p class="MsoNormal"I hover awkwardly outside of the director's office, trying to organise my thoughts. I'd broken our deal – but it wasn't really my fault. But will he understand that? It's a risk even telling him, but I'm trying to be honest. Besides, he'll inevitably find out somehow. He might even already know. Better that it comes from me./p
p class="MsoNormal"I knock on the door and am immediately invited in. I sit down in front of him, watching as he finishes signing the forms in front of /"Harleen," He looks up at me, pen down and concern in his eyes, "Is something wrong?"br /"No, nothing," I blurt out before I reconsider, "Well, maybe something. It depends really."br /"Why don't you tell me what happened?"br /"How do you know something happened?" br /"Because you're panicking, and defensive." Despite my lack of focus, the way I fidget and fuss in my seat, he speaks slowly and calmly. It relaxes me, and I concentrate on why I'm /"We agreed that I would have no contact with Jerome, right?"br /"Right. Your mother insisted."br /"Well, a series of… incidents occurred, and -"br /"And our agreement was broken?" There's a dash of amusement in his voice, but it's overpowered by his /"Yeah," I sigh, slouching in the /"Are you alright?" br /"I am. In fact," Now that I was thinking about it, "I feel good. It was good to see him."br /"How so?" Director Williams frowned, the creases in his forehead etched deep from years of thinking and /"It felt… cathartic. As though he no longer has power over me. Do you get what I mean?" I don't want to push my luck, else I run the risk of getting locked up myself, but when Director Williams sits back, I relax. I'm not in any danger – I /"I understand, Harleen."br /"Also, I kinda told him he would be getting weekly treatment for his scarring, and more treatment for his burns. I know I shouldn't have, but I think he should receive it. Otherwise, it may get infected, and that will put more strain on the asylum."br /"You may be right, but it's simply not possible. The nurses are all too afraid to go near him."br /"With good reason," I comment, and he /"You know that better than anyone. So, really, there are no options. Unless," I see a thought appear, see him turn it over again and again in his mind before he offers it to me, "Unless you were to treat him." br /"But… I'm not allowed."br /"By my instruction. No one would need to know other than some guards, and another nurse or two." I consider the idea. The logical part of me knows I should decline, leave Jerome to suffer. It's what he deserves. And it's not safe for me to be near him. But that emotional part of my brain, the part that longs to be near him, to feel the life that I can only experience when I am with him, overrules all other /"I'll do it." He grins, as though a personal battle had been won for him as /"Thank you, Harleen. Of course, you can stop at any time, but this will be a great help to us."/p
p class="MsoNormal"*/p
p class="MsoNormal"And so I began seeing Jerome every week. At first, I tried to keep our conversation to a minimum, simply dealing with his treatment and leaving. It was strange, surreal almost./p
p class="MsoNormal"But life carries on outside of Arkham, beyond Jerome. I went to my parent's house one day to find the hallway filled with suitcases and my father carrying another /"What's happening?" As far as I had been told we were having a family dinner, nothing out of the ordinary. But this was anything but ordinary. Wren appears from the top of the stairs and hurries down them, wrapping me in a hug. Our father looks at us, his face wracked with guilt. "Dad?"br /"Wren is going to boarding school," He tells me, immediately going into the /"What?!"br /"They wouldn't let me tell you. I'm sorry, Harls." I shake my head at /"It's not your fault." Following my father into the kitchen I find him and my mom standing /"How can you do this?" I /"It's what's best. She'll have an excellent education, and she'll be safe."br /"You can't just send her across the country!" br /"We're not sending her across the country. She's going to England." I take a step back horrified. br /"How dare you. How emdare/em you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"*/p
p class="MsoNormal"I know I should ignore the anger inside me. I know I should push all thought of Wren going to boarding school to the back of my mind and focus on my work. But I can't just forget about it. The whole day I'm snippy, rude to staff and prisoners alike. The worst part is how aware I am of the anger radiating from me. I'm most aware of it as I half-storm down the ward towards Jerome lying on his usual bed. He's watching me. Watching my every movement. Like he always is. Before he can speak, I tighten the straps holding him down so they are pressing against him almost painfully. I refuse to put up with any bullshit from him today. But clearly, I'm just inviting him to /"What's up with you?" He inquires, grinning at me as I pull out everything I need. br /"None of your business." I lay the creams and dressings out and begin the