Free Time Events: Miharu Mihama (Side C)
EVENT 1: Mihama-san can't help but feel that some of her accomplishments are only special because she's a child.
I asked Mihama-san a little about her talent. While not many people would consider the law to be a fascinating conversation topic, Mihama-san shared a few bits of interesting legal trivia that she learned.
"I'm impressed, Mihama-san," I said. "You really know a lot about the law."
"It... is not worthy of such high praise, Nagato-san," Mihama-san said. "Since a chilld cannot become a lawyer, prosecutor, judge or other such law-related occupations, the school cannot recognize my talent in those areas. This title is what might be considered the next best thing."
Mihama-san was right about that. Certain jobs required training that only adults could obtain, which was why there were no Ultimate Doctors that I knew of- even Hope's Peak's Ultimate Nurse was a talented, if untrained, girl my age.
"Perhaps it is," I said. "Still, that's just how the Ultimate titles work. They are given to exceptionally talented youths with the hope that they will soar to even greater heights in adulthood. Whether eleven, sixteen, or perhaps older, any deserving Ultimate is chosen with the principle in mind."
"Yes, I am aware," Mihama-san said, "but I cannot help but notice that the bar often seems to be set lower for the Ultimates than it would be for adults. Myself aside, Kirishima-san's accomplishments would be merely satisfactory for an adult researcher in genetics."
"You raise a good point," I said, "but in many ways, people expecting great things of you is, well, great. Perhaps it can be difficult to meet lofty expectations, but having them placed on you signifies that people believe you're good for something. After all, you wouldn't have been able to advance in grades so quickly if people didn't recognize hat you could do it?"
Mihama-san had to concede my point. Mom had always told me that growing up involved increasing both your responsibilities and your skills, a process that was especially fast for Mihama-san. She taught me not to place too much value on what others thought of me, especially when it came to the fact that I didn't have a father, but made it clear that I would have to prove myself when the time came to get into high school or get a job.
"You... are correct about that," Mihama-san said. "I apologize if I seem ungrateful."
"I never said you were," I said. "I just think that it's important for the talented to consider the perspective the talentless have, and vice versa."
For a moment, Mihama-san glanced at me skeptically, but then nodded.
"Fair enough," Mihama-san said. "There are times when I imagine how my life would have gone if... if things had been different."
I suspected that Mihama was about to say something other than "if I was not an Ultimate," or "if I was not smart enough to skip grades," but decided to leave her be for now, and she changed the subject. Each of us had our secrets, and she would reveal hers when she was ready.
EVENT 2: Mihama-san skipped several grades, resulting in her feeling like an outsider among the older students.
Mihama-san shared some stories about her old schools. Unlike most of us, her first year of high school wasn't the only time she'd only spent a year with the same class.
"If you do not mind my asking, Nagato-san," Mihama-san said, "do you have many friends at school?"
"Not many," I said. "Apart from the fact that I'm... well, because of my family circumstances, not many got close to me."
I wasn't quite ready to tell Mihama-san about my father just yet. Since she had many things she hadn't told me, either, she simply nodded and continued.
"I am similar in that regard," Mihama-san said. "Before I began skipping grades, I had several friends, but I parted ways with them as my rate of advancement exceeded theirs. Eventually, I was a younger girl surrounded by older peers, most of whom had already formed cliques, and it was difficult to connect with them."
"What do you mean?" I said.
"I will use Sasaki-san as an example," Mihama-san said. "She is rather informal with us, addressing us by our first names and '-chan.' You are her age, while I am a few years younger than her, but she chooses to treat me as though I am a friend in her age group. She asked me for permission before using my first name, and if I said no, she would have respected my wishes."
"Ah, yes," I said. "How does she get along with older people?"
"That is another story entirely," Mihama-san said. "If you were one or two years older than her, she would call you 'Nagato-senpai' or 'Nagato-san,' depending on whether you went to the same school, unless you insisted on being called something different. If you were five or more years older than her, you might even hear her call you 'ma'am,' depending on the circumstances."
