85
M. didn't even watch the rest of the auditions. He spent the entire rest of the time bouncing nervously in his seat, scanning the crowd for a familiar face. She had come…he still didn't believe it. It felt like he couldn't believe it…not until he at least saw her.
It had been seven years; maybe she had changed. M. felt like he still looked more or less the same. Older, for sure, but nothing too drastic; still blond, still freckled. But maybe his mother had short black hair now, like that woman on the front row. Maybe she had gained some weight; that ruled in quite a few people he had been skipping over. His heart thudded; if anything, he hoped that she would be able to recognize him.
He had written her, and she had come. It made him feel strange; it was like being punched in the stomach, but with a good feeling. Would she have come years ago if he had just written sooner? He hadn't wanted to seem needy to her; he just kept hoping she would come back on her own. He was afraid of scaring her away more by acting like a baby. There was still a part of him that was angry at her for leaving in the first place…but it was overpowered by the need to see if she really had come back.
His mind wandered back to his conversation with his father and his fluttery, excited feeling soured. His dad was obviously furious that his mother had come back; no wonder it had taken her so long to do so. M. had a feeling it wasn't him that Matilda had been avoiding by staying away…it was his father. He wondered if his father would have even told him his mother was here, if she hadn't been adamant that she wanted to see him. She wanted to see him. She had come back for him…the fluttery feeling was back all over again.
By the time the last person came out to audition, M. was positively sick. There was even a moment he nearly bolted back to his room to avoid the meeting altogether, but he pushed away the anxiety that was swelling up inside him and tried to think realistically. There was the chance that this would be the only time he would get to see her for a while. Maybe they would meet and talk and she would disappear again. The thought made his stomach flip-flop, so he pushed it away as well and forced himself to think of something else until the point where he could actually stand and search for his mother.
His gaze drifted over to Amber's family. Her mother and brother made them stand out, with their super pale Oni skin. He wondered if they were proud of Amber's performance. He smiled a little; no doubt they were. They were good people, and Amber had done an amazing job.
Suddenly the lights were coming up, and his father was on the stage giving his standard speech thanking everyone for coming out and letting the auditionees know that they would receive news within the next few days. M. tuned it out as his heart began to pound like crazy, and he twisted in his chair to scan the crowd one again. He missed the long look that Marty IV gave him as he finished up his speech. There was a buzz of conversation as people began talking and getting up out of their seats, and M. bolted to his feet.
Where was she? He pushed past people, trying not to be annoyed with them for standing in the walkways and getting in his way. He searched the crowd, and a feeling of hopelessness was beginning to set in. There weren't that many people here…but he couldn't see anyone that matched the image he had etched into his memory of a woman with platinum blond hair…
Then suddenly, there she was. M. blinked; he wasn't sure if he had been expecting some magical shaft of sunlight to come down and spotlight her, or for the crowd to part suddenly and grant him passage. But for some reason just catching sight of Matilda standing near the back and talking to a short man with black hair and a mustache seemed almost anticlimactic. M. hesitated a moment; she looked busy. He hung back, subconsciously affected by the memories of her warning him not to bother her if she looked busy. But then she finished her conversation, and he watched as her eyes scanned the crowd. M's heart pounded; she was looking for him.
He pushed his way past people, sometimes full on shoving through and earning sneers and snappish comments in return. But he didn't care. When he was only a few yards away, her eyes finally caught sight of him. Matilda's eyebrows rose and she gave her son a bright smile, and M.'s eyes filled with tears. She began talking to the man at her side again.
"You see, Alejandro? I told you he would find us. No need to push through that sweaty herd of people."
"Mom…"
The word got choked off at the end, and M cleared his throat. He didn't need to cry in front of his mother; she would think he was pathetic. She turned back to him.
"There's my son!" she cooed. "You've gotten taller."
M wasn't sure how to respond, but he was surprised when Matilda pulled him into a hug. He froze at first, but then he caught a whiff of her perfume and his eyes filled with tears once again. She smelled exactly the same. He hugged her tightly, and Matilda laughed as she pulled back.
"Careful, Marty. This is a new suit…we don't want to wrinkle it!"
Her eyes were laughing, but he also knew that she was serious. He pulled back sheepishly.
"Sorry…"
She waved off his apologies with a smile, and he realized that his mother was looking him up and down. She circled him twice and began talking, though M. wasn't sure if she was talking to him or herself.
"Yes, good posture. At least this school is good for teaching you something. Though that uniform really isn't doing you any favors. You would look so wonderful in a crisp cerulean blue. Don't you think Alejandro? A nice blue vest with white, rather than that cream color with the green. I never liked that combination."
M. glanced over at the man he assumed must be Alejandro, but he was busy typing quickly into some kind of pager and didn't seem to be listening to his mother at all. The teen finally swallowed and turned back to Matilda.
"I…I still can't believe you came, Mom," he finally said. She didn't seem to hear him, muttering to herself about something or other. M. cleared his throat and she glanced up at him with ice blue eyes.
"Hmm? Oh, yes, Marty. I could hardly not come, not after receiving that heartbreaking letter. Honestly, I'm utterly shocked at what your father has put you through. I mean, reading between the lines of what you wrote and what I've seen in the news, can't blame you for reaching out to me."
M. wasn't exactly sure what she was talking about, but he figured that she knew Marty IV as well as anyone; she knew what he could be like. M. hadn't been super descriptive in his letter, but she obviously picked up on the fact that M. was a prisoner in his own home.
"Now…speaking of your father, I suppose we will have to tell him all about our plans, hmm?"
M's heart skipped a beat.
"Plans?"
"Well, you didn't reach out to me for no reason, Marty. You wanted me to take you away from all this, didn't you?"
