"Lea, wake up."

Someone was nudging Axel's shoulder. It was a miracle that he could be awakened while in such a deep sleep. He could still feel the full effect of the narcotic painkillers, making his head swim with sedation. He was certain he'd been dreaming, but couldn't remember what any of it was about. His heavy eyelids fluttered open and he squinted into the face of Saïx hovering over him. "Hmm? Isa? What is it?"

"You must come to the lab at once."

Axel's stomach dropped. "Why? What happened? Is it Roxas?"

"Roxas is fine, but we must hurry."

Axel sprang out of bed as quickly as he could in his condition. More than a week had passed since the berserk incident and the injuries were healing very nicely, but his joints were still rather stiff and hard to control. With Saïx's gracious assistance, he slipped into his coat and they hurried out the door. It was still quite dark, and dawn was hours away. Axel longed to ask Saïx any one of the thousand questions that raced through his mind, but his still-mending ribs were already protesting the brisk pace of their trek to the lab. When they made it to the door and crept inside, they found Zexion working diligently on a computer console. He gasped softly at the sight of his visitors, but quickly relaxed when he recognized who had come. "You're here. Come inside."

They approached the desk and peeked over Zexion's shoulder at the documents he was studying. It was largely a jumbled mess of code that neither of them could understand.

"Alright, Zexion. What's this about?" Axel inquired, crossing his arms. "Saïx here may not sleep, but—"

"I have important information regarding the experiment. Something none of us could have predicted," the apprentice answered, rapidly typing commands into the keyboard. "Saïx here was snooping through some classified files in Xemnas' computer. He found some that were related to Roxas and the vessel."

Axel's jaw dropped and he turned to Saïx. "Isa, that was really risky…"

"It was worth it," Saïx insisted. "I'm not a scientist, so most of the data was beyond me. I had Zexion analyze it in secret."

Zexion nodded and pressed on. "I've been deciphering the code little by little every night. And what I've discovered is astounding…" he pulled up a lengthy document full of unfamiliar jargon, numbers, and other technical data that Axel didn't recognize. "Sabotage."

Axel stared at the screen, frozen. "What?"

"Xemnas sabotaged the experiment. He wanted this to fail from the very beginning."

Only moments ago, Axel's mind had raced with an endless stream of questions. He wondered if Roxas was well, he wondered if Vexen had been found, he wondered if his own injuries were more severe than they'd initially thought — there were a plethora of reasons Zexion could have summoned him at this hour, but this was not one he'd expected. And so, although his mind was filled with noise only seconds earlier, it was now eerily silent as it processed the news, completely devoid of thought in the face of such utter shock.

"But… why? Why would he authorize this project if he just wanted it to fail?"

Zexion began to scroll down the pages, releasing a long sigh as he skimmed through the material. "Some of the documents mention some old legends and historical counts regarding some Keyblade War, something about forging an ancient weapon, documents on extracting and manipulating light and darkness from people's hearts…"

"Yeah, okay, get to the point."

"First things first," he tapped a few keys and an image flashed on the screen. "Do you recognize this boy?"

Zexion had summoned a photo of a young boy standing in an unfamiliar location. Axel didn't have to look very long to have the answer to his question. The subject was wearing odd clothes that Axel had never seen, but his face and his hair made his identity quite obvious. "Well yeah, that's Roxas."

"No," Saïx shook his head. "Lea, that's Ventus."

Axel's jaw dropped. "Wh-What?"

"Think back. We met him when we were kids. You remember?"

It was as if the revelation wouldn't register. Axel's mind simply could not compute. "I— what? Isa, what are you talking about?"

Saïx took Axel's head in his hands, the stern look in his eyes laced with what Axel could only describe as desperation. "Think hard, Lea! The little stray puppy in the square, playing with a wooden keyblade. You sparred with him, he kicked your sorry ass, we all had a good laugh. I know you remember him!"

Saïx's urgent pleas seemed to unlock something in Axel's mind. He could see the very scenes the man had described. All at once, his head was bombarded with a high speed reel of images as memories came flooding back into his consciousness. His head throbbed with the sudden rush, and he hissed in pain, clasping at his temples and wavering with vertigo. "Ah…!"

A concerned Zexion reached out to stabilize him. "Axel—!"

