Malfoy was gone when she woke up. She stretched and cast a Tempus charm, realizing it was nearly noon.
There was a note on the table, next to a muffin and a glass of water, clearly pilfered from the Great Hall.
Shacklebolt,
I thought you would be interested to know that everyone is still freaking out over yesterday, and final exams are cancelled. Everyone is just supposed to keep to their common rooms, but no one really cares too much. Diggory's funeral is in two days, at noon. Your friends were looking for you at breakfast.
You can stay here if you want. I won't tell anyone.
DM
She broke off a piece of the muffin, taking a sip of water as her mind worked. She could stay here, but she knew it wouldn't be long until they found her on the Marauders Map. She slid her shoes on, making up her mind. She would disappear for a while.
No one had seen Jamie in the days leading up to Cedric's funeral, not since the night of his death. They had tried looking for her, but when Jamie didn't want to be found, she was darn near impossible to track down, and she stayed off Hogwarts grounds to do it, Marauders Map be damned.
Harry himself had stuck to his dormitory, shut up for the most part in his bed, curtains drawn. Ron and Hermione brought him food at mealtime. Things were bad, really bad, for the Potters.
The morning of the funeral, she was spotted by her friends walking up the path toward Hogwarts, barefoot, dirty, hair mussed, circles under her eyes.
"Where were you?" Angelina sat on her bed, watching Jamie throw beauty charms on her hair and face.
"Shrieking Shack," Jamie muttered tersely.
"We were looking everywhere for you," Angelina pressed, concern flashing in her eyes.
"I didn't want to be found," was her reply. Katie and Alicia wandered in, hearing the news that she had returned, and they watched her dress robotically, putting on the dress and stockings her mother had sent her.
The twins, Lee, and Oliver came in, looking morose.
George pulled her aside and held his arms out to her, looking sympathetic, but she stiffened. Rumors had been circulating about how Cedric ended up in the maze, much of the public understanding was Cedric had been used because he was closely acquainted with Jamie. George clearly had realized it was Cedric she had been crying over at the Yule Ball, putting the pieces of the year together.
"Don't say anything, please," she choked out. "No one knows…," except my parents, most of the teaching staff, Harry, and Draco Malfoy she said internally. "I don't need another scandal right now."
"J, you're hurting… I'm sure you both cared about each—"
"He's gone now, Gred, it doesn't matter anymore," she hissed, fighting the burning in her eyes. "Cho gets to mourn, Cho gets the hugs and sympathy, the other woman gets nothing."
"I'll hold your hand, at the funeral, all the same," George told her and she nodded, turning to hide the tears rolling down her face.
She was strong, sitting amongst the Gryffindors, eyes downward, as she tried to tune out the sobs coming from Cho and Cedric's father. George squeezed her hand on one side, and all she could do was squeeze it back as hard as she could. Harry sat on her other side, their eyes flickering to each other. She watched his lip wobble when Dumbledore got up, talking about bravery, about Cedric's murder, about how he died trying to protect his friends: Harry and Jamie. She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it until he squeezed back.
"Today we acknowledge a really terrible loss. Cedric Diggory was as you all know, exceptionally hard working, infinitely fair-minded and most importantly a fierce, fierce friend," said Dumbledore. "Now I think therefore you have the right to know exactly how he died. You see, Cedric Diggory was murdered by Lord Voldemort. The Ministry of Magic does not wish me to tell you this, but not to do so I think would be an insult to his memory."
She felt more than watched almost every eye turn toward she and Harry. She kept her head down, and Harry did as well, his head turned slightly toward her, their foreheads nearly touching.
"Remember, if the time should come, when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort in defense of his fellow classmates. Remember Cedric Diggory."
Cho's sobs were nearly screeching, and she felt the veins in her forehead tick, tick, tick as she listened to the girl grieve for him.
After the funeral; the school provided the wake, a luncheon, and the tables they normally dined at returned. Jamie left Harry to sit with Hermione and Ron as she got up, making her way back toward her bed.
"Jamie, wait!" A voice called after her and she flinched, the sound of heels clacking after her outside of the hall. "Jamie, please," a quivering voice stopped her in her tracks, and she turned to see Cho, who had all but cried herself into a puddle.
"Cho, I can't talk right now," she ground out.
"Please Jamie, I need you to talk to me," the girl begged her, reaching for her. "You were with him, you know what happened, please, tell me it wasn't as bad as everyone says it was!"
"Cho, please just drop it," Jamie tried to shake her off. "You don't want to know what happened, it'll make it worse for you, just leave it."
"Who are you to tell me what I can handle and what I can't?" Cho cried shrilly. "He was my boyfriend! I have a right to know how he died!"
"You aren't the only person who cared for him, you know!" Jamie snapped back before she could stop herself. "What do you want me to say Cho? I saw it! I was there with him! You want me to tell you how Cedric didn't even have time to say a spell before Voldemort blasted him back like he was nothing? He's dead, Cho, dead dead dead, and nothing you or anyone says is going to change it so just drop it!"
She was practically screaming back at the girl, didn't even flinch when Cho reared back, slapping her harshly across the face.
Jamie blinked, hand coming up to her flaming cheek, touching her split lip in shock. Cho burst into tears and turned, running away.