While it was had to imagine her treating me differently, I'd always noticed her act a bit more polite around Mom, such as calling me "Chiyuri-san," rather than "Chiyuri-chan."
"True," I said, "and what about you?"
"Perhaps I would be more relaxed if you were my age or younger," Mihama-san said, "but in the end, being a young girl among older teenagers is a part of who I am, and it's a part that I play."
I nodded in agreement. There were times when I wondered how my life might have turned out if my father had lived, but the only thing I was certain about was that I would have likely become a very different person. While I wasn't completely happy with the person I was, I knew that there was no point in wondering what might have been. Perhaps Mihama-san felt the same way.
EVENT 3: While skipping grades hasn't always been easy for Mihama-san, she's determined to stick with that path.
Mihama-san and I talked about some of our old acquaintances, speculating about what they were up to now.
"I suppose you' have noticed that one's grade is generally tied to one's age," Mihama-san said. "In most cases, you go to school with people of the same age, would you not?"
"Yes, I would," I said, "but I suppose you're the exception, aren't you?"
"An exception," Mihama-san said, "since not only are there those who advance quickly, but those who lag behind. One of my friends when I was young, Ayumu-chan, had an older sister, Koyomi-san. Back when I first met her, Koyomi-san treated me like a kid, calling me 'Miharu-chan.' She was not disrespectful, but it was clear that part of the reason why she addressed me more informally was because I was younger."
I was a bit surprised to hear Mihama-san refer to one of her yearmates so informally. Part of the reason was because I was used to her being more polite than average with her older classmates at Talent High School. Another part was that I imagined she was cut from the same cloth as I was, going the extra mile to be polite and keeping people at a distance, but in her case, it was only due to being younger than us.
"What happened next?" I said.
"Around the time I advanced to my final year of middle school, Koyomi-san was held back in her second year," Mihama-san said, "so her 'kid sister's friend' ended up becoming her senpai. She ended up calling me 'Mihama-senpai' instead, which ended up feeling a bit awkward. Of course, a year later, I graduated, and stopped seeing her altogether."
Mihama-senpai sounded a bit sad. In truth, there weren't many people in my classes that I missed seeing, especially not after I transferred schools in elementary school, but I could imagine why she wouldn't want to say goodbye to her friends. The only thing I couldn't imagine was why she'd chosen to do so anyway.
"If you don't mind my asking," I said, "why go to all the trouble to get through school as quickly as possible?"
Mihama-san was at a loss for words.
"You raise a good question," Mihama-san said. "I had long thought that childhood, a period in which you are dependent on your parents- if you are lucky enough to have them- is not only fleeting, but is meant to be. I had always assumed that the sooner I could rise up past the period, the sooner I would become of use to Mother and Father."
"And what about now?" I said.
"I do not regret my decisions," Mihma-san said. "The path I am on may not be easy, but it is one I have chosen for myself, out of the belief that it would be best for myself and my family."
We let the conversation end there, since Mihama-san had answered my question as much as she was willing to, but once again, there were things she had not told me. Despite that, I hoped that she would eventually trust me enough to tell me the rest.
EVENT 4: Mihama-san confesses that since her father was imprisoned, she's had to grow up too fast.
Mihama-san and I met up once again. After exchanging greetings, Mihama-san picked up right where we'd left off.
"I have been thinking about your question, Nagato-san," Mihama-san said, "since I often wonder it myself. Papa often said that I should simply take things at my own pace, like a normal girl."
"Papa?" I said.
"I-I meant to say Father," Mihama-san said. "It was my intention to refer to my father respectfully."
"Why is that?" I said. "My mom's perfectly fine with being called 'Mom' at home, as long as I call her 'Nagato-sensei' at school. Or does your father demand more respect?"
Mihama-san shook her head, then sighed.
