December 14, 2013, early afternoon:

For once, knocking on Oliver's door is what wakes him: not a nightmare, not his own overactive mind unable to stay still. Not even the sound of footsteps in the hall, which is both a measure of how exhausting the past two weeks have been as well as a measure of how comfortable he's grown to be in the manor.

That doesn't mean he's not instantly alert at the sound. He sits up in bed. "Come in."

Thea slips the door open, stepping inside the room with an anxious expression on her face. (Oliver revises his earlier thoughts: the fact that he hadn't woken at Thea's footsteps is probably also due to the little sound her socked feet make against the carpet.)

"What's wrong?" he finds himself asking at the look on his sister's face.

Thea grimaces. "Can we… can we talk?" she asks.

Of course. Always. Thea should know by now that there's little Oliver will ever be able to deny her. But it's the fact that she probably wants to talk about the one thing he wants her to stay away from that stays Oliver's tongue, if only for a moment.

He swings his feet over the side of the bed. "You can always talk to me, Speedy," he says calmly, sincerely. Especially now that his secret is out in the open, that Thea knows the truth of where he goes when he bails on the latest charity event or doesn't come home until five in the morning. (Or seven, like he had this morning.)

Thea still looks hesitant (she looks young, Oliver can't help but think) but she makes her way over to him, taking a seat on the bed beside him, her feet dangling, socked toes only just touching the floor.

Oliver waits for her to say what she's come to say, prepared for anything. She's already thanked him for being the Green Arrow, for stopping their mother, for rescuing Walter, for all the lives he'd saved. He doesn't think she's about to take that back. He's not quite willing to brace himself for rejection. That doesn't mean she isn't angry with him, that she isn't going to ask for some time apart. Or, with how worried she's been for his own safety, with how she hadn't wanted Roy to get involved with him for her boyfriend's safety, she might just ask him to stop.

Oliver would do almost anything for his little sister, but he can't do that.

"Roy… Roy's going to ask you to train him," she says softly.

It's easy to tell that she's not entirely pleased with the prospect. But she'd stated it as a fact, which meant that either she was unable to talk Roy out of it, or she'd accepted it. Based on the way her hands are clasped tightly on her lap, the way she isn't looking him in the eye, Oliver's inclined to believe the latter. He takes a moment to consider what she's said. Ultimately, it isn't surprising. Roy's been wanting to ask for months. Probably since the first moment Oliver had approached him while wearing the hood.

Thea's kidnapping, preceded by Tommy's and followed so closely by his own, has obviously prompted Roy to be proactive. Last week, Oliver would have based his own decision on how it would have affected Roy's relationship with Thea. This week, he has to consider the Mirakuru now running through Roy's veins. Roy doesn't know what it is, doesn't know what it could do to him. Oliver might not be the best man for the job, but he's the only one he trusts to do it properly. (He's not handing Roy over to ARGUS.)

He doesn't respond to Thea though. It's also clear that there's something else on the tip of her tongue, something else that she's having trouble saying.

Oliver waits.

After a moment, Thea's jaw clenches, then releases as she finally looks up at him. "You're going to train me too," she says firmly. Like it's a given that he'll start training Roy. Like it's a given that he'll train her too.

Oliver has to admit, he admires Thea's conviction. He's been giving the idea of her helping out "Team Arrow", as Felicity says, some thought. He'd let Tommy in the basement, after all. Tommy's run comms for him, looked things up here and there when Felicity or Digg were out. Granted, that was months ago, but how is that any different from letting Thea into the basement?

Hiding his instinctive dislike of the idea, Oliver meets Thea's gaze calmly. "Train you to fight, or train you to help?" he asks. It's not a yes, but Oliver's pretty sure that even Thea understands it's not a no. Not yet.

Thea looks away again. "Roy… are you going to tell him?"

Oliver considers his answer carefully. Tommy hadn't much liked it when he'd heard that Oliver'd never planned to tell him the truth. Of course, in the beginning, he'd never planned to tell Thea either, until he had. Roy…

"I wasn't, when you didn't know," Oliver admits, because Thea deserves honesty from him, at the very least, even if she doesn't need all the details of the violence in his soul. "Roy… He doesn't care about who's under the hood. It's the Green Arrow he supports."

"You are the Green Arrow," Thea counters quickly. She hasn't known the truth long enough to hear him speak of himself in the third person too often, Oliver supposes.

Yes, he is the Green Arrow, but Oliver Queen isn't. That's the point. Oliver Queen has nothing to do with the hooded vigilante. There'd been no point in telling Roy the truth.

Oliver acknowledges Thea's words with a slight nod.

"And now?" she asks, when he doesn't say anything further.

Now… "I told you to stay away from the Mirakuru," he says.

Thea's jaw clenches again, though whether at the reminder of that disastrous conversation or because she thinks he's avoiding the topic, Oliver can't say. He looks his sister in the eyes again. "Roy has Mirakuru running through his veins now. It's going to change him." If not mentally – though Oliver, who can barely muster up hope in the best of times, holds out none now for that – then physically at the very least.

Thea might not know, exactly, what Mirakuru is, but she knows enough. Knows that it had scared him. The truth is enough to distract her of what she's asking of him.

(Oliver… Oliver isn't displeased, with the distraction. That hadn't been the only reason he'd mentioned the Mirakuru – Thea needs to know – but it's not an unwelcome side effect.)

"What does that mean? Change him how?"

Oliver hesitates again. Thea's still learning what it means, to carry his secret.

"I could tell you," he says slowly. "Or I could tell Roy. Then, when he tells you the truth, you won't have to keep any secrets from him." She won't have to lie and pretend that she doesn't already know. Of course, such a course of action depends on Roy telling her the truth, but if there's anyone who can get the information out of him, it's Thea.

His sister looks away from him again, jaw tight, hands twisting and turning, clasping and unclasping in different configurations in her lap as she thinks things over.

"You'll train him then?" she asks tightly, turning to him once more.

"Yes."

"And me?"

It's a demand more than a question. Oliver should have known better than to believe he could deter his sister for long.

"I'm not going to train you to fight," he says blatantly, openly, blankly, emotions wiped away, nothing but cold facts in his tone. "But… if you really want to help out…" Thea's stare is unwavering. There's fire in her eyes. "Stop by the basement, next time you get a chance."

Thea nods once, slipping off the bed. "Talk to Roy," she orders. "This conversation isn't over."

Oliver knows that well enough. He watches his sister go with dread in his gut, wondering if he's made the right choice. But no, Thea's had enough people lie to her. If this is the way to keep her in his life, then that's that. He just has to make sure she stays in the basement, like Felicity and Tommy.

December 14, 2013, evening:

Felicity would honestly, genuinely be hard pressed to say whether or not things have gotten better in the lair the past few months. They're… well, they're working well together. They're splitting tasks the way they used to and grabbing breakfast together after long nights.

But Oliver's – their – new contingency plans weigh heavily in the back of her mind. She doesn't want to think about needing to use any of them, doesn't want to think about what Oliver might have gone through during his time away for him to come up with some of the worst-case scenarios he's posed to her and John over the last few nights. Doesn't want to think about losing him, and okay, yeah, she might finally be willing to admit that her feelings for Oliver are not entirely platonic. She doesn't know what they are yet, just that there's a lot about Oliver to admire, mind and body.

There are plenty of people who've caught his attention over the years – even on the island, apparently, he'd had plenty of women to choose from. (Sara, and now this mysterious Shado he'd been hallucinating.) Felicity has no idea if she's given him any reason to feel similarly about her.

Besides, it's… Well, it doesn't matter what it is. That's not the point.

The point is, things seem to have settled down, but Felicity doesn't know where she stands with Oliver anymore, not sure where she wants to stand with Oliver, and because of him she hasn't been able to stop imagining worst-case scenarios since Barry left and they'd started planning for them. (Because he's right. What would she have chosen to do if Barry hadn't been an option? It's a terrible, heart-wrenching scenario to consider, but it's one she has to consider, because with the way Oliver lives his life she has little doubt that he'll be in similar danger at some point in the future.)

Regardless, Christmas is coming up for her Christian-oriented friends (even if she's pretty sure neither Digg nor Oliver have been to a church in a long time) even if Hanukkah ended over a week ago, and Felicity is choosing to focus on the cheer the holiday brings. (Yeah, she doesn't celebrate Christmas, but she can enjoy some of the songs, can't she, the colorful lights and the "spirit of giving"?). Oliver had taken the initiative to redecorate the lair as an olive branch back in November, maybe she and Digg need to do something similar, to show that they're as committed to making things work as he is. (And Moira's trial starts just after Christmas. Oliver's going to need a little cheer, even if it doesn't seem to be affecting him.)

Resolving to talk to John about it later, Felicity decides to add in her own small touch for now. Just a little something to spruce up the basement – Oliver's thick rug under the cot is nice, but it's a dull green, not adding any color or real brightness to the room. She brings in a tiny trinket first and sets it next to her monitors one evening, wondering how long it will take the two men to notice it.

She should have known that Oliver would notice the change in his surroundings the second he reached the bottom of the stairs. He notices if she so much as nudges one of his arrows slightly out of place in its rack.

He stops and stares and blinks at it, and Felicity can just see the question on his face even if he'll never ask it.

"It's my rubber duck," she explains.

Behind Oliver, Digg seems equally as befuddled. "That's not a rubber duck," he points out.

"No, it's much cuter than a duck," Felicity cheerfully agrees. You are not going to babble. You will not babble about this. There is absolutely no reason to be nervous. "It's this thing in computer programming," she explains, contrary to her own thoughts. "When you're having trouble with a line of code, you just explain it out loud to a rubber duck – but it doesn't actually have to be a rubber duck, it's just the process of saying it out loud –"

"You did mention you were fond of pandas," Digg cuts her off kindly with a fond grin, before she can somehow slip in an innuendo somewhere, giving the small, plush animal another once-over.

Oliver doesn't comment on it, moving forward to pick up where they'd left off last night (early that morning), but then, Felicity hadn't really expected him to say anything directly. He doesn't ask her to move it, so that's good enough for her. And since he's hopefully in a good mood…

"Is Thea coming in tonight?" she asks carefully. "Or Tommy?"

Oliver stiffens but only minutely. "Thea said Roy might give the Arrow a call tonight," he says in answer. He knows as well as she does that she'd only really tacked on Tommy's name at the end to soften the question.

"She wants him to know the truth," Digg says, which, duh. Thea might not have said as much, but even Felicity can tell that's part of what's been bothering her lately.

"Are we going to tell him?" she asks frankly, because they've all agreed they're going to be honest with each other going forward, and because Oliver did tell Thea, and Roy's been working with them for months and…

"No," Oliver says. But then he turns to face them a bit better. They are all trying, Felicity remembers, and that includes Oliver.

"Not yet, at least," Oliver says. "The Mirakuru might make him volatile."

"Are you sure you're not just using that as an excuse?" Digg asks carefully.

"We can't tell everyone who wants to get involved with the Arrow," Oliver shoots back. There's irritation in his voice, but he doesn't look angry with them.

Progress? Or is Felicity just blowing his typical reaction out of proportion in her memory? Oliver isn't really the type to get angry. He is, however, the type to say it's his way or the highway, and if you don't like it you can leave. So maybe it's progress in that regard.