"Don't," Saix waved an arm to halt his interference. "This happened to me, too. He's remembering."

The pain was dissipating and the hazy memories were clearing into vivid flashbacks. Back when they were Lea and Isa, readying themselves to join the apprentices, they happened upon a sad looking child with a strangely-shaped wooden sword. Lea was too sunny a boy to leave the poor kid like that. They had to cheer him up. He wasn't going to leave until he saw the boy smile.

I'll see you when I see you. After all, we're friends now. Get it memorized.

"Ventus… H-How did we forget…?"

"I don't know," Saïx answered, crossing his arms as he thought to himself. "But I think Xemnas has a deeper connection to him than he's letting on. Why else would he go to such lengths to revive him?"

Axel stepped away from the screen, grimacing under the lingering ache in his head. So that was the heart they'd all been searching for. That was the keyblade wielder Xemnas wanted to duplicate. But why him? As far as Axel had known, he was just some kid. He didn't look like any hero or saint or royalty. It was anyone's guess what made him so special. An even greater mystery to Axel was the boy's appearance. He wasn't sure he even wanted to know why Ventus looked like Roxas, even less so what that meant for his best friend. Potential answers swirled about in his head, each more foreboding than the last, and he swallowed down the sudden onset of nausea in time for Zexion to end the hiatus.

The scientist cleared his throat, clicked a few buttons and gestured to the screen once more. "I've managed to recover some old documents that Xemnas had encrypted. These, in particular, were rather… enlightening."

Axel didn't budge from his spot across the room. "I don't want to read them."

"Lea," Saïx insisted. "This is important."

The two shared a stern glare. Axel might have won if he had any desire, but he was in no mood for conflict. With a defiant huff, he broke the standoff and sauntered to the console with his arms folded. He leaned in and skimmed through the document, a report written by the Superior himself.

Report - Replica Program - Date: XO

Vexen wants to attempt yet another replica experiment, similar to the power siphon from the previous model. This unit will be designed to absorb memories it is programmed to target, and Vexen claims that it will seek out hearts that have lost their way. I do admit some trepidation. Vexen's last replicas all became corrupt and were subsequently deactivated. I decided that it was in the Organization's best interests to terminate the program altogether, but curiosity and intrigue are rapidly getting the better of me.

Since allowing Naminé and her "wise" friend to take Sora, we race against the clock in reclaiming the stray memories. If any of those memories remain within the castle walls, it is imperative that we collect them before our foes get to them. At first, the memories were merely a trail of breadcrumbs I'd hoped would guide us to Ventus once and for all, but with this new model of replica, I may have found the workaround I have been searching for. It is my hope that with those memories, and the data I've recovered, we can reconstruct the heart of Ventus entirely inside Roxas himself. If successful, our search would be over, and we would no longer have any need for a replica body — Roxas already has one. We would have no further use for Sora, and would happily release him with our blessing. The boy has been a dry well all along.

What remains to be seen is the extent of the damage to Ventus. His heart was fractured, but I have the means to replace the missing piece, and Roxas and the scientists would be none the wiser. I can make quick work of it. I've no shortage of darkness now. All I require is an opening. If we are successful in reviving Ventus, then we are one step closer to restoring ourselves. The costs be damned.

"'Missing piece?'" Axel questioned, slightly disturbed by some of the language in the document. "I don't get it."

"From what I've been able to interpret, Ventus' heart was fractured somehow. Then, some time later, his heart and his body were lost. I suppose Xemnas has the missing fragments and intends to put them back."

"And how is he gonna do that?"

Zexion lowered his eyes. "Your guess is as good as mine, I'm afraid…"

Despite all the new information, Axel was left with more questions than answers. Zexion, looking increasingly apprehensive, minimized the page and pulled up a second report, which Axel read carefully and with much reluctance.

Report - Replica Program - Date: OO

The engagement has commenced.

It has been nineteen weeks since the vessel was placed inside Roxas. Although the boy remains in relatively fair health, the experiment has been quite taxing. The mission at Castle Oblivion was not successful - Roxas collapsed a short while after entering and remained unconscious for some time afterward. Since then, he has been restricted to bed and continues to show symptoms of physical distress. As pitiable as it is, I believe I am witnessing the answer to my prayers. The heart of Ventus must have been found, and is now met with the missing piece I inserted all those weeks ago.

