A/N Just so you all know, the sequel, In Need of Polish has been posted, so check it out!
Micro Meetings 4
1, Bomb Bluffing Lessons
Lloyd wondered how his life had come to this.
"I-I am n-n-not holding a b-bomb," he stuttered as he held a pair of wire cutters and tried to disarm the ticking bomb on his lap.
His concentration was ruined by a voice to his left.
"Pfff, you call that convincing?" his father said, leaning over to rest one of his arms on top of Lloyd's head and leaned his weight on it. "I've heard mimes more convincing than that."
"Mimes don't talk," Lloyd protested.
"They do. You're just not dealing with them right," said his father cheerfully.
Lloyd did not want to know what he'd done to some poor mimes.
"Now try it again," said Garmadon. "And this time, really sell it to me that there's not a bomb in this room. Oh, and also cut that red wire without touching anything else so we don't get blasted to kingdom come."
With trembling hands, Lloyd did as he instructed and said quickly, "I am not holding a bomb!"
Lord Garmadon hummed consideringly. "Well, points for not stuttering, but if you say something that fast you sound guilty. You can't sound guilty, you need indignation. Like, how DARE they accuse you of having a bomb! Also, now cut the green wire- NO, NOT THAT GREEN WIRE!"
Lloyd quickly jerked the wire cutters away from that wire and quickly cut the other green one. "I am not holding a bomb," he said in his best indignant voice.
"Hmmm, better, but still sounds fake. Now cut the blue wire and try again."
Lloyd suppressed a groan and did as he said.
Finally, Lloyd managed to bluff well enough to satisfy his father (for now), and he cut the last wire to disarm the bomb.
His father laughed when Lloyd let out a massive sigh of relief as the timer stopped.
"Chill out, Luh-Loyd," Garmadon said as he ruffled his son's hair. "It's a fake. Like I'd let you disarm a real bomb on your first try."
At that exact moment a general in a jellyfish costume walked in and said, "Hey Boss, I've got that dud bomb you wanted!"
The two Garmadons stared blankly at the new bomb before their gazes slowly shifted to look at the gutted bomb still sitting innocently on Lloyd's lap.
The second it sank in what happened, without missing a beat, Garmadon turned to the general and said, "You're fired!"
The general seemed to recognize the tone of the former warlord's voice and made a hasty retreat, not wanting to become the exception to the 'no more firing people out of the volcano' rule.
The second the now-former general was gone, the father and son shared an awkward look.
Finally, Garmadon took the disarmed bomb off Lloyd's lap and gingerly placed it in a trash can.
"Koko must never hear about this," said Garmadon, his voice uncharacteristically serious. "I'm bribing you, Luh-Loyd. What do you want?"
Lloyd let out a strangled sort of laugh and slid out of his seat and onto the floor, too freaked at what just happened to even respond.
How was this his life?
2, Age is but a Number
"You're WHAT!"
The source of the shout, Lord Garmadon, had bolted up out of his seat and was staring at his counterpart in shock.
To be fair, half of the table was doing the same. The other half seemed confused by the extreme reaction.
It was another game night for the entire Garmadon family. This time, Sensei Wu managed to join them and was making an effort to interact with Morro like nothing was wrong despite still having his past with his counterpart weighing heavily on his conscience.
This lead to Sensei Wu often losing.
Badly.
Even Lord Garmadon was doing better than him (which was making him very pleased and insufferable).
Eventually, Sensei Garmadon had joked, "Honestly, Brother, over a thousand years of experience, and you are being beaten by children and a buffoon."
It was this comment that had caused Lord Garmadon to bellow the aforementioned question and was now glancing between the two senseis in shock.
"We're what?" asked Sensei Garmadon in confusion.
"You're how old?" Lord Garmadon asked, sounding like he was being strangled.
Sensei Garmadon and Sensei Wu exchanged glances and shrugged. "Honestly, I have lost count," said the older of the two. "Do you remember, Wu?"
"Time had barely gotten a name when we were born," said Wu in reply. "I do not remember either, but I believe it is somewhere over a thousand, give or take a century."
Lord Garmadon let out a choking sound, and his brother looked boggled at the thought.
"And I thought I was super, super old," said Master Wu in utter disbelief.
Misako, ever curious, asked, "Then how old are you?"
"I'm one hundred and seventy-four!" Lord Garmadon blurted out. "And Wu's only seven years younger than me!"
Morro let out an impressed whistle. "That's quite an age gap."
The Sensei brothers looked utterly surprised at that as well.
"I suppose that explains their lack of maturity," Sensei Garmadon muttered just loud enough for his brother to hear.
