p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I was relieved to find that I was back in LaPush when I woke. For a time, I wished that it had all been just a very vivid dream- but I knew that dreams could never contain everything I had gone through. I sat up in Jacob's huge, white double bed to find him sitting near my toes. His fists were clenched and his teeth were gritted. I knew that he had realized I was awake so I crawled over to him and wrapped my arms around his torso./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I love you," I whispered gently, trying to calm whatever was bothering him. He turned around on the bed to face me. His eyes were knowing, more knowing than mine. It immediately made me wonder what had happened that I had missed while I was unconscious. He relaxed his jaw a fraction so that he could talk./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You're alive." He almost smiled. I still waited for the four words that he hadn't yet said. emI love you too./em The words were like a reflex for him, whatever happened, it was enough to throw his reflexes off. My eyebrows knit together in worry, I was really concerned now./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""What happened?" I asked yet another question that I didn't want to know the answer to. Jake didn't reply to me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Jacob you need to tell me what happened, the pack is emmy /emfamily too." He took a deep breath and I immediately knew what Jake was leading up to when he spoke the first sentence./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Carlisle did everything he could." Jacob turned away from me, trying to hide the depression in his eyes. I knew what he was going to say already, I bit my lip in preparation. "He couldn't save him." Jacob knew that I understood who he was talking about./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""What does that mean for us?" I asked, calm as ever. I knew that the tears were there- they just didn't want to come out yet. I was almost afraid of them- for I had no idea when I was going to explode./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""The council decided that I…should be the…new alpha." He didn't sound happy about it at all./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"There was a pause, I attempted to change the subject away from the alpha, "Will there be a funeral for them?" I asked solemnly. He nodded./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""When?" I persisted./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Some time today…" he drifted./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Today?" I doubted, "Don't you think that's a little short notice?"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You've been out for more than one day." He replied simply./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I could tell that I wasn't going to get a decent answer out of him so I stopped talking for a moment. "…You hungry?" I asked knowing that food always lightened his mood./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Not really, no."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I could feel his desperation hanging limply in the mood; I didn't want to be around it anymore so I made a lame excuse to getaway./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I'm going to go find out when the funeral is, Sam will probably…" I stopped, realizing what I had just said. There was no Sam. Sam was gone. I looked around the room embarrassed as if someone would speak up to correct me but no one did./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I rushed myself out of the house, hoping to shake off Jacob's depressing mood as I went. Quickly, I hurried into the forest and stripped, morphing into my white wolf self without any problem now that the poison had been extracted from my system./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I could sense a few people sharing minds with me- all of them were arguing in a flurry of thoughts and words. It was nearly impossible to make out one voice from another./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emWhat's going on?/em I practically had to shout the words to make myself heard. All of the arguing immediately ceased./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emH-hey Bella…/emI heard Jared murmur quietly. Curiously, I felt the minds around me, sensing Jared, Quil, Seth, and Brady. I could feel Jared's sadness, which was lined with guilt. After feeling the mood, I realized that everyone's thoughts were stitched with guilty feelings./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emWhat were you talking about? /emI asked slowly, knowing that they couldn't lie to me even if they wanted to- our minds were connected. Rapidly, I saw the images of Jacob, Sam and me flashing though everyone's thoughts. I could feel their insecurity and outrage at the choice of their new alpha. Jared and Brady were against the decision while Quil and Seth were all for it./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emWhy are you here? /emBrady thought callously as if I had no right to morph into my wolf self./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emShut up you idiot, /emQuil snapped at the newest wolf, emBella's a part of the pack too. She has as much right to be here as you do!/em/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Brady became very quiet, bitten by the words of his friend./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emActually, I /emdo emhave a reason for coming to you guys. /emI thought as if Brady had never interrupted me. The whole pack immediately knew what I wanted thanks to our brain-link./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emThe funeral is in three hours. /emSeth whispered gently. He paused for a moment and I could see the faint image of a rusty car. emI could pick you up at Jake's if you want, we could ride here together if you want./em/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Seth's words were incased with pure silence. No one said anything- no one even thought anything- I knew that Seth knew what my answer was. Yes. I didn't want to be around these people, all of them were too sad and depressed for my liking. It's not as if they were feeling miserable without reason though; their leader, their alpha, had died. I was sad about it too but I knew that being around other sad people would not lift my mood in the least. I wanted to be around people that were happy, maybe then I would be happy too./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I knew it was no use hoping, however, so I bluntly announced to the pack that I was morphing back to human and relaxed all of my muscles until I could feel myself shrinking down to size. What was I going to do for three hours? It's not as if I was looking forward to the funeral, there would only be more crying, more depression, and more misery than there was here. I was not planning on testifying for any of the lost wolves but I felt as if I should