Blending, it changes in uncertain ways
Can you tell me how wrong it tastes?
My empty pallet, a sonnet unsung
The colors still linger on my tongue
What if I try?
What if it fails?
And I get dragged in deeper
What if I lose when I lay claim on you?
- Lyrics written by Hailey Logan
Stuffing some clothes in a backpack, Hailey stood up from the bed to put on her bathing suit. She'd decided to go swimming in a lake outside of the city. Swimming always helped clear her head and reminded her of all the times when she'd gone to the sea or a lake with her mother. They'd raced against each other in endless circles, enjoying the freedom the water provided. When Hailey had been a little girl, Mina Logan had always let her win. When Hailey had grown older, her mother challenged her to push herself, to become independent and strong.
It was the unconditional acceptance and love that had boosted Hailey's confidence to pursue her dreams and wishes. While both her parents were sociologists, they never expected Hailey to fall into their footsteps. Admittedly, given her strong-willed nature, it would have been an impossible task anyway.
Her sweet father would still sometimes shake his head with sadness in his eyes, and Hailey knew how much he missed his mate when he looked at her. She knew, too, he would have passed together with her mother if Hailey hadn't been so young when Mina had been unable to battle the sickness invading her body.
Of course, Hailey had mourned the loss of her mother–who'd argue with her as often as she'd agree. But she knew her mother would have never allowed her to stay in mourning. So after the loss had eased a fraction, Hailey had decided to commemorate Mina the best she could; to live her life to the fullest and never forget the water that tied them together.
Hailey always loved the cool kiss of the waves against her skin and went swimming as often as she could. It had helped to calm her down these past weeks. Perhaps the water would hold some answers to her current situation as well.
She covered the swimsuit with a green tank top and zipped up a hooded shirt over it. After shimmying herself into one of her favorite well-worn black jeans, she brushed her hair, plaited it and stepped out of the bedroom.
When she entered the living room, she glimpsed a rectangular-shaped package lying on the coffee table. Her heart jerked in her chest.
It had been a week since James' return to the city. Arrows surrounded her apartment and kept a constant eye on her. Since she hadn't been out much, Hailey thought they were probably having a very boring time. Four times a day, at the oddest hours, one of them would knock on her door to check up on her. She always invited them in, but only a few accepted her invitation beyond a security sweep of her apartment.
The only positive thing about the entire situation was that Hailey kept her apartment spotless. The rest of her time she spent on listening and writing music, since it was the only thing that kept her mind off the situation with Morgan and her radio silence with James.
Funny how you're suddenly able to use music as an outlet again, isn't it?
Hailey smothered the voice in her mind as she thought about James. The first two days after their conversation in the bookstore had been quiet. He'd kept his word and had given her space. A couple of times she hadn't been able to resist the urge to check whether he was still near, so she'd asked the Arrows on duty where he was. The answer was always the same. He was on call twenty-four hours if she wanted to contact him. She always declined.
But the third day, something changed; one of the Arrows had given her a datacrystal and a small bag containing a tub of cookie dough ice cream. Hailey hadn't thought much of it and had opened the file on her organizer. Only when she'd glimpsed the content of the crystal, she'd frozen. It contained twenty-eight songs–one for every birthday she'd celebrated–each and every one a love song.
She'd nearly thrown the datacrystal out of the window in a wave of fury, but after counting to ten, then to forty, she'd decided against it and had stuffed the crystal in a drawer. She'd chucked the ice cream in her freezer and hadn't eaten a single bite of it in silent protest.
During the next surveillance check, she'd received a small package. After warily staring at it for nearly an hour, she'd opened it to find a pressed peony in deep magenta, the delicate petals framed in glass.
She'd threatened the next Arrow who had knocked on her door not to let them in anymore if they were bringing more stupid gifts, but she'd opened the door anyway because she felt bad if they were on the receiving end of her moody behavior.
Tom had stayed over for a cup of tea and Hailey had almost believed James' tenaciousness had reached its limit... until she'd found a small, blue square envelope lying in the windowsill, containing new strings for her guitar. Sneaky Tom.
Admitting defeat, she'd decided she would let the Arrows check her place without hassling them about James' stupid attempts to coax her; she didn't have to open the gifts he sent. Only that proved next to impossible; her inquisitive nature had snarled at her by the time she'd left the fourth gift unopened for five hours.
Cursing James' name while tearing off the wrapper, Hailey had discovered two tickets for an action movie. It was a sequel to the one they'd watched together the night of their arrival in New York, after her visit to Morgan. She'd remembered the moment when she'd snapped at James to stop being extremely obnoxious–after he'd paused the movie for the fifteenth time to point out a combat move that was either impossible or poorly executed. Hailey had almost crumpled the tickets in her hand when she'd caught herself smiling at the memory.
Yesterday morning, Tom had returned–while ignoring her death stare–and had given her the fifth gift; a dream catcher in soft blue with violet and black feathers. Three hours after Tom's visit, another Arrow did another sweep and had brought another gift. A Damascus steel blade with a blue maple handle.
Hailey had almost cried when she'd finally realized James' gifts hadn't been random and pretty things she liked. That presumptuous, intelligent, infuriating man had selected every single gift with the utmost care.
The songs–to remember and dance to, the framed flower–to preserve the beauty of what they'd had, the strings–a way to enhance what threatened to snap, the tickets–a tribute to her training, the dream catcher–to continue making new dreams, and the blade–the sharp edges in her James liked.
The seventh gift had made her snort; a beautiful, luxurious, boysenberry-colored lace lingerie set that must have cost him a small fortune. Of course, the measurements were exactly right. Of course, the shade would complement her skin tone perfectly.
And even though to others it would seem like a sensual, sexual gift, Hailey knew the hidden message her Arrow was sending. For keeping his promise and replacing what he'd torn apart. For liking not only her edges, but also her curves.
She shook her head at the memory of the Arrows that had brought her the eighth gift.
"For fuck's sake, if you guys are here, you have way more spare time than you let on." A scowl at Aden and Zaira, as she stepped aside to let them inside her apartment. Both Arrows accepted her offer of a cup of tea and sat down on the sofa. After preparing the drinks and placing two cups on the coffee table, Hailey installed herself in the windowsill, her hands folded around a large, blue mug.
Aden and Zaira shared eye contact for a moment before Zaira spoke. "How are you?"