She waved her hands in disgust at the crowds still milling about as families congratulated their loved ones. The Auditionees were coming out now, having finished changing. M. thought about his mother's words and part of him longed to accept her offer. Surely the whole custody thing didn't matter that much…she was his mother. She should be able to take him with her to….well. Wherever it was she had come from.
But the larger, more reasonable part of his head sent up the red flags. His father had already made his own position clear; if M tried to leave with Matilda, Marty was going to fight it tooth and nail. Suddenly they would all be sucked into the throws of an ugly custody battle and as much as he wanted to be with his mother, he didn't have any desire to be caught in the middle of that.
"Oh."
Matilda raised an eyebrow at his less-than-enthusiastic response, and M. rubbed a sheepish hand on his neck.
"Mom…I do want to spend time with you. Honest, I do. But…I already promised Dad I would stick around here until I graduate."
He was terrified that she would be angry with him, and his stomach tied itself up in knots at the thought of her snapping at him. But to his surprise and relief Matilda just shrugged.
"Well, if that's what you'd rather do."
"But…I mean, if you're gonna be in town for a bit…"
M. rushed on, but he wasn't really sure what he was trying to say. Matilda held up a finger as her phone began buzzing, and she pulled it out to answer it. She began talking to someone named Tara on the other end, and M. stood in frozen humiliation. He wanted her in his life again…he didn't want this to just be a one time thing. But how was he supposed to tell her that?
After a few minutes Matilda hung up and turned back to her son with an airy smile.
"As it so happens, I'm going to be in Ninjago City for a while yet. Did you know I'm running for councilwoman?"
M. blinked and shook his head. Matilda carried on, not seeming to mind that her son was clueless to what she had been doing the last seven years.
"It's going to be a good campaign, I think. I did a lot of traveling around, visiting little hamlets and such. I've spent the last few years really focusing on the culture of Ninjago…the true culture. It's been great fun, and I've got a pretty solid platform going for preserving the pure Ninjagoan lifestyle. I've met many very interesting people…the life of a politician is rarely dull."
M. nodded and smiled.
"I'm sure it isn't."
He didn't mean for his tone to sound so sad, but his mother seemed to catch it. She turned to him with a soft smile.
"Oh, Marty. I know these last seven years have probably been hard for you…but there comes a point in every person's life that they need to do something for themselves. Your father seemed to have things under control and I assumed I was leaving you in good hands. And as a result, I've made quite the name for myself; I can hardly go to anything anymore without someone recognizing me. And now I'm finally in a position where I can really make something of you as well."
Hope flashed in M.'s chest.
"So…we can still see each other? Even if I, you know, don't come with you?"
Matilda laughed again and slid her phone back into the stylish clutch she was carrying.
"I told you, I'm in Ninjago City now. It wouldn't take very much effort for us to see each other. Besides, I suppose your father would have an absolute conniption if you left school right now. The Openheimer temper; goodness knows I don't miss that. But I intend to come see you more now that we're within range…and I also intend to do something about all the unfortunate circumstances you find yourself in."
A grin spread across M's face.
"I'd like that. Seeing you more," He blurted. "I'd like that a lot."
Matilda returned his smile.
"Yes, I figured you would, Marty."
M wanted to hug her again, but as happy as he felt inside, he wasn't sure if she would want him to. So instead, he rambled happily.
"I'm really glad you got my letter…I wasn't sure you would. But the postman's pretty reliable, though I guess you said you were in the area anyways. Oh…and you can call me M., if you want. Most everybody does now, to keep me and Dad and Grandpa straight."
Matilda's smile became wry.
"Oh yes, I've heard. But "M" is a letter, not a name, Marty. It would have been much easier to cut down on confusion if we had just named you Bartholomew, like I had wanted in the first place. There's a good, strong name."
M. wasn't really sure what to say to that; he had never realized that his mother didn't like his name. Though, he agreed that it did make things confusing. For a moment he found himself wondering what the hidden meaning behind the name "Bartholomew" was…perhaps he and Amber could discuss it later. He blinked as he remembered his friend, and turned around to see if she had come out yet. Sure enough, she was down talking with her family and M. smiled. As much as he hated his father right now, he was happy to realize that his friend was going to get some good news in the next couple days.
"Nicknames in general are a waste of effort; people were given one name for a reason! They don't need more than that. You don't see me letting people call me 'Tilly'," Matilda was saying, and she shuddered. "Your father only made that mistake once."
"Mom, would you excuse me a minute?"
Matilda stopped talking as M. turned back to face her.
"It's just my friend who I came to watch today finally came out and I want to go tell her congratulations before she disappears with her family."
Matilda's confused look brightened immediately.
"Of course, Marty dear. Your father mentioned you were coming to support a friend. You go; Alejandro and I will wait right here for you to get back."
M beamed at her and then left to head down the aisle. Matilda watched him go with a contented look, but her expression soured as she looked past her son at the family standing near the front.
"There she is, Alejandro. Number 28…didn't I tell you? It's absolutely imbecilic that Marty allowed her to try out at all. Ninjago schools are for Ninjagoans…"
She trailed off as she watched her son head up to the family she was watching. While she stood in disbelief, the blond teen reached out and tapped the demon girl on the shoulder. The girl turned and they immediately began to have what seemed to be a very friendly conversation.
"What on earth…" Matilda murmured, shaking her head as she watched her son shake hands with the pale teenager and say a few things to the elderly gentleman standing nearby.
"A lot more complicated than you thought, hmm?"
Matilda turned in surprise to see Marty standing nearby, watching her coldly.
"What is our son doing down there with them?" Matilda demanded in an effort to recover quickly. Marty IV scoffed.
"That's Amber…she's the friend M. insisted on coming to watch."
"Friend?"