still go. These three had given their lives to save me; the least I could do was come to their funeral and say my goodbyes./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Quickly, I pulled myself into my clothes before the frost could bite my bare skin. As a wolf, I was naturally warm but I wasn't planning on standing outside undressed for any length of time. I closed my eyes, a headache beginning to develop. I wasn't sure where to go now- I didn't want to go back to Jake's house, there was just as much despair in his mood as there was in the packs. I crouched down near the ground, rubbing my temples in a failed attempt to force my headache away. The snow immediately melted where I touched it and was replaced with water./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I groaned in aggravation, almost wanting to curl up on the ground, go to sleep and wake up when this was all over. I knew, however, that the pack would be forever wounded at the loss of their comrades. Everything we had done, we did because we loved each other. Sam, Embry, and Leah gave their lives to protect us. They paid the ultimate price for their love- but the course of love never did run smooth. I stood back up, ignoring my headache, and began to walk without a particular destination. I didn't know where my feet were taking me until I was there./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I stopped about ten yards away from the Cullen's mansion. I wasn't sure what it was about the familiar domain but it seemed to slightly calm my nerves. I hadn't been to the house for nearly four months when I had come to talk to Edward about 'us'. I hadn't been eminside/em since the incident on my birthday last year. Involuntarily, I walked up to the house and lightly tapped on the front door, almost hoping that if there was anyone inside, they couldn't hear me so I could walk away and pretend that they weren't at home. But I knew that they were there, I could smell the tantalizingly fresh scent of vampire. At this point in time, I had learned to control my urge to kill any vampire in my scent range./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"The door opened cautiously and I recognized Esme's petite form. After seeing me, she opened the door wider and gave me a heart-warming smile as if no time had passed since my eighteenth birthday and today./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Bella!" she greeted happily, "what a pleasant surprise! We certainly weren't expecting you after…what happened." Her voice hit a sour note but recovered quickly. "What brings you here?"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I sighed, unable to tell her exactly why I had come here- I wasn't completely sure myself. Esme continued to stand in the doorway, patiently awaiting an answer. I took a deep breath, unsure of what I was going to say./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""She's stressed…" I heard Jasper's calm voice descending the staircase as he read my emotions like an open book. "She's feeling sad…but…doesn't want to be around people who are sad too." There was a pause and he squinted his eyes slightly, taking his place next to Esme. "She needs…" he attempted reading even deeper, "reassurance and someone…cheerful to take her mind off of things." Jasper finished, looking thoroughly pleased with his ability./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I felt no more need to explain myself. I was about to turn and leave, thinking it was stupid to ask the Cullens for help after all that they had already done for me, but Esme had a different opinion. Open-heartedly she wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into the warm house with her./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I looked around the house that I hadn't seen in ages. It looked almost exactly the same as when I first saw it with only one major difference. The huge, grand piano that had once sat serenely on the raised platform near the back of the room had seemingly disappeared. I wasn't sure if I was surprised or not seeing that Edward had been the only one in the family to set his fingers on the ivory keys. I knew better than to ask about it./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Oh, honey." Esme soothed, gently setting me down on a fancy couch. "Everything is going to be just fine, trust me. Everyone in this family knows what it's like to lose people that we're close to. You just need to take your mind off of things as Jasper said. In fact, I know just the person to help you with that." She grinned happily. "Alice." She spoke her name as if she was talking to someone who was sitting right next to her./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Immediately the black-haired girl's cold arms were wrapped around me in an open hug. "So this is why this afternoon's whole future was wiped out." She giggled, and then came back to the subject at hand. "Do you know what always takes my mind off of things?" she asked smiling gleefully./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""What?" I groaned. I had known Alice long enough to know what her remedy to all problems was./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Shopping!" she squealed, pulling me up off the couch by my arm. I tried to draw my hand away but her iron grip held me fast./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""No thanks, Alice." I protested sternly, "I'm emreally /emnot in the mood for a shopping spree right now."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"She pouted and looked over my shoulder at her foster mom, "Esme!" she whined. "Tell Bella to come with me!" I swiveled my head around to look at the motherly vampire who was smiling apologetically at me. "I think you should go, Bella." She encouraged. "I know that you've never really been into that kind of thing but I'd give it a try if I were you."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Fine." I reluctantly agreed, "But I have to be back at Jake's house in emtwo and a half hours/em." Alice, whom I didn't realize was even listening to my protest, asked: "Why?"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Seth's picking me up to go to the…funeral." I gritted my teeth slightly."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Well if you're actually going then you'll need something to wear right?" Alice smiled slyly. I imagined what she would have in mind for me to wear to a funeral. I shuddered, looking at the mental picture of myself wearing a floor-length, poofy black gown with a lacey veil and high-high heeled black shoes./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Alice tugged on my arm, "Come on!" she urged impatiently, pulling me into the eight-car garage. Everything seemed to be in its place- there was a different car for everyone in the Cullen family. There was only one thing that was obviously missing. I looked through the cars one by one and noticed the absence of a shiny silver Volvo. Again, I knew better than to ask about it./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Alice pushed me over to a glorious bright yellow Porsche. I stared at it in awe. "Do you like it? I just got it a few weeks ago." Alice giggled gazing fondly at the car. I could only nod. After spending so much time with Jacob I had learned to appreciate cars much more than I used to./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Well get in it then! I bought the car so that I could drive it, not just goggle at it."