"I may as well be honest and tell you the whole story," Mihama-san said. "When I was six, Papa was convicted of a crime and sentenced to ten years in prison. As you can imagine, Mama struggled to raise and provide for me by herself, so I sought to do anything I could to grow up quickly and lessen her burden."
"I think I know where you're coming from," I said. "My mom's also a single mother, and the only difference is that my dad's gone forever."
"I am sorry to hear that," Mihama-san said. "My life has been difficult without my father, as has my mother's, but at the very least, we can look forward to the day when Papa returns to us, and be grateful for that."
I was honestly surprised, not to mention happy, that I was able to provide this modicum of comfort to Mihama-san. Most of those who expressed pity for others were relatively comfortable themselves, but Mihama-san had concluded that I was worse off than her, and so was able to appreciate what she had. Perhaps it wasn't realistic for everyone to have equal fortune, but if the haves had genuine empathy- not pity- for the have-nots, while the have-nots showed similar compassion to anyone who was troubled, the world might be a kinder place.
"I hope that day comes, soon," I said, "but what will you and your father do when it arrives?"
"Papa hopes to make up for lost time," Mihama-san said, "since he left us when I was a young girl, and I will be a teenager by the time he is released. As for me, while I know that he was convicted and imprisoned because of a mistake he made, I will strive to forgive him and accept his efforts with an open mind and heart. I suppose that will involve letting him be my father."
As I expressed approval for Mihama-san's promise, I knew that in some ways, she was lucky, since her father would eventually come home, unlike mine. I'd long accepted that there was nothing in the world that could bring Dad back, and that it was pointless to begrudge others for their good fortune, so there was no reason not to be happy for her. If anything, I hoped to have as clear of a plan for the future as she did, but that was something I would have to figure out on my own.
EVENT 5: Mihama-san has come to terms with herself. She's changed, so maybe I can, too.
Mihama-san had me come over to her cabin, where we sat on the bed together. She only had a potted plant and a movie poster, which she said were meant to make her cabin feel like home as long as she was on the cruise.
"I've come to an epiphany, Nagato-san," Mihama-san said, in a more casual tone than I'd heard from her in our previous conversations. "All this time, I've been acting childishly."
"Really, Mihama-san?" I said. "You seem like the most mature person I've met.
"I'm talking about my attempts to seem more mature," Mihama-san said. "It's all well and good to want to be a bit more independent, but I have to admit that part of it was nothing more than pride. I often felt pressured to appear respectable in front of my older peers, and considering that my classmates are similarly talented Ultimates, that pressure was especially high."
I knew all too well how Mihama-san felt. As far as I knew, her talent for the law was genuinely Ultimate-level, unlike mine, but she still felt out of place among us. Perhaps it would be a stretch to call us equals, but I had more in common with my classmates than I realized.
"I won't judge you for that," I said. "Your circumstances aside, I've always been conscious of how I come across to others. My mom always taught me that good manners were important, and I've felt compelled to go the extra mile to fit in."
"I've noticed," Mihama-san said. "Because you kept your distance from most of us, I wasn't sure whether you'd welcome my attempting to get closer, but now, I realize that we're similar in many regards. I'm glad we became friends."
"Me too, Mihama-san," I said.
As we shook hands, I realized that in her own way, Mihama-san, one of the most mature members of this class, not to mention for her age, had managed to change herself and become more of a grown-up in the process. I knew I still had my own baggage weighing me down, which wouldn't be as easy to get rid of as hers, but I could follow her example, take a step forward on my own, and eventually become a person I could be proud of.
Author's Notes
This is another FTE chain in which Chiyuri's version touches on a different aspect of the character from Azuki's version. Her growing up with a single mother, and to a lesser extent, her admiration of Mihama, help shape the course this one takes. In this case, what is discussed in Azuki and Mihama's conversation from Chapter III, Part 1 also helps color this, as the two have a surprising amount in common (not only are their fathers not in their lives, but they also feel out of place among their peers).