"June, wait-" Kuwabara called after June as she turned on her heel and left. Walking quickly, whatever damage she'd taken to her ankle had clearly healed.
"Need to change," she said over her shoulder, "you should too." She shut him out with a swift closure of her door.
Kuwabara stood in the hall, staring at the slab of wood that held as much expression as the back of June's head. He thought about yelling through the door, he thought about demanding she just talk to him, because he couldn't understand how everything had gone so wrong so quickly.
Kuwabara stood in the hall, staring at June's closed door, and he did nothing. He took a deep breath, held it, and tried not to audibly sigh as he released it. "I'll be back in five minutes, June," he said softly.
On his search for a bag of clothes he was certain he'd left around somewhere, the open door of the back room called his name, freezing his footsteps as he passed. Too tempting, the open door showed him the pile of books and scrolls, filled cover to cover with the legacy of the Tkadlec Line.
There might still be time, he thought, pausing in the doorway. Maggie and Kurama didn't finish reading, so there might still be a way. In a frenzy of furious energy, Kuwabara dug through the tall pile of scrolls, glancing at titles and skimming content as the buzzing in his head continued to distract him.
The sheer volume of the piles and stacks seemed to multiply as he searched, teasing him with tiny scrollwork that rattled off names and dates and insignificant trivia but nothing, nothing, that he could use to save June.
He pushed back from the table and tilted his head back to stare up at the mildly water-stained ceiling, trying to keep water from welling up in his eyes.
"Y' seem defeated."
Kuwabara started, finding Woden standing in the door. The ancient demon did not smile with the usual twitch of his thick moustache but seemed to appreciate the sober nature of the day.
Kuwabara spread an arm to wave at the useless piles of carefully cataloged information. "I don't know where to start. I know there's gotta be an answer here - something that'll save her, but I don't know where to start, and I'm out of time." A thought occurred to him, and he said, "You met Tkadlecs before, right?"
"Aye, I did." The large man sidled over to the table and peered down at the Line. "This'un: Ana." He tapped a Tkadlec, one thousand one hundred and fifty years before June. "And her; Karina." Two thousand, three hundred and seventy years before June. "And Doubravka; she was my favorite." The most ancient, Kuwabara could not read the date of her ancient birth for the faint color of the ink. "She found us; me 'n…" the ancient demon's face fell. "Me 'n a friend."
"Why was she looking for you?" Kuwabara asked.
"Wanted t' learn warding; my friend taught it sometimes. Makes sense, now I think 'f it. Would have been a good way to keep a Spider away," Woden added thoughtfully.
"She couldn't learn?" he asked, hands stopping mid-search.
The ancient demon shook his head like a frustrated parent looking at spilled juice on the carpet.
"They couldn't do it without the shuttle. She tried and tried, but all that power is bound up in that thing. My friend, she thought maybe if more than a single weaver held the shuttle, it might amplify the strength of it, but that was against their rules. Weavers had so many rules."
"There must be something - something that June's grandmother kept from her - that we can use to fix this!" Kuwabara cried furiously, grabbing a random book and shaking it for emphasis. "What good is all of this recordkeeping if they didn't figure out how to keep them alive?"
Woden took the book from Kuwabara's grip, thumbing idly through it. "Y' must be able to feel the way she's all empty of soul," the old demon raised an eyebrow. "I can smell it. Verdandi senses it too. Ye've got to understand," the demon sighed, "there is nothing here that can change the way our world eats kindness alive."Woden closed the book. "Thus goes a Weaver."
"Her name is June, and she's not just a weaver. She cheats at arcade games and makes great food and tells cool stories from a horrible time in her life. She's funny and kind and…" his voice cracked, on the verge of breaking, "...and beautiful, and I won't just sit back and watch her die!"
Woden's gaze gave no warm sympathy. "If ye can't stand to watch her die, ye should have left a long time ago."
"Stop being cruel," came a soft voice from the door. "Is unnecessary."
The argument stalled, Woden's harsh dismissal tamed by the call of the Weaver he deferred to reverently even as he declared her all but lost. Woden dipped his head respectfully. "As ye say, Tkadlec."
June tipped her head to the door. "Give us minute."
Woden gave another half-bow, excusing himself. "O' course. I'll tell 'em to wait."
She smiled, visibly uncomfortable with the action. "Thank you. Close door, please." Woden complied, and they were alone.
June walked slowly through the room, eyes moving across the haphazard collection of scrolls and books. Her hand drifted over them but did not touch. She let out a worn sigh and pushed back a stray curl from her face. The delicate hairstyle didn't well-match the best battle outfit she'd managed to arrange; jeans, sneakers, a long-sleeved shirt with reinforced seams.
Kuwabara didn't know what to say to June. Give me more time, he pleaded with his eyes. I can save you if you just give me more time.
