Awareness crept in.
(Where…?)
Familiar reiatsu lingered calm-content-peaceful against his senses, quelling the spark of panic before it could take root.
(Hadn't he been… outside?)
He was laying down, a pillow beneath his head and a blanket over his body, which meant he'd been unconscious long enough — and deep enough — to be carried… somewhere.
(He'd… been with Hanataro last, hadn't he…?)
Kaito sighed and tugged his left hand free of someone's grip in order to rub clumsily at his eyes, dislodging the grit that had gathered.
(Wait… someone's hand?)
His mind ground to a halt.
(Why the hell would someone be holding his hand?)
"Back with us, Senpai?"
Kaito started. Levered himself up. Stared dazedly at Ishida. Tried to make sense of a world in which Ishida Uryuu sat at someone's bedside.
A soft giggle to his right drew his attention to Hanataro, who was holding his other hand and looking sleep-ruffled enough that Kaito suspected he'd been asleep until moments ago.
"Was I dying or something?" Kaito questioned, slanting a confused look at Ishida. That was the only thing that made sense if he was being honest.
(Maybe he'd pushed himself too far?)
(How long could a body survive without consistent sleep?)
"Senpai, you were so exhausted you fell asleep the minute everything was over. You didn't even stir when I picked you up," Ishida said with a scowl almost worthy of Kurosaki. "Hanataro-san said you just needed sleep, but you slept for almost a full day."
"And that required a bedside vigil?" Kaito asked Ishida with an arched eyebrow before turning the look on Hanataro when all Ishida did was scowl at him. "And why were you sleeping like that? That can't have been comfortable."
"I've b-been busy! Unohana-taicho's been… been having me h-help teach Inoue-san," Hanataro defended himself, hand tightening around Kaito's and expression turning stubborn. "B-besides, you, uhm… y-you slept better i-if… if one of us w-was w-with you."
"We've been taking turns staying with you," Ishida continued, arms crossed over his chest. "You needed the sleep and it was no trouble for us, so don't even try to argue that we shouldn't have done it."
Kaito closed his eyes and grimaced, rubbing at the side of his nose and wishing desperately for the floor to open up and swallow him whole. Of all the things for the teens to notice!
(Damn his neediness!)
Zangetsu stirred in the back of his mind, slowly waking up but still projecting warmth-kindness-reassurance. It… helped. Let Kaito breathe through the embarrassment until it was less, until he didn't want to escape quite so badly.
"K-Kaito-san? What… what's wrong?" Hanataro asked.
"It's… nothing. Don't worry about it," Kaito said with a strained smile, too tired to force his usual mask into place. He gently pulled his hand free of Hanataro's grip and swung his legs over the side of the bed, giving himself a quick once-over in the process.
Someone had washed the sweat and dirt of battle from his skin and changed his clothing while he slept, but his necklace and bracelet remained in place. He hoped that meant they hadn't been taken off, but if they had… if they had, he hoped Hanataro was the only one who saw what was under the kido that made him look like Urahara.
(Hanataro didn't seem to be treating him any differently, so… maybe nothing had happened?)
(He could hope.)
"I, uhm… I had y-your cl-clothing washed." Hanataro nodded towards a table against the opposite wall, where a stack of clothing was sitting, then indicated the door next to it. "Bathroom's throu-through there, i-if you need it."
"Thanks." Kaito swung his legs over the edge and carefully stood up, giving himself a moment to make sure his legs wouldn't give out. He seemed fine though, even when he took a cautious step away from any support, so he nodded to Ishida and Hanataro, grabbed a change of clothing, and went into the bathroom.
Closing the door behind him was a relief, and he slumped against it with a soft sigh. Privacy at last.
(What a mess.)
(What in the world had he done to make Ishida act like that?)
(He'd have never been so confident as to sit vigil at someone's bedside…)
Kaito pushed away from the door with a shake of his head; whatever changes he'd wrought, surely it was for the better and he shouldn't complain. It was just… he'd never expected to wake up with anyone around.
He went through the motions of getting ready, mind elsewhere and gaze roving over the small room. It was utilitarian, just large enough to fit a toilet and a sink and small space to change, fitted with bars he could hold on to and a window across from the door that looked out over the rooftops.
A window that could open.
Kaito had it open in a heartbeat. Leapt up to perch upon the sill.
Hesitated.
(He shouldn't.)
(He should go back. Talk instead of flee.)
