DISCLAIMER: All characters in this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

+ HINATA +

PASSIVE YOU, AGGRESSIVE ME

Only Shadows – Sara Bareilles

Okay.

Sure.

I may be slightly/somewhat/sort of attracted to Uchiha Sasuke.

So what? Who cares? Right?

I'll just be one of the many other people who find him attractive. No big deal. Right? I'm just human, after all. Just a seventeen-year-old girl. We teenage girls can't help but appreciate the attention being showered upon us by someone as handsome as Uchiha Fucking Sasuke. Especially someone like Uchiha Fucking Sasuke.

I mean, have you seen his eyes? Those eyes will make you feel like the only girl in the world. One look from those eyes and all your inhibitions go flying out of the window. Not to mention that ridiculous strut. That stupid smirk. Those damned lips. Holy shit, those lips. I've never been kissed like that. Yeah, sure. He's only the second guy to have kissed me, but the difference between my first kiss and all the kisses I had with Uchiha Sasuke was laughable. With Sen, we kissed only that first time. After that he acted like the perfect gentleman. How wrong I was, of course. That was a really shitty decision I made at fourteen. Now I'm seventeen and am on the verge of making yet another monumentally shitty decision.

Do I have to, though? Aside from the fact that I can't stop thinking about that bastard and I sometimes find myself staring at his lips – staring at him, period – and I keep looking forward to seeing him every day… Shit. I have to make a decision.

Groaning, I slam my forehead against the table. I'm supposed to be studying but here I am. Thinking about this – him. So much for deciding not to fall in love again, huh? I sit up straight. Wait. Who said anything about love? This thing with Uchiha Sasuke has absolutely nothing to do with love. We're just a couple of horny teenagers. He, at least, is horny. Me? I have no idea. Is it even possible for a virgin to be horny? I google it. My face heats up as I read the results page. Okay. I don't have to click on anything. I've read enough. I hastily close the tab. Sometimes (most of the time), I can count more on Google for answers than asking my friends about certain… topics that involve sex. I mean, I can't just ask Kiba and Shino if they know why I feel weird around someone. They're boys. I can't ask Sakura and Ino because they'll know who I'm talking about and I don't want them to start hating me again. Tenten is out of the question, even though she's the perfect person to ask. She's not a virgin anymore, but just thinking that it was my cousin who took it… It's weird. So, yeah. Thanks, Google. I am horny.

It's all Uchiha Sasuke's fault. Everything is his fault. I glare at the plushy sitting on the corner of my desk (I tried to hide it in the closet but I felt bad). It's as if he gave me this plushy so that I have to keep thinking about him. Fucking bastard. He never leaves me alone. He would show up out of nowhere and we would pass by each other on hallways. Weird thing is, he would make sure that our shoulders touch or he would brush against me in a way that would leave me breathless. That's what he would do all day. Like, doesn't he have his own classes to go to? By the time my classes were over and I had to be in the practice room, I'd be a nervous wreck. Of course, I could just leave – the Drama Club president's wrath be damned – but that's where the horny part comes in. My body knows who's waiting in the practice room and it anticipates. It can't wait to taste again what's been teasing it all day. His touch. His taste. The feel of his body close to mine.

"Call me Sasuke and I will stop. I will always stop."

Where the fuck did he come up with that shit? Sometimes I don't even know if I want him to stop whenever I utter his name. Groaning in frustration, I fling myself on the bed.

"Sasuke," I mumble, staring up at the ceiling.

Unbidden, the image of how he smiled that afternoon during the festival comes to mind. My traitorous heart skips a beat at that. Do I like Uchiha Sasuke? No, I don't. Am I attracted to him? Yes, I am. I bury my head under the pillow to scream.

V^^V

I've heard a lot of stories about my mother's parties growing up. I guess the common adjectives used was "inappropriate" and "wild". That's what I heard from my Hyuuga relatives, at least. I've never been. Until tonight.

It's my mother's birthday party and my first time attending a grown-up party. I look around the Ritz-Carlton Tokyo's Grand Ballroom with apprehension. What the fuck am I doing here… The whole over-the-top place is packed with people in 1920s outfits. Apparently, the theme is The Roaring 20s. I don't know what inspired my mother - The Great Gatsby or Downton Abbey. Maybe it's the former. She has a thing for Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm also in a 1920s outfit. Only because my mother dragged me to her stylist this morning. If I had known she was waiting outside my apartment I wouldn't have gone out to get some milk. Fucking shit.

And it seems that she invited everyone - socialites, politicians, celebrities, even the press. Fuck. Why am I here? Sure, I'm her daughter and I'm expected to be here (despite being seventeen, by the way) but why can't we keep doing the awkward birthday dinner we've been doing for years?

"Can't you at least pretend," Mother mutters from the corner of her mouth. She looks stunning, of course. "that you're enjoying yourself?"

She's doing the rounds, welcoming her guests and dragging me along with her. And I'm supposed to pretend like I'm enjoying myself. No one enjoys being paraded around, Mother.

"Oh, Ranmaru-san!" she exclaims as we reach an old man with shrewd eyes. They exchange pleasantries and I can't help but notice how this man's hand lingered on my mother's waist. She finally remembers that I'm right beside her. "This is Hinata, my daughter. Hinata, this is an old friend of mine."

I bow respectfully. "N-nice to m-meet you."

Old friend laughs. "Your little girl doesn't take after you at all."

"Hyuugas." Mother says as a way of explanation.

I probably should feel indignant about that but right now I don't really care. Both sides of my family are equally shitty. I tune out my mother and her old friend's conversation and look around the Grand Ballroom. It's already full of people - some old, some around my age. Father didn't give Hanabi the permission to attend our mother's birthday party. Much to Hanabi's delight. Wish he cared enough about me to also prohibit me from submitting myself to this torture.

I am starting to really hate parties… especially now that the last person I expect to see tonight just walked in. The crowd parts and there he is. Uchiha Fucking Sasuke. It's ridiculous, the way he walked in. It's as though he's doing a runway show and he's The Supermodel. Like everyone else, he's dressed up in the 20s style, but unlike everyone else, Uchiha Sasuke oozes sexuality like it's nobody's business. His hair's slicked back and tied in a ponytail. Is he channeling his inner David Beckham? Hot damn.

Not wanting to be caught staring (like everyone else), I quickly look away. Calm down, Heart. He's just wearing a fancy suit and his hair is styled, big deal. He's still the same asshole.

For the next half hour, Mother has dragged me around the Grand Ballroom and by the time we reach the Uchihas, I'm positive that I'm going to have an anxiety attack soon. Which is not good. I've been doing well, enduring "those looks". To show this weakness in front of him… I don't think I can take it.

"Mikoto-san!" Mother screeches. "Ladies!"

Uchiha Mikoto is surrounded by women who look like your typical stuck-up bitches. Behind them stands Uchiha Sasuke. Why he's hanging out with these women is beyond me. He tries to catch my eyes but I ignore him.

"Happy birthday!" Uchiha Mikoto greets Mother gracefully.

Everything about this Uchiha matriarch is graceful and she is most definitely prettier than my mother. I've seen pictures of Uchiha Fugaku and it is clear that the asshole got his looks from his mother. Too bad he only inherited her looks and nothing else. I wonder how he'd be if he also inherited his mother's pleasing personality…

"Hinata? Hinata?" Mother's sharp voice snaps me back to reality. Everyone's staring at me. Cue instant blushing. "Do excuse my daughter. She does that a lot. I don't know why. Must be a teenager thing."

"Well, being a university student is quite stressful," Uchiha Mikoto says kindly. "I'm sure Hinata-chan has a lot on her mind."

"No, no," Mother dismisses with a wave. "Hinata spaces out a lot. I keep telling her to stop it, but unfortunately she inherited the Hyuuga stubbornness."

"Where is she studying?" asks Bitch No.1 to my mother. She probably thinks I'm incapable of answering her question.

"University of Tokyo," Mother answers. "We are proud, of course. But she was supposed to attend Juilliard."

Oh, fuck.

"The Juilliard School in New York?" someone asks.

"Yes, but she didn't make it. Honestly, I wasn't even surprised. Hinata's so shy. She can't even play in front of me or her father or anyone, really… But still, Juilliard would have been nice. I've always loved New York…"

I turn away as my right eye starts twitching. I press down on it with my fingers to stop it but of course it won't.

"Hinata-chan, are you okay?" someone asks.

With my head turned away, I mumble an excuse and rush toward the open terrace. Thankfully, no one else is here. I sink down into a bench that's located in what seems to be the center of the terrace. Privacy, at last. My eyelid is still twitching, though. Fuck. I should have brought my pills. When was the last time I had an anxiety attack? A few months ago? Yeah, that's right. My graduation party. The entire Hyuuga clan was there so I took a pill before the party started. I should've brought those damn pills. Burying my face in my hands, I give a quiet sob. I was holding out well. I'm so pathetic. Why did Mother have to bring up Juilliard? She made it sound like I was rejected but I never did send my application. I couldn't. I was too scared.

A few moments later, someone sits beside me. I don't have to look up to know who it is. There is only one person here who doesn't understand the concept of personal space. He remains quiet, though. It's weird, but… I can't help but appreciate the gesture. That makes me even more emotional.

I don't know how long we've been sitting here - me crying and him just being quiet. When I finally feel slightly better and the tic has stopped, I raise my head. A white handkerchief immediately materializes in front of me.

"T-t-thank y-you." I mumble, sniffing.

"Your make-up's not ruined," Uchiha Sasuke says.

"It's w-waterproof." My face is probably blotchy, though. I still can't look at him.

Silence reigns once more. It's weirdly soothing. If someone told me that Uchiha Sasuke and I would be sitting together like this - in the middle of a beautiful garden - without animosity, then I would tell them that they've lost their mind. And yeah, I admit that the animosity is coming from me, but still… I wouldn't be like that if Uchiha Sasuke is not an asshole. But right now… at this moment… he's not being an asshole. He's just sitting here quietly as I blow and wipe my runny nose. On his white handkerchief. How fucking crazy is this?

"You like me," I mumble when I'm sure that my face is somewhat presentable again.

"And here I thought you'll keep denying that," he says with amusement.

"You can't like me. I'm too pathetic."

With a smile, he stretches his right arm on the back of the bench. "Yes, you are. You have no self-confidence, a very unattractive trait. You're shy. I prefer aggressive women. You're nice, but you're not nice to me. You seem to like to hang out with other guys. That drives me insane sometimes. You're - "

"Then why are you still trying?" I interrupt 'cause what the hell.

"It's too late to stop now. I like you way too much already."

And then I grab him by the collar and kiss him. For the first time, I've taken the Uchiha Fucking Sasuke by surprise. He freezes up. But just as I'm about to pull away, he grabs me gently by the nape and deepens the kiss. I don't know what made me initiate this kiss in the first place, but all I can think of right now is him. The feel of his hand gently stroking my nape. His other hand caressing my face.

Everything is so perfect in this moment. The two of us under the moonlight. Kind of like those cheesy, over-the-top, cliche romantic scenes in movies. And Sasuke - yes, Sasuke - is very much like a prince charming. He's so sweet and gentle. This, right here, should have been our first kiss.

A sudden rustling sound jolts me out of this trance and I look around in panic.

"Shit, someone saw us," I say in a hushed tone. Whoever is hiding might still be lurking around.

"Don't worry," Sasuke says calmly. "It's dark. There's no way they recognized us."

He reaches out to me but I jump to my feet. "I… I shouldn't be here. We shouldn't be here. We shouldn't be doing this."

"Calm down."

"I can't calm down! The press is here!"

"We don't know for certain if someone really did see us, Hinata," He reasons. "Come here and calm yourself down. You can't go back in there looking so flustered and guilty."

I'm still not appeased.

"I promise I won't touch you… Unless you touch me first, of course."

I feel my face heating up with that reminder. It doesn't help that he sounds so fucking pleased with himself. Smug bastard. I take a deep breath and remain where I am standing.

Sasuke chuckles quietly. "You're not entirely pathetic, you know."

"Aren't you going to give me a speech about self-empowerment or something?"

"Nah, I'm not into that kind of stuff," He gets up and turns to the opposite direction. "You should go back first. Can't have people thinking we've been hanging out here by ourselves. Without chaperone."

With a smirk, he's gone.

V^^V

The party's in full swing by the time I make my re-appearance (Had to drop-by the Ladies' Room first, of course. In case my lipstick is ruined). Not that anyone noticed my absence. I feel more relaxed now that my mother is not dragging me around with her and introducing me to a bunch of strangers. Mother's enjoying her party and having fun and acting like her usual, typical socialite. Meanwhile, I am busy being a wallflower. I would have leaned against the wall, crossed my arms, and pouted like a petulant child if it wasn't for the fear of The Aunts seeing a photograph of me doing exactly that. Being a total loser in this party is a given, but if I misbehave in anyway… Fuck, I really hope that no one saw us earlier. But… I wonder what they would have seen. Did they see a picture-perfect moment? Because that was what it felt like. A perfect little bubble of whatever.

My eyes latch on him once again. Since I've already pretty much embarrassed myself all evening, yes, I've been watching the bastard the moment he walked back in from the balcony twenty minutes ago. And that's the third woman he's asked to dance. And yeah, I'm keeping count. No, I'm not jealous. I just didn't think that he's the dancing type of guy. It would have been better if - given his height - he's awkward, but since the world is fucking unfair, he dances gracefully. He's so graceful, in fact, that each of his dance partners are all starry-eyed afterwards.

Fuck.

Here I am. Standing in a corner. Watching Uchiha Fucking Sasuke's every move like some jealous girlfriend. Well, I am not jealous and I am definitely not his girlfriend. Just because we shared what I thought was a perfect kiss half an hour ago doesn't mean shit. He can totally do whatever the fuck he wants. Or do whoever he wants to fuck. I don't give a shit.

"You look pissed."

I look up and here he is in front of me with that stupid smirk. "Not dancing anymore?"

He inclines his head and studies me for a while. I feel like I'm being scanned. I'm scared of what he might see so I look away. I never could master the Hyuuga Expression.

Uchiha Sasuke's stupid smirk widens even more. "I've reached my real partner."

"I don't dance."

"Shame," he sighs and moves to stand beside me. "I was hoping to show you my moves."

"You didn't seem like the dancing type."

"I'm not. I only dance in family gatherings."

"Then, why?"

"Well, it would have been even more suspicious if I only stick around you all the time. We don't want to give anyone the wrong impression, right?"

"And yet here you are," I mutter, trying to look nonchalant. "I think it's best if you start looking for a new dance partner."

"Maybe later. I'm a little tired," the liar says. He's not even out of breath. "So about that kiss."

I look around in panic. Everyone's busy but some people are throwing furtive glances in our direction. I glare at him. "Shut up. We are not talking about it right now."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "Are we even going to talk about it?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know… I - "

But before I can continue further, my mother steps onto the stage to deliver a speech. "Are you guys having fun?!"

The crowd cheers.

"Words cannot express how grateful I am that you are all here to celebrate my birthday. I feel so loved." She takes a pause and looks to be fighting back tears as everyone says 'aw'. I roll my eyes. These people are so fake. "Especially now that I'm going through another rough time," she pauses again and takes a deep breath. "Santino and I have decided to separate."

Shocked gasps all around. I know, right? She's getting divorced. Again. After just months of being married. Her second husband lasted at least a couple of years. I stop paying attention to my mother's crappy speech. I better get away before anyone hounds me with their sorry and their how do you feel. Fuck that. I am done here. I turn to Uchiha Sasuke.

"Please. Take me away."

December 31, 2019 - Guess who's back, back again… First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wish for us all to have a healthy 2020.

Wow, it's been 3 years. Lots of things happened. I got a job. Lost that job. But thankfully I saved enough money to buy a new laptop. Yay!

I've been stuck on this chapter since 2015 and it was a struggle. It's surely filled with mistakes and grammatical errors so I apologize. But there was this quote from a Youtube vlogger. Forgot her name but she's an American artist and married to a Japanese. They were living in Japan. She has this Etsy store and she sells her comics there. Anyway, she said "Finished is better than perfect." And, wow. That got me. I'm not saying I'm going to produce half-assed work, just that I should stop obsessing over every little thing and just provide my readers with something.

Speaking of readers, I can't even begin to express my heartfelt thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, liked, and followed not just this story but also Life, Unexpected. You guys are the most amazing people. Thank you for all the lovely messages. I am forever grateful.