I know what she'll do upstairs so I sent the kids home and I followed her in our bedroom. There I saw her holding bunch of pills in her hand which is shaking. She is staring at them with her every will not to take them. I know she doesn't want to. Her brain and body are forcing to. Going back to Capitol pulled her back to the pills again. I knew that the moment I saw the letter. I was just clouded by questions and self-pity to act on it. That place is bad for her and given Felix's wealth, she was able to get anything she wants, any pills she wants. She fell down the hole once more.
"Eff, they looked pretty but you know what they do", I said.
Tears fell from her eyes. She is struggling. I know that. She has come down from the high and now seeing some sense about her situation but the urge to take more is strong.
"I cannot stop", she muttered.
"Of course you can, sweetheart. Look at you right now. You could've taken those earlier when I wasn't here and yet you are able to hold it this long", I said and that is not sugarcoating anything. "Look at me, baby", and she did. "You are stronger than you know. I am sure you are thinking that's not true but it is. You're strong, smart, and very stubborn to be beaten by this. You were able to get passed this before, Eff. Sure as hell you can do it again because I'm here. I am not going anywhere and I am not going to let you go again", I added.
She pursed her lips trying to word her thoughts carefully.
"How did we become married to each other?" she asked.
I knew that question is coming up but I didn't expect it to be this way.
"I had Plutarch made a marriage certificate and we forged your signature on it so the paper is legal", I answered.
"So, you committed a crime. You lied for me", she said.
That sounded so bad when she put it like that.
"Well, you told a lie for me more than once, sweetheart. It's only fitting I do the same for you", I confirmed.
She smiled.
"What a relationship this is, Haymitch? It's practically based on lies", she said.
"The old world we lived in was full of lies but what we are to each other, what you are to me, what I feel for you…they're not lies, Eff. I love you and that is the truth", I said.
More tears fell from her eyes and I did my best to brush them away.
"I love you too, Haymitch. I want you to know that. I only did what I did because I don't want you to die. I don't want you to lose yourself. I would rather have you hating me for the rest of my life than you suffering in guilt because of me, because of my death. I am so sorry", she exclaimed.
"Darling…I never blamed you for anything. You don't have to apologize. If the situation is reversed, I would've done the same thing. I would've done everything for you. Hell, I just spearheaded a forgery for you and I would've killed that asshole if you hadn't stopped me so we're not so different after all", I said and she laughed.
It's good to hear her laughter again. I missed it. I missed her.
"Let's start over again, princess. Let's start fresh. No more lies this time, just the truth. What do you say?" I asked opening my palm in front of her.
She kept her eyes on me while she struggled until she poured the pills from her hand to mine. It took all she had to do that and I can see it. I am very proud of her.
"I will take that as a yes. Fair warning, we are really married now, princess, so you're known now as Effie Abernathy", I said.
"That won't be a problem. I like the sound of that", she replied.
"I am glad you do. I love you, Mrs. Abernathy", I said.
"I love you too, Mr. Abernathy", she said.