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Chapter 31 - Let You Down

NARU

Naru knew he was a slave to his pride, it was one of his biggest weaknesses. He knew he should have ran after Mai when she turned to leave, had he not been physically held down by her dark powers, but when she left he felt it fade. So he should have went - but he didn't.

He really messed this up. A nagging and selfish part of Naru wanted to remind him that she had looked through his wallet. He dismissed those useless excuses because his betrayal to her was far bigger than her snooping around, and he was a damned fool to have left the key here. He was an even bigger fool to have taken it in the first place.

But, when he left four years ago, he just had to make sure she was okay. It bothered him to no end that he wouldn't be able to ensure her safety, since he knew Mai was accident prone and it worried him more than he would allow himself to show.

It didn't help that, halfway across the continent, he could see (and feel) her struggling. It was bad of him not to at least call and tell her it would be okay. Naru thought that she would be able to bounce back because she was a strong person. However, because he truly did not frequently check up on her, Naru found that she did not bounce back. In fact, she had kept spiralling and it worried him that she may one day do something she would regret. That was when Naru had begun planning for the trip back to Japan, had planted a seed to the SPR Board of Directors about this odd case in Kamikawa, which was given to him from a member on the board. He knew it would get him back to Japan but the whole process was taking longer than he had expected.

It wasn't until that one, terrifying, nightmare that he jolted out of bed. Sweating, shaking. Rarely did such things bother Naru, he had forced himself to become neutral to all emotions, but he could not shake the overwhelming feelings of fear. But it was not his fear he was feeling.

That night, he pestered the SPR until they gave him the case out of sheer reluctancy. Then, he booked his flight immediately (and directly) to Japan.

It did not take long for him to find out where she was, especially when John Brown still had connections with her through the church. What he hadn't expected was to end up at the church that the next night, after a nearly fourteen hour flight. He did not sleep, but he did not want to stop until he knew she was safe.

'Lucien, you didn't have to come so early -"

Gods she was beautiful. Naru had seen other woman, had seen many faces during his time on this earth but, by far, hers was unforgettable. It had bothered him in the slightest that this Lucien character was so close to her that he could be the man she needed. But, Naru didn't allow himself the luxury to be jealous because Mai deserved so much better than him.

Seeing her then, standing in the doorway, her beauty was like an arrow to the heart. However, Mai's beauty aside, Naru noticed the circles under her eyes immediately and the way her skin looked pale and dull in this lighting. Then, there were her wrists they were so, so, thin. Was she always that thin?

'You did this to her' Naru thought he heard Gene say. Or maybe that was himself. He knew in that moment just how badly he had let her down, just how badly his pride had destroyed her.

When Naru came back to himself in the current moment, Gene was yelling at him, "I knew you would screw this up! And now I can't even go after her and am stuck with your incompetent ass!"

"Shut up." Naru said, annoyed. "It's not like you've been any more noble than I was."

"If you hadn't left in the first damned place I could have stayed with her, or been there for her."

Naru clenched his jaw. "Can you leave now? I'm sick of hearing your voice."

"Didn't you just hear me?" Gene growled. "I can't."

In that moment, it had only just occurred to the twins that Noll was not holding a mirror, and this link to the living realm was caused from Mai. She merged the two realms them together for a moment without fully realizing the consequences, and without fully putting the two states back the way they were.

For the portal to be left open, it meant any spirit was able to roam the living realm freely, and without energy constraints.

Quickly, Naru rushed to the bedroom looking for something with a strong imprint of Mai on it. He needed to be sure she was okay since the power was linked to her, perhaps something was happening to her for the veil not to be put back.

He grabbed a necklace Naru had recalled seeing her in once during her high school days. It should have enough of her essence on it that he could get a good connection.

Naru clasped at the small, fragile, gold chain and closed his eyes. Trance, as he once taught Mai, was difficult without Gene and he hated to admit it. That power slumbered deep within him and was difficult to touch, let alone awaken.