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I opened the passenger door and sat down on the cool leather seating, like Carlisle's car, the windows were tinted. Alice was already backing out of the driveway before I could close the door. The speedometer hit sixty before we were on the highway./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Where are we going?" I asked begrudgingly, remembering that I was shopping for a funeral./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Port Angeles. They've got the best dresses there." Alice squeaked excitedly. I groaned in protest, reminding her that shopping wasn't very high on my 'things I like to do' list./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""It's emfine/em Bella! You'll have fun!" She promised./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Seth knocked on the door of Jake's house twenty minutes to three. I had just finished zipping up the outfit that Alice had bought me. It was a silky black dress that dropped down to my shins and was ruffled along the end. The dress flowed freely and gracefully when I walked in it. I was surprised to realize that I was quite fond of it. My shoes were three-inch heels and a neat, shiny black. It had taken a lot of steering on my part to rein in Alice- but the outfit had defiantly turned out great./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Frustratingly, after she had bought my dress and insisted on paying for the entire thing, Alice forced me into a hair salon saying that it was only fair for her. I disagreed but didn't have enough energy to resist her. Now my hair was elegantly curled and spun up into a neat bun./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Come in!" I called Seth, smoothing out all the wrinkles in my dress. I heard the front door open and close as Seth walked into the family room to find me looking at my reflection through in black TV. He wolf-whistled at me, taking in what I was wearing. I blushed and smiled when I saw the way he was looking at me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You look…really nice, Bella." He chuckled, "So are you ready to go or do you need to go get a manicure or whatever?" For a moment I thought I saw him smile but when I looked again his face was recomposed in that dull, sad expression./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Yeah." I murmured my smile fading. His depression was catching on me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He waited for a moment as if he was expecting me to say something, finally realizing I didn't know what to say next he asked, "Is Jake ready?" his voice was quiet./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I'm not sure…let me see." I motioned for him to sit on the couch as I poked my head into Jake's room to see if he was there. He was. He sat on the bed in the same position I left him in, his hands were folded tightly and his face was contorted. It was clear that he had moved, however, because he was wearing different clothes than hi was this morning. He had on some black slacks and a loose-fitting white oxford that was done up nicely with a black tie./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You ready to go? Seth's here." I asked gently, taking my place next to him on the bed. He didn't answer me for a moment and I was almost afraid that he didn't hear me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Ready as I'll ever be." He sighed, "Let's go."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Seth led us to his junked up, rust-covered Mercury that his parents bought him when he earned his driver's license. After riding in Alice's Porsche this afternoon, Seth's car looked pretty under rate- he seemed to be fond of it though. Seth tried to catch the driver's seat but Jake had already slid inside./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""It's my car!" Seth complained, "Let me drive!"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I'm a more experienced driver and I already know where to go." Jake countered./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Fine," Seth muttered, opening the passenger door mumbling objections under his breath./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Hey, Seth? Can you sit back here with me please?" I whispered knowing he could hear me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He looked at me funny for a moment. "Why?"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Bella's still afraid of being alone." Jacob jeered lightly; his mood had completely changed since being inside of the house./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Alright then." Seth smiled. I opened the door closest to me for him to come through but he was already crawling into the back from the passenger seat. I shut the car door and the frame shuddered in a shower of rust flakes./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I weakly rested my head on Seth's shoulder, nearly falling asleep in contact with him. After being in a forced state of sleep for over forty-eight hours you'd think that I would be wide awake./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You're tired?" Seth speculated, poking my cheek. "I sighed and nodded into him hoping that sleep would find me soon, but the carried wasn't as long as I had anticipated- it was short, only about five to ten minutes long./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"As a matter of fact, once we arrived and I looked around the site, I realized that emnothing/em was what I had anticipated. Every time I thought of a funeral I would think of a dark, cloudy day with drizzling rain. There would be a crowd of people, all of them carrying matching black umbrellas, all huddling together in a cemetery, circling a tall gray tombstone. This wasn't anything like I had imagined./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"It was full-fledge raining outside of the small car; it was almost like the earth was mourning with the rest of us. It almost seemed cheesy- how in all sad movies and books whenever something bad happened it would begin to rain. We were, however, living in the rainiest area in the country so the downpour wasn't much of a surprise. We weren't anywhere near a cemetery either- we were just outside the woods in a small clearing. There were two short rows of plastic chairs, in front of which there were three large holes in the soggy ground. Each one was partially filled with a lumpy mass of fur and blankets./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"How honorable./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"The chairs all