A/N The wait is over!

We get to see how John's been handling his time back on Earth and the aftermath of the breakup as well as the initial reunion between him and Riles!

Hope you enjoy!

John POV

Two weeks after leaving Atlantis

John sat on the edge of the bed. The lights were on, but they were so dim that they did little to brighten the room. The grey floors and walls didn't help enhance the room either.

He was lucky he guessed, because of his rank he'd been given private quarters.

There was nothing special about them, an American flag hung on one wall and some pictures of the gate hung on another. He assumed this was the room they used for diplomatic stays. There was were no windows and nothing personal in the room to make it John's, except for the duffle bag of his clothes.

He couldn't complain though, most of the other Atlantis military personnel were stuck in cramped dorms a few floors further underground, until they decided what to do with them. There was simply too many of them for the SGC to handle and some of his men had already been shipped out to new details.

No. He reminded himself. They weren't his people anymore. He wasn't the commander of Atlantis. He was just another Air Force officer awaiting orders and he knew no matter where they assigned him, it wouldn't come close to what he'd had.

He expected it wouldn't be long before he got a letter delivered to his door telling him to be ready to deploy within the hour. It wouldn't be the first time. He assumed he'd be given a role within the Stargate programme, but anything could happen.

He sighed and dragged his hands down his face. It was a little after 3am, but he couldn't sleep. He wasn't sure if it was the gate-lag or the gut wrenching pain in his chest that was keeping him awake.

Riles. For what felt like the millionth time he replayed it all in his head. Her words, his reaction. The fact he hadn't even said a final goodbye to her. The look on her face in the gateroom had almost broken him, it had taken him everything to step through the gate knowing it was taking him away from her.

His blood started to boil. Even after two weeks the anger hadn't faded. He hated her for staying, for not giving him any options, for not being here with him. But he hated himself more. For the things he said, the things he didn't say and ultimately for not staying with her.

John abruptly stood up, and ran his hands through his hair. He couldn't stand sitting alone in this room thinking about her. How he'd never see her again.

Throwing open his door, he stormed out into the hall, not caring about the slam it made as it hit the wall.

He didn't know exactly where he was going, but he kept walking, hoping to clear his head. "Hey Colonel!" A familiar voice called out to him.

John glanced over his shoulder to see Lorne walking up behind him. "Oh...Major."

"Can't sleep?" Lorne jogged to catch up to him.

John winced. "Not exactly."

"I was heading to grab a drink if you want to join." He gestured up ahead of him toward the Officer's mess.

John raised an eyebrow but nodded. Lorne was a good guy, John couldn't have asked for a better second in command. They'd struck up a good working friendship, but they'd hardly spent time together outside of duties.

Lorne led the way into the mess, the smell of stale coffee hit the back of John's throat causing him to stop in his tracks. "Y'know, i'm not sure i can handle day old coffee."

Lorne carried on ahead towards the main serving counter. "I always forget that you were never based here before joining Atlantis." He had a knowing smirk plastered on his face. No one else was in the mess, but instead of heading to the stale pots of coffee, Lorne slipped around the back of the serving area and knelt down. Curious John stepped forward, leaning to try to see what he was doing. He pulled back as Lorne reappeared with a pack of beers in his hand.

John nodded, impressed. "Now that I could do with."

Lorne chuckled and handed him a couple of cans. They walked over to a table in the back, pulling out the chairs to sit down. "The mess staff keep these back here for when you've come back from a particularly rough mission- i think we deserve this." He pulled on the tab and took a big gulp.

John opened his and followed suit. The beer felt cool running down his throat. He placed the can back down on the table and ran his thumb over the condensation on the outside of the can. "How are you doing. Really..." the question caught John off-guard. He looked up to see Lorne narrowing his eyes at him, watching his expression.

"I mean it sucks. You know that."

Lorne bobbed his head. "Probably more than you know." He took another sip. "I can't say it surprised me when she told me she was staying."John felt his whole body tense, he couldn't look up. Lorne shook the can in his hand. "this might help take the edge off, but it won't stop what you're feeling."

John tilted his head back draining his can and opened another. He knew he shouldn't ask, he should stand up and go back to his room. But he couldn't help it. "And what does?" It must've have been the lack of sleep messing with his brain. So much had happened between him and Riles, he'd almost forgotten that she'd been Lorne's girlfriend long before she'd been his.

The corner of Lorne's mouth twisted up slightly. "Honestly..." he tapped his fingers against his can. "You're not going to get over her." John eyes shifted uncomfortably to Lorne's. "You'll spend the rest of your life missing her, she's just that kind of girl." His fingers tensed and the can started crushing under the pressure. "But you'll learn to live with it. Because even though it stings like a bitch, it was worth it for the short time you had her."