Uncomfortable throat clearing jarred her attention and she looked up to see a pack of whispering students watching her, eyes wide, looks of disgust on their faces.
"Go ahead, spread it like wildfire, Jamie got bitch slapped by Cho Chang because she's such an awful person," Jamie snarled at them. "See if I care!"
She spun on her heel and stormed out of the front doors, out into gloomy day. She stopped only to tug off her heels, as rain began pouring down, ever the cliché. Her tights were getting ripped and muddy, but she didn't stop until she was sinking down on the edge of Hagrid's garden, utterly numb.
Makeup swirled down her face, her hair clung to her, but she didn't care. She had seen the newspaper articles and magazines circulating the luncheon, she and Harry were getting absolutely dragged through the mud. Liars, plotters, and frauds.
The Plotting Potters.
"We've been looking for you," her mother's voice broke her brooding. She turned to see Guin and Kings standing over her, looking concerned.
"Why are you sitting out here in the rain?" Kings took off his robes and placed them around her shoulders.
"I feel dirty," she mumbled. Her parents shared a look.
"Professor Dumbledore agreed to let us take you home today, you don't have to ride the train back," Guin told her softly.
"Fine," she shrugged.
"It'll be good to be home, we have an internship lined up for you, and you can visit your cousins and we can have Harry over," her mum continued. "It'll be a chance to really reflect and come back feeling like yourself again."
"You seriously think I'm going to do a bloody internship this summer?" Jamie spat, staring up at them as if they had lost their minds. "You expect me to traipse around in public like I'm not one of the most hated people in the wizarding world right now? You want me to pretend that everything is okay? That Voldemort isn't back? That Harry isn't in danger, that we didn't just watch someone die?"
She was hyperventilating by then, and she curled inwards, into a ball, sobs and gasps for air shaking her.
"We just wanted to help you, Jamie," Kings rubbed her back trying to get her to settle and breathe. "It's going to be your 7th year, another hard year… we're just trying to give you a leg up since you're going through so much."
Her brain felt like it was on fire, her lungs aching, as she fought for air. Everything sucks, everything hurts. She felt strong arms tug under her shoulders, felt herself lifting, held by her dad. Her mum hugged her from behind, cheek resting on her back, making soothing sounds. She threw her arms around her dads' neck, burying her face.
"I'm not okay," she choked up, feeling air wash into her lungs once more. "I'm not okay! None of this is okay! Everything hurts!"
"I know honey, I know," Kings' voice was deep and soothing in her ear. "We got you, don't worry, we got you. We love you. We love you."
They held her like that for some time, her father continued comforting her in his even, soothing voice, and her mother rubbed her back. Eventually the tears stopped, utterly spent, just as the rain slowed to a fine mist, as she clung to her father, dry racking sobs occasionally rattling her otherwise exhausted body.
"Sweetie… Jamie, tell us how we can help you," Guin's voice was shaking. "Love, please help us make things better for you again."
"I-I can't go home," she hiccupped. "I can't do it this summer, mum. I have to get away."
"Where do you need to go, baby?" Kings asked her gently.
"I'll go stay with Severus," she said before she could even think about it, the solution popping into her brain. "He told me he spends the summers experimenting on potions and collecting ingredients. I'll go help him; I'll be his assistant this summer."
She sensed her parents meeting eyes over her, a silent conversation.
"Perhaps a change of scenery would be nice," Kings relented.
"And it would be academic, some sort of work experience," Guin acquiesced.
"Please," Jamie lifted her head, her eyes swollen and red.
"Jamie, what happened to your lip?" Guin reached for her in shock.
"Oh, Cho Chang slapped me after the funeral," Jamie muttered, having forgotten it.
"Any particular reason why?"
"She wouldn't leave me alone until I told her how Cedric died..."
"And so you told her?" Kingsley's eyebrows shot up.
"Well, I sort of screamed it at her," she mumbled, looking away.
"Jamie..." Guin sighed deeply, but her husband put his arm on her shoulder, shaking his head to tell her to drop it. A wand tip touched her lip, healing it quickly.
"Come," Guin helped her up. "We are going to get you cleaned up and your things packed. Your father will find Severus and make arrangements."
Jamie felt herself nodding, trailing behind her mother who kept a firm grip on her hand. When they entered the common room and everyone turned to stare at her, Guin kept her hand tightly grasped in her own, quickly leading her up the staircase to her room, shielding her from their eyes.
She let her mother help her into the shower and comb her hair out afterward. Sat numbly on her bed as Angelina and Guin packed her things around her, both shooting her worried looks. Guin said she would mail over her summer clothes to Severus's home; and Angelina promised to write.
When it was all said and done, Jamie stood up.
"I'm going to go say goodbye to Harry and tell him where I'm going," she explained. "I'll be right back and then we can go find Severus."
She ducked into Harry's dorm room. She knew he would already be back in bed. Shifting aside the curtains, she found him on his back staring up at the fabric overhead.
Without saying a word, he opened his arms for her, and she crawled into his embrace. Sobs racked through her as she buried her face into his shoulder while his own body shook with grief, his tears falling onto her face and mixing with her own.
AN: Thank you for reading thus far. i'm going to be taking a short break from posting so I can catch up and work on filling in some gaps in the chapters ahead.
Until next time...