"Did you honestly think that I paired them up?" Marty asked dryly, but he didn't give her a chance to answer. "Of course you did…you've been chewing me out about it, after all. But it wasn't my idea to pair them—the only reason that they remained partners is because M. wanted them to be. Insisted, in fact. Of course I have no idea what he sees in her, but he's made his position quite clear."
"You should have never let this happen!" Matilda argued, and Marty just shrugged.
"I tried to separate them…but M. only lashed out more. Like I said…it's far more complicated than whatever scenario you've cooked up in that mind of yours."
Matilda glared at him, but Marty's patronizing tone lowered back into a threatening one.
"M. wants a relationship with you, Matilda. I wish he didn't, you can be certain of that. But he does. And here you are, claiming to want the same thing."
She scoffed, but Marty continued before she could say anything.
"You had better have been honest about that, because if I find out that you are here for any other reason…if you hurt M. in any way…you will never see him again. I will issue a restraining order that keeps you from coming within a mile of our son…"
"Honestly, Marty," Matilda sneered. "You're unbelievably dramatic…"
"I'm serious, Matilda. You get one last chance," Marty finished firmly. "I certainly hope that you aren't planning on wasting it.
86
"And here's a 'congratulations cake' on us," Ashley said with a smile as she swooped the cake in front of Amber. Her family cheered around her, but she felt uncomfortable being the center of attention.
"Save the congrats for if I actually make it in," Amber pointed out, but Kai laughed. The restaurant co-owner was standing near Cole.
"Hey, I know your family well enough to know that all cake is welcome. But knowing how you dance, I'm thinking it's safe to give preemptive congrats."
"She did really well," Cole agreed, smiling at Amber. She smiled a little.
"Thanks, Dad."
"It was crazy, Ams…here we are, suffering through all these sub-par auditions…and BAM! The curtain opens and you dance and suddenly it's not just an audition…it's a performance!"
Theo was talking with his hands due to his excitement, and he nearly toppled Keyda's water glass.
"Theo…" she chastised, and he shot her an apologetic look before continuing.
"And everyone was just staring in total shock…like the judges jaws were on the ground."
"It was very impressive," Lou agreed, smiling fondly at his grandson before winking at Amber. "Especially for a twelve-year-old."
"I'm just glad I didn't mess anything up; I haven't been that nervous in a while."
"You, nervous? You could have wiped the floor with any of those other kids…and you did!" Theo argued proudly. "You'll for sure be getting a call accepting you back in."
Amber looked over and she finally smiled at her brother.
"We'll have to see," she said, but her tone betrayed that she agreed with Theo about the call. From down the table, Cole's smile faded and he looked down at his food. Keyda reached out to grab his hand.
"She did well," she murmured to him, and Cole looked up.
"She did," he agreed, trying to smile back, but it didn't reach his eyes.
Over the years, even after everything she had been through, Keyda still wasn't good at saying goodbye. She shut her eyes as she took a deep breath. She kept trying to tell herself that this wasn't goodbye, but Hershel had said he was close…and what could she do, besides sit in with him day after day until it happened? Which of course wasn't feasible, with all her other responsibilities. Maybe this wouldn't be the last time she saw him…but maybe it would.
Keyda finally straightened and knocked crisply on the door. She didn't wait for an answer before pushing her way in. She caught sight of Heavy Metal and her heart pounded as she realized how small he looked. She had just seen him a few weeks ago…how had he become so frail and grey since then?
"I'm beginning to wonder why I have a door at all, since everyone seems to just show themselves in."
She smiled at his dry comment and came over to sit next to the bed.
"You have far too many fans to expect privacy now," she murmured as she sank down into the chair. He raised an eyebrow.
"Isn't this the one time in life I should be able to demand privacy?"
"Mmmm…not from the Ruler of the realm," Keyda answered, and she was happy when he chuckled at that. He pushed himself upright a little more, grimacing.
"If you had come a week ago, I could have walked around with you. As it is now…"
"I don't mind."
He looked over and scanned her with an unreadable expression. Her hands were clasped in her lap as she studied him as well. The grey scars seemed darker than they normally did, especially since they had seemed to fade as he got older. His eyes were as steely as ever, however…the one part of him that never seemed to change.
"I'm not much to look at," the older Oni groused quietly. "But then again…I never was."
Keyda smiled a little at that, her eyes tracing the jagged marks on his face and neck.
"You know…I always wondered why you wore that mask," she confided softly. "I thought it was just to be more intimidating. And then you showed up that day without it, with all those scars…"
He didn't say anything as she leaned in.
"Then I always wondered how you got those scars…but I never wanted to ask."
"Dragon," he responded evenly, and she nodded.
"I figured it was something like that," Keyda admitted. Heavy Metal was staring off into the distance now, seemingly lost in thought.
"It happened when I was a boy. I was on my own…"
"How did you survive?"
He looked over at her.
"I may have gotten out looking bad, but I still fared better than the dragon."
Keyda realized what he meant and Heavy Metal shrugged.
"The beast was young as well. But I had been taught the ways of survival."
The Oni Ruler shuddered a little, imagining a small boy picking his way back to his village after having been through such an experience. She didn't like to picture Heavy Metal's grey scars on small body, but that had been the case, all those decades ago.
"Survival was everything in those days, wasn't it?" the ex-leader mused from his place in bed. "Defeating the dragons…finding enough food, climbing the hierarchy."
"I suppose," Keyda murmured. Heavy Metal looked back over at her.
"You are a marvel, you know that?"
She blinked in surprise, not knowing what to say. Heavy Metal didn't seem to expect her to say anything as he leaned back on the pillows on his bedrest. He continued to scan her with tired eyes as he spoke.
"You should have died in that village…it was completely decimated. I always wondered if that was why the Baron chose to keep you…because you had already defied death."
Keyda shook her head, but the other Oni smiled.