That's when John realised. He could see the smallest hint of resentment, of bitterness in Lorne's face. It wasn't a coincidence that Lorne had been apart of the rescue team two years ago, he'd come for her. But she'd moved on, and although he'd made his peace with her, Lorne was telling him exactly how he'd felt when he'd realised they'd never be together.

The room suddenly felt cold, John had to repress a shudder. "I really should try and get some sleep." He took a large gulp of the beer and moved to stand up. "Thanks for the beer."

"Goodnight Colonel." Lorne lifted his beer up in the air.

He forced his legs to move. He couldn't go back to his room. Not after that. John scowled, draining the rest of his beer and threw the can into the nearest bin.

Soon enough he found himself standing in front of the doors for the control room. He wasn't even sure how he'd managed to get there. Even from outside he could hear voices, they sounded like they were coming in through a monitor. John hesitated for a moment, he wasn't sure if he even still had clearance to enter the control room, but he didn't care. He climbed the stairs to see O'Neill standing talking at a monitor with Richard Woolsey on it.

His heart clenched, Woolsey was checking in from Atlantis. John felt like he should leave, he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear this. "Ah Sheppard." O'Neill was looking over his shoulder and gestured for him to join him. "Woolsey was just finishing up. Apparently the Ancient's are very happy to be home and that's about it." O'Neill summarised, his face clearly unimpressed.

Woolsey opened and closed his mouth. "Negotiations are progressing, albeit slowly."

"Right." O'Neill gave on the technicians the cut signal. "Later." And the monitor went dark. John was still staring at it, he had just been able to catch a glimpse of the city in the background. "Sheppard." O'Neill drew him out of his day dream. "Follow me." He cocked his head towards the briefing room upstairs. John followed wordlessly up stairs and took a seat in one of the black chairs, facing the General. "Now, you're probably wondering why you haven't been re-assigned just yet."

John pulled his shoulders down and shuffled in his chair. "Yes sir."

"Well, we've been going back and forth about this. But decision has been made. We want you to lead SG-4."

John blinked, he wouldn't be leaving the SGC. "Thank you sir."

O'Neill smiled. "Try get some sleep. Your official orders will be here in the morning, then we'll be able to set you up with more permanent housing."

John gave him a hollow smile. "Yes sir." Then he stood up and walked out the door back to his quarters.

He couldn't decide if this was what he wanted. Of course he didn't want to give up going through the gate. But everything here reminded him of her. Even his room and clothes somehow still smelled like her.

John had gone through his fair share of breakups - even a divorce. But he'd always been able to see the end coming. Nancyhad been frustrated for months that he was never home, and could never tell her where he was. The last few months of their marriage they'd barely spoken to each other and even though it hurt, he couldn't say he was surprised when she'd told him she was leaving. With Riles, he should have seen it. He knew her better than anyone, at least he thought he did.

He thought back to Lorne's words. Maybe he was right.

Sighing he sat back down onto his bed, pulling his shirt off and throwing it at his dufflebag. He was about to unbuckle his belt, when a small metal rattle stopped him as his shirt hit the bag. He couldn't think of anything inside that could be responsible. Curious, he stood up and picked up the bag, giving it a shake. Again he heard the soft clicking of metal.

Tipping the bag over, he emptied the contents of it onto the bed. More clothes fell out along with a silver set of dog tags. His stomach lurched as he delicately picked up the tags, already knowing what he'd find engraved onto them.

Capt. Alice Riley

A-

12-687-295

He read the engraving over and over again. A swell of emotions surged within him; anger, grief, regret and sadness. Clenching his fist around the tags he launched them at the wall, letting out a frustrated shout.

How could she do this? After everything they'd been through, she'd said she couldn't see a future with him. It felt like he was missing something, some crucial piece of the puzzle. The reason she'd had that anxiety attack back in the restaurant, the reason she'd been trying to pull herself away from him. He didn't understand.

But he couldn't let what Lorne said be true. He might never get the closure he needed, the answers why. So he had to let her go, or it was going to break him.

Two months later

John sat on a bed in the infirmary, his team had just visited one of the villages that had been recovering from the Prior's plague. As protocol, his team now had to report in for standard medical screenings.

General Landry had been kind enough to allow John to pick his own teammates, but so far he'd burned through the entire candidate pool and still wasn't happy. They either lacked training, were too ruthless or just plain boring. John knew the General was losing patience and soon enough he'd be assigned a team whether he approved of them or not.

"What we in for today then, eh?" Beckett's soft Scottish voice sounded behind him.

"Just the usual, but I was thinking a bit more off the top this time." He smiled sarcastically at the Doc and patted the top of his head.

Beckett smirked and just shook his head slightly and looked down at his chart. "Sorry Colonel, I'm not brave enough to touch that mop of yours."

"Heyyy…" John mock protested.

"Shall we just stick to the routine tests this time?" Beckett raised an eyebrow at his humour.

John just shrugged and his eyes drifted around the infirmary. Beckett was one of the few former expedition members that he saw on a regular basis, Lorne had been reassigned as leader of SG-6 and Rodney had left to head up his own research at Area 51, though they still spoke every other day.

The SGC ran like a well oiled clocked, everyone here had been here and doing this for years now. The biggest difference he found between the operations of the two bases, was that at the end of the day, everyone packed up and left the base. Returning to their normal day to day lives outside of the program. It had been a shock not to be living, breathing and working alongside non-stop with his colleagues. John found himself missing his daily lunches with Ronon, and his sparring sessions with Teyla. Hell, he even missed kicking Rodney's ass at chess.

John had been provided with military housing outside of the base, a small two bedroom flat in the outskirts of the town. However, John spent as little time there as possible. Outside of Rodney, Beckett and to some degree Lorne, he didn't have any friends. Not that he was looking for any, he'd never been good at personal relationships so keeping the amount he had to a minimum suited him just fine.

Colonel Mitchell, leader of SG-1, seemed like a good man and had invited John to join him and SG-1 occasionally when they were hanging out. But hanging around such a close knit team just reminded him of what he'd lost, so he'd politely declined.

The infirmary was quiet, Doctor Lam was was checking over one of his other team members but otherwise nurses, mulled about checking equipment and writing reports. One pretty blonde nurse kept glancing over at John, he'd noticed her in here before, her name was Sasha. She always tried to make sure she was the one treating him, or if, like this time, someone else had beaten her to it, she'd always stop him for a quick chat before he left.

His hand drifted over to his pocket, dipping his fingers inside to feel the cool metal of Riles' dog tags. At first he'd been reluctant to ever look at them, he'd even tried to throw them away. But every time, he'd wake up in the middle of the night fish them out of the bin and put them back on his nightstand. And every morning he'd put them into his pocket, carrying them with him on every mission.

He'd told himself he'd moved on, that her absence didn't haunt him anymore. So he'd encouraged Sasha's attraction, returning her gazes, always indulging her small talk. Realistically she probably expected him to ask her put, but that wasn't going to happen. He wasn't really the type to have just a casual relationship, at least he had to feel some connection towards the woman. Which in this case he felt nothing. All his mind would think about was Riles. How she was millions of miles away and the likelihood of seeing her again slim.

"Alright. You're all good Colonel." Beckett pulled the blood pressure sleeve of his arm.

John jumped down off the bed and clapped Beckett on the shoulder, before shrugging his jacket back on. "Thanks Doc."

Today, he didn't stop to talk to Sasha. Instead he headed straight for the elevator, craving to get in his car and just drive. Once again he reminded himself of the pain Riles' had caused him. He owed her nothing, and it was time for him to get that into his head. She didn't want him.

Five months later

John stepped through the Gate he had Wallace leaning on his shoulder, grunting in pain. "Get your damned weight off your foot, you'll be fine." John tried not to roll his eyes. He'd been in a bad mood the moment he'd woken up this morning and this mission had done nothing to lift his spirit.

As soon as he reached the bottom of the ramp the medics appeared and took Wallace off him. About time, he thought.

General Landry walked out from the corridor. "Tell me you didn't engage the Ori, Colonel."

"We didn't engage the Ori, sir." John twisted around to gesture to another member of his team behind him. "Bambus here was inspecting some curious fauna when he discovered the ground underneath him wasn't stable. He fell twenty feet into a babbling brook." He twisted back and pointed to Wallace, who was now being led away by the medics. "Wallace there was trying to help him get back up when he lost his footing and broke his ankle." John unzipped his tac vest and started heading for the armoury.

Landry followed him. "I see."

"Never thought I'd miss Rodney McKay being a member of my team!" John quipped sarcastically.

Landry chuckled. "Well, chemistry doesn't happen overnight. We'll debrief as soon as Wallace is out of the Infirmary." He clapped him on the back and turned back towards the control room.

"Yes, sir." John didn't even bother saluting. The bulkhead to the gateroom was still open. John didn't pause as he heard it dialling in behind him, mostly likely it was just another team checking in.

"Hold on, Colonel. You may get a kick out of this." Landry called back to him. John pivoted around. "This should be General O'Neill on his scheduled check-in from Atlantis."

