Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or Killing Stalking, just the story.

One thing Romano is happy for is that Feliciano still feels comfortable to lean on him when they're sitting by each other. He won't really cuddle with Romano but he leans enough for his brother to feel he's there. Enough pressure of an existence near him. Feli got into the habit of doing that ever since moving in with him and their grandfather. Romano was always tense when anyone tried touching him due to all he had gone through, so Feli would slowly help Romano get used to light touches again. The day when Feli could hug his brother and not be pushed away was a great day.

They sit next to each other on Feliciano's bed, laptop between them as they stream a musical he wanted to see. Romano isn't all too much a fan of musicals but he doesn't mind them. He can hum along with the songs easily but tries not to as his brother teases him constantly about actually liking sappy romance musicals. That isn't true but to some extent he can tolerate them. If anyone else enjoys these kinds of musicals, it would definitely be Arthur.

As he thinks about his friend, he wonders if they should do anything else during break. Going to a club will be fun but maybe a few other things, too. If not during the break, definitely some time during the next semester. Romano ponders over the several things Arthur likes and decides that he might go to whatever book signing the guy wants to if he asks. Then maybe a recital, or musical. He wonders if Arthur likes ballet performances. He can see Arthur loving either Swan Lake or The Nutcracker for some reason. A smirk twitches on his lips as he plans to buy some tickets for a show like that. If not this year, maybe next year.

Speaking of Christmas break, Romano doesn't look over at his brother but feels he should ask. "Say, Veneziano?"

"Yes, fratello?" Feli glances quickly at Romano, refocusing on the musical just as fast but listening all the same.

"What do you wanna do this Christmas break? Do you have plans already?"

The younger Italian is silent as he thinks. "Well, Ludwig is still around so I might hangout with him some days. Be with you when you're not busy. It'd be nice to have a small group night, too." He lays his head on Romano's shoulder, eyes still on the screen. "I know you hate big groups but it'd be all our friends. That would be okay, right?"

Even though he doesn't necessarily like the idea of a group gathering, Romano nods. "Maybe one or two nights during the break. I won't be able to deal with them all constantly. Especially those potato bastards and Alfred. I'm not willingly becoming a target for jokes."

"You can also invite Antonio if you want," Feli adds.

For some reason, the thought of his boyfriend being with him at a group thing doesn't sound like a good idea. "Nah. I don't want to seem like I'm with him constantly and ignoring you guys. Though, I probably should ignore most of our friends." He chuckles lowly when Feli frowns at him. "Don't worry. I'll be nice and behave. Mostly."

Feli rolls his eyes as he giggles. "Just be you, Romano. Don't hold back or change on account of us."

"If I did that, Arthur would kick my ass and I'd decide that it's not beneficial for me to be with you guys if I have to change myself." He ruffles Feliciano's hair, careful not to hit the curl. "So I'll probably have more one-on-one time with Antonio, but if he wants to join our group I'll let you guys know."

"Okay." The copper haired student smiles. "I'm glad you had time tonight for this."

Romano smiles a little himself. "Same."

A small lapse of silence passes between them until Feli pipes up again. "Speaking of Antonio, has he contacted you anything for Christmas day?"

"No. I'm not even sure if I want to do something with him then."

The younger brother sits up and stares at Romano disbelievingly. "Romano, Christmas is a day where couples spend time together."

"I thought it was more about families," he argues.

"It is, but for new couples it's very crucial to have some time spent together, too."

"Are you going to push me out to have a date with him?"

"I will if I have to."

The two chuckle at their light bickering. "Fine. I swear that if he doesn't contact me about anything, I'll contact him." That won't upset any other plans he has so far in his head. He's hoping to spend time with everyone during the break when they're not busy. "Honestly, I'll be shocked if he didn't send at least one message in regard to it. If he doesn't, it's not skin off my nose. I have other people to spend my time with."

"I'll be busy that day."

"Don't tell me-."

"I've already asked Ludwig and he said he'd think about it." Feli smiles with a light pink tinge on his cheeks. "Hopefully he'll say yes. If anything, it can always be a friendly outing. Friends are just as great to have. Romance isn't everything."

Romano hums in agreement. "If he does say yes, make sure that you're prepared."

Feli furrows his brows as he gazes at the elder Italian. When he sees Romano's growing grin, his face turns a darker shade as he shoves the other. "Fratello!"

He laughs, Feli joining him. Then he feels a pillow slammed into his face. "Oi!"

"You're horrible!" Feli states playfully. He smacks Romano again with his pillow. "We're not even ready for that!"