held familiar faces, everyone seemed unaware that it was even raining. The rest of the pack had already arrived; their sad, mournful expressions immediately extinguished my mood and were burned into my memory. Emily, Sam's fiancée who stood feebly next to the huge forms of the pack boys, had her skinny, tan arms wrapped around Jared and was sobbing into his already soaked t-shirt./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Embry's mom had her hands cupped against her face, bawling into them; she didn't even know that her son was a werewolf and was told that a bear had mauled him and his friends who had just gone out for a hike in the woods. A bear attack required no evidence except for the dead bodies, unlike a car crash, which would necessitate a few totaled cars, or a man-murder, which would leave a culprit to track down./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"All of the elders on the board were in the front row of chairs- some of them were looking interestedly at Jacob, who was to be the new alpha. He just smiled awkwardly at them and looked away. Seth, Jacob and I took our seats in the back corner of seats, far away from the elders and pack, and waited for Billy to begin the service./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"We were waiting there for about three minutes, the pouring rain stinging my face. A few more people arrived, parents or relatives by the look of it, and then Billy decided to begin. It was very difficult for me to pay attention to the words that he was saying, after the first five minutes; the tears I had been working so hard to keep in began to flood out. Billy's voice only got more and more distant as if he was going through a long tunnel. By the end of the service my eyes hurt from the never-ceasing tears and I couldn't hear a word anyone said./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I was partially glad for the rain today for it concealed my tears and made them indistinguishable from the raindrops. I could hear sobs and weep when I looked up to Jacob I could tell that even he was silently shedding tears for his lost friend./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Before I realized what had happened, people began to rise from their chairs and walk back to their cars. The funeral was over and I had missed nearly all of it. I stared at the holes that had now been filled until a voice brought me out of my trance./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Are you alright, Bella? You seem really…devastated." Jacob hummed, wrapping his arms around my torso./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I'm fine." I sighed, "I'm just…really going to miss them." More tears escaped my eyes./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""They died honorably." Jacob murmured. I could feel a moment of hesitation in Jacob's mood before he did something that took me totally off guard. Before I could comprehend anymore I could feel his warm lips moving against mine. Surprise captured me momentarily but once the shock subsided I was kissing him back. After we shared a pleasurable moment, I pulled away to see Jacob smiling ear to ear./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""What was that for?" I gasped; the kiss had taken my breath away./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You looked like you needed it." He replied simply, smiling even wider. I gave him a funny look./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I love you." I chuckled, ruffling his drenched hair./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Bella, I need you to-" he was cut off abruptly by a gruff voice in the distance./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You guys coming or not?" Seth called over the emwhoosh /emof the hammering rain, his head poking unwillingly out of the window of his Mercury./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""No thanks," Jake called back to him; my mouth dropped slightly as I gave him another odd glance to make sure his head was still screwed on./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Are you crazy?" I asked strongly, "It's empouring /emout here and I don't want to emwalk/em all the way back to the house! Besides, it's-"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Now it was my turn to be cut off as Jacob pressed his lips to mine once more. I smiled through the kiss and pulled away for a moment./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Bye Seth!" I yelled over to him, Jacob laughed carelessly./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You're crazy!" I accused in mock frustration./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He shrugged nonchalantly, "Guilty." I laughed with him this time./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Your mood has changed quite a bit since this morning." I charged him./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""So has yours."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He defiantly had a point. "So what were you about to say before Seth interrupted?" I asked, my uncontainable smile almost hurting my face./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He paused for a second, remembering, "Oh yeah!" He lowered his head, "I love you." He growled the words, smiling darkly. I laughed freely, no longer feeling the desperation in the mood. "I love you too."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He lifted my chin up to prove his love with yet another kiss. My mental fireworks exploded, each kiss feeling like our first. What did I ever do to deserve him? The answer to that question remains unknown to even me. I do know, however, that true love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. It is not something that is earned or deserved but a simple gift that is given to all of us- we just need to know where to look for it. It may have taken much too long to find out, but I've realized that love doesn't make the world go around, love is what makes the ride worthwhile./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I looked back on all that had happened. Jacob and I grew up together, I changed him and he changed me. There were times when we dreamed together and times we laughed and cried together. And whatever the future held, I knew that today might make the memories of tomorrow. So it was with all my heart that I gave him my love, hoping that he'd always carry my smile with him- for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"When all was said and done, he was a part of me. That's the way it was meant to be. People are brought together for a reason, everything happens for a reason. I believe the reason that he and me were brought together was that we completed one another. We filled in each other's missing spots with love. For there is no difficulty that love will not conquer, no disease will not heal or a door that it cannot open. There is no gulf that love cannot bridge, no wall that love will not throw down and no sin that love cannot redeem. It made no difference how deeply we were