Dick: All I'm saying is that Slytherin is perfect for you!

Jason: yeah, and Ravenclaw isn't an option?

Wait... what?

Dick: wait a second... are we even getting the houses right?

Jason: I don't think so.

What's going on?

Tim: ok, we were trying to put ourselves in Harry Potter houses, but the problem is that we don't quite know what the requirements are for any of the houses.

Dick: wait, the Slytherin is the bad guys, right?

Not necessarily... I mean, my brother is a Slytherin. Actually, do you guys need help with the houses?

Dick, Tim, JasonL yes.

Ok, let's just... Dick is Hufflepuff, Jason is Slytherin, Tim is Ravenclaw, and Damian is Gryffindor.

Jason: how did you-?

I'll explain later. Let's stop boring these DC people with Harry Potter stuff.

Guys, if you were looking for a Christmas special, I had one written up. It just didn't quite fit with the tone of the story, and, quite frankly, I didn't feel like rewriting it. If you wanna read it, it's called "The Christmas Bat."

Also, heads up, this isn't quite a chapter. This is more of an "intermission." Just... what happens without anything to do at the Manor.

Well, I hope you en-

Dick: wait, I have something to say!

Ok, what?

Dick: I just wanted to say...… it was all Jason's fault.

Jason: you little-!

Once upon a time-

"Tuck and roll!"

Clark burst through the door, cradling something in his arms.

"Clark? What's going-?"

Diana ran through the door next and tackled Clark, trying to grab whatever was in his arms.

"Let go!"

"Never!"

"Clark, don't make me-!"

"Hands off!"

Oliver and Barry walked through the now destroyed door next, looking very embarrassed and highly apologetic.

"Uh… sorry about the door…" Barry said. Oliver picked it up as if he was going to try putting it back in place.

"It's all good. Just gives us an excuse for the house being a mess," Dick told him. They turned their attention back to Clark and Diana.

"Let go, Clark!"

"Never!"

"Clark, come-OW! DID YOU JUST BITE ME?!'"

"No, it was him!"

"GET OFF!"

A somewhat high-pitched voice shouted from Clark's enclosed arms, and out stumbled a younger Bruce, looking disheveled.

"WHAT THE HELL, CLARK?!"

"Uh…"

Clark finally had the grace to look embarrassed.

"W-well…"

"Someone makes ONE little death threat on TV, and all of a sudden, you feel the need to KIDNAP ME and DRAG ME back HOME?"

"Uh…"

"And YOU-"

He pointed at Diana this time.

"First of all, try keeping him in line, all right princess? And SECONDLY, you SHOULDN'T TACKLE SOMEONE that's just KIDNAPPED a person! It could do more DAMAGE than GOOD."

"Bruce?" Dick asked. Bruce turned his angry glare on him.

"WHAT?! And DON'T ASK why I'm a KID."

"Nevermind, then…"

"How old are you?" Damian asked.

"13. Because SOMEONE decided to switch out the gun the threatener was going to use with the gun the Penguin stole just as he pulled the trigger," Bruce answered, shooting a pointed glare at Clark.

"S-sorry," Clark stuttered. He was scared of Batman, and, to a point, of Bruce Wayne. Bruce as a child? If Crane's fear gas was a person, it would be an angry little Bruce Wayne.

"Don't worry, Brucie," Dick told him with a smirk.

"Don't call me that."

"We know how to get you back to normal, right guys?"

Damian nodded. He and Bruce could pass for twins. They were the same age (as of right now, anyway) look freakishly alike, seemed to have the same personality…

Holy shit. Damian was an exact mini-copy of his father. This realization made him want to run back upstairs. But he didn't. Instead, he grabbed Bruce by the arm, and before anyone could say anything, was down in the bat cave.

Dick got an idea and whispered something in Mari's ear. She nodded and the two walked into the kitchen. Kory looked at who was remaining and did the smart thing.