My comrades continue to exhibit signs of a reawakening of their latent emotions. In an organization of heartless men, I have seen anger, fear, sadness, and even romantic inclinations arise from what were once empty husks. I can only hypothesize that it is a side effect of the experiment, although I do not have an explanation for such a phenomenon. A number of my subordinates have expressed concern for Roxas - heated arguments have become an almost regular occurrence in our morning meetings. Despite the setbacks, I press onward. A breakthrough is on the horizon, and we cannot interrupt this miracle when the ultimate reward is practically in our grasp.

All we can do now is wait, yet I find myself growing impatient. There is much at stake. Without the clash, we will not have our key to humanity. Nevertheless, for the first time in many years, I feel a glimmer of hope. At last, my life's work will come to fruition inside this young keyblade wielder I've collected into my ranks. Roxas may not survive, but his sacrifice will not be in vain. He is the most worthy vessel of all. Kingdom Hearts, do not fail us now.

Without a word, Axel stepped away from the console and sank into a chair at the other end of the room with his head in his hands. He had questions. He had answers. It all made perfect sense, and yet it didn't. How could he have been so naive? Roxas was the vessel all along. The illness, the pain, the deterioration, the suffering — it was all part of Xemnas' plan. Roxas was the experiment, and he was never meant to survive it.

From the moment they'd all lost their hearts and become Nobodies, the Organization had only one goal: to regain their hearts and become human again. They'd performed dozens, maybe hundreds of experiments in the past decade, each of them a failure, all in the interest of getting their hearts back. Axel and Saïx had been test subjects for a number of harrowing trials over the years. Some were painful. Some were frightening. Some showed real promise. Not one of them was successful.

Now, Xemnas was convinced he'd done it. Somehow, this was going to return their hearts to them at last. This was how they'd reclaim their humanity. Everything they'd worked for, their one shared purpose, and now, Axel wanted no part in it. Not at such a steep price. If it meant that he would lose Roxas, Axel didn't want a heart at all.

He could hear footsteps approaching, but didn't look up to see who they belonged to. Someone laid a hand on his back and he flinched, shrugging them off.

"Lea," the voice of Saïx whispered. "Please, listen."

Zexion spoke up after a brief pause. "This all looks grim. I understand that. But I'm not giving up yet."

Axel said nothing, only quietly listening as he was asked.

"Nothing is certain. We might still lose him," Zexion continued. "But if there's even a small chance to get Roxas out of this in one piece, I'm going to take it."

When Axel was still silent in response, Saïx brought the discussion to its conclusion. "Getting Vexen back is our only hope. He's the only one who could find a way around this."

Amidst all the theorizing and the explanations and the comforting sentiments, Axel still did not speak a word. He couldn't. He clenched his fists, biting his lip instead. His task was clear. However this experiment ended, he would not falter in his role as the sturdy anchor Roxas needed. He would not break. Not when his friend was counting on him to be strong — for both of them. He would keep his chin up. He would get by, living on long talks and short laughs. Ice cream and sunsets. Memories of the past and dreams of the future. It was all too little, but it would have to be enough.

He rose from his chair, offering at least a nod of acknowledgement to the others before heading for the door. Saïx reached for him, taking his sleeve. This time, Axel did not wrestle away, instead turning to look the man in the eye. There he was again. Isa. Staring at him with something far deeper than pity. Ten years ago, Axel might have dashed into his arms, embraced him tightly, cried into his shoulder. But tonight, he only sighed and dropped his head.

Saïx turned to the young apprentice. "Zexion," he ordered. "Go to bed."

"But shouldn't I—?"

"You've been up all night and you look like hell. You can finish this tomorrow."

Zexion gulped audibly, wringing his hands. "Alright. You'll have a report from me as soon as possible."

Saïx nodded. "Be careful."

The two stepped into the hallway and began the slow trek back to Axel's room. Axel still hadn't spoken a word, too drained to even think. Saïx was holding his hand. He'd barely noticed. He should have been stunned by the gesture, moved by the show of affection, but in his relentless bout of sorrow, Axel lacked the capacity to care at all. It wasn't like it meant anything now. It wasn't like the man was going to drop to his knees and confess his undying love for him. They were Nobodies. They had no hearts, and they couldn't feel anything. This sadness that weighed so heavy in Axel's gut was just a falsehood, and it was high time he found some comfort in that.

They'd only made it a few feet down the hallway when Saïx stopped walking, and Axel right along with him. "Lea," he muttered softly. "I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything."

In an uncharacteristic show of obedience, Saïx honored his request. Axel welcomed the space to think, yet found the silence unsatisfying, even more aggravating than the empty reassurance he might have expected in its place. He turned to his companion, posing a question to which he already knew the answer. "Are we gonna tell Roxas about this?"

There was a long pause ahead of Saïx's forlorn response. "That would only frighten him more."

Axel wasn't surprised. He wasn't disappointed. He wasn't angry. He slumped his shoulders, searching inward for the strength to accept the reality of the situation, imploring the universe to send him some reinforcement. He could feel Saïx's eyes on him, watching him struggle with despair and hopelessness he knew were fake, yet couldn't ignore no matter what he did.

"If there was anything I could do…"

"I know," Axel squeezed his hand. "Thanks, Isa."

Axel was certain at that point that Saïx would leave him be, but the man stood right where he was, having not moved a muscle. They hovered there in the corridor, still connected at the fingers, the space between them closing rapidly with every second. For once, Axel didn't question whether it was appropriate to kiss him now. There were no doubts and no worries, no baggage weighing them down. He didn't have to second guess whether or not it felt right to do. He didn't care why either of them wanted this. The expectant look on Saïx's upturned face gave him all the answers he needed. Axel approached somewhat hesitantly, testing the waters, but meeting no resistance as he took the man's lips with his own. It was a welcome release to let themselves linger, even knowing someone could come down the hall and discover them any moment. They basked in the nostalgic glow of those days when they didn't have to hide anything, when they weren't a forbidden secret. Axel delicately laced his fingers through Saïx's hair, sweeping it away and admiring the face concealed behind it. Isa's face. Blushing like it did back then. His eyes glossed over with adoration. He should have told the man that he was beautiful. He should have told him a thousand times before tonight.

Axel could have let the kiss go on forever, but Saïx broke it off, taking a step back and seeming troubled by the encounter. His posture seized up immediately as he folded his arms across himself, guarded and trepidatious. Axel laid a hand on his shoulder, and while he didn't flinch, he didn't lean into it like he had a moment ago.

"Isa, what's wrong?"

Saïx visibly battled with his response. "I made a terrible mistake… all those years ago."

Axel smiled warmly. "We both did."

"That's not what I meant," he shrugged out of Axel's grasp and began to pace. "I was deceived."

"What do you mean?"

Saïx had torn off a glove and was pressing his fingers into his forehead with a grimace. His pacing had halted and he stood completely frozen, growing more agitated by the second. After a tense beat of silence, he sighed, shaking his head. "It's not important. Goodnight, Lea."

"Isa, wait," Axel caught him by the wrist as he turned to go. "Don't do this again."

Saïx had things to say. Axel could see the words on his tongue, screaming to be heard, yet the man didn't speak a single one of them. The message crept into his expression, in his furrowed brow, his clenched jaw and his sad eyes. Even as Axel framed his face with his hands, leaning into his forehead, pleading for a connection, Saïx only pursed his lips.

"Whatever it is, Isa, it's hurting you," Axel implored him. "Please, talk to me."

Saïx squeezed his eyes shut, trembling with the effort of containing the words he longed to say. "I can't."

"You can tell me anything."

"Please," he breathed, taking Axel's wrists and freeing himself from his grasp. "Keep your distance. It's for your own good."

Before Axel could respond, Saïx summoned a dark corridor and disappeared into thin air, leaving him with only the questioning voices in his mind to stave off the loneliness. Staring at the space where his old friend had stood, Axel spent the quiet moments reflecting. He thought he knew Saïx better than anyone in the Organization. There was nothing he could not intuit, nothing the man could keep from him. He was a terrible liar, and most of the time, Axel could read him like a book. It was plainly obvious that the man was troubled, more so than Axel had ever seen him. From what he could remember, it began the morning after they'd made love. Or perhaps even earlier. During the encounter itself. Axel racked his brain. No, it was even before that. The berserk incident — that was when Saïx truly began to change, visibly and dramatically. Axel supposed the man felt bad about the attack, but that explanation simply did not suffice. This was deeper, stronger, and more painful than ordinary guilt.