Sensei Wu chuckled in agreement. It hadn't escaped their notice how their counterparts tended to constantly bicker like toddlers.
"Lloyd, are you okay?" asked Koko, and they turned to see that she was asking both Lloyds, who had gone equally white in the face.
"That is so long," Lil'Loyd whimpered. "So long."
"We'll be fine," said Luh-Loyd, looking like he was trying to hold it together for the both of them. "We talked about it. We'll be fine."
Thankfully, Lord Garmadon was able to pull them out of their funk by doing what he always did. Shooting his mouth off.
"I KNEW IT!" he cheered, jumping onto the table and scattering their game (not that they were playing anymore anyway). "Didn't I tell you, Luh-Loyd! I will never die!"
"I wouldn't go that far," said Sensei Garmadon, but his counterpart was no longer listening, as he was now dancing on top of the table like a lunatic (it was the Dance of Doom, what did you expect).
Seeing this, Luh-Loyd managed to crack a smile and whisper to his little brother, "At least we'll have Dad and Uncle Wu with us too. Sounds like they've got a long way to go."
Lil'Loyd smiled and looked more assured.
They'd be alright.
3, Lost in Translation
Both the Ninja Force and their dimensional counterparts could only stare in bewilderment as Zen Zane, Pep Zane, Tiny Echo, and Rusty Echo all conversed oddly.
Specifically, an oddity named Machine learning Original Module.
Or as Pep Zane and Tiny Echo called her, Mom.
They weren't conversing with each other about Pep and Tiny's Mom. They were all talking to Pep and Tiny's Mom. Something utterly bewildering when the computer they were speaking to could only screech at them in dial-up noises.
"Uhhh, Zane?" asked Nick Jay. "Didn't you say before you couldn't understand her any more than we could?"
Zen turned to look at his very confused friends and replied, "Oh, that was just a misunderstanding. I simply needed to get used to her accent."
Rusty Echo nodded in agreement like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
The collective human ninja exchanged bewildered glances and shrugged.
"If you say so," said Spike Kai.
IMPORTANT NOTE! I and some other authors have been having difficulty getting PMs through email as usual. I'm sure that feature will be fixed soon, but if you leave a comment on this fic and want to see my reply, check your PM folder on this site instead of email.
A/N More Micro Meetings because they're short but fun! Still, this is the last Greener Pastures chapter for a while, and the biweekly updates will now be given to In Need of Polish. Don't worry, this isn't the end of these oneshots. I have some set during In Need of Polish, and plenty set after it too. I just won't be updating it twice a week until the sequel is finished posting, but there's still more to come.
Movie: Luh-Loyd, Lord Garmadon, Master Wu, Koko, Pep Zane, Tiny Echo
Show: Lil'Loyd, Sensei Garmadon, Sensei Wu, Misako, Zen Zane, Rusty Echo, Nick Jay, Spike Kai
1, This started as a joke between me and Kay Hau. We thought it was funny how badly Luh-Loyd was bluffing in the movie with the Ultimate Weapon. It was clear he didn't really want to use it, and Lord G knew it. The only reason he actually did use it was because Lord G goaded him into it by calling his bluff. We thought it'd be funny if Lord Garmadon decided to give Luh-Loyd training to fix that, and adding it to his bomb-defusing training was just killing two birds with one stone (along with Luh-Loyd's stress levels). The last part with the dud bomb and Garmadon bribing Lloyd all came from Kay Hau. The lines came from her, and it was too funny not to use.
2, Poor Sensei Wu. He's still having trouble with his Morro guilt, but at least he's trying. It's said in the movie that Lord G and Master Wu are 174 and 167 respectively. I assumed it was the same in the show, but then season 11 came along and said they met Aspheera over a THOUSAND years ago! Seriously, how old are these guys? Anyway, because of that, there's a possibility that the main reason those two versions of those guys are so different could be chalked up to maturity. The Lloyds being freaked out over how old Sensei Wu and Sensei Garmadon are is a reference to Kay Hau's Greener Gift-Fics story, in the third chapter titled Like Me. In it, the Lloyds discuss their somewhat inhuman qualities and bond over them. Check it out if you get the time.
3, This is mostly just a joke. Nindroids can understand Pep Zane's mom just fine. People... not so much. There's a reason for that, but it'll be explained in In Need of Polish. Mostly, the Zanes' friends are just confused why they keep talking to the screeching.
Major thanks to Kay Hau for all her help in writing these Micro Meetings. As mentioned above, she was a big help in writing a lot of them, and I highly recommend her fics too. They're great reads.