Chapter Thirty
Ok. Sometimes Ray had no idea why he put up with his brothers when they were like this. He loved Sonny, he was his brother but at the ever moment he hated his brother. The way Sonny had treated Clay was wrong on all accounts but at the same time, he knew that his brother was hurting too. They all were. Which was the reason, well one of the reasons why he had gone after him. The other being to make sure that no one else got hurt if they ran into his hot-headed brother. However, the moment that he had left Clay's hospital room he found that finding Sonny was going to be a lot harder than he first thought. Their hot-headed Texan had vanished.
He had expected to see his brother pacing the waiting room again or kicking a bin or two but it was empty. His brother was nowhere in sight. It was like he had completely disappeared. Well nearly. If anything he had expected at least a trail of destruction behind him as he left however as he looked down the hallway he found that nothing was out of place. That didn't sound right for Sonny. Everything looked fine.
But as Ray made his way towards the exit he clocked a worried-looking lieutenant at the end of the hall and he could only guess that Sonny was to blame for that. Seeing a seriously pissed off Navy Seal storm out was a force to be reckoned with and more so when he was deadly quiet. He gave the young man a nod, just to tell him that everything was ok before heading out into the daylight. He had work to do, hunting down Sonny was not going to be easy but it needed to be done. So the hunt was on.
There were only a shortlist of places where Sonny would go but that didn't mean it was going to be easy. Thankfully their base med bay was only small and he was able to check each room as he headed towards the exit. The next place was the gym, it was full of other Seals and Navy personal but not Sonny. He had spotted Carlos, Delta's 1IC on the weights who had immediately stopped and headed over to him.
After a short chat, Ray had learned that Sonny hadn't turned up there but he would keep an eye out for him and call if he did. Ray was also able to give him an update on Clay, Delta had arrived home two weeks late but they didn't care very much. Clay was family after all. Carlos hadn't really spent much time with Clay however they both were aware that Clay and Delta's sniper Vincent had been spending time together when they were both home at the range practising. Another running theme with Clay. The kid loved helping others with their aim, the kid wasn't just a gifted sniper but also a teacher. Ray knew that they had Adam to thank for that as the man had taken Clay under his wing during Green Team and had moulded him into one hell of a Seal and team guy but also the kid was special. They all knew that. It was like the kid had been designed to be one hell of a Seal.
Thanking Carlos, Ray headed over to the locker room to find it empty. So were the range and the armoury. All of Sonny's normal haunts were a ghost town for their brother. The only places he hadn't checked were off base, but there was no way in hell could Sonny possibly get off base without him running into him as Ray knew that like them all, their keys were in their lockers so he should still be there. But he couldn't put it past him, Sonny in a foul mood was a force to be reckoned with. However, at the same time, Ray knew that Sonny wouldn't just leave like that. So he was still on the base somewhere. But the question was where?
He had no idea what was happening between Sonny and Clay but there were brothers. In every way other than blood. It was like the two of them had been cut with some of the same cloth however Clay's had been mixed with other fabrics that gave him a lot more control than Sonny. Clay was also able to calm Sonny more than anyone else. It was like Clay could connect with Sonny in order for him to control him a little however if something pissed them both off then everyone had to watch out. The two of them were a force like no other. They were unpredictable and that was what made them dangerous.
However, it wasn't just the connection that made them brothers, over time they both had started to change. It was like sometimes their personalities rubbed off on each other. Just little things but things that Ray had picked up on. Like Clay's type of music being one of them. He had found Sonny stealing some of Clay's music that he had kept in his locker but hadn't said anything as it meant that their stubborn Texan boy was growing as a person. And then it hit him.
He had to stop thinking about where Sonny would go if he wanted to be alone and think where Clay would go. That was even a shorter list than Sonny's. Clay found peace in only two places and one of which he had already checked. The other he hadn't. Clay always found peace when he was on a beach, alone and looking out onto the sea. They all knew that they had to respect the water as they knew the dangers of it but at the same time, Clay found peace near it. But personally, Ray knew that there was something very personal about the water for Clay, he just didn't know what.