This was the first he'd heard O'Neill had gone back. "He went back, sir?"

"Woolsey needed a little back-up. Apparently the Ancients find him a bit trying." He chuckled, John gave him a tight smile. "Imagine that!"

John followed a few steps behind Landry, entering the control room just as the gate activated and the monitor came to life.

O'Neill's face filled the screen. "General!" He said cheerily.

"General!" Landry greeted back.

O'Neill squinted at the screen. "Is that Sheppard there with you?"

John swallowed. "Yes, sir."

Then Richard Woolsey appeared on the screen. "Talks are proceeding at an acceptable pace; but the real news is that the Pegasus Replicators are heading back to Atlantis to make another run at the city."

John felt his heart jump. "They are?"

O'Neill made an over exaggerated gesture around him. "No-one here seems to be that worried about it."

Landry frowned. "Why not?"

"They're Ancients!" O'Neill made some more animated gestures.

Woolsey gave O'Neill a side glance and cleared his throat. "Apparently these Replicators have a law in their base code that makes it impossible for them to harm their creators."

John got it. "And they're expecting to find us."

Woolsey had a grim expression. O'Neill focused on John. "According to Helia, they're gonna run into some kinda nasty surprise."

"So you can pass it on to Doctor McKay that if you and he hadn't rescued the Ancients and returned Atlantis to their care ..." Woolsey started.

John bopped his head. "... I'd have lost the city anyway." Though he was sure it wouldn't have come to that.

"Right. Well, we should get back to our talks ... and talks and talks. O'Neill out." O'Neill looked around and then the gate shut down.

John pursed his lips turning to Landry. He wasn't going to miss his chance. "Sir, I'd be happy to talk to you more about these Replicator guys."

"Naah, sounds like they've got everything under control." And he headed up towards his office.

John started at the gate longingly. "Yes, sir ... I guess they do."

He sighed and went through the motions of removing his off-world gear.

Once he'd returned all his gear to the proper place he headed for his room. He lifted his watch, Rodney should be calling any minute. Out of all the Atlantis crew - that had returned to Earth - Rodney was the only one he'd actively kept in touch with. He'd tried to stay in touch with Elizabeth, but she'd dropped off the grid soon after they got back. He assumed she had already been offered a new job and was off negotiating the next Geneva Convention.

John dropped into his office chair, kicking his feet up onto the desk and leaning back. He picked up one of the darts on his desk. He twirled it inbetween his fingers as he waited.

As soon as the phone rang John clicked on the speaker. "Hey Rodney."

"Hey." John didn't need to be there to know Rodney was pouting.

John threw the dart across the room at a dart board he'd stuck on the wall. He missed...badly.

"I hate it here." Rodney moaned.

John threw another dart. "How's that possible?"

"It's true."

"Look, they gave you everything you wanted: your own lab ..."

"Yeah, it's too big."

"... hand-picked assistants ..." he threw another dart.

"Yeah, sycophants, every one of them."

"... even your own choice of projects."

"Well, that's not true." Rodney scoffed.

John grimaced, it was the same assignment he'd been denied. "Well, other than going back to Atlantis."

Rodney sighed. "You know, the truth is, I ..." he trailed off.

John looked at the phone suspiciously. "What?"

"I don't - I don't wanna use the term "lonely," but, uh, there are certain people who ... I miss."

John's stomach clenched, but he tried to ignore it. "Me?"

"You?! You I'm talking to on the phone right now and having dinner with tomorrow, so not so much, but other people - people who I may never see again, Ali-" Rodney stopped. John took in a breath. Rodney stuttered. "Li- Like, even Elizabeth - she hasn't returned any of my calls."

John dropped the last dart. "I know what you mean." He managed to say, he dragged his hand up to rub his face.

Rodney sighed again. "Hey - at least you still get to go offworld with a team of your own."

John let out a harsh laugh. "Oh yeah, the best and the brightest! Alright, see you tomorrow night."

"Yeah, wouldn't miss it. Hey, you know, I ..."

John reached over and hit the end call button. He dropped his feet off the table, allowing them to slam down onto the ground. He groaned, he'd been trying to move on.

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Every day for the last five months he got up and tried to put it past him. Her face, her smell and her laugh. But every night, time after time, she was the starring role in every nightmare.

In the five months they'd been separated he'd heard nothing from her or Teyla and Ronon. Not that he'd expected he would, she was carving a new path. One that didn't involve him. Though his mind couldn't help toying with that uncertainty. His nightmares covered every possible scenario he could imagine; her alone, being culled by the Wraith.

The worst one's weren't graphic though. Last night was particularly bad, he'd seen her next to him in his bed. It had been so real when he'd woken up he reached out to touch her, only to grab at the cold and empty spot next to him.

No one would mention her near him. Lorne hadn't said anything since the night five months ago. John knew why they didn't want to talk about her in front of him, but it was beginning to feel like she never even existed in the first place. The only thing he had to remember her was the pain in his chest.

—-

John put on his jacket, stopping to look at himself in the mirror. He'd changed out of his uniform, as Rodney had told him on more than one occasion it wasn't appropriate dinner wear. He was wearing jeans, a light blue shirt and black blazer.

He grabbed his ID and keys off the side table and grabbed the handle of his door. Pausing to look at the dog tags hanging up next to his keys. Briefly he reached out and brushed his fingers past them. He'd finally stopped taking them with him, but he'd still been unable to throw them away. Sighing he pulled his hand back and headed out the door.

John left the base and got into the taxi that was waiting out front.

When he got to the restaurant he could already see Rodney sat at the table, but what surprised him was seeing Carson and Elizabeth sitting down with him.

John nodded at the waitress and headed straight for the table, putting a smile on his face. "Well isn't this a surprise."

Everyone at the table stood up and greeted him, kisses and hugs were exchanged.

"Sorry a bit of a last minute addition." Rodney lifted his glass up to the table.

A beer already sat in John's setting, Rodney must have ordered ahead for him. John grabbed the bottle and joined the toast.

It wasn't much of a surprise seeing Carson, as he also worked on base at the SGC. But he'd not seen or heard from Elizabeth in months.

The meal overall was pleasant, they caught up on the things they'd been doing - careful about what they said. Until dessert the chat had mostly focused on their new lives, no one mentioned Atlantis.

However, as the sweet cakes were set in front of them, the conversation turned to old friends. "Do you know where most people went?" Rodney took a bite out of his dessert.

"A few of the marines and air force got re-assigned within the programme." John said, looking down at his dessert distastefully.

"Most of the scientists left after we got back. I haven't heard much from them." Rodney offered.

"Guess that's not surprising. What about Woolsey and Teyla any word from them?" Elizabeth hadn't touched her dessert yet.

Everyone looked at John. "Woolsey reports in every week, we've not heard anything from Teyla." A moment of tense silence filled the air. "Y'know who i did see the other day. Lt. Cadmen." He didn't want to talk about Atlantis or Teyla. "You should call her." John tapped his spoon against his plate

The mood switched instantly. Rodney nodded, his mouth full of cake. "Mmm."

Carson's eyes went wide. "Who, Cadman?"

Elizabeth grinned. "You guys did make a cute couple."

Carson shook his head. "It didn't work out. May have something to do with our first kiss being through Rodney!" He glared at Rodney accusingly.

A sour look twisted Rodney's face. "Oh, I thought we made a solemn vow never to speak of that again!"

John grinned at the memory. Carson gave Rodney a sly smile. "I remember no such thing!"

Elizabeth chuckled and looked down at her wrist. "You know what? It's getting late."

John raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you sleep?"

"Since I got back. I've got a lot of catching up to do. But it's been lovely seeing all of you again." She put a hand on Carson's arm. "Thank you for getting me out."

John lifted his bottle. "No, we should thank you. You're taking us to dinner, right?"

Elizabeth stood up. "Cheeky!"

Before he could retort his phone started ringing, buzzing against the table. John narrowed his eyes and sae the number was blocked. "Sheppard."

Beside him Rodney's and Elizabeth's phone started ringing. They exchanged looks and answered theirs.

"Colonel. Please report back to base immediately there is a situation developing. It's Atlantis." John felt his face pale at the man's words.

"I'll be right there." He shut the phone.

"I didn't bring my bloody cellphone with me. What's happening?" Carson looked anxiously between them.

"We need to go." He was on his feet and heading out of the restaurant.

It took them about 20 minutes to get back and clear base security. They headed straight for the briefing room, Landry was sat waiting for them.

"We got this data burst about twenty minutes ago." He activated a remote control and a recording begins to play on the wall screen. General O'Neill appeared on the screen, broadcasting from Atlantis' Control Room. The recording is poor and filled with static and there are several moments when the image died completely.

"Atlantis is under attack from Replicators. Somehow they figured out how to override their programming. The Ancients were taken off guard and have lost most of the city already." O'Neill yelled into the camera.

Woolsey, standing behind him, turned to something off camera and fired a pistol at it several times. John felt himself twitch at each shot. His fingers gripped the arm of the chair.

