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Part IV- Imprint
Chapter 6- The after effects
"Sam please" I said remorsefully closing my eyes briefly from the guilt and pain I felt uttering these next few words "You need to leave. She… She does not want to see you right now"
My head throbbed with an intense ache as I felt a deep sickness build within my stomach giving out the urge of throwing up with the impression that I was falling ill, a feat I was not even sure wolves were capable of with their fast healing and much higher than normal body temperature that easily killed all germs before they could even manifest. The dilemma I was facing at the moment was a terribly hard one, one that would no matter which side I chose cause me to lose. On one side was my brother, someone who I had known and loved for my entire life, someone who was my family and on the other side, was a broken girl who I had known for most of my life and was currently crying her eyes out in the room upstairs.
As a sister I wanted to take Sam's side no matter how wrong I felt his actions had been. He was family and he deserved his sister's support in whatever made him happy in life, even if it was with Emily who I did not really like much particularly but as a woman I really could not ignore Leah's cries of being cheated on, if I could even use that term. She needed a female support at this point of time and as another woman I felt that I needed to do that for her. She had always treated me like a younger sister and probably it was my turn to play the part now.
"I could smell her around in the party" said Sam, his voice filled with unknown fear and a bit of realization as he refused to budge from his place at the front door of the house. The pelting rain falling harshly from the sky in this dark moonless night did nothing to diminish his spirit.
"Did she…. Oh fuck!" he groaned out taking his head in his hands and kicking a large rock that was lying on the ground nearby in anger.
I nodded my head answering his unasked question as a glare overtook my face "Yes she saw you locking lips with Emily Young, her cousin out of all people" "How could you Sam?" I continued, muttering in disbelief with a scowl firmly placed on my face "I understand she is your imprint but how could you do this without breaking up with Leah first. She deserved at least that much from you and I thought you were fighting the imprint" I whispered afraid of getting the words out "Have you changed your decision?"
I crossed my fingers in trepidation as I waited for him to answer my question. I knew the pull towards the imprint was hard to fight and even Levi and Ellen had told me this time and again that Sam was fighting an already lost battle but I had never really wanted to accept this before. It was just hard to imagine Leah without Sam and Sam without Leah. They had been together since so long that a time when they were not together as a couple or even as friends was hard to imagine.
"Are you crazy?" he scowled back at me exasperated, his face twisting in anger as he started to shake violently "I love Leah and I have told you and everyone else this before several times that I am not going to let her go. I don't want anyone but her in my life and you all just need to accept it and stop interfering in our life" he shouted, his shakes increasing with every second almost to the point where he was starting to nearly look like a blur.
"Sam calm down" I said worriedly knowing that he was not in control of his anger at this point of time and if he were to phase, it would be like leaving a feral wolf out to play with the consequences too grave to consider. I used my rarely used alpha voice which I was sure to give results and soon Sam's shakes had lessened and so had the firm scowl placed on his face.
"And I don't have any intention of interfering in your life" I said softly clarifying "Contrary to what you think I don't get any sick pleasure from your and Leah's pain and sadness. I am just worried about you both"
A part of me was heavily disappointed and upset that Sam could think so low of me, that I would gain happiness and amusement from their life problems but I pushed that part down. Sam had always been known for saying stuff he really did not mean to the person who he knew did not deserve it, when he was angry. When angry some people slam doors and throw things, some shout and curse while some get completely quiet waiting for the cards of life to turn in their favor and my brother fell heavily under the second category and shouted and cursed when angry. Add into that the anger caused as a result of his decision to fight the imprint which was heavily present at all times these days and he was a time bomb waiting to explode.
He sighed, a heavy breath resounding from his throat "It is not you. I know you mean well. It is just that it is tough right now. Our every movement is being judged and questioned by people who should have had no say in our life in the first place and…" he trailed of in the end, kicking another stone that lay in the gravel and I nodded my head not knowing what to say to this but understanding where he was coming from. I knew that the council and all the 'oldies' who were aware of the secret and of imprinting had made Sam's life hell with the pressure of accepting the imprint and it was draining all the remaining energy out of him trying to get them of his back.
