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Part IV- Imprint

Chapter 5- The party (part 2)

Paul POV-

7:52….

7:59….

8:05….

"Paul"

A loud over excited shout came as I glanced at the watch on my left hand for possibly the tenth time in the past half hour to see how much time had passed since, well since the last time I checked my watch which was exactly six minutes back. Now I am not saying the party was boring, it could be worse you know… but to be honest this party was pretty much crap.

Now if there was something I had learnt well during my short few years in Pittsburgh it was the art of how to party and let loose. Call it being with the wrong crowd or call it just simple Yolo or Carpe Diem if you prefer but if there was something I had mastered all so quickly it was this. I could still remember the first parental unsupervised house party I had been to with Mackenzie who was older and so was versed with all the 'contacts' needed. The alcohol had been bootlegged by the host's older brother who somehow knew Mackenzie, how I could still not understand and got us in despite us or rather me not knowing anyone there and apart from it being my first as such party, that had also been my first stint with something illegal, the other illegal stuff though had happened over time but that's a story for another day. I had had a brief guilty moment taking that first ever drink of my life knowing how this same liquor had destroyed my old man's life and any family I was suppose to have growing up but then I had looked and noticed that there were many like me around who drank to cover, to hide and to forget and with that in mind I had gulped it down in one go. The hangover the next morning had not been pretty to say but then again which hangover was in life.

But not every time or every party after that was to forget, sometimes it was just to have plain fun and trust me with the right people or at least those who seem right in a out of control party, time can fly, like literally fly and Cherry was one of those people, a wild party animal just like me or maybe even worse than me. Seriously that girl was a creature of the night who survived for this, her fix as she had termed it early on in life. I was not that bad or at least I had succeeded in convincing myself of this.

And this party was no doubt too tame for my tastes. I took a sip of the root beer in my hand, the only thing available in a non BYOB party as I noticed the others dance or just chat around in their own small groups of three, four or five. I could see Jared and Kim dance to the slow track currently playing for some reason in this boring as fuck party, with their arms wrapped around one another and their eyes interlocked in a loving embrace and somehow I managed to keep myself from gagging at the sight, a miracle perhaps?

Now you will ask me the million dollar question of why was I still here then. I could have easily hightailed at any point of time in these past few hours but shockingly I was still here and the reason for that was simple.

Really Simple, Just two words actually- Isabella Marie Uley, my ex best friend turned stranger who seemed to have no time to talk to me away from when we were in school surrounded by a crowd of people who were far more interested in another's personal life than necessary and to be honest the brief conversation that the both of us had had in school yesterday had been fucking painful and awkward. It was more of the customary hi, hello, bye than otherwise and on all occasions be it before school in the parking lot or during Lunch when we had sat at the same table or after school when each one of us was bidding the other goodbye in a matter of being necessarily civil, our conversations had been short and terribly awkward as if we were two hardly knowing the other acquaintances who were forced to exchange pleasantries with the other under the pretense of being nice and I did not like it, a bit.

I know I know it was my fault that I ruined our friendship and I was the one responsible for us having drifted apart and maybe I had not thought of the consequences or how it would have affected Bella when I had taken this action all those years back but all I was asking for was one chance to put my side forward and try to explain things but ever since I had returned back I had been and was still waiting for this one chance and let me tell you it was not due to my lack of trying but ever since I had returned I had hardly seen either hide or hair of Bella. She was never on either of the beaches which were a regular for her once upon a time or at her home where one would normally expect to find her, I had tried calling even at the odd hours or at Kim's home which was again one of her frequently visited places growing up, I had tried seeing for her from a distance though while passing like I would go any close to that capricious sprite Kim to ask her of Bella's whereabouts and neither had she been attending school. I had heard from the gossip mongers that Bella had quit her job in some bookstore in Port Angeles too and so the big question had been that where on earth was she if not at home? I had a brief suspicion that maybe she was in Forks with Sam and Leah but knowing how over protective Sam had been way back when I lived here, I really was not willing to be around him for a minute longer than necessary though the fleeting thought of her living in Forks and spending every awake moment of hers with that loser boyfriend of hers had left me growling under my breath.

If I was sure of one thing though in life, it was that I was loyal. I may have been a cocky sometimes over smart kind of guy but I was loyal to the ones I considered friends or as close as family to a tee. I fought for them, sometimes even with them but you get the point and stood by them through thick and thin or at least that was what I thought I did.

Bella had been an exception to that behavior of mine. No doubt she had been my once annoying enemy turned friend turned best friend over the years but now we were back to strangers, back to square one.

