"Are you certain that we couldn't just take the Hogwarts Express?" I asked hesitantly, frowning, as we strolled down the stone path towards Hogsmeade. "From London, we could go by the Knight Bus. Or maybe..."

"No," answered Snape dryly, looking grim as he glanced at me. "I don't want to cram in public transport. Since my graduation, I have never taken a train, and I've never gone by the Knight Bus, and I would prefer it to stay like that."

The tone of his voice surprised me. I looked at him, but lowered my eyes right after. On the horizon loomed the buildings of Hogsmeade, the closest spot for Apparition. I dragged my trunk with a rather long face, because I extremely disliked Apparition; I really would rather like to take a train or bus...

However, he insisted on going to Hogsmeade and Apparate immediately in the park close to his home. I was a little worried about that, because I knew perfectly that the area was inhabited by Muggles. What if one of them spotted us? On the other hand, I was aware of the fact that Snape was very careful and he would never allow himself to violate the secret about the wizarding world.

"Would you really rather like to waste a whole day among the people you don't know? Out of whom everyone could turn out to be a Death Eater?" growled the man. He had taken my hand when we had still been in the castle, and he still held it. "No way, Shirley. Apparition is much faster and safer than any other mode of transport.

It would be hard to argue – of course, skipping the fact that one could get splinched. I dared not say it out loud, though, besides, I did not think I had to, since Snape understood me better and better, even when I used no words.

"We'll use Side-Along Apparition," he explained. "You just need to hold me tight, and I will lead you."

No longer did I try to protest, since I knew well that no matter how much energy I would put into that, I would not be able to convince Snape to change his mind. The worst about that was the fact that Snape could find arguments I could not refute, even if I really tried.

Finally, we got to Hogsmeade, and I felt some funny sensation in my stomach; it had nothing to do with the Apparition – it was all about where I was about to Apparate and spend the next few days.

"Hold your trunk tight," said Snape quietly, and I could have sworn that I heard some kind of fascination in his voice. Was he honestly so happy about me living with him for several days?

If he really needed so little to be happy, I could give him at least that. I owed him so much more, so how could I complain in a situation like that? He did that all especially for me, but he needed nothing more but my visit to smile. It was just my cowardice that stopped me.

Because, unfortunately, that was the truth: I was scared. I was scared of what was between us, between Severus and me. I was afraid of what could develop from our relationship. I was afraid of how the society would accept it – and if we could bear it. If I only could take that risk, maybe I would have already made all of his dreams come true.

Snape took my hand into a firm grasp and began to count down. On "three" we both turned at our spots, and I felt some invisible power pressing us into a tunnel that took my breath away. It was not the first time I had Apparated, so I knew that it would only take a while – however, the first time I had tried that, I had really started panicking.

This time, though, only a couple of seconds had passed before I felt my legs buckle under my weight as my feet hit the ground. Once again I could breathe in fresh air. Slowly, I opened my eyes.

That sight was a great surprise to me. We had landed in an overgrown park, nearby some unkempt, dirty alleyway, on both sides of which stood rows of doomed, brick houses. Despite the wonderful weather, everything seemed to be dark there, as though dusty. That was not what I had imagned the town in which Snape lived to look like.

Tardily, I turned my head to glance at the man who still stood motionlessly by my side. His hand almost clutched mine.

"I... I know that it is not your dream place for holidays," he said quietly, as though ashamedly, which did not suit the Snape I had always known at all. "But you will see that it's not as bad as it would look like."

I could not stop my thoughts from flowing back to Hogwarts, which was now surrounded by the green. Along the paths and on the grounds grew fragrant flowers. That picture was completely incomparable to what I could see right now – and there was no doubt about which scenery would seem to be better for spending holidays.

However, I forced myself to bite my tongue. It was enough for me to hear that strange tone in Snape's tone; I did not want to bother him further.

"Come this way," added Severus after a while, leading me towards a rather narrow pavement. The tiles there were broken and uneven, so we needed to be careful not to twist our ankles. Our trunks rattled quietly as we headed towards the closest crossroad, if we could actually call that place like that. It was nothing but a little passage between two buildings – if I were not led there, I probably would not have noticed it by myself.

I wondered if anything good could happen to me in a place like that. I was used to the towns looking slightly different – maybe not beautiful, but at least well-kept. Less gloomy.