Thinking back to one of their family team tips to the beach where the whole family was there, he noticed that Clay would often go off on his own and sit on the sand watching the waves hit. It was like Clay trapped himself into his own bubble when he had to be alone. He wouldn't speak to anyone when he was like that nor acknowledge anything around him. Whatever was running through Clay's head had him locked in his own world where the real world was stuck in a single frame. After the first few trips witnessing the same thing, he had called up Adam to see if he had noticed anything like this with Clay during Green Team but he came back with nothing. Adam had no idea what he was talking about but at the same time, Adam hadn't spent much time outside of training with Clay so they had no new information on that front. From Ray's point of view, Clay found something in the water that could get him to relax more than anything else.
When Clay was in his bubble, no one could get him out of it. Expect his kids, Jason's kids and Cerberus. That was it. None of the team nor their partners could get Clay back to reality. It was strange, they had tried on occasion but hadn't succeeded yet. It was like he would trap himself in his own head without becoming a danger. One of the funny moments when Cerberus had brought Clay out of his bubble was when Cerb after chasing his ball into the water had gone to Clay instead of returning to Brock. It had confused them all and all they could do was watch. Cerb had trotted over to Clay dropping his ball close to him and then shook, spraying Clay badly. They had all had a laugh at the scene which ended with Clay throwing the ball directly at Sonny who had sent a smart mouth comment back at him.
And so he headed towards the beach. With the training they did on the sand, the military had cornered off part of the beach from the public which meant that they were unlikely to be disturbed. Green Team weren't scheduled to use the beach for another week so Sonny was likely to be alone. A good place for a serious talk without someone coming across them.
Within fifteen minutes, he was on the beach. It was empty at first look, as looked more closely he found his target. Sat a couple of feet from where the waves came to rest was Sonny, his hat at his feet like he had thrown it off in anger as he sat on the sand. As he got closer, Ray saw the full effect that Clay had on his brother, something that he didn't like showing any of them, his own pain. Ray could see it clear as day, his brother looked broken.
They all had been shocked by Sonny's reaction when Clay had finally admitted what had been slowly destroying him. But at the same time, it hurt them all. Clay had been so worried about letting them down or causing them grief, that he had hidden what the real problem was in order to spare them pain. Something that had become a running theme with the kid ever since he had joined Bravo. But it had been that, of course, made them all mad at him. He didn't have to worry about them when he was himself so broken. Ray didn't understand why Clay thought that he needed to protect them when all they wanted was to be there for him. But what scared them as was how Sonny had reacted to the news. He had all but attacked him. Not physically but Ray knew that Sonny's words and attitude had affected Clay. He had caused the wounds the Clay already had run deeper. Sonny had hurt their brother and Ray couldn't let that stand. He wouldn't then and he wouldn't now.
Ray understood the anger, they were all angry at Clay for what had happened and the fact that he had lied to them but unlike Sonny, the rest of them understood why. Clay had been handed a mission and people believing in him that he could return when he had been told by so many people that he wasn't ready or was unlikely ever to return to the teams. A chance to fight again. Something that he would have jumped at when he had been benched with his shoulder and if that meant lying to his brothers about doing so then he would do it in a heartbeat. He would hate himself for doing it but he would. Because that was who he was, it was who they all were. They were soldiers. They lived to fight. Not sit by and let others do so.
But now he couldn't think about himself. He needed to focus on the problems ahead, the problem that was sat in front of him. Something that could cause future issues within the team. The friendship between two brothers hung in the balance and if he could get them on the same page, then it was likely that they were going to lose one of them. Something that they didn't want. Sadly, it was with the two of the most stubborn Seals he had ever known, but thankfully, only needed to deal with one of them at the moment.