in trouble; how hopeless the outlook was; how muddled the tangle or how great the mistake. Our love would always prevail. No matter what happened to us, I knew that Jacob would always be mine forever./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I love you," I whispered gently, trying to calm whatever was bothering him. He turned around on the bed to face me. His eyes were knowing, more knowing than mine. It immediately made me wonder what had happened that I had missed while I was unconscious. He relaxed his jaw a fraction so that he could talk./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You're alive." He almost smiled. I still waited for the four words that he hadn't yet said. emI love you too./em The words were like a reflex for him, whatever happened, it was enough to throw his reflexes off. My eyebrows knit together in worry, I was really concerned now./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""What happened?" I asked yet another question that I didn't want to know the answer to. Jake didn't reply to me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Jacob you need to tell me what happened, the pack is emmy /emfamily too." He took a deep breath and I immediately knew what Jake was leading up to when he spoke the first sentence./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Carlisle did everything he could." Jacob turned away from me, trying to hide the depression in his eyes. I knew what he was going to say already, I bit my lip in preparation. "He couldn't save him." Jacob knew that I understood who he was talking about./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""What does that mean for us?" I asked, calm as ever. I knew that the tears were there- they just didn't want to come out yet. I was almost afraid of them- for I had no idea when I was going to explode./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""The council decided that I…should be the…new alpha." He didn't sound happy about it at all./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"There was a pause, I attempted to change the subject away from the alpha, "Will there be a funeral for them?" I asked solemnly. He nodded./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""When?" I persisted./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Some time today…" he drifted./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Today?" I doubted, "Don't you think that's a little short notice?"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You've been out for more than one day." He replied simply./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I could tell that I wasn't going to get a decent answer out of him so I stopped talking for a moment. "…You hungry?" I asked knowing that food always lightened his mood./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Not really, no."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I could feel his desperation hanging limply in the mood; I didn't want to be around it anymore so I made a lame excuse to getaway./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I'm going to go find out when the funeral is, Sam will probably…" I stopped, realizing what I had just said. There was no Sam. Sam was gone. I looked around the room embarrassed as if someone would speak up to correct me but no one did./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I rushed myself out of the house, hoping to shake off Jacob's depressing mood as I went. Quickly, I hurried into the forest and stripped, morphing into my white wolf self without any problem now that the poison had been extracted from my system./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I could sense a few people sharing minds with me- all of them were arguing in a flurry of thoughts and words. It was nearly impossible to make out one voice from another./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emWhat's going on?/em I practically had to shout the words to make myself heard. All of the arguing immediately ceased./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emH-hey Bella…/emI heard Jared murmur quietly. Curiously, I felt the minds around me, sensing Jared, Quil, Seth, and Brady. I could feel Jared's sadness, which was lined with guilt. After feeling the mood, I realized that everyone's thoughts were stitched with guilty feelings./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emWhat were you talking about? /emI asked slowly, knowing that they couldn't lie to me even if they wanted to- our minds were connected. Rapidly, I saw the images of Jacob, Sam and me flashing though everyone's thoughts. I could feel their insecurity and outrage at the choice of their new alpha. Jared and Brady were against the decision while Quil and Seth were all for it./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emWhy are you here? /emBrady thought callously as if I had no right to morph into my wolf self./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emShut up you idiot, /emQuil snapped at the newest wolf, emBella's a part of the pack too. She has as much right to be here as you do!/em/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Brady became very quiet, bitten by the words of his friend./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emActually, I /emdo emhave a reason for coming to you guys. /emI thought as if Brady had never interrupted me. The whole pack immediately knew what I wanted thanks to our brain-link./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"emThe funeral is in three hours. /emSeth whispered gently. He paused for a moment and I could see the faint image of a rusty car. emI could pick you up at Jake's if you want, we could ride here together if you want./em/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Seth's words were incased with pure silence. No one said anything- no one even thought anything- I knew that Seth knew what my answer was. Yes. I didn't want to be around these people, all of them were too sad and depressed for my liking. It's not as if they were feeling miserable without reason though; their leader, their alpha, had died. I was sad about it too but I knew that being around other sad people would not lift my mood in the least. I wanted to be around people that were happy, maybe then I would be happy too./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I knew it was no use hoping, however, so I bluntly announced to the pack that I was morphing back to human and relaxed all of my muscles until I could feel myself shrinking down to size. What was I going to do for three hours? It's not as if I was looking forward to the funeral, there would only be more crying, more depression, and more misery than there was here. I was not planning on testifying for any of the lost wolves but I felt as if I should still go. These three had given their lives to save me; the least I could do was come to their funeral and say my goodbyes./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Quickly, I pulled myself into my clothes before the frost could bite my bare skin. As a wolf, I was naturally