Carlos' POV
Yesterday was a day from hell. Mama was hysterical, waiting to hear from Mariela. Fortunately, she was finally able to get a call through at about two, asking to be picked up in Jersey City. My father left work to retrieve her. Then, Tia Celia called, saying that Lester had a meeting in the North Tower that morning, and she couldn't reach him. The fucker didn't think to call his mother until almost ten. Said he collapsed on his bed when he finally made it home after walking from Herald Square. He claims he tried calling, but the cell towers were down. When asked why he didn't use his landline at home, he said he didn't think of it. Dumb ass.
I still can't believe what happened. I mean, it's like a scene from a bad movie. My sister spent half the night crying. She's not sure if she can ever go back to that school and teach again. I hope that she does, though. Being around others who witnessed what she witnessed will be good for her. Stephanie, my Babe, kept me anchored. I was on the verge of losing control, but she was able to calm me. With the chaos around us, several of the seniors in the top platoon and some of the faculty spent the day guarding the campus. Classes were canceled, and we were ordered to stay with our platoon in designated common areas. We were allowed to retreat to our dorms. Since it is forbidden for any cadet to date, Stephanie and I keep our relationship secret. We are friends on campus. The most we share is the occasional hug or a kiss on the cheek. When we are on break, visiting home, then we spend our time together as a couple. It's hard being so close, but yet so far.
The men's and women's dorms are strictly off-limits to members of the other sex outside of the common room on the first level. The stairwells and elevators are monitored, so no one can sneak up. Studying together as a group is allowed, and we are encouraged to spend the limited downtime bonding with the platoon. We were fortunate to be placed in the same platoon on that first evening of freshman orientation; otherwise, we'd be virtual strangers on campus. Bobby and Cal, who we meet that day along with John "Ram" Ramsey, became my best friends. They infer that Steph and I are still a couple, but they never ask, and we don't tell. If they don't know, they can't get in trouble for not telling. Jay and Frank round out my crew, and Steph has three close girlfriends, Jill, Allison, and MacKenzie.
Steph excels at containing bombs, as well as making them. She has the logical mind and instincts needed to do well in both. When she first arrived here, she was called 'Jersey,' her moniker given to her in Miami. Since our explosives class, she has a new nickname, 'Bomber.' Steph prefers Jersey but will answer to both. You learn very quickly here that people will call you the nickname they are most comfortable with, not the one you necessarily like.
Spending the day with Stephanie in our common area, with the rest of our friends, kept me centered. The officials are aware that my grandmother was my guardian, as well as Steph's guardian. We lived together as a family, so that is the only reason why we are in the same platoon. If they knew what our relationship really was about, then we'd be separated. An upperclassman told us on that first day of freshman orientation to break up or leave. We chose to "break up." It means we are careful around campus, but we wouldn't change a thing, In some respects, this is preparing us for after graduation, when we are likely to be separated for months, if not years, at a time.
Steph stays with me until curfew when she had to return to her own dorm. As much as I would have preferred to spend the night making passionate love, reaffirming our love for each other and trying to reiterate that we are alive and well, I know that is forbidden. We spoke on the phone until we were about to fall asleep, then I called her the moment I woke up. Dios, I miss waking up with Steph. Only two more years to go.
The attacks yesterday have me thinking about going into Ranger's school. I thought about it a while ago, but then I decided I didn't want to commit that much time to the Army. But now, considering the attack on our country, I want to do whatever I can to pay back those SOBs who so cowardly attacked us yesterday. I'm not sure what Steph is going to say. I mean, I'm sure she'll support me, but I know that it would not be something she wants from me. Steph and I have talked about starting a business of some sort together, using the skills we're learning as part of the Army, but I don't know now. Maybe that dream will come later down the line. I glance at the clock, knowing I need to get ready for our morning PT.
I take a shower, then put on my fatigues. It's nice knowing what I'm wearing every day without having to think about it. My closet is ruthlessly organized because room inspection can happen at any time of the day or night. Last year, two freshman cadets were expelled because they were caught in a compromising position when relationships between cadets are strictly forbidden. My hair, which I used to wear long, is so short I don't need to worry about drying it. They take the term 'crew-cut' to a whole new level. I don't think there's any fuzz on my hear. Fortunately, Steph doesn't mind. She, other the other hand, perfected her bun. The first couple of weeks we were here, she had difficulty getting her hair to stay. It got so bad that she was scheduled for a hair cut when MacKenzie showed her how to get her hair into a tight bun. She's learned that leaving her hair a little longer makes it easier. I rarely see her curls down anymore and miss running my hands through her hair. That's one of the things I look forward to when we go home for the holidays.
I report to the dining hall with the rest of my platoon at precisely 0615 for breakfast. We sit at our assigned tables, discussing a few last-minute points for some of our classes later on today. With our majors being so varied, we often sit next to different people each day. My major is Defense and Strategic Studies with a minor in Grand Strategy. Steph is majoring in American Politics with a minor in Terrorism Studies. It seems like her minor just became a hell of a lot more important. I glance at Steph, is talking to Jimmy and Kurt, who are in her first class today, and I can tell that she's not right. Something is wrong. I'm sure it has to do with yesterday's events, except I don't know what her breaking point will be.
Since I won't see her until lunch, I make it my business to leave the dining hall with her. "Are you okay? Yesterday was a stressful day."
"I'm not sure, Manoso. I'm not sure if this is where I truly belong. I think I'm going to try to talk to my advisor today. I don't know if I can finish. Look, I need to get to class. I'll see you at lunch."
She practically ran off, blowing me off in the process. Shit. I can see some of the vestiges of the Stephanie from the Burg emerging, dominating her new, more self-assured Miami Stephanie. I hope her advisor can convince her to stay. She's the top-performing female and ranked twentieth in the class. I only hope she'll call me later tonight to tell me what's going on.
After morning classes, I head to the dining hall for lunch. I see Steph, calling out to her. "Jersey, wait up." She pauses, waiting for me to catch up. "What's going on?"
"I don't know if I can continue. It's just too much. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I need to be alone, I need to think. I haven't been this unsure about anything since I first arrived in Miami."
"Does this have anything to do with what happened yesterday?"
"It has everything to do with yesterday's events. I know you, I can see it in your eyes, you're going to go for the Rangers. It's your dream, and you need to face these assholes in the front and center. I respect that, but that isn't me. I won't try to stop you, but I don't know if I can wait here, alone on the sidelines, wondering if I'll ever see you again, wondering if all our plans will ever come true. Carlos, you are all I ever wanted, all I ever needed, but I see you need the Army. I don't want to fight this war. I don't want to go overseas. We entered West Point when we weren't at war. Now we are. I didn't sign up for this."
I feel my heart breaking into a million pieces. I've never seen Steph look so defeated. Her spark is gone, her happiness is gone. I glance around, seeing that no one is close enough to hear us.
"I won't go into the Rangers if it means that much to you. You are more important."
"I won't allow you to regret our choice in the future. I won't allow you to ever resent me because I stopped you from doing what you needed to do. Carlos, I love you. Look, I have a meeting with my advisor in twenty. I need to go. I'll talk to you later."
She turned quickly, heading towards the academic offices. I hope that Steph can see that she can play a valuable role in this fight. She needs this, just as much as I do, though she doesn't see it yet.