Sorry for the late update! I've had a horrible migraine for the past few days, so I've been on and off of the computer while trying to write :/ thank you all for your support!

-Ally Layne

Do Not Go Gentle

Chapter 25: Three Graves in the Ground

The water healed my wounds, which was nice. Not that I had many wounds that needed tending to, but it helped to not have anything nagging at me on the ride back to Imladris. However, along the ride all I could think about was Maris.

Maris's funeral was a sad affair. Varis explained that when dwarves, or dwarrow, as she refers to her people, die they return to stone. I understood it as being buried in carven tombs in the mountains, but because of where they were Varis wanted her mother to be sent off to Aulë's halls on a funeral pyre.

As Varis was inconsolable and seemed to allow herself to fade into the memories of her mother as she burnt to ash, Geoffry helped explain a few things to me.

Aulë,the member of the Valar who was much like Melkor, had many different Maiar associated with him. "One of those Maiar who were most associated with Aulë was Mairon," Geoffry explained as we stood watching the flames eat away in the middle of the day.

Varis was on her knees closest to the fire, and there were two other women kneeling next to her and offering their condolences. I knew she wasn't listening to them. Not really.

"Mairon was the name of Sauron before he became all evil and stuff, right?" I asked.

Geoffry nodded stiffly. "Unfortunately, yes. The white wizard, Saruman, was also closely associated with the two at the time."

I turned to Geoffry in shock. "You mean Salamander the Wizard was best buds with Sauron? What a small world."

He shrugged. "They are immortal. Time passes differently for use blessed with eternal life."

I let out a low sigh, turning back to the dwarrowdam mourning in front of us. "That is very true."

"After the betrayal of Mairon and losing the white wizard on the hunt for Sauron and Melkor, Aulë himself crafted the first dwarrow out of stone and created his people after waiting for Illvutar to create the secondborn."

"Secondborn?"

He raised a brow. "Elves are the firstborn, the first children of Illvutar. Humans, including the Númenóreans, they are the secondborn."

I grimaced and rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "And who are the Numenori-whats?"

He let out a huff of what could have been laughter if we were not witnessing a funeral. "They are those who bridge the differences between Humans and the Eldar. They are not half-elves, yet they have characteristics of the Eldar. They live longer than Humans, but do not have the immortal lifespan of my people."

I squinted toward the fire. "So basically dwarves were made because Aulë had no patience?"

He let out another huff. "I suppose that is one way to look at it. However, the dwarrow are extremely good at mining and have something called the stone-sense. From what I recall, the Line of Durin obtains this sense to its full extent as well as other things that come with it."

My brows raised. "Stone sense? What is that?"

He shrugged. "I am an elf, young one. There is much I do not know about other races, and the dwarrow are by far the most secretive of them all."

I let out a low hum, and we stood in a mild silence while watching the poor dwarrowdam grieve over her mother.

Geoffry placed a hand on my shoulder. "It is harrowing, the amount of death an immortal must face. However, we must tread onward or we will drown."

I pursed my lips at his words. "I will never drown, don't worry."

The corners of his lips pulled upward. "I am not worried. I know that will not be your fate."

I tilted my head back toward him. "What do you mean?"

"Your fate is far greater than what you can imagine, mellon nin. What you experienced in the world you came from is only the beginning."

I swallowed, turning back to see Varis start to rise to her feet and wipe her eyes stubbornly with the ends of her sleeves. "That's what I'm scared of."

Geoffry's hand dropped from my shoulder and he moved backward as Varis approached. "I am ready to leave," she told me, a steely determination present in her emerald eyes.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, just as firm as before. "I am not needed here, anymore."

I knew how that felt. "Okay. I the elves who won't be staying are almost prepared past the gates."

Her eyes were glossed over, lost in a memory. "Aye."

Instead of questioning her like I might've done years ago, I understood she just needed some time to think things through at the moment. "Come along, I'll bring you to them."

She had been completely silent for the rest of our journey, even though Aldarian, whom she sat in front of, was doing his best to try and get her spirits up.