At least we were not starting off as enemies or people who could hardly stand the other this time around, I thought a bit relieved. An inaudible chuckle left my mouth as the past memories of our childhood drifted through my mind leaving all of its glory behind for me to reminisce about.

How much had we disliked the other after the first meeting we had had as two kids playing on the beach with me being new to the res. She was weird and too much of a stickler for good behavior in my eyes and I was the bad boy who believed in breaking rules and our subsequent friendship had always been a mystery. Even while growing up she was the one who kept me in line and saved my ass probably a million times from being suspended or even worse getting kicked out of school because of my rude outspoken or as I put it opinionated outlook in life of calling a spade a spade while in return I showed her that sometimes in life letting go and just taking the minute as it passed was not such a bad thing. You didn't always need to be prepared or even right in life. It was okay to be wrong or unprepared for what life throws in front of you at times. Being Spontaneous was not that bad and what people think of you does not necessarily matter always.

And so somehow against all odds our friendship had matured and from a girl who became my casual friend, who I slowly learnt to trust and more importantly like she became my best friend and the one person who I knew I could trust completely, also while I made sure that she was happy and safe. A smiling Bella, a happy Bella was a beautiful Bella, just like her name and exactly how I liked her to be.

And yeah so like I said I was still waiting for that once chance to tell her that I had messed up, big time. Yeah, I knew that I had been that cliché stereotypical guy who had dumped his friend for a girl he thought he had loved but later on realized that it had only been infatuation which he had mistook for more, no matter the fact that said friend was another girl and so I could not even use the line 'Bros before Hoes' out loud.

I smirked at my own lame joke as I shook my head. It was immature I knew but still it was funny… well at least in my mind.

"Paul" whined a clingy whiny voice coming close to where I stood with a lunatic grin on my face as I applauded my own damn sense of humor that cracked senseless jokes ninety percent of the time though completely in the periphery of my mind. Thank God for small miracles though, a man still has to keep his repute you know.

"Jane" I said in a monotone not even trying to hide the fact that I was least interested in talking to her and could think of a million other things to do other than this like for example find Bella, talk to her and then get the hell out of here.

"Paul baby" she purred in what I assume was her seductive voice which honestly made me barf, as she attempted to wrap her arms around my torso clinging to me like I was the last life boat available and her ship was about to sink mid the Atlantic "I called your name a few minutes back trying to get your attention but I guess you were distracted" she said running her cold hand filled with ridiculously fake nails over my cheek making me cringe away.

I barely managed to let out a breath trying to pull myself out from this painful death grip and after a few painful and embarrassing attempts I finally managed to get her to loosen her grip on me and pushed her a few steps back making a reasonable space between us which from her face was not really appreciated by her, but then again her loss not mine.

"Paul Baby" she pouted annoyingly "Is something the matter?"

"What do you want?" I asked already irritated with this conversation and wishing for it to end well pronto.

She glared at me "I wanted to ask if you wanted a repeat of that night that I assume was the best of your life but if you are not interested then fine, your loss"

I scoffed best of my life, like really? I was not one to kiss and tell but seriously it had only lasted a few minutes with her and that's definitely not a best.

"No thanks" I said with a rude smirk a bit louder than necessary "Not interested"

Jane glared at me, probably at my loud tone as she noticed that our conversation had gained a few spectators who were anticipatorily waiting for us to continue and give them some awaited gossip that was rare to find in this never changing small reservation.

I shrugged as she turned to look or rather glare at the entire staring crowd before she roughly pulled me by the hand through the mass of crowd assembled towards a curiously empty area a bit far from where we had originally been and where even the earlier soft now loud music playing could not be heard.

"I did not hear you clearly earlier because of the music. What did you say?" she asked feigning ignorance when we finally stopped and faced one another. Her eyes were still hopeful as if she was waiting or rather offering me the chance to change my words and say what she wanted to hear.

"I said no thanks. I am not interested in your offer. I will give it a pass" I said concisely with a nod and a simple firm smile placed on my face.

"What" she gaped at me like a fish out of water as if completely taken aback by my answer, her mouth opened and closed a few times before her approach completely changed and she once again wrapped her death grip of a hand around my neck pulling me closer to her as I cringed to get away.

"Are you sure that I can't change your answer?" she asked seductively pressing a brief kiss to my closed mouth before pulling back and winking at me. I roughly pushed her away ignoring the feeling of guilt that had had arisen within my chest all of a sudden and was now trying to cripple me.