warm but I wasn't planning on standing outside undressed for any length of time. I closed my eyes, a headache beginning to develop. I wasn't sure where to go now- I didn't want to go back to Jake's house, there was just as much despair in his mood as there was in the packs. I crouched down near the ground, rubbing my temples in a failed attempt to force my headache away. The snow immediately melted where I touched it and was replaced with water./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I groaned in aggravation, almost wanting to curl up on the ground, go to sleep and wake up when this was all over. I knew, however, that the pack would be forever wounded at the loss of their comrades. Everything we had done, we did because we loved each other. Sam, Embry, and Leah gave their lives to protect us. They paid the ultimate price for their love- but the course of love never did run smooth. I stood back up, ignoring my headache, and began to walk without a particular destination. I didn't know where my feet were taking me until I was there./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I stopped about ten yards away from the Cullen's mansion. I wasn't sure what it was about the familiar domain but it seemed to slightly calm my nerves. I hadn't been to the house for nearly four months when I had come to talk to Edward about 'us'. I hadn't been eminside/em since the incident on my birthday last year. Involuntarily, I walked up to the house and lightly tapped on the front door, almost hoping that if there was anyone inside, they couldn't hear me so I could walk away and pretend that they weren't at home. But I knew that they were there, I could smell the tantalizingly fresh scent of vampire. At this point in time, I had learned to control my urge to kill any vampire in my scent range./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"The door opened cautiously and I recognized Esme's petite form. After seeing me, she opened the door wider and gave me a heart-warming smile as if no time had passed since my eighteenth birthday and today./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Bella!" she greeted happily, "what a pleasant surprise! We certainly weren't expecting you after…what happened." Her voice hit a sour note but recovered quickly. "What brings you here?"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I sighed, unable to tell her exactly why I had come here- I wasn't completely sure myself. Esme continued to stand in the doorway, patiently awaiting an answer. I took a deep breath, unsure of what I was going to say./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""She's stressed…" I heard Jasper's calm voice descending the staircase as he read my emotions like an open book. "She's feeling sad…but…doesn't want to be around people who are sad too." There was a pause and he squinted his eyes slightly, taking his place next to Esme. "She needs…" he attempted reading even deeper, "reassurance and someone…cheerful to take her mind off of things." Jasper finished, looking thoroughly pleased with his ability./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I felt no more need to explain myself. I was about to turn and leave, thinking it was stupid to ask the Cullens for help after all that they had already done for me, but Esme had a different opinion. Open-heartedly she wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into the warm house with her./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I looked around the house that I hadn't seen in ages. It looked almost exactly the same as when I first saw it with only one major difference. The huge, grand piano that had once sat serenely on the raised platform near the back of the room had seemingly disappeared. I wasn't sure if I was surprised or not seeing that Edward had been the only one in the family to set his fingers on the ivory keys. I knew better than to ask about it./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Oh, honey." Esme soothed, gently setting me down on a fancy couch. "Everything is going to be just fine, trust me. Everyone in this family knows what it's like to lose people that we're close to. You just need to take your mind off of things as Jasper said. In fact, I know just the person to help you with that." She grinned happily. "Alice." She spoke her name as if she was talking to someone who was sitting right next to her./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Immediately the black-haired girl's cold arms were wrapped around me in an open hug. "So this is why this afternoon's whole future was wiped out." She giggled, and then came back to the subject at hand. "Do you know what always takes my mind off of things?" she asked smiling gleefully./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""What?" I groaned. I had known Alice long enough to know what her remedy to all problems was./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Shopping!" she squealed, pulling me up off the couch by my arm. I tried to draw my hand away but her iron grip held me fast./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""No thanks, Alice." I protested sternly, "I'm emreally /emnot in the mood for a shopping spree right now."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"She pouted and looked over my shoulder at her foster mom, "Esme!" she whined. "Tell Bella to come with me!" I swiveled my head around to look at the motherly vampire who was smiling apologetically at me. "I think you should go, Bella." She encouraged. "I know that you've never really been into that kind of thing but I'd give it a try if I were you."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Fine." I reluctantly agreed, "But I have to be back at Jake's house in emtwo and a half hours/em." Alice, whom I didn't realize was even listening to my protest, asked: "Why?"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Seth's picking me up to go to the…funeral." I gritted my teeth slightly."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Well if you're actually going then you'll need something to wear right?" Alice smiled slyly. I imagined what she would have in mind for me to wear to a funeral. I shuddered, looking at the mental picture of myself wearing a floor-length, poofy black gown with a lacey veil and high-high heeled black shoes./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Alice tugged on my arm, "Come on!" she urged impatiently, pulling me into the eight-car garage. Everything seemed to be in its place- there was a different car for everyone in the Cullen family. There was only one thing that was obviously missing. I looked through the cars one by one and noticed the absence of a shiny silver Volvo. Again, I knew better than to ask about it./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Alice pushed me over to a glorious bright yellow Porsche. I stared at it in awe. "Do you like it? I just got it a few weeks ago." Alice giggled gazing fondly at the car. I could only nod. After spending so much time with Jacob I had learned to appreciate cars much more than I used to./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Well get in it then! I bought the car so that I could drive it, not just goggle at it."