Hailey slammed down her mug next to her, causing hot tea to gush over the edges. Uncaring of the mess, she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Screw you guys. You don't have the right to ask me that question."
Zaira's eyes gleamed in a way that made Hailey's internal alarm bells ring, but she noticed Aden's hand brushing Zaira's thigh.
Hailey sighed deeply and rubbed her face with her hands. "I know I'm not one of you and I never will be. I get that, I really do." Her voice turned quiet. "But for the short time I was at the valley, for the first time in months I belonged somewhere. I didn't need to live in constant fear of losing control."
The practical reply was Zaira's. "You knew your stay at the valley was temporary."
Hailey scowled again. "That doesn't change the fact that I trusted you guys. The fact that he"–she couldn't get his name past her lips–"decided to act on his vision, I understand. But you all followed his lead! I thought not only he, but all of you had abandoned me like some stray dog."
A spark in Aden's dark eyes. "You now know that's not the case." He leaned forward to take his cup from the table.
"Does that change anything? The damage is already done and some broken things can't be fixed."
"Of course they can," Zaira answered.
Hailey shook her head. "No. It's all really great that you guys are supporting him and trying to change my mind for him, but no. He can't buy me back with nice gifts."
Aden took a sip from his tea before he spoke. "You believe he asked us to come?"
Hailey shifted, stretched out her legs and crossed them at the ankles as she sat on the edge of the windowsill. She knew James as well as they did. He'd always try to deal with his problems by himself. Still… "I don't care. The answer is no."
Aden and Zaira remained quiet for long moments, long enough for Hailey to know they were telepathing each other. Giving them a narrow-eyed glance, she went to the kitchen to retrieve a dishcloth and cleared up the mess she'd made earlier before she sat down again.
"You know what happens if you truly reject him." Aden's words were quiet but potent, nonetheless.
Of course she was aware of what would happen if she'd choose to walk away. She'd break him, the beautiful, strong, but vulnerable man underneath the layers of stone and ice. And he'd turn into the thing he resented; the raging monster, the angry, pitiless soldier. Yet she also knew Aden and Zaira would never let that happen. It was why they were here.
Impressed by their determination and glad with their ability to care, Hailey replied more even-temperedly now. "He has you guys, he'll be fine. You can't expect me to take him back out of pity or fear of what he'll do."
"No," Aden said, his expression intent, "I expect it because you love him."
Aden's words made Hailey freeze. Not because she didn't want to hear them, but because they were true. She'd loved James so much, she hadn't been able to breathe when she'd realized he was truly gone. She'd loved him so much, it had nearly destroyed her. And yes, there was love still, but also fear. Fear of losing herself even more, fear of shattering even further, fear that constricted and trapped, until love alone wasn't enough anymore.
"I'll ask Vasic to teleport you both to one of the cells in Central Command until you start talking to each other," Zaira said, her tone dead serious. "Both of you aren't functional and both of you are a risk."
Her pragmatic words took nothing away from what Hailey heard underneath Zaira's cool tone. If James was at risk, Aden and Zaira were at risk of losing one of their own. And it would be another strike, another scar on their battered souls. It would prove to the members of the Squad that some of them weren't capable of forming intimate connections, weren't worthy of the care and love someone could provide them with. It would prove to James he wasn't worthy, wasn't capable, wasn't human enough for it anymore.
"Goddamn it." She thrust her hands into her hair. "Goddamn it! You guys are as stubborn as he is."
"We protect those who are ours," Aden had said, and Hailey then knew that the Arrows did consider her one of them, if not for herself, then as an extension of James.
Ten minutes later–and close to midnight–the Squad's leader and his commander-mate had left, but not before handing Hailey another package. She'd left it on the coffee table before attempting to sleep, yet she couldn't help stalking towards it now. After tearing off the royal blue gift-wrap, Hailey saw the eighth gift was a hardcopy book, a new version, since the original dated from the thirteenth century.
The Divine Comedy.
She ran her fingers over the embossed silver letters of the book cover, remembered telling James the story about poet Dante's voyage through hell, purgatory and heaven. She'd played the role of Beatrice–Dante's guide through the spheres of heaven–in a recital three years ago. Fingers trembling, she opened the book, to find a message written in black on the inside of the cover, the writing bold, confident.
Without you, I'd still be stuck in the fifth circle of hell. Will you take me with you once more, Beatrice?
The fifth circle, Hailey knew, was the circle of anger, where the wrathful and furious were condemned to fight each other throughout eternity. She rubbed her fist over her heart, the organ aching at the thought of James seeing himself that way. She'd disregarded it, even though he'd told her, many times.
"Don't fool yourself by thinking I'm a good person. I'm not."
"I'm the worst monster of them all."
"So you see, the darkness, the violence, it's a part of me."
"You can't save me from this, Hailey."
James hadn't broken his promise. He'd spoken the truth the night he'd left. He'd told her they shouldn't be together; only he'd left out the reason why. And it was that reason, the threat to her life, which had led him to believe he couldn't stay with her.
But she had broken her promise to him, to fight for him… because she was afraid.
Swallowing, she ran her fingertips over James' message, wondering for the hundredth time to which changeling James had been speaking. Luring mates with gifts and food was a common way of courting for changelings. Often, members of the pack would assist, then sit back with popcorn and watch the show unfold–
Wait.
Hailey slumped down on the sofa and rested her head in her hand. Those bloody Arrows! Those sly, tricky Arrows! They'd fooled her with their cool behavior and icy demeanor, but they'd done the same for James as changelings would have done for their packmates.
A knock at the door broke through her thoughts, her guards ready to check up on her.
You're a coward, the annoying voice in her mind taunted as she walked to the front door. Aden was right and you know it!
Hailey recalled James' body language the day they'd spoken in the bookstore. He'd been tense, his words grit out and his control steel. Always, always he was in complete control of the situation, and everything he'd done since the night he'd left indicated the same. Every measure he'd taken since then had been deliberate, thought out in detail and executed meticulously. Every gift he'd chosen was selected with care and with the intention of creating the maximum amount of impact.
And the eighth gift, oh yes, it hit home hard. A book she loved, a role she'd played… it stood symbol for him listening to her stories, having always heard her, understanding her.
And perhaps it was true. Perhaps he'd heard her sorrow and perhaps he understood her pain. James of all people knew what it was like to be left, to feel completely and utterly alone.