process, hoping that he'll shut up. He doesn' /"Come on, what's wrong? If I have to suffer, I should at least know what for." He gives me an innocent look and I roll my /"My parents have decided to send my sister to boarding school." That's all I say. It's more than he deserves to know. But he keeps pushing. br /"Ah, family what can you do?" He pretends to think about it for a brief moment, then gasps as though he's had a realisation. "I've got a few suggestions."br /"I'm not murdering my parents, Jerome," I sigh. With my admission, the anger has disappeared, replaced with resignation and /"Okay, I'm outta suggestions."br /"Thanks anyway," I roll my eyes. br /"Anytime, doll." That almost makes me laugh. "Why you so angry about it anyway? I loved getting rid of my family."br /"You hated your family." I suppose there's no harm in talking to him. "Wren is my best friend. And I've been a shit sister recently."br /"I doubt that," Jerome scoffs. br /"No, I have. Not really my fault though. I blame you." I glance towards the door, checking to see that the guard isn't paying us any attention to our /"Now that, that makes sense."br /"Right?" I say sarcastically. "And now, because of me, she's getting sent to the other side of the world." I shake my head, trying to move on. "How are your burns healing?"br /"Eh, they're fine," I raise an eyebrow at him. He sniggers as I begin to open his shirt. He's right they've healed well. They'll be fine after this. I layer on the burn cream methodically. It's routine now. Once again, I'm distracted by the hundreds of scars across his pale skin. "How did you get all these?" I wonder, more to myself than to /"That's a lot of stories, doll. Sure you've got the time?" There's a sinister edge to his voice but I ignore /"Tell me one then."br /"Look at my arm," I tilt my head at him, confused, but do as he says when he nods in encouragement. I have to unstrap his arm to do so and give him a look of warning. There's a scar fairly new, dashing across it. Looks like a bullet wound. "From the day I took you to Penguin."br /"The day I escaped," I murmur, tracing the mark in his flesh unconsciously. br /"Not a good day for me, huh." He chuckles. br /"Seems we're matching."br /"I suppose we are. Let's see it then."br /"Absolutely not." I frown, trying to be appalled at the idea of showing Jerome the scar on my /"Come on. I showed you mine."br /I huff, deciding to humour him. I reach behind me and pull down the zip on my dress slightly. I unstrap his other arm and his chest, letting him sit up. Turning, I perch on the edge of the bed. My heart is racing, and I try to reason that it's from fear, but I know deep down it's from anticipation, from the mere idea of Jerome seeing me exposed, vulnerable. He shifts my dress out of the way, just slightly, to expose the back of my shoulder and the wound there. His fingers brush over the scar and I gasp lightly, making him laugh. br /"Is this your favorite? Or do you prefer the one I gave you?" I stand up and away from him, my anger rejuvenated and seething through my veins. br /"Don't."br /"I -"br /"Just don't." I zip up my dress, furious at him. And at myself; for letting him get to me, for giving in to the things I want but can't and shouldn't have. He raises his hands and I sit on the opposite bed, desperate to put distance between us. "Don't break it."br /"Break what?" br /"This. Whatever this is." I rush the words out, don't give him the opportunity to interrupt me. "I hate you, I will always hate you, but… you're the only person I can talk to. Properly."br /"I'm flattered -"br /"Shut up." I stand, strapping him back to the bed. Can't have the guard getting suspicious. "I'll see you next week." I hurry away to the door, glancing back with the slightest of smiles when I hear him call:br /"Looking forward to it."/p
p class="MsoNormal"*/p
p class="MsoNormal""Someone's cheered up."/p
p class="MsoNormal"I'm getting my things, ready to leave, when Molly comes /"Have I?" emDefinitely. /emBut I act as though nothing was ever wrong. I'm not sure /"What could it be?" She hums as she leans against the locker beside mine. "I can't imagine anything in here could have gotten rid of that mood." br /"Not sure." I close the door and lean against it to face her. "Maybe it's magic."br /"Maybe," She narrows her eyes in joking suspicion. "I'll figure it out."br /"Of course you will." She follows me out of the staff room and down the corridor, our heels clicking in time. br /"So, I heard a rumour it's your birthday next week." I stop, shocked that she knows. No one knows my /"How?"br /"How did I find out? Your ID."br /"Stalker," I roll my eyes, /"Sorry, invasion of privacy. But it's your eighteenth. It's important."br /"Really isn't." I continue walking but she keeps following. br /"You should celebrate." br /"Maybe." I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was thirteen. It doesn't mean anything. Just another year where I haven't died. Then again, it's pretty impressive that I've survived the past year. "You know what, maybe this is a year to celebrate."br /"Told ya'." She stops as I cross the checkpoint and I turn to wave goodbye. "I might even organise something for you."br /"Don't you dare."br /"Try and stop me."/p
