Chapter Twenty- five, Memories, Part 3
"You're almost five months old, Joshua! Anything you wanna say?!" Alan Matthews asked his son.
Amy laughed as she held up her son so he could face the camera.
"He looks so confused, Alan...he's like what is this?" She observed.
"This is a camera, buddy. We gotta start documenting your life since you're getting so big," Alan stated as he moved the camera closer to his son's face.
"See? Camera! Wanna say hi? You can say hi to Cory and Eric and Topanga and Morgan and Mr. Feeny...oops, no, you can't touch this part! If you cover up the lens, then no one can see you, silly!"
Amy giggled. "Josh, wave your hand, like this!" She waved her hand at the camera. "Say hi Dada! Hiiiii!"
Baby Josh stared at his mother with a befuddled expression on his face before he squealed in excitement and started reaching out again for the camera.
"You wanna take the video, buddy? You wanna do it yourself?" Alan moved the camera closer to his son's face again. "Ok, here it is! You got anything to say?"
"Aaaaah!" Josh squealed as he started moving his mouth closer to the camera lens.
"What are you doing, buddy?"
"I think he's trying to lick the camera, Alan."
"Yuck. No, Josh. You can't eat everything!" Alan pulled the camera away. "If you're hungry, Mama can take care of that."
"Aaygghhh!" Josh babbled angrily as he reached out for the camera.
"Nope. Can't eat this son," Alan informed him.
"Oh dear, he pooped again, Alan!" Amy observed as she sniffed her son's behind.
"Oh dear Lord, this is the like the third time this morning!" Alan whined.
"I think something's wrong. We should call Dr. Stevens," Amy suggested.
Alan sighed as he moved the camera closer to his son's face again.
"You're pooping too much, Son. We're running out of diapers. What's going on, Joshua?" He asked.
"Aagaga!" Josh yelled excitedly as he brought his mouth close to the camera lens again.
"He doesn't give a crap about his diarrhea cos he's not the one changing the diapers," Alan mumbled.
Amy grinned.
"Of course, he doesn't. You just want to eat the camera, don't you Joshie? And then you're gonna poop out a big, juicy camera! I don't think we'll have a diaper big enough for that, Sweetheart! Come here now. Give Mommy a kiss. Kissing time, Sweetie!" She started kissing her son all over his face as he giggled and started pumping his legs excitedly.
"Well, look at that...adorable mother-son moment. I filmed this, folks! Alan Matthews home video productions. Give me a call. I'll give you a great discount!" Alan announced as he turned the camera towards himself for a moment before refocusing it on his wife and son.
"Alright, you've kissed him enough, Amy. My turn! And then we gotta change him. God, he stinks so bad! I can smell it now!"
Amy chuckled. "Your Dada just said you stink, Josh. I don't think he deserves a kiss from you. He's being mean. It's not your fault you have diarrhea. Right, Sweetheart?"
"Aagaga!" Josh responded.
Amy laughed. "That's right!"
Alan chuckled. "Say bye bye, Josh! Bye bye to everybody!"
He zoomed the camera in on Josh's face. Baby Josh gazed at the camera for a few quiet seconds before he smiled.
"That's my boy. Love that smile!" Alan beamed at his son.
"He really has your smile, Alan," Amy pointed out as she gazed adoringly at her last-born child.
"Of course, he does! He's going to be just as dashing and charming like his Daddy!" Alan exclaimed proudly.
Amy rolled her eyes. "Hopefully, a lot less cocky too."
"Hey! I'm not cocky, Woman. How dare you say that about me?! Do you know who you're talking to? Do you know who I am?!" Alan pounded his chest.
Amy simply shook her head at her husband's silliness. "Ok. Cut the video. Here. Go change your son. I'm gonna call Stevens and find out what he thinks about all this pooping."
"Ugh. Ok. Well, that's the end of that, folks!" Alan announced as he faced the camera. "This video would've been longer, but alas, doo-ty calls. Till next time! See ya!"