Oliver's told them a fair bit about the Mirakuru over the past few days, as they've worked through contingency plans, but both Felicity and Digg think there's a lot more he's not telling them. (Like Shado, Felicity thinks, for the second time that day and entirely inappropriately. What does it matter if Oliver had loved her – she'd died. Stop it you stupid brain, she chides herself, though that does little to quash her inappropriate ill feelings toward a woman she's never even met.) Still, he's told them enough that they're both more than wary about it, even if it's been a few days and Roy hasn't gone apeshit yet.

Anyway, they tend to save the team decision discussions for the end of the night anyway.

"No patrol, then?" she asks.

Oliver nods once, moving to roll out the mats.

"I can't imagine it'll take Roy long to call," Digg says plainly, moving to help Oliver.

Oh goody, Felicity gets to watch them spar. (That isn't sarcasm. Distracting though it might be, she doesn't think she'll ever tire of seeing the control they have over their bodies.)

Shadows line the edges of the alley, hiding the lines between the bricks, the trash that the wind has blown into the corners, the filth from unwashed streets. It's an unusually cold December night (unusual for northern California, at least) wind whipping between the buildings, funneled through the alleys and streets around them. Clouds overhead hide the moon and stars from view, the light pollution from the city turning them a faint, sickly yellow color instead of their usual pale gray. The streetlights aren't working either, at least, not the ones immediately nearby, but it's still just light enough to see by. The noise that can be heard is distant – this is a less well-traveled portion of the city.

In other words, aside from the winter weather, it's a typical night in the Glades. Roy shoves his hands into the pocket of his red hoodie, too distracted by the reason he's standing there to lament over the fact that he does not own any gloves (California doesn't often get cold enough for him to need them).

This is it. This is his one chance.

Technically speaking, that's not true. But, if the Green Arrow refuses him tonight, Roy's not sure he'll ever be able to ask a second time. How could he ever convince the Green Arrow to do anything the hero doesn't want to do? And how will he react if his hero tells him he's not good enough to be trained?

On the other hand, how can Roy ever give up? He's not going to stop wanting to help just because the Green Arrow tells him he's not good enough. Thea's been acting weird lately, and even if Roy's no longer sure it has anything do to with her own kidnapping, he can't squash the guilt that he hadn't been enough to protect her. He'd meant to ask the Arrow to train him all the way back then, when he'd gotten his cast off in the beginning of December, but Thea had still been distant and then he'd gotten kidnapped.

The Green Arrow had rescued him too. Roy's memory of events after the man had crashed into the room are a little fuzzy, and the place was creepy enough that he's not sure he wants to remember, but he wishes he could have helped, rather than sat helpless, strapped to a chair. Or never have gotten taken in the first place. The Arrow wouldn't have been.

That's why Roy's here tonight. That and a hundred other reasons, a hundred other motivations he's been suppressing ever since Thea had asked him to stay off the streets. He's been helping Star City's hero, and it's been wonderful, and magnificent, and life changing, and not enough. Roy needs to do more. He needs to be the kind of person who could have stopped Thea from being kidnapped. He needs to be the kind of person who is (hopefully) working on tracking down Max Stanton's killer. He needs to be the kind of man who holds scumbags – rich or poor – accountable for their actions.

And… And Roy's blood is singing. His adrenaline is up, the way it always seems to be when he walks the streets at night these days. That's not so unusual. There's always danger in the Glades, light or dark. But it feels different, somehow. He feels different. Has ever since his kidnapping. Has ever since he'd put his hand through his wall in a fit of rage yesterday when he'd heard that his neighbor Robbie (just a kid, only sixteen) had given in and joined one of the local gangs. (He doesn't blame Robbie, he blames the Glades. The people who sit by and do nothing. He blames himself, for not getting more involved in his neighbors' lives.)

Shadows creep over the alley he's in, and Roy thinks he has enhanced strength. He's not delusional enough to think he's Superman, or anything like that, but the Arrow had warned him away from something called Mirakuru, told him to keep his ears open and run the other way if he heard anything about the strange drug that made men stronger than they should have been. And then the creepy man in the mask had shoved a needle into Roy's neck.

Roy doesn't even care if this isn't Mirakuru, if the Arrow doesn't know what this is. He's going to ask the Arrow to train him regardless of whether or not maybe the wall was just made of shoddy plaster or if there's actually Mirakuru in his veins now.

So focused as he is on his own thoughts, on the reason he's standing in the darkness, on his conviction to not take no for an answer, Roy doesn't notice immediately when the Arrow actually arrives. His silhouette, as always, blends in with the darkness around him, and his movements are as silent as ever. And when he does lay eyes on the hero, he freezes.

Nerves. He shouldn't be nervous. He's spoke with the hero a hundred times by now, worked with him for months, and he knows what he wants. But he's not ready to hear the hero – his hero – say no.

"What is it?" the Green Arrow growls out, as brisk and as to the point as always through his voice modulator.

"I want you to train me," Roy blurts out, taking an eager step forward. He calms himself, breathes in deeply. "I know you said you wouldn't," he adds on. "But I can't just sit by anymore. My girlfriend was hurt last month, and I wasn't able to stop it." He doesn't mention that his girlfriend is Thea Queen. It's not exactly a secret, and the Arrow's certainly saved the Queen siblings' lives before, but he doesn't know how the hero feels about the children of Moira Queen, so he doesn't bring it up. (He's not ashamed, and he'll defend Thea to the Arrow to his last breath, but he's not about to say anything that might jeopardize his chances if he doesn't have to.)

The hero's silhouette is silent for a moment. Wind whips down the alley but the figure opposite Roy doesn't react. He doesn't know why he chose such a darkly lit alley. He wishes he could see the Arrow's expression beneath his hood.