Slowly, he felt it open for him and he focused on Mai's details, her face flooded his mind. He had once called her attractive and it was true - she was attractive.

Naru felt the connection strengthen as his power began to stir within him. When he felt her, he did not expect to feel pain.

His body clenched, there was a burning sensation that stung at his face. His head was like splintering wood, and it felt like a sharp throb that bite through his whole body. Naru thought she could be asleep, but this darkness didn't feel like sleeping. It felt sluggish and dull, like Mai had been sedated or heavily drugged.

Naru snapped back into himself. "Mai's in danger," he blurted and took out his phone to dial Lin's number. This wasn't good, especially when Mai used her power, as Sara eluded to Gene once. Izanagi (Naru found out the name by Gene, who was told by Sara) could get a direct location on her for the duration she used those powers.

"Where is she?" Gene came over to Naru, "What did you see?"

"He has her," Naru said to both Gene and Lin, who answered the phone on the other line. "Izanagi has Mai and is taking her back to Biei."

It wasn't a sure thing, since he had very limited information due to her current state, but Naru knew this assumption was not that far fetched.

Gene swayed slightly, blinking out of his shocked state. Lin, on the other line, said. "Don't go anywhere. I'm on my way."

"Lin, wait." said Naru, "Before you come here, you need to go to the warehouse and pick up the Lasser Glass."

There was a feminine voice that sauntered into the room at the same time Sara rounded the corner of the door, a knowing smile on her face.

She said, "About that - we have a slight problem."

^.^

NARU

Lin stared at the twins, baffled. Naru knew it had been years since Lin had seen Gene, and not much had changed for Gene, he was immortal in a sense. Naru could also feel that Lin was very uncomfortable being around Sara, who lingered quietly on the sofa.

Lin said, "Let me get this straight: Mai found out you have been spying on her these last four years and then took off?"

"You missed the part where she lowered the veil between the living and the dead, allowing ghosts on the other side to step onto this realm, then she was kidnapped." Gene added, helpfully.

Sara also chipped in. "And the Lasser Glass was taken."

Lin shook his head, sighing. "This can't be happening, there's no such thing as...as realms becoming merged." Naru could hear how difficult it was for Lin to say that out loud because he was right, there was no way this should be happening.

Naru said then looked at Sara. "Has something like this ever happened before? The realms becoming merged like this."

"No, it hasn't," said Sara. "It was cleaner the first time, there were no two realms because Hana and I were both dead. Mai has been a living anchor this entire time, which has upset the balance in the spirit realm."

Gene nodded, "It's true. You won't get this Noll, but there's a council of well-known spirit guardians that take care of the other side. They were not very happy with Mai when they found out she was the anchor."

"I see." Naru eyed Sara, who's blue eyes lifted to his. "And you're certain Izanagi won't harm her?"

"I can't say for certain, but he definitely won't kill her." Sara confirmed, "he'll probably keep her drugged if she doesn't cooperate, or apply pain. I think if she's already sedated, like how you saw her, then that's likely the worst he'll do."

Gene asked, "And the Lasser Glass is gone, you've confirmed it?"

"Of course it's gone." said Sara. "He wouldn't have missed it."

"Shit," Lin hissed. "So he has everything he needs now to anchor the curse?"

Naru crossed his arms, "No. Not everything. There's something he needs even more than Mai."

"Noll," Gene warned and his gaze flickered to Lin. "You can't tell him yet."

"We don't have a choice, Gene." Naru's tone was firm. "Besides, Izanagi already knows, there's no point in not telling Lin now."

"What?" Gene said, watching as Naru turned his dark attention onto Sara.

Lin asked, "What are you two talking about?"

But Naru was going to have to ignore Lin for now because the real truth was about to be exposed. Naru hadn't wanted it to go like this, for the truth to be exposed like this, especially to Lin who he knew would give Naru hell for even considering this. It was supposed to be kept between him, Gene and Sara until the right time, so they had the upper-hand when the time came. It was also going to be difficult to accuse Sara when Naru knew that Gene had come to enjoy Sara's company. When Naru first found out about her sticking around he was instantly suspicious, and now those suspicions were confirmed: she could not be trusted.

