Chapter 31
"Where are we?" Mary Poppins asks, opening her eyes. Sitting up, she groans. Her head is pounding.
"On the cruise ship, The Monte Carlo," Bert answers. They're sitting across from each other on cots in a tiny cabin.
Mary Poppins rubs the back of her head. She finds a painful goose egg and winces. "Did I get hit with something?" she asks.
"Yes. With a green papaya," Bert answers.
"Who would hit me a green papaya? Did you hit me with a green papaya, Bert?" she wants to know.
"We needed to get off that island," Bert explains.
"So we could get on this one?" Mary responds, frowning. She looks around. The last time she was on a cruise ship, it was as nanny to the Kincaid children. Their father was the ship's captain, widowed. He needed someone to care for his precocious twins while he navigated the stormy seas. Mary Poppins and the children had many adventures. Bert was there, too, since he was the ship's chief maintenance officer.
This cabin looks nothing like the Kincaid cabin. The captain's extensive quarters were luxurious. Mary Poppins and Bert are stuck in steerage. Trying the door, Mary discovers it's locked. "Bert?" she says, concerned.
"Now don't get upset, Mary Poppins. I know things seem bleak, but if you'll just be patient, I'll figure a way out of this situation." Bert is frustrated as he surveys the steel walls of the cabin.
"Situation, Bert? Exactly what situation are you talking about?" Mary Poppins asks.
"Well, I'm afraid we've been caught," Bert answers, scratching his chin. "We're stowaways, so they've locked us up. Some Daemon fellow is going to tell us what's to be done."
"What's to be done is that this Daemon fellow will stand aside and let us off this ship!" Adjusting her jacket, Mary harrumphs proudly.
"Here's hoping, Mary Poppins," Bert mutters.
The door opens and two people enter the cabin. They are barefoot and dressed in swimsuits and bathrobes. Their hair is wet, like they've been swimming. Mary and Bert hold hands to comfort each other. The man notices this and smiles. "Don't be nervous. I'm Daemon Redo and this is my Peon, Reba Frost. You're on The Monte Carlo, operated by The Order of Eternal Ascension. We've been waiting for you. Zugon told me you'd join us."
Mary Poppins looks worried. "Zugon who?"
"Our Lord and Master," Daemon Redo answers. "He said to expect you, and here you are! It's great that you made it for our swim upstream. The current is strong, but it'll be no match for the most devoted Ascendants who will float like dolphins upon the waves."
"I don't understand." Mary Poppins glances at Bert, confused.
"You will in time, Mary Poppins, and so will your friend, Bert. But before you ascend, we must wipe your auras clean. I hear you had a traumatic experience on the island." Daemon Redo sounds genuinely wounded.
"Yes, really traumatic!" Bert pipes up. "We were chased by the police, the army, and the Pangabbean family, on account that their tea-shop blew up. Through no fault of our own, I might add."
"Of course not. But this did make you stowaways on my ship," Daemon Redo reminds him.
"We're sorry for this, Mr. Redo," Mary Poppins interrupts. "Indeed we don't want to be any trouble. If you could just drop us off at the next port, we'll be on our way. We are headed for Mount Everest to find my magic umbrella."
"Are you?" Daemon Redo says, his eyes bright. "Mount Everest is one of the highest points on earth. Your desire to ascend is strong, Mary Poppins. And this magic umbrella you talk about, I'm sure it's a relic from our Order. It's fate that you're here. The Ascendents will help you climb as high as you want to go."
"To Mount Everest?" Mary asks hopefully.
"Even higher," Daemon Redo affirms. He shakes his head. "Mortals. They are stranded, unable to drop their earthly load. Instead they carry it around like a heavy sack. I'm glad you escaped. Please, remove your shoes and hold hands. I want you to join Peon Frost and myself in the Dumping Circle so we can recite the Oath of Surrender. It's a cleansing ritual - the first step in your ascent to Mount Everest and the stream of higher consciousness."
"Why are we removing our shoes exactly?" Bert asks.
"It's the the ultimate surrender to feel your feet leave the ground when you drop your earthly load," Daemon Redo claims. "I have experienced it and floated freely on the astral plane. It's an amazing experience. Peon Frost is still working on her Ascension. She's been at it for years. Don't be disappointed if you don't levitate at first. Practice makes perfect."
With everyone holding hands, Daemon Redo sings:
"Our God Zugon is sure
All that glitters is gold
So he's offering you a stairway to Ascension
When you get there you know
That our Church won't be closed
With some work you can reach the next level
Oh oh oh oh and he's offering you a stairway to Ascension."
"I think I've heard that song before," Bert says, frowning.
"I don't think so," Daemon Redo responds. "But let's move on. That fact is we can help you with your Ascension. There are several packages available to move you through the stages to the stream of higher consciousness, and yes, to Mount Everest. The good news is that once you pay for your passage you're no longer stowaways. Debit or credit card is best."
Reaching into her robe, Peon Frost produces a payment machine.
Bert blushes. "I'm sorry. We have no money."
"No money to pay for your Ascension? That's not good. You need to find a way to pay, otherwise we'll have to throw you overboard." Daemon Redo laughs. "I'm joking. As soon as we reach the next port we'll hand you over to the authorities, unless…."
"Unless?" Bert is worried.
"Unless you work for your passage and your Ascension. Can you wash dishes?" Daemon Redo asks.
"I suppose, but we're better entertainers," Mary Poppins answers.
"Like singing and dancing?" Daemon Redo is excited.
"That's right. I'm Mary Poppins, the Mary Poppins," Mary answers proudly.
"That's a good stage name. Will you sing for me now?" Daemon Redo requests.
Mary and Bert break into song. They dance, too, until Daemon Redo raises his hand. "You're fantastic! We can always use more entertainment on the ship. It's agreed then. You can sing and dance for your passage to Mount Everest."
"For how long?" Mary asks.
"For as long as it takes," Daemon Redo replies. "It all depends on your progress. That'll be gauged by a team of Ascendants. They will monitor things and report back to me. You could be done in 3 weeks or 3 years. It's totally up to you."
"Three years!" Mary and Bert scream.
"I'm joking! Trust me, your journey through the current will be a rewarding experience. Now if you'll excuse us, Peon Frost and I must get back to our floating session in the pool. We're practicing synchronized suspension. We'll see you in the morning." After that, they leave the cabin, locking the door behind them.
"Three years, Bert?" Mary says with disbelief.
"Didn't you hear him, Mary Poppins? He said he was joking! I bet we'll be off this ship in a week. You'll see." Bert sounds more confident than he looks.
(With credit to Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven)