Over the next several days Lucien seemed more relaxed, at peace with himself.
Perhaps it was having finally stood up to his father's bullying, and making it clear he would no longer accept such behavior from the man.
Perhaps it was his father's apology, although Jean wasn't yet convinced how sincere Thomas's apology was, or how much of it was merely said to pacify Geneviève. She was relieved to see that Lucien also had a healthy dose of skepticism about it. As he told Jean, he would give his father just enough rope to either hang himself or save himself, his choice.
And just perhaps, Jean admitted to herself, Lucien's new mood was a result of their spending their nights together. Since the gala, she had shared Lucien's bed each night and had even moved some of her things into his place. She kept her own home, and each morning after they'd lingered over breakfast together she would return to that home until they were ready to head to the club together. They might call each other or text several times throughout the day, or even drop over for a visit. One of those visits had resulted in a bit of "afternoon delight" as they made love in Jean's bed for the first time.
All in all, Jean reveled in all the joy of a new romance. Deep down she felt certain this would be her last chance to find true love and happiness.
Then, the day before his next session was scheduled with Alice, all of Lucien's carefree attitude melted away. He still smiled at her, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. His lovemaking, while still passionate and generous, held an almost desperate edge to it.
On the morning of the session she awoke to find herself alone in his bed for the first time since she'd spoken to him about it. She pulled on her robe and went looking for Lucien, although she had a good idea of where he would be. Sure enough, he was in the music room with earpods on.
When he saw her he took one out and offered it to her. "Keb' Mo's latest," he explained. "Have you heard it?"
She took the pod in her hand but didn't put it in her ear. Instead she said, "Talk to me, Lucien, please. Is it the session?"
He tapped the pod still in his ear to turn off the music and then removed it. He stared down at it for a long moment before speaking. "This week I have to relive it all," he explained. "I need to tell Alice exactly what happened, as though it's just occurring in the present."
"Oh, Lucien," was all she could manage. What could she possibly say to make it easier? She had a feeling he'd been imagining the session and what it would be like for the last day or so.
She took the pod from him, put both of them in their case, and then sat on his lap so she could put her arms around him. He held her tightly, his eyes closed.
After several minutes of holding each other in silence she told him softly, "If there's anything, anything at all, I can do to make it better, you know you only need to tell me."
"This helps," he assured her. "And knowing that when it's over, you'll be there, that's all I need."
"I'm not going anywhere," she insisted. "Well, to work, unless you want me to stay here. I'm sure Matthew won't mind."
He shook his head. "No, you should go. Cec will stream it to me. Just do me one favor?"
"Of course. Anything."
"Sing me one of your favorite songs. I don't care if it doesn't fit with the rest of the set, or it's the wrong style or even if it's wildly inappropriate. I just want to know it's your favorite."
"All right," she agreed, with a smile. She kissed his cheek. "Just for you."
"I'll look forward to it," he told her, and then he kissed her for real.
She waited with him until Alice arrived, trying to reassure him with her presence since there was little else she could do for him at this moment. When the doorbell sounded, Jean kissed Lucien and said, "You stay here. I'll let her in on my way out." She kissed him again for good measure, then walked upstairs.
As she passed Alice on the way out, she squeezed the doctor's hand.
"Please, if I can do anything for him, you'll let me know?"
"Yes, of course, Jean," said Alice.
Jean leaned closer to her. "And maybe you might remind him from time to time that I'll be waiting for him."
"I'm sure that will be a comfort to him," Alice told her.
For the rest of the day Jean felt at loose ends, unable to concentrate on much of anything. She couldn't begin to imagine the horrors Lucien was reliving, and her heart ached for him.
She tried to distract herself by thinking about what song she should sing for him. She certainly didn't have a single favorite - there were just too many that she loved. She decided she would pick something to show him how she felt about him, what he meant to her. It took a while, but finally she knew the perfect one.
When she got to the club, she went immediately to Terry Reynolds.
"I know it," Terry assured her. "It's a classic, of course."
Jean smiled. "I'd like to perform it with just your piano backing it, if you don't mind."
"I don't mind at all. I'm sure it will be great."
"Thank you, Terry," she told him. "I knew I could count on you."
"My pleasure."
With that settled she went upstairs to greet Matthew. She found him in his office trying to pacify his crying baby daughter while holding a phone conversation with a liquor distributor. Jean walked up to him and held out her arms, offering to take Lucy so he could talk. He handed the baby over gratefully, and Jean took her outside the office, closing the door.
"Now, what's all this, madame?" she said softly to the distressed infant. "Missing your mother, are you? She'll be back before you know it. Now, let's see if you need changing or maybe you're just hungry."
She wondered if Matthew had the diaper bag in his office or if it was downstairs somewhere.
"It looks like you do need changing," she said to Lucy. "It's no wonder you're upset, you poor dear."
Lucy's cries lessened to whimpers as she stared up at Jean.