The video ended just as abruptly as it began.
Josh carefully removed the video cassette tape from the VHS player and placed it on top of the various home video cassettes that his father had recorded over the years to document his life and that of his family.
He was alone in the attic. They had just finished carving the pumpkins and decorating them, and he just needed some time alone after that to reflect...and to remember...
He observed the other cassettes that his father had recorded of him:
Joshua, crawling
Joshua, walking
Joshua, first day at camp
Joshua, baseball game
Joshua, first day in kindergarten...
There were so many. Almost his entire childhood was documented on video. What he wanted to see were more videos of his father. But there were so few. He was the type of person who usually preferred to be behind the camera and never the center of attraction.
Sighing softly, Josh checked the time on his phone: 9:15 pm, Sat, Sept 17.
He noticed a long text message from his girlfriend which was sent about a half hour ago.
Ferret: Hey! You've disappeared! Auggie's looking for you! We checked your room but you weren't there! And then we checked the treehouse! And then we checked Thelma! You're nowhere to be found! You went to another nightclub w/o me?! Lol. I'm pissed. Call or text when ure ready to be found...ok? Anyway, here's what's happened since you disappeared. Auggie's bonding with "Grandpa" Feeny now. Feeny's showing him how to plant flowers. He's having a blast :) Shawn and Cory are chilling in your treehouse. Mom, Topanga and your Mom are hanging with Feeny and Auggie. Riles and I are watching Netflix...and um, I think the world is about to end soon...your car is here so u've gotta be around somewhere lol. Unless u drove away on ur invisible motorcycle. When are you gonna buy one for real, so we can ride away and never be found?! Anyways, hope ure still alive :) Ily. See ya.
As he read through her message again with a warm smile, he remembered the sincere promise she had made to him on their way to the nightclub:
"I'm gonna be by your side this whole weekend Josh...you don't have to hide anything from me. I love you. Ok?"
So far, she had kept that promise. Was he willing to do the same for her? To be by her side? He thought about everything that she was currently going through...the end of her friendship with Zay...the divisions in her tight-knit group of friends...her father's mysterious illness and sudden reappearance and disappearance from her life...she was doing her best to remain strong through it all. But he could see how much it was all weighing her down...how could it not? It was all too much for a fifteen-year-old girl to handle...
He remembered- again- the angry comment she made when he had suggested in the hospital that they go back to playing the long game:
"Why are you still trying to break up Josh? What's the real reason? Huh? I'm too boring for you now? You wanna get together with some college chick who looks like Selena and go to Barcelona and have an adventure together?! Is that it?"
He remembered his mother's peaceful face as she slept in the hospital. He thought of the video...his mother planting kisses on his baby-round face and his excited, high-pitched giggles as he reacted to his mother's love at five months old...He didn't know what he would have done last night if he had been unable to be by his mother's side...he would have probably gone crazy with worry...but because he was by her side, he had been at peace the entire time she was in the hospital...
He had made his decision. He knew the consequences...but he was hoping that once he explained his reasoning, Shawn and Katy would understand.
He grabbed his phone and responded to his girlfriend's message.
Boyfriend Boing: Hey. I'm ready to be found now ;) Thanks for the update :) What are you guys watching on Netflix? I'll join you soon. Gotta take care of a few things. Will let you know when I'm ready to come.
Maya responded right away.
Ferret: Damn, boy...so mysterious...we can't figure out what to watch...so for now we're just watching Pretty Little Liars...again. Hehe.
Boyfriend Boing: Yeah. I will not be watching that lol. Will help you guys find something better to watch when I show up.
Ferret: kk. how long till you grace us with ur presence, your highness? We're breathlessly waiting.
Boyfriend Boing: lol. hmm...maybe in 30 mins or so...
Ferret: Danggg...you owe me an update Boing...whatever the heck ure up to...