Hailey wondered if she could do it, if she was able to gather the strength to keep her promise. Aside from the obvious problems, a major hurdle was that her relationship with James had always been unbalanced. Even now, he was still holding tightly onto his precious control, and if he'd keep things from her he would continue being the one to hold onto the power of their relationship. She'd never throw all her cards on the table anymore out of self-preservation, not unless he was willing to do the same.
What are you whining about? He came back for you, didn't he?
While that might be true, his return didn't automatically repair the thing that was broken between them.
But keeping him away won't mend it either. At least…if you want it to be fixed. Hailey jammed that thought in a dark corner of her mind as she opened the door.
Her breath caught when she saw it wasn't any random Arrow, but her Arrow in the doorway. Heart booming inside her chest, she stepped back. Her senses heightened at the sight of him, sparks jolting through her system.
"Come in," she said, her voice a whisper.
Oh Jesus, Hales. It's not like you've never spoken to the man before!
Swallowing, she turned and walked into the kitchen so she wouldn't have to make eye contact with James. It frustrated her that he could sweep her off her feet so easily, just by being who he was.
After placing a kettle filled with water on the heating unit, she asked, "Do you want some tea?" She tugged her braid over her shoulder and played her fingers through the ringlets below the hair tie while mentally laughing at herself. God, you sound so stupid. Stop twisting and turning about and bite the damn bullet!
The thuds of James' heavy boots closed the distance from the front door to the kitchen as she released a breath and reached for one of the cupboards.
"Yes."
Hailey nearly dropped a cup at the deep timbre. It felt like a welcome graze against her skin, and she couldn't imagine it ever being so oddly flat it had given her goose bumps. She closed her eyes to take in the power of his presence before speaking again. "Do you want milk and sugar in it?" Hailey grimaced and looked at her shaking hands. "Of course you don't. I'm sorry," she muttered.
"Perhaps I should try it." His whiskey-coated voice suddenly sounded very, very close. The hairs on the back of her neck rose when James' breath caressed her nape.
"Oh, okay." It came out a breathless whisper as she went motionless. James braced his hands on the countertop, trapping her between his body and the counter. Shivering, Hailey felt her nipples tighten and stomach clench. She stared at the cupboards and took in the sensation of his closeness; her need for his touch, for him, a pulsing ache under her skin. The warmth of his chest seemed to brand her–which should have been impossible because he wasn't touching her.
Yet.
James' breath kept brushing over that same spot, her senses heightened by the closeness of him. He didn't say anything, he didn't move. He just stood there, waiting.
Waiting for you, Hailey realized after a while. In a way, he was using the same strategy she'd done when they were at the hospital parking lot. She looked down at James' hands and saw he was holding the granite countertop tight enough for it to be at risk of breaking.
The past four days, she'd had a lot of time to think about what she wanted. And somewhere in the back of her mind, she'd known. James hadn't left because he'd wanted to. He felt like he was forced to do it in order to keep her safe. How could she punish him for that?
She knew it had hurt him as well, had seen it in his various attempts to reach her. He wasn't a bad person for trying to protect her. It was a stupid ass move, but his intentions had been good. Even though he didn't see it, he was good.
Enough, she said to herself.
They had both hurt enough, had both endured enough. She was unable to wound him for the sole purpose of giving back what she'd been through. He probably had punished himself more than once for that, had added onto the guilt that lay inside his tough walls.
He deserves better.
God, it was hard, because she was scared. But she loved him, loved him until she couldn't breathe, until she couldn't think straight. And he was probably just as scared, just as nervous, even if he didn't show it on the outside.
But the question is; are you going to let that fear rule your life?
Fuck no. Fear had already taken too much from her. And clutching on to her fear right now would mean she'd lose James for real this time. He fucked up big time, but he was only human. He was allowed to make mistakes; she sure as hell wasn't perfect, and she didn't expect him to be perfect either.
Hailey carefully lifted her hands and placed them onto his. A shudder ran through his body and her heart clenched.
He thought you were going to reject him again.
She broke the contact and turned around. James stood up straight, but he was still close enough for Hailey to breathe in his intoxicating scent of oak moss and sandalwood. She tipped up her head to meet his gaze, azure smoldering with intensity when he locked eyes with her.
He gently cupped her face with his big hands, and she felt tears burn as she closed her eyes and leaned into his hold, placing one hand around his wrist.
"I'm sorry, Hailey," his deep voice quiet, shadows in his eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you."
The tears flowed freely now, warm streaks running from her cheeks to his hands. She placed her hands on his chest. "I know. I'm sorry, too."
Her hands clenched in his shirt when he placed his forehead against hers. Their breaths intermingled and Hailey felt tiny jolts of life shoot through her body at the contact, her sheer need for him so vast, it was inexplicable. Then James spoke again, and his words broke through every defense she'd built against him the past weeks.
"I've missed you."
She couldn't help herself. Hailey jumped him, and he caught her, one arm around her waist and the other under her thigh. Hailey buried her face in James' neck, he nuzzled her hair.
A touch of James' Tk lifted her, so she could wrap her legs around his waist. James moved his hand from under her thigh to her nape, softly stroking the sensitive skin. She sighed and closed her eyes, inhaling his scent and basking in the strength of his body, her heart warming with belonging.
They stood like that for a long time. Hailey held onto James like he could disappear at any instant again and he embraced her, comforted her, was there for her.
Somehow they ended on her bed, facing each other as they kept touching one another.
Hailey brushed his hair off his forehead and ran her fingers through the blond waves, the strands gleaming gold in the rays of morning sunlight. James' hand was on her hip. A small frown appeared between his eyebrows when he stroked her side. "You've lost weight."
A wry smile on Hailey's lips. "Does that mean I've improved my weight to height ratio?"
Shadows covered James' eyes again, midnight Prussian taking over bright azure. "Why didn't you eat?"
Hailey scowled. "Because every time I did, I felt like throwing up."
James froze at her words. Hailey grabbed his hand from her hip and lifted it to her lips, pressing a kiss on the palm. She didn't want to blame him for leaving. She'd made her choice to forgive him and accept his mistakes, and she'd stick by it.
There's no changing what happened, but you can choose how you react towards him now, she thought to herself.