Naru said to Sara. "You told Izanagi about the plans we had to trade Gene and I for Mai, didn't you?"

Gene watched quietly as Sara stood up. She looked like a fourteen year-old girl, yet underneath the facade was a spirit that has lived for over a century. Sara was cunning, cruel and unbelievably deceitful, but she was also incredibly intelligent, which was dangerous.

Sara said, as a way of an explanation for her deceit, "Things were taking too long."

"Why?" Gene growled, stepping closer to her. "We had a plan."

"The moment Mai came into contact with the Lasser Glass your plan went out the window." Sara snapped, whipping her head around the Gene. There was something sinister behind the fragile girl's sudden temperament. "He would have found her, and he would have killed her - no questions asked. Then the curse would never be broken and I would be stuck like this forever."

"You were scared," Naru interpreted and Sara eyed him with lethal silence. "And you couldn't wait for the plan, so you took things into your own hands and compromised Mai's safety."

Sara said darkly, "If memory serves, it was you that sent her into a frenzy and didn't bother to go after her."

Naru could feel Lin's frustration and the Chinese man finally said. "For God's sake, Naru, what the hell is going on?"

"Gene and I were going to take Mai's place for the curse." said Naru, as there was no point in hiding it any longer. "We were trying to get the pieces together in order to lure Izanagi here and make the deal to use us instead. It's what he wants."

Lin, who had known the twins since they were young boys, was visibly upset by this. Naru realized his former-teacher was connecting about a dozen different loose ends during their researching together. "Damnit, why are you always on some suicide mission? If you trade places with Mai, then you'll die!"

Gene filled in the missing gaps of knowledge. "Maybe not. Hear us out: the curse started with twins due to a stronger link. Mai had found out that the Lasser Glass was the missing piece to end this, but her soul wouldn't have been able to handle the power once the curse was broken and the anchor destroyed. If we were able to convince Izanagi to use us instead, Noll and I could split the energy between us and when the curse broke Noll would have a better chance at surviving. There's also a possibility that Noll could use his own energy to prevent his soul from completely detaching during the process."

"This is insane!" Lin exclaimed. "You two are talking about 'chances' and 'possibilities' when there's no scientific proof to back any of this up. When was the last time you saw somebody come back to life because their 'soul' wasn't detached? I'm not just going to stand by and let plan your death whenever the hell you want."

"If we don't do this than Mai will die," said Gene.

"There has to be another way," Lin argued again. He looked directly at Naru when he said, "I know you care about her, but please, there has to be another Gods-damned way!"

Naru said, "There is no other way now. Sara made sure of that when she tipped Izanagi off about the possibility of Gene and I as replacements."

Sara snorted, "you didn't have any kind of upper hand anyway. You should be thanking me or else your little pet would be dead."

"Shut your mouth," Naru growled. This seemed to break some kind of leash within Naru's annoyance and he stalked over to her. He was sick of her games and manipulation, especially now that they had to scramble to come up with a plan because Sara was too afraid of the bastard to do anything herself. Naru's gaze hardened when he stood in front of the seemingly frail girl.

Darkly, he said. "You got us into this mess, now you're going to get us out of it - or I will make certain that you're stuck watching this curse live out for eternity. And eternity for a spirit...well, that's a very long time."

Sara raised an eyebrow at his threat, "You wouldn't dare leave her with the curse."

A new type of distaste filled Naru up as he watched Sara, indeed, call his bluff. But what she didn't know is that it wasn't a bluff at all. He meant every single word because if he had the chance he would spend his lifetime searching for ways to make her suffer more than she already has, especially since she is the reason Mai is in danger to begin with. Naru had his fair share of fuck-ups, but not enough to directly threaten her life. And that, to Naru, was a huge mistake.

Naru realized, in a span of a moment, he would do anything for Mai. Even if it meant an eternity of hell for his mistakes.