(*There's no shame in needing space to find your balance again,*) Zangetsu murmured in reassurance, presence steady and nonjudgmental.
(*They'll worry,*) Kaito said with a glance at the door. Neither Hanataro nor Ishida felt worried yet, but that would change the moment Kaito left. They… really didn't deserve that. He could deal with the fussing until they left him alone. He knew he could.
(*Hanataro will understand.*)
Kaito bit his lip and leaned out the window a bit more, balancing carefully on the narrow sill. Hanataro would most likely understand, but would he be able to convince Ishida that it was alright? Would Ishida continue to worry?
Zangetsu's calm crept back in, steadying his limbs and settling his mind. Kaito took a deep breath, held it for the count of three, then let it out again. Repeated. Tipped his right arm up to feel the charms against his wrist.
He didn't want to stay, he acknowledged, rocking up on the balls of his feet and curling his bare toes over the lip of the window. He didn't want to stay and Zangetsu was right; he didn't have to.
(Ishida's worry wasn't his responsibility.)
Mind made up, Kaito hid his reiatsu and leapt. Landed on the tiled roof across the way.
Darted off without a backwards glance.
Seireitei was… calmer than he expected, Kaito decided as he meandered across the rooftops and picked his way towards Kurosaki's reiatsu signature. He didn't remember how the Shinigami had reacted to the original invasion he'd lived through, but… surely this wasn't normal, was it?
Repairs were already underway for the few things that had been broken in the invasion and he could see people cleaning up the remains of the traps he'd scattered around, but overall… everything looked like a normal city to his eyes. As if the invasion hadn't even happened.
(He wasn't certain how he felt about that.)
(On one hand, it was probably for the best, but on the other…)
(How complacent were they?)
Kaito shook his head and darted forward, crossing the avenue and landing lightly on the Thirteenth Division's roof. Kurosaki was here somewhere—
Sunlight glinted off a familiar blade and Kaito leaned forward to peer into the courtyard below. His senses were telling him that everything was alright, that Kurosaki was fine, but he just… he needed to be sure. Needed to see the teen with his own eyes before he could let himself believe that he'd gotten away with changing the future.
Kurosaki swung his blade around. Twisted away from Kuchiki Rukia's strike. Swept in to send her tumbling back. Closed to exchange a flurry of blows.
Kaito breathed a sigh of relief; both Kuchiki and Kurosaki had familiar looks of concentration on their faces, which meant it was a friendly spar. They'd even attracted an audience, various Shinigami lingering in the courtyard or leaning against the railing of the covered porch. Even Sado was present, sitting and having a meal with—
Ukitake looked up. Met his gaze. Smiled with relief-kindness-warmth and—
Kaito bolted before the man could do anything else.
(He would not — could not! — deal with Ukitake while he felt so unbalanced!)
He raced across the rooftops, away from the Thirteenth and its confusing Captain, away from the teens and their questions, away from everything. The wind tugged at his hair and kimono, sweeping away his thoughts until his mind was empty and all he could feel was the wind in his face and the tiles under his feet and the sun on his back.
He kept running, reveling in the freedom, in the peace the action brought. He raced across Seireitei roofs, avoiding the bold-bright signatures of Captains and Lieutenants alike, until the anxious, restless energy beneath his skin was spent and he could finally breathe.
Kaito settled on a roof far from any signature he recognized. Drew his knee up to his chest and wrapped an arm around it. Stared out at Seireitei and the Rukongai beyond it.
Below him, Shinigami went about their business without looking up, leaving him to his silent contemplation.
(It was a relief, being alone but not alone.)
(No one hovering over him, worrying over him.)
(It made him feel… normal again.)
Kaito lost track of time, basking in the sun and the calming presence of people going about their daily business. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, letting his mind drift idly from thought to thought.
(The teens were fine—)
(—should find that curry stand again—)
(Hanataro…?)
(—sun was so warm—)
(Was this… peace…?)
Tiles grated as someone landed awkwardly on the roof behind him in a burst of familiar, flickering reiatsu.
"You're getting better at that," Kaito said without opening his eyes, tracing Takara's careful steps across the roof with hearing alone.
"Thanks," Takara huffed and dropped to sit nearby, his reiatsu reaching out to brush tentatively against Kaito's own in greeting. "Still don't know how you make it look so easy, though."
"Practice," he offered with a shrug, letting his head loll towards Takara and cracking his eyes open to peer at him. "With reiatsu control and shunpo both."