"Thank you for the gifts," she said in order to switch topics, hating the look in his eyes, the one that told her he was angry with himself. "The blade was a nice touch."
He ran the tips of his fingers over her cheek. "I wasn't sure you'd use it to cut up the lingerie, but it seems I've won the gamble." He shot a look at her closet, where the fancy paper bag hung on the doorknob.
Hailey raised an eyebrow "You're not a betting man." He was too practical for something like that, even if his calculating nature and his foresight would most likely mean he'd have a high chance of winning.
His index finger traced her lips. "It seems I'm becoming a lot of things, thanks to you."
She smirked at him. "Will compliant ever be added to that list?" He just gave her a look, which made her snort.
His brow furrowed when he looked down at her stomach, where the hem of her shirt had shoved up a little. "What are you wearing?"
"A bathing suit. I wanted to go for a swim." She moved to sit up. "Do you want to join me?"
James moved off the bed with that Tk gracefulness and held out his hand when he stood next to the bed. Taking it, Hailey pulled herself to stance.
She tipped up her head towards him and scrunched her nose. "I'm driving."
James was already regretting the second he'd given Hailey the code to the car. She manually drove them out of the city to a park that was accessible to humans but fell under the WaterSky Eagle Changeling domain.
Her driving skills were… interesting at best. He tightened the fist resting on his thigh when she turned on some music as she absently steered with one hand. She looked up at the traffic to swipe past some cars and returned her attention to the music again, and his fist tightened a fraction more.
The amount her focus has improved is baffling if this was her starting point. Though, he was forced to admit the thought was accompanied by a feeling he could only name as affection. The way music was Hailey's outlet was intriguing to him.
Perhaps she'll be willing to teach you this as well.
Finally, Hailey found a song she liked and started tapping her fingers to the beat on the steering wheel while speeding through the traffic.
James tried to ignore her driving as he studied her features. Warmth unfurled in his chest at her proximity, her light and life seeping into him again. He drew in a quiet, sharp breath when Hailey swiftly intercepted a car driving the exact speed limit.
"Stop looking annoyed," Hailey muttered with a scowl as she picked another song. "I thought you Arrows were used to a little danger."
James knew she was still going through a storm of emotions and he understood why. Yet, she hadn't rejected him when he'd reached out to her this time. James reminded himself to thank Remi when he'd see the RainFire alpha again.
The past three weeks he'd talked to others more than he'd ever remembered speaking, courtesy of Hailey's openness. Aden had taken away the last of the dissonance controls after their conversation. Vasic had shared some solutions to his Tk issues when he'd teleported James back to the city after the play date with RainFire.
"I hope you both find happiness. Preferably with each other." The Squad's second in command had shaken his head. "Ivy would have killed me if I'd done what you did, even if you did it to protect Hailey."
Needless to say, that conversation had only intensified James' apprehension of speaking to Hailey again.
Luckily for him, Hailey was still the open book she'd always been towards him. She was the same passionate, acerbic, intelligent woman he'd been fascinated by from the start. The only thing he had to do was open up towards her to regain her trust. Even though that sounded easy, a lifetime of Silence made it difficult for him to surrender himself to somebody else, to be vulnerable.
If you want to spend your life with her you need to act and you need to do it fast. He was an Arrow, elite, for a reason. They never diverted from their goal; they never gave up on their target.
James snapped out of his thoughts when the car came to a halt.
"We have to walk from here." Hailey's husky voice made the hairs on his arms stand up straight in response.
She got out of the car and grabbed her backpack from the backseat. After slinging it over her shoulder, they started walking towards a path through the forested area.
"I used to come here with my mom," she told him as she led him towards another narrow path. "She passed away when I was seventeen. My father moved back to Europe two years after her passing. He's British."
He knew that; her personal and background information were attached to the file Aden had given him. It only now occurred to him that one of the endearments she'd used for him was because of her father's heritage. Love, she'd called him, and every time she'd said it James had seen the emotion she'd used as endearment reflected in her eyes.
She avoided a tree branch, the movement causing her body to brush up against his. James resisted the urge to grab hold of her and listened.
"My mom met him when she was studying at Cambridge. They had an argument over a theory during a criminology class." An absent smile, her eyes staring unseeing in the distance. "They didn't know it then, but it turned out they both were Forgotten. The odds are one in a million–the Forgotten population is thin and spread out over the planet. My mother used to say she didn't believe in coincidence. She said it had been fate."
Given his F-abilities, James agreed. Things happened for a reason, even if sometimes that reason was as simple as a reaction to an action.
Hailey glanced up and gave him a tight smile. "My father came with her to New York after they both graduated. They'd been blessed with twenty-nine years together. Three months after my seventeenth birthday, my mom got diagnosed with such a vicious brain tumor. Even the most cutting-edge laser-radiation therapy couldn't save her." Hailey's voice was quiet. "Six weeks and a lot of tears later, my father and I flew to India to scatter her ashes in the Indian Ocean. It was her dying wish, to merge with the sea she always loved."
James reached out and took her hand, the need to comfort her too great to rein in the response. Hailey froze for a moment, her movements jerky before she laced her fingers through his.
James gritted his teeth but didn't comment on her response. He was angry with himself for causing her stiff reaction. At first he hadn't been able to give her what she needed because he hadn't been sure he'd be able to leash his telekinesis. Now her reaction was rooted in the pain he caused by his departure. Right then and there, he vowed to never hurt her again. He'd made a mistake by wanting to avert the threat to her, but he wouldn't shut her out anymore.
"I'm sorry for your loss," he said, not knowing how to respond otherwise to her story. He barely remembered his father, had only seen his mother twice. Unlike Hailey, he had little knowledge of how it was to be loved and accepted by others on such a deep level. The only one who'd ever shown him such affection was her.
Hailey shook her head. "No, it's better this way. She was in pain." She shrugged. "My dad never really recovered from her passing, so he likes to focus on his work. I try to visit him twice a year, but even though he loves me to bits, seeing me hurts him as well."
His eyebrows knitted together. "You look like her," James guessed, lacking the reference because there hadn't been a picture of Hailey's mother attached to her file.
A snort from the small woman next to him. "Not only that, our personalities are," a small wince, "were nearly identical. I have my father's darker skin tone but inherited my mother's sharp tongue. It reminds him too much of her. He will never fully heal from it, but it's okay." She smiled a little. "Though it's sad that she's gone and he's alone, there's beauty in the way she was and still is loved by him."