"You think I am bluffing? Good luck finding another set of twins that are not only strong enough but are willing to do this." Naru threatened.

"You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you had left her, the guilt would make you do it."

"Not if I were dead." Naru said darkly, to which both Lin and Gene took surprised breathes. An apostrophe of frustration formed in the middle of Sara's eyebrows, a sign that Naru took as her re-considering.

Lin grabbed his arm. "Noll, you can't be serious!"

But he was serious - serious enough that Naru yanked back his arm, shoving Lin away from him as he turned back to Sara. "Go ahead, call my bluff. I dare you."

Because if he had lost Mai for good… then there wouldn't be anything left for him. He was willing to risk it all because to hell with all of these pointless moves and countermoves that seemed to leave everything on the grid in a stalemate.

His frustrations and gamble must have truly made Sara reconsider and Naru could see the wheels turning in that manipulative head of hers. He saw her make a decision.

Reluctantly, Sara said. "What do you need me to do?"

^.^

I vaguely remember being in a car, and having the sensation of driving. My head was still pounding behind my closed lids and, besides my arms and legs being tied up so I couldn't move, I didn't want to move. I felt like if I moved I would throw up my stomach contents.

"Just kill me," I begged at one point while the car was stopped. Izanagi got out of the front seat and rounded to the back of the car and opened the door. The sunlight, a tell-tale sign that we had driven throughout the night, spilled into the car and I blinked hard, squinting my eyes shut. I didn't expect it to hurt so much, the blinding light seemed to intensify the pain and pounding in my skull.

"Please," I rasped in a dry voice, desperately. "Just kill me."

Izanagi slid in beside me and said, "I wouldn't dare give you the luxury of a clean death, especially when it's much more beneficial to keep you alive a while longer."

I felt him yank at my tied arms and I groaned at how tender everything was. Every movement was agony, perhaps I had a concussion. I didn't know. All I knew was that I felt pain everywhere and couldn't exactly pinpoint what didn't hurt.

Despite this, I still tried to tug my arm away but I was so weak it was more of a single flinch. I felt Izanagi's grip tightened and I groaned again, too exhausted to scream or cry in pain. Then, there was a sharp point that pricked into my skin and I felt the contents of whatever he stuck into my arm hit my veins. It felt like ice-water throughout my body and I squirmed from the sensation.

Then, he jerked the sharp tip of the needle out of my skin roughly, making me yelp out loud in pain.

It didn't take long for whatever he injected into me to completely hit my system and the world slowly got foggier and foggier.

^.^

The next time I woke up, I was no longer in a car. Instead, I was laying down in a damp, cold prison cell. The location struck me as odd because I had thought we would head towards the cabin location. Currently, it was dark outside, from what I could see from the old stone window from high above me. I wasn't even sure how long we had driven, or how many days it has been since I've been missing. The night brought along a chill that my thin sweater and jeans could not keep away.

I did nothing but lay there for what felt like hours before I felt enough strength to attempt to get up. Slowly, I pushed myself up from the cold stone ground and tried to look around, to take in my surroundings. Everything was so damned dark, I couldn't see a thing.

As I waited for my eyes to adjust, I looked down at my forearm and noticed the large bruises inside my elbow area that were covered in dried blood, most likely from the needles he had been using on me to keep me sedated. I didn't even want to think about the possibility of an infection before I noticed something else, my wrists were chained up. This time, they were not tied together as they had been throughout the car ride (which I could feel the stiffness in my shoulders). These were real chains fastened on my wrists, heavy and secure and oddly surreal. They were bolted to the wall behind me, giving me some leeway to move around and I noticed I had at least half the decency to use the other side of the cell to relieve my stomach's contents and biological needs. Since it still hurt to move my head to try and focus on anything in the cell, all I had the strength to do once I sat up was to lean my head against the equally cold stone wall behind me and look up at the ceiling.

I half hoped, despite my current state, I could touch that power and send a message to Gene. But, a was a hollow, empty feeling was all I felt in response - similar to when I tried to use the power against Izanagi. It was like slamming into a brick wall, whereas before there was an almost beautiful feeling that would dance beneath my skin when I touched the power.