After what feels like an eternity (but is probably only a second or two), the Arrow tilts his head ever so slightly.

"You will do exactly what I say. You will follow my lead. You will not start fights – you will not enter fights – until I say you're ready. Do you understand?"

Roy's already nodding before the Green Arrow finishes speaking. It doesn't matter if he actually thinks he's going to be able to follow the Arrow's rules, it doesn't matter if he thinks waiting until the Arrow says he's ready will try his patience. Nothing else matters besides the fact that the hero in front of him said yes.

"When do we start?" Roy asks, eager and ready, body thrumming with a different sort of energy than only a few minutes ago. He wants to hit something. Wants to prove himself to this man. Wants to learn from the best, and never let anything happen to Thea ever again.

"Right now," the Arrow responds. He charges at Roy.

December 15, 2013, afternoon:

Roy doesn't answer at Thea's first knock, or even her second, but the door opens shortly after her third. Thea'd spent all night wondering what Oliver training him had ended up entailing, wondering if he'd gotten hurt.

When she'd first discovered that her brother was the Green Arrow she'd been ecstatic and awed and so, so proud. He'd saved the city! He'd stood up to their mother and stopped her from committing mass murder. He'd saved so many lives. He'd saved Roy's life, her life, Sin's life, the life of every resident of the Glades, probably.

She's admired the Green Arrow for a long time now, and she's wanted to do something to help her people – to prove that she isn't her mother's daughter – for just about as long. Learning that it was – is – Oliver under the hood… It'd been an amazing feeling, to understand her brother better and get to thank the man who'd saved the city.

But she's been wary of the Green Arrow for longer than she's admired him, it had just taken seeing Oliver visibly injured for her to remember that. Before that, she'd been too busy thinking about what, exactly, Oliver is capable of. About what happened to him on the island and how he learned how to use a bow and arrow and how he got the horrible, terrible scars. About what persuaded him to put on a green hood and jump off rooftops.

About how he knew what their mother was planning, and how he had lived with her day in and day out – and how easily he's forgiven her – despite that knowledge. About helping him. About actually having a chance to work with the vigilante, now that she knows who he is. About Oliver's injuries. About trying to get him to tell her about his injuries, and how bad they actually are. About the fact that even though she knows the truth he still won't talk to her. About…

About a lot of things really. But not much about Roy. Not much about the fact that Roy's been working with the Green Arrow since July, feeding him information about what happens in the Glades. Her brother is the Green Arrow, and her boyfriend works with the Green Arrow. Thea can't believe she hadn't really made the connection before now. Hasn't thought about what that means.

Now that she knows Oliver is the Green Arrow, she trusts the Green Arrow more than she ever could have before. Working with the Green Arrow's dangerous, but the Green Arrow's Oliver. Surely, now that she knows the truth, he can find ways to help that are less dangerous for her and Roy both. And, surely, they can find ways to help that make it less dangerous for her brother, so that she never has to see him try and hide his injuries from her ever again. She wants to help him, that hasn't changed even with the realization that sometimes things can go wrong, but she wants to do it with Roy by her side. (And even Sin too. It doesn't feel right to leave her out of this, not after all their talk about making a difference lately, and Thea feels bad for neglecting her these past few weeks. She's just had a lot on her mind.)

(A tiny part of her wonders, after seeing Oliver limp through the door and knowing that he's still hiding how serious everything was from her, about this Mirakuru that he'll barely talk about, if she really wants to risk losing her brother and her boyfriend that way. The rest of her – the majority of her brain, her heart, her soul – cannot stop feeling such overwhelming faith in Oliver and in all that he's accomplished so far. In the fact that he saw through their mother when she didn't. Roy knowing his secret might put him in more danger, but it will also, in some ways, keep him safer. She believes that.)

It's a complete 180-degree shift from how she'd been thinking before, wanting to warn Roy away from getting too involved with the Green Arrow. She knows that. She doesn't care. The truth is, she doesn't even think the shift happened when Oliver told her the truth. She thinks maybe her brain started down that track when the Green Arrow saved Tommy's life at Laurel's bequest (though she knows now, looking back, that he would have done it anyway, had already been working on it). Or maybe it had been when the Green Arrow had saved her and Roy and Sin in that alley. Or maybe it was just when she'd decided she wanted to do something, to stop being that helpless little girl who always seems to lose what matters to her the most.

Except it's Oliver's secret. She can't tell Roy, no matter how much she wants to.

And yet her first reaction upon hearing that Roy was going to ask the Green Arrow to train him was to think 'why not? I'll ask Oliver. And if he says yes there's no reason to keep me out of it either.' It had only been her subsequent surprise at the thought that had kept her from voicing it aloud. She can trust Oliver to keep Roy out of danger while training him, can't she? But can the Green Arrow do it if Roy doesn't know he is Oliver?

It's so confusing! Thea knows, and Roy doesn't, and she wants Roy to know but she doesn't think Oliver does.

Roy wants to help and Thea wants to help and the Green Arrow will let Roy but Oliver won't let Thea.

The Green Arrow's dangerous but Oliver isn't.

What the Green Arrow does is dangerous but she trusts Oliver. He's saved the city. In more ways than one.

She's almost lost Oliver more than once since he'd come home. She can't lose Roy. (But she can't lose Oliver either.)

Thea doesn't know what to do and the problem is that that only person she can talk to about her problems is Oliver himself. She wants to talk to Roy, she wants so badly to be able to talk to him, but she never will. For Oliver. And lately, she can't stop thinking about Oliver's injuries – the ones he's probably managed to hide and the ones he hasn't. Will that be Roy, now that Oliver's training him? Is it Roy already?

But no. Roy looks exhausted and hesitant, but not injured.

"I'm not…" he starts to say.