After walking in silence for several minutes, they reached a large lake. The hill where they stood offered a perfect view of the crystal-clear water, the surface glittering in the sun. Most of the lake was surrounded by trees and other greeneries, but there were several patches of grass in between the bushes, places where people could enjoy the sun.
Hailey dropped her backpack to the ground and started undressing. While doing a thorough telepathic scan–three Arrows were currently pulling into the parking spot Hailey had driven them to, with the orders to wait unless they received a telepathic hail from him,–James followed her lead, stripping until he wore only his boxer briefs.
Hailey stared at him, her blush a deep pink against the soft caramel of her skin and her full lips slightly parted.
James was fully aware she liked the way he looked. Hailey had called him beautiful many times before, had even suggested he was out of her league. It was completely incomprehensible to him why she'd believe that to be true. Although he'd been told during Arrow training that his physical appearance was pleasing towards humans and changelings, their response had always been the same as Hailey's had been at the start–though, her fearful response had lasted a mere two minutes before she'd gotten annoyed with him.
Aside from that, he didn't understand why she'd think she wasn't enough. She would always be more than he deserved, a gift so beautiful and rare he intended to cherish it for the rest of his life and kill everyone who'd try to take her from him.
He couldn't help running his eyes over her body, the indigo swimsuit skintight against her voluptuous curves, her long hair unraveled from the braid, framing her face, the dark strands glinting copper in the sun. She'd lost weight, but that would be easily fixed.
The changelings like to feed each other, an eager voice in his mind said. Perhaps you can do the same with her. Naked.
Gritting his teeth, James tore away his eyes from her with considerable effort and used every part of his Arrow training to stop his body's response towards her. He couldn't, wouldn't, push Hailey into physical intimacy. Even though the attraction between them was evident, the physicality would mean nothing if she wasn't with him all the way.
"The area is clear," he said instead of all the other things he wanted to say.
Hailey nodded and stepped towards the edge of the hill. She jumped and gracefully dove into the water. Moments after she'd disappeared beneath the surface she came up for air, wiping her hair out of her face.
James boosted his jump with Tk and dove into the water as well. The liquid caused a biting sensation against his skin and he wondered why Hailey hadn't yelped at what was actually ice-cold water. Coming up, he swam over until they were only inches apart.
"Race you to the other end of the lake?" Hailey pointed towards a large willow on the other side of the water. James estimated it was a little over half a mile.
"Are we allowed to use our abilities?" He knew he was stronger and faster than her, but the fluid way Hailey moved in the water made it clear this was her area of expertise.
James rarely swam. Of course he'd learned to do so for training purposes, but he'd never considered swimming as a physical outlet or for play. And even though his telekinesis would usually make him faster, he couldn't help but find himself at a disadvantage. Apart from that, he didn't expect Hailey to throw a challenge at him she wasn't able to counter.
Hailey smiled, her eyes gleaming. "Yes, of course." She moved until she was shoulder to shoulder with him and gave him a sideway glance. "Ready?"
James inclined his head.
"Three… Two… One… Go!" Hailey's voice echoed around them as she set off.
James used his Tk to gain momentum, swimming as fast as he could. Doing a breaststroke, he speared through the water and reached the center of the lake in under a minute.
He looked back. Hailey wasn't anywhere in sight.
Alarmed, he did another telepathic scan and found her, her psychic touch as obvious and unique to him as her scent. But a part of her psychic presence in the scan seemed off. Something clicked in his mind and it dawned on him.
You've never included her in your scan before.
Hailey often chastised him for being arrogant. It seemed she was right after all. He always thought the reason why her telekinetic and telepathic touch felt different from other Psy was due to the fact that she was one of the Forgotten. Only now he realized how wrong and right he'd been at the same time.
Already on the other side of the lake, Hailey blew him a kiss.
He felt his chest grow tight and moved towards her. The tightness in his chest expanded when he reached her. She was waiting for him with a smile around her lips, her head tilted a little to the side.
"I was under the impression we were able to use our psychic abilities," he said.
She nodded at him, eyes big, dark lashes batting rapidly. "Yes, you're right. We were allowed to use all of our abilities."
James wasn't fooled by her innocent look. "It seems I've disregarded the fact that Forgotten members have a mixed genetic background," he said as he inched closer.
Hailey's eyes sparkled with humor. "Have you really? How foolish, milord."
The tightness in his chest turned to an odd but pleasant spiking sensation all over his body. The edges of his mouth curled.
Hailey's pupils dilated, and for the first time since he'd returned, she smiled that pure, light filled smile at him. James wrenched back his need to take all of her and only extended his hand to cup her jaw.
"Yes," he murmured as he stroked her cheek with his thumb, "you've been keeping secrets."
Hailey's eyes widened a fraction more as she bit her lip. "Technically not," she retorted. "I've simply forgotten to tell you." That beautiful smile covered her lips again. "But I will tell you if you guess correctly."
He had no way of winning this game, but with Hailey, James found it not so bad to be on the losing side. "BlackSea is very secretive about its members."
"Technically," Hailey coughed as she tried to hide her laugh, "I don't have a full membership."
He didn't stand a chance against her. James found he was completely and utterly captivated by her, lost since the moment he met her, drowning in dark eyes with flecks of jade and gold.
Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled her close against his body as he used his Tk to keep himself afloat in the water. The warmth of her skin seeped over his. And even though she'd lost a considerable amount of weight, she was still lusciously curved, though her body was a little more muscled than when he first met her. Either which way was fine with him, so long as he got to hold her.
"My best guess is still that you're a siren," he muttered a hairsbreadth from her lips, her breath warming his skin.
Hailey shivered and tunneled her fingers through his hair. "Alas, so close, but also so wrong," she whispered, her breasts pressing against his chest with each shallow inhale.
A sense of relief washed over him at the validation that she still responded to him as much as he did to her. James brushed his mouth over her lower lip. "I yield."
He felt her smile against his lips. "An Arrow giving up so easily? Impossible." She slanted her lips over his, and his heart threatened to explode. James rationally knew he had to take things slow, but his hunger for her was so vast that he grabbed hold of her hair and took over their kiss.