"All those years…he never broke you. I was beginning to think he never would."
"He did, though," she reminded quietly, and Heavy Metal chuckled again.
"No. Not really. You just became stronger, Keyda. You became strong enough to overcome him."
She stared at him in silence and finally reached out to take his hand. He raised his eyebrows as she gave it a squeeze.
"You terrified me, you know…all growing up. Not as much as the Baron…but I never knew what you were thinking with that mask on. I never knew what you were capable of. But then you lost the mask and I finally found out you were capable of things I never thought."
He frowned, but she gave him a comforting smile.
"Loyalty…compassion…trust. You were my only ally for a long time, you know. Well…on the Oni side of things, at least. I wouldn't have made it through that first year without you."
"You didn't need me…" he argued, and she shook her head.
"Everybody needs someone who believes in them…who tells them to keep on going…who refuses to let them give up…"
Her eyes were swimming with tears now, and Heavy Metal creaked back up into sitting position as he clasped her hand with his other hand as well.
"No, Keyda…after everything that has made you cry over the years, don't waste any tears on me."
She stood up, and Heavy Metal seemed surprised when she pulled her hand free so she could hug him. After a moment he embraced her as well, and she felt another pang of sadness when she realized how frail he was. He had always seemed so tall and strong…it was almost worse seeing him like this.
Keyda was crying now, the tears running down her face.
"It will all feel so wrong without you," she finally said, pulling away. His gaze was calm, but she realized Heavy Metal was sad as well.
"You'll be alright," he promised with his typical hidden smile. "You've survived worse."
She scoffed, but he fixed her with a serious look.
"I mean it, Keyda. You're one of the strongest people I know."
The Ruler studied him a few minutes longer.
"You know…that's always what I thought about you."
"Bigger Dad! Make a bigger one!"
"The size he's doing is just fine, Pippa," Hershel chastised, giving the child a side-long glance. Pip waited until the Healer was turned back towards Tolan and made a face at the back of his head. Tolan couldn't help but smile.
"How much longer am I doing this?" the guard asked, sounding almost bored. There was a manageable aura ball balancing in one hand, spinning in slow, lazy circles.
"Just try to keep it going, Tolan…and keep it the same size."
"It is the same size!"
"It's been shrinking a little…" Hershel pointed out, and Tolan glared.
"It's the exact same size it's always been," he argued back. "This is the easiest exercise you've made me do!"
"It's definitely bigger now, Dad!" Pippa pointed out, and Tolan looked down to see that the ball had started to swell in size. He scowled at it, as if the power would respond to an angry expression.
"It's fine, Tolan. Just shrink it back down to the size you had it," Hershel said evenly. The Healer was chopping up different herbs and wrapping them in little bundles on the table. Tolan exhaled angrily out his nose, but he focused on calming his aura and the ball slowly ebbed back down to roughly the size it had started at. Pippa watched her father a few minutes longer before pushing herself up and bouncing over to the table.
"What are the bundles for, Uncle Hershel?"
"I told you," the Healer said, tying another one shut. "I'm training some new healers starting this week…"
"Training them how? I thought I was your apprentice!"
Hershel sighed in a long-suffering kind of way.
"Pippa, we've been over this; I haven't chosen an apprentice, and probably won't do so for many more years…"
"Then who are these people?" Pippa demanded.
"Just a few Oni in the West who are going to learn some very basic skills."
"Why?"
"So the West will have more healers."
"What's wrong with the ones there now?"
"There aren't really healers there now, Fluff," Tolan cut in. He was looking at Hershel though, frowning. "Why the sudden fascination with training healers?"
"It wasn't my idea," Hershel groused, tying another bag closed. "It's that new leader…"
Tolan's expression darkened.
"She's no Heavy Metal, I'll tell you that much. You should have seen her when Theo and I went. I mean, she's as stone-faced as Heavy Metal…but with him you knew he was strong underneath. With her it just feels fake…like she's hiding something."
"I doubt she's hiding something," Hershel responded, grimacing at the odor that sprung up as he chopped up the yellow stalks of one of the herbs he was bundling. "She's just one of the more thick-skinned Oni. You were pretty much the same, back when I met you, Tolan."
"No way. You have to guess at what she's thinking. You never had to guess with me."
Hershel couldn't help but smile wryly at that.
"I guess that's true. You always were one for blunt honesty…"
"But honesty is better than lying!" Pippa chirped up. She had been riffling through the Sniffer treat jar and Hershel turned to make a tsking sound at her.
"What are you doing?"
"Baffa's still out there from when we went and picked all your herbs!" Pippa whined, pouting a little. "He wants a treat…"
"You got home hours ago, Pip. Why would Baffa still be out there?"
"Cuz he always waits for me to tell him he can go hunting," she replied confidently. Hershel scoffed.
"And you've made him wait hours. That's not very kind…"
"I just remembered!" she argued, having fished out a treat. "So now I'm going to go give him one!"
She scampered off, and Hershel watched her go.
"Remind me again how she managed to train a Sniffer?" he asked dryly, and Tolan chuckled.
"Dunno. We went out one day and when we got back she was riding this beefy black thing. We're pretty sure she bribed it not to eat her; he's a real sucker for treats."
"Obviously," Hershel replied. He finished the last of the yellow root bags and sighed, counting them up.
"She better not have invited more than three," he finally said, mainly to himself. Tolan yawned.
"You should have just said no. Sounds like a waste of time to me."
"I almost did, but I'm hoping it will be a good investment in the long run. If I can make it so there are more traveling healers, then I can make it so my own workload goes down."
"But isn't that like shooting yourself in the foot? They could go train other people, and suddenly there's more healers than there needs to be."
Hershel paused a moment, but then he shook his head.