"How'd it go?" Thea interrupts, pushing her way into his small house.

Roy doesn't answer for a moment, shutting the door behind her. She feels bad, a bit, about butting in and demanding things from him while he's so clearly exhausted, but not bad enough to stop. Roy had to have known she'd be coming to check on him. And Oliver had said he would fill her boyfriend in about the Mirakuru, so Thea can finally learn what's going on there. (What's in Roy now, because that's what Roy had been injected with, and truthfully her penetrating gaze isn't just scanning Roy for injuries, she's looking for some sort of effects of the drug too. What is Mirakuru? What will it do to her boyfriend?)

"I… good," he finally says. "I think it went good."

"Really?" Thea can't help but ask. "Because from the look on your face it was anything but."

Roy turns away, and that's not just exhaustion or reluctance on his face, that's shame.

"Roy?" Thea asks, properly worried now. "What is it? What did –" What did he do? she'd been about to ask, before she'd remembered that the Green Arrow is her brother, not just some faceless, violent stranger. But Roy doesn't know that. "What happened?" she asks, softer, when he doesn't answer immediately.

Roy looks down at his hand. "I… I need you to stay away from me, Thea."

She bristles. "What? Did, did he tell you that?" Oliver wouldn't, would he? (He doesn't want you involved in this, remember, she can't help but think. But he'd also told her to drop in on Verdant's basement whenever, that he'd tell Roy the truth so that she wouldn't have to lie to him.)

Roy quickly shakes his head. "No, no he…" but he can't seem to be able to say whatever's on his mind.

It has to be this mysterious Mirakuru. Thea can't picture any other interaction between Roy and the hero he worships – between Roy and her brother – ending like this. Getting to train with the Green Arrow wouldn't put Roy in this kind of mood.

In fits and hesitation, with much cajoling, and several times with her insisting that she doesn't care what's going on, she's not going anywhere, Thea gets Roy to tell her the truth.

Mirakuru is the drug he was injected by. It enhances a person's strength, but it also dims their self-control. The Green Arrow'd proven that last night by provoking Roy into a rage – not much, just enough for Roy's punch – aimed at the hero but which hit the wall – to shatter solid concrete. His knuckles are red, but otherwise there's no sign of what he'd done.

"I almost, I almost…" Roy still is having trouble talking, torn it seems between asking Thea to leave (as if he could ever hurt her) and wanting her to stay.

Thea can't help but swallow, knowing that wall could have been her brother's head. What had he been thinking? Last month, her concern would have only been for Roy, not some unknown vigilante in a hood, but now she finds herself split two ways. But she has to trust that Oliver knows what he's doing – she has to, otherwise she can't stand the thought of him putting his life on the line every night.

"But you didn't," she says to Roy, knowing how hard this must be for him, to realize he'd almost killed the man he's looked up to for months, the man who's given him a purpose.

Finally, finally, Roy meets her gaze. "I asked him to train me," he says, not for the first time, and there's a touch of horror in his tone. "What if, what if…"

Thea takes his hand, ignoring the way he stiffens and freezes in her grip. "He's seen this before, you said it yourself. He knows what he's doing." He has to. Thea won't accept any other alternative. "C'mon, I thought you said this guy was good. You think he can't handle it?"

Roy stiffens again, this time in indignation, just as Thea'd hoped he would. He doesn't stand slights against the Green Arrow well, but even in his mood it only takes him a second to see the grin on Thea's face and realize she'd been intentionally prodding him. The barest hint of a grin crosses his own face, but neither of them get much time to dwell on it as a knock on the door interrupts them.

"I've got it," Thea offers, but Roy shoos her back into his seat. She doesn't protest too much, because it's not just chivalry, she knows. Not all of Roy's friends and acquaintances from the Glades are people he wants her to ever meet.

It's just Sin though, and they congregate in the kitchen instead of Roy's bedroom, spread out over Roy's three rickety chairs. Sin isn't much of one for small talk, and neither is Thea when she can avoid it, so after a few greetings and some words spent checking up on each other, Thea's glad when Sin gets right to the point of her impromptu visit.

"Look, I get that you guys have a lot going on," she says frankly, actually only aware of about half of the chaos in their lives right now. "But I thought we agreed that we were going to help the Glades."

Roy and Thea exchange unhappy glances at her words.

"We will," Roy promises. "I just…" he looks over at Thea again. "I… I was, injected, with something. Mirakuru. When they grabbed me the other night. Green Arrow, he's, he's helping me with it, but…"

Just like Green Arrow is Oliver's secret, Thea figures this is Roy's. Yeah, she'd forced it out of him, but if he doesn't want to tell Sin yet, she won't force him. Not until he's come to terms with what's happening to him.

Sin's gaze moves to her next, expectant.

"We will," Thea finds herself repeating. "There's just, uh, there's a lot going on right now. Do you, do you want to talk about, um, about what we had planned?" Oliver. The kidnappers. The Mirakuru. Roy. Her mom's trial, at the end of the month. Even finals for her online classes, next week, and she can't believe she hasn't just skipped out on those entirely. She hasn't forgotten about Max, about what had started all this – about Sin and Roy charging off half-cocked without her – but everything else, all the plans they've been working on… They've taken a backseat to everything else going on with her life.

Sin shrugs, looking like she doesn't care. Thea's almost positive it's an act, but she doesn't have the energy to argue.

"Nah, just wanted to check in," Sin says. "Like I said, I know you guys have a lot going on." She stands. "Anyway, I've got some stuff going on too. I'll see you guys later."

"Sin…" Thea says, half-heartedly.

Sin just waves her weak protests aside and sees herself out.

Part of Thea wants to go after her, but Roy's still having a minor freak out, and as he's the one who was just injected with a life-altering drug, Thea's not going anywhere.