Hailey braced herself on his shoulders and made a soft, feminine noise when his tongue slid against hers. She pressed herself even more closely to him. James stroked his fingers past her spine and rested his hand on the curve of her buttocks. Hailey sighed, her fingernails digging in his skin as she laved her tongue against his.
With her as liquid fire in his arms, James decided to explore another intimacy again. I've missed holding you.
She jerked a little at the telepathic contact, so he distracted her by biting down on her plump lower lip. Gasping, Hailey arched away until she could look into his eyes.
"You need to promise me," her breath was shallow, but the blush on her cheekbones had receded, her skin gleaming from the cold water. Trails of her dark hair stuck to her neck and shoulders, sliding over her skin when she moved.
"Promise me you won't leave without telling me." She swallowed. "You can try to shut me out as much as you like. You know I'll keep bantering and nagging you until you let me in anyway." Her voice turned quiet when she looked down. "But you can't ever leave me like that again."
James gripped her chin and took in those unique eyes that had darkened once more; the sparking flecks reduced to tiny pinpoints. Seeing sorrow take over the light of her felt like a punch to the solar plexus.
"Hailey," he said, forcing her to meet his gaze, "I promise." He stroked back a loose tendril of hair and held her nape. "Never again." He brushed his lips over hers. "I'll never forgive myself for hurting you," he spoke against her lips, "but if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up with you."
She cupped his face and he lifted his head. "No. That's not how it's supposed to be." Jade jolted like electric currents in her irises. "We both went through hell and felt like shit for it. I forgive you for leaving, and you'll forgive me for keeping my distance."
His lips twitched at her steely tone. "Will I?"
"Of course," she said in unvarnished arrogance, but he caught the glimmer in her eyes. "I'm the most interesting woman you've ever met."
How he'd missed her. Though, it was true. Spending a century with her would never bore.
"No guilt, no scores to settle," Hailey added. "Only promises to keep."
And he'd keep his promises to her until his last breath, until his heart stopped beating. Because the twisted and scarred organ was hers, would only ever be hers. He inclined his head and stroked his knuckles past her cheek. "Alright."
Big eyes turned golden and her features softened. When James leaned in to kiss her again, he felt her fingers on his lips.
Hailey's mouth curved in a playful smile. "Only if you catch me."
In a flash she was gone. James felt sparks racing through his system at the challenge. Your stubborn, wild and passionate siren is back.
Using his Tk, he dove under water and watched Hailey's form disappear as something shimmered around her in the clear water. He chased her but she was too fast.
When James came up for air, he searched the water surface for her.
Nothing.
You're cheating, he accused as he swam towards the center of the lake. Laughter in his mind, the beautiful sound erasing the dark emptiness inside of him. James dove down and looked around, the water clear enough to see a couple of yards in the distance.
A shadow to his right.
He jerked and reached out, but Hailey was long gone before he was able to grab her. When he felt a touch against his shoulder blade, accompanied by a psychic 'kiss', he twisted, to find nothing.
Coming up for air again, he sent out a telepathic scan to the left of the lake. Only small to moderate life forms.
Sending out another scan, James covered the opposite side of the lake.
There.
Using his Tk, he lifted a bulk of water out of the lake into the air. Hailey floated in the center of the water blob, surprise written all over her face.
I'm not the one cheating! Her laughter cascaded in his mind once more.
Holding her up in the air, James swam closer and released the water. It slammed back down into the lake and he caught Hailey, her back against his chest as waves broke the clear surface of the water.
James ran his hand over his face, removing droplets from his eyelashes while using his telekinesis again to keep them in place.
"I win," he murmured against the shell of her ear. Hailey shivered and he leaned back a little, brushing her hair from her right shoulder and placing it over her left. Running his fingers over her bare neck, he carefully touched the gills on the side. They moved open and shut.
Wonder filled his heart as he gently stroked his fingertips over the delicate slits again.
Definitely a Siren, he said to her. Beautiful and dangerous.
When Hailey turned around she smiled shyly, a pink blush covering her cheeks. "The Arrow and the Siren," she whispered, "wouldn't that make for a great story?"
He kissed her, claiming his prize with the intense hunger that lived inside him. Hailey grabbed hold of his shoulders.
James' head snapped up at the odd feeling of her hands on his body. Nudging her arm, he held it up and studied the limb. His amazement of her grew by the minute.
"I've seen this before," he said as he stroked his thumb over the webbed surface between her fingers, the delicate film two shades lighter than her skin, glistening pearlescent silver-white when he brought her hand up to observe it. Hailey fisted her hand and showed the outer part of her forearm. A dark, narrow fin was linked to her skin, connecting from her wrist to her elbow.
"Look," she said, and she fanned it out a little, revealing the transparent blue and grey colors of it. She turned her arm a fraction, showing a hidden purple shimmer in the rays of the sun.
He ran his fingers over the exceptional addition to her arm. "How?" he asked as he touched the surface again.
She scrunched up her nose. "My maternal great-grandfather was a blue marlin changeling. He mated a cardinal telekinetic around the Dawn of Silence–she was a marine biologist. They met when she was working at a station in the Indian Ocean." She smiled when his fingers ran up and down her arm again.
He was fascinated by the feel of her, and reminded himself once again how unique, how rare a woman like her was. Not just for being part changeling, but for being Hailey.
"My grandmother and mother were able to shift fully. This," she gestured at her arm, "is more of a semi-shift; I'm only one-eighth part changeling. I don't know how it works for others," a small crease between her eyebrows, "I've never met anyone with such a small percentage of changeling blood, but there must be more people like me."
Curious, James lifted her, one arm underneath her thighs and the other behind her back. She raised her leg in the air to show him another dark fin, this one connected to the side of her calf, running from her knee to her ankle. Her toes were webbed, just like her hands.
"This is the full extent of your shift?" he asked while he used his Tk to support her legs as he ran his fingers up her leg, stroking the part where the fin was connected to her calf.
"Yeah. I'm happy to inform you my nose doesn't turn into a two-foot-long spear," she grinned, "but I'll always beat you in water. Marlins are one of the fastest swimmers in the sea. Being part water-changeling also seems to be the reason why my Tk is stronger in water."
Hailey's hand clenched in his hair and her breath turned choppy when he stroked his hand up her thigh, caressing the silky skin on the inside of her leg.
"Absolutely singular," he said before covering her luscious mouth. She parted her lips for him, the silent invitation unchaining his built-up need for her.
