Wolf Boy
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews! Have tissues handy, though I have tried to keep the angst to a minimum.
Part Twenty-Eight
"I'm so sorry." Bella whispered brokenly.
Jacob bent his head and kissed her forehead. "Bells, you have nothing to be sorry for." He murmured, moving closer to her. His hand rubbed circles on her stomach, so softly that she could barely even feel it.
"This is my fault." She cried, sobbing again.
Jacob shook his head fiercely and pushed himself away from her. Bella felt her heart breaking. But he was soon back carrying a blanket. He draped it around her shaking shoulders. "I'm gonna pick you up, okay."
It was Bella's turn to shake her head. She didn't want to move. "No, don't. Please don't." She whispered. The pain was so bad she felt sick. Jacob looked like he was in just as much pain as he fussed over her, trying to make her as comfortable as possible. He kept brushing her hair away from her face, kissing her gently, murmuring sweet words of love.
"Damn, where is the freaking ambulance?" He muttered after a while.
Just as he spoke, he heard sirens wailing in the distance. His face snapped to Bella's and he smiled weakly. "It's alright now, Bells, helps here. Everything is going to be fine." He said softly.
Bella met his steady gaze; his gorgeous eyes were tight with worry. She loved him so much. Jacob got up to open the front door. He came back with the paramedic following him.
"Don't you worry, love." The paramedic smiled warmly. "Just tell me where the pain is."
"In her stomach." Jacob answered for her.
"Okay." The paramedic had caught sight of the blood seeping down the leg of Bella's jeans. "Are you pregnant?" He said gently.
"No." Bella mumbled. "I'm on the pill."
"Okay." The paramedic didn't look convinced. He didn't question Bella anymore but gently coaxed her to remove her arms so he could take a closer look at her abdomen.
"My back's hurting and my hips." Bella gasped with the pain.
"Okay. Let's get you to the hospital. I'll check you over in the ambulance."
Jacob held her hand the whole way to the hospital, just watching her, not speaking. His face was a picture of guilt. Bella could see he was hurting badly. She could see the pain all over his features. She wished she could reach out and comfort him but all she could focus on was the pain. She had seen the disbelieving expression on the paramedic's face. He thought she was pregnant and in denial about it. But she couldn't be. She had followed the instructions on the pill packet religiously. Hadn't she?
Bella questioned herself all the way to the hospital as doubts began to set in. She had been pretty stressed lately. If by some chance she had messed up and gotten pregnant, then this meant she was miscarrying. She had unwittingly placed an innocent baby in harms way because she couldn't leave well enough alone. Jacob had asked her to stay away, but like always, she thought she knew best and had gone back to interfere.
This was her punishment for being so stubborn. When they reached the hospital, she was wheeled into a little cubicle and a doctor came almost immediately. "Okay, Bella, I'm just going to have a look and see if your cervix is open." He explained, pulling on some gloves.
Bella looked at Jacob, horrified, gripping his hand tighter. "Shh, everything's okay. I'm here. Everything's fine." He soothed, rubbing his free hand over her face gently.
Bella cried out as pain shot through her, making fresh tears fall as the doctor did his examination. Jacob leaned down and kissed her tears away softly, looking at her, heartbroken. She could see he was beginning to believe; he was beginning to believe she was pregnant. How could she not have known?
"I'm sorry, Bella, your cervix is open, you're miscarrying. We need to do a procedure to speed things along. You're still in the early stages, five weeks I'd say, so this is the easiest and safest way." The doctor said, throwing his blood smeared gloves away.
"What procedure?" Jacob asked.
"It's called an ERPC. It's a surgical procedure. It will need to be done under general anaesthetic and we'll remove all traces of the pregnancy." The doctor looked at Bella sadly.
"Is it safe?" Jacob whispered, gripping Bella's hand tighter.
The doctor nodded. "It's the safest way. We could leave it to expel itself over the next week or so, but that would come with a higher risk of infection. It's best for Bella if we remove it all quickly."
Tears poured out of Bella's eyes as she nodded in agreement. She wanted this over, she didn't want to be bleeding heavily for a week, especially if it was as painful as this the whole time. Jacob looked at her, waiting for her to say the words out loud. "Okay." She mumbled, closing her eyes.
"Right, well, I'll go and make sure there's an operating room free. It's a very quick procedure. You'll come back here after." The doctor stated, nodding at Jacob as he left quickly.
Bella sniffed and turned to Jacob. "I'm so sorry, Jake. This is all my fault."
Jacob shook his head fiercely. "Will you stop saying that? This isn't your fault. Stop blaming yourself. That asshole did this, not you." He bent over her and kissed her forehead softly.
"No. I shouldn't have come back. You told me to stay away. I should have listened to you and trusted that you could handle Trent." She sobbed, feeling her heart break all over again. "I swear I didn't know I was pregnant, Jake. If I did, I would never have put the baby in danger. I really didn't know."
Jacob climbed onto the bed carefully and wrapped his arms around her, trying not to jostle her. "None of this is your fault, you didn't hurt the baby, Bells. It's just one of those things. You're not to blame. If anything, this is my fault, I should never have provoked Trent like that." He said guiltily.
Bella shook her head and buried her face in his chest, clinging to him tightly, this wasn't his fault, none of it was his fault. It was the fucking supernatural world they were being forced to live in. They were young, they were carrying burdens they were never meant to bear. This had all started with the Cullens making the selfish decision to move to Forks. If they hadn't come and brought all their negative bullshit with them, then she wouldn't be lying in a hospital miscarrying right now. If she ever saw Edward again, she would spit in his face.
"I love you, Bells." Jacob whispered over and over in her ear, until the doctor came back and took her off to the operating room.