I let Bud fall behind back to ride alongside Goldilocks, who was also looking to her worriedly. He was one of the elves who had helped bury the dead and made sure the bodies of the orcs were heaved into a pile and burnt to ash.

I didn't know how I was supposed to feel about riding out and fighting with the elves. I was pleased, yes, but I was far more morose coming back than I was when we rode out. Now, all I could think about was the day of my mother and Paul's funeral.

It wasn't only a funeral for two people, though.

There was a third.

"What do you mean, she was pregnant?"

My breaths were short and coming out in gasps as I let myself fall back into the seat behind me. My birth father, Poseidon, was given permission to help me plan the funerals, but this was news to me.

"I mean, Artemis, the goddess of childbirth, has also confirmed that Sally was truly with child when she was killed."

My head collapsed into my hands as my mind strained to understand what he was telling me. "But… she never said…"

He let out a sigh, and sank into the couch beside me. "She had planned to tell you when you arrived home, Persephone."

I let my head fall into his shoulder as my body started to shake with sobs. "It's not fair."

He let out a choked sigh. "It never is, my dear. It never is."

My father's hand ran through my hair to calm me. It was helpful, yes, but his actions reminded me of the nights my mother would do the same to help me sleep from the nightmares that haunted me at night.

"It was going to be a girl," he continued. "Her name would have been Estelle."

I sobbed, feeling the chill from my gooey snot run onto the sleeve of his darkly colored Hawaiian shirt. "Mom always liked that name."

He hummed. "Your mother was a queen among mortals. Had she allowed it, she would have been forever placed at my side."

"Mom never wanted any of that."

I ran a sleeve over my eyes. "It's not fair. Why did this have to happen? It was supposed to be me, not them."

Poseidon immediately shifted below me and turned my head to look his eyes where a powerful storm raged. "Never say that, my daughter. You are worth far more than what death would give you."

I choked on a sob as tears streamed from my own eyes. "It's not fair!"

He hugged me close, as sobs continued to rip through my body. There was nothing he could say to make it better, and he knew it. I knew it. He held me in silence until dawn, and I was given a fair sum of money to help pay for the funeral I couldn't afford.

Estelle was given a plot between mom and Paul. There was no body to bury, as my mother's abdomen was completely ripped to shreds by the monster that invaded their room that night.

After hearing of this predicament I was given a green knitted blanket with a trident on one corner and a teddy bear on the opposite from someone at camp. It was left on my bunk with a letter that was signed from nearly everyone, saying how sorry they were for my loss. I buried that blanket and a little raddle was given to me from my father, made of shells from Atlantis. Estelle- he told me even though she wasn't his daughter, she would have been treated as such.

She would have been so loved.

It wasn't fair.

After the funeral, I was left standing in front of the three graves with Nico Di'Angelo and Thalia Grace at my sides. They had lost a lot too, over the years. Neither of them had anyone left in the mortal world, either.

"It will never get easier," Thalia admitted to me from my right. "You will always think about the what if's. It still keeps me up at night."

I knew she was thinking about Jason, and what might have happened had she been there to help us during that battle. I knew, because I had similar thoughts, too.

"I still think of Bianca. What might've happened had I gone with you," Nico spoke, his voice sending chills throughout the graveyard. "But I still get to see her from time to time."

I couldn't do anything to stop the tears that streamed down my face. "Thank you for staying."

Thalia grabbed my hand, and Nico simply placed a leather-gloved hand on my shoulder. "You were there for us, Kelp Head. We'll be there for you," the daughter of Zeus admonished. "I'll always be an Iris Message away- but if you do want, there is always a spot for you among us."

I sadly smiled, looking down at my mother's name that was blurred from my tears. "You know I'd never be able to be happy as one of you."

She let out a laugh. "That's why I hadn't given any grand gestures of asking. Just wanted you to know in case something ever changed."

I nodded and quickly moved to brush back the lock of hair that rustled in the wind. "Thank you."

"I will always be there if you need me, Perse."

I wrapped my arm around Nico's waist, ignoring the fact that he basically dwarfed me now after all these years. "Thanks, Mr. Ghost King."

