paper, "The second part is how that affects society. So." I exhale, remembering that afro telling me about that 'scared stiff' thing Riley and he were sent to, and say, "When people come out of prison, who are mostly black, they have to look for work, a place to live." I stop, thinking about Mr. Willis's place, inhale, and continue, "And just a way to be part of society again, like getting a job, but it's hard for them to find work, like Adah said." I see her stop writing, see her brown eyes look up at me, smile at me, and look back down at that paper. I continue, watching her write, "It's hard for them because of their record. And without a job how are they supposed to find a place to live? And some of those people have been in prison for a long time and don't have a credit or work history, you know all that stuff you need to get even an apartment." I exhale, feel my smile seeing Johnny looking over Adah's shoulder with his own blush, and continue, "So, it's like how a certain race, the black community, goes to prison more because of our racialized justice system, and then those people come out and find it hard to find work because of that record. That whole process affects society in every way, like those people not contributing to society by not being able to get a job, not being able to go to school because they can't get financial aid because of their record, and just their whole life. Like if they can't get a job and can't contribute to society by working, then they'll be poor and will have to live off the government, and then when they get older and get their retirement from the government that's all they have." I exhale, seeing her write, remembering those new bunk beds the shelter has, and say, "And those people, even at that age when they're getting their retirement, are sometimes homeless and have to use the address to a shelter just to get their retirement check because they have nowhere else to live. Luckily, some shelters are really nice and let them use their address. So, from the beginning those people that are now homeless were put in prison by laws, laws that don't make sense sometimes, like giving tickets to the homeless for sleeping on sidewalks when they have nowhere else to go, and a justice system where there's proof that judges give worse sentences to black people, like felonies instead of misdemeanors but don't do the same with other races, and then they come out of prison with that record, not being able to find work, a place to live, and then becoming a burden to the government and the community. Like how is a race, any race, supposed to come out of that?" I exhale, seeing Adah's hand writing across that page, halfway down the page now, and say, "That's what it is. Racialized incarceration and the way it affects society is that whole story." I wonder if that afro and our friends will ever see things be different.

I feel my smile seeing Johnny looking at Adah's brown hair now instead of the page and then hear, "That nigga tell you all that shit?" I inhale, close my eyes, look away from him, and wonder if Ms. Reed will let me go to the restroom for the last ten minutes of class. Then I hear Adah's voice say, "Actually, I don't think Jazmine heard that from anyone. I think she's always known about that stuff because of just who she is." I open my eyes, look up at her, see her smiling at me, see her look way with that smile gone, confusing me, and then I hear her say, more quietly, "I've known Jazmine since elementary and I remember seeing her and how much she you know, went through stuff, so I know she's into this kind of stuff because of that and just having a strong personality." I feel my mouth open, knowing I have known her for a long time, we just never got to hang out but she was always nice to me in class. I don't remember being close to her though so I don't know why she would say that. Then I hear Johnny say, "Yeah. I remember that stuff to." I look up at Johnny, feeling my eyebrow rise, see him giving me a sad look to, see him look away, and then I hear him say, "I remember middle school and it was bad. Kids there were just mean you know. Saying really dumb things." I inhale, remembering seeing him maybe once in the cafeteria in 6th grade when those kids were calling me those names. That's when it got really bad, 6th grade, because both girls and boys were bullying me by then. And, no one knew what was happening at school because we were in different middle schools that year. I was alone at school.

I hear Adah say, "Those girls shouldn't have said that stuff and I should've said something. I'm really sorry Jazmine." Elementary school, when it started, and I hated going to the restroom because that's where they would corner me, those mean girls, and call me those names. Huey and Riley were at that school to but the bullying happened in the girls' restroom so they never knew. My sister was in that school to but we weren't close yet. So, I was alone there to. I look back at Adah and see her giving me a small, sad smile. I feel my mouth open, still not knowing what to say, and hear Johnny say, "Yeah. I remember and I knew I wanted to say something but I never did. I'm sorry Jazmine." I look up at Jonny's brown eyes and see him looking at me and then look down at the table, almost ashamed. I feel like I've lost my voice or just don't know how to use words because I don't know what to say to them. And I know I thought about some of that stuff this last weekend, but I know it doesn't hurt anymore.