As a last resort I had tried too. I was his alpha. Wasn't it my job to see to it that my pack was content and satisfied in their lives? I had even gone to one of the 'only alpha is to attend' council meeting a few weeks backs and a shudder involuntarily left my body as the memories of that day drifted through my mind. Personal digs on my age and sex had been repeatedly made and after a point even getting offended had felt futile. It was of no use as the digs on me being just a 'mere child' or 'a stupid girl who is trying to act like a leader' had continued and by the time I had made it home that night, tears were drenching my face and my shirt was completely wet. I had never felt more violated in life and even naked even though I was completely dressed. It had taken my mother a good two hours to get me to calm down from all the sobs, first loud then dry and when Sam had found out of this, through my mother who refused to stay quiet on this matter, he had been livid and had firmly ordered and argued with me that I was never to attend these meetings again. If the council wanted to talk to their pack's alpha they would have to do so in front of the pack with Sam present there. The next day had also been monumental in a way as an angry and disappointed Allison had first visited Levi, who though had not said anything to me but even staying quiet against injustice is an equal crime and then to Billy who was the chief of the tribe and was guilty of the same crime as Levi. She had insisted sternly that I may have been only a sixteen year old female wolf who was destined to be the alpha but their spirits were the one who had taken this decision and so they had no right to insult and undermine me like this. I deserved as much respect and say as any male alpha would have received in the same situation. She had then later told me, taking my hand in hers that no matter what others thought of you, everyone was entitled to keep their say and give their opinion and if I wanted to survive in this world I would have to get used to criticism and judgments as that was how the world worked and as you got older your friends lessened and competitors competing for the same one position or place increased and one had no choice but to beat that competition and make their place in the world. There was always going to be someone there to pull you down, to ridicule you and to laugh at you when you fall but it was on you to fight all of that and move ahead in life becoming the person you are meant to be. If you think you are correct and what you are doing is justified stick to your stand as the results will show, if not now years from now but they will show. I had then hugged her tightly thanking for the hundredth time whoever was sitting up there and felt that I was blessed enough to have such a supportive and strong mother in life.
"So why did you do it then?" I asked Sam pushing all the previous thoughts revolving in my mind to the back of it to think of it later when I was alone "Why did you kiss Emily if you had no intention of accepting the imprint?"
"She tricked me okay" he shouted, his shakes beginning again "She made me do it and now that I think of it, I wouldn't put it past her to know that Leah was right there and would be seeing us together"
"What?" I asked puzzled. How could someone trick another person into kissing them if they did not want to?
He sighed "Phase with me. Instead of me telling you it is better if you see it yourself. You will understand better"
I nodded my head as the both of us went in opposite direction to undress and get into our wolf forms, tying our clothes to our legs to wear later on.
"Show it to me" I said as external memories that I knew were his flowed into my mind in a rush leaving me a bit unsteady on the feet.
Sam's memories Begin (Sam's POV)-
"Samuel" purred a voice making me turn and look in the direction from where it was coming as I stood nearly a mile away from where the main party was located with people some known some unknown drenched in booze dancing to the loud tunes playing.
Why was I here? I still had no answer to that. I had not planned to come to this ridiculous excuse of a party but somehow my feet had led me here. I could have been running the woods at my own free will instead or even trying to convince Leah that I still loved her at this point of time but here I was, for what reason I had no idea of.
"Emily" I said in a monotone as she approached from the other side, coming and standing opposite me with a well placed smirk on her face "What are you doing here in La Push?"
I tightly held both my hands together in an attempt to not pull her into my arms which my wolf was currently planning of doing. I even contemplated the idea of stopping to breathe for a minute or two to avoid taking in her scent that the wolf found mind blowing and addictive but then decided against it as it is never a good idea to hold your breath as I had learnt from a disastrous childhood experience that still attempted to give me nightmares and the wolf would just have to learn to desensitize to it.