p class="MsoNormal"I knock on the door and am immediately invited in. I sit down in front of him, watching as he finishes signing the forms in front of /"Harleen," He looks up at me, pen down and concern in his eyes, "Is something wrong?"br /"No, nothing," I blurt out before I reconsider, "Well, maybe something. It depends really."br /"Why don't you tell me what happened?"br /"How do you know something happened?" br /"Because you're panicking, and defensive." Despite my lack of focus, the way I fidget and fuss in my seat, he speaks slowly and calmly. It relaxes me, and I concentrate on why I'm /"We agreed that I would have no contact with Jerome, right?"br /"Right. Your mother insisted."br /"Well, a series of… incidents occurred, and -"br /"And our agreement was broken?" There's a dash of amusement in his voice, but it's overpowered by his /"Yeah," I sigh, slouching in the /"Are you alright?" br /"I am. In fact," Now that I was thinking about it, "I feel good. It was good to see him."br /"How so?" Director Williams frowned, the creases in his forehead etched deep from years of thinking and /"It felt… cathartic. As though he no longer has power over me. Do you get what I mean?" I don't want to push my luck, else I run the risk of getting locked up myself, but when Director Williams sits back, I relax. I'm not in any danger – I /"I understand, Harleen."br /"Also, I kinda told him he would be getting weekly treatment for his scarring, and more treatment for his burns. I know I shouldn't have, but I think he should receive it. Otherwise, it may get infected, and that will put more strain on the asylum."br /"You may be right, but it's simply not possible. The nurses are all too afraid to go near him."br /"With good reason," I comment, and he /"You know that better than anyone. So, really, there are no options. Unless," I see a thought appear, see him turn it over again and again in his mind before he offers it to me, "Unless you were to treat him." br /"But… I'm not allowed."br /"By my instruction. No one would need to know other than some guards, and another nurse or two." I consider the idea. The logical part of me knows I should decline, leave Jerome to suffer. It's what he deserves. And it's not safe for me to be near him. But that emotional part of my brain, the part that longs to be near him, to feel the life that I can only experience when I am with him, overrules all other /"I'll do it." He grins, as though a personal battle had been won for him as /"Thank you, Harleen. Of course, you can stop at any time, but this will be a great help to us."/p
p class="MsoNormal"*/p
p class="MsoNormal"And so I began seeing Jerome every week. At first, I tried to keep our conversation to a minimum, simply dealing with his treatment and leaving. It was strange, surreal almost./p
p class="MsoNormal"But life carries on outside of Arkham, beyond Jerome. I went to my parent's house one day to find the hallway filled with suitcases and my father carrying another /"What's happening?" As far as I had been told we were having a family dinner, nothing out of the ordinary. But this was anything but ordinary. Wren appears from the top of the stairs and hurries down them, wrapping me in a hug. Our father looks at us, his face wracked with guilt. "Dad?"br /"Wren is going to boarding school," He tells me, immediately going into the /"What?!"br /"They wouldn't let me tell you. I'm sorry, Harls." I shake my head at /"It's not your fault." Following my father into the kitchen I find him and my mom standing /"How can you do this?" I /"It's what's best. She'll have an excellent education, and she'll be safe."br /"You can't just send her across the country!" br /"We're not sending her across the country. She's going to England." I take a step back horrified. br /"How dare you. How emdare/em you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"*/p
p class="MsoNormal"I know I should ignore the anger inside me. I know I should push all thought of Wren going to boarding school to the back of my mind and focus on my work. But I can't just forget about it. The whole day I'm snippy, rude to staff and prisoners alike. The worst part is how aware I am of the anger radiating from me. I'm most aware of it as I half-storm down the ward towards Jerome lying on his usual bed. He's watching me. Watching my every movement. Like he always is. Before he can speak, I tighten the straps holding him down so they are pressing against him almost painfully. I refuse to put up with any bullshit from him today. But clearly, I'm just inviting him to /"What's up with you?" He inquires, grinning at me as I pull out everything I need. br /"None of your business." I lay the creams and dressings out and begin the process, hoping that he'll shut up. He doesn' /"Come on, what's wrong? If I have to suffer, I should at least know what for." He gives me an innocent look and I roll my /"My