Then I hear Cairo's voice say, "The fuck they say to you?" I turn to him, see him looking at me that same way again but a little angry I think, then I hear Johnny say, "Not trying to bring it up Jazmine." I look back at him, see him giving me a small smile, and then he says, "And, even though I don't believe in it, I was kind okay with what Huey did that day." I feel my smile, hear an inhale to my left, knowing it's coming from him and don't want to look at him again, and then hear Adah say, "Yeah, I remember that day." I look over at her, see her smiling at me now, and she says, "I was there in the cafeteria. I remember not knowing who those boys you were sitting with were but knowing I didn't see them the year before." I feel my smile getting bigger remembering that first day in 7th grade, after mom dropped us all off at school, and we had all gone to our classes. I didn't know if I would see him until after school because I knew he didn't like being around a lot of people, especially kids our age, and was probably going to be in some class or rooftop, reading a book, during lunch. Then at lunch, knowing I had to eat, and hoping I could just get my food and go eat in the library or a classroom and read, I went to the cafeteria and found them, Huey and Riley, sitting at that table in the middle of the cafeteria, wondering why he was sitting there, surrounded by all those kids. I walked up to that table, saw those eyes look at me, and smiled at my bestie. That was Huey and Riley's first year at my middle school, after Grandad had moved them from their old middle because mom told Grandad she could drop them off at my middle school if he did switch them. Now that I think about it, I think mom knew what was happening and that's why she told Grandad to move them to my middle school. My sister moved to our middle school the next year. But, I remember that day. That lunch. I feel my smirk now, see Adah smiling and she says, "Yeah. I remember. That guy, I forgot his name." I exhale, look away and say, "Chase." I hear her say, "Yeah that guy Chase. He came up to your table and then I saw Huey get up and punch his stomach and his face." I feel my smile again, remembering what my bestie did.

I hear Cairo say, "The fuck that asshole say to you?" I feel my lips purse, not wanting to answer him, and then hear Johnny say, "He was just you know, racist." I inhale, remembering, and exhale, knowing I would punch him myself today. I hear Cairo say, "The fuck?" I roll my eyes, not wanting to talk to him, look back up at that clock and see it's almost time, and exhale. I hear him continue, "The fucker called you names cuz you were mix?" I exhale and hear Johnny say, "No. He was racist. And." I hear him stop, so I look back at Johnny, see him looking down at the desk again and he says, "I remember some of those names and he said them because Jazmine was part black, not because she was mix. He wasn't like that with people that were mix, just her. He was just, you know, racist against her because she was black." I feel my smile, knowing I actually like that part of me now. I hear Adah say, "Yeah. So that's how I know that because of that stuff, the stuff in elementary and then that stuff in middle school, where really dumb racist kids would say really dumb things to Jazmine, she got into the stuff she knows now, not because of anyone else." I look at Adah, see her smile at me, remember I have to get to know her more one day, feeling my smile on my face, and she says, "Even though it's kind of funny that some of the kids that called her that stuff kind of have a crush on her now." I feel my mouth open, see her laugh, and she says, "Yeah. Don't worry about it. They look but I don't think they'll ever try talking to you, probably afraid you'll remember it was them that were mean to you. And even more than that, I know they won't try anything." I see her stop, smirk at me, and she says, "Because of Huey." I laugh, closing my eyes, hear the bell ring, open my eyes, see everyone standing to leave and I exhale, ready to see that afro that punched Chase that day.

Then I hear someone say my name, look to my left, see Cairo looking at me, and hear him say, "You know I would've fucked up assholes like that to." I exhale, get up, turn my desk so it's facing the front of the class again, grab my notebook, bend down, put it in my 'jazzy' backpack, zip it up, and hear him say, "Just give my ass a chance Jazmine." I get up and see him standing next to his desk, blocking my way. I inhale, feel my lips purse, see his fade, how tall he really is, maybe taller than the one time I flipped him over, his earrings, the skin that's lighter than Huey's, and the dark brown eyes. I know girls think he's cute but I don't lie and I told Huey I only want him and he's way cuter. I exhale, turn around, hear him call my name, walk to the other end of the class, turn to my left and use the other door to walk out, ready to meet that afro that's been punching guys for me since 7th grade.

I want to kill him. Tomorrow. I will kill him tomorrow. I hear her say, "Bestie calm down please." I exhale, close my eyes, and put my face in that hair, wondering if I can kill him tonight. I hear that voice say, "Whatever is it you're thinking, it's not that bad, I promise, so just calm down okay." I exhale, put my chin back on that shoulder, and wonder if those gases up there are also laughing at my expense. I inhale, squeeze her, and feel her move further into my body, covered from the cold of November by my wool coat, having remembered to bring it knowing who Jazmine is and the fact she wouldn't remember to bring hers.