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I opened the passenger door and sat down on the cool leather seating, like Carlisle's car, the windows were tinted. Alice was already backing out of the driveway before I could close the door. The speedometer hit sixty before we were on the highway./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Where are we going?" I asked begrudgingly, remembering that I was shopping for a funeral./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Port Angeles. They've got the best dresses there." Alice squeaked excitedly. I groaned in protest, reminding her that shopping wasn't very high on my 'things I like to do' list./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""It's emfine/em Bella! You'll have fun!" She promised./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Seth knocked on the door of Jake's house twenty minutes to three. I had just finished zipping up the outfit that Alice had bought me. It was a silky black dress that dropped down to my shins and was ruffled along the end. The dress flowed freely and gracefully when I walked in it. I was surprised to realize that I was quite fond of it. My shoes were three-inch heels and a neat, shiny black. It had taken a lot of steering on my part to rein in Alice- but the outfit had defiantly turned out great./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Frustratingly, after she had bought my dress and insisted on paying for the entire thing, Alice forced me into a hair salon saying that it was only fair for her. I disagreed but didn't have enough energy to resist her. Now my hair was elegantly curled and spun up into a neat bun./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Come in!" I called Seth, smoothing out all the wrinkles in my dress. I heard the front door open and close as Seth walked into the family room to find me looking at my reflection through in black TV. He wolf-whistled at me, taking in what I was wearing. I blushed and smiled when I saw the way he was looking at me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You look…really nice, Bella." He chuckled, "So are you ready to go or do you need to go get a manicure or whatever?" For a moment I thought I saw him smile but when I looked again his face was recomposed in that dull, sad expression./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Yeah." I murmured my smile fading. His depression was catching on me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He waited for a moment as if he was expecting me to say something, finally realizing I didn't know what to say next he asked, "Is Jake ready?" his voice was quiet./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I'm not sure…let me see." I motioned for him to sit on the couch as I poked my head into Jake's room to see if he was there. He was. He sat on the bed in the same position I left him in, his hands were folded tightly and his face was contorted. It was clear that he had moved, however, because he was wearing different clothes than hi was this morning. He had on some black slacks and a loose-fitting white oxford that was done up nicely with a black tie./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You ready to go? Seth's here." I asked gently, taking my place next to him on the bed. He didn't answer me for a moment and I was almost afraid that he didn't hear me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Ready as I'll ever be." He sighed, "Let's go."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Seth led us to his junked up, rust-covered Mercury that his parents bought him when he earned his driver's license. After riding in Alice's Porsche this afternoon, Seth's car looked pretty under rate- he seemed to be fond of it though. Seth tried to catch the driver's seat but Jake had already slid inside./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""It's my car!" Seth complained, "Let me drive!"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I'm a more experienced driver and I already know where to go." Jake countered./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Fine," Seth muttered, opening the passenger door mumbling objections under his breath./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Hey, Seth? Can you sit back here with me please?" I whispered knowing he could hear me./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He looked at me funny for a moment. "Why?"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Bella's still afraid of being alone." Jacob jeered lightly; his mood had completely changed since being inside of the house./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Alright then." Seth smiled. I opened the door closest to me for him to come through but he was already crawling into the back from the passenger seat. I shut the car door and the frame shuddered in a shower of rust flakes./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I weakly rested my head on Seth's shoulder, nearly falling asleep in contact with him. After being in a forced state of sleep for over forty-eight hours you'd think that I would be wide awake./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You're tired?" Seth speculated, poking my cheek. "I sighed and nodded into him hoping that sleep would find me soon, but the carried wasn't as long as I had anticipated- it was short, only about five to ten minutes long./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"As a matter of fact, once we arrived and I looked around the site, I realized that emnothing/em was what I had anticipated. Every time I thought of a funeral I would think of a dark, cloudy day with drizzling rain. There would be a crowd of people, all of them carrying matching black umbrellas, all huddling together in a cemetery, circling a tall gray tombstone. This wasn't anything like I had imagined./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"It was full-fledge raining outside of the small car; it was almost like the earth was mourning with the rest of us. It almost seemed cheesy- how in all sad movies and books whenever something bad happened it would begin to rain. We were, however, living in the rainiest area in the country so the downpour wasn't much of a surprise. We weren't anywhere near a cemetery either- we were just outside the woods in a small clearing. There were two short rows of plastic chairs, in front of which there were three large holes in the soggy ground. Each one was partially filled with a lumpy mass of fur and blankets./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"How honorable./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"The chairs all held familiar faces, everyone seemed unaware that it was even raining. The rest of the pack had already arrived; their sad, mournful expressions immediately extinguished my mood and were burned into my memory. Emily, Sam's fiancée who stood feebly next to the huge forms of the pack