Boyfriend Boing: i just need some time alone, that's all. Ill see u soon...
Ferret: Hmmm...time alone i see...alright...see u soon.
"We had a deal, Baby Matthews. You are aware of what that deal was, right?"
"Yeah."
"And you are aware that you're the one who suggested that deal, right?"
"Yeah."
"Ok. So, you are also aware that if you've decided not to go to Barcelona, then Katy and I are left with no other choice but to go ahead with our original plan of breaking you guys up, right?"
"Um...yeah...but, I just want to say something Shawn..."
"Ok...what is it?"
"Um...I decided not to go to Barcelona for several reasons...like I said before, I just don't think it's the right time...Maya...she's been going through a lot Shawn...you guys don't know most of it but I've been encouraging her to tell you...and I'm going to keep doing that until she opens up to you because right now, the only people she's talking to is me and Riley...I think…and there's only so much we can do for her...I'm actually really worried about her...but if you break us up Shawn, she will completely shut down. I can see it happening. There's no way I'll be able to convince her to open up to you guys. I'm not even sure if she will open up to me...I want to be there for her Shawn. That's one of the reasons why I'm not going now. It's still my dream to go to Spain...but I'm gonna wait on doing that now...I still have two more years of college left...I can go another time. Right now, I want to be there for Mom...and for Maya...so, please don't break us up. I just don't think it's the best idea right now. Once she finally opens up to you, you will understand what I mean..."
"Goodness gracious, you're scaring me, Josh. You can't tell me my daughter is going through a lot and not tell me anything else beyond that. That's not cool."
"I know. I'm sorry Shawn. I wish I could tell you but...I don't want to betray her trust. I betrayed her trust once and it took her a while to start trusting me again...if she finds out I told you anything without her permission, she's gonna shut down on me...and then I won't be able to look out for her. Then, I'll be in the dark, and you guys will also be in the dark...I don't want that to happen. But I promise you Shawn, that I'm going to keep bugging her to talk to you and Katy. I know she will. Soon. Because she needs you guys...it's too much for her to handle by herself..."
"It's nothing life-threatening I hope? Because, if it is, you have to tell me now, Baby Matthews."
"No. It's not like that at all...she...she's not thinking anything like that..."
"Ok...and no one is threatening her life? Or bullying her?"
"No. Nothing like that..."
"Ok..." Shawn's voice trailed off as he thought about everything Josh had just told him. "It's amazing...how quiet she's been lately...how much she hasn't been telling us...I've sensed that something's been wrong for a while...her Mom too...she hasn't been opening up to her either...I just thought that you know, it was just little teenage stuff that she was probably going through...but from what you're hinting at, it sounds like it's a bit more serious than that. Is that a fair assumption?"
"It is," Josh nodded. "And I promise Shawn that I'm gonna get her to talk to you guys. It may not be today or tomorrow, but I'm not gonna stop until she does...but I can only do that obviously...I can only have that kind of influence on her if she and I are still together..."
"I know," Shawn retorted. "She won't listen to her parents, but she will listen to her boyfriend. That's a no-brainer." He sighed.
"Alright, Baby Matthews- if you can get her to finally open up to us, we'll give you guys another chance. There will still be rules you will need to follow obviously. It's not just going to be a free ride just cos you got our daughter to talk to us. Am I making myself clear?"
"Yeah," Josh nodded.
"Katy and I will need to discuss what those new rules will be. We'll let you both know."
"Ok, sounds good. Thanks Shawn."
"No. Thank you, Josh," Shawn responded. "That completely silent car-ride with her yesterday was one of the worst experiences of my life- and I've been through a lot, Baby Matthews. Not being able to get through to her? Not knowing how I can protect her even though I know she's going through something? You have no idea how terrible it felt...So, if you can fix that, we will be immensely grateful."
Josh smiled. "I'll do my best. I'll talk to you later Shawn. I'm gonna go find her now."