A moment later Matthew opened his office door. "Thank you," he said. "She's been upset for most of the day. I think she picked up on Alice's anxiety this morning, before she left to see the major."
"That's entirely possible, but right now it's more about her wet bottom, I'd guess," Jean told him.
"Ah, that makes sense," said Matthew. "We should take care of that right now." He held out his arms to take his daughter, but she snuggled more deeply in Jean's arms, hiding her tiny face against Jean's shoulder.
"It looks like you're not in her good graces at the moment," Jean chuckled. "If you have her things, I can change her. Once she's dry and comfortable I'm sure she'll forgive you."
Matthew wasn't going to argue about someone else taking over diaper duty. He showed Jean the diaper bag and temporary changing station he'd set up.
As Jean had predicted, once Lucy was clean and dry she went willingly into her father's arms.
"You have the magic touch," he observed.
"It's probably just experience. It hasn't been all that long since Amelia was in diapers."
"Whatever it was, thank you," Matthew said sincerely. "Now if she'll just sleep through the show tonight..."
Jean began her set with the usual songs, but she made it a point to look directly into Cec's phone camera as often as she could. And she put more feeling into each song, as though she were singing them directly to Lucien, which of course she was. She was pleased to see the club patrons responding positively as well.
Near the end of the set, she nodded to Terry. He acknowledged he was ready so she spoke into the microphone.
"Thank you. You're a brilliant audience," she began. "This next song is very special to me. The very first time I heard Etta James sing it, I fell in love with the blues. I knew this was the kind of music that spoke to me, and I'm very happy that I get to share it with all of you. I'm singing it for someone very special tonight, someone who's had a difficult day. I hope this makes it just a bit better." She spoke directly to Cec's camera. "This one's for you."
And she began to sing:
"At last my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song.
At last the skies above are blue.
My heart was wrapped in clover
The night I looked at you."
She poured all of herself into it, ending with the final line which she turned into a crescendo:
"And here we are in heaven, for you are mine, at last."
The applause was lovely and she accepted it graciously, but there was really only one reaction that mattered to her. She prayed that he'd enjoyed it.
It didn't take long for her to find out that he had. When she got back to her dressing room, her phone was lit up, indicating she'd received a text. It was from Lucien, saying Call me plz followed by a kissing emoji.
She didn't even wait to change her clothes, so eager was she to hear from him.
His voice was husky as he greeted her. "Hello, my dear."
"Lucien, how are you?"
"Much better for having you sing to me," he said. "Thank you, Jean."
"I'm glad, and I meant every word of that song."
"And that makes me the happiest of all," he told her. "I can barely wait to see you."
"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to.. to spend the night with you tonight," she said a bit hesitantly.
"My dear, I want to spend every night with you. I don't think I'll be able to do much tonight, I'm afraid, but your presence would mean a great deal to me."
"Then there's nowhere else I'd rather be," she assured him. "I'll be there just as soon as I can."
"Thank you. Please drive safely, my love. I'll be waiting."
After ending the call, she quickly changed her clothes, removed the stage makeup and applied her much more subtle normal routine. Then she went to find Matthew, to let him know she was leaving.
Cec indicated he was in his office, so she walked upstairs. As she approached, she heard Alice talking to Matthew. Not wanting to walk in on an intimate moment, she rapped on the door frame, then hesitated a moment before sticking her head into the doorway.
Alice was turned sideways, holding Lucy and swaying her gently, while Matthew watched, a look of concern writ large upon his countenance. When Alice turned toward Jean, she could see why he was concerned: tears streamed down Alice's cheeks.
Jean's first thought was that something was wrong with Lucy, but the look of anguish Alice cast toward her made Jean realize it was Lucien that had caused her such pain. "Alice?"
Alice brushed away her tears with the back of her hand, much as a child would do. "Hello, Jean," she managed.
"It was that bad?" Jean asked softly.
Alice nodded. "I've treated rape survivors and domestic abuse victims and any number of soldiers with PTSD, but nothing prepared me for that. And of course it was even worse for Lucien to relive it all. By the time he reached the end, when he got away from them, he could barely speak his voice was so hoarse from screaming." Her tears started again, and they were matched by the ones running down Jean's cheeks.
"And we have to do it again next week, and maybe the week after that," said Alice, sounding forlorn.
Matthew put his arms around her.
"I just spoke with him," said Jean. "I'm on the way now to see him. Is there anything special I need to know or do?"
"No, not really. Just let him know he's not alone. And you or he can call me any time you need to," said Alice.
"Thank you, Alice. Thank you for helping him through this. I know how difficult it must be for you," said Jean.
"Not nearly as difficult as it is for Lucien. We just have to remember that if we can get through this he will be able to take control of his life."
"If he forgets that I'll certainly remind him. Good night, Alice, Matthew."
Jean found herself crying again as she drove home in the dark, anxious to hold Lucien in her arms.