"No more magical advice for me?" Takara asked, tone warm and lightly teasing.
Kaito snorted and gave Takara a dry look, amused despite himself. "Find someone who wants to learn and play shunpo tag. It's how Yoruichi taught me."
Takara inhaled sharply, eyes going wide. "Yoruichi? As in Shihoin Yoruichi, the Goddess of Flash?"
"Er… yes? She and father are friends," Kaito mumbled while ducking his head and looking away.
(He shouldn't have said that.)
(Now Takara would know who he was, who he was related to—)
(Now Takara would never trust him again.)
"Woah, hey, sorry, sorry!" Takara edged closer, body warm as he pressed against Kaito's side and carefully pulled him into a one-armed hug. "We heard about her in class sometimes," Takara said softly, reverently. "She mastered shunpo like no one had before or since and I… I always wondered if… if maybe someone like her could tell me what I was doing wrong." His arm tightened around Kaito and his reiatsu echoed with joy-happiness-wonder as he said, "And you did! It was… it was always just wishful thinking and then you took the time to help me even though you didn't have to and I just… Thank you, Kaito-san. Really."
Kaito twisted back to stare at Takara in shock, uncertain of how to respond to that. His mind was blank, empty but for a strange rushing noise that drowned out everything else.
(He'd… helped…?)
(He'd helped…)
"I don't care if you're not a great master or anything," Takara declared, chin tipping up and lips thinning. "All the skilled users in the world mean nothing to me, because they didn't do anything and you did."
He blinked at Takara's vehemence, a reluctant smile pulling at his lips as he shook off his shock. "Not many people think that way. Between learning from a legend or learning from a student, most people would prefer to learn from the legend."
"You helped me when no one else did and that's enough for me. I think… I think people who help are worth more than all the legends in history, you know? Because the only thing their stories can teach me is… is how much I don't know. But you just… you explained things without expecting anything in return. That's rare."
Kaito looked down at Takara's hand on his waist, mulling over the Shinigami's words instead of just reacting to them. He supposed Takara had the right of it; Shinigami seemed to pride themselves on being individuals, to the point where the lower ranks suffered for it. In a system like that, how common would it be for any sort of advice to be given to anyone?
(Rarely, he suspected.)
(*Favorites only, I think,*) Ichigo piped up, presence soft and half asleep. (*Rukia got special training because of her connections, but Renji mostly made his own way once he knew the basics. It's up to each Shinigami to better themselves, but without connections that can be a hard road to travel. And with everyone's zanpakutou being distinct…*)
He hummed and looked out over Seireitei, letting his senses unfurl in order to take in as much as he could. There were so many low-ranked Shinigami, flickering candles before the banked fires of the Captains, and even the seated officers didn't offset that balance much.
Who would have time to do their duty and train more than a few favorites here and there? And with such longevity amongst Shinigami as a whole, chances for promotion were slim; without an incentive for growing stronger, wouldn't it be easy to simply fall into the trap of 'good enough'?
'Good enough' made it easy to brush aside inconvenient things, Kaito knew.
(Like a struggling junior, skilled enough to keep up but nothing more.)
(Was there anything about Seireitei that wasn't corrupt or falling apart?)
Ichigo mulled it over, thoughts flickering too fast for Kaito to keep up with. (*Individuals,*) he suggested after a moment. (*At its core, the idea is good and there are good people here, trying to do good things. But the longevity works against them as much as it works for them and change in a society like this is rarely fast, unless something like Aizen's rebellion happens.*)
(*I wonder how much change it will prompt in the end.*) Kaito hoped it would be a change for the better, but he didn't know. Hadn't had a chance to see the fallout in their world. Didn't know what change his own presence would prompt.
(Speaking of change, at what point did his own knowledge become useless?)
(Was it useless now?)
(Would Aizen change his plans because Kaito existed?)
(Or would he settle in Hueco Mundo, self-confident to the point of hubris, and continue with the plans that Kaito remembered?)
(Which did he want to stake the teens' lives on…?)
Takara nudged him with a shoulder. "Everything alright? Is there anything I can help with?"
Kaito blinked, disoriented by the sudden question. "I… don't know." He tipped his head back as he thought it over. The Aizen situation wasn't anything he wanted to drag Takara into, even if he could craft a hypothetical question that didn't immediately give himself away, but… there was something else, wasn't there? More immediate. More troubling in a way. "Any advice for dealing with Captains trying to train me?"