I didn't need to be looking at him to know a smile graced his face. "Your mother, Paul, and Estelle had made it to the Elysium. They are happy, well, as happy as one could be as a newly dead-"

Thalia coughed. "Not helping."

"Well, what I mean to say is that they're happy, Persie. Don't worry about them."

My lips pursed as I tried to keep myself from crying. It felt like I was never going to stop. "Okay," my voice came out in a soft whisper.

"Let's get you back to camp," Thalia said, covering our connected hands. "There will be some chocolate waiting for you at the Big House."

I smiled, but I could feel it didn't reach my eyes. "Thank you, Thalia. I really appreciate this. From the both of you."

Nico threw his arm around my shoulder and I said one last goodbye to my family in the ground, before letting myself be pulled away into the shadows.

"Persephone?"

I blinked.

Glorfindel was looking at me with troubled blue eyes. "Is there something wrong?"

The corners of my lips pulled into a smile, but it was one the both of us knew was a facade. "I'm fine, why?"

If my false smile wasn't enough to make him question my words, then the airy voice in which I spoke them surely counts. However, he merely raised a brow curiously but didn't ask any further.

That was probably the best thing about talking to him. He knew when and when not to ask. It's probably because he's so old.

"You seemed lost in thought," he explained to me. "But I suppose that happens to all of us on trips such as these."

Elrohir snickered from behind us. "You get lost in thought, but if you stay lost in thought you might just get yourself killed."

Glorfindel rolled his eyes. "Lost in thought does not mean lost while staring at a female's ass, Elrondion."

I chortled at his defeated huff. "You're such a perve, Elrohir."

The golden-haired elf at my side looked curious at this new term. "Perve?"

I let out a giggle at hearing the word come from his mouth. "Short for pervert. Perverted. Scumbag. You know, the works."

This made him laugh, while I could hear sputtering come from behind me. "I am not perverted, I must inform-"

"You are too, now get back to keeping watch," Glorfindel cut him off, looking at me from the corner of his eye with a wink. "Do not make me tell you twice, Elrohir."

The Elf Lord scoffed. "Fine. Have it your way, Lord of the Golden Flower."

Goldilocks sneered and growled at the blatant mockery, but before he could do anything to retaliate, Elrohir had ridden off to go keep watch and scout for the group.

I was going to open my mouth to say something, but the chirping sound of a small child's giggle warred me off. My eyebrows furrowed, and I had Bud come to a halt, as a small girl, probably at the age of two or three came running through the grass chasing after a butterfly.

My breath caught in my throat.

Her hair was dark, her skin was tan and her eyes… they were my mom's. Something moved within me, a sharp pain in my gut radiated through to my heart. She kept on laughing as she moved through the trail and back into the brush beneath the trees that surrounded us.

Estelle.

"Lady Persephone? What are you doing?"

I ignored the questions being shot at me as I hopped off Bud, and took off running after my half-sister. She would have been this age had my mother not been killed. Maybe she was sent here, after all?

I ignored the whipping of the tall grass at my sides and kept running through the brush. I had to find her. I had to keep her safe-

"Persie!"

The giggling was getting closer.

"Persephone!"

All of a sudden, it opened up to a large open field, and the laughter started to fade. I was never going to catch her. Tears were in my eyes, and my breath came out in hoarse rasps. "Estelle!"

Before I could take off again to find my sister, a pair of strong, warm arms wrapped around me from behind. "No! She needs me- let me go!"

"Who?"

A part of me gave up at the sound of Glorfindel's voice, but I continued to writhe in his arms, trying to move in his iron grasp.

"Estelle!" I choked out in a yell, continuing my struggle. "Estelle! She's not safe, Glorfindel, she needs me!"

He turned me around in his arms, gripping my biceps tightly to keep me from moving and chasing after the voice.

"Who is Estelle, Nemir?"

His eyes stared into mine, urging me to comply, but the laughter was carrying me away. I wasn't drowning. I was flying, and Estelle was carrying me with her.

At least, until Goldilocks shook me, rattling me out of my own head. "Persephone, Nemir, you need to focus." My eyes, wide, unbelieving, locked onto his own. "Who is Estelle? Where is she?"