As soon as Bella was through the doors and out of Jacob's sight, he slumped onto the floor and put his head in his hands. His whole body was hurting. She was in so much pain and there was nothing he could do. They'd lost something precious today, something precious they didn't even know they were expecting, and for some idiotic reason she was blaming herself for that asshole doing this. He squeezed his hands into fists, pressing them into his eyes, trying not to think about Trent and what he had done. The more he thought about him, the more he wanted to get the hell out of here and rip his head off-but he couldn't do that. He needed to be here for Bella when she woke up. She didn't need anything else to worry about right now.
It hurt like hell to lose this baby. A perfect little baby that he imagined would be just like its momma in every way. He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall, waiting for Bella to come out. "I didn't even know about you until today, baby." He mumbled. "But even though I never got the chance to meet you, I want you to know you were loved."
Jacob barely even noticed when Charlie came and sat next to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Charlie. I didn't know she was pregnant; I swear. She lost it." He choked out.
"I know. I've spoken to the doctor." Charlie said gruffly. His arm tightened around Jacob's shoulders. "She'll be okay, Jake. You know why? Because she has us. We'll get through this, together, as a family."
Jacob felt his throat tighten in gratitude. He was surprised that Charlie wasn't kicking the crap out of him for getting his daughter pregnant, but to be honest, he couldn't care less if he had. The older man couldn't cause him any more pain than he already felt, the only one who could hurt him more than this was his Bella. She was the only one who had the power to kill him.
"Billy wanted to be here, but…." Charlie sighed, looking a little frustrated.
"Dad hates hospitals." Jacob said dully.
"It just reminds of him…."
"I know." Jacob blinked back tears and took a deep breath. "This was where they brought mom when she died."
"I'm sorry, kid." Charlie apologised. "I really am."
Charlie stayed with Jacob until they wheeled Bella out of surgery, she was still asleep from the anaesthetic. Jacob jumped up quickly, looking her over. "Is she alright?" He asked desperately, walking along the side of the bed as they pushed her down the hallway.
"Everything went well. We removed everything. She'll be fine. She should start to come around from the anaesthetic within the hour. We'll keep her in overnight, and let her go home tomorrow afternoon. She'll have to take it easy for a day or so." The doctor confirmed. His eyes darted to Charlie and he smiled. "Hey, Chief Swan."
"Hi, Dan. Thanks for looking after my little girl." Charlie thanked the doctor.
"Anytime." Dan motioned for Charlie to follow him. "Do you mind signing some papers?"
"Okay." Charlie agreed. He patted Jacob on the shoulder. "I'll be back soon, kid."
"Okay." Jacob followed Bella into the room they'd provided for her. He sat down beside her bed, holding her hand tightly, his worried eyes never leaving her face even for a moment.
After about forty minutes, Bella moved her hand in his. Jacob jumped up quickly as her eyes fluttered. "Hey, Bells." He murmured, stroking her face lightly, it was sore looking and was already starting to bruise where Trent had slapped her.
Bella turned her head in his direction but didn't open her eyes. "You didn't leave." She breathed softly.
She honestly thought he would leave her?
"Of course I didn't leave." He kissed her gently. She whimpered and gripped the front of his shirt weakly as she kissed him back.
"I love you so much, Jake." She whispered hoarsely.
"I know you do, but I still love you more." Jacob countered. No one ever loved anyone as much as he loved her, it wasn't possible.
Charlie cleared his throat, interrupting their precious moment. Jacob pulled away, still holding onto Bella's hand tightly. Charlie leant over and hugged her. "I'm sorry you lost your baby, Bella." He said, looking deeply sad.
"I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't know." Bella apologised as fresh tears began to well in her eyes.
"Oh, kiddo, c'mere. You have nothing to apologise for." Charlie sat down on the edge of the bed and gently embraced her. Bella cried on his shoulder for a while until her sobs lessened and she was more in control again. Charlie kissed her on the cheek and finally let her go. "I'm gonna go and call Billy and then Connie." He said, smiling tenderly at Bella before disappearing out of the room, giving them some privacy.
"Will you lay with me?" Bella murmured.
Jacob nodded and climbed carefully onto the bed with her. "Are you in pain or anything?" He asked as he wrapped his arm over her gently.
"Not really. It's sore, but nowhere near as bad as it was." Bella winced as she shifted on the bed.
Jacob closed his eyes and buried his face in the side of her neck. "You need to stop scaring the shit out of me, honey. You're seriously going to give me a heart attack soon." He teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Bella laughed humourlessly. "I'm so tired, Jake." She turned her head, nuzzling against him.
"Go to sleep then, Bells." He whispered, tucking in the sheet around her to protect her from any stray draughts.
Bella drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours. Charlie came back and refrained from commenting when he saw Jacob lying next to his daughter. He seemed to sense that she needed this. A nurse came in and administered some pain meds, but Bella said she was okay. After a couple of hours, she was allowed out of bed to go to the bathroom as long as she was accompanied by a nurse-which she didn't appreciate at all.
At nine the nurse came back in again, smiling sadly at Jacob and Charlie. "I'm sorry but visitor hours are over now. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." She said apologetically.
"I can't leave her." Jacob began to panic.
"Hey, son, calm down!" Charlie warned him. He shot the alarmed nurse a weak smile. "Its been a tough day." He said to her.
"Right." The nurse conceded. "But you still need to go. I'm sorry."
"We know." Charlie put his hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Come on, Jake. Bells' is asleep. With those pain meds she's on she'll be out for most of the night. We'll come back first thing in the morning."
Jacob knew this was one battle he wasn't going to win. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on Bella's forehead before reluctantly following Charlie out of the room. Once things had quietened down, he planned on sneaking back inside anyway.
A/N-thanks for reading!