"There are a lot of Oni in this realm; far more than the current healer population could ever reach. Just because fever tends to hit the Central province harder than the West, it doesn't mean that they wouldn't benefit from traveling healers. Besides, I'm not planning on teaching them everything. Just the basics; how to recognize and treat fever, bite wounds, burns, that sort of thing."
Tolan shrugged, as if he was grudgingly admitting that it made sense while also showing that he didn't really care.
"Can I be done with this ball thing yet?" he asked again, and Hershel looked up with a smile.
"Just a little longer."
Amber tried to focus on the book she was reading, but every few minutes she would sigh and turn to stare at her Grandfather's phone. Considering that she was waiting for an important phone call, her parents had agreed to let her spend the week with her Grandpa Lou. But it was almost worse, just sitting there with nothing much to do and the telephone staring at her. She couldn't even go anywhere because she was tied to the stupid thing.
Lou had gotten up that morning feeling sprier than usual and told Amber he was going into town to meet up with a few members of his quartet. One of them had passed away since their glory days, and the other two weren't in the greatest health. Apparently, they had been trying to get as much time together as they could before any more of them went. It was a bittersweet thought, really…and it bothered Amber how short Ninjagoan life spans were. How much longer did her Grandfather really have, good health or not? How much longer did her Father have? And what about her and Theo? Would they have more Oni-like longevity, or would they be doomed to so short a fate?
The doorbell rang and shook her from her existential thoughts, and she shuddered a little. Pushing such morbid things from her mind, she went to open the door. She blinked in surprise when she saw M. on the doorstep, and for a moment her heart pounded because she thought he was hand-delivering her the news from auditions. His first words dashed such hopes, however.
"You hear anything yet?"
She blinked and then shook her head.
"What are you doing here?"
M. shrugged nonchalantly.
"It's Saturday, and my Dad's stuck in meetings all day. I figured you'd be staying with your Gramps so I thought I'd come see if you were in…and, you know, if you'd heard anything."
"You'd know better than me," she replied honestly, and she opened the door so he could come in. He did so, though he laughed a little bitterly at her comment.
"There's no way I can be sure of anything my Dad does. He's been all over the place lately. I told him that I'd stay for graduation, but it's like he doesn't trust me."
They walked over to the couch, and Amber moved her discarded book so they could sit together as M. continued to rant.
"I've done everything he's wanted for weeks but now he's been blowing up at me all over again. It's been one fight after another; I can't wait for my Grandpa to get back. I think he's back tomorrow…which is good, because with my Mom back now I need someone else on my side about me seeing her and Grandpa's always been good to talk my Dad into things…"
"Your Mom's back?"
Amber was surprised. She still didn't really understand why M's mother had left in the first place, and her friend had always been really guarded about the subject. But for some reason the fact that the woman had suddenly reappeared seven years later was even more shocking.
"Oh, right. Gee…I meant to tell you that night, but all your family was there and I didn't get a chance. You know the night of the audition? Well, duh…it was a big night for you…that was a dumb thing to ask. But she showed up there! Like, to watch…which was kinda weird to me because I sent the letter a while ago but maybe it took her a while to get it…"
He was rambling and Amber held up a hand.
"She was at the audition? The letter you sent her, you mean?"
"Yeah! Remember how I told you my father was driving me insane and I finally just wrote to her? She got it, and she came!"
Amber felt a stab of panic despite M's obvious excitement.
"But…then….is she staying now? Or are you leaving?"
"Oh, I'm not leaving. My Dad would have an absolute fit," M. assured. Amber felt relief at that, though she wasn't sure M's reasoning was the best. He continued. "My mom's in town running for councilwoman and so she's going to be around a lot so we're going to be hanging out more. Or…spending time together. Or something; we didn't really work it out. But the point is I'm actually going to see her more!"
Amber wasn't sure what to say to that, but M was obviously very excited. She tried to imagine not seeing one of her parents for seven years and realized that she would probably be excited too…except if one of her parents had purposefully left for seven years she thought she might be a little angrier.
"Are you mad at her? For leaving in the first place?"
M seemed taken aback by her question, and she could see that he was a little irritated.
"Well, I guess a little. But I mean, between her and my Dad right now…"
He let the comment hang in the air, and Amber frowned.
"Your Dad is a jerk," she agreed quietly. "But he didn't leave."
M. just scoffed, like he didn't think Amber could understand.
"This is a good thing, Amber. I wrote her and she came. That means that I'm not the one she's been avoiding all these years!"
Amber still felt like the whole situation seemed strange, but she realized that M. wanted her to be excited with him. She sighed.
"That's good, then," she tried with a smile. He frowned at her.
"What's up with you?"
"I'm just nervous about getting the call," Amber said, glancing towards her grandfather's phone again. "It's all I've been able to think about all day!"
It wasn't a lie, exactly. M. nodded.
"I guess I could see that," he admitted. "But I don't think you have anything to worry about, Amber. You did really well. Honestly, I overheard some of the judges talking afterwards and you just blew them away. They've never seen that kind of original piece from someone as young as you."
"I'm not that young," she argued, glancing at the phone again. It made her feel happy to hear that people were talking about her performance, though. She had worked hard on it. Spurred by her good feelings, she offered "I'm glad your Mom is back. What's she like?"
M's smile faded as he thought about it.
"Um…she's blonde," he offered. Amber laughed and M. joined in. He seemed to loosen up after that and leaned forward as he continued. "I remember her always being busy…but she always looked so neat, you know? And she smells good."
"She smells good? What does she smell like?"
M. looked over at her, and Amber realized that he was trying to gauge whether or not she was making fun of him. She gave him her most genuine look and he shrugged again.
"It's hard to explain. Just some expensive perfume…not the flowery kind of smell though. The other kind. I don't know what to call it."