Yet that place looked like no-one lived in there – in some windows one could notice planks. A couple of them were broken. Destroyed street lights probably were never repaired, and the plate with the name of the street was so rusty that I could not read the words. Only after a while I heard a quiet noise of some television coming from one of the buildings, and a quite coarse voice of some man. So the area was in fact inhabited...

My hopes for the Easter break began to fade away. I did not know what I had expected, but I could not expect that. Grime, terrifying poverty, loneliness which was way too obvious.

Finally, we reached one of the houses, which was in no way different from the other ones. Snape reached for his wand and aimed at the lock. A soft light flashed, and the door opened in front of us. Severus gestured for me to enter – and so I did.

I was surprised by the fact that in comparison to the rest of the town, the house seemed to be pedantically clean, even though it was far from that. Moreover, the items inside did not match to such an extent that I was honestly shocked to notice that the overall effect was quite good: armchairs and a sunken couch stood next to a rickety table. Over our heads hung an old chandelier, on which the candles had just been lit. On the scrubbed floor lay an ancient, faded carpet.

However, it was not what fascinated me the most. In that living room just one thing pointed to the fact that it was Snape's house, and it was: books. Hundreds, maybe thousands of books stacked on tall bookcases, standing by the walls.

Nothing of that could be pretty. And yet, there was some weird charm about it, something that made me not want to turn back and run away.

"Welcome to my home, Shirley," Snape finally spoke up as he closed the door behind us and giving the room an almost hateful look. One, short flick of his wands made my trunk disappear, perhaps landing in the guest room. "Don't stand in the entranc, there's draft in there. Better come with me, I'll show you to your room."

Only then did it strike me: it would seem that the room had no way out. Now, that the exterior door had closed behind us, I would not be able to find even it: in the place where it had been before a moment, now stood rows of leather-covered books, which seemed to cover the walls like a peculiar tapestry.

And yet, when Snape headed to the right, one of the cupboards opened right in front of him, showing a secret passage. The corridor was at the beginning completely dark, but just one step was needed for the candles attached to the walls to get lit, casting a rather dim light onto faded, flowery wallpapers and the carpet on the floor.

I knew it would sound cruel, but Snape, marching in front of me in his worn-out black robe, seemed to somehow match the whole surrounding. On the other hand, he did not match it at all: how could a man as elegant as Severus Snape live in a place like that? It was simply unconceivable.

At last, we left the narrow corridor. The other one was much broader, but just as grim. Along the walls, I could spot a couple of doors, which made me certain that from the outside that house seemed to be much smaller than it really was. I only wondered if it was Severus's contribution, or someone else had been tinkering with the building before him. The latter seemed to be more probable, since Snape did not need a large house. Frankly speaking, a big, empty house would only make him even more disheartened.

We turned to the right, still in complete silence. Sometimes we passed by some old picture frames, but I could not notice any people in them; then even those inhabitants had left the house. I was not surprised at all.

Finally, Snape opened the last door on the left, letting me inside. The change was so huge that I was left speechless.

That room, unlike the rest of the house, was really bright. Through a high window pale sunlight poured in. The walls painted yellow were so clean that I would bet that someonw had taken care of that place quite recently. On the floor lay a tiny, fluffy rug. In the corner, in turn, stood a large four-poster bed, a bit similar to the one I remembered from my dormitory in Ravenclaw.

"I hope that... that you like it," said Snape, then he cleared his throat. It was obvious he felt quite embarrassed. No wonder; I did not know what I felt, either. "You will be living here for the next week."

Still in silence, I looked towards the door, then once again at the room. Right next to the bed I could notice my trunk, now unpacking lazily. Was it possible that the door that led us to that place were no door but some kind of portal, a secret passage to a different world...?

"Oh God..." I whispered before I glanced at Snape. I hoped that I did not look like I was too frightened, even though at that moment what I felt was in some weird way similar to fear, though much more pleasant.

"Of course, you may come here more often, if you like it," he added after a moment, shrugging a bit. "You're always welcome here."

There was no doubt that the room had been prepared especially for me. That as soon as Snape had come up with the idea of bringing me there, he had decorated it to make me feel a bit more comfortable in that dark, almost desolated house.

"If you want, I can show you around," he offered, reaching his hand out to me, and I put mine on his without a second thought.

He led me through the corridors to show me different places: a library, a dining room, even his study. All of them looked the same: neglected and giving the impression of being completely abandoned.