Moving towards Sonny, Ray knew that he had to get his own personal anger under control before he faced Sonny. He didn't want to set Sonny off by getting defensive with him when all he wanted to do was to yell at him. Even drag him back to the med bay and get him to apologize to Clay for his attitude. But he couldn't do that, he needed Sonny to go to Clay himself without feeling that he was been forced too, that was how Sonny worked. And thankfully Ray had a few years dealing with the mad Texan.
Ray had gotten within touching distance before Sonny looked up at him. He felt the emotion drain from the man in front of him and he could tell straight away that Sonny had been crying. His puffy red eyes gave him away. Something clearly was going on with Sonny just like something was going on with Clay. And like Clay, Sonny needed to get out whatever was causing him pain. Ray needed to get him to talk and soon before he exploded on someone else. Or worse, Clay again.
Sonny didn't say anything as Ray sat down next to him, he just looked back out into the sea. He didn't want to talk to anyone. All he wanted to do was to drink himself into oblivion and try to forget everything but knew that Ray wasn't going to leave him alone. Not till he talked. And he hadn't brought any beer with him either.
"Want to tell me what that was that all about?" Ray asked softly, looking back out to sea just as Sonny was. He didn't want to ambush the man because he knew he would shut down but at the same time get him comfortable to talk. Well, that was the plan anyway.
Sonny sighed, he knew that Ray was not going to leave things alone and he didn't blame him, he had been horrible to his little brother but at the same time didn't want to explain himself because personally, he didn't know what was going on with him. He had no answer for them. "I don't need your religious-philosophical conversation right now," Sonny said clearly, not even looking at Ray as he said it. He couldn't.
Ray sighed at Sonny, he knew that his brother was unlikely to admit that he was having problems or even talk openly about what had happened to cause him to attack his own brother. So he was going to have to make him. "Ok..." Ray said shaking his head. Sometimes he hated how stubborn his brothers could be, but what he hated more was that Sonny had called his advice religious-philosophical which was a big word for Sonny and really he should be proud of him for saying it but he knew where it had come from. Clay. Another habit he had picked up from their youngest team member. One of the other habits he had picked up from Clay was something he had seen one day after a long day of training. Ray had forgotten something and after everyone else had left he had gone back to the locker room to find Sonny sat in his locker reading. Reading an actual book. But at the moment that wasn't important. Right now, what he truly needed was Sonny to shut up long enough to listen to him.
"What my Seal-brother talk then?" Ray asked glaring at Sonny as he felt his anger start to build again. "Fine. What the hell were you thinking? Having a go at Clay like that? Hasn't he suffered enough without one of his brothers attacking him as well." Ray exploded; he had no idea what the hell was going through Sonny's head but he wanted answers. And he wanted it now.
"I'm pissed." Sonny barked, gripping hold of his hat in his hand and scrunched it up like he wanted to rip it apart. To be truthful to himself, he was regretting having a go at Clay the way he had done but at the same time, knew really why he felt the way he did. He was angry. He just didn't know what to do with that anger.
"Got that detail Sonny. Loud and clear." Ray said with a scoff. It was clear to everyone that Sonny was pissed. But what Ray wanted to know was why he was projecting that anger onto Clay. "What I want to know is why are you so angry at Clay?" Ray asked turning his body to he was looking at Sonny side on, he needed to know what had happened between Clay and Sonny so that the team could go back to normal when Clay was cleared to return.
"Aren't you?" Sonny asked looking at Ray with some disbelief that Ray wasn't feeling the same. Or at least some of it.
"Maybe..." Ray started turning back to watch the sea, he took in a long breath before starting again, "but my anger isn't fully at Clay. He just did what he was ordered to do. Can't be angry at that, I'm more pissed at Jones for betraying him and Zurkoff for hurting him." Ray admitted, in a few moments of silence, watching the waves, he knew why Clay found peace looking out onto the sea.