Amber wasn't sure what to call it either. She wasn't really sure what perfume was or if she knew anybody that wore it. But she did understand smells; smells could tell you a lot about a person.
"My dad always smells like Dragons," she mused. M looked up in surprise and laughed.
"Amber…your life never stops surprising me."
"He rides around on a giant dragon all day!" Amber argued. "It's not like he has much of a choice. It kinda drives my Mom crazy; she makes him shower as soon as he gets home."
"Cuz Dragons and Oni used to be enemies?" M. guessed, and Amber just shrugged.
"More like Dragons kinda stink. I've never minded it much; it just always smelled like Dad."
"Maybe you should make that into a perfume; 'Dragon Musk' would probably be popular…"
"I doubt it!" Amber said, but she was happy to see M. so relaxed. He had seemed really stressed out that time she had seen him outside his father's office.
"Hey, speaking of your family…" M. started, and Amber's smile faded as she guessed at what he would say next. "We have plenty of time now for you to tell me what happened during those weeks you were gone."
"I already told you about them."
"Not really! C'mon, tell me the details."
She clammed up, glowering at the floor. M. nudged her.
"Come on, Amber. I tell you about everything interesting that happens to me!"
"It wasn't just some interesting adventure, M!" Amber snapped, turning to him. "It was horrible!"
"Why? It sounds like an interesting adventure."
She glared at him and he held up his hands in defense.
"How am I supposed to know what it was really like if you don't tell me?"
Amber didn't answer and M gave her his best pleading look. He sobered when he saw her eyes fill with tears, however.
"Amber…"
"I was horrible, M. I was…I was a monster."
He looked surprised and then shook his head.
"Nah…I'm sure you weren't that bad. You said that you defeated that crazy ghost woman; you wouldn't have been able to do that if you were the bad guy."
Amber just scoffed and his voice dropped softer.
"C'mon…just tell me what happened."
Silence fell for a few minutes, and M finally decided to drop it. To his surprise, however, she started talking.
"Fine. But don't you dare judge me, M…"
"Promise," he said, and she sighed and then began.
87
"Two of you? That sounds kinda trippy…"
"The whole Island messes with your mind. It tried to drown Theo in his own guilt," Amber said. M. whistled low.
"So which one did you pick? The Oni one or the normal one?"
She glared at them.
"Neither of them was the normal one, M! They were both freaky!"
He winced a little.
"I meant the Ninjago one…sorry. But if you had to pick…"
"I didn't pick either of them," Amber snapped. "They weren't me. They weren't even real…just images the Island made to prey on my weakness."
M. processed that.
"What weakness?"
Amber flushed a little before shrugging defensively.
"Just…you know…being stuck between two worlds, I guess. They kept saying I have to choose one or the other but I don't. I don't have to choose…I can have both!"
M. smiled.
"I told you that, didn't I? When you were freaking out about what my Grandpa said. But if you didn't choose one or the other, how did you get out?"
Here she smiled a little as she remembered.
"I blasted through the wall."
"Blasted it? Didn't you try that before?"
"Before I was trying to blast them. But then I could hear this screaming…and I could feel all this fear in the distance. So I started blasting through the wall to make my own path. They were mad then!"
"And it worked?"
She nodded.
"It finally shattered and let me out."
M. chuckled.
"That'll teach them to try to corner you; if you don't like your choices, you make your own path."
His smile faded and she looked over as she felt his sudden sadness.
"I wish I could be like that."
Amber wasn't sure what to say, so she just poked him.
"Mmmm, maybe I'll take you to the Island and you can have it out with your inner demons," she joked softly. He scoffed but then looked over to smile.
"Nah…I'd just end up getting swallowed up, like those other friends of yours. What happened to them, by the way?"
"Tolan and Syn? I…don't really know. I know they ended up finding the parasite and killing it, and Tolan unlocked his powers, but I never really found out how. We didn't really talk about it, after the fact. Everything was just so…messed up."
"Unlocked powers? Maybe I should go," M. joked softly, but he could see that Amber was remembering something hard. He cleared his throat. "So…what happened next? Who was screaming?"
Amber blinked.
"No one. Well…my Dad, technically. But it wasn't really him…it was our memory of him being tortured. Theo was the one with all the fear; I was relieved to have found him. But after chasing the scream for forever we finally realized that it was just another way the Island was tormenting us."
M just stared at her.
"Geez…" he finally said, not knowing what else he could say. She shrugged.
"I told you…it wasn't an adventure. It was horrid."
"What about the ghost lady you mentioned? How'd she get mixed up in all of this?"
Amber's face fell further.
"It was my fault," she finally admitted. "We…we went to summon an Ancient to help us. After all the horrible things the Island decided we were worthy or whatever and we got to the beckoning stone…"
"Ancients are…what again?" M interrupted, and Amber sighed in slight annoyance.
"They never die. Well…I mean they can, but only through very specific rules. The First Ancients are the ones who created the realm in the first place. I think. Or maybe they just lived there first? I'm not sure but they were way, way old and they did create Banishment, so we were trying to connect to them in order to fix it."
"So why didn't you?"
Amber scowled.
"I asked for someone that could fix Banishment to come help us…but the only one who was willing…"
She trailed off and shuddered.
"It was Evynn. She's the one who answered."
"She was an Ancient? Geez…evil and immortal. Bad combo."
Amber shot M another angry look; why was it he always talked about her life like it was some comic book story?
"The only reason she died in the first place is because her father was an Ancient too and he sacrificed his life force to take hers. Or something. That's really the only way to kill an Ancient: use another Ancient."
"So you had to use another Ancient to kill her this time?"
"No, M. She was already dead!"
"Then how could she hurt you?"
"Because she was still powerful!" Amber explained, but her face contorted when she realized it didn't make much sense. "She wasn't alive…but she was still tangible. And on the Island, very very powerful."