I had not cheated on anyone dammit. Why the fuck did it feel like I had just cheated on someone and was terribly apologetic and guilty for my infidelity and unfaithfulness. I felt like crap even without doing anything to deserve it and I ran a hand through my hair in agitation.

"What the hell was that Paul" shouted Jane looking extremely angry at being pushed away.

"Look, just go" I said waving in the direction of the party with my hand "I definitely don't want a 'repeat' of that night as you put it. Leave me alone"

She scoffed in disgust "As if a dog like you would even deserve it. I was just being nice here and working for something that would benefit the both of us. I needed a release. It has been a while and you are always willing so…" she trailed off.

Hey! Dogs are loyal and said to be man's best friend so shouldn't that really be a compliment? I pondered in curiosity.

Oh wait while we are on the topic of release… yeah it has definitely been a while for me too…

I thought about the last time that I had been with someone and reached the conclusion that it had been with Jane only, months back which was the longest it had ever been for me. I didn't know what had happened after that but even kissing another felt like cheating and I would pull back abruptly as if I had been burnt and it did not happen only once or twice, it was always there whenever I even tried to flirt with a random or not so random girl.

I had tried for more once though not one to quit easily, one day in Port Angeles more than a month back. After an uncomfortable date where I had tried my best to hide the fact that I felt extremely guilty for god knows what reason and wanted to run out of there, the girl Julieet with an extra 'e' I think, had taken me back to her place giving me an unexpected striptease which I would have found extremely arousing on any other day but on that day it had done nothing for me… nothing… nada…zilch.

We had then taken things to the bedroom despite my earlier embarrassment, where not so little Paul Jr. who had never embarrassed me before and who I was really proud of for his past achievements had turned out to be my biggest enemy on that unfortunate day.

Let's just say that on that day things had not looked up for me if you catch my drift.

I had very soon left Julieet's place after that keeping my head low with a confused look on my face, confusion at what the fuck had just happened and even Julieet's uncomfortable attempt at reassurance saying that stuff like this happened at times and it was probably just stress did nothing to comfort me.

I was annoyed and irritated and had absolutely no idea why I couldn't even flirt anymore without feeling like complete shit and a failure through and through.

And so let's just say in a few words that since that day my hand and I had become very good friends.

"So who is she?" Jane asked raising an eyebrow in question and with jealousy and clear resentment evident in her voice.

"Excuse me?" I asked confused at her question. Who was who?

"Who is this girl because of whom you are rejecting me? What does she have that I can't give you? Is she better in bed than me?"

I looked at her in disbelief. Was she serious? How could someone be this full of themselves?

"Are you just delusional or are you completely insane?" I asked in return as she scowled at me

"Firstly there is nobody in my life and even if there was it is none of your fucking business and secondly you knew this that whatever we did was a onetime thing. You wanted it as much as me and you consented to it too and so don't behave like a possessive girlfriend when you never were one and just because I am not with anyone does not mean that I want to be with you. It was just a onetime thing and I definitely don't want a repeat of it"

She glared at me muttering under her breath as she shook her head "I don't believe this" "Paul Lahote, no one rejects me and gets away with it. I will get back at you for this insult. You just wait for it"

Saying this she walked away while I rolled me eyes at the fact that I had apparently hurt her fragile ego with my honest words but then again what is true is true isn't it?

I had placed my head in my hands for a few seconds in annoyance and with exhaustion which had begun to give me a headache, when I heard a familiar soft voice.

"Hey, you okay"

I looked up and our eyes met. Hers filled with trust and acceptance instantly making me feel better from the earlier shit like feeling I had been going through.

"I just saw Jane going. Is this a bad time to talk?" Bella asked nervously pointing in the direction of where Jane had just disappeared. Her voice held apprehension and hesitance and I instantly shook my head with a shrug.

"Jane is just delusional" I said in nonchalance making it a statement.

She nodded her head almost like she was in agreement of my earlier statement.

"You look tired" she commented after a few minutes of silence.

"I feel like shit" I responded instantly adding "Sorry a bit of a heavy day. Have a lot on mind"

"Tell me about it" she whispered with a sigh. I could see that she was upset and it physically pained me to see her sad or worried.

"You okay?" I asked in sudden worry, my insides burning in anger demanding to go and hurt whoever dared to hurt her and was the reason for her current mood.

She gave a slow unsure nod "Yeah… I guess it will be okay with time. Things will get better…"

I nodded my head, quite not willing to leave the subject but knowing that Bella would not be comfortable with sharing more than this with the current hesitance evident in her tone.