She takes his hand again.

December 17, 2013, early morning hours:

Life stays busy, even with Cyrus Gold locked behind bars. Oliver keeps his activity in the field light for a few days, taking no more than three hours or so each night for some easy patrols before he returns to the basement, or shifts into training Roy (sometimes before the night starts, sometimes in the early hours of the morning). Even during the day he's actually managing to take the time to rest and heal, keeping up to date on Queen Consolidated but letting the COO handle things for a few days with a few excuses about the flu. (The board doesn't even question it – recovering from almost dying is no cakewalk, and Oliver knows he hadn't looked great those first few days, especially after rescuing Roy.) Laurel remains the only person in Oliver's life outside of it all, unaware of what's going on, continuing her research into Dr. Anderson. Everyone else…

Well, they're right in the thick of things with Oliver, in one way or another.

"Where do I start?" Thea asks boldly, when she comes downstairs as Verdant closes. Felicity looks up from her computers, Digg from the screens he's been studying. Oliver's been watching her since she'd closed the door behind her at the top of the stairs.

He's not patrolling again tonight, so they could show her the comms system, the police radio system, the way Felicity sorts 911 calls or social media, but he supposes that can wait until it's needed. Oliver wants to keep his sister as far away from the field as he can, for as long as he can. Maybe, he hopes, a stupidly optimistic thought, she'll get bored by the tedious research that goes into being a vigilante.

Right now, Felicity is focusing on the fake Lists. The chaos of Cyrus Gold's arrest has been contained by the SCPD and the List is still in the public eye instead. Fake lists continue to appear, some signed, some not. A few more prominent corrupt businessmen have been the target of protests over the weeks, and there's even been a boycott or two of certain local businesses. Interest in the real List has started to wane – how will anyone know its authenticity, compared to the fakes? – and people are starting to question whether they should be relying on a list made by Malcolm Merlyn anyway. It seems that the creation of the fake lists has prompted people to take a closer look at who they're giving their money to.

Felicity's still noting the fake lists that appear, because if violence erupts due to one in particular Oliver wants to know who to target, but she's also still keeping tabs on the man who started it all, Nathanial Urbina. He's embraced his exposed Twitter handle, takebackStarCity, posting information about the men and women on his own list – nothing gained illegally though, now that his name's attached, just good research, just calls to action. Felicity's also keeping an eye on his new Twitter handle, heroesofSC. Urbina seems to have learned from Oliver's attempt to teach him a lesson – more than Oliver had expected him to. The new handle seems to be so far dedicated to Tweeting information about the smaller scale heroes in Star City, everyday people doing good. Urbina, it seems, genuinely cares – he hadn't made his initial post solely for views. (Likes? Follows? Retweets? Oliver's still not quite up to date on all forms of social media.)

Oliver considers sending Thea her way, but Felicity's deep in code, and Thea knows nothing about computer science.

Digg, on the other hand, is still shadowing Tommy during the days, and he's the one focusing most of his attention on their kidnappers during the nights. There haven't been many leads yet, but at least the high-profile kidnapping has more or less faded from the public eye. (Tommy's put in a bid for a building for his clinic, not too far from Verdant actually.) Right now, Digg's digging through every scrap of information Felicity's been able to dredge up about their kidnappers' lives since the miniquake, trying to find some connection, some hint of who had put them up to it.

Thea could help with that, he supposes – it's just reading background files – but he doesn't want to force her to stare at the faces of the men who'd kidnapped her for the next few hours.

Oliver, meanwhile, is looking into the Mirakuru. The company that had funded the blood drive, the man in the skull mask, Cyrus Gold… Anything he can get his hands on. Not one of the men he'd put arrows the night he'd rescued Roy had ever shown up at any hospital, so that's a dead end there, but he's got other things to go off of. The man in the skull mask had said the Mirakuru had been a gift, which means there's still someone up higher in the chain. And whether it's the man behind the mask or not, someone in the cult has to have the scientific and medical background to create the serum. Not much to go on, but it's something.

He's not about to get Thea involved with the Mirakuru though, not with everything that's going on with Roy, not after he'd told her so pointedly to stay away from it all. (Despite all their issues, despite Felicity and Digg's (mostly Felicity's) displeasure with their new contingency plans, despite Queen Consolidated still not being happy with him, despite his mother's upcoming trial, most of the tension in Oliver is internal. He doesn't know what to do about Roy. The kid's trying his hardest to keep it together, to follow along to every movement of Oliver's training, but he's not sure how long Roy will continue to do so. He can hope that what happened to Slade was an anomaly, but he knows he has to prepare for the day when Roy turns on him.)

"How much do you know about the List?"

"The List?" Thea asks. "That thing that's been all over the news, the one that…"

That their father and Malcolm Merlyn had written together. Oliver nods, and fills Thea in on everything the news hasn't said. Well, not everything. Just the relevant bits. As Thea looks down at the small notebook now in her hands, Oliver knows it's unlikely he'll ever be able to tell her how their father died. She doesn't… she doesn't need that image in her mind.

"What do you want me to do?" she finally asks, looking up. "I mean, I thought you wanted me to stay out of the, uh, the field?"

"I don't need you to go after them," Oliver clarifies. That is not happening. "But we have audio files, for some of them. You can listen to them, see if there's anything we can send to the police, or the news if it's not enough for a warrant."

"Audio files?" Thea asks with a frown. "You mean you bugged them? Isn't that illegal?"

Oliver doesn't really think she's reluctant, just asking for clarification, but he takes the opening regardless. "If you don't want to be a part of this –"

"No. I do. Where are the files?"

Well, it was worth a try. Oliver gets her set up at the computer, and for the next few hours there are four of them working in the basement instead of three.