"So creepy immortal ghost demon showed up," M translated as he leaned forward. "How'd you beat her?"
Amber was silent.
"We…didn't try, at first. I mean, Theo was so terrified, and he kept yelling at her to leave. But I'm the one who summoned her, so I had to be the one to tell her to leave."
"Why didn't you?"
Amber's expression filled with shame.
"I didn't know what to do. I didn't think she was that dangerous…and she promised she would help us if we got her something in return; her second horn, which her father had turned into this dagger thing…"
"Man, this story just keeps getting crazier."
"Stop treating it like a story!"
M. held his hands up in apology, and Amber sighed, rushing forward.
"I asked her to take us to our parents and she did. The other Ancient was there…the one that took them in the first place. Our parents were in this weird deep sleep and we couldn't wake them up and then Pazzol told us it was because he wanted the parasite to kill Hershel…and then he started hurting Theo…"
M. bit back his comment, but Amber could feel his urge to say something. She ignored it, her speech becoming rapid.
"So…so I did it. Evynn sent me off the Island and said she would protect Theo if I got her the dagger so I did. I went and I found it and I brought it back and I gave it to her. Theo told me not to but all I could think was that Pazzol would hurt him or my parents or Hershel and Evynn had technically kept all her promises…"
Tears were running down her face now, and M's expression became concerned. He put a hand on her shoulder.
"It sounds like it was pretty freaky, Amber. I don't blame you for believing her…"
"I wanted her to help us!" she finally blurted, her face flushed with shame and horror. "I…I wanted her to prove that she could be trusted. Because if she wasn't a monster than it would just prove that I wasn't either…."
"Amber, you're nothing like that crazy lady. I mean, I don't know much about her, but from what I do know you're completely different."
She wiped at her face.
"I was wrong about everything. And then she…she possessed me and I still didn't fight back."
"Wait."
She felt M. become disturbed.
"She…what?"
"She was a ghost, remember? So she drained Pazzol of his life force and then used it to…invade me. Take my body." Amber shuddered hard. "I was frozen in my own body and it was terrifying, but I just let her. She said she needed it to finish the spell."
Her friend was silent as he sat on the couch, and she continued awkwardly.
"Theo was so angry and so afraid, but I thought it would be ok. We went and Evynn did the spell and it worked; she fixed Banishment."
"She did? You sure?"
Amber nodded.
"I could see her doing it. But…she drained Theo's energy to do it. By the time she was done he was so weak…"
Amber began crying again at the memory and M shook his head.
"You're right…this is a lot different than I was picturing…"
"She said she was going to keep my body so she could use it to take over or do experiments or whatever. I started fighting back then but it was too late. She trapped Theo…started to take his memories…"
She was sobbing now and M. became extremely uncomfortable.
"He…was so…broken…and it was all my fault!"
The sandy-haired teenager swallowed hard but was at a loss for what to say. When he finally spoke his voice was soft and timid.
"But you said you beat her, right? And your brother is fine now…I just saw him at your audition."
She cried a few minutes longer before she finally was able to continue her story.
"I broke free…I saw some of her memories, and we fought in my mind. It was weird and I hated it but I had to do it because she said she would take Theo…she threatened to hurt him and I couldn't let her…"
She shuddered again and forced her emotions down, clenching her jaw so she could finish this story. She was regretting telling M in the first place; he obviously didn't know what he was asking.
"I finally beat her. Emotions are power, and I used love. She didn't have anything to combat that."
M. blinked.
"Kinda deep," he admitted, and Amber scoffed bitterly.
"I didn't matter. I beat her, sure…but then I woke up and Theo was…he was…"
She squeezed her eyes shut in hopes of blocking the memory, but it just made it so she could see it that much clearer. She forced the words out, and they sounded almost emotionless.
"He died."
M. balked.
"But he didn't really…I just saw him!" he repeated. Amber shrugged forlornly.
"There was enough of him left we were able to pull him back…my family and Tolan. Syn and Tolan had found another Ancient and he helped us too. But even after getting home and getting Theo back…he wasn't…the same."
Her voice was soft and she hugged herself.
"He could still remember the departed realm."
"Really?!"
M. felt more intrigued than horrified and Amber glared at him.
"It drove him crazy, M! He was…he was losing his mind. It was so scary…he was there, but he was slipping away…"
"Oh."
M fidgeted.
"But…you fixed him, right?"
Amber hugged herself harder.
"I…I had to…"
She shook her head and M. frowned.
"You had to what?"
"I had to erase the memories…the ones of the departed realm."
It came out as a whisper, and horror and shame flooded her body. She waited for what M. would say; it was the first time she had admitted what she had done to anyone. Amber suddenly couldn't breathe; he would think she was a monster…
"That makes sense, I guess."
She turned to him in surprise, and he blinked at her expression.
"What?"
"Don't you get it?! I had to go in and erase his memories!"
"You just said that," he said, staring at her like he was trying to figure out what he was missing. "Did it…hurt him?"
She scoffed.
"No…but it…I was in his mind! I could have done anything! There was so much that I could have messed up!"
He frowned at that.
"What else did you do?"
"Nothing," she admitted, still annoyed that he didn't get it. "But it was all my fault. He wouldn't have even needed me to go in there if I hadn't trusted Evynn!"
M. shrugged, putting his hands behind his head as he leaned back.
"But the hole wouldn't have gotten fixed if you hadn't right? And that was a huge problem….you said people would have died…"
"We could have found another way," Amber argued, and M. frowned in thought.
"I guess. But the other Ancient people didn't listen to you. And you defeated her in the end anyways, and you got your brother back to normal. I mean, I get that it must have been super freaky…I just don't get why you're so hung up on it."
She stared at him and he looked over.