"Why's that?" Sonny asked a little confused at Ray's statement. Yes, they were all pissed at Jones, Zurkoff and Mason for their roles in the failed mission. And it wasn't a surprise to him that Ray wouldn't say a bad word against the Admiral but the man had played his part in the mess they had been ordered to clean up. But at the same time, Ray should be pissed at Clay for leaving them in the dark. He had lied to their face. Told them that he was going away to heal but instead he had gone right into the fire without backup.
"Cause I get why he did what he did," Ray admitted shrugging his shoulders. He had no idea where Sonny was going with this but if it meant his brother started talking then so be it.
"What?" Sonny looked at Ray now really confused, even turning his body so he could look at Ray more carefully. The teams were family and that meant there had to be a level of trust there so they could operate the way they did. And to learn that one of his brothers would openly lie to him meant that something was completely out of wack. And he didn't like it.
Ray sighed but kept his eyes on the water. "When I was sidelined with my shoulder and Jason was... well, being Jason, I felt left out. I was alone without my brothers. And to be truthful I felt betrayed. That you guys were off doing the job that we all loved when I was stuck at home waiting to hear that you guys were ok. That you all were coming home." Ray admitted shaking his head because admitting the pain and anger that he felt for his closest friend caused him to hate himself. But also the worry he had felt when he had seen Bravo take off without him. Questions that had plagued him like would all his brothers come back? Would any of them come back hurt? Now he knew what their partners went through every time they deployed.
"Jason was being a dick then," Sonny said with a snark in his voice. He never agreed that the way Jason had treated Ray but got it at the same time. Ray had lied to them and had risked all of their lives on the ops that they had done since they deployed. So he got it, he just didn't like being out there without Ray as 2IC. Yes, Clay did a good job when he had kept Ray's seat warm but at the same time, it scared him. Clay was a born leader and one day they were going to lose him to another team which was a day that he was scared would come too soon. Every team wanted Clay, they had all heard the team talks when Clay was in the draft. Every DEVGRU team wanted him, it didn't matter who he was related too, he was one hell of a Seal. An asset to any team but he belonged to them. He was their brother and they weren't going to let him go without a fight. No matter how much he hated him at this very moment, he wouldn't let him go.
"Maybe he was but he was right. I lied to him and it cost a little boy his life. I risked all of your lives. And it's why I get Clay and why he did what he did. When you can't get back into the action when you wanted too, you will do anything to get back into the action. If someone came up to me and offered me the chance to get back into the action then yer I would take it, without a second thought." Ray said, knowing that admitting that he would openly lie to his brothers if it meant returned to action was worse than hiding his injury from them.
"You would lie to us again?" Sonny asked shocked that Ray would say that, but thinking back Ray had lied to them. Lied right to their face saying that he was fine when he wasn't. Risking all of their lives because he didn't want to miss another mission. But this was different. Clay had lied to them about going on a mission that was completely fucked right from the beginning. Lied to them when they all knew he wasn't cleared to operate and yet he had agreed to go.
"If it meant being back in the action, then yes," Ray said turning to face Sonny once again. They lived for the action, they all did and when that was taken away from them, it hurt. It destroyed them. Which was why they were the best because they lived for the action.
"No, you wouldn't." Sonny chuckled shaking his head at the thought. Ray wouldn't lie to them again, he couldn't believe he would. No again.
"Sonny unless you have been in mine and Clay's shoes then you wouldn't get it," Ray muttered shaking his head. He knew that maybe Sonny would never understand why Clay had done what he had done but hopefully, maybe he could get him to see it. For Clay's sake. But really for all of their sakes.
"Whatever," Sonny muttered putting his hat back on muttering something that Ray didn't catch and turned away from Ray and looked back to the sea. However, Ray knew now what was really happening with Sonny, it made sense now. Their tough Navy Seal was worried and scared but, not for himself. But for their brother. It explained everything, Sonny didn't know where to place his anger and his worry had caused him to mix the two emotions up.
"He is going to be ok Sonny." Ray finally said turning to look at his brother once again, gripping hold of Sonny's forearm. He knew that underneath all that anger Sonny was just scared that they were going to lose their brother. Last time was bad enough when Clay had been hurt in Manila but this time it was worse. Because they hadn't been there for him when he had been hurt. Did Clay think they had abandoned him when he was in that warehouse or the ship because they didn't get to him fast enough? How would that affect Clay and relationship within the team? Would he want to come back?
Now Ray knew what was floating around Sonny's head. He was scared Clay would leave them. That was not going to happen. Not if he had anything to say about it.
"Is he?" Sonny asked; Ray could hear the emotion and the hurt in Sonny's voice. He was hurting. Sonny was so scared that they were still going to lose Clay that he had no way of controlling his emotion.
"You heard the doctors brother, he is going to be ok. It is going to take time but he is going to be ok." Ray repeating what he had said to the others, he knew that he was also trying to convince himself too. Clay had been hurt pretty bad and the recovery time was going to be painful for them all. It was likely that they would be spun up without Clay again soon. If it hadn't been for Harrington and Blackburn they would have been already. They had a lot to be thankful for.
"His body may be but his head is seriously messed up. We can all see it." Sonny said shaking his head at Ray's words. They all knew that Clay was suffering both mentally and physically but over the last few days more mentally. However, sadly both of them could end Clay's career in the teams and the Navy. Something that none of them wanted to think about but it was true. All it would take was one doctor or shrink telling the Navy that Clay was done and that was that. Clay was done.
Ray sighed and tapped Sonny's forearm again. "You got to remember Sonny has us now, we're going to be there for him. To help him with dealing with all of his ghosts just like we helped you after the sub incident," Ray said before he removed his hand from Sonny's arm and quickly started to rubbed them together. A northerly wind had started to hit them and he was feeling the cold. The cold weather, however, caused him to remember the cold sensation that had started the moment they had found out that Sonny struck in a tube that was filling with water. They had to listen as their brother slowly drowned knowing that they could nothing to help or ease his pain. Something that he never wanted to relive again.
Sonny nodded, remembering the feeling of dying start to come over him again. "Blondie helped me the most, the damn kid wouldn't leave me alone for the second after I got released from the hospital," Sonny said trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. All of his brothers had helped him when he had gotten home but Clay had been the one that never left his side.
"I remember," Ray said, he remembered that as soon as the doctors had given Sonny the all-clear to go home and after a long talking too about what he could and couldn't do, Clay had become glued to his side. Wouldn't leave him alone. Even camped out on Sonny's coach until he had been cleared to return to the team. But it was when Clay was camping out in Sonny's apartment did the fun began. Not then but thinking back definitely.
Ray smiled and then turned back to Sonny with a chuckle. "I also remember you threatening to kill Clay in some serious and violent ways if we didn't get him out of your place, also told us that we would have to deal with the mess afterwards," Ray added and smiling even more when Sonny pulled a face as he remembered what his little brother had done for him and what he had said. Ray chuckled to himself again as he remembered all of Sonny's late night or early morning phone calls. Naima had come very close to killing Sonny if he had kept it up any longer. She had muttered something about hating him as she turned over as he took the calls.
Often Naima heard exactly what Sonny said because their crazy brother would often scream through the phone. Thinking about one of the calls, it had been 3 am in the morning and on the fourth night in a row that Sonny had called him yelling that if he didn't get Clay out of his place then he was going to chop Clay into little pieces and bury him all other the country. However, Ray knew that if Clay could survive months living with Sonny when they were deployed then he could survive staying with him at home. And he knew that Sonny would never kill Clay or hurt him in a way that could lead to death. But the phone calls had become annoying.
"I remember that. The kid was there for me when I needed him even when I didn't want him there." Sonny said with a chuckle remembering the weeks Clay had spent with him. The kid wouldn't leave him alone. Would go wherever he would go, Clay would go. He had been so horrid to Clay all the time he was there and had said some things that he wished he hadn't but Clay didn't hold it against him. Hadn't even mentioned it.