"That's good to know!" Romano tries dodging the oncoming attacks, failing epically. He rolls off Feli's bed and rushes to his own side of the room. Feli throws the pillow at him and Romano catches it. "No pillow talk for you yet, huh?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

At that, Feli pauses the movie and moves his laptop to his desk at the end of his bed. He then grabs another one of his pillows and jumps down from his bed. "You asked for this, fratello." He grins.

Romano grips the pillow in his hands, ready to fight back. "I know I did."

They may be college students but they can still act like kids when they want. Thankfully, the pillows aren't weak to the point the fluff or feathers will spill out. The two laugh as they hit each other, teasing barbs being tossed between them. Feli doesn't joke about the same thing with Romano knowing that it's a sensitive topic from what he had gone through, but he plays along. Romano is grateful that they can still be like this. Kidding, playful, laughing. It's one of the best feelings he's had in a very long while since their grandfather passed.

"What are the two of you doing?"

Romulus stands in the doorway of Romano's shared room with Feli. They could've had separate rooms but Feliciano refused to be alone. There was no explanation but they didn't argue over it. The brothers enjoyed being together as much as they could, even if Romano is stand-offish. Still, they're kids, brothers, and have moments where they can play together for a good laugh. One such moment is now as they were having a pillow fight.

Feli shies behind Romano. They keep hold of their pillows, guilt swelling in the younger brother. Romano doesn't back down as he steps forward. "We were having a pillow fight. Something wrong with that?"

The fire inside his eldest grandson amazes Romulus at times. After being kidnapped, assaulted for days on end, he can still stand his ground. He's sensitive still but doesn't back down from a fight. Not every kid can be as strong as Romano.

"Yes, there is," the man says as he steps toward them. He takes the pillow from Romano's hands and grins. "One, it's way past your bedtimes. You both have school tomorrow."

"But Nonno…" Feli trails off, fresh tears ready to spill at the corner of his eyes.

"It was my idea," Romano interjects. "Punish me if you want. I instigated it."

It's always Romano to the rescue. From day one he was protecting Feliciano. Their father threatened to do the same to the younger boy and Romano didn't want that. Romulus smiles at the brown haired child, stubborn scowl on his face. He reminded the man so much of himself in several ways. Less flirtatious but that's not an issue.

"Fine then. If you want the punishment so badly…" the Italian man trails off and sees Romano twitch, head sinking into his shoulders as if to prepare for something. "Then you better grab another pillow for protection."

The atmosphere lightens up in a snap as Romulus lands an attack with the pillow in his hands. Romano screeches before running for another pillow. Feliciano calms down, laughing as he starts walloping his grandfather with his own pillow. The boys gang up on the elder man, snickering. They have numbers but Romulus has height and strength.

After a few more swings, he soon bends down and scoops both boys up on his shoulders. The two slap at his back, squealing as they're dropped down on one of the beds. Romulus then begins tickling them both, smiling as they scream with giggles.

"Stop!" Romano begs, tears in his eyes as he tries fighting the hand on his stomach. When the hand goes too far south, he turns rigid and quickly backs away. "Stop!" He grounds out, shivering against the wall.

The other two cease all movement, Feli still giggling a little but sitting up in concern. Romulus reaches slowly for the boy but Romano flinches away. "Roma…"

"Don't call me that!" He shouts. "It's Lovino. I hate that name. Don't call me that…" he trails off, hugging himself as his eyes cloud over. They focus on a random item but he's not paying attention to it. His mind goes back to just a few years ago. "Don't touch me. I'll fucking kill you if you touch me again."

It hurts to see Romano in this state but Romulus knows he accidentally triggered it. "Lovino, we won't touch you. Not that way. You're safe."

Feliciano doesn't understand what his grandfather means. His thoughts are only on trying to calm his brother. He carefully crawls in front of Romano and sits there. He doesn't do anything but stare for a moment. "Fratello, we're home. There's no one who will hurt you."

The soft words his younger brother say seem to wake him up. Romano's eyes clear up and he gazes at the two. His face flushes as he scrunches his nose up. "Shit," he whispers, immediately looking away. "I- I need to be alone for a bit." He goes around the two and gets off the bed, running out of the room and toward the bathroom.

After locking the door, he stands in front of the sink and turns on the water. Splashing his face with water, he stares into the swirling liquid pouring down the drain. His mind flashes a different picture in his eyes and he clenches them shut. He shakes his head, gripping the edge of the sink and leaning over it.

"For fucks sake, I'm no longer there. I'm not in danger. No one's going to touch me. Why the hell did you react like that?" He very well knew the reason. He's not comfortable with anyone touching him below the hip. If someone does, he spazzes out into an episode. He hates it but can't help it. It's an automatic response.

A light knock raps on the door. "Fratello?" Feliciano voices from the other side. "Are you okay?"

