2063 After the Battle at Dol Guldur, following the private audience Unede had with King Thanduil
Unede stumbled out of the Kings study, and gripped her side, it had seared with pain when she stood so suddenly from the Kings chair, and it took all her might to keep away the tears that stung her eyes. She gasped a little and found herself leaning on the cold stone walls of the hallway staring at her wet hand and dress stained with fresh blood. She cursed under her breath and steadied herself and wondered how she could get back to the halls of healing.
"Arinyaelen." The guards whispered hurriedly and came to her side. "Let us aide you, my lady please." But she sent them a dark look and waved them off. They steadied her shoulders as she tried to stand, and she took a careful step down the hallway before ordering them back to their stations at the door. Unede gathered herself and slipped around the corner to lean again onto the wall. She gasped for a breath, and let her guard down, allowing a few heavy tears to fall when she pressed her hand again to her bleeding belly. She knew she should have stayed in bed, or had the King come to her in the healing halls. Curse her own pride.
"Are you bleeding all over the King's halls?" A deep voice asked with a little laugh. She looked up and scowled at the grey man leaning on a wooden staff in the shadows.
"I was only trying to spare his majesties chairs."
"It would not be the first time your blood has graced them." He handed her a handkerchief and she dabbed the cold sweat from her brow and let out a ragged breath. She took a hesitant step forward and pain shot down her side, and she gritted her teeth and let out a grunt.
"Arinyaelen, let me help you." He muttered and brought her under his arm, and they took a hesitant step forward.
"Please Mirthrandir do not call me that name." She protested but did not deny his help as they made slow steps down the winding corridor.
"It is your name and I shall call you by it." The old wizard laughed, and the elf he led grumbled in an old tongue.
"Just take me to the healing ward, call for that young healer, you know the one." She said as they made their way painfully forward. At last they came to the healing halls, and she was led to her room, and the door was closed. He lay her in the bed, and watched her face go pale with the pain she hid. Then wordlessly the wizard filled a bowl with warm water from the hearth, and drew the curtains closed, and began to clean the blood from her hand.
At last the healer came in a blur of worry and skirts, and she barred the door behind her and shewed the wizard away. Carefully she peeled back the layers of her linen gown and frowned.
"Oh look at you." She muttered. "You've torn through the stitches m'lady. I will have to clean your wound, and cut away the torn flesh before I can sew it up." Unede nodded and reached for Gandalf's hand pleading with her eyes for him to stay. "Let me go and get the King's Foil m'lady, we've plenty, and-"
"No." Unede said a bit to loudly. "No, I'll not have the weed, save it for those who need it."
The healer shared a look with the wizard and shook her head. Then rose and went to the hearth for the kettle. She poured the steaming water in a cup, and added leaves and a spoon full of honey followed by a thick white liquid. Then she looked pointedly at the wizard who held the captains hand, and placed a finger to her lips as she handed Gandalf the cup.
"Here." He said soothingly, as Elenwe pressed a warm cloth to Unede's side. "Have some tea while she let's the heat cleanse your wound." Unede nodded and let him spoon her the murky liquid. The healer placed a warm cloth on her side and Unede squeezed hard on the wizards hand as pain shot through her again.
"My lady." The healer said while she threaded a needle. "Forgive me for saying, but he is at the door again. He saw the blood at his majesties study, he is rather distraught. Won't you let him come in whilst I work."
"No Elenwe." She said dully, taking another spoon of tea from the wizard.
"No, you say, you won't see anyone." Gandalf said raising an eyebrow. "We are all worried for you child. There are whispers in the Kingdom that you will fade and that we shall find you dead and cold in the garden at sunrise."
She looked at him and snarled. "I want to fade yet alas, both my fea and my body have failed me, and now I lay in a bed of darkness and despair with the words of the deceiver still ringing in my ear."
"So what will you do then." Gandalf said as Unede winced in pain from the first stitch the healer placed.
"I want to stay in this room, with the curtains drawn, until this age is ended, and Cirdan drags me to a ship." She said her voice filling with distain. She squeezed his hand once more, though the pain of this stitch felt duller, and her mind murkier.
" Aye, and then you'll throw yourself from the bow and into the sea." Gandalf laughed, but saw the loss and despair in her eye's as tears spilled onto the satin sheets. "Oh child." He whispered and dried her face with his sleeve.
"I have seen such darkness Mirthrandir." She stuttered. 'I cannot burden my people with this evil. They will surely see it when they look upon me, and I shall bring them not hope but despair. They cannot be around me, even I do not wish to be around me. I should be dead. Dead and healing in the halls of Mandos. I cannot heal here with such a burden on my heart. Instead of peace, I am met with endless chatter of dancing, and courtship and presentation, and all I want is rest Gandalf. A good long sleep, and an age of slumber. I want to be left alone."
"Oh Unede." He said and stroked her hair and gave her the last spoonful of tea, with a wink to the healer who began to snip away the turn flesh and stifle the blood with powdered herbs. "You are here because you are meant to be." He whispered to her. "Because you have work to do still. Your family only wish to see you happy, so they come to you with glad words thinking they will lift your spirits."
"How can I face doom, and then be bombarded with happy thoughts and asked to lead a people? How can they think I will dance, and bake, and paint and be glad? I can't come to court, or sit on a council, or marry a-" But she stopped and let out a quiet sob and gripped the pendent that hung from her neck. "I am to broken Gandalf. Yet so many have pushed me after such a darkness. All I know is the sword, and blood, and bones, and songs of slaying." Gandalf sighed at her words and squeezed her hand, but in all of his wisdom found no words to sooth her spirit in his mind. He was quiet for a time as he watched Elenwe finish her work, and place a bandage on the wound.
Then the healer stood and walked to the window and open the curtains and light shined onto the bed and filled the room. The she said quietly to them "Behold my lady, the sun is shining and the shadow has departed." Then she turned to the pair and smiled gently at Unede. "No longer should you be a shieldmaiden, nor vie in the forest with the warriors. Won't you lay down your arms? You are the light to our people, our morning star that sent the deceiver fleeing at dawn. Won't you help us grow now in other ways, now that the shadow has passed? Do you not desire quiet and calm, and peace? Or to garden, and paint, and take joy in the bird song and the green of the forest? Perhaps your family is right to push these desires on you. They only mean to lift your spirits and guide you to better days and a happier heart. Wont you let them?"
"I have no desires for titles, or crowns. I want time to heal and rest my fea, not dote on tree's and flowers. I said words I knew the King wished to hear. Words of councils, and gardens and bread. Words to ease his worry. I am loyal and true, but inside I am naught be a withered fea, and wish for death."
"Yet this cannot be so, for you are a child of Kings. The wise have faltered, and you have made it right, at a great cost to yourself." Gandalf said solemnly. "But it does not mean you cannot be happy. Nay, it means that you much more than many of us deserve to find a little joy in this world. I am sure you can find it here, if only you will give it a chance." He wiped a tear from her eye, and for a time they sat quietly together, until at last sleep took her, and she met a dreamless rest.