"At the time, you wanted to kill the kid but in the end, you knew that he was only there to make sure that you were ok," Ray said fondly. It was the one time that he didn't need to worry about Sonny because he knew that Clay would be there for their brother when he needed him. He had been proud of the kid for standing up and looking after his brother when he needed him. But mainly it had been the only time when they were home that he didn't need to worry about getting a call from the local police or the MPs telling him that Sonny had been arrested for fighting. A habit that Sonny had been known for, but thankfully they had been able to nip a lot of problems in the butt before things got too bad that it would risk Sonny's place on the teams.
"Little bubby wouldn't leave me alone for one god damn seconded," Sonny said laughing. Those were good memories but at the same time, he hated himself for what he had put Clay thought. And now the roles were reversed, Clay had needed him but he hadn't been there for him. He had abandoned him. Just like Jones. He was no better than the traitor.
"But you needed him," Ray said looking at Sonny carefully. The man was full of surprises, just like how Sonny and Clay had come so close, that the two of them had become inseparable.
"Yer, I guess I did," Sonny said. He hated admitting that he needed help but he did and Clay had been his saving grace.
"And now Clay needs you like you needed him back then," Ray said nodding to the fact that Sonny had just admitted to needing someone but at the same time reminding Sonny now that Clay was the one that needed him now. Clay was the one that was in pain and needed his brother to be there.
"How can he forgive me after what I just did?" Sonny said looking down at his hands that were shaking once again. He had started to believe that maybe he destroyed everything he touched, his relationship with Clay being one of them. Would his brother ever forgive him? Because if he was Clay, he wouldn't. He would tell himself to fuck off. But that wasn't' Clay.
"Come on Sonny..." Ray said shaking his head. But before he could finish Sonny jumped in.
"No! We all know how hard it is to get Clay to trust anybody." Sonny snapped throwing his hands in the air before resting them onto his head. He pulled his knees up and rested his elbows on his knees. Closing himself off from the world. "Come on it took us months to get the kid to trust us," Sonny argued and he knew that Ray understood what he was getting at but knew that he wouldn't let it go either. Clay didn't trust easily and when the trust was broken it was hard for it to be rebuilt.
"Sonny..." Ray groaned knowing that Sonny wasn't going to listen to him, the only person he was going to listen to was Clay. But he had to get Sonny to the point that he felt ready facing Clay again. Even if it took him a little more time to talk to Clay properly but even if he stepped back into Clay's room he would be happy.
"And I just blow our friendship out of the water because I'm too pissed off at everything." Sonny cried out shaking his head and allowed his head to fall into his hands this time once again. He was losing his best friend and brother all over again. He had lost Danny and now he was losing Clay. He couldn't deal with losing anyone else. He wouldn't survive it.
"Sonny..." Ray said gripping hold of Sonny's forearm. "Clay will forgive you," He needed his brother to listen to him. Or at least started to forgive himself for what had happened.
"You don't know that," Sonny admitted, he knew that his voice told Ray that he didn't truly believe him.
Ray knew that Sonny was right. He didn't know if Clay would ever fully forgive Sonny for what he had done but at the same time, he knew Clay. Clay cared for his brothers and he knew that Clay would understand why Sonny had acted the way he had. The pair sat in silence for a while, both caught up in their own worlds both watching the waves lick the beach. The wind was still blowing but had dropped for the time being. All of a sudden a thought came to Ray's mind and he could help but chuckle at the thought of it. This caused Sonny to look at him with a worrying expression like he had lost his mind.
Ray shook his head before speaking. "You and Clay are the most annoying pair of Seals I have ever met. You two are responsible for most of mine and Jason's grey hairs." Ray explained shaking his head still shaking his head laughing.
"Sure that's not coz your both old?" Sonny asked with his normal cheeky grin.
Ray turned and glared at Sonny before punching his upper arm. "Haha very funny." At least he was seeing their old Sonny back, even just a little.