boys, had her skinny, tan arms wrapped around Jared and was sobbing into his already soaked t-shirt./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Embry's mom had her hands cupped against her face, bawling into them; she didn't even know that her son was a werewolf and was told that a bear had mauled him and his friends who had just gone out for a hike in the woods. A bear attack required no evidence except for the dead bodies, unlike a car crash, which would necessitate a few totaled cars, or a man-murder, which would leave a culprit to track down./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"All of the elders on the board were in the front row of chairs- some of them were looking interestedly at Jacob, who was to be the new alpha. He just smiled awkwardly at them and looked away. Seth, Jacob and I took our seats in the back corner of seats, far away from the elders and pack, and waited for Billy to begin the service./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"We were waiting there for about three minutes, the pouring rain stinging my face. A few more people arrived, parents or relatives by the look of it, and then Billy decided to begin. It was very difficult for me to pay attention to the words that he was saying, after the first five minutes; the tears I had been working so hard to keep in began to flood out. Billy's voice only got more and more distant as if he was going through a long tunnel. By the end of the service my eyes hurt from the never-ceasing tears and I couldn't hear a word anyone said./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I was partially glad for the rain today for it concealed my tears and made them indistinguishable from the raindrops. I could hear sobs and weep when I looked up to Jacob I could tell that even he was silently shedding tears for his lost friend./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Before I realized what had happened, people began to rise from their chairs and walk back to their cars. The funeral was over and I had missed nearly all of it. I stared at the holes that had now been filled until a voice brought me out of my trance./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Are you alright, Bella? You seem really…devastated." Jacob hummed, wrapping his arms around my torso./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I'm fine." I sighed, "I'm just…really going to miss them." More tears escaped my eyes./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""They died honorably." Jacob murmured. I could feel a moment of hesitation in Jacob's mood before he did something that took me totally off guard. Before I could comprehend anymore I could feel his warm lips moving against mine. Surprise captured me momentarily but once the shock subsided I was kissing him back. After we shared a pleasurable moment, I pulled away to see Jacob smiling ear to ear./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""What was that for?" I gasped; the kiss had taken my breath away./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You looked like you needed it." He replied simply, smiling even wider. I gave him a funny look./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""I love you." I chuckled, ruffling his drenched hair./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Bella, I need you to-" he was cut off abruptly by a gruff voice in the distance./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You guys coming or not?" Seth called over the emwhoosh /emof the hammering rain, his head poking unwillingly out of the window of his Mercury./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""No thanks," Jake called back to him; my mouth dropped slightly as I gave him another odd glance to make sure his head was still screwed on./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Are you crazy?" I asked strongly, "It's empouring /emout here and I don't want to emwalk/em all the way back to the house! Besides, it's-"/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"Now it was my turn to be cut off as Jacob pressed his lips to mine once more. I smiled through the kiss and pulled away for a moment./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Bye Seth!" I yelled over to him, Jacob laughed carelessly./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""You're crazy!" I accused in mock frustration./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He shrugged nonchalantly, "Guilty." I laughed with him this time./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""Your mood has changed quite a bit since this morning." I charged him./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;""So has yours."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He defiantly had a point. "So what were you about to say before Seth interrupted?" I asked, my uncontainable smile almost hurting my face./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He paused for a second, remembering, "Oh yeah!" He lowered his head, "I love you." He growled the words, smiling darkly. I laughed freely, no longer feeling the desperation in the mood. "I love you too."/p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"He lifted my chin up to prove his love with yet another kiss. My mental fireworks exploded, each kiss feeling like our first. What did I ever do to deserve him? The answer to that question remains unknown to even me. I do know, however, that true love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. It is not something that is earned or deserved but a simple gift that is given to all of us- we just need to know where to look for it. It may have taken much too long to find out, but I've realized that love doesn't make the world go around, love is what makes the ride worthwhile./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"I looked back on all that had happened. Jacob and I grew up together, I changed him and he changed me. There were times when we dreamed together and times we laughed and cried together. And whatever the future held, I knew that today might make the memories of tomorrow. So it was with all my heart that I gave him my love, hoping that he'd always carry my smile with him- for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold./p
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14.08px;"When all was said and done, he was a part of me. That's the way it was meant to be. People are brought together for a reason, everything happens for a reason. I believe the reason that he and me were brought together was that we completed one another. We filled in each other's missing spots with love. For there is no difficulty that love will not conquer, no disease will not heal or a door that it cannot open. There is no gulf that love cannot bridge, no wall that love will not throw down and no sin that love cannot redeem. It made no difference how deeply we were in trouble; how hopeless the outlook was; how muddled the tangle or how great the mistake. Our love would always prevail. No matter what happened to us, I knew that Jacob would always be mine forever./p