"I'm gonna leave. Call me when you guys aren't gonna do something stupid. "

Now it was just an awkward silence.

"So… do we just stand here, or…?" Tim asked. Jason shrugged.

"Let's go out and get something to eat."

"But we just ate," Roy pointed out. Wally giggled.

"I'm a speedster… I need a LOT of food."

"Same," Barry agreed. Everyone looked at Roy with pleading eyes.

"Fine, but Clark is paying."

"Hey," Clark protested, but everyone was already out the door.

"Sure, make me pay," Clark grumbled. "I'm not the one who's rich."

Dick and Mari waited for everyone to leave before talking.

"I know you know," Dick said to her.

"What do I know?"

"You know I know you know."

"Depends on what I know."

"Ah, but we have to be careful. If we openly state what I know you know, someone could hear it, and then other people would know what we know that you know. You know?"

"Yeah, I know."

The two burst into laughter.

"Did Damian bring grandpa to the cave?"

"Yep."

"How long have you known that I know?"

"I've known for quite a while. How long have you known?"

"About a day."

"And you're totally cool with it?"

"Sure," Mari said with a shrug. "I mean, you're a cop, so it's not hard to believe what you do at night."

Dick snickered.

"What?"

"You can fly!"

Mari smiled and rose a couple feet. Dick's grin spread.

"That is so cool. Does your mom know?"

Mari landed again.

"No. I only found out about it last night."

"You know what we should do?" Dick asked her. Her smiled faded.

"What?"

"We should troll your mom."

Mari's smile returned.

"In what way?"

"She doesn't know about your powers," Dick said, as if he was thinking of a plan to take out a villain, which Mari thought was super cool. "She also doesn't know that you know what the Night Shift is. So, if we joke around, vaguely mention the different powers you have-"

"But what powers do I have?" Mari asked. "All I know is that I can fly."

"Then we need to find out," Dick told her. "Your mom has all sorts of powers, but I'm not sure if you have all of them."

"Ok," Mari said. She was excited for this.

"First of all, your mom has super-strength. Not as much as Superman, but she's still seriously strong for the average human."

"Strength? Are you kidding me?" Mari asked disbelievingly. "She can barely open a pickle jar."

"But that's to hide the fact that she has powers," Dick said. "Like how Clark wears glasses to hide the fact that he's Superman."

"Wait," Mari interrupted. "All Superman does is put on a pair of glasses and suddenly he's unrecognizable?"

"I know, right?" Dick asked, trying not to laugh (and failing miserably.)

"I don't know what's sadder… the fact that it works, or the fact that I fell for it, too."

Dick started snickering, and Mari slapped his arm playfully. Dick cleared his throat, effectively cutting off his laughter.

"Ok, try and pick me up. She once said that she needs to feel the anger of… a thousand somethings to activate the star bolts, but maybe calling on anger will activate strength, too."

Mari shrugged and picked him up easily.

"HOW AM I DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?!" She screamed. Dick was laughing and whooping like a little kid. Mari set him down on the floor, laughing along with her dad.

"What other powers does mom have?"

Dick smirked at her.

"Let's take this into the upstairs training room."

"Father, what exactly happened?" Damian asked Bruce. He was almost back to full age, now-well, kinda. He was in his early 30s.

"Ah, just another assassination attempt. Clark heard it coming, switched into his Superman outfit, and arrived just as the dude was pulling the trigger. He flew off, found the penguin's kid blaster, switched it out, and I got turned into a 13 year old. He tied the guy up, decided a 13 year old Bruce Wayne should not be seen in public, kidnapped me and took me home, but the other Leaguers had already heard what happened, Diana wanted to see me as a kid, cause last time she saw me as a kid she thought I was adorable, but Clark figured he would spare me the torment and take me straight home."

"Oh. So, it was quite the busy day, huh?"

"Seems like you guys had a handful yourselves," Bruce told him with a smirk. Damian's face flushed red. "How much did you give him?"