She shrugged in answer "I was just remembering you"
That explained it, why the wolf was so hell bent on coming in this direction. He could probably feel her calling to him.
"Oh why" I asked disinterestedly waiting for her to get bored of the conversation and get going from here.
"I think you know exactly why" she blushed, a gesture that threatened to make my insides melt but I somehow controlled myself coughing a bit out of discomfort.
"You know I have always liked you and wanted you" she said her voice sounding oh so genuine that the words spoken were all sounding secondary now "I was so jealous that Leah got you and I did not when I was a much better choice for you. She is rude and unapproachable and not at all homely and sweet like you deserve, like your wife and your children's mother should be but then again she got what she deserved in the end" she laughed, her voice sounding like the ringing of a million bells all together in perfect harmony.
I could feel my thoughts being clouded and my judgment wavering but I ignored it. This was Emily, my Emily, whatever she said was true and perfect just like her.
"And I got what I deserved in life" she said coming closer to me and wrapping her slender arms around my waist making me look into her eyes "I love you Sam. I have loved you for a while now. I am so happy that you are mine, finally. I have waited so long for you to get rid of her and look at me. All those boys were just a distraction to try to forget you but nothing ever worked and now I know why"
I smiled as I tightened my grip on her with her kissing me lightly on the chest. She loved me and waited for me.
"Won't you say that you love me?" she said biting her lip in slight sadness and doubt making me frown in anger at her sadness. She was not supposed to be sad, ever.
Did I love her? I tried to remember for the life of me but could not. Why couldn't I remember anything other than Emily right now?
I took a look at her again. Her russet skin that glowed, her long straight mid black length hair and almond shaped brown eyes that were perfect and so very innocent and her smile that could light up a building.
Yes, I probably did love her
I nodded my head as she pouted.
"I want you to say it to me" she said as I instantly complied not willing to keep her upset for any longer than a second.
"I love you" I said the words feeling wrong as it left my mouth but still so right in the periphery of my muddledbrain.
A huge grin made its way on her face as she looked into my eyes, the love she felt for me perfectly visible in them.
"Won't you kiss me Sam?" she said blinking her eyes once hypnotizing me with her beautiful simplicity.
"C'mere" I said pulling her to me as close as it was possible to as our lips met in a heated exchange of passion and love. I had kissed many times before but nothing could ever compare to this in life. She tasted like chocolate, my favorite chocolate that I could eat anytime and in any quantity and I just could not stop myself from relishing on it as I refused to let her away from me for even a second now.
Suddenly I smelled a scent I recognized vaguely enough and like a curtain was all of a sudden raised I pulled apart, my eyes widening as I came back to reality, everything that happened till now feeling like a ridiculous alcohol induced haze though I had not drunk even a sip.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I shouted pushing her away from me. What was I doing? Why was I kissing her? What had just happened to me?
"You told me you loved me. You wanted to kiss me" she protested trying to get close to me again.
"No I love Leah. I don't even like you forget loving you" I said spitting the words out
"Look into my eyes and say this" she said angrily and I could even detect a bit of ill willed hope in her tone.
"No" I said loud and clear something within me telling me not to do as she said. It was a trap it said.
"But Samuel" she whined in her perfect voice….
"No" I said firmly stopping myself in my place. I had to get away from this. She was somehow clouding my mind and making me say and do things that I did not want to do.
"Get away from me and stay away from me" I said harshly as I took into the opposite direction running back to Forks. I needed Leah near me. I needed my home and my heart with me.
Sam's memories End.
"Oh" I said too confused and disoriented by what I had just seen in Sam's mind. Was something like this even possible? I could feel that she had tricked him but how was the question here.
"Yeah oh" he repeated equally sadly and upset by this turn of events.