"Request immediate evacuation!" O'Neill looked over his shoulder in the direction Woolsey had been firing.

"They're coming!"

Then the video ended leaving a black screen. "They never made it to the Gate." His face was grim. "I was informed they had a law written into their base code that made it impossible for them to harm the Ancients. How the hell did this happen?"

Elizabeth and John both leaned forward on their chairs over to Rodney. Rodney was fidgeting nervously. "It is remotely possible that in trying to rewrite Niam's base code, Alice and I...we may have opened the door for them to make other changes."

"You did this?!"

Elizabeth glanced between them. "At the time we thought it was the only possible way to save the city."

John held his hand up. "How it happened doesn't matter. They may have changed it on their own. The question is: how do we fix it?"

Landry looked like he had more he wanted to say to Rodney, but he took in a breath and focused on John. "That's why I called you in. I have my orders. The Daedalus is already on the way. Now, what I need from you is ..." He clicked his remote control again and a schematic of Atlantis appears on the screen. "... what's the best way to get a nuke past the shield?"

John couldn't believe it.

Carson's mouth was open. "Well, I have no idea."

Landry didn't even glance over to him. "I didn't call you in, Doctor."

"You're going to use nuclear weapons on Atlantis?" Elizabeth was just as shocked.

"It's the gateway to Earth." Landry said simply.

Rodney threw his hands towards the gate. "And we have an iris!"

"Yes, we do, but thanks to your Intergalactic Gate Bridge, all they have to do is rewrite your macro and they can come out anywhere in the Milky Way."

"Yeah, but those macros are very complicated."

Landry slammed his hand down on the table, making Rodney jump. "They are very complicated, Doctor McKay. They just rewrote their own damned base code! I think they can handle it."

John swallowed. "Sir, General O'Neill and Woolsey may still be alive. Now, I know the city like the back of my hand. Just give me sixty marines and some of Colonel Carter's new, um ..." he clicked his fingers at Rodney.

" ... Anti-Replicator weapons."

"Yeah, those things."

Landry shook his head. "I'm sorry, Colonel. I have standing orders. They happen to be General O'Neill's standing orders. The Daedalus will be there in a little under four days. Now, how do I get a nuke past their shield?"

—

John was filled with dread, his mind was working through a million different scenarios. If the replicators found out about Earth it would be bad, but more immediate, what would they do if they found out about Riles.

The replicators had a score to settle with his team, Rodney and Riles most of all.

John sat in his office chair, barely listening to the conversations around.

Carson paced the room. "Now, those Replicator thingamyjiggies you're talkin' about ..."

John grimaced. "Let's just call 'em A. ."

"They're energy weapons. They disrupt the link between the nanites' cells. The Replicators literally fall apart when you fire on them." Rodney explained as if it was as common as a smartphone.

John scratched the back of his head. "You know, uh - hypothetically - Teyla and Ronon'd be more than willing to help ... if we asked." He couldn't say her name, but anything he could do - to see her again.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at him, she saw straight through him. But he could see her considering it. "We would need to gate into Atlantis. All they'd need to do to keep us out is activate the Gate's shield."

Rodney sat up straight. "Well, I did write a back door to the shield programme a couple of years ago when Kolya stormed the city, so ... I mean, it could hypothetically let us get into the Gateroom."

Elizabeth smiled. "General Landry was worried about the Replicators rewriting the Bridge macro to gate them somewhere else in the Milky Way. Does that mean you could change the macro - take us somewhere else in Pegasus?"

John shared Elizabeth's smile. "Somewhere like, uh ... just talking here ... the Athosian settlement where Teyla and Ronon are?" Again he couldn't bring her to say her name.

Rodney was on his feet now. "We'd need a Jumper."

"... and some of those A. ." John added.

"... and someone to make sure Landry doesn't close the iris on us." Elizabeth looked between them. "Hypothetically."

John felt his heart rate increasing. A small flare of hope ignited in his chest.

—

The plan came together quicker and easier than John thought possible. Before he knew it he was sat back in the cockpit of the jumper.

"You set?"

Rodney called from the rear compartment, he'd just finished uploading his new macro.

John did a quick check and awakened all the Jumper's systems. "Go for it."

He could hear the gate starting to dial from the hanger. Rodney ran in and the rear door clicked shut.

"OK, they'll be able to get through my hack pretty quickly." Rodney sat behind John.

John was already lifting the jumper off the floor and towards the silo. "It's alright - I don't need much time." He lowered the ship down until he was facing the open wormhole.

"Colonel Sheppard, stand down! That is a direct-"

He was glad he couldn't see the control room, otherwise he may have felt a bit of guilt. Contrary to some people's beliefs he didn't like going against orders. Especially of people he respected. But, John didn't want to hear the end of his sentence. He hit the accelerator and entered the wormhole.