"Seven cups…"

"How much cream cheese is in the fridge?"

Damian was now confused.

"Um… all of it?"

Bruce breathed a sigh of relief.

"Anyone get stuck to the ceiling?"

"Drake and Todd. Todd was wrapped in plastic wrap and glued, and Drake's jacket was stapled… with him still in it."

"And you?"

Damian started fidgeting his hands. Bruce gasped.

"You got the glitter treatment?"

Damian nodded.

"The others would laugh their heads off if-"

"Are you kidding? You should never, ever, ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever trust Dick with glitter… especially when he's drunk, on a sugar-rush, or high."

"High?" Damian asked.

"A lot of assassination attempts."

"Oh."

"So, how much longer until I'm older than Dick?"

Damian smirked.

"Maybe about... another 5 years?"

Bruce smirked as well.

"Fine by me. It just means that Dick has 5 years to come up with some good revenge."

Damian panicked a bit and looked at the computer again.

"Oh! Oh, looky here-nope, sorry, I got it wrong. Nah, it's only 10 minutes. So sorry, didn't mean to get it wrong..."

"And two cheeseburgers."

Jason took the order, thanked the guy, and walked back over to their table. Wally and Roy weren't letting them live down their sugar fiasco of a prank, Tim was trying to melt into the table, and... ok, well, we already knew what Jason was doing. Barbara walked to the table, having successfully grabbed some napkins.

"We might need twice as many as you have," Tim informed her.

"But I have 10."

"But you're dealing with us," Jason reminded her, putting a hand on her shoulder. She sighed and walked off again.

"Where's the food?" Wally asked Jason. He sat down.

"Won't be ready for another 5 minutes."

"But this is McDonald's," Tim said. "I thought they pre-made the food."

"Apparently not," Jason said. Barbara walked back to the table.

"There. 20 napkins."

"Where are the girls?" Jason asked.

"Oh. They're at school."

"School?" Tim asked. Diana sighed.

"Just because Damian doesn't go to school doesn't mean other Leaguers don't send their kids to school."

"Wait... so that means that Jon goes to school?" Jason asked Clark with a smirk on his face. Clark blushed.

"Well, sure. He needs to get a good education to graduate and get a good job."

Tim smirked, now, and Roy glared at them.

"Man, I can't wait to tell Damian. He'll tease the crap out of that poor kid," Tim said.

"Why is getting a good education something to be teased at?" Oliver asked.

"It's not... but everything we know we learned from Bat-, uh, Bruce," Jason informed him.

"That explains a lot," Roy said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Tim asked. Wally looked up and grinned.

"Food's here!"

Jason leaned close to Tim and whispered, "Probably just saved his life."

Dick and Mari had tested as hard as the training room could go. They experimented with all the powers Kory had, including some that they wanted to try out just for fun.

Mari had all the same powers as Kory, including the learning-languages-through-lip-contact power, which made Dick uncomfortable, but whatever.

Otherwise, she could fly, had super-strength, was fast, could shoot starbolts, laser-eyes, heck, she could catch on fire!

Ok, she couldn't do that... but it would have been AWESOME!

Ok, sorry, back to the story. I got carried away. Carry on.

"That was awesome!" Mari exclaimed. Dick grinned at her.

"So, what do you wanna play around with?"

"ALL OF THEM."

The two burst into laughter. When they calmed down, Mari flew onto her dad's shoulders.

"Hey, dad..."

"Yeah?" Dick asked.

"Mom had this nickname for me... do you know what it means?"

"Well, what's the nickname?"

"Starshine."

Dick thought for a moment. Oh, boy, this was a lot to explain.

"Well, ok. Promise me you'll at least try to understand."

"Promise."

Dick took a deep breath.

"Ok. Your mom is from another planet-Tamaran, in the Vega Star system. How she came to Earth is a VERY difficult thing to explain, and maybe something that can wait for another day. Anyway, they speak a different language called Tamaranian. I can speak it fluently, because she taught me.

"Um... Your name, Mari, is Mar'i with an apostrophe before the "I" means two things in Tamaranian. Either Starshine, or Nightstar. We thought that if you ever found out about us being superheroes and decided to join us, you could go by Nightstar."

"It's a combination of Nightwing and Starfire, right?" Mari asked. Dick nodded. They were silent for a moment before Mari gasped.

"Wait. What do you mean 'decided to join you?'"

Dick turned and smirked at her. He lowered her gently to the ground.

"Well... we figured that if you got powers, you would decide to use them. Well, me being a Bat, I thought ahead, and with Kory's help..."

Mari was bouncing up and down now.

"Doyouhaveasuitforme?!"

Dick's smirk turned into a big, genuine smile. Mari squealed with joy and hugged him. She launched into the air and flew around until she was dizzy.

"There. Back to normal."

Bruce stretched and stood up from his bed thing. He turned to the stairs and saw Dick coming down, Mari resting on his shoulders. Damian looked panicked again. When Dick caught sight of his face, he burst into laughter.

"What's wrong, Dami?" he asked.

"Uh..."

Mari smiled at him.

"Hi, Uncle Damian!"

Damian looked at a loss for words. Even Bruce let out a chuckle.

"What... wait... how?"

Mari smirked at him and flew off her dad's shoulders. Damian's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. Dick started laughing harder.

A call came in on Bruce's phone. The laughter quieted down, but Bruce's smile was still visible.

"Hello?"

Silence in the cave as Bruce's face fell.

"Wait... what? How did that... Dick?"

Bruce and Dick locked eyes. Bruce sighed.

"Understood."

Bruce hung up and turned to Dick.

"Gordan says to get your uniform. Apparently, someone is in trouble and Officer Grayson is needed on the scene."

"I KNOW MY RIGHTS!"

"Sir, if you could please-"

"No way, you're in the wrong!"

"Sir, just calm down-"

"Put your gun away, Mister Officer!"

A sharp whistle rang through the area.

"What is going on here?"

Jason, Tim, Barbara, Clark, Diana, Oliver, Barry, Wally, and Roy turned to see Dick, arms crossed, glaring at each of them in turn.

The police officers they "communicating with" all turned to him in shock. When Tim looked past Dick's shoulder, he could see Bruce, Damian, and Mari all looking angry as well.

"Officer Grayson, these 9-"

"Just tell me what happened, please."

"I got this," Jason interrupted. In an overly dramatic voice, he said, "Officer Grayson, I may not have a driver's license, but I do, in fact, have a Learner's permit. In fact, I will show it to you right this-"

"A piece of paper with the words "Learning, asshole" does not count as a learner's permit," Dick said, sticking his hand out. Jason sighed and put the car keys in his hand.

"When did you see it?"

"Five days ago when you tried pulling the same stunt," Dick told him. He handed the keys to Bruce.

"Why don't you take them home? I'll handle things here."

"Well, today was one heckuva day, wasn't it?" Jason asked. He got grounded for trying to trick police officers. Well, it could have been worse. Thankfully, Dick managed to keep him out of prison.

"Most of it was your fault, by the way," Dick reminded him. They had spent a good majority of the day (it was currently 11 at night) doing whatever they did. Now Bruce was in bed, Damian had fallen asleep in the car, Barbara ran over to the school to pick up Cass and Steph, Kory took Mari home... the only ones still up and about were Dick, Jason, Tim, and Alfred, who, after returning to an empty manor, decided to not bake any cookies for a whole week. You can guess how Jason felt about that.

"I know it was my fault. But it was all worth it."

"Head upstairs and get some sleep, Jason. We'll continue telling stories tomorrow."

"What's the next story again?"

"The North Wind and the Sun."

Dick: Bruce will always return.

Jason: …

Dick: what?

Tim: what are you talking about?

Dick: you don't wanna know.

I don't either.