"Does this place not depress you?" I asked hesitantly as we stood in the middle of his study. It was a dark room where the main role was played by a heavy, oaken desk, probably several hundred years old. On its top lay an overturned photo frame. The heavy curtains over the high window behind the desk were closed and not much sunlight could get through them. Yet even there the candles had been lit as soon as we had opened the door.

"This place? Yes," answered Snape, and I heard a weird hint of sadness in his voice. "It always has. I have never got back willingly, I still don't. Maybe that's why I don't even feel it's necessary to keep it maintained."

"It could be beautiful," I noticed quietly, making a few steps away from him and looking around. In the picture frame a silver-haired wizard napped, snoring quietly. His black hat almost fell off his head.

"Do you think so?" As Snape asked that question, he seemed to be astonished that someone could actually believe that. "I have never thought about that."

Although I knew well that I should not be doing that, I approached the window and opened the curtains, letting the light invade the interior. The room did not become suddenly pretty because of that, but it was definitely more bearable. I could not understand how one could work in such darkness.

"Just a few changes would be enough... and you'd need lots of time," I answered, getting close to the desk to put the photo frame up properly. Before I did that, though, Severus caught my hand, not letting me touch that item.

"You could change everything here," he said quietly, making my heart beat faster. I knew I was trapped. That was exactly why I did not want to be alone with him, with nowhere to run. "Make this place your home... change it from an old nightmare into a beautiful dream."

I blushed. Once again Snape dared raise the topic, even though before I would have sworn he had been avoiding it. Or maybe he had been avoiding it because he had been afraid I would run away. Right now, though, I had nowhere to hide, and he could finally talk to me.

"Severus," I replied in a whisper. "You know just as well as I do that it's..."

"...impossible? No, Shirley, this is what you say, and fear speaks right through you. Fear and cowardice." He looked at me so that I shivered. It was his sinister glare which I had been avoiding ever since my school days. "I belive it is plausible, if you only wanted to take that risk."

I sighed quietly.

"What risk?" I asked, frowning. "That I would live with you in an abandoned town?"

Snape's face for a moment seemed to be blank, after that, a nasty grimace appeared on it. There was no doubt that I had made a mistake saying those words out loud. However, I did not want to deceive him. It was not the place where I would like to spend even a day, if I only had a choice.

"It's not so bad in here," he answered stiffly.

"So why do you hate this place?" I snapped before I could stop myself.

"What am I supposed to get back to?" he growled, letting go of my hand. "To these empty, cold walls? To the books? Wine? No, Shirley. Nothing and no-one awaits me here. You're the only one... the only one who could change everything. Make me come back home happily. Change the cold into warmth."

"I don't want to be trapped in a cage," I answered, folding my arms.

"No-one would ever trap you!" His voice echoed across the walls. "I would find a way... I would make you happy. I could see that on your face... The room you'll be living in now was made for you. You felt good in it. If... if we decorated the whole house so that you would like it...

I was afraid of how far into the future he had already gone. What else had he planned for us?

"Sometimes you are happy when you are with me," he added quietly, appraoching me and taking my face in his hads. Light reflected from his pale face, exposing his old scars. "If you deny it, you'll lie."

I did not answer, knowing he was right. My heart hammered in my chest like crazy; my lips were slightly parted as I gasped for breath.

"Severus, you demand too much of me," I whispered, feeling my lips tremble.

"I saved your life, Shirley. I believe it's a fair trade... life for life."

Softly, I put my hands on his; they seemed to be even colder now than ever. At first, I wanted to take them of my face, but I resigned and ended up caressing them gently with my thumbs.

"You'd be the lady of the house, Shirley... think of it," he said feverishly. "I wouldn't keep you here all the time. You'd work, just like you do now, we'd get back here only for the holidays. Together. We'd get back home. What about this sentence sounds so bad that you're so afraid of it?"

"I don't want to be the lady of the house, Severus. I don't want to be Mrs Snape," I answered desperately.

The worst about it, though, was that my voice did not sound convincing at all... and I was not sure why. Was it because I did not want to hurt him and for a moment I actually hesitated? Or maybe because deep in my heart I did not feel such aversion to that idea?

Snape's face hardened as he looked me in the eye.

"I can stand a coward, but not a liar, Shirley," he answered so quietly that I actually had to read those words from his lips.

"I'm not lying..."

"There's only one way to find out." Snape moved back a bit, but he still stared at me seriously. "Are you ready to risk everything to get to know the truth?"