"So I have actually wanted to talk to you properly without any unwanted passerby for some time now" I said putting a brave face on, after a rather nervous cough.

"Yeah I have been busy, sorry" she said apologetically almost as if she really meant every word of it.

"Yeah so…" I trailed off not knowing how to start. Why was this so tough? This was Bella, it shouldn't be this tough and it definitely wasn't when I had told Cherry everything, from how Mackenzie had befriended me barely a month after I moved to Pittsburgh to how we had started 'dating' and how acting like a possessive girlfriend she had asked me to dump my old friend only because she thought that I was cheating on her with Bella and like a foolish coward I had done so, only to realize that Mackenzie had made a fool of me all throughout.

"Earth to Paul" said Bella in amusement with a small smile gracing her face "Where were you lost"

I shook my head reciprocating a small smile "I actually wanted to clear the air of why I stopped replying to your mails when I first left La Push four years back. I know I owe you the answer and you definitely deserve to know what had happened and…" I took a deep breath stopping for a few seconds trying to frame the next sentence in my mind.

"It is okay Paul" she said softly in an understanding tone "Like you said I do definitely want to know why but I am ready to wait till you are ready to say so"

I nodded my head in gratitude knowing how brave and patient Bella was being at the moment but this had to be done now. It had been a long time coming.

"I have to get it out. Please just don't interrupt me. Let me finish" I said as she nodded her head and gestured for me to continue.

With a long deep breath I began to tell her how barely after a month of moving to Pittsburgh I had met Mackenzie Jacob who had been nearly two years older than me and was a popular cheerleader in school and how I had been attracted to her and foolishly believed that what I was feeling was love instead of just a ridiculous hormonal crush.

With a sigh I told her of how I had never expected Mackenzie to like me back but how after a daring move of a kiss, our 'friendship' had progressed to more and we had started dating and how I had thrived at the fact that because of being with her, I had suddenly become the most popular and sought after boy in school.

Bella listened quietly, tightening her fists in anger and pain when I spoke of how Mackenzie acted like she was jealous of Bella and our closeness and how she had demanded that if I wanted my relationship with her to survive I stop talking to Bella and how I had been a fool to do so thinking that I was in love and what I had with Mackenzie was real and so I had done it for her. I then told Bella of how mere weeks later I had found out that she had been playing with me and all she felt towards me was sexual. She had never loved me and all I had been for her was a great lay.

When I finished telling Bella of my side of the story, I finally looked up meeting her eyes which were filled with anger, insecurity, shock and even disbelief and I knew immediately that getting her to forgive me was not going to be as easy as I had earlier expected.

"Say something" I pleaded after a few heavy moments of daunting silence between us.

She opened her mouth to answer me before a deep painful cry from another direction grabbed our attention and the both of us turned to see from where it had come.

A weeping Leah Clearwater came out from the coverage of the trees a minute later and it looked like she was barely managing to keep herself together. Her arms were wrapped around her torso with her makeup completely smudged due to the sobs she was in and her hair a complete mess.

"Leah" Bella ran to where Leah now stood looking completely broken and so far from the Leah Clearwater I had seen growing up.

"He kissed her, Bella" mumbled Leah in broken hiccups "They were passionately kissing… I saw them"

"Who" asked Bella in mild confusion and almost in a whisper as if she was scared to hear what the answer was.

"Sam and Emily" broke down Leah grabbing her head in her hands and falling to the ground as Bella tried to console her by sitting next to her on the ground and supporting her by wrapping an arm around the weeping Leah.

"Let's take you home. This is all just a misunderstanding I am sure of it. You need to talk to Sam and solve it. It is not what it looks like" said Bella after a few minutes of silence, I could hear the fear and worry in her normally calm voice that was almost on the verge of trembling due to shock.

And even I was a bit shocked by the turn of events. Sam Uley had never seemed the kind to cheat on his girlfriend and he and Leah had been together for so long that it was a bit surprising to hear of this.

Bella kept consoling Leah as I looked at them feeling like I was trespassing and should leave but my feet refused to budge from the place where I had been standing.

Leah shook her head in fury "Not where Sam lives. I can't… I just can't, not now"

Bella nodded her head "Okay let's go back to my place for now"

Leah accepted that and Bella soon helped her in getting up and they started to walk in the direction of what I recognized as Bella's house. A few steps into their walk Bella turned to look at me with a silent nod conveying that she was sorry for the interruption and telling me that we would talk about this later but for now her family needed her she left and though she did not let it out, I knew that she needed time to think too and so now all I had to do was wait.

But isn't that the hardest thing to do?