Escaping the SGC had caused John's heart to race in his chest. Now felt like the complete opposite. John twitched anxiously as Rodney tapped on his laptop behind him.

Once again he opened up the long range scanners. He wasn't sure why, it wasn't like the SGC had another Jumper to send through after them, and the Daedalus was still a couple of weeks away from this position. He just needed something to occupy his thoughts.

"My turtles!"

John almost jumped at Carson's outburst. He twisted his head around slowly, narrowing his eyes.

"What?" Elizabeth asked.

"I just bought some wee baby turtles and no-one knows to feed them."

Elizabeth and John exchanged a look. John twisted back around in his seat.

"Well, turtles are pretty hardy. I'm sure they'll be fine." He heard Elizabeth trying to comfort him.

"And they make good soup." John added.

"I figured I'm back for good so I might as well get a pet. I'm allergic to cats and, well, I'm at work too long to be fair to a dog, so I went with turtles. I've probably killed them." Carson continued.

John groaned. "Any time now, McKay!"

"Oh, trust me, I am going as fast as I can!" Rodney replied curtly.

"Poor little buggers."

John frowned at the display. "The Milky Way Gate just activated." He looked over his shoulder at Rodney. "Did you do that?"

John got his answer as Landry's face appeared on the HUD. "Colonel Sheppard. I'm going to assume that you're still at the midway station waiting for Doctor McKay to rewrite his macro. I understand what you're doing, Colonel. Hell, I'll even call it brave." He pulled down his shoulders and tensed his body. "But if you don't turn that ship around immediately and come back to the S.G.C., I'll see to it personally that your career in the military is-"

John slammed his hand down on the dash, shutting down their receiver. Landry's face disappeared. He grimaced and could feel the others staring at him. John just shrugged. "That way I won't know what he was gonna say."

He knew this would most likely be a one way ticket. If they didn't manage to rescue O'Neill and Woolsey or take back Atlantis then he had no plans to return to Earth.

Rodney's console beeped, bringing John out of his thoughts. "OK. OK, I've got it."

John gave everyone a glance. "Alright. Last chance to change our minds." No one moved or said anything. "Alright. Let's do it."

They activated the gate and John took in a steadying breath. After five months he was finally going to see her again. The dog tags he'd managed to quickly grab before leaving suddenly felt heavier in his vest pocket. He wasn't sure if he was excited, nervous or scared.

Out of habit the second they flew through the gate onto New Athos, John cloaked the ship. On the HUD he could see a mass life signs gathered around a settlement about a mile from the gate.

No-one spoke as he landed the Jumper just on the outskirts. "Let's go." He took the small control off the wall and stuffed it into his vest - he didn't want to risk losing the jumper.

Together they walked through the forest and towards the flickering lights of the settlement. John thought his pace would increase as they got closer, but he found each step was harder than the last. Up ahead he could see two people walking together, a man and a woman. John didn't recognise the man, but he'd know her from a mile away - Teyla.

John wasn't sure what he was going to say. A simple hi didn't seem to really suffice, so he said the first thing that came to his head. "That smells great." Teyla turned back in surprise as John, Elizabeth, Carson and Rodney walked out of the trees, smiling at them. "Hope you saved some for us."

Teyla was beaming at them. "John! It's wonderful to see you - all of you!"

"And you." Elizabeth stepped forward to embrace their friend.

John pointed to the pot roasting over the fire. "We missed that - whatever that is."

Teyla laughed at him, as she greeted the others. John kept his hands resting over the back of his gun. When she got to him the smile had faded. "What's going on?" She looked back at the other's as if suddenly realising all of their tense expressions.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?" John didn't want to explain stood out in the open.

Teyla seemed to hesitate a second. "Of course." Then she turned back to the man she'd been walking with, John hadn't even noticed he was still there. Quietly she whispered into his ear. John strained his ears trying to catch her words. Whatever she'd asked him to do, the man didn't look pleased. But he nodded, casting a distrustful look at them and headed towards the gate.

Teyla took in a breath, gesturing towards a small house. "Please. This way."

John followed behind her, holding the cloth door open for the others behind him. He'd almost expected Riles to be waiting in the room with Ronon. But there was no sign of either of them. "Would you like some tea or water?" Teyla fidgeted, she seemed apprehensive. But John thought it was just his imagination.

"No thanks. I'm afraid we're not here for just a reunion." John tensed his jaw. "Where are Ronon and Riles?" It was the first time he's said her name out loud in months. Teyla seemed to pale slightly, now John was sure she was nervous. "Teyla?"