Almost as if she could hear his thoughts, June turned her attention to Kuwabara, a strained smile not reaching her eyes. "Five minutes, you said? Has been much longer than five."
I turned my attention to him in small steps, momentarily afraid to let in that warmth I knew he would bring me; it was easier not to be afraid if I couldn't feel anything at all. But as I looked at him, standing in the middle of the room with his hands dangling loosely at his sides like he didn't know where else to put them and just a devastatingly concerned look on his face, I was grateful for him.
"Kazuma," I said, but snapped my mouth shut, not trusting my words. I wanted to say I wished things were different, that I could change my choices, but it wasn't true.
Aria had once said that she wouldn't wish our situation on anyone else, and I agreed. I wouldn't want anyone else to be in my position; I'd suffered, but it hadn't been without reason. I'd lost everything I'd ever loved or wanted to keep, but I was still here. Well, I thought still somewhat bitterly, for now.
My heart twisted and ached, the little parts of it that remained. I could feel the tiny remnants of my soul on the inside of my heart; fluttering in the cold, beckoning wind of death. I felt Blue's sadness as a smooth, silvery chill dancing across my skin, like regretful apologies.
I knew I had one good fight left in me and I intended to make it count. The end was rising up to meet me.
"Sit," I asked him, gesturing to the nearest chair.
He sat without taking his eyes off me. I couldn't read the gaze; confused, hurt, or concerned? He was all tense jaw and rigid shoulders.
"There is a good chance fixing barrier will kill me," I said plainly. I held up my hand to stop him from asking a question or protesting. "Let me explain, please."
He had opened his mouth but closed it again. He nodded for me to continue, and I did. "The shuttle uses my soul as anchor to use power, and my soul has run empty. There is no way to fill it again. I can fix the barrier, though. If I wait, or am not brave enough to try, then the barrier will fall. I know this."
"When I end up on my own, I learned not to get attached. To things, to places, and... to people. I knew that it would always hurt, when it ended, because I would not be able to… to hide it." I struggled to find the right words. "Hurts me, but them; maybe more? Not a nice thing to share."
"You didn't want to make anyone watch you suffer," Kazuma said softly.
"Yes," I agreed. "Better to be alone. But-" I saw him start to say it, "now, I know, is easy to be afraid when you are alone. And I am not alone here." I offered him my strongest smile, and the corners of his mouth twitched like he wanted to smile as well but maybe it hurt too much. It must have felt like such a cruel twist of irony for him; Yukina had left him for this very reason, I cannot bear to watch you die.
I didn't know it would hurt so badly to see him hurt. I had to turn away - to look at the wall and wait for my eyes to stop stinging. I had chosen to be alone for so long for this exact reason. "I was alone when I arrive at the Temple, but not for long. There was wonderful, kind heart who would not let me be invisible, and he opened the door to let this be my home."
"I do not worry I will lose myself again." My heart beat in my chest like a frightened bird. My mortality did not frighten me as much as my inability to find the right words in that moment so I spoke slowly, choosing my words carefully. "This place is my home, and I will always find a way back."
I heard him stand from the chair I'd insisted he take, like a doctor preparing to give bad news, and he retraced my motions over and around the useless collection of knowledge on the table. Heat pressed behind my eyes, prickling and tickling and threatening to betray me.
I was afraid, of course. Not of losing myself; I'd told the truth. If I survived, I was certain I'd be able to get back to the Temple one way or another. I was afraid of losing… everything. After having been alone for so long, with nothing to call my own, I didn't want to let go of what I'd been given. No; what I'd earned.
Hands chased along the outside of my throat, gathering loose curls as he started to braid. "Can't save the world if you can't see anything, Kotonok," Kazuma said softly. "This'll just get everywhere."
Deep relief shook me, letting loose a tremble in my hands. "I haven't given up, Voinichok. If I have enough strength to do this and live on after, I will. I still want the festivals, and the fireworks, and-" my voice failed me for a moment.
I turned to catch his hand, interrupting the braiding. "I am so grateful for you, Kazuma. I am grateful for the warmth and kindness of your heart. My weaving," I laced my fingers in his carefully, wrapping the pads of my fingers over the back of his hand, "and yours. Yours with mine made the world so much less empty and sad."
Kazuma was trying to say something with his eyes. Something that looked like sadness, but acceptance. Something that looked like a smile but stung like tears.
He let go of the weaving of hands we had made, needing instead to bring his hand to my face; touching my cheek so gently before threading his fingers through my hair at the back of my head and ruining the braid he'd made. The warmth of it felt like comets dancing along my skin. Warm, like standing in the sun, like the best day of summer spent doing nothing at all, like burying yourself in blankets fresh from the dryer.
And he kissed me, and he tasted like the orange soda he'd gotten from the vending machine while we played our arcade games. Kazuma's other hand, the one not trapped in a weaving of fingers with mine, came to rest very lightly at my waist, pleading with a light pull to draw only inches closer.