James changed his hold and Hailey followed his lead seamlessly, wrapping her legs around his waist and embracing him as he continued to kiss her. When he ran his teeth over her lower lip she shuddered, her nipples furled to small beads pressing against his chest. She kissed up his jaw and bit at his earlobe.
Shimmers appeared around her and the next instant, she was fully human again.
Fascinated by her, James grabbed hold of her hair. The thick, wet mass curled around his fingers and met the molten gold of her eyes.
Yes? he asked, his breath coming in rapid pants. He needed to be sure, needed to know for certain if her decision to act on the physical pull between them was a conscious choice.
"I now remember saying that I wouldn't touch you unless you asked me." Liquid gold switched to luminous jade as he watched her expression turn from solemn to playful, a wide grin creasing her cheeks. "But I'm not sure you'll be able to handle everything I'll give you anyway," she teased him as she shrugged. "It would be a shame if you prematurely misfired your ammo."
No question about it. She was with him all the way.
He flexed his hand in her hair, which got him a small gasp, her eyelids fluttering shut for a moment and her lower body undulating against his hips.
He brought his lips to her ear. "Always eager to taunt, Miss Logan. Say that again when I'm buried all the way inside of you," he dared her. Even though she might be right–his control non-existent when it came to her–he intended to play this game till the very end; an ending where she'd be sated and limp, sighing from pleasure. "Give me your best shot."
When Hailey kissed his neck and sucked on his pulse, he felt the sparks jolt through his body, his erection twitching at the pleasure of her touch. He let out a burst of Tk into the water and silently thanked Vasic for the pointer.
"That would mean, for starters, I'd have to put my mouth on you," she said as she scratched her nails over his back and kissed his chest, "and lick and suck and nip until you have trouble breathing." The words were a husky whisper and made his stomach tighten as he kissed her, hot and hard.
Arching his head back when she dug her nails harder in his skin, James found he had no more patience. "Nip?" he rasped out.
He did a wide scan of the lake area only to find several small animals in the vicinity. He didn't hesitate a single moment and tore down the straps of her bathing suit. After she'd slid out her arms, James pulled down the tight, wet material to her waist. Hailey let out a laughing gasp at the speed he was undressing her but kept on holding him as he met her eyes. Gold and glowing, with a blush on her cheeks and her lips kiss-swollen, she was as alluring to him as the mythical creatures he liked to compare her with.
Hailey held his gaze and licked her lips. "Yes. Nip." Her breathy voice enticing. "And you can bite me in return as well," she took his free hand and moved it towards the juncture of her thighs, her skin turning deep pink and her eyes hazy with desire. "Even there."
Every cell in James' brain short-circuited and he unleashed his Tk into the water again. Bending down, he kissed and sucked the luscious slopes of her breasts as he briefly cupped her before moving his hand to her waist.
My beautiful Siren, he sent to her as he continued tasting her, running his teeth over her nipple and gently pulling the tight bud. After releasing it, he flicked his tongue over the sensitized nub. I'll enjoy nipping and biting you, I think.
Hailey whimpered and pressed her lower body against his turgid length, the sultry motion causing a wave of heat to crash through his body. "Do that again," she ordered with a husky voice, her eyes closed.
If he hadn't been rock-hard already, the mere sound of her voice would have done the trick. James repeated the caress on her other breast while plucking her kiss-wet nipple between his fingers, rubbing small circles over the top. A deep moan escaped her throat and James pressed himself against the heat between her legs, his pounding erection strained in his boxers.
Kissing his collarbone, Hailey slid her hands between them, down to the waistband of his underwear. A moment later, his boxer briefs were gone by the use of her Tk.
He felt the corners of his mouth twitch. "Was that payback for ripping your bra?"
"Absolutely," her voice a breathless whisper when she stroked her hand through his curls and down. James' hand clenched in her hair.
Hailey stroked her hand around the side of his pulsing penis befo–
His nerve endings exploded and he growled when she softly massaged his testicles. Right now, his Tk wasn't coming in burst, but it was more like a constant hum, amplifying every time Hailey did something that made his body respond violently.
He took her wrist in a tight grip and released himself out of her hold when she fisted him, before she'd make him come then and there, and would win their small duel. James drank in the smile on her lips, tasted the luminous life that was Hailey.
Lifting her with one hand and the use of his Tk, Hailey let out a small yelp when he pulled down her bathing suit, the material bunching halfway down her thighs. When James lowered her, Hailey reached down and removed the garment. She hooked her legs around his waist again and looked at him through heavy-lidded eyes. James did another telepathic scan before pushing himself against her. The blunt tip of his penis stroked her wet, hot core.
Hailey's blush was deep. "I can't believe we're having sex here," she murmured as she moved against him, causing his erection to throb. "I've never done anything like this before."
James put one hand around her nape and the other on her hip. "Me neither," he said through clenched teeth.
The sound Hailey made was somewhere between a laugh and a moan when James pushed himself deeper inside the soft, slick tightness of her. Every muscle in his body was taut as he paused to let her get used to the thick invasion of him while attempting to temper his arousal.
Hailey's head arched back as her nails dug into his shoulders. I've missed you, too, her warm voice in his mind.
He shuddered at her words, at the feeling of her body wrapped around him, owning him.
James pulled back a little and slammed into her, using his Tk to steady them in the water. Hailey whimpered softly, the sound of her pleasure enough to put him on edge. Her internal muscles clenched when he squeezed her bottom as he brushed his fingers over the place of their intimate connection, slickness coating his fingertips.
You're mine. James kissed her, bit her, branded her. Hailey cried out when he slammed into her again and again, unable to stop himself. Head spinning and pulse racing at the pleasure, he reminded himself to pleasure her as well, using his Tk to stroke her clitoris while he bent down to suck on her nipple.
"James!" He felt Hailey convulse around him, and when he looked up, her eyes glowed in ecstasy. He retracted and entered one last time before falling into oblivion.
Ten minutes later, a pleasure sated Hailey was lying next to James in the soft grass. Bathing in the afternoon sun, Hailey admired James' gorgeous body. His skin gleamed gold, his muscles emphasized by the light and shadows.
Beautiful man.
She ran her fingers up and down his chest as he lazily lay down with one arm folded under his head and the other underneath her waist, possessively cupping her buttocks.