She swallowed. "They should be back soon." John narrowed his eyes, it was obvious she was leaving something out. "Please sit. They shouldn't be too long."

All kinds of scenarios started running through his head. Some of them familiar nightmares he'd seen a thousand times before.

Everyone else moved to join Teyla at the table she'd now sat down at. "John." Elizabeth said softly, a subtle request for him to join them and wait. Patiently.

John swallowed and sat. The others asked questions about Teyla, her people and the state of the galaxy. Teyla did her best to answer, but John could tell some of her replies were carefully guarded - like she didn't want to say too much. About thirty minutes had passed and John was ready to stand up and demand an answer. When the man who'd been walking outside with Teyla came running in. He slowed his pace as he approached the table and leaned down to whisper in her ear. This time it was quiet enough for John to hear, he watched his lips move as he said 'They're back.'

John felt his whole body stiffen. There was no doubt who the man was talking about. Ronon and Riles were back, from where John had no clue. But he was going to find out.

Teyla thanked the man and stood up.

"Maybe if we went for a different approach next time. They already know were coming so we could-"

John heard her voice drifting in from outside, immediately his throat constricted. He heard the flap of the door being pulled back and heavy footsteps entering behind him. But he was frozen on the spot.

"What the- What are you doing here?!" Her voice stammered.

Rodney and Carson were up on their feet rushing to greet the two newcomers. Elizabeth followed a bit slower. But John was still rooted in his seat. His emotions surged in his chest, but he still didn't know how to feel. A warm hand gripped his, he jumped before realising it was Teyla's. She had moved around the table to stand beside him. Giving him a reassuring smile she leaned down to put her mouth next to his ear. "There will be time to figure things out later."

John pursed his lips, she was right. He closed his eyes and forced all the emotions surging through him back into a small recess. Then he stood up and turned around. Rodney was being lifted into the air by a grinning Ronon and Riles was being hugged by Carson.

Seeing her still had the same effect on him as it always did. All reason seemed to exit his brain and all he wanted to do was close the distance between them and kiss her. But he didn't, in fact he could barely move. She hadn't changed much, her hair was longer and she looked a bit thiner, but overall nothing he didn't expect. The biggest surprise was what she was wearing. Riles was there standing greeting his team in a Genii military uniform. "What are you wearing?" He knew it shouldn't have been his first words to her in almost six months, but they'd left his mouth before he could think.

Her posture seemed to stiffen and the joy in her eyes died as she slowly glanced over to look at John. It looked as though she hadn't noticed him until now, and she looked like she'd seen a ghost.

She didn't answer his question as Carson brought her into another tight bear hug. "We've missed you so much lass."

She seemed to wince in pain, as Carson's arms tightened around her. But in the blink of an eye she seemed to regain herself. Her lips pulled up into a smile. "I missed you too, but i don't understand. What are you doing here?" She glanced at everyone except him.

"Yes. I believe it's time you told us." Teyla crossed her arms across her chest. The happy atmosphere created by the reunions vanished.

Elizabeth nodded solemnly, and started explaining what had happened over the past day on Atlantis and Earth. John added in small bits when Elizabeth glanced at him, seemingly wanting to give him a chance to be included.

Rodney started unpacking the Anti-Replicator Guns (ARGs), handing them to Ronon and Riles. "They emit a directional energy beam that disrupts the connection between nanites."

Ronon took the gun suspiciously. "Not what I asked."

"Uh, yes. They work good." Rodney looked like the words had left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Good." Ronon lifted the gun and sights along it. "So you need us because we know our way around the city?" He glanced slyly between John and Riles, though thankfully she didn't seem to notice.

"I need you because you're part of our team." John gave him a glare, telling him silently to drop the issue.

"There's probably hundreds if not thousands of Replicators on Atlantis by now." Riles clicked the magazine out of ARG, nodding in admiration.

"We've got a plan - a good one. I wouldn't ask you to come with us if I didn't think we could do it." John noticed she still wouldn't meet his eye.

"Also, General O'Neill and Richard Woolsey were both on Atlantis when the Replicators attacked. There's a chance they're still alive." Elizabeth added.

"I'll be damned if I'm gonna let a bunch of Replicators take our home away from us. So - you with us?" John glanced at all of them.

Ronon and Riles exchanged a quick glance then turned to Teyla. It was clear Teyla had become the defacto leader in John's absence. Teyla returned their look, then they all smiled at John. He knew they wouldn't refuse, and he knew Riles' smile had nothing to do with him. But he still couldn't help the butterflies that started in his chest when she beamed at him.