"Truth hurts," Sonny muttered, earning himself another punch but couldn't stop himself from laughing.
"Thanks." Ray started still shaking his head but also made a note to let Jason know Sonny was hurting too. They were going to have to sit down as a team and talk. Something that they didn't normally do but it needed to happen if they wanted to return to active duty as a team. But they all needed it. Sonny and Clay weren't the only ones. They all did.
"You two are so like brothers it's scary. You are going to fight and argue like no one else I have ever meet who wasn't married." Ray said adding a smile when Sonny pulled a face about him and Clay being compared to a married couple. "Remember when Clay first joined us? You hated him. At times we thought that maybe he would say something to set you off and you would go for him." Ray said gripping hold of Sonny's arm again. He needed to get his brother to see that he was not to blame for Clay's injuries nor his suffering.
"You really thought I would do that?" Sonny asked looking at his brother in disbelief, he would never hurt one of his brothers without a really good reason. He had fights with them and he had remembered that he had punched one or two of them on occasion but drink had always been involved.
"Sadly yes. Sonny, sometimes we think you let your anger lead your head. And that can be dangerous which you know." Ray said, looking at Sonny knowing that his brother knew that he was right Sonny knew that Ray was right but to think that he would physically attack one of his brothers just because of his anger scared him. It also caused him to look more closely at himself than he had ever done before.
"I wouldn't attack Clay," Sonny stated and made sure that he put as much power behind his words than ever before. He would never hurt this brother, he couldn't. Not after all Clay had done for him. But at the same time knew that Ray didn't just mean physically.
"I don't just mean physically Sonny," Ray said sadly. He allowed his head to drop a little. He couldn't look at Sonny as he said those words, he knew that he was hurting his brother saying it but it needed saying. Sonny had hurt Clay mentally without even noticing.
"I know," Sonny muttered also dropping his head in shame. Maybe Clay would be better off without him? Maybe Bravo would be better off without him being there?
"You need to talk to him, Sonny. Clear the air." Ray said it was the only advice he had now. Whatever was going on between the two of them, they needed to be the ones that sorted it out. And they had to do it alone. Maybe not now but sooner rather than later.
"I will," Sonny promised looking up and meeting Ray's eyes. He wouldn't fail his brother, not again. He couldn't.
"Good. Because he is going to need you, Sonny. You are the one he trusts the most, so he is going to need you now more than ever." Ray said patting Sonny's shoulder knowing that Sonny meant his words. Mainly because if he didn't, he knew that there would be a lot of people to stand in front of him and tell him how stupid he was being. Repeatedly. Some angrier than others. Ray got to his feet, he had started to lose the feeling in his legs and he had started to get cold. They would have to head in soon anyway as the sun had started to set. It was getting late.
"I don't deserve it," Sonny muttered, he didn't deserve Clay's forgiveness or friendship. Not after how badly he had treated him. He had failed to be the big brother that Clay needed. He was just like every other Seal or Navy personnel that saw his last name, he had judged him without giving him a chance to explain himself or even hear him out about what he had to say. He had turned his back on him and for that, he couldn't forgive himself. And guessed Clay wouldn't either no matter how much he begged for forgiveness.
"Maybe. But only you can fix it." Ray added with a tone that told Sonny that there was a lot more to play than just their friendship. And they all knew it. The future of Bravo was at stake. If they couldn't go back to being the Navy's best Team then there was a real possibility that they would lose Clay forever. In fact, they were all at risk. Bravo could be split up because of this and then they would all be screwed. Thinking that maybe Clay would return but to a different Team snapped something in Sonny. He was not going to be the reason their family was torn apart. No. He wouldn't do that to his family. They were everything to him and what kept him going. Whatever problem he had with Clay, he was going to personally work on fixing. He couldn't lose another brother.
"I know," Sonny said turning his eyes back to the sea.
He was going to fix this. Whatever it took, he was going to fix this.