I never thought I would miss that darkness but I felt instantly more lonely without it. The power of the anchor began to grow on me and… now without it, I felt useless.

The wariness and tiredness took a while to finally leave my system. I don't know how long I stayed awake in that damp, cold, cell and I was finally able to feel myself getting a little stronger. Not that it mattered much since I was currently chained up in a prison cell. But, it meant that I could move around. I tested the chains, pulling them forward with all my might and the slack meant that I could, maybe, get to the door of this cell and from there… who knows.

Gathering my strength, I leaned forward onto my knees and crawled towards the door. My body protested and my head was still pounding from beneath my eyes.

But I continued forward until I felt the chains pull taut behind me. My eyes finally adjusted to the darkness and I was able to make out some shapes. This room seemed to be a large atrium, with a couple cells in the back where I was and the entrance to a door on the other side.

There was something else in the room too...something that looked large and cloaked. I couldn't make it out though. I scanned the inside of my cell again and saw that I was not alone in here.

A person was standing in the opposite corner, or at least it seemed to be shaped like a human, and as I tried to make out it's features - the figure moved. My movement was sluggish and slow, so when I jerked backwards, my head spun and the world became a blur of black and purple dots before I felt myself tumble over.

"Such a shame to see you've come to this," a familiar voice said.

Golden eyes shone in the darkness.

"Kitzune," I groaned.

"Never a dull moment with you," he said and I could hear the grin in his tone.

"I need help," I slowly pushed myself up, looking up at him. He had taken on a humanoid form, with shoulders that was met with a tall, slim body. I could make-out the slight outline of the face he had chosen this time, it was an almost human face with fox accents, such as fur meeting with sharp facial features.

"I'm aware."

I made it into a sprawled sitting position. "My powers… I can't feel them."

"That will pass once the drugs are out of your system completely." He answered. "And it doesn't help when you're using all your extra energy keeping the veil up."

"The veil?"

"Yes, it's what prevents ghosts from being physical forms in the living world. That little trick you pulled back in your apartment seems to have created a temporary void in the worlds that allows the Dark Realm residents to roam freely on this realm. The Spirit Guardians are not very happy with you."

I tried to recall on what I had done in my apartment, I was so consumed with rage that I pulled the two worlds together: the dead and living. But, the veil he called it, was not a physical thing. How could it extend to Dark Land ghosts when they had the ability to roam the land freely anyway? It hit me then that this meant ghosts were able to be in the physical world without physical bodies, or use any spiritual energy.

Kitzune continued, "it's draining your energy, slowly. Soon, you'll be squeezed of any power."

"How do I stop it?" Because I needed my power. I needed it to get out of here, and to get help.

"I've told you before what you have to do." Kitzune said, darkly.

And I remembered… but, what he was asking was impossible. He wanted me to look into the Lasser Glass.

"I can't," I grounded out. "It's all the way back in Tokyo."

"Is it?" Kitzune grinned. He lifted his eyes outside of the cell and I followed his gaze.

I caught a glimpse of the large object in the corner of the room, outside of my cell door that I had seen before.

"It's fascinating being so close to such an entity." Kitzune said. "This isn't even the Lasser Glass' full potential and it feels magnificent. To think, if you were to surrender yourself completely to the mirror, you could leave all this pain behind."

It was true - because if I had succumbed to the mirror I would go insane. My mind would no longer belong to me, and instead it would belong to the Lasser Glass. I felt it's intent that day at the storage locker and I still couldn't shake the feeling of being so close to the mirror.

And yet now I feel nothing because of the drugs in my system, whatever Izanagi had injected into me to keep me compliant. My anchor and sensitive esper abilities were gone too, which meant I couldn't feel the presence of the mirror beyond the physical.

Kitzune continued. "I'll help you become what you need to become in order to beat this."