"How do you think she did that though?" I asked finally "She was somehow clouding your thoughts I assume from what I got on seeing your memories"
He nodded his head mentally as well as physically "Yeah when I was with her, the only thing I could think about was her and how to keep her happy. Whatever made her happy was what I agreed on no matter what I wanted in life"
"Sounds like this is something to do with the imprint" I stated my doubt rather than asked
"That is the closest that I could come up to" he said agreeing "It was in her eyes though. Every time I looked into her eyes it felt like I was losing myself and becoming something else. Almost like she was hypnotizing me and commanding me to be her Samuel" He scoffed in disgust
"Crap" I asked in shock and bewilderment "Does an imprint have that much power over the wolf?"
I had not felt any such hypnotizing power on me when I had spoken to Paul these past few times and internally I was even assured that Paul would never misuse such an intense power if he were to know of the imprint. He was just not the kind to do so but then again this was Emily Young who had admitted to being in love with her sister's boyfriend for all these years all the while wishing the worst for the same cousin and so maybe she could be using it to her advantage.
He nodded his head "Maybe. But I have never read of something like this in our legends"
"I guess we need to research more on this" I agreed with him "But what now? You know Emily can use this to her advantage and the chances are high that she will in the future too"
He sighed "Stay away from her till I find out a way out of this" "But Bella, please talk to Leah. I need to explain it to her that it did not mean anything with Emily. She tricked me though I don't even know how I will explain it to her without being able to tell her the truth"
I nodded my head in agreement. It was surely going to be tough for Sam and Leah to move past this incident without Leah knowing of Emily's deception.
"I will try talking to her" I said softly "But Sam I cannot guarantee if she will be willing to listen. It is not my place to meddle and…"
He interrupted me "If she will listen to someone it is you. I know Leah, I know she is stubborn and strong headed but I also know that she adores you and knows that you only want her best and will not steer her wrong"
I gave him a silent nod "I should get going. It has been a long day. You too should get some rest and anyways Levi's patrol should be starting anytime now so you can get off patrolling till tomorrow morning"
"Okay boss" he said with a chuckle as I turned to glare at him. He knew that I did not like being called 'boss' as I was no boss but still at times he insisted on using it, if only it was to annoy me.
He once again chuckled playfully, his mood lightening a bit after our talk, as he made his way towards Forks with me phasing back in the coverage of the trees and going inside the house.
X-X-X-X-X-X
"Bella, I really am in no mood for this" said Leah sighing, repeating her earlier spoken words as she sat on the seat beside mine in my truck "I don't even feel that good. I think I will just go back"
"No" I protested loudly and she looked at me taken aback, surprised at my loud scream "I mean you should come. You have hardly left the house in these past four days and spending time with the others will do good for you?" I questioned rather that stated in my nervousness of making her agree to come with me.
"You said this the last time too" she whispered under her breath and I instantly became quiet, a bit ashamed of myself. I knew she was talking of coming to the party as I was the one to convince her to come and indirectly I was the one who had made it possible for Emily to deceive Sam and enact the entire scene in front of Leah. So a big part of it was my fault too even if it was unintentional and not even thought of in my wildest dream.
"Hey" she said making me look at her "It is not your fault in whatever twisted way you are thinking it is. You are not responsible for Sam kissing Emily and me catching them both. They both are to blame not you. Your intentions were good. You only wanted me to catch a break. No one could have imagined something like this would happen"
I nodded my head, glad that she did not blame me for this as I turned to look ahead and drive to my destination, Kim's house and she went back to her earlier stance of looking outside the window.
"So what movie are we seeing?" she asked excitedly a minute later though I could tell that majority of the excitement was fake and just a cover but then again at least she was trying.
I mumbled the answer as I pondered over how we had reached to this point. After my talk with Sam where I had assured him that I would try talking to Leah whose sadness had now turned to anger and disgust and even more questions regarding what she considered Sam and Emily's backstabbing, I had thought that the job would be easy. I would just have to go and talk to her, try to convince her enough to just listen to what Sam had to say to explain himself but then Leah had stopped me in the tracks with her one statement that I had nothing to argue against leaving me on the crossroads completely stumbled.