After five minutes of silence, under that coat, letting me smell those particles of her hair up here on this hill that remains untouched by the government, knowing it must be pass ten, based on getting home at eight from her volunteer service and my job, finishing homework almost an hour and a half later, and walking up here after she asked if we could, I say, "We should head back." Even though I don't necessarily want to, I trained yesterday and will be letting my body rest tonight so I don't have anything else to do after this other than reading more of Up From Slavery, and I'm not looking forward to trying to go to sleep thinking about those lips, I remember it is a school night, and we both need to rest and have responsibilities.

I exhale, pull back, and feel those warm hands grab my arms that are still around her. I say, "Jazmine, we should," but she cuts me off with, "I know bestie, I just wanted to tell you something before we go." I feel my eyebrow rise, knowing she already told me about that fucken moron I want to kill tomorrow solely on the fact that he asked her to give him a chance knowing she belongs to me. I exhale, wondering when I stopped caring how the world works because people do not belong to other people.

I hear that voice say, "I know we talked about it already, what happened today, you know with Johnny and Adah reminding me and what the jerk said but." I hear her stop, see that hair move down through that moonlight, hear her exhale, and hear her say, "I wanted to say thank you for doing that, that day. For defending me." I inhale, remembering, and then hear that voice say, "Why is your temperature rising bestie? It was a long time ago." I close my eyes, trying to calm down, not wanting to bring this up, not because of how angry it still makes me, but because I'm sure it still causes her some grief even if she doesn't acknowledge it. I feel those hands leave my arms, those shoulders move around, and know she's facing me now, between my legs, under this coat that's keeping the cold night air from our bodies.

I open my eyes and see that moonlight coming through that thick hair I was smelling again, remembering how much I wanted to do that whenever I would see it down and loose like she wears it more often now. I can also see those greens now because of the position of the moon during this time of the year, reminding me of that first time she 'helped me', and I inhale, trying to relax.

I hear that voice say, "It was a long time ago Huey. And I'm just happy you were there and punched that jerk. I know you don't know about the other stuff but." I hear her stop and I exhale, knowing she doesn't know, and hear her say, "But he wasn't the only one that was saying those really horrible things. But because of what you did that day, they all stopped." I exhale, put my hands on those hips, hear her swallow, remembering what she said in her mother's dining room that first day she became my girlfriend, and I say, "I knew."

I hear her swallow, see that face turn to the left, letting me see those freckles illuminated by that moonlight, and she says, "Knew what bestie?" I exhale, feeling those hips in my hands, and say, "I knew what they were saying." I see that face turn back, see those eyes wide, see them look down and away, and I hear her say, "What?"

I exhale and say, "I knew before that day." I see that face look up at me again, see that worried look, and I say, "That summer Grandad gave us, well he gave me, the option to start going to your middle school." I see her lick her lips, I exhale, and continue, "I did some research, wanting to find out about the statistics, number of students, teacher to student ratio, campus size, and of course if it was really just as close as our middle school was to our house like your mother had said it was." I inhale, looking back down at those lips, those lips those fucken morons called ugly and I want to bite right now, and I say, "I also found accounts from certain students at that school through Facebook and read some of their comments to each other." I see her close her mouth and I answer, "Yes." I see her exhale and hear her say, "So, if you knew, you knew the kinds of kids that went there, why did you go?" I exhale, knowing she's thinking about my comfort instead of her own, my exposure to racism instead of her own exposure to it, wondering why I would move to a school that had students that would openly comment on Facebook about a black student at their school or how a girl's lips were too big for her face and she resembled an animal found in Africa more than an actual girl, why, if I had the choice as Grandad gave me, I would not rather stay at the middle school we were enrolled where kids didn't make those openly racist comments, and I say, "Because my best friend, even if I never acknowledged it, was there and those imbeciles spewing lies about her were there and I needed to be there." Even after that day, I was still somewhat of that heartless kid, but I still made sure to be at the same table every day for lunch so she could find me there and would never be alone at that fucken school.

I see that smile and hear her say, "So you moved to my middle school, even after you knew kids there were jerks and racist, just to defend me and not just because my mom told Grandad she would give you and Riley rides with me?" I exhale, feeling my eyebrow rise, and say, "Only in your Jazmine head."

I see that face move in, taste the strawberry lip balm she said she uses, feel that warm hand over my pants, and I pull away and say, "Jazmine." I see that smile and hear her say, "And I want to help you, so let me." I exhale, trying to relax and say, "Jazmine, we're out," but she cuts me off with, "Yes, we're outside, on our hill, on top of blankets I made you bring, and I know it's cold, but this jacket is big enough it's covering both of us and as selfish as it sounds, I want to taste you again."

I close my eyes, knowing what I want but knowing we are outside and it is late so there's little chance of passerby's, especially up here, but it's still her. I open my eyes, see that smile, feel her hand over me again, and feel myself already getting hard, thinking about what she wants to do. I also remember I've scouted this hill hundreds of times, now it is safe from the government, people, and remember seeing that afro pulled back lowering herself over me, and know I'm hard, right now. I see her swallow, reminding me of that place I still need to kiss, and I scoot back, bringing those hips with me, lean back on that sturdy trunk, remembering this is where we met, feel her come in closer between my legs, see that face come in, stop an inch away from me again, reminding me of that night in Chicago I had my hands on those thighs, feel myself twitch, and exhale trying to relax. I feel both those warm hands on my pants, inhale, looking at those forest green eyes in that darker variation she doesn't know she has, feel her unbutton the first button on my jeans, and I move in.

I taste the lip balm again, squeeze those hips, feel her unbutton the second button, bite that lower lip I punched that fucken moron for saying were too big, feel her unbutton the third one, taste that tongue I should've tasted in the morning before I left back home to take down those damn pictures, feel her unbutton the fourth one, bring my hands back to that ass that does belong to me, feel her shiver, feel that small warm palm on the head of my penis, and groan, not caring how loud because we're up here on this hill and there is no god and it is only us.

I feel my smirk, watching that bun, knowing she has it because she woke up late because we stayed out late last night. It's an odd feeling, thinking about it, and feeling, relaxed. What she did last night, what she calls 'tasting me', is all that happened last night, and I feel, relaxed.

I see those greens look over here, see that tint from here because it's covering her entire face, and feel my smirk turning into that thing she likes.

Then, I hear my brother say, "Shit McHater. You know she like ma lil sis man. Least wait till we're outta school." I look over at my brother, see him looking at me with that smirk that reminds me we are brothers and he's an idiot, feel my face drop, and I look back down at my Message To The Blackman book, hearing them all cackle. I remember seeing this book in my locker this morning and putting it in my backpack before we went to homeroom, knowing I would want to read it during lunch. I exhale. I don't lie to myself. It's because of last night, on that hill where it was only us, that I wanted to continue reading this book.

I exhale and shake my head hearing their cackling continue, finding where I stopped reading, trying to understand if I do not believe in god because of what I have seen and researched then why did I say it again last night on that hill, like I did two days ago.

I hear Caesar say, "Man, I'm just happy for your ass." I bring my book down, see him looking at me, and he says, "Yeah, I agree with Riley on you looking different. And, you seem alright, you know, better than alright." I feel my eyebrow rise, see him smirk at me, and he says, "Hu. Remember man. Since we were five. And I can see you seem not only better, but kinda happy and shit." I exhale, knowing he has known me for a long time. I see him inhale, look back at the girls at the front of the line, which I've notice they do several times a week more than likely to talk amongst themselves, and he says, "And thanks man." For the help. Only needed access to the school database to find out where she lives, along with those two other idiots, just in case she's sleeping over at their places, and I already knew where that girl Miranda lived from that party we went to. The difficult part was getting access to the school's database but once that was done, the rest was fairly unproblematic. I was able to access all of that information, all of their phone numbers, and block them all. And through my connections to wireless carriers I was able to block any incoming calls from those locations to his phone number. She would have to leave late at night when she's been making those phone calls and sending those messages from her house or wherever she's sleeping to a location I am not aware of, get access to another cell phone, since payphones are rare to nonexistent, and call him from there. I exhale. It's not impossible for her but it would require work. But at least for now, things have been settled. And, it only took an hour after he called last night, apparently tired after the fifth call from blocked phone numbers and several pictures.

I respond, "You welcome," look back down at my book, and continue to read, hearing those three talking about another one of their bets, this time possibly having to do with Super Nintendo, and wonder if I should be worried, feeling as relaxed as I am, looking forward to having that hand in my hair this Saturday.