"Captains trying to… trying to train you?"
"Apparently I'm the first dual-wielder that Ukitake and Kyoraku have come across beyond themselves," Kaito explained as best he could, then rubbed at the side of his nose and huffed a sigh. "I'm not… I don't know what to say."
Takara watched him with narrowed eyes, brows furrowed in thought. "Why not accept? What about Ukitake-taicho and Kyoraku-taicho's offer bothers you?"
What bothered him…?
"They're Shinigami."
"So am I, and you don't seem to have a problem with me. Or Minami. Or that healer I heard about."
"They're Captains and old ones at that," he protested with a grimace, giving Takara a look that hopefully conveyed the depth of his feelings on that. "My father is an exile and I'm… I'm not much better off, and they're offering to train me but people like that only pay attention to someone like me when they want something and I can't figure out what they want!"
Takara hummed and pulled away while Kaito tried to calm his breathing, then offered his hand before Kaito could do more than give Takara a startled look.
"Come on. Let's get out of Seireitei for a bit." Takara wiggled his hand in front of Kaito's face in emphasis.
"Takara-san…?" Kaito asked as he reluctantly accepted Takara's hand and let the other draw him to his feet. Leaving Seireitei seemed a bit extreme; he was just being childish about the attention of two Captains, one of which was Takara's Captain.
"You're from there, right? Rukongai, I mean." Takara gave Kaito's bare feet and simple kimono a considering look, then glanced over towards the Rukongai and frowned. "Will you be alright if we leave your blades behind, or do you need to grab them?"
"I am," Kaito answered even as he reached inward to Shiro and Ichigo. He didn't want to go back to the Fourth to find his blades — that ran the risk of being caught and questioned, after all — and he didn't want to dispel and recreate them when he didn't know who was around the original copies, since Shinigami blades were physical objects and his weren't, which ran the risk of alerting others to his Quincy heritage. He'd go back and fetch them if Shiro and Ichigo weren't comfortable with him leaving them behind though.
Shiro grumbled and relented, presence mulish-stubborn-understanding. (*S'fine. Jes don't ferget 'bout us forever.*)
(*Can you keep those blades manifested even when we travel outside Seireitei?*) Ichigo wondered, directing his question at both Kaito and Zangetsu.
Zangetsu chuckled when Kaito's mind came up blank and answered for him. (*They will stay until you either unmake them or Shiro or Ichigo revoke your right to use their blade. Those blades are no more a true Quincy manifestation than they are a true Zanpakutou, but rather a blend of the two.*)
(*Because of us?*) Ichigo asked.
(*Indeed. A Quincy manifestation is born of skill and concentration, but the two of you are an anchor that no pure Quincy has. Because of you, the blades will remain physical even when we are unconscious or far away. Though… I am unsure what will happen to them if we cross between worlds and leave them behind.*)
Kaito turned that idea over in his mind; finding out what happened when they left their blades in another world was probably something they should discover before it came to bite them in the ass. For now, though…
He dragged his attention back to Takara and suppressed a wince at the concern creeping into his expression. "I'll be fine without my blades, but… why do you want to leave?" he asked, trying to distract Takara from… whatever he'd seen while Kaito was speaking with his spirits.
"Because you need something else to focus on," Takara answered immediately instead of asking whatever question was lurking in his mind. He drew back towards the edge of the roof, pulling lightly on Kaito's hand until he followed him. "Because Seireitei can be overwhelming, and the attentions of Captains even more so and… and sometimes the best thing is to just go somewhere familiar and forget about everything else for a while."
Kaito let Takara draw him off the roof and onto the street below, using a touch of reiatsu to harden the soles of his feet. Now that he wasn't running on emotion, it felt… strange to wander around barefoot. Taboo, almost.
(Like he was announcing his heritage for all to see.)
(A heritage that no one wanted to see, here in the heart of Shinigami power.)
Barefoot and unarmed, wearing only a simple kimono, he stood out next to Takara. How many rules was he breaking like this? How many of the looks they were gathering were because of his manner of dress and how many because of who he was?
"Are you sure this is wise?" Kaito murmured as they passed another squad of Shinigami who side-eyed the two of them. "Your reputation—"
"What reputation?" Takara asked with a faint smile, amused and resigned all at once. "I've barely been a Shinigami for half a year and my grades weren't outstanding. I don't have a reputation to ruin and I doubt any of them will remember me come morning. It's you they're paying attention to, Kaito-san, and your reputation on the line."