"Alright. Sounds good. Talk to you later, Josh."
"Oh my gosh, Riles, I love this episode! When they finally found out who A was?!"
"Yeah, that was crazy. Remember we like didn't sleep all night after we watched that one?"
"Yeah," Maya grinned widely as she ate some more popcorn. "It was so insane."
Riley's phone started to ring.
"Oh. It's Lucas. Pause the video for a sec."
"Sure. I think it's gonna be more than a few seconds though now that Loverboy is calling," Maya teased her.
"Shhh," Riley muttered before answering the call in a cheery tone. "Hi! What's up?! I got you a pumpkin today! You saw our pictures?"
Maya smiled warmly at her friend, as she waited patiently for her conversation to conclude. She decided to distract herself by going through her messages. She felt a chill run down her spine when she saw a text message from Zay. It had been sent just a couple minutes ago. She immediately opened it up and read it.
Zay : Honey-Nugget...I'm sorry. For everything. I miss you. I will always love you, girl. Goodbye Maya.
Maya felt her heart drop as she reread the message before glancing over at Riley.
"Riles..." She murmured before she noticed the panicked look on her best friend's face. "Riles- what's wrong?!"
Riley's face was completely pale as she ended her call with Lucas. Maya noticed that her hand was shaking.
"Oh my God, Riley Matthews, what's going on? Talk to me! What did Lucas say?!" Maya was panicking.
Riley's eyes filled with tears as she started to speak in a shaky voice. "Um...Zay's Grandma died, apparently, yesterday...Lucas said Zay was devastated when he spoke to him...you know, he was really close to his Grandma..."
"Yeah," Maya nodded as she felt her heart pounding.
"Anyway, um...so that was yesterday...um..." Riley wiped away her tears as she struggled to tell her best friend the rest of the terrible news she had just heard. "Lucas said Zay...he just kept saying how he didn't have anyone anymore...cos his parents are divorced and his Grandma is gone...and, he was just really depressed and crying a lot...and Lucas was trying to do his best to cheer him up...to be there for him...cos his Mom had to go to work...like her job wouldn't give her the time off so she had to go otherwise she would get fired...so Lucas stayed with Zay last night- he took Zay to his house and today they were together the whole day, and he said Zay, he was...he was starting to feel a little better...not as depressed anymore..."
Maya felt tears gathering in her eyes.
"But then Lucas said he just disappeared. Like he told Lucas he was stepping out for some fresh air but that was like three hours ago...he's not answering his phone, and his Mom said he's not home and he's not answering his Mom's calls either...and...Lucas, he's...he's freaking out, Maya...he's just really worried about him..."
"Oh my God..." Maya murmured as she felt her entire world collapsing. "Oh my God..."
"Maya, what is it?! What's wrong?!" Riley screeched.
"He just texted me a few minutes ago!" Maya handed Riley her phone so she could see Zay's ominous message.
"Oh my God..." Riley murmured as more tears rolled down her cheeks. "Oh my God...Maya what are we going to do?!"
Maya grabbed her phone from her best friend and immediately dialed Zay Babineaux's phone number. The call went straight to voicemail. She had an immediate memory flashback as she listened to his voicemail message...
"Zay, your voicemail sucks. You need to change it."
"Oh really? And what you propose I change it to, HoneyNugget?"
"Something more manly and forceful. How about this? 'You've reached Babineaux. Not available. So stop calling me. You may leave a message or not. That's your problem. Aint mine. Aight. Peace out.'"
Zay burst out laughing. "I like that."
"Yeah. Trust me. People are gonna LOVE it."
"Aight. I'll change it. Just for you, HoneyNugget."
Maya grinned.
The next time she called him, he had changed it.
A.N.: If you're feeling depressed, or going through a hard time, please seek help. Don't struggle alone! There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Wishing you much love and happiness this new year. God bless you all :) Thanks for reading! As always, appreciate your thoughts and comments.