Axel stepped over to the window, gazing up at the Kingdom Hearts moon looming overhead. Xemnas' pride and joy — the Organization's saving grace. That damned rock floating in the sky was responsible for more suffering than it was worth. Saïx always said he could hear the euphoria of the hearts collected up there. He called it exhilarating. But Axel knew better. He knew the man could hear more than just bliss, whether he chose to listen or not. Anger built inside Axel's core. That moon was the wedge that was driven between them. That moon was what changed Saïx from the man he used to be into the monster he eventually became, and now that he showed real promise in reverting back to his old self, that damned moon reached out and sank its claws into his will, dragging him back into the depths. Trapping him just out of Axel's reach. Drowning him.

Seething, Axel raised a fist and was ready to throw it through the window with all his weight when he heard an unexpected voice behind him.

"Oh, Axel, I thought you'd gone to bed," Zexion approached, tilting his head curiously. "Are you okay? Did you need something?"

Axel took a moment to read his face. The poor kid. He looked so tired. Much like Saïx, the young apprentice had a weighty look about him, a plethora of emotions concealed behind the veil of weariness and stress. Smiling for his sake, Axel slipped his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Only your company."

Zexion flashed a meek smile of his own, barely masking the fatigue in his eyes. "You're welcome to walk with me. But I'm afraid I won't be very good company."

"Is something wrong?"

He didn't answer, and he didn't need to. It was written all over his face. All at once, Axel remembered that day when he walked into the square with Isa and happened upon that sad little boy with the wooden sword. The stray puppy who needed a hand up and out of his slump, a little light to outshine the darkness.

"You want to talk about it?"

Zexion's eyes were fixed on the ground as he muttered his response. "It was my fault…"

Axel wrapped an arm around his shoulders, leading the way while they walked. "Tell me what happened."

They made it all the way to the first corner before Zexion had finally summoned the courage to speak. "When I heard that Vexen disappeared, I… I don't know, I think I panicked. Demyx was pressing me and I just… snapped."

Axel nodded understandingly. "You were upset. That kind of thing is normal."

"But I took it out on Demyx. Now I don't know how to talk to him… I don't know what to say…"

"You should say you're sorry."

Zexion sighed heavily. "I don't think that would be enough…"

"I do," Axel insisted. "You had a little spat. It happens. Couples fight all the time. But the ones who were meant to be together always make up afterwards."

They'd reached the staircase and began their slow climb. To Zexion, Axel was an expert in this department. There was so much wisdom behind his words that the apprentice could not help but eat it all up. The word 'couple' was still such a jarring term when used in reference to him and Demyx, but at the same time, it felt very right to call themselves one. Did this mean that they were meant to be together, like Axel described? Or were they just wasting their time fooling themselves into believing they could feel as happy as they did without hearts?

"Axel," he spoke up apprehensively, hoping to give voice to at least one of the million questions in his mind. "I feel this ache when I'm with him. I can't describe it. It's so intense… and I don't recognize it at all."

Well, I'll be… "I sure do," Axel grinned. "And I think you should tell him that, too."

"What if he doesn't forgive me?"

Axel gave him a friendly pat on the back. "If I'm reading the two of you right, I think he will. I'm pretty sure he feels the same 'ache' that you do."

Finally, Zexion's face lit up just a touch. "You really think so?"

"Oh yeah. Definitely," Axel assured him. "He'll come right around and it'll be like your little fight never happened."

Zexion took a moment to ponder Axel's advice, at last lifting his head with a grateful smile. "Thanks, Axel."

They had reached Zexion's door just as their conversation came to its natural conclusion. All things considered, Axel was pleased with the discussion, having decided that even if his own love life was in shambles, he could at least help his younger friend out with his. He'd known Zexion since they were kids, and a ten years ago, he might have assumed the little scientist would be a hopeless case as far as relationships were concerned. He was always a loner, always shy, never one for charisma or extroversion, and his nose was always buried in a book that seemed far too advanced for a boy his age. But now, it filled Axel with a sense of pride, accomplishment, and relief to know that his less-than-kind judgments from back then were wrong. His sociability notwithstanding, Zexion was a good guy, and he deserved to enjoy this flavor of ecstasy as much as any of them. And so, Axel endeavored to happily nurture this budding relationship with all the love and care a wise older brother could provide.

