Chapter Thirty One
I turn to Kuon as I finally get to wake up next to him. I don't want to do anything to surprise him or make him push me away again. That was the third night that he's been home and the first night in which we've slept in the same bed and I've been able to reach out and touch him whilst he sleeps. I gently push my hand over where his hair is already starting to grow back. I didn't think that hair grew back over scars.
The doctors have told me that there is a chance that his hair won't come back as it did before. It might not be the luscious soft strands that I've always loved, it might be shorter and scratchier and they may not be that rich gold that only he has but something of a light brown or even medium brown. He could physically look like an emerald-eyed Ren but the tiny spikes of hair seem not too dark and looks don't matter.
Kuon blinks up at me and I pull back. I don't want him to be annoyed at my touching him without his permission. I put my hand to the side and get up from the bed. "Good morning," I tell him delicately before avoiding eye contact with him. It would break my heart if he suddenly turned to me with a glare.
He looks at me sadly, guilt in his eyes and I want to tell him that there is nothing wrong and tell him that I love him but I'm not sure how he'd even react to that. Would he consider it as me being clingy? I pick up the shirt that he was wearing the night before and fold it to put it in the laundry, I place it to my heart before sighing. I never wanted to turn into one of those stupid girls but Kuon is worth it.
"K'oko?" he asks in that slightly slurred manner he's been speaking with. The doctors say that he'll get his voice back as he recovers and really, I'm just happy hearing him making the attempt to talk. I turn with a smile and nod. "I—I—III" he struggles and I watch him feeling a lot of pain in the way that he's having difficulty. I get down beside him as he sits up in the bed and take hold of one of his hands with both of mine.
I kiss his shoulder a few times, letting my head rest on his shoulder. I don't want to rush him but he has difficulty now with even the simplest words. He hasn't pushed me away though, that's good.
"Sor—" he says before I see him mentally kick himself for not completing the word and struggling with the sentence. Still, the doctors had believed that he wouldn't be talking at all.
"I know," I whisper as I let my hand cup his cheek and kiss his lips. "I know, Corn," I repeat. I know him better than anybody, sometimes I know him better than he knows himself. "I don't blame you for any of this." I hate how self-critical he's being. He just needs to know that most of this is temporary and in a year or so he'll be better than he is today and a year following that he'll be better than he will be in a year. It's all about improvement and it's better than him being dead at Rose's school.
Kuon sighs before looking across at the wheelchair. He attempts to shift himself over and I'm not sure whether to help him or just sit and watch. No. Sitting and watching is going to feel weird to me. I walk over to him and hold the chair. He reaches up and takes my offered hand getting to the chair and smiles his gratitude to me without saying anything.
"I'll make some breakfast for us," I tell him lovingly. Hopefully we'll be able to talk a little soon and I know that he might need some help in the bathroom today. I don't want him to find difficulty with it again. Kuon rolls himself out after grabbing a blanket to put over his lap so the girls don't find out his secret and I see that Rose is already playing with the TV.
"Honey," I say as I come over to her and see that she's completely absorbed by the show that she's watching, "Let's wait for after breakfast to watch th-"
Kuon looks up at me and then at the TV where the characters from Sesame Street are talking about the letters Q and U. I'm a little confused but I also see that spark in his eyes as he wheels himself to the TV. I don't know what to say about it but Rose smiles as he comes to join her.
"If you add Q and U together you can make a lot of words," the guest singer says to Big Bird and I freeze as I see them list off some of the words but what surprises me more is that Kuon is trying to secretly mouth along with the words. I blink. He's actually engaging in this? I know he doesn't have the mind of a child but I haven't seen this type of positive engagement in an activity for some time.
"Actually why don't we watch together, just for today," I tell them with a smile. I can't believe that he's having such a positive reaction to this. It's adorable. Plus, he's spending time with Rose so as long as he lets me know if his head hurts it will be okay. We both need this.
…
…
As I come back from the fashion show I expect for Kuon and Rose to be asleep. It's quite late and I feel bad that my work kept me away for so long. As I come into the house though I am surprised at what I'm seeing. Rose is sitting in her high chair in the kitchen and Kuon's hiding behind the table with a Bo puppet that we got from the show before I retired.
"Now, I think it's time for us to get some sleep," Kuon says putting on the voice that I gave to Bo, Ren Tsuruga's greatest confidant, "However, don't you think there's time for just one more dance," he says and I realize that he's been doing all of this to get Rose back to sleep. He's such a good dad and this just shows another one of his sacrifices.