Her soul felt light again at the sight of him, here, with her. It would take some time for the trust he'd broken to repair. But he was here, he'd come back for her. And he's brought a whole new bag of tricks with him, she thought to herself smugly, her body limp from being deliciously taken by him. She shuddered a little.
"It's a good thing you're so charming and handsome," Hailey teased. "Otherwise I might have let you stand in front of a closed door and we wouldn't have been here."
His eyes remained closed as he countered her taunt. "I thought you found me to be arrogant and presumptuous?" He squeezed the soft flesh of her butt. "I was unaware you've had a change of heart."
She smiled and brushed his damp hair off his forehead. "Didn't you call it determined and confident?" She kissed the line of his breastbone. "I like determined and confident men." She hesitated for a moment and blushed deeply as she telepathically added, Especially if they make me come the way you do.
Hand jerking on her butt, his eyes opened, azure blue blazing. "Are teachers allowed to speak in such a manner?"
"Hush." Cheeks warm, she straddled him and leaned forward to kiss him, softly brushing her lips against his. "Admit it," she said with a smile on her lips, a sense of belonging warming her from the inside at his closeness. "You like it when I talk dirty."
"I was told," James said as he gently rolled over, Hailey underneath him now, "that it was important to talk to women during sex." He flicked his tongue over her nipple, making her gasp. "But I do find it," a small bite, "highly erotic," a kiss on her neglected breast, "when you return the favor."
He molded her breast as he kissed a path over her stomach. "Your skin is so soft, I want to taste you everywhere," he flicked his tongue over her navel. "I want to kiss you and lick you until you come." He tipped up his head to meet her gaze. "And then start over again," he murmured before he softly bit her hipbone.
Whimpering, Hailey felt herself grow damp all over again at that low roughness in his voice, promising to make parts deep in her body ache with pleasure. His words made her body feel afire, her skin begging for his touch.
James settled himself between her thighs and pulled her legs over his shoulders. Without warning, he licked through her folds, sucked on the delicate flesh. Sobbing, Hailey fisted her hands in his hair.
Tell me, Hailey. His telepathic voice dark with lust, Hailey felt herself grow even wetter at the sound of him combined with the exquisite things his tongue did to her. Tell me what you want.
Hailey cried out and arched into his intimate kiss when he sucked on her clitoris. I love it when you put your mouth on me.
He sucked again. She gasped and jerked, her body molten against his tongue.
What do you want? He softly ran his teeth over her slick folds.
Hailey felt a deep blush cover her face. Use your fingers, her telepathic voice a whisper.
She'd never had a lover that was so demanding, so straight forward about it. She couldn't remember ever being so forward about it herself… It was like all her hesitancy disappeared when he was intimate with her. But now he was lying between her legs, pleasuring her in ways she absolutely loved, yet she had difficulty letting go.
He flicked his tongue over the bundle of nerves, making her jerk. I can't hear you.
Feeling like rolling her eyes at him but unable to do so since he was pleasantly torturing her, Hailey said, I want you to use your fingers, her voice clearer now.
She sucked in a breath when his fingers circled the skin of her entrance. He gently pushed them in a little. Hailey's entire body was taut in anticipation of his caresses. All of a sudden James froze and lifted his head.
Their gazes locked; his eyes black as onyx.
"What?"Hailey asked with a slight amount of panic in her voice. James had told her he'd been doing regular telepathic scans to make sure she was safe. Maybe he'd done another scan and had found people coming closer. Her muscles tightened at that thought.
She never saw his response coming.
You forgot to say please, he said as he continued circling her entrance and dipping in his fingers a tiny bit before pulling them back.
Hailey groaned, restlessly moving her hips against his hand as he was driving her completely crazy. Are you kidding me?!
He bit the inside of her thigh.
Hailey gasped and pulled at his hair. "Please," her voice a rasp.
James pushed in his fingers a fraction more before receding them, their eyes still locked, the intimacy of it causing Hailey to whimper.
He kissed the inside of her thigh as he repeated the caress. "Please, what?"
Hailey felt like laughing and hitting him at the same time. He was playing with her.In awe of this gorgeous, excruciating man, she gave him what he wanted. "Please, James… use your fingers on me."
A moan escaped her throat as he pumped in his fingers, the slickness of her causing a sobbing sound that only amplified her arousal. When he flicked his tongue over her clitoris again, she was almost on the edge of an orgasm.
James stopped again.
Letting out a frustrated growl, Hailey tipped up her head again. "What? What is it this time?"
He smiled at her.
He actually, fully smiled. And the heat of his endless midnight eyes made it somewhat wicked, dangerous.
Say it again. He rubbed his stubbled jaw against the inside of her thigh as he inhaled deeply, the scent of her musk creating blue jolts in the blackness of his gaze. Hailey panted at the raw sensation combined with his next words.
There is nothing more arousing than watching your responses after your requests, Miss Logan. Your voice makes me want to pleasure you over and over.
She had no barriers, no resistance whatsoever to him when he opened up like this. Still a little flustered, she whispered, "Please James, make me come." The deep blush returned to her cheeks. "Please use your mouth and fingers on me."
A determined glint in his eyes, he plunged in his fingers again, the fast rhythm making Hailey's nerve endings explode.
Ask me one more time.
Her frustration took over, her body overly sensitized and on edge, she shouted, "Damn it, James!" A sob as he licked her. "Please, please make me come!"
His rock-hard erection slid into her, and it took her so much off guard that she screamed out at the delicious thickness of him. She arched up her hips to meet his and moaned at the intensity of him. James braced one arm beside her head while cupping her face with the other. Hailey wrapped her arms around his neck, locked her legs around his thighs and pulled him close to kiss him deeply as he kept moving inside her.
Their eyes locked, their foreheads touched, their intimacy shutting out everything around them.
You're mine, Hailey. James flexed his hips, filling her with the same possession that resonated in his voice. Each motion he made added to the pleasure inside her, as it expanded and spilled out, her orgasm tearing through her body. Moments later his body locked and she felt him pulsating inside of her, the feeling exquisitely abrasive against her pleasure-swollen tissues.
"Yes, love," she whispered when he arched up his head, his cheekbones flushed and the black in his gaze fading to blue. "I'm yours and you are mine."
He smiled at her again, and Hailey knew she was completely lost. Lost to a man who would destroy her if he ever chose to break his promises.