Quite honestly, everything with Thea is going so much better than Oliver had hoped for, once he'd heard the conviction in her voice. He can see her getting impatient with the audio files, probably hoping for something that feels more like she's making a difference, but she doesn't once complain. Instead she only glances up a few times, sees the three of them still hard at work, and doubles down again. She wants to do more, he knows, and boring research isn't enough to get her to leave, but she's safe, down here in the basement, and she's not asking for more just yet.

Granted, Oliver had given up a little more than he'd wanted to, and he knows she's still processing everything she's learned about the Green Arrow, and he knows she's distracted by Moira's upcoming trial, but… But he can live with their decision. She'll help, when she wants to, but only in the foundry basement, only after she's been trained by Felicity and Digg, only where Oliver can keep her safe and out of harm's way. She wants him to tell Roy, of course, and even Felicity and Digg have considered it, but Oliver's managed to put off that discussion too, for the time being.

For now, for the night, Oliver watches her work in between his own task until Tommy's appearance at the top of the stairs interrupts his thought process. Five people in the basement now, he can't help but think as Tommy joins them. He's pretty sure that's a record.

Tommy… Lately, Tommy's seemed remarkably okay with Oliver's activities. He's staying out of things, more or less, but whenever Oliver says something (something seemingly benign to anyone who doesn't know the truth, but which gives a hint of his vigilante status to those who do know) Tommy takes the news calmly. Oliver can't help but think of the strength of conviction in hallucination-Tommy's voice every time he sees his best friend, but nothing he sees in person causes him to doubt that Tommy would actually agree with the fake version of him Oliver's mind had created in the heat of battle.

Tommy exchanges greetings with the others, even ribbing Thea gently a bit, before he steps up to Oliver's side.

"Hey, can I talk to you real quick?" he asks quietly. "Alone?"

Oliver leads Tommy into the furthest corner. Digg and Felicity and Thea notice, because they'd have to be blind not to, but even though Felicity frowns at the sight, the three of them keep working.

"The training's not just for Thea," Oliver says, before Tommy can say anything. "I know you said you don't want to get too involved, and I'm not asking you to, but if you ever want to learn more…"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," Tommy says, then immediately grimaces. "Sort of. Not really. I mean, it's related, but…"

Oliver waits.

"Look, Digg and Felicity, they've been working with you for a while. I get it. I heard the stories of how they got involved. It was bring them in or someone would probably die." From the way Tommy's eyes glance up and down Oliver's body, Tommy knows perfectly well that one of those dead bodies would have been Oliver's. "And you told me when my dad, when Malcolm –" Tommy swallows and ignores his own words. "And Thea, I get that too. You guys were in danger. But…"

Oliver waits, but Tommy's hesitation this time lingers a bit longer.

"But what?" he prompts.

"If Thea knows, why can't Laurel?" Tommy asks, then barrels over Oliver's immediate response as he keeps talking. "She's been involved from the beginning. She's been helping since the beginning. There's no reason to keep her in the dark anymore."

There are a lot of reasons, actually. Not the least of which is that Thea's reaction had gone remarkably well – miraculously, almost. Oliver can't count on that again. Tommy had hated him, in the beginning. Oliver doesn't understand why he still doesn't. (Villain or not, Oliver had killed Tommy's father. He's not sure how his friend continues to look past that.) Laurel…

Yes, Laurel's been involved with the Green Arrow – the Arrow, the Hood, the Vigilante – since the beginning. Yes, she still works with him. But Oliver thinks he knows Laurel's feelings about his alter ego better than Tommy does. Laurel respects the Green Arrow's end goal. She's a fan of the impact he's had on the Glades, of the number of rich scum he's taken down a peg, of the lives he's saved.

She doesn't care for his methods. She doesn't think much of who the Green Arrow is as a man. She's seen him in action – in the thick of things – more than anyone who knows the truth, except perhaps Digg. She'll trust the Green Arrow to go after the bad guys, but she doesn't trust him, not really. To her, he's just a loaded gun who happens to be pointed in the right direction, and she has a healthy wariness of how easily she thinks his aim might change.

She's not wrong. Oliver uses his hood to give voice to his monster's needs. And Laurel's seen him almost loose it, way back after he'd first gotten home, when rescuing her from that prison had brought up bad memories. He'd barely held himself back rescuing Tommy, rescuing Thea. Even rescuing Roy, he'd shown little mercy.

Laurel, Oliver figures, sees the monster better than anyone else.

He doesn't want her to see that monster in Oliver Queen's eyes as well. (She's still upset with him, he knows, for the distance he'd kept between him and Tommy after Tommy's kidnapping. What would she think of him if she knew he'd killed Tommy's father?)

That's the real crux of why he doesn't want to tell her the truth. He can come up with a hundred other reasons – it does keep her safer, and it would be easier to keep his promise to Sara, and he'd never meant to come home and involve everyone he loved in his crusade – but his true motive is selfish.

It's selfish, and wrong, and unfair, to Laurel and to Tommy.

Tommy's right. He'd told Thea. Why not Laurel?

"I'm not… I know this is a big deal," Tommy speaks before Oliver can respond. "I know it's asking a lot – I know…" He swallows again, looking unhappy. "I know you never even planned to tell me the truth. But… You told Thea. I'm not, I'm not asking you to go and tell her tonight, alright? There's Christmas, and your mom, and… I just… I just want you to think about it."

Tommy's not pushing. After everything Oliver's put him through, after all the ups and downs of their relationship, Tommy seems to have found his equilibrium. He hasn't pushed Oliver in a while. Hasn't argued. Hasn't shown anything but support, lately. And now he's asking Oliver for something, and he's giving Oliver time to think about it.