"Bella, there is no explanation that can justify cheating in this world. It has no explanation, never had and never will have. Neither can it be justified nor can it be considered an excuse for someone else's behavior. The person who chooses to cheat is well aware of their action and needs to consider the consequences that come with the act too"
And so that was that. After that Leah had temporarily moved into the guest room in our house as she wanted some time away from Sam to think and calm herself down and a distraught Sam had persuaded me once again to give it a try. He needed to talk to Leah and she was just not ready to come in front of him, questions such as was Sam and Emily's kiss a onetime thing or had it happened before and if yes, till what extent was their 'intimacy' and since when swirling through her mind but she was too scared to confront these demons that were still hidden in the closet.
Now under normal circumstances I would have refused as I strongly believed that there was no place for the interference of a third in a relationship of two but considering special circumstances call for special measures and this was definitely one of those special circumstances I had agreed to give it one try from my side to get them to talk.
A convenient movie night invitation by Kim, okay confession I was the one to force her to throw it in the first place, had given us this chance and so here we were, on the way to her house where Sam would also be there unknown to Leah, invited by Kim as her guest giving the other guests no say in who she called and did not call at her place.
Rather convenient isn't it?
We covered the rest of the distance in silence and soon I parked outside Kim's house, getting out and grabbing the box of chocolate chip muffins I had made for Kim's brother Max who had recently turned twelve and was completely in love with my baking and insisted on it every time he saw me. I had also made another box especially for the boys tonight as I knew very well that poor Max would not get a bite of his muffins if left alone with the other bottomless pits that were to be here tonight.
"Hey" said Jared as he opened the door, wearing an apron filled with pink and purple flowers which literally shouted that it belonged to Kim, making me giggle as I took his appearance in.
"Ha ha, laugh all you want" he said sarcastically "But you will definitely not be laughing when you taste my mini prosciutto, olive and fennel pizza bites with drizzled honey and Bacon Jalapeno popcorn"
I hid my laugh with my hand knowing well that no matter the names, his made food would really be to wait for. Though I had never actually tried it, Kim had often told me that she lucked out as Jared was brilliance in the kitchen and even simple dishes such as sandwiches turned out to be something completely different and delicious when it came to him. I also knew that he wanted to open his own restaurant in La Push after graduating and was currently trying to collect enough for financing all the costs that would occur.
"Hey Leah" he said turning to look at her as she stood by me looking nervous and hesitant "It is good to see you"
She nodded her head with a small smile "Yea same here"
He let us enter the house and I quickly walked to the kitchen to drop in the muffins and where Kim was making some nachos for the rest of us, most of who would be here soon enough.
"Need some help" I asked as I put the muffins on the counter
She shrugged "Nah it is all done. You know Jared and how particular he is when it comes to his domain, the kitchen. He hardly lets me to do anything with the fear that I will ruin his 'masterpiece'"
I laughed at the annoyed and frustrated expression on her face.
"So all done" I confirmed asking of the plan that the both of us had so carefully planned and was now waiting to be orchestrated.
She nodded her head with a glint of amusement on her face "Yup Sam will be here soon and after that it is on them both"
I sighed as I agreed with her. Kim, bless her had not asked any questions when I had told her of what had happened between Sam and Leah, it was a misunderstanding that was just not getting the chance to be cleared out and she had instantly agreed in helping me out in whatever way we could to arrange their meeting.
We soon left the kitchen with a plate of nachos and caramel popcorn in our hands only to see that Jared and Leah were sitting and talking on the couch while even Embry and Jacob had arrived in our absence.
I sat next to Jacob talking to him about anything and nothing in particular when the doorbell rang and Kim went to answer it.
"You" she said with a confused, unable to figure out expression on her face as she looked at whoever was outside the door "Jared sweetie, could you come here for a minute" she said in an overly sweet voice in the next sentence, that definitely meant trouble.
"Uh oh someone's in trouble" Jake mocked with a laugh only to receive a middle finger in return from Jared who quickly left to go by Kim's side.
They talked for a few minutes in whispers with me tuning out knowing that if they were whispering it was not for our ears and soon Kim opened the door widely for this particular guest.