Kaito grimaced and looked down at the ground. Takara's words made sense, and he didn't particularly care what sort of reputation he earned amongst the Shinigami, but… it was still strange to be the center of attention. Before, it had always been Ichigo who people focused on, his bold, bright, determined friend who bulldozed through expectations and gathered friends as easily as breathing. He'd always been the one in the shadows, the second-best, always on the edges and often ignored by outsiders because of it.
(*You didn't seem to want to be part of the group,*) Ichigo said apologetically, shame curling through him. (*We could convince you to come to lunch sometimes but you… seemed like you needed your space, especially after the invasion. We didn't want to drive you off.*)
He took a careful breath, swallowing back the lump in his throat at the reminder of how much he'd overlooked the first time through. Everything had hurt after the invasion and the loss of his power, especially being around the others. But… the lack of more interaction had also hurt.
(He didn't want to be with them, but he wanted to be with them.)
(How pathe—)
Kaito cut the thought off ruthlessly, dragging his spirits closer and clinging to them as he focused on reframing the thought. He wasn't pathetic, he'd been wounded by the invasion in ways he'd never revealed. Their friendships had been too new and he'd clung to pride and isolation as the only thing he knew how to do.
The warring desires for contact and no contact were both unavoidable and natural.
He wasn't pathetic because of it.
(Maybe if he repeated it enough he'd finally believe it.)
(Maybe.)
It was a relief when Takara paused and Kaito looked up to see the ruin of one of the massive gates in front of them. He followed Takara up and over the rubble, pausing just beyond the gate to peer back over his shoulder at Seireitei.
Standing beyond the barrier was like closing a door behind him, cutting off the stares and the sensation of power and everything else that was Seireitei. It was like a weight dropping away from his shoulders, relief and shock and freedom rolled into a single jolt.
Even being unable to sense Kurosaki and Ishida was… acceptable. He'd seen them, seen them healthy and alive and safe, protected by Shinigami who cared, who Kaito almost trusted…
(Nothing had happened to any of them last time.)
(Well… except for Kenpachi chasing Ichigo around for a rematch.)
Ichigo caught Kaito's amusement and countered it with exasperation. (*You know he's going to be going after you this time, not Kurosaki.*)
(*I know. But I don't have to worry about any of that right now,*) Kaito answered as he breathed deep and stretched his arms, trailing after Takara and taking in the district around them. It was almost a mirror of the one they'd barged into, well-kept but aging, filled with powerless souls that mostly ignored them as they walked.
"How far out do you usually go?" Kaito stretched his legs to catch up to Takara and fell into step with him, wondering where he was being led.
Takara made a face and gave an awkward shrug as they reached the edge of the village. "Second district is as far as I can get on a day off and still be able to return in time."
Kaito glanced at the land beyond the village, at the cultivated fields with regimented groves in the distance, and then back to Takara, an idea already creeping in. "You wanted to get better at shunpo, right?" When Takara nodded, hesitant but interested, Kaito smiled and swept out an arm to indicate the fields in front of them. "I told you Yoruichi taught me shunpo by playing tag, right? So… how about it? No destination, just… as fast and as long as you can go."
"And… when I'm tired? If we go too far away…"
"We'll find a village and rest for a bit, then I'll bring you back. Even if you're so exhausted I have to carry you." Kaito winced as soon as the words were out of his mouth and looked away, rubbing at the back of his head in embarrassment. That was… a bit much, wasn't it. They weren't really friends, so an offer like that… "Ah, well… only if you don't mind, I mean. We don't have to go that far—"
"It's fine!" Takara moved to stand in front of Kaito, expression determined. "I trust you and even if being carried is embarrassing, it means I tried my best, right? I want to get better!"
Kaito relaxed at the reassurance and let his hand drop back to his side. "Then shall we go? I'll keep my speed equal or just a bit faster than you the whole time, so you should be able to catch me."
Takara nodded firmly then lunged, a spark of mischief glittering in his eyes as his hand brushed Kaito's arm. "You're it!" he announced as he darted away across the fields, chased by Kaito's startled laughter.
"We'll see about that!" Kaito called out, laughter on his lips and feeling lighter than he had in weeks. His toes dug into the dirt for a moment, grounding him in the now, before he burst into motion.
Takara had better watch out!