I felt the chains, like suffocating bricks of ice on my wrists, slowly begin to disappear before the cuffs and chains clanked to the ground. The latch on the door was lifted and the iron cell door creaked open slowly, showing me the path towards the glass, allowing me to go to it.

That's how Kitzune was going to help me. He was going to clear a path for me to do what I needed to do.

Become what I needed to become is what he said, but what did that mean? What did I have to become? And, would I lose myself if I were to become it?

Slowly, I pushed myself up.

It didn't matter if I lost myself to it because I could look into the mirror, fulfill my end of the bargain to Kitzune, kill Izanagi and end this curse. Then I could finally be free.

I could be free.

Leaning forward, I stumbled and caught myself on the stone wall. It was hard to walk, my legs felt so weak and with the drugs still in my system it was hard to stop the urgent pounding in my brain that wanted me to collapse.

I shuffled two steps, and then two more. Slowly inching my way closer and closer to the Lasser Glass. I did not feel it's menacing presence and so this time I was not afraid. A weight lifted from my shoulders, from my body. After all the hassle of finding the Lasser Glass to end this, it was right here. It had taken us months to locate it, hundreds of miles to have it travel to us and now it was finally here.

It was time to end all of this.

I didn't realize I was crying until a sob ripped out of my throat. Everything I had, everything I touched, was broken. I messed everything up. Lucien was dead because of me. All those souls that I took to the Iron Gates were gone from this earth forever because of me. Naru was never going to stay with me. Gene was gone. I was the one that had become so screwed up all those years ago.

But now I was going to do things right.

For Naru and Gene; for Sara and Hana.

For Lucien.

I owed this to all of them.

Breathing heavily, I dug deep into that courage inside of me and forced my feet to move forward, towards the outside of the prison cell. Into the dark abyss and towards the Lasser Glass.

I reached for the curtain covering the glass, the one Naru and Lin told me to never remove, and unraveled it. I watched it slowly fall to the ground, revealing the hideous, yet alluring Lasser Glass.

I could barely see what lay within it, and I forced my eyes to focus on the dark, shimmering surface. I scanned the mirror, scanned it for anything and waited for it to reach out for me, or touch my inner self with some kind of darkness. I expected the rumbling of the earth but there was nothing and I shuttered against the cold, my reflection doing the same.

It only showed myself.

"It didn't work," I whispered to Kitzune as I stood for another several seconds. He did not reply and when I turned to look at him he was gone, I realized I was alone. I felt failure hit me hard in the gut. Maybe the mirror didn't want me, maybe I wasn't worthy anymore. I tried to bite back the tears, but it was hard when I was freezing and the uncontrollable shivers forced them down my cheeks.

The surface of the Lasser Glass was calm, like a sea that was undisturbed and sleeping for a millennia.

Until I saw movement from within the mirror. I squinted my eyes, trying to capture the movement.

I was not alone.

I looked backwards again, scanning the dark cell I had emerged from and saw nothing. There was no way to come in or out of this cell and Kitzune was gone, there wasn't any explanation for something to be here with me. Unless this was the mirror.

Turning back, I gasped at the reflection that was now staring back at me.

My heart slammed against my skin, and I tried to stumble backwards, away from the mirror, but invisible hands held me firmly in my place.

An ancient and dark voice whispered, "Go on. See your true self."

Within the mirror, where I was standing, a familiar figure now stood. The grey leathery skin was taut against a lethally muscular, yet slim, body. Massive talons scraped against the floor as I flexed my hand.

The Pishacha

Piercing white-eyes gazed back at me. Watching me. I lifted my hand, my reflection doing the same and I realized it was not my reflection. This wasn't the Piscasha.

This is what lurked underneath.

I recalled what Gene had said about the Pishacha, a gatekeeper to the curse. In fact, it was exactly that: the gatekeeper.

I let out a shaky breath and stepped closer to the mirror, reaching out to feel the smooth surface beneath the pad of my fingertips. I stroked it and felt a shutter against my soul that licked it's way up my spine and I yielded wholly to that touch.

And then I truly looked into the Lasser Glass.

^.^