Warm, like getting a letter from home, like a soft kitten at your side, like a look from across the room that means everything to you.
"Are we getting a move on or what?" Yusuke's irritated voice echoed down the hall, jarring us back to reality. I stepped back, sucking in the air I hadn't known I needed, just like I hadn't known I needed Kazuma to kiss me.
Barely a breath across from me, Kazuma covered his mouth with a hand, looking moderately horrified and flushed with a deep blush. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, I-"
I grabbed him by the tie looped loosely around his neck so there could be no doubt in his mind, kissing him with all my heart so he would know I felt the same. I pulled back a few moments after I should have, before the warmth of him sank me to the bottom of a sun-warmed sea and I lost the strength to do what would be necessary. "I will come back, I promise."
Face pink with a lingering blush, he processed my vow slowly, and then grew serious. "Uh-uh, no way; I said I wasn't gonna let you do anything like this again without me, and I meant it." He squared up, giving me a very serious look. "I know it'll be hard for everyone, but Aria said she would take care of it. So don't fight with me about it; I'm coming with you."
I could see he meant it. No more would he be satisfied being only the guardian of the Temple; watching over Genkai and Yukiko and waving a solemn goodbye, unsure of who or what might return. Just as I was done running, he was done being left behind.
I smiled slowly, letting the warmth I felt while kissing him fill my chest again. "Okay," I agreed.
Yusuke opened the door, sticking his head into the room. "Hey, you two gone deaf or something? We gotta get a move on."
"Yes, yes," I said, "got distracted, we are going."
Yusuke took in Kazuma's flushed face and loose tie, and a sly smile crept across his face. "Kuwabara, you sly dog," he drawled as I pushed past him into the hall, "gettin' randy before a fight? I knew you had it in you!"
Kazuma spluttered, denying furiously as Yusuke laughed heartily. The humor of it followed us down the hall, Yusuke and Kazuma fighting in a way that seemed so familiar, so brotherly, that it spoke of a deep friendship that spanned a lifetime.
That jovial feeling - a lightness of spirit - dropped and broke on the floor as we joined the group preparing for battle, and I saw what Kazuma's presence by my side would cost. I saw that my comfort, as all comforts do, would come at the cost of another's.
Hiei and Aria stood together, their navy-haired toddler wiggling in her father's arms. They shared no words we could hear or touches we could see. They did not embrace. I wondered if they were speaking through their connection, as Magnolia had described, or if they knew each other well enough that it was no longer required to communicate.
Aria slipped a ring from her finger and slid it on her husband's pinky - the only place the slim band would fit - leaving him with only a tender squeeze of the hand. She kissed her daughter on the head and stepped out of Hiei's orbit.
Magnolia took Aria's arm as she joined our group; some sign of solidarity or comfort, though neither of them betrayed the need of it in their eyes, only in the blanched white of their knuckles. Better than any, they remembered the risks and the battles they'd be re-living if things went south.
"Are you sure you're up for this?" Magnolia asked me. She gave me a too-meaningful look, and I knew in that moment that she knew. One last time.
"Yes," I said. My lips tightened around further explanation, or excuse, or lie.
"Do you know where to go?" Kurama asked, his voice dancing the perfect line between uncertain and encouraging.
"Yes. When we were in the… the big cave; Lion and Raven energies moved together, and for one moment it looked like they made a…" I waved my hand, searching for the word, "... a door. That is the place."
Kurama nodded. "Whenever you're ready, then."
I palmed the shuttle, feeling the bronze flash from cold to hot in my hand. Blue was ready. Kazuma stood at my side, the group before me; Woden, Kurama, Yusuke, Aria, Magnolia. As ready as I would ever be, as fortified as the castle of my body could be, I held the shuttle before me.
To the Door.
The universe yawed and pitched around us, and though I could see the lights and stars and glorious eternity that expanded in all directions, I was alone in that glory. I could see that the group had all entered the Ways unharmed, but they had to operate on a literal blind faith.
"Okay," Yusuke declared, uncomfortable with silence, "we're taking it slow this time, right? Gonna actually look around and make sure everything's safe and good to go before we make our day hard."
"Best laid plans, Yusuke," Kurama warned. June could see the tension in his face; a lingering fear easily read in the strong grip he kept on Magnolia's hand.
Yusuke scoffed. "Yeah, I don't know what that means."
"It means don't tempt fate, dipshit," Aria shot, not bothering to temper her tongue.
"What? I have never-" Yusuke protested, interrupted by our emergence.
We stepped out onto the stone floor of the cavern, and a thousand heads and eyes turned our way. A sea of lower-level demons poured from a golden doorway that split open the universe beyond.
"Well, fuck," Yusuke groaned.
A/N: whoops. Happy New Year from Voinichok and Kotonok, y'all.
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