"Did I look okay to you, idiota?" He spits back without thinking.

"Lovino, don't speak to your brother like that. He's just concerned," Romulus states. "I'm worried, too. I'm sorry for triggering you."

Sighing, Romano looks up at his reflection. His hazel eyes are slightly red. Face still wet from when he splashed himself. He turns the faucet off and wipes his hands on a towel, dabbing his face. He then unlocks the door and opens it. His eyes land on the other two and he frowns.

"I'm not okay," he utters. "I'm not going to be okay for a very long time, but I'm going to try and be okay."

"Don't push yourself if it's too difficult," his grandfather says. "You don't want to put so much pressure on yourself that you snap and regret lashing out later."

"I already know that," he bites back. "It's just- It's not so fucking easy. It's an automatic response."

"You can slowly get better, though." Romulus reaches for his grandson's shoulder but retracts his hand after seeing him wince. "In time, you'll be able to accept small caresses again."

Romano snorts. "Fat chance. I don't plan to find someone that I will ever want to touch me."

Feliciano is lost at what they're talking about but doesn't care. "Do you wanna sleep alone tonight?"

The elder brother stares at his younger brother. He thinks, frowning more. "No."

"Should I stay in my bed?"

"You don't need to." A small smile shows. "You're different Vene. I know you wouldn't have those kinds of intentions. Never."

Feli nods, hugging his brother for a good long minute. "Let's go to bed."

Romano merely nods, not hugging his brother back even though he knows he should. Feli doesn't seem phased as he releases him only to take his hand and drag him to bed. Romulus stands there, watching the two. He sighs through his nose, clucking his tongue as he glares at the wall.

"Those men won't ever see the light of day while I'm around," he mumbles, lumbering through the hall to his own room.

The brothers pant from putting too much energy in swinging the pillows. Romano lets Feli have the last hit before collapsing against his bed. "I'm done, Vene."

"I won," he cheers, leaning against his bed as well. He giggles. "We haven't done that in forever."

"Hn. Not since the old geezer joined in."

Feli remembers that night, frowning as he realizes what it all was about now. "I'm still surprised that you're as open as you are. And you kiss Toni without trouble?"

Romano instantly knows why he's asking. "I'm not that awkward about it anymore. I mean, I'm still on the fence about the idea of even going further than what we've already done," his cheeks redden at the intimate memory with Antonio, "but the idea doesn't sicken me anymore."

"It's just the nightmares and fear?"

If anyone said Feli is dumber than a rock, they're sorely mistaken and don't know him at all. "Yeah." He tosses Feli's pillow back at him. "Like before, it's just a thing that sticks and automatically has me react. It's not easy to fight since I haven't done it a lot. Or ever, really. Not since Nonno saved me, anyway."

"And being with Antonio is you trying to heal, right?"

"Honestly, me just getting out more and actually making friends is me trying to heal. You know my issues."

"Yeah, I do." Feli walks over and hugs his brother. "I'm glad you trust me. You can lean on me, too, you know."

Romano hugs him back. "Even though you have your own life, I'm glad you're here for me. I'm still terrified of losing you because of how shitty I am and protective I can be of you."

"You're not that shitty," Feli refutes. "You also have a life to live. Just be courteous and let me know when we need to do rain checks."

He has a right to not ever let that go. "I promise to try. I'm not perfect nor can I remember everything."

"I know." Feli pulls away, smiling tiredly. "We should get some sleep. Heading back home tomorrow."

"Yep. That big, empty house full of memories." He pats his brother's shoulder. "We should spend time with our aunt, uncle, and cousin before they go back to Italy for the winter."

"Yeah! I'm surprised they haven't left already."

"They mentioned something at Thanksgiving, didn't they? About spending a day with us before they leave during Christmas break?"

"Oh yeah. I think they said they'd stay until the day after Christmas."

"That's going to be a hell storm going back then." Romano chuckles. "All right. Let's turn the lights out."

"Okay!" Feli hurries to the light switch and turns it off. "Good night, fratello."

"Night, Vene." Romano smirks, slipping into bed and settling down for the night. His thoughts loop around the many ideas he wants to do for the break. As he closes his eyes, the thoughts slowly fade as he falls into a well needed deep slumber.

Notes: I'm debating whether to post the other chapters up to the Christmas chapter or not since it is Christmas time. I first need to finish/create Chapters 28 and 29 to do just that if I go for it... I've changed some things up with the whole plan I have for his Freshman year. I might be late but if I have a moment of inspiration, I might have everything posted up to chapter 29, the Christmas chapter. I might post that on Christmas day itself. We'll see.

This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.

Ciao: I hope you enjoyed the update, dearies! Thanks for reading! R&R.