I ask, "So, he took care of it?" I see Ming put her long dark hair behind her ear, smile, and she says, "Yeah. Told me this morning he found a way to block her ass. Don't know how. But." I see her stop, smirk at me, feel my eyebrow rise, and she says, "I think your afro helped my dreads with blocking that hoe." I feel my smile, turn to that table, and see that afro behind that book on the teachings of Islam. I don't know a lot about those teachings but maybe one day I will. I see those soft reds, almost burgundy, look up from that book and look at me, feeling my mouth open, not being to speak, just like this morning when I saw him at my door. I couldn't speak. So, I just kissed his cheek, hugged him, and he let me. I didn't think about it, just couldn't say anything when I saw him standing there on my front porch, in that sweater that reminds me of Chicago. I just kept thinking about how that felt last night, on our hill, where I saw that afro that first time so long ago, swaying in early spring wind. Last night. My hand around that warm cock with that coating, stroking him, kissing those soft lips, feeling that hole again under my thumb, making circles around it, just as slowly as we were kissing, hearing him say my name in that way, and tasting him again, swearing I heard him say that again when I did it. Tasting him. On our hill. Under that big, thick, oak tree, with the moonlight. I feel my whole face heat up seeing those light burgundy eyes looking at me, making me want to run to the restroom because we're in the cafeteria.

Then, I smell that coconut lotion I love so much, on my shoulder, look back down at her, and smile at how cute she's being. I feel my smile get bigger knowing they're also getting close. I know they've also been getting close since that day mom showed us those pictures and told us to not be scared of guy's body parts. My little sister and Riley are getting close and she's happy. That's why she's being this cute. My little sister's happy. I turn to her, kiss her head, and hear her say, "Hoe at eleven girls."

I look up to my left, where the number eleven would be on a clock, and see her. I exhale, smell that vanilla lotion to my right on my friend, and wait for that voice to see what she wants now.

She gets to us and I can see she looks angry, making me smirk for some reason, see her getting madder, and she says, "How the hell you got those pictures off Facebook? And why did they cancel my account when I tried reposting them?" I can't help it. She's doing that thing with her face again. I close my eyes, start laughing, and hear my lovable sister say, "Look hoe." I open my eyes, look over at my sister, see her smirking and she says, "You know wa hoe. I on't even care." I snicker, hearing my little sister doing it to, and hear Ming say, "The fuck you even care hoe? We were in those fucken pictures and we don't want them online." I hear Lauren say, "And anyways, I'm sure you took a lot of pictures in that half-costume you were wearing so why do you even care about the ones we were in?" I see Ashley inhale, exhale, and look away. Then, she looks back at me, squinting her eyes.

I exhale and say, "Don't come near us again or I will slap you again Ashley." I see her exhale, inhale, look away, and says quieter, I think shocking all of us, "You already took Huey. And I saw what you were wearing that night. It was just as bad as mine and he wouldn't stop looking at you. I just wanted Cairo to see you for what you are."

I exhale and say, "Ashley." I see her look back at me, see her exhale, and wonder why I was ever jealous of her. She's just so lonely. And, I was just reminded about how lonely I was when I was in elementary and even middle school. I say, "I don't care what you or he thinks about me. You can even call me whatever you want because at the end of it I know my sister, my friends, and Huey will never believe you and that's who matters." I hear my sister inhale and say, "And why the fuck you keep blaming ma sis about whatever the fuck happens between you and that asshole when she been with ma bro since last fucken year hoe." I see Ashley exhale, still looking at me, and then hear Ming say, "Yeah. I mean you ain't that fucken stupid. Our Jazzy never even fucken goes over there or talks to that dick and you're the one that's fucking starting stupid ass rumors when she don't ever say shit about you." I see Ashley look away, almost guilty, and then I hear Lauren's voice to my right say, "I mean what is wrong with you Ashley? I mean you could have someone else at this school if he doesn't wanna be with you. I mean you are pretty even if you do act like a sata." I hear the snickers, see Ashley exhale, still looking away from us, and hear her say, even quieter, "It's not just him. You all have them. And all the other guys at our school are just players, all of them."

I exhale, remembering that day she said I had a fat ass, the day she offered herself to Huey telling him he would get bored of waiting for me, a month ago when she looked at Huey that way and I almost lunged myself at her, and then checked out all my friends who have girlfriends. But I know she does some of those things, maybe most of them, because her mom shows her it's okay. And, my sister doesn't lie. Mr. Leon and Ashley's mom were caught again in the school together. I don't know if they got in trouble with the principal but someone did catch them and it spread through the school staff because they gossip even more than the students. And my sister, who has more friends at this school now than anyone else I know because she can make anyone smile, found out.