He yawned widely and was preparing to take his leave when a thought struck him. "Zexion, are you a hugger?"

"A what?"

"You know, hugs," he repeated. "Do you do that sort of thing?"

"I… I guess I… I mean, I don't—"

"Alright, come here."

Axel didn't give him any more warning than that before he threw his arms around his shoulders and enveloped him in a deep embrace. For a moment, Zexion wasn't sure how to react. He stood rigid, his arms locked at his sides. Axel was squeezing him, not so tightly as to be painful, not so much that he couldn't breathe, but just enough to give him a rather pleasant sense of warmth and closeness. The whole experience was peculiar in how foreign it was. Of course Zexion had been hugged before, but this one was very different. Ordinarily, he supposed he might have felt uncomfortable, but for some reason, there was no awkwardness in the sudden affectionate lapse in composure for either of them.

The longer they stood there, the deeper they seemed to connect. Zexion could feel Axel's emotions as if they radiated through his skin. They were exceptionally potent, so intense that it was a wonder the poor man didn't collapse under the weight of them all. It was then that he understood what a hug was for — to let someone else carry that burden, if only for a few seconds. Zexion closed his eyes and relaxed into it, eventually slipping his own arms around Axel's back and reciprocating the gesture. To his surprise and dismay, his own emotions seemed to make a sudden mad dash to the forefront of his consciousness, each competing for command of his full attention. They were too loud. Too heavy. They were smothering him. Panicking, he buried his face in the man's coat and shut them out just as his eyes welled up.

Right on cue. Axel squeezed Zexion a little tighter the moment he felt him crumble. He often forgot how easy it was to relate to the young apprentice. Zexion was still just a kid, losing people left and right just like he had. Falling in love, getting hurt, growing up — he needed a big brother now more than ever, and Axel embraced that role without a second thought. This was what he was made for, where he felt most comfortable. Maybe Zexion wasn't the type to be cheered up by a sparring match, and maybe Ventus wasn't the hugging sort, but if Axel could leave anyone in a better state than when he found them, he figured he was doing all right. If he wasn't going to have any of his own life in order, the least he could do was hold someone else together when they were ready to fall apart.

Never once did they question how this was possible without hearts. What they felt in that moment was as real as it would ever be, and that was satisfying enough of a conclusion for them. Before he got a little too invested and lost all control, Axel loosened his grasp and the two parted, looking significantly more relieved.

"There. You feel better?"

"Th-That…" Zexion stammered a bit before regaining his composure. "That was nice."

"Well, I really needed it, and it seems like you did too," Axel grinned. "So, thanks, pal."

Some time after they bid each other goodnight, Axel lay in bed, waiting to drift away, taking the time to reminisce in the hopes that his dreams might be pleasant. He had no desire and no energy to ruminate, instead clinging to those happy memories he held so dear. That playful battle from all those years ago. Ventus' competitive smile, Isa's quick wit, the flutter of anticipation in his chest as he gazed up at the castle spires. On that day, he told his friend he was immortal, and he believed every word. Axel knew better now, having grown older and wiser and a little more pessimistic, but deep inside, he would always carry around a little piece of that rambunctious youth who vowed to live forever in people's memories.

Thoughts of Roxas came to the forefront of his mind, and he fought away the impulse to become sad. It was too late for regrets. What was done was done, and the best thing he could do for his friend was hold onto hope, no matter how faint a glimmer it was. Roxas could still make it. There was always a chance. And, even if he were to be lost, Roxas, too, would live forever in his memories. Immortal. From then on, Axel would endeavor to create as many of those memories with him as possible with the time they had left. He'd forgotten Ventus, but he would not forget Roxas for as long as he breathed. With that resolution in place, Axel could finally let himself fall asleep, knowing that the first thing he was going to do in the morning was hug Roxas as tightly as he could, and never, ever let him go.

I think we all need a hug after reading a story like this one.

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Ostelan