All The Things I Hate About You, Part XV

Rating: M

Summary: All The Things, continued. Kate Advent, Day 15.

#15 You have a rule for bloody everything

"So, in order to preserve this mutually beneficial flatmate and friend situation," she said gesturing to the general space between them. "I think we should implement some rules."

"Rules?" Draco frowned. "You're bloody joking, right? It's sex Granger, it's not one of your work projects that requires a contract or something, fuck."

"Ooh, a contract. That's actually - "

"No," he interrupted. "Absolutely fucking not. Don't even think about it."

"Fine," she lamented. "I still want to lay out some ground rules though." He sighed and waved his wand to summon a fresh cup of tea, perching on the end of the sofa and motioning for her to continue. She pursed her lips, "Well, for starters, no emotions. It's purely physical, sex just for sex."

"You mentioned that already," he grumbled.

"Oh – and no sleeping with other people while this is going on."

Draco nearly choked on his tea, wiping at his mouth and glaring at her, "I'm sorry – WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Malfoy," she snapped impatiently, "That's hardly sanitary and not at all fair to me if you plan on - "

"No, no," he waved his hand brusquely. "Not that part. I'm on board with that. I was referring to your oh so casual implication that this particular tryst would be… what – reoccurring?"

"Oh," she gasped, blinking. "Right, well I just assumed - "

"Ah, well that explains it, Granger. You know what they say about assuming things." He mused.

She rolled her eyes at him, "I should never had taught you that. Never mind then, why don't we leave that out of it for the moment? It's not like we know if sex between us will even be enjoyable or good, per se - "

"HEY," Draco sat up, crossing his arms. "How dare you? Just because Weasley can't find your clitoris does not mean - "

"YES, FINE," Granger shouted, shutting him up. "You are very talented in bed and I'm sure it has nothing at all to do with your fragile ego or Freudian need for touch and intimacy."

Draco grimaced, "Wow, Granger, you really know how to woo a man, don't you?"

She sighed, "This has absolutely nothing to do with that, and for the record I wasn't even trying to woo you. If I was, you would know." Then she cut him off as he opened his mouth again.

"THE POINT IS," she paused, exhaling. "The point is that there should be no need for wooing or niceties just because sexual intercourse is involved. We should still be our usually, argumentative selves. It would be firstly less exhausting than having to pretend, and secondly, enable us to keep this strictly physical exertion between two friends."

"Fine," he muttered. "But if we're going to have sex, then I demand you take a long and intense shower first. Without me. This," he gestured to her sniffling sweatpants ensemble, "is not going to work for me. I don't plan on getting whatever Weasley tears you shed all over my suit. It's new." He sniffed.

Granger smiled, "That's more like it."

"TODAY, GRANGER."

"FINE, I'M GOING. THERE'S NO NEED TO YELL," she paused in the middle of the hallway and turned back to look at him, "Wait, there's something else."

"What is it now, Granger?"

"We need to swear on it. That we'll hold up to the rules."

He groaned, "For fuck's sake, on what?"

She shrugged, "A Bible?

"Neither of us are religious," He pointed out.

"Right," she frowned, then snapped her finger as an idea came to mind. In the next instant, she walked up to him with something in her hands. She held it out between them, "Put your right hand on it, Malfoy."

"What is it, Granger?"

"It's a DVD set, obviously."

He huffed impatiently, "You know very well I have no care for your muggle contraptions, Granger, or at least no more than the - "

"Yes, I know, Malfoy." She sighed, then held up the object to him. "It's a DVD set of Bachelor in Paradise, seasons one through five, so if you're quite done with your petulant tantrum - "

"Wait – what? But we haven't even seen those seasons, just the later ones," he protested, confused.

"YES, I KNOW, MALFOY – Ugh – I just – They were going to be a Christmas present for you before we made the agreement not to buy gifts for each other, so - "

He cut her off with a rushed kiss, knocking the DVD set from her grasp and cupping her face in the palms of his hands. His lips fit perfectly around hers, and she leaned into him, welcoming it after getting over the initial moment of shock.

"What?" She gasped, breathless, when he released her. "I thought you said I needed to shower?"

"Yes," he said. "You still do, but I changed my mind. I'm going to join you."

"Oh… Well, alright then." Her face instantly brightened up. She sauntered towards the bathroom, and he followed suit. "Just so you know, I don't usually care for shower sex. It's uncomfortable and not very enjoyable."

"Honestly, I'm not a fan either. This will mostly be foreplay," he shrugged.

She began lifting her crewneck over her head, her curls springing loose from her bun and he reached out to take the drawstrings of her sweatpants from her.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Undressing myself," she shook her head at him. "Obviously. Honestly, Malfoy, you want me to believe you can bring me to orgasm if you can't even grasp this simple concept?"

He huffed, "I meant why are you undressing yourself. I can do that."

"We're doing this as friends, remember?" She told him primly. "That means that you need to tone down any smuggery or game you usually use."

She expertly unclasped her bra from behind her back and dropped it onto the tile floor without even blinking. He, however, had to blink several times.

"Wow," he breathed, cupping both breasts in his hands.

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?" Granger barked before turning and swiftly entering the steamy shower.

"Fine," Draco groaned, shuffling out of his clothes and stepping into the hot water after her. "They aren't the most impressive as far as tits go, but they do fit rather neatly in my hands so there is that."

Granger shot him an exasperated look, "Come on, Malfoy."

His gaze surveyed her naked body, and he pointedly paused at her tits before meeting her narrowed eyes. "Your right breast is slightly bigger, and I believe," – he bent his head absurdly close that definitely did not help his eyesight but did feel debauched – "your nipples aren't even, either."

"Much better," she smirked. She wrapped her arms around his neck and backed him up to the tile wall, kissing him fiercely. In between kisses she whispered, "My right breast may be bigger, Malfoy, but I implore you to give both equal attentions – OH – and also, do not touch my ears."

"Why are you - "

"Friends," she gasps as his lips move from her jaw to her neck. "For this to remain as – oh – as platonic as possible I – oh, fuck – we need to keep it casual and – oh god, yes, there – be honest. That would make it,"

She paused to moan as his fingers went from trailing along her inner thighs to brushing precariously around the lips of her cunt. Her own hand was wrapped around his pulsating cock, pumping it vigorously.

Draco was surprisingly pleased with her eagerness to pick up speed and rhythm on him; most girls – not that he'd really been with that many but… from his experience thus far – just assumed it was preferable to start of slow but sometimes –

"Oh, fuck, Granger," Draco hissed, gritting his teeth against her collarbone.

"To make it – yesyesthere – very satisfying," she exhaled, finally.

His eyes glinted, glancing up to see hers gratifyingly shut, and lips quirked into a sly smile.

"Don't worry, Granger," he winked. "It will be very satisfying."

A/N - This one is for Perry Jackson, thank you x