I looked back to where the laughter had gone. I couldn't hear it anymore. My body immediately folded beneath me, and I heard the shocked noise come from the elf who now held me tightly into his chest as he knelt down into the grasses to ease my fall.

Someone was crying, wailing in pain. It wasn't easy to hear. It was like a dying animal, begging for mercy, for someone to end their pain finally taking them out of their prolonged misery.

My eyesight blurred, and suddenly I felt the tears dripping down my cheeks, and the hoarse pain coming from my chest. It was me. I was crying.

"Shh, I am here, Nemir," he whispered into my ear, but I could hardly hear him. He started soothingly speaking in elvish, never once letting go or even easing in his grip.

"It's not fair," I sobbed, over and over again. "It's not fair!"

I dug my nose into the corner of his neck, still shaking with harsh, crashing sobs. His forehead was pressed in my hair and I could feel lingering kisses rain on the top of my head. "It will be well, it will pass."

I shook my head into his body, immediately feeling weightless as he pulled me into him in response. "No, no, it never goes away. It never leaves."

He tilted his head further and laid a kiss upon my forehead. It was warm, comforting, and lingered there long after his lips left my skin.

"It will ease, Nemir. Your heart will not hurt this much forever," he murmured into my hair. "It will never stop hurting, but it will ease."

I started to cry even harder. "I want it to stop. I want it to- I want it to go away! I don't want to feel this anymore, it hurts too much."

His arms gripped me tighter. "Let me take some of that off you. Let me help you," he coaxed. "You need not shoulder this burden alone."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't say anything at all. Instead, I let my cries ease into silence, and that silence eased into exhaustion. When Glorfindel deemed it was safe for him to move me, he stood up and started walking while holding me in his arms.

I kept my head burrowed in the crook of his neck, but I could see figures of Aldarian, Elrond, Elrohir, Geoffry, and some other elves that had watched the two of us in sullen silence. "Let us head back, she will stay with me," Glorfindel told them, as they walked to their horses.

Bud knew something had happened, but didn't know what. I only moved to stroke his muzzle softly before letting Glorfindel place me astride Asfoloth and climbed up behind me while pulling me into his arms once more.

No one said a word.

They didn't have to.

The rest of the ride back to Imladris was spent in silence, some from exhaustion, others from anxiety or even some from fear. I was too sad to talk, let alone being tired. But no matter how many times Glorfindel tried to urge me to sleep, I refused.

I didn't want to dream. I knew what would haunt me this night.

When we arrived back at the elven palace, I was once again carried off of Asfoloth and wrapped my arms around Glorfindel's neck to hold myself closer to hide my face in embarrassment. "I will bring her to her rooms," he told Elrond, who was joined by Arwen and my other friends. Alma seemed worried, but Arwen nodded solemnly with her father.

"I will assist in prepping her for sleep," Gerda told the Lord, her eyes strong and upholding. I held onto Glorfindel even tighter, not wanting to let go of him. He was the only one who knew, who understood, and I didn't want him to leave me too.

He seemed to understand.

"That won't be necessary, Miss Gerda. I will help her myself, as a friend. She will need you later, after all."

Glorfindel walked, and when there was a hitch in his step I looked up to see Lady Mirwen, Calen, and a few of their followers standing there with fierce gazes. I knew Goldilocks saw them and was pleased when he didn't speak and moved on in peace.

When we made it to my chambers, he placed me down on my bed and took my shoes off before trying to get me under the covers. "Don't leave," I cried, as soon as he broke away. "Please I don't want to be alone."

His mouth lowered in a frown, and his eyes deep with something I didn't dare try to analyze. "Of course, I will be right here."

His hand reached to hold mine, and I kept him close in a steel grasp. The blond elf took it upon himself to take off his own boots and eased while sitting at my side in silence, grabbing my hand with his other one as I closed my eyes to sleep.

"Stay," I whispered to him, my voice laden with sleep.

I barely heard his reply as Hypnos lured me once more into his realm. "Always, Nemir."