"This is our special dance," I roll my eyes as he starts to jiggle the puppet and move his fingers so Bo is moving his wings and I just watch how adorable this is. "It's the special tentekomai dance," he tells her and I can't help but burst out laughing. I turn to quiet my laugh so as not to wake up Rose even more.
Did he seriously create a tentekomai dance?
….
….
It's the fourth day in a row that he's watched Sesame Street with the girls. I know that he loves spending time with them but I think he enjoys it too. When I mentioned him watching with the girls to one of the doctors they said it was a great idea. Many foreigners learned English watching this show and so if Kuon takes comfort in it and it helps him rebuild his speech development then it's best to just let him watch it. It's not as if it's harming anyone.
Today we have a guest. Since Thanksgiving we haven't really seen much of anyone because of the way that Kuon felt embarrassed about how he had acted when he had been stressed. Today Father is going to come round because he wants to talk to me about the case. I want to involve Kuon in what happens but I'm not sure that he's ready. That made me sound like a witch didn't it?
There's a knock on the door and I go to get it, the security guards would have alerted me if it was someone else. As I open the door, I find it hard not to throw my arms around the man opposite me. "Father," I smile before stepping back. "Kuon and the girls are in the living room," I tell him before I grab his upper arm. "And…don't…"
"Don't what?" Kuu asks as he looks at me concerned. "I'm just happy to see my family, my daughter, my son, and my granddaughters."
"Kuon feels a little embarrassed by how much he loves watching Sesame Street," I warn Kuu and he blinks confused. I shake my head. "He's watching for the girls but I think he knows how helpful it is to him but don't tease him about it, he's still insecure."
Father turns to me, he still looks a little confused and I'm expecting a dozen questions about it that I won't have any way of answering. He instead smiles, "I won't tease him about it. If it's helping my son then I'm really happy that there's something that is doing that. Kuon is my son, Kyoko. I only want what will help him."
I sigh before looking down and close my eyes, I don't want to trouble Father but it's as if I don't have a way of stopping myself from speaking. "I was worried that he hated me. For a while he seemed convinced I didn't love him. We both know that Kuon is looking at this from the wrong angle but he's starting to heal and I don't care if that's because of medicine or watching Elmo sing a song. He's healing and not going backwards and that's most important to me."
"Anything that helps Kuon is important to me too," Father says and I nod before gesturing for him to go and see our family.
…
…
"Cookie." "Cabbage" "Car" "Cat" I mouth along with the words as they say it slowly and put a picture up with it. I somehow can't voice these words out loud but my mouth is getting to be familiar with the movements again. The therapist said that's a step in the right direction. I hold Ana in my arms as she sleeps on my lap. I smile. I've taken to choosing to swear sweats and a hoody because it's more comfortable, besides who is going to even be looking at me inside the house?
"Granddad!" Rose yells out and I pause, turning nervously and Dad smiles to me before hugging Rose and spinning her a little in his arms, very similar to how I could when I was healthy. "We were watching with Daddy!"
"I see, it's a good show, isn't it?" Dad asks and Rose nods energetically.
"I want to show you a picture!" Rose grins before running off to grab something and I nod, she's already shown me despite my not being as active or as engaged with the girls as I used to be before the accident and attempted murder.
Dad grabs a chair and pulls it towards me before putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. "How about you? Are you doing okay?" I nod weakly. I'm not perfect by any means but I'm recovering, I feel loved and connected with my family. I have to be happy with what I have and I luckily have a lot. "I've been hearing that you've been making a lot of progress but if you ever need anything from your mother or me, let us know. I'd love to just take a father-son day and relax."
I know he's trying and maybe one of those days would be good for both of us but I'm not that exciting any longer. I don't know if we could do something that wouldn't bore him after half an hour of doing it. Dad looks at me and smiles before nodding.
"Trust me, we could just stay here and watch a movie. Just some time with my son would always make me happy," he tells me and I smile feeling very lucky to have a family that cares so much about me. I see Rose running back with her picture and see Dad turn to her excitedly as Ana wakes up and hugs me as she does so.
"Re''ary?" I ask Dad and frown, I still can't say my words correctly. Dad squeezes my wrist and grins, he turns to me after complimenting Rose's artwork.
"Absolutely."
End of Chapter Thirty One
Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated
Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Thirty
Kaname671, kyoko minion