But looking at Ashley, in that short skirt again and that small t-shirt I realize she's just lost. And I think it's her mom's fault, maybe her family's fault. But then I exhale and remember something else that's just as important. Ashley could change. She could. She doesn't have to be like her mom. I'm not like Tom. My sister is not like those people she used to live with. Huey and Riley are not like that family. We decided who we were gonna be and that's who we are. But Ashley wants to be like this. If she didn't, she would stop doing these things. She could date a nice guy like Lena. Lena. Lena is dating Phil. And Phil told me about Ashley and her friends. And, I believe Phil. I don't know for sure but there's a really good chance he tried talking to Ashley and she turned him down, a nice guy like Phil. And, I'm sure with how pretty she really is there has been more than one nice guy that tried talking to her, but still, she wants to date a guy like Cairo. Cairo. He sits next to her at lunch and then tells me to give him a chance during 5th period. I exhale. And she wants to date him. And she's had opportunities to date guys like Phil, but she wants to date guys like Cairo.

So maybe this is just who she is because she wants to be lost. She wants to be mean to people, blaming them when she doesn't get her way. So, I have to stop comparing her to me, how lonely I was in middle school, or my friends and their families, because Ashley's just a mean girl that's had opportunities to change and she doesn't. She doesn't want to. I'll have to make sure to go one of Phil's games and root for him next to Lena.

I exhale and say, "You're wrong." I see her blue eyes look back at me, surprised. I don't think that was the answer she was looking for. I think she wanted me to feel sorry for her so maybe she could have the opportunity to hurt me again in some way. I say, "Not all guys at this school are players. Some are nice. And I know for sure some of those nice guys have tried dating you but you didn't wanna date them. You wanna date someone like that jerk." I see her inhale, exhale, and know she's mad because I caught her. I see her scrunch her nose and she says, even quieter, "I don't know what they see in you, in any of you. You're plain, all of you." I hear that inhale to my left, and grab her hand, knowing she's trying to stay calm because she has a game she's looking forward to that's coming up soon and doesn't want to get kicked off the team even more right now. None of them want to get in a fight because that game is more important than this girl.

Then I remember something my friend said, a friend that sounds like my little sister, and smells like lavender lotion, and I say, not taking my eyes off this girl that won't leave us alone, "Mimi, you remember what you left back in Ohio?" I see Ashley's forehead scrunch, I'm sure confused. And I know, being as popular as she is, she doesn't like being ignored. I hear my friend say, "Yeah Jazzy I do." I say, "Okay."

I let go of my sister's hand, step back, seeing Ashley's eyes getting big, turn back to that table where I see that afro and all the guys looking at us, feel my smirk, knowing they either wanted us to handle it or they didn't want to hear this girl's voice, and I start walking towards that afro. I hear that voice behind me say, "I'm not done with you! All of you! Don't you walk away from me!"

I feel my little sister's warmth and smell her coconut lotion to my left, feel and smell that warm vanilla lotion to my right and now that lavender warmth is next to my sister now.

As we get to the table I see Hiro stand, looking at that pretty girl to my right he will beat up a really disrespectful guy for. I slide in, grab that sandwich that doesn't have those jalapenos, and take a bite, smiling as all my friends sit down. I feel that warm hand on my leg and wonder if he knows he does that every day now.

Then I hear that voice that makes us all laugh say, "Bet ya'll believe ma ass now that shit over twenty-five." I laugh, hearing my friends all laughing, put my head on that broad shoulder, turn to that book to see how far along he is with it, and inhale, feeling him turn, and put that book on the table, opened to the first page so we can read it together. We've never done this at school, reading the same book, like a couple would, out in the open in the cafeteria, with that warm hand on my leg. And I know Huey. I know him through and through. He thinks he's not affectionate, but he is. He thinks he's not warm, but he is. And, he's opposed to public affection, which I'm okay with because I like keeping that stuff between us on the couch when no one is home, or on our hill, or in his room, or in Janitor's room B3. But he's been doing this for a while now, holding my hand in public, letting me kiss his cheek in public, holding my waist in public, and now reading together from the same book, side by side, with that warm hand on my leg, in public.

I wonder if he knows he's doing more than trying now. I'm so happy. And, I can't wait for this weekend.

Hi Ya'll.

I'm tired LOL.

Hope to read comments on any of it: costumes, parties, anime, cartoons, racialized incarceration, any of it.

I had so much fun writing this one LOL.

Thank you all for allowing me to do this.

Bulma's Ego.