parents have decided to send my sister to boarding school." That's all I say. It's more than he deserves to know. But he keeps pushing. br /"Ah, family what can you do?" He pretends to think about it for a brief moment, then gasps as though he's had a realisation. "I've got a few suggestions."br /"I'm not murdering my parents, Jerome," I sigh. With my admission, the anger has disappeared, replaced with resignation and /"Okay, I'm outta suggestions."br /"Thanks anyway," I roll my eyes. br /"Anytime, doll." That almost makes me laugh. "Why you so angry about it anyway? I loved getting rid of my family."br /"You hated your family." I suppose there's no harm in talking to him. "Wren is my best friend. And I've been a shit sister recently."br /"I doubt that," Jerome scoffs. br /"No, I have. Not really my fault though. I blame you." I glance towards the door, checking to see that the guard isn't paying us any attention to our /"Now that, that makes sense."br /"Right?" I say sarcastically. "And now, because of me, she's getting sent to the other side of the world." I shake my head, trying to move on. "How are your burns healing?"br /"Eh, they're fine," I raise an eyebrow at him. He sniggers as I begin to open his shirt. He's right they've healed well. They'll be fine after this. I layer on the burn cream methodically. It's routine now. Once again, I'm distracted by the hundreds of scars across his pale skin. "How did you get all these?" I wonder, more to myself than to /"That's a lot of stories, doll. Sure you've got the time?" There's a sinister edge to his voice but I ignore /"Tell me one then."br /"Look at my arm," I tilt my head at him, confused, but do as he says when he nods in encouragement. I have to unstrap his arm to do so and give him a look of warning. There's a scar fairly new, dashing across it. Looks like a bullet wound. "From the day I took you to Penguin."br /"The day I escaped," I murmur, tracing the mark in his flesh unconsciously. br /"Not a good day for me, huh." He chuckles. br /"Seems we're matching."br /"I suppose we are. Let's see it then."br /"Absolutely not." I frown, trying to be appalled at the idea of showing Jerome the scar on my /"Come on. I showed you mine."br /I huff, deciding to humour him. I reach behind me and pull down the zip on my dress slightly. I unstrap his other arm and his chest, letting him sit up. Turning, I perch on the edge of the bed. My heart is racing, and I try to reason that it's from fear, but I know deep down it's from anticipation, from the mere idea of Jerome seeing me exposed, vulnerable. He shifts my dress out of the way, just slightly, to expose the back of my shoulder and the wound there. His fingers brush over the scar and I gasp lightly, making him laugh. br /"Is this your favorite? Or do you prefer the one I gave you?" I stand up and away from him, my anger rejuvenated and seething through my veins. br /"Don't."br /"I -"br /"Just don't." I zip up my dress, furious at him. And at myself; for letting him get to me, for giving in to the things I want but can't and shouldn't have. He raises his hands and I sit on the opposite bed, desperate to put distance between us. "Don't break it."br /"Break what?" br /"This. Whatever this is." I rush the words out, don't give him the opportunity to interrupt me. "I hate you, I will always hate you, but… you're the only person I can talk to. Properly."br /"I'm flattered -"br /"Shut up." I stand, strapping him back to the bed. Can't have the guard getting suspicious. "I'll see you next week." I hurry away to the door, glancing back with the slightest of smiles when I hear him call:br /"Looking forward to it."/p
p class="MsoNormal"*/p
p class="MsoNormal""Someone's cheered up."/p
p class="MsoNormal"I'm getting my things, ready to leave, when Molly comes /"Have I?" emDefinitely. /emBut I act as though nothing was ever wrong. I'm not sure /"What could it be?" She hums as she leans against the locker beside mine. "I can't imagine anything in here could have gotten rid of that mood." br /"Not sure." I close the door and lean against it to face her. "Maybe it's magic."br /"Maybe," She narrows her eyes in joking suspicion. "I'll figure it out."br /"Of course you will." She follows me out of the staff room and down the corridor, our heels clicking in time. br /"So, I heard a rumour it's your birthday next week." I stop, shocked that she knows. No one knows my /"How?"br /"How did I find out? Your ID."br /"Stalker," I roll my eyes, /"Sorry, invasion of privacy. But it's your eighteenth. It's important."br /"Really isn't." I continue walking but she keeps following. br /"You should celebrate." br /"Maybe." I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was thirteen. It doesn't mean anything. Just another year where I haven't died. Then again, it's pretty impressive that I've survived the past year. "You know what, maybe this is a year to celebrate."br /"Told ya'." She stops as I cross the checkpoint and I turn to wave goodbye. "I might even organise something for you."br /"Don't you dare."br /"Try and stop me."/p