"Come in Paul" said Jared patting him on the back in a friendly gesture, making me look at them like a deer in the headlights as he was definitely not someone I had expected to see here with him specifically not being on Kim's favorites list and a big part of me was even not ready to see him yet.
Paul entered the living room where the rest of us sat with his eyes raised, an expression of amusement clearly shown on his face and sat next to Embry on the couch quick to take a bite of the nachos that were placed in front of him.
I could feel it that his eyes were on me and he wanted me to look back at him but I stubbornly refused to meet his eyes at this point of time. I was still conflicted, majorly upset and angry on what he had told me earlier of how he had dumped me, dumped our friendship because one of his exes who he thought he was in love with asked him to stop talking to me as she was jealous of our friendship. It was humiliating to be honest of how less he thought of our friendship. How easy it was for him to move on and pretend like what we shared was nothing of importance. I had always thought that I was as important in his life as he was in mine but maybe I had been wrong all these years. Was I that easy to replace? And this feeling of hurt was difficult to get past… at least at this point of time when the wounds were still fresh.
Yes, he was my imprint. Yes, I did probably still feel something for him that had lasted all these years ever since I knew what it meant to like someone, what it meant to desire to be with someone, what it meant to wish to be in someone's thoughts just like they were in yours but was that enough in life. Was respect nothing?
I didn't know if it was overreaction or not but at this point of time I felt like he had not or did not respect me enough to take into consideration of my feelings and how hurt I had been because of his actions and that hurt more than I wished to put in words…
I needed time to think, to accept his reasons for breaking our friendship if I could ever move past this. Maybe I could in the future but it would definitely require time and even a bit of effort from his side. I needed to be sure that he did not think of me as someone he could easily leave when it did not suit him anymore. I wanted to be his priority not his damn option and I was definitely clear on this.
"Ladies your wish has been fulfilled, here I am" said a jovial Quil as he entered the living room with a grin on his face, lightening the stressful mood a bit and making me also smile despite my thoughts that were heavy and gloomy at the moment.
"No one understands sheer brilliance these days" he said with a deep sigh of regret as he sat on the couch munching on the popcorn making the rest of us giggle and chuckle at his childish antics.
"Can we start?" asked Leah looking at Kim, asking if we could start the movie now that most of us were here.
"Yeah just one last guest we are waiting on" said Kim as the door bell rang and I crossed my fingers knowing exactly who was on the other side. I hoped and prayed that everything would be okay today and the problems between Sam and Leah would be solved by the end of tonight.
Jared went to open the door and Sam entered the room just as Leah stiffened on the couch, her face a mask of impassiveness.
"Sam" she muttered in a voice that was cold and distant
"I invited him. I hope that is not a problem" said Kim acting all innocent as Leah shook her head reluctantly.
Ignoring the tense environment around us, Sam sat down and Kim put on the movie for us to begin watching. Soon the rest of us engrossed ourselves in the screen laughing and sighing wherever required. The silence was welcome and even the few comments Quil and Jacob passed only lightened the tension around us with Leah refusing to even look at Sam and Paul continuously staring at me trying to guilt me into looking at him which only resulted in Sam growling at him and Leah getting upset because of Sam's changed nature and the ability to now remove what she considered 'uncivilized animal like sounds'.
"I will just be back" said Leah mid movie as she got up from her seat and walked towards the bathroom.
"Oh. I have to take this call" stumbled Sam over his words, pretending to look at his phone as he too exited the room not even a minute later leaving the rest of us to watch the movie.
"Hey… the popcorn is over" said Embry with a sad expression on his face a few minutes later, almost like the world was coming to an end, showing us the now empty tub.
"Give it to me. I will refill it" I said with a laugh as I took the tub from him and walked towards the kitchen to refill the popcorn.
I was humming to myself a tune I had heard in the morning on the radio and was now constantly on my mind when I heard a sound behind me making me turn all of sudden.
"Bella, can we talk" asked Paul as he stood at the door of the kitchen.