Oliver's half temped to ask, "And if I say no?" just to see Tommy's reaction, just to hear how his best friend might respond. But even though his instinctual answer is no, he doesn't say it. Because Tommy's right. Because Laurel deserves to know. Because he knows he's being selfish.

He's just not sure if those three factors are enough to risk revealing his secret to her.

"I'll consider it," he agrees, aware there's a gruffness to his tone. (Tommy's being so accommodating, and still Oliver can't hold back his own emotions.)

Tommy raises a hand. "May I?"

(Something in Oliver's heart flutters painfully. Something small and surprised and not entirely unpleasant. This is not the first time Tommy has asked for permission to touch him first. He's not sure he understands it – he doesn't need it, not really – but… But he hasn't asked Tommy to stop. Hasn't told him it's unnecessary.)

Oliver nods once and Tommy claps him on the shoulder with a small grin.

"Thanks man. I know it's asking a lot," he repeats. "Take your time. Just not too much time, y'know?"

Oliver manages a grin in response, nodding again, this time softer, in agreement. He wants to say thank you in return, but he can't even articulate what for in his own mind, so he says nothing, just bids Tommy farewell and watches him leave.

"What was that all about?" Digg asks as Oliver wanders back to his partners, his sister. (Thea's still got her headphones on though; she's not listening.)

"He wants to tell Laurel the truth," Oliver admits. It's not exactly a secret, he figures, just something that… The gears in Oliver's brain click into place. Tommy hadn't asked for privacy for himself. He'd known what he'd wanted to ask for. He'd asked for privacy for Oliver, so that Oliver could manage his own reaction. (So that Oliver, potentially, could have said no, without having to justify his decision to Digg and Felicity.)

Tommy'd been giving him the opportunity to keep his request a secret, if Oliver had wanted to. He doesn't – he and Digg and Felicity are working on no secrets between the three of them, best they can without digging too much into Oliver's past – but Tommy'd given him the chance anyway. That means something too.

"Are we going to?" Felicity asks.

Oliver can say no. This is his team. His crusade. His mission. And Laurel is his friend, not Digg's or Felicity's. But… "I told him we'd think about it," he replies.

He's one-hundred percent certain that both of his partners catch his emphasis on we.

December 17, 2013, evening:

A week after Barry Allen leaves Star City, a package arrives, from him, to Oliver. Well, he sent it to Felicity's home address, and Oliver appreciates that, appreciates the attempt at secrecy, but it's for the Arrow regardless.

"Barry sent something for you," she says softly, holding out a small box when he gets to the basement that night.

Oliver doesn't have a clue what sort of gift Barry Allen would get for him. The man had clearly been enamored with the prospect of meeting a vigilante, Oliver or not – there are a hundred different things that could be in the box, some trinket that Allen thinks expresses his gratitude.

"I didn't open it," Felicity says. "It came in a larger box, with a note." She hands him the note, just a short thing on a small scrap of paper. For Oliver.

Oliver. Not Green Arrow. An indication of whatever's in the box, or just another person who can't see the distinction between Oliver's two selves?

He takes the box gingerly, but while there's no way to guarantee it's from Allen, he doesn't truly believe there's any danger in opening it. The lid slips off easily. For a moment, Oliver can only stare.

Allen – Barry – had been excitable and enthusiastic and… and more complicated, really, than Oliver had been giving him credit for. Not just a fanboy. A dedicated scientist who'd truly appreciated the lives that Oliver has saved. It hadn't just been obsession that had driven his interactions with Oliver, not just admiration, but genuine respect. And truthfully, Oliver respects that Barry had stood up to him. That he'd helped even in the face of Oliver's anger. That he's still helping, halfway around the country in Central City.

"What is it?" Digg asks from off to the side.

In answer, Oliver takes the small mask out of the box. It's a deep green, the same color as the leather of his suit. It's flexible too, with a strap that seems as though it would be tight enough to keep the mask on his face. This isn't just…

Barry…

Oliver takes a deep breath. This is… it's approval. It's recognition. This is a stranger from another city saying I know you're a hero; I want to help you be the best you can be.

Barry made him a mask, without being asked, without being prompted. This isn't a thank you, Oliver knows. Or, it is, but it's so much more than that too.

It shouldn't matter, as much as it does. He still doesn't know Allen. But this, he thinks, tells him all he needs to know about the other man.

You're not a hero, he can still hear Slade saying, even if his hallucinations are gone. Put down your bow, Shado echoes.

Keep going, Barry seems to say in contrast. You're doing the right thing.

"Try it on," Felicity says, a little breathless.

Oliver doesn't slip it over his head just yet. He knows what she means. He grabs the suit first, and moves to change. This time, he leaves the grease paint on its shelf.

"How do I look?" he asks, as he emerges back into the basement. He doesn't need to ask. He shouldn't need to ask. It doesn't matter what he looks like. He asks anyway.

"Like a hero," Felicity says.

You're not a hero, kid, Slade's voice echoes in his mind again, and maybe he still agrees with that. Maybe he still thinks there's a darkness inside him that'll never go away.

But Barry thinks he's a hero. Felicity thinks he looks the part. Roy looks up to him. Thea thanked him. Tommy has done nothing but show his support for him, these past few weeks. Even Lance has circumvented his normal way of doing things in deference to the Green Arrow.

Maybe the Green Arrow isn't the right way to hide Oliver's monster anymore. Maybe that's not the right name for this thing he becomes, under Yao Fei's hood. The darkness inside him will never truly be gone, but he can do better, ask for more from himself. Become the hero that everyone else seems to think he already is. It might take him years, but for the first time, Oliver thinks he can get there.

AN: Thanks for reading! Chapter 30: Hit Where it Hurts, should be posted in about a week, on Dec. 20th, and that chapter will take us into early January.