"Really, Amber. After everything you just told me, you going in to fix your brother's memories is like the easiest to believe. Defeating some super powerful ghost-witch lady in your own mind with love? That's a little harder to wrap my mind around…"
"But…"
Amber paused.
"But I messed up," she finished lamely, and M. shrugged.
"Yeah…maybe. But you fixed it all."
"But what if I couldn't have?!"
"But you did. You aren't a monster, Amber. You're a twelve-year-old who was forced in over her head and still fought a crazy demon lady and saved your realm and your brother."
She just stared at him.
"No…"
"That's what I got out of it," M. replied honestly, and Amber glanced away. Part of her filled with relief, while another part of her burned with the realization that M would never really understand. He couldn't.
M's voice was softer when he spoke again.
"I'm…I'm sorry I made you tell me everything. If I had known it was going to upset you this much…"
He gestured at her face, and she realized that she must look like a puffy, crying mess. She scoffed wetly and wiped at her cheeks again.
"You just mean you wish you hadn't asked," she said bitterly. M shook his head.
"I did want to know, Amber. And sure…some of it was downright creepy…but I wanted to know. I just…I wish it didn't upset you so much. You're the good guy, Amber."
She pushed herself off the couch angrily.
"I told you, this isn't some comic book! There are no good guys…just a girl who messed up!"
M. stared at her, seemingly lost for words.
"We all mess up sometimes, Amber. But you fixed your mess up. Everything's ok now."
She just grimaced.
"Then why doesn't it feel ok?" Amber finally demanded, and M. was silent. He finally shrugged.
"Some things just don't, I guess. But there's no point in beating yourself up about it. Didn't you say that your brother used to get this way about what happened all those years ago when the lady kidnapped you?"
Amber shook her head.
"That's different…that wasn't his fault!"
"This wasn't yours! You didn't release the parasite, Amber…or whatever it was. And you didn't get your parents trapped in the creepy ghost island. I mean…you could have just stayed here at the school, like I told you to. Would that have fixed everything? If you hadn't gone?"
Amber thought about that. She pictured what would have happened…and her stomach clenched. They wouldn't have ever found that Island…and even if they had, all she could see was Theo running after phantom screams in the dark forever.
"I had to go, M. It's not that I regret going…I just wish I hadn't been so stupid. I just wish I could have been better…"
"No one's perfect, Amber."
She looked back over at where M. was sitting. He was concerned, she could tell…and despite his attempt to smooth his reaction over she knew her story had disturbed him. She didn't say anything as her eyes flicked over him, and he finally shifted, uncomfortable.
"You're always the one with the deep thoughts, huh?" he smiled awkwardly. "I'm probably not the best at pep talks. But I still think you're beating yourself up over nothing."
The fight left her then. She didn't necessarily agree with him, but she was tired of arguing with him. She was tired of all the emotions running around inside that she had tried to bury after everything that had happened all those weeks ago. She sank down onto the couch next to M. again.
Having the audition to work towards had kept her mind occupied. Amber had even fooled herself into thinking that she could talk about what had happened, but obviously that was a lie. She glanced over and felt a strange rush of gratitude for M. As much as it annoyed her that he could never truly understand, he felt like such a safe person to confide in. She could talk to Theo about it, obviously, but she hated making him think about it. She was terrified to speak to Hershel still, for whatever reason…and she shrunk from the thought of ever telling her parents everything. She knew they loved her, but she knew that telling them she messed with Theo's mind would scare them…horrify them.
M. was a different story; a totally unaffiliated party…someone that for whatever reason saw her and all her flaws and thought they were cool. Someday he'd probably figure out otherwise, but for now she was finding herself a little less bitter that he had asked about the story after all.
"Hey…M?"
He raised an eyebrow and she subconsciously fingered the necklace around her neck.
"Thanks for coming over. And…I'm sorry if it creeped you out to hear about everything."
"Hey, it's fine. There's scarier stuff on T.V."
She doubted it…the stuff in her past was real, after all. But his comment helped somewhat and the tension in the room lessened.
"So…" M. started, changing the subject. "What's your plan for when you get back in?"
She looked at him in surprise and he realized what he had said.
"I mean, Dad would be crazy not to let you. Say you get the call and you're accepted; what then?"
She blinked.
"Then I guess I'll see you next semester."
He shook his head.
"You'd wait all the way till then?"
"I have to; they aren't going to let me join back in mid semester!" she argued. M had a weird feeling to him, and he rubbed his head.
"Well, they might. I mean you're a special case; you aren't some new student or transfer. You technically were in school at the start of the semester; it wouldn't be fair to make you lose the whole rest of the year when you already got accepted back in."
She stared at him, her expression making it obvious that she didn't think that would happen. He cleared his throat.
"But if that did happen…would your family let you come back that soon? You would want to, yeah?"
"Well…sure. But…"
"Cool. That's all I wanted to know." M said sheepishly with an awkward shrug. "I…just heard the judges talking about it, that's all."
She didn't really believe him. Something about this whole conversation felt off, but she couldn't put a finger on it.
"They don't really have the final say in that decision," she pointed out carefully, and M's laugh was a little too forced.
"Yeah, I guess not. We'll just have to see what my Dad decided on, huh?"
"Yeah…I guess."
Her grandfather's clock began chiming, and M looked up in surprise.
"Shoot…it's already that late? I have to go…"
Amber stood to walk him to the door, and he shot her one last sheepish look.
"Sorry for taking up your day…and making you tell me that story even though it was…well, you know."
"Thanks for listening," she said softly, trying to figure out why he was so jumpy all of a sudden. He made it to the door and gave her one last smile before heading out. Amber gave one last wave and sighed. The door closed and she felt a sudden pang of loneliness set in as she turned to face the empty house.
27