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Chapter Thirty:
Reid felt her breath on his neck and tried not to panic. Mira Sage held one hand and had her other hand on his hip.
"Relax, Dr. Reid," she said. "Alexa, play waltz number three."
Sage had long curly brown hair tied up in a ponytail. Slightly older than him, she had the figure of a ballerina.
They attempted to glide across the floor.
"Don't look at your feet," she said. "Focus on your posture."
Reid never felt more uncoordinated. It felt too weird being so close to anyone. His steps were wooden and his count was off. He was truly terrible.
"Alexa, pause," Sage said and let go of him.
Reid breathed a sigh of relief.
"What are you afraid of Dr. Reid?" she asked.
"Touch," he said. "It feels like I'm on fire when you touch me."
"When's the last time you felt comfortable being touched?" she asked.
"I can't remember," he said.
"I thought you remembered everything."
"It is just so hard," he said. "Every touch led to abuse eventually. It all feels so wrong. Even hugs from my friends feel okay, but then they don't after a while. What is wrong with me?"
"You have suffered through a lot in over three years Dr. Reid. I am sure other therapists have told you what you're feeling is perfectly normal. I'm here to break you out of that shell. By any means necessary."
Sage walked to the center of the dance studio.
"Alexa, play Happy by Pharel Williams."
She started clapping and shaking her hips. Sage hopped to the beat.
"Dance with me," she said.
"How?" he asked.
"Just move Dr. Reid," she said. "Breathe and move."
He began to sway slightly as Sage spun. Reid stomped his feet to the rhythm and clapped.
"Okay," she said. "Alexa, stop."
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm not into this."
"Don't worry about it. Sit down lotus style and close your eyes. Have you seen Frozen II?"
"No," he said as he sat down.
"Alex a play The Next Right thing."
Reid never imagined a kid song would begin with: "Hello darkness, I'm ready to succumb." The song spoke to him on so many levels for a movie about princesses. His whole journey so far had been about focusing on trying take everything one step at a time towards a brighter future. There were tears in his eyes at the end.
He looked at Sage. She offered her hand.
"Are you ready to try again?"
He nodded and took her hand.
"Alexa, play waltz number four," she said.
He was still wooden and couldn't stay on beat. But Sage was patient with him. He let her adjust his posture, even when it unnerved him. It was all about breaking everything down to the next moment.
Sage smiled at the end.
"You're getting there," she said.
…
"I just don't see the appeal of it," Iris said as they hung out in the rec room. "So, it's a different person playing the same character when the actor gets tired of playing the role. And all the episodes end the same: The Doctor used her magic wand, excuse me sonic screwdriver, to reverse the polarity while a companion flips a switch and everything goes boom with no real damage except to the bad guy. Then they go off on a more interesting adventure that isn't shown."
"That is a gross oversimplification of the show," he said.
"What don't you like about Pretty Little Liars?" she asked.
"The cops would have caught the A group long before they started tormenting the girls. And how many secret evil twins are there be among one population?"
"You just don't like shows without tentacles and face putty," Iris said.
"You just don't like shows that extend beyond the realm of possibility," Reid said.
They both sighed and sat back on the couch.
"God we both had a couple sucky weeks," she said. "Anna Duvall nearly sent me off the roof and almost offed your girlfriend."
"I keep telling myself things will get better," Reid said. "I talked with Gwen over the phone a couple days ago and she sounds fine."
"At least the bitch was denied bail," Iris said. "I wouldn't put it past her to pay another guy to use a drone with a telephoto lens to get pictures of me."
"They're going to allow me to start reading parts of the newspaper," he said. "I've missed that."
"You'll have that done in three seconds."
"Thirty actually, or thirty-two depending on the size of the paper," Reid said.
"Have you heard of Crisis on Infinite Earths?"
"Of course," Reid said. "It is a famous landmark DC series of comics that merged all the worlds together so that characters like the Two-Face wouldn't be battling Batman in one comic but then be an ally to Superman in another comic. It cut down on the confusion."
"They did something like that on a TV series. It made me wonder about the idea of whether there is another version of me that got to live a normal life somewhere out in the universe."
"The thing is Iris, what we know about the universe is so minute in scale compared to what we don't know. So, anything is possible."
"Do you wonder what would have happened if you hadn't done certain things, then maybe you wouldn't have ended up here?"
"Before I abducted for the first time, I saw victims from a distance as just a part of the puzzle. They were just names and numbers to me. After I became a victim, they became people. I saw myself in each of them. It made me a better agent. I also was able to confronts parts of my past I wasn't comfortable with such as when I was bullied when I was younger. I am a better person now Iris."
"Do you really believe that 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' crap?"
"We survived the impossible Iris. It shouldn't have happened to us, but anger impedes progress. I don't think we're stronger, so much as people with a fresh perspective of the treasure that is life."
"You know you really have improved a lot over the past couple months," she said.
The intercom crackled.
"Dr. Reid, please come to the visitor's room now please."
Reid stood up.
"Come on," he said. "You're family to me now Iris."
"Really?" she said.
"Some one's waiting for me," he said. "Let's see who."
Iris stood up and walked with Reid to the visitor's room.
Alvez was there with Lisa, who was holding a newborn baby.
"This is Juan Reid Alvez," Alvez said.
Reid felt overwhelmed.
"You didn't have to name your kid after me!" he said.
"Red is also my favorite color," Lisa said. "Reid is an old spelling of Red, so I like it too."
Reid turned to Iris.
"Guys, this is Iris," he said. "A friend of mine."
"Nice to meet you Iris," Lisa said.
"Same," Iris said.
"Would you like to hold him?" Lisa asked Reid.
"Can I?" he said nervously as he looked to therapist in the corner. He nodded and smiled.
Reid held the child. He was so small and so precious. Juan looked at Reid curiously. It felt good to hold something so unblemished by the world.
"Can Iris hold him?" he asked.
"Sure," Alvez said.
Iris looked nervous.
"Just remember to hold secure the head," Reid said as he handed him to her.
"I can't remember the last time I held a baby," she said. "He's beautiful."
"Thank you," Lisa said.
"Noel, Noel/Noel, Noel/" Iris sang. "The First Noel, the Angels did say/Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay/In fields where they lay keeping their sheep/On a cold winter's night that was so deep/Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel/Born is the King of Israel!"
Everyone in the was stunned by the beauty of her singing voice. There were tears in Iris's eyes.
"I swore I'd never sing again after what they did to me," she said. "But, but, I just needed to show this child my gift."
Juan was peacefully sleeping. Alvez took him back.
"Thank you," Alvez said. "Reid is lucky to have you as a friend."
She wiped away the tears and looked to Reid